Most cliche things done in movies

[Jspider13]

What do you think is the most cliche type of thing you see in movies? Or even movie posters? In anything movie related?

For me, it's gotta be where two people are about to kiss and something interupts them before they do. :mad:

[dmcnx]

SCHOOL

* If you're a high school student in a film, you will always get one of the preferable eye-level lockers.
* In all high school or college classrooms, the teacher or professor will always be interrupted in mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
* In every school, there is at least one nerd or wimp that is shoved into lockers that are big enough to hold them.
* High Schools are always either in the middle of a city or a car ride away from the beach.

SEX

* All beds have a special L-shaped top sheet, which reaches up to armpit level on women but only to waist level on men.
* No-one ever needs a kleenex after sex.
* If you're a woman in a film and have just finished a steamy lovemaking session, make sure to lay back and pull the sheets up to your neck, just like in real life.
* All women moan during sex, but none sweat.
* Women (and men less often) either make love with their underclothes on or have put them back on in the immediate aftermath.
* Two total strangers, upon falling into bed together, will always reach an incredibly intense, mutual, and SIMULTANEOUS orgasm on the first try.

SHOPPING

* When bringing home bags of groceries in a film, it's required that you spill at least one bagful on the kitchen floor.
* Bags of groceries are never heavy.
* Whenever anyone in a movie goes shopping, they always come back with stuff sticking out of the top of the shopping bag, usually carrot tops and French bread.
* Corollary: every shopping bag contains at least one baguette (loaf of french bread).

SIGNALS

* If the tapping sound or flashing light represents morse code, there's always someone around that can interpret the message.
* When Morse Code is used, the interpreter will call out words as they are being sent, rather than letters. Furthermore, a single word is represented by a few "beeps", and all words are sent at the same rate, no matter how long the word is. Example:
beep-beep-be-beep...
"Help..."
be-be-beep beep...
"Us..."
beep-be-be-beep beep...
"We're..."
beep beep-be-beep...
"Surrounded..."
be-beep beep beep...
"Send..."
be-be-be-beep beep...
"Reinforcements..."
beep be-beep beep...
"Hurry..."
etc.
* A message in Morse Code will start several seconds before someone actually interprets it; however, no information is lost, as the message actually begins when the interpreter starts to read it.

SKYDIVING

* You got plenty of time up there, often a couple of minutes.
* You can almost talk casually to all your skydiving friends on the way down.
* If you don't have a parachute, just cling on to someone who has got one and don't let go until you're down.

SMOKING

* Smokers smoke only when there is a romantic or dramatic reason to. At other times the smoker has no need of cigarettes.

SPACE & VACUUM

* Explosions in space make noise
* Exposure to vacuum makes you horribly swell up and/or explode within seconds (ex. "Total Recall", "Outland")
* There's a deep humming in space, no doubt about it.
* Space is not Newtonian; spacecraft can't 'coast', but just stop dead if they run out of fuel or power.
* Laser beams are visible in vacuum.

SPACESHIPS

* Spaceships make noise!
* Spaceships always fly perpendicular to the same axis. When two spacecraft encounter each other, they're always aligned on a plane and never approach at odd angles.
* All spaceships, no matter how small, have internal artifical gravity and no matter how badly your ship gets pummeled by the evil aliens in the evil alien ship, no matter how many external panels get blown away, no matter how many sparks or how much smoke pours out of your control panels, the artificial gravity will always keep working.
* There are tiny cameras mounted everywhere, on every panel, in your spaceship. No matter what happens anywhere int eh ship, you will always be able to ask the computer to replay the scene for you later (even if the computer went up in smoke) and unlike those blurry convenience store cameras, your tiny ship cameras always capture everyone's actions at eye-level with perfect lighting.
* Warp or hyper-drive will always fail at critical moments.
* Inertial dampers will always prevent passengers from being plastered against the walls during acceleration into warp speed, yet any explosion will send passengers reeling across the room.
* In a spaceship battle scene, for a ship to fire a weapon at another, it must be in visual range. Even though the 20th century saw the advent of weapons that can be fired without visual contact, the people of the future have lost this technology.

SPORTS

* In any type of sport movie, a player on the field can look up into a crowd of 1 billion and immediately spot their loved one.

STAIRS

* Whenever anyone is chased to a staircase, s/he will run upstairs rather than down.

SUSPENSE

* In any movie where "something" has happened and villagers come to look at it, they always decide to "go for help". The most expendable member of the group is left to "keep an eye on it", and supplied with a weapon or signaling device "in case something happens". Said member ALWAYS responds: "What could happen?" This is a certain signal that he will die, gruesomely, within 2 minutes.

TEENAGERS

* The walls of a teenager's bedroom or a twentyish adult's apartment are always highly decorated, beyond anything sane, with every available inch of space covered with something cool.
* A movie teenager will always have a drainpipe situated next to his or her window. This drainpipe will be specially reinforced to hold their weight on escape.

TIME

* Movie timing is always exact. If a phone trace will take two minutes, for example, you can be sure that that means 120 seconds, not a fraction more or less. Same for bombs, amount of time to get to a destination, etc.
* Corollary to the above: all characters in a movie have their watches perfectly synchronized.

TRAFFIC

* When a main character has to cross the street (in one of the slower parts of the movie), he/she can always cross the street immediately. Of course, he/she jogs across in order to miss the one car that drives by after they cross.
* If there is traffic, then that means that the movie is at a more intense part (like a chase scene) in which case there are a lot of cars that crash into each other. None of the important characters get hurt, the accident is never heard on the news, and nobody sues anybody important. Very few people even get out of their cars, and yet, no airbags are to be seen.

TRAVEL

* Transportation always arrives and leaves on time.
* Characters arrive at the airport and get *right on the plane*. They must have the best timing of any people on Earth - I always have wait around for a while before boarding. (Not to mention getting a boarding pass and the "arrive 15 minutes before departure or you lose your seat" clause of most airlines. Good thing movie airlines never overbook!)
* Movie characters' suitcases are always weightless when they have to carry them.
* In emergencies, anyone can pick up flying a helicopter.
* Movie characters never suffer from motion sickness.

TREES

* Whichever tree branch the hero has perched on, the villain will invariably pause under.

VILLAINS

* The bad guy is the foreigner.
* Corollary: the foreigner is the guy who speaks English with an English accent
* The bad guy also has a side-kick muscleman, who has some sort of trademark gimmick that he/she uses to eliminate opponents. You must kill or decomission this muscleman by forcing a backfiring of this trademarked gimmick. If the muscleman dispatched by a different method, he/she is not dead. (For that matter, don't assume that anyone is dead unless their death was spectacular. Beware sequels.)
* No matter how dead you think you've killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least 3 more times. Therefore, always make sure to leave his gun in or near his hand after you've killed him and you turn away to comfort the girl.
* When a villain seems dead, he never is. He will always be allowed one, and sometimes two resurrections. The hero will frequently see him coming, even if his back is turned. If he doesn't, a friend will finish the villain off.
* The bad guy usually kills his henchman for failing, yet don't seem to run out of loyal henchmen.
* Bad guys lurk until their presence is revealed by a flash of lightning.
* You can kill the bad guy by taking careful note of any object that the camera has lingered on for an unnecessarly length of time; typically this is something like a meathook or a jagged bit of glass. You will be involved in a mighty struggle, and at the appropriate time you can become inspired (usually by either an insult from the bad guy or a look of faith from your love interest) with strength enough to force the bad guy into/onto/under/in front of the aforementioned object. Actor's Equity (Hollywood) requires that within 15 seconds either side of the bad guy's demise, you utter your trademark phrase.
* Whenever a villian has captured the hero, he will pause for 5 minutes to tell the hero _every_ detail of his plan to destroy and/or rule the earth, including times, dates, and addresses.
* The bad guy, having finally gotten the good guy into his clutches, will usually spend a few meglomaniac minutes gloating over his victory and his opponent's downfall. This increment of time will prove just enough to allow the good guy to figure a way out of his predicament, or just long enough to allow a rescue attempt.
* The bad guy, instead of simply offing the captured good guy on the spot, will devise some sort of drawn-out, fiendishly clever method of execution that will take enough time to allow the good guy to figure out his escape.
* When a villain seems dead, he never is. He will always be allowed one, and sometimes two resurrections. The hero will frequently see him coming, even if his back is turned. If he doesn't, a friend will finish the villain off.
* You can always tell which nationality the United States and the popular media are currently most unhappy with because that nation sends all their villains to star in Hollywood movies during those times (e.g. Germans in the late 40's and 50's, Asians in the 60's and 70's, Soviets in the 70's and 80's and Middle Easterners in the 90's).

WEAPONS

* Major characters never run out of ammunition, nor do they ever have to reload. (If the movie _does_ make them reload, they never have to actually carry any spare ammo until that scene)
* Guns never run out of ammunition unless escape would be otherwise impossible.
* The first shot or burst of fire from a bad guy _always_ misses, and is there just to announce that a fight will be taking place.
* Bad-guy hand grenades make noise and smoke, but no real damage; good-guy hand grenades are devastating but selective; they will destroy tanks, but won't hurt the thrower, even if he drops one on his toe. Bad-guy grenades used by good guys become good-guy grenades, and _vice versa_.
* When the villain runs out of bullets, he'll throw away his gun. When the hero does so, he'll conveniently come across another.
* Machine guns submerged underwater for a long time won't jam or misfire when the hero pops up to use them. (see any Rambo movie)
* A cigarette case/lighter in the shirt pocket will always block the bullet.
* When the hero faces a ridiculously large number of shooters with high powered weapons, they will all miss after several shots. Then, the hero will pulls out this gun that looks like a toy and start picking off the bad guys from half a mile away, usually hitting them in the forehead.
* People always pump out a few (probably used) shotgun shells at each corner when chasing someone.
* When people aim a rifle with binocular-sight at someone on a very long distance, they manage to keep them in the bull's-eye all the time even if they move around.
* When faced with dozens of armed opponents, the good guy will show up and appear to be shot, perhaps dozens of times. He will fall down, and presumably be dead, but will later miraculously turn out to have had the foresight to wear a bulletproof vest, armor plating, or even a silver tray to protect his torso (Batman). No one will ever shoot him in the head, where he is unprotected. Afterwards, instead of learning from his extremely good fortune, he throws his protection away, confident that the same situation cannot recur in his movie.
* When superheroes like Batman or Robocop use high technology to protect themselves, the bad guys never take advantage of obvious weaknesses, such as no face protection.
* Characters shot with guns will fly backward, or upward and backward, through the air - the laws of physics notwithstanding.
* Characters use silencers on revolvers... and it works.
* In 50% of action movies made after 1988, "Teflon Coated Cop Killer Bullets" will be referred to.
* No movie character will ever use or refer to a safety on any firearm.
* No movie character will ever use a .22-caliber weapon.
* The cowboy who exchanges a dozen shots with the bad guys without hitting one will nevertheless be able to hit and detonate a stick of dynamite from 150 feet away with a revolver on the first try.
* Once a character has flipped up the long range site on his rifle, he will always make his next shot.
* Bullets removed from shooting victims and displayed to the camera will not be misshapen in any way from the impact - and will sometimes still have the casing attached.
* Shots fired at the rear of a vehicle will cause the gas tank to explode.
* Shots fired at windshields never deflect; they always penetrate and hit the bad guy in the forehead. If the good guy is driving, he'll simply have to duck a little to avoid them.
* Shots fired at guys hiding around corners never whiz past; they always strike the edge of the building near the character's face.
* Shots fired in Westerns that do not hit a character always ricochet loudly.
* If there is a trough of water present in a Western gunfight scene, at least one shot will splash spectacularly in the water.
* Western characters are never shot in the legs while hiding behind wagons.
* No gun will ever jam or misfire after a quick-draw.
* In a duel or in a gunfight between two characters standing in a street, at least one charcter is always hit on the first exchange of gunfire.
* No debris will ever fall from a ceiling after a gun is fired upward into it.
* Shurrikens and thrown knives never miss, unless they pin a character's clothing to a wall or tree.
* Horses are never wounded in horseback gunfights.
* Assassins will always wait 'till the very last moment to assemble their complex sniper weapon (often a pistol the size of a rifle).
* Even weapons experts will freeze when confronted with a weapon which is not in firing condition-ie an un-cocked single action revolver or a submachine gun with its breech closed (also un-cocked). The person holding the gun must make several moves to fire the gun, and the adversary could just reach out and take the weapon, but the dropee just freezes even though often it is obvious that the cylinder is devoid of any ammo.
* Movie gunmen never lock and load their weapons when anticipating a life-or-death confrontation. Oh they have their weapons drawn, but not charged with a round in the chamber. They usually (always when carrying a pump-action shotgun) wait until they confront their quarry to slam a round into the chamber with a dramatic ca-chunking noise.
* Bullets, even though they are only pieces of lead-sometimes encased in copper, always make little explosions when they strike any kind of inanimate object.
* Photos of loved ones, religous medals, and bibles can stop bullets better than a bullet proof vest.
* All sub machine guns sound alike and have the same rate of fire
* NEW requirement: all automatic pistols must be held sideways in order to be fired.
* If you are a cowboy, aiming your rifle while using your horse as a support will always assure a first round hit.
* All aautomatic weapons must be cocked in order to be fired, but bolt action weapons can fire two or three times without being cocked!
* You can never un-jam a weapon by just pulling back the bolt and rechambering another round, 'though that will work 99 times out of 100 in real life.

WOMEN

* Women will always have shaved legs and armpits, even in caveman movies.
* Women will be worrying about their nails or dresses while people are trying to kill them. (see also CHASES)
* Women stand wide-eyed, hand to mouth, while hero battles villain. Women never thinks to clonk villain with handy object. Counterpoint: If woman does clonk, she always hits hero instead.
* Women always fight other movie women by pulling hair, falling to ground together, rolling over twice.
* High-powered female executives always wear miniskirts and five-inch heels to work
* Beautiful women will always fawn over an action hero, no matter what sexist remarks he makes to them.
* A female lead with feminist leanings will always despise a macho hero--until the first time he rescues her from certain death. She will then become totally conventional and dependent. Once she does this, the hero will become vulnerable and tell her about some tragic loss that will explain his belligerent attitude.
* Women wear make-up to bed, and wake up with hair and face completely intact.
* Women don't need to go to the bathroom when they get up but will shower frequently.
* If a woman is pregnant, she will deliver before the movie ends.
* Women also scream or make some other noise at the precise moment the villian is close enough to hear.
* Women always stand and watch the cars that are about to run them over, OR the bad-guys that are about to shoot them (even if there's cover close by).
* Strong (character/will) women are always macho, or *****y.
* Women always stuff their fist(s) in their mouths when terrified.
* Women always have to be rescued by the hero, even if they're champion/ expert this or that.
* Women are always too hysterical to do what the hero instructs. He has to elp/force her/knock her out.

WOOD

* Heros and villains can successfully use wood, no matter how thin, as a safe shield against bullets of any caliber.
.

[The Hero]

Well,that'll about do it.

[fireman9586]

guys getting hit in the nuts. i always see it and it gets on my nerves

[Jspider13]

Originally posted by The Hero
Well,that'll about do it.

I know, he just ruined the fun and thought he was doing something useful. :mad:

[Zev]

VILLAINS

There must always be a connection between the hero and the villain, no matter how far apart their lives appear to be.

The villain has always killed the hero's parent/sibling/child/spouse or mentor.

If not, the villain IS the hero's parent/sibling/child/spouse or mentor.

If we ever see the hero working together with another character of roughly the same type, the character will betray our hero to work for the bad guy, but will kill the bad guy in a 'shock' scene and take over before the film is done.

The hero will always give the villain full time to make their "You don't have it in you" speech. He will never interrupt to blow the villain's brains out, but instead will politely wait for someone to interrupt and allow villain to gain the upper hand or for the villain to force his hand.

The villain is 'never worth it.' No matter how many bad things he's done, the hero will always decide that the villain should be punished in accordance with the law.

Once this is done and the hero has achieved full moral superiority, the villain will pull a weapon of some sort, forcing the hero to kill him.

The villain will always have an evil perversion (like incest), or some kind of deformity (which the hero will insult, but we'll still be on his side despite the hero being remarkably insensitive) or be racist/sexist so we 'get' he's the bad guy.

The villain will always have some sort of exotic pet which he uses to demonstrate how badass he is. For instance, a shark tank to drop dopey henchmen into.

The villain will always have one ultra-competent super minion and millions upon millions of incompetent henchmen who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn and are always distracted by the heroine.

If the heroine is an action heroine, the villain will have one evil chick in his employee so that the two women can pound on each other.

The villain will always take ten times as long to kill the hero/heroine as he does to kill anyone else.

The villain will always be either an Evil Businessman, an Evil Military Guy, or an Evil CIA Agent.

The villain will always make the hero an offer to join him, which the hero will always refuse.

If the Villain has any kind of evil project in the works, he will inevitably be destroyed in an ironic twist of fate by the very force he has attempted to harness.

If the villain is a bounty hunter/assassin, no matter how much the hero offers, the villain will never switch sides.

No matter how powerful the villain becomes as a result of obtaining the Ultimate Power, the hero will be able to find a weakness and slap him down.

[Zev]

SIDEKICKS

All female characters have two mandated sidekicks. An incredibly effeminate gay man (usually in a blue shirt with a pink sweater wrapped around their shoulders) and a 'funny' overweight woman who is usually extremely man-hungry (see Catwoman or The Stepford Wives).

The overweight sidekick will always tell the heroine to 'loosen up' and try to set her up on a date. The heroine will always say it's 'too soon' until she finds the 'Right Guy', who will always be the hero,

The gay man will always act in a stereotypical gay manner, including making comments on any attractive male (the hero will always be the most attractive male) so we 'get' that he's gay.

All male characters have one nerdy 'science-stuff' friend. No matter how long they've worked together, the hero will require the science guy to 'speak English' to explain the situation.

Corollary: The situation can always be explained with a very simple metaphor, complete with dramatic visuals from household objects lying around (for instance, in the movie Event Horizon, wormhole travel is designed by pressing a pencil through a folded poster).

The sidekick will always be killed for pathos, usually as soon as the safety of the McGuffin and/or heroine is entrusted to him. The villain will always leave some kind of mocking message to get the hero really steamed. This lets us know that the Really Big action sequence is coming.

If a hero has two female sidekicks, one will be a blonde 'everyday' woman (who somehow looks exactly like a supermodel) who manages to become entangled in the plot for the most ludacrious of reasons (yet will have one skill or line that winds up saving the day). The other will be a competent, professional brunette who possibly once had a relationship with the hero, but is currently uninvolved. This woman will always be a traitor.

The hero will have a mawkishly cute kid sidekick like Shia Lebeof to explain important life lessions to. The kid will always ask the hero a complex question, like where babies come from or why isn't mommy with us anymore? The hero will always stammer and trip over himself (because he's just a regular guy) trying to talk to the kid, who will gaze on innocently.

The kid will always be placed in danger, but will never, ever, under any circumstances be harmed in any way, no matter how evil the villain is.

The kid will always be adopted by the hero and heroine once they get together to form a quasi-family unit.

Kids come in two flavors, incredibly rebellious teenagers who are changed for the better by their experience or impossibly perfect angels.

[WarBlade]

Originally posted by Jspider13
I know, he just ruined the fun and thought he was doing something useful. :mad:
Well you can always pick apart the post in response or even make additions . . .


SCHOOL

* If you're a high school student in a film, you will always get one of the preferable eye-level lockers.

. . . Or highschool students in films have strange metal cabinets they call "lockers" assigned to them for their personal use. Maybe bags in America are small or kids there are too 'McDonalds-ified' to carry their junk or something, but I've never understood that business of personal lockers that seem to make up about 40% of an American movie school's physical structure.
* In all high school or college classrooms, the teacher or professor will always be interrupted in mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
The way I remember it the teacher would always get interrupted in mid-sentence by some smartarse who sometimes wasn't even me. I think this movie cliche exists because paying an actor for a line costs more than ringing a bell.
* In every school, there is at least one nerd or wimp that is shoved into lockers that are big enough to hold them.
Yeah, I've never understood those lockers. A theft of a bag for a game of piggy in the middle is much more realistic.
* High Schools are always either in the middle of a city or a car ride away from the beach.
That's right! Why jump in the bloody car to go to the beach when you can just walk!

[Banky E.]

ummmmm bullet time!

[P. Cushing]

This thread should be sticky.

[StrainedEyes]

The one that annoys me the most, is when a surveillance camera has the ability to cut, pan, zoom in and out, and even be at eye level and follow a person, all without moving from it's little tucked away corner in the ceiling.

[MST3K 4ever]

Originally posted by Deus-Ex-Machina
oh oh we're missing the big one.

The cliche that only Americans were affected in World War 2 :mad:

Good point...or the guy who is getting ready to "ship home tomorrow" will be dead by the end of the movie.

Others:
--When someone is running from a killer...they never get winded.
--Fires that suddenly appear in homes always do so in homes without a smoke detector.
--Whenever someone has to take the controls of a plane they can fly the plane but have no clue on landing it (the notable exceptiion being: "Airplane")
--In Sci-Fi movies most alien cultures know how to speak english.
--If a good guy only has one shot left to do something (whether it is kill the bad guy or blow something up with a bullet)..they will never miss.

:batman:

[SuperFerret]

Worst cliche ever: Every movie will have a song on it's soundtrack, that has nothing to do with the movie, but is included because the performer(s) are/will be/were popular. (i.e. The Hives on the Spider-Man Soundtrack)

[ironmaidenrules]

weird, i thought European schools were the ones with lockers, since i've never seen them in my school, or my brother's school. or my friends's school, or this one school that i had to take my SATs in.

except for gym lockers, but those damn things are like little cabinents, not nerd sized closets

[SuperFerret]

Originally posted by ironmaidenrules
weird, i thought European schools were the ones with lockers, since i've never seen them in my school, or my brother's school. or my friends's school, or this one school that i had to take my SATs in.

except for gym lockers, but those damn things are like little cabinents, not nerd sized closets

Nerds are smaller in the movies.

[ironmaidenrules]

lol...nope, the nerds are still too big for the gym lockers, u can barely fit ur normal clothes in those things

god damnit francis lewis sucked

[the_ultimate_evil]

the good guy always gets the girl. complete bull****

[Everyman]

"* In all high school or college classrooms, the teacher or professor will always be interrupted in mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell."

I will say as well that at the beginning of the scene, the teacher has just started the class, brining up an important concept. Therefore between the beginning of the class and the ringbell, a few minutes only have passed.

[Everyman]

Originally posted by Deus-Ex-Machina
oh oh we're missing the big one.

The cliche that only Americans were affected in World War 2 :mad:

Sometimes it seems that they are the only one to have participated in it.

[Pink Ranger]

-In the big city, about 75% the adult population works in advertising.

-Attractive, successful blonde women who can't get dates (!) will only have friends with bookish, less attractive women (actually, this sometimes true) or else an ethnic minority woman who calls her "girlfriend" alot

-A single family heirloom or collectible item can be sold for enough money to save the family mansion/business or pay for a million-dollar heart operation

-Heterosexual people never use condoms during sex. Gay men don't have sex at all; they just make ironic observations.

-In any office environment or group of friends, there is only one overweight person

-In an American army unit, the African-American guy will be the only man more concerned about his own personal safety than the mission. Asian guys who are soldiers or cops are all 10th degree black belts in an Asian martial art, and will use martial arts, knives or swords instead of their GUNS whenever possible.

-All sexual relationships begin when two people are resting in a hotel room after being pursued by the villains

-Asian and Native American senior citizens always know everything

-All rich boyfriends are cold, distant, mildly abusive bores

-All young, attractive women can become lesbians under a particular set of circumstances.

-Gun-wielding, street-level drug dealers are all essentially honorable men who unexpectedly help the hero in the end

[omegafro2000]

Originally posted by Deus-Ex-Machina
oh oh we're missing the big one.

The cliche that only Americans were affected in World War 2 :mad:

Speaking of war cliches, how about having 1 guy represent an entire minority group in the war.( Cuba Gooding Jr. is the only African American soldier who fought in WWII?)

[Kent]

Originally posted by dmcnx
<snip>

Nothing like a huge cut-and-paste job to make a thread DOA. :o

[Kent]

There are no ugly people. You just need to take your glasses off, change into hip/trendy clothes and get a haircut (plus makeup if you're a girl), and you'll be the best looking guy/girl in history.

[The Hero]

Originally posted by Kent
There are no ugly people. You just need to take your glasses off, change into hip/trendy clothes and get a haircut (plus makeup if you're a girl), and you'll be the best looking guy/girl in history. One of the few things Not Another Teen Movie actualy got right.That movie had so much potential...:(

[reggiebar]

Originally posted by fireman9586
guys getting hit in the nuts. i always see it and it gets on my nerves

No doubt! This trend needs to stop at once. It is really dangerous for a man to get hit there as hard as they do in movies and then laugh it off. It is not funny at all.

[Jspider13]

They always know exactly when to jump right before a big explosion.

[dmcnx]

Originally posted by Kent
Nothing like a huge cut-and-paste job to make a thread DOA. :o

:mad::(

[Pink Ranger]

Originally posted by reggiebar
No doubt! This trend needs to stop at once. It is really dangerous for a man to get hit there as hard as they do in movies and then laugh it off. It is not funny at all.

Unfortunately, that particular gag is something that only men find funny (especially younger men) so we only have ourselves to blame.

[WarBlade]

Originally posted by Deus-Ex-Machina
oh oh we're missing the big one.

The cliche that only Americans were affected in World War 2 :mad:
Yeah, that's a biggie.

- The cliche that only Americans were affected in World War 2. :mad:
- The cliche that Americans were the allied forces' main participant in WWII. :mad:
- The extension of the above that implies WWII events really began around '41. :mad:
- The cliche that Americans single-handedly won the war for everyone. :mad:

[Banky E.]

Hmmmmmmm JLO always dating White men in her movies?

[ultimatefan]

The "trendy" clichés are always the worst...

- People will fight wire-fu even when they don´t possess any special powers...

- The neighbor´s dog will always hump on your leg

- People always declare their love for each other "accidentally" in front of a crowd that cheers wildly, even if they´re causing a major disturbance...

- Sex has no middle-ground. It´s either "feel the Earth shake" great or a disaster.

- If Aliens come to Earth, they´ll be either cute and friendly or nasty invaders, with no shades of gray.

- Mousey girls know martial arts and always kick the asses of guys twice their size.

[Banky E.]

Old people flipping and doing Karate, knowing they would break their backs in real life. Wire Fu is needed for movies like Hero. So I cant hate against Wire-fu if it's a Kung Fu Hong Kong movie.

[Jspider13]

Originally posted by Banky E.
Hmmmmmmm JLO always dating White men in her movies?

HA

[Zev]

Originally posted by Banky E.
Hmmmmmmm JLO always dating White men in her movies?

Julia Stiles always dating black men in her movies?

[LadyVader]

All the bombs have wires sticking out.

[Jspider13]

People never stick together in horrific situations. They always have to split up like idiots.

[Kevin Roegele]

- When an inexperienced but tough woman gets attacked, she will always kick one of her attackers in the balls, and hit one with her bag. Then they overpower her.

- Fat black women are always 'in your face', tough talking, always talking, and take no crap from anyone.

- Robots will have trouble with human emotions and, you know all that 'Pinochio' stuff.

[Lord Valumart]

these are great, they'll be going in to my movie for sure.

[Lord Valumart]

*kids are always slim and like sports, you never see them in comic shops
*the film will al was end with ether a revelation or an unfunny joke thet everyone dies laughing at

[Banky E.]

Women always surviving in horror movies! Oh and Julia stiles only did two movies where she likes a black guy but JLO, A whole lotta movies. Does she want to be white or somthing?

[Lord Valumart]

if these things are all true then all movies are rubbish.

[Banky E.]

I guess so, huh?

[ultimatefan]

- People from minorites will always take offense for no real reason

- A "movie inside a movie" will always suck

- The awkward geek always gets the hot chick in the end

- People who never trained fast driving suddenly drive like professional pilots in a street chase

[StrainedEyes]

Originally posted by Banky E.
Women always surviving in horror movies! Oh and Julia stiles only did two movies where she likes a black guy but JLO, A whole lotta movies. Does she want to be white or somthing?

AGAIN with the racial comments? What is it with you? That seems to be all you talk about.
Should she be dating only spanish people? Is that it? God you're such a freaking idiot.

[Banky E.]

I like your avatar has a whole lotta white guys on it!

[Zev]

Originally posted by Banky E.
I like your avatar has a whole lotta white guys on it!

This is getting out of hand...

[Matt]

Originally posted by dmcnx
SCHOOL

* If you're a high school student in a film, you will always get one of the preferable eye-level lockers.
* In all high school or college classrooms, the teacher or professor will always be interrupted in mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
* In every school, there is at least one nerd or wimp that is shoved into lockers that are big enough to hold them.
* High Schools are always either in the middle of a city or a car ride away from the beach.

SEX

* All beds have a special L-shaped top sheet, which reaches up to armpit level on women but only to waist level on men.
* No-one ever needs a kleenex after sex.
* If you're a woman in a film and have just finished a steamy lovemaking session, make sure to lay back and pull the sheets up to your neck, just like in real life.
* All women moan during sex, but none sweat.
* Women (and men less often) either make love with their underclothes on or have put them back on in the immediate aftermath.
* Two total strangers, upon falling into bed together, will always reach an incredibly intense, mutual, and SIMULTANEOUS orgasm on the first try.

SHOPPING

* When bringing home bags of groceries in a film, it's required that you spill at least one bagful on the kitchen floor.
* Bags of groceries are never heavy.
* Whenever anyone in a movie goes shopping, they always come back with stuff sticking out of the top of the shopping bag, usually carrot tops and French bread.
* Corollary: every shopping bag contains at least one baguette (loaf of french bread).

SIGNALS

* If the tapping sound or flashing light represents morse code, there's always someone around that can interpret the message.
* When Morse Code is used, the interpreter will call out words as they are being sent, rather than letters. Furthermore, a single word is represented by a few "beeps", and all words are sent at the same rate, no matter how long the word is. Example:
beep-beep-be-beep...
"Help..."
be-be-beep beep...
"Us..."
beep-be-be-beep beep...
"We're..."
beep beep-be-beep...
"Surrounded..."
be-beep beep beep...
"Send..."
be-be-be-beep beep...
"Reinforcements..."
beep be-beep beep...
"Hurry..."
etc.
* A message in Morse Code will start several seconds before someone actually interprets it; however, no information is lost, as the message actually begins when the interpreter starts to read it.

SKYDIVING

* You got plenty of time up there, often a couple of minutes.
* You can almost talk casually to all your skydiving friends on the way down.
* If you don't have a parachute, just cling on to someone who has got one and don't let go until you're down.

SMOKING

* Smokers smoke only when there is a romantic or dramatic reason to. At other times the smoker has no need of cigarettes.

SPACE & VACUUM

* Explosions in space make noise
* Exposure to vacuum makes you horribly swell up and/or explode within seconds (ex. "Total Recall", "Outland")
* There's a deep humming in space, no doubt about it.
* Space is not Newtonian; spacecraft can't 'coast', but just stop dead if they run out of fuel or power.
* Laser beams are visible in vacuum.

SPACESHIPS

* Spaceships make noise!
* Spaceships always fly perpendicular to the same axis. When two spacecraft encounter each other, they're always aligned on a plane and never approach at odd angles.
* All spaceships, no matter how small, have internal artifical gravity and no matter how badly your ship gets pummeled by the evil aliens in the evil alien ship, no matter how many external panels get blown away, no matter how many sparks or how much smoke pours out of your control panels, the artificial gravity will always keep working.
* There are tiny cameras mounted everywhere, on every panel, in your spaceship. No matter what happens anywhere int eh ship, you will always be able to ask the computer to replay the scene for you later (even if the computer went up in smoke) and unlike those blurry convenience store cameras, your tiny ship cameras always capture everyone's actions at eye-level with perfect lighting.
* Warp or hyper-drive will always fail at critical moments.
* Inertial dampers will always prevent passengers from being plastered against the walls during acceleration into warp speed, yet any explosion will send passengers reeling across the room.
* In a spaceship battle scene, for a ship to fire a weapon at another, it must be in visual range. Even though the 20th century saw the advent of weapons that can be fired without visual contact, the people of the future have lost this technology.

SPORTS

* In any type of sport movie, a player on the field can look up into a crowd of 1 billion and immediately spot their loved one.

STAIRS

* Whenever anyone is chased to a staircase, s/he will run upstairs rather than down.

SUSPENSE

* In any movie where "something" has happened and villagers come to look at it, they always decide to "go for help". The most expendable member of the group is left to "keep an eye on it", and supplied with a weapon or signaling device "in case something happens". Said member ALWAYS responds: "What could happen?" This is a certain signal that he will die, gruesomely, within 2 minutes.

TEENAGERS

* The walls of a teenager's bedroom or a twentyish adult's apartment are always highly decorated, beyond anything sane, with every available inch of space covered with something cool.
* A movie teenager will always have a drainpipe situated next to his or her window. This drainpipe will be specially reinforced to hold their weight on escape.

TIME

* Movie timing is always exact. If a phone trace will take two minutes, for example, you can be sure that that means 120 seconds, not a fraction more or less. Same for bombs, amount of time to get to a destination, etc.
* Corollary to the above: all characters in a movie have their watches perfectly synchronized.

TRAFFIC

* When a main character has to cross the street (in one of the slower parts of the movie), he/she can always cross the street immediately. Of course, he/she jogs across in order to miss the one car that drives by after they cross.
* If there is traffic, then that means that the movie is at a more intense part (like a chase scene) in which case there are a lot of cars that crash into each other. None of the important characters get hurt, the accident is never heard on the news, and nobody sues anybody important. Very few people even get out of their cars, and yet, no airbags are to be seen.

TRAVEL

* Transportation always arrives and leaves on time.
* Characters arrive at the airport and get *right on the plane*. They must have the best timing of any people on Earth - I always have wait around for a while before boarding. (Not to mention getting a boarding pass and the "arrive 15 minutes before departure or you lose your seat" clause of most airlines. Good thing movie airlines never overbook!)
* Movie characters' suitcases are always weightless when they have to carry them.
* In emergencies, anyone can pick up flying a helicopter.
* Movie characters never suffer from motion sickness.

TREES

* Whichever tree branch the hero has perched on, the villain will invariably pause under.

VILLAINS

* The bad guy is the foreigner.
* Corollary: the foreigner is the guy who speaks English with an English accent
* The bad guy also has a side-kick muscleman, who has some sort of trademark gimmick that he/she uses to eliminate opponents. You must kill or decomission this muscleman by forcing a backfiring of this trademarked gimmick. If the muscleman dispatched by a different method, he/she is not dead. (For that matter, don't assume that anyone is dead unless their death was spectacular. Beware sequels.)
* No matter how dead you think you've killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least 3 more times. Therefore, always make sure to leave his gun in or near his hand after you've killed him and you turn away to comfort the girl.
* When a villain seems dead, he never is. He will always be allowed one, and sometimes two resurrections. The hero will frequently see him coming, even if his back is turned. If he doesn't, a friend will finish the villain off.
* The bad guy usually kills his henchman for failing, yet don't seem to run out of loyal henchmen.
* Bad guys lurk until their presence is revealed by a flash of lightning.
* You can kill the bad guy by taking careful note of any object that the camera has lingered on for an unnecessarly length of time; typically this is something like a meathook or a jagged bit of glass. You will be involved in a mighty struggle, and at the appropriate time you can become inspired (usually by either an insult from the bad guy or a look of faith from your love interest) with strength enough to force the bad guy into/onto/under/in front of the aforementioned object. Actor's Equity (Hollywood) requires that within 15 seconds either side of the bad guy's demise, you utter your trademark phrase.
* Whenever a villian has captured the hero, he will pause for 5 minutes to tell the hero _every_ detail of his plan to destroy and/or rule the earth, including times, dates, and addresses.
* The bad guy, having finally gotten the good guy into his clutches, will usually spend a few meglomaniac minutes gloating over his victory and his opponent's downfall. This increment of time will prove just enough to allow the good guy to figure a way out of his predicament, or just long enough to allow a rescue attempt.
* The bad guy, instead of simply offing the captured good guy on the spot, will devise some sort of drawn-out, fiendishly clever method of execution that will take enough time to allow the good guy to figure out his escape.
* When a villain seems dead, he never is. He will always be allowed one, and sometimes two resurrections. The hero will frequently see him coming, even if his back is turned. If he doesn't, a friend will finish the villain off.
* You can always tell which nationality the United States and the popular media are currently most unhappy with because that nation sends all their villains to star in Hollywood movies during those times (e.g. Germans in the late 40's and 50's, Asians in the 60's and 70's, Soviets in the 70's and 80's and Middle Easterners in the 90's).

WEAPONS

* Major characters never run out of ammunition, nor do they ever have to reload. (If the movie _does_ make them reload, they never have to actually carry any spare ammo until that scene)
* Guns never run out of ammunition unless escape would be otherwise impossible.
* The first shot or burst of fire from a bad guy _always_ misses, and is there just to announce that a fight will be taking place.
* Bad-guy hand grenades make noise and smoke, but no real damage; good-guy hand grenades are devastating but selective; they will destroy tanks, but won't hurt the thrower, even if he drops one on his toe. Bad-guy grenades used by good guys become good-guy grenades, and _vice versa_.
* When the villain runs out of bullets, he'll throw away his gun. When the hero does so, he'll conveniently come across another.
* Machine guns submerged underwater for a long time won't jam or misfire when the hero pops up to use them. (see any Rambo movie)
* A cigarette case/lighter in the shirt pocket will always block the bullet.
* When the hero faces a ridiculously large number of shooters with high powered weapons, they will all miss after several shots. Then, the hero will pulls out this gun that looks like a toy and start picking off the bad guys from half a mile away, usually hitting them in the forehead.
* People always pump out a few (probably used) shotgun shells at each corner when chasing someone.
* When people aim a rifle with binocular-sight at someone on a very long distance, they manage to keep them in the bull's-eye all the time even if they move around.
* When faced with dozens of armed opponents, the good guy will show up and appear to be shot, perhaps dozens of times. He will fall down, and presumably be dead, but will later miraculously turn out to have had the foresight to wear a bulletproof vest, armor plating, or even a silver tray to protect his torso (Batman). No one will ever shoot him in the head, where he is unprotected. Afterwards, instead of learning from his extremely good fortune, he throws his protection away, confident that the same situation cannot recur in his movie.
* When superheroes like Batman or Robocop use high technology to protect themselves, the bad guys never take advantage of obvious weaknesses, such as no face protection.
* Characters shot with guns will fly backward, or upward and backward, through the air - the laws of physics notwithstanding.
* Characters use silencers on revolvers... and it works.
* In 50% of action movies made after 1988, "Teflon Coated Cop Killer Bullets" will be referred to.
* No movie character will ever use or refer to a safety on any firearm.
* No movie character will ever use a .22-caliber weapon.
* The cowboy who exchanges a dozen shots with the bad guys without hitting one will nevertheless be able to hit and detonate a stick of dynamite from 150 feet away with a revolver on the first try.
* Once a character has flipped up the long range site on his rifle, he will always make his next shot.
* Bullets removed from shooting victims and displayed to the camera will not be misshapen in any way from the impact - and will sometimes still have the casing attached.
* Shots fired at the rear of a vehicle will cause the gas tank to explode.
* Shots fired at windshields never deflect; they always penetrate and hit the bad guy in the forehead. If the good guy is driving, he'll simply have to duck a little to avoid them.
* Shots fired at guys hiding around corners never whiz past; they always strike the edge of the building near the character's face.
* Shots fired in Westerns that do not hit a character always ricochet loudly.
* If there is a trough of water present in a Western gunfight scene, at least one shot will splash spectacularly in the water.
* Western characters are never shot in the legs while hiding behind wagons.
* No gun will ever jam or misfire after a quick-draw.
* In a duel or in a gunfight between two characters standing in a street, at least one charcter is always hit on the first exchange of gunfire.
* No debris will ever fall from a ceiling after a gun is fired upward into it.
* Shurrikens and thrown knives never miss, unless they pin a character's clothing to a wall or tree.
* Horses are never wounded in horseback gunfights.
* Assassins will always wait 'till the very last moment to assemble their complex sniper weapon (often a pistol the size of a rifle).
* Even weapons experts will freeze when confronted with a weapon which is not in firing condition-ie an un-cocked single action revolver or a submachine gun with its breech closed (also un-cocked). The person holding the gun must make several moves to fire the gun, and the adversary could just reach out and take the weapon, but the dropee just freezes even though often it is obvious that the cylinder is devoid of any ammo.
* Movie gunmen never lock and load their weapons when anticipating a life-or-death confrontation. Oh they have their weapons drawn, but not charged with a round in the chamber. They usually (always when carrying a pump-action shotgun) wait until they confront their quarry to slam a round into the chamber with a dramatic ca-chunking noise.
* Bullets, even though they are only pieces of lead-sometimes encased in copper, always make little explosions when they strike any kind of inanimate object.
* Photos of loved ones, religous medals, and bibles can stop bullets better than a bullet proof vest.
* All sub machine guns sound alike and have the same rate of fire
* NEW requirement: all automatic pistols must be held sideways in order to be fired.
* If you are a cowboy, aiming your rifle while using your horse as a support will always assure a first round hit.
* All aautomatic weapons must be cocked in order to be fired, but bolt action weapons can fire two or three times without being cocked!
* You can never un-jam a weapon by just pulling back the bolt and rechambering another round, 'though that will work 99 times out of 100 in real life.

WOMEN

* Women will always have shaved legs and armpits, even in caveman movies.
* Women will be worrying about their nails or dresses while people are trying to kill them. (see also CHASES)
* Women stand wide-eyed, hand to mouth, while hero battles villain. Women never thinks to clonk villain with handy object. Counterpoint: If woman does clonk, she always hits hero instead.
* Women always fight other movie women by pulling hair, falling to ground together, rolling over twice.
* High-powered female executives always wear miniskirts and five-inch heels to work
* Beautiful women will always fawn over an action hero, no matter what sexist remarks he makes to them.
* A female lead with feminist leanings will always despise a macho hero--until the first time he rescues her from certain death. She will then become totally conventional and dependent. Once she does this, the hero will become vulnerable and tell her about some tragic loss that will explain his belligerent attitude.
* Women wear make-up to bed, and wake up with hair and face completely intact.
* Women don't need to go to the bathroom when they get up but will shower frequently.
* If a woman is pregnant, she will deliver before the movie ends.
* Women also scream or make some other noise at the precise moment the villian is close enough to hear.
* Women always stand and watch the cars that are about to run them over, OR the bad-guys that are about to shoot them (even if there's cover close by).
* Strong (character/will) women are always macho, or *****y.
* Women always stuff their fist(s) in their mouths when terrified.
* Women always have to be rescued by the hero, even if they're champion/ expert this or that.
* Women are always too hysterical to do what the hero instructs. He has to elp/force her/knock her out.

WOOD

* Heros and villains can successfully use wood, no matter how thin, as a safe shield against bullets of any caliber.
.

Well....you COULD post all that...or you would could give the easy, short answer...

"Anything in a Paul Anderson movie"

[Rasputin]

Christ Matt, snip it out. You're brekaing my balls here.:mad:

[Olivier]

Great list.

Two more clichés / mistakes / movie physics trivia:

- If a character has a portable camera to communicate, the thing always shoots the character in impossible poses, and ithout shaking-- ex: a wrist camera showing the character moving around

- Gold is practically weightless. Latest instance: Hellboy-- Hilda (was that her name?) carries around a case full of gold bars and easily lifts its and holds it on one arm to show the guide.

[the_ultimate_evil]

Originally posted by ultimatefan
[B
- A "movie inside a movie" will always suck
[/B]


new nightmare was good:mad:

[Jspider13]

Originally posted by ultimatefan

- A "movie inside a movie" will always suck


I tend to find those really cool!

[Obi-Ron]

People using computers will say aloud what they are typing (yes, I did it when I was typing this!)

[Hyper Venom]

-No matter how much fighting you've been doing, or how badly you've been beaten up, or what physical trials you've been forced to endure, if, after all of this, you are forced to lift an impossibly heavy object in order to save a friend's life, you are never too tired to do so (ex. Lethal Weapon 4, Spider-Man 2).
-More often than not, a sequel to a movie will take place two years after the original. The only constant exception to this rule is if the original and sequel were filmed at the same time (Lord of the Rings films, Matrix 2 and 3, Kill Bill 1 and 2).
-If you know martial arts of any sort, you can take down an unlimited number of armed assailants (Kill Bill).
-If a superhero is wounded and begins bleeding, and then police descend upon the crime scene after the fight, they will never take samples of his blood in order to deduce his identity (Daredevil).
-No matter how much destruction they cause or how many innocent people they kill, rampaging monsters are simply misunderstood and should be pitied (Godzilla).
-In most cases, a rampaging monster that's based on an animal can never be normal sized. It has to be humungous (Eight Legged Freaks).
-In Western movies, the trusty Black sidekick WILL die.
-If the hero's love interest is a warrior like he is, she will die.
-After the aforementioned hero's love interest dies, she will leave him a clue hinting that she may be alive, such as a family heirloom or piece of jewelry, rather than simply calling and saying, "Hey, I'm alive".
-No villain will ever discover a superhero's identity and live to tell the tale. The exception to this rule is Daredevil.
-The sympathetic villain with the horrific childhood will end up committing suicide in spectacular fashion, which will truamatize the hero.
-No matter how many people the hero kills to get to his ultimate goal, s/he will not be pursued by any law enforcement (Kill Bill).
-Whenever a demon/Satan comes to earth, he will always be disguised as a slightly older white man with black hair who has large sums of money. When he reveals his true self, he'll be twenty feet tall and look shockingly similar to Malebolgia from Spawn (End of Days).
-No matter how many times a man and a woman have unprotected sex, the woman will never become impregnated. The exception to this rule is if they are married.

[SHABLEIK]

the ending credits are the most cliche thing I've seen in a movie, it feels like every movie has them

[Joker]

Originally posted by ultimatefan
- A "movie inside a movie" will always suck



have you never seen Get Shorty?...also, on the whole locker thing, my school had only 6 foot tall lockers that you could shove small guys into if you really wanted to...I think one of my friends climbed into one once just to prove it was possible :o

[The Hero]

-Girls never have periods,and if they do,all this results in is them being in a bad mood.

[GunBlade]

- Every punch/slap to the face will always result to a bloody nose.

- Females, preferably hot, in slasher/horror movies ALWAYS have to get wet somehow. OR lose a type of clothing.

- Superheroes, after a vicious beating end up winning.

- All cheerleaders and football quaterbacks are good looking.

[The Hero]

-All lesbians,if rightly persuaded,will have sex with a guy.

[Zev]

I'd get into Daredevil, but I don't have all day. ;)


All racists, sexists, and otherwise prejudiced people are always dumb, backwaters *******s.

[GunBlade]

- During a slow mo, one must take the bullet trying to save another.

- A great hero must die tragically.

- When a killer is after a victim, he or she will trip.

[Hyper Venom]

If a woman is blonde and being pursued by the killer in a slasher movie, she WILL die.

[Mara Jade]

"I'll be right back." hahahahahahaha


that never happens

[Matt]

A cop slamming his badge onto the Lt's desk.

[omegafro2000]

Originally posted by Zev

All racists, sexists, and otherwise prejudiced people are always dumb, backwaters *******s.

You mean they aren't in real life?:eek: :D

[Jspider13]

School principles are always portrayed as di<ks.

[Zev]

Originally posted by omegafro2000
You mean they aren't in real life?:eek: :D

A lot of people wish it to be so, but even that smartly-dressed corporate raider may bave a misogynistic tendency of 'Well, she's just a GIRL, she might not be able to handle the responsibility.' Or even (GASP!) a young attractive white liberal living in a studio apartment might not like black people! (real life)

Lesbians are always lesbians because they were raped and hate men. (God, too many to count)

Gay men are always extremely flamboyant. You will NEVER meet a character who just HAPPENS to be gay. (Even more to count)

In medieval times, the heroes always wear loinclothes and bikinis into battle, despite the obviously lack of protection and exposure this offers. (Conan, any other swords and sandals movie, especially those from Italy)

People never go into science because they like it or are good at it, but instead because of some personal trauma. Hell, NOBODY ever goes into any career field because they like it or are good at it, it's always a personal trauma ("My father was the best damn lifeguard on this beach and I'm going to prove I'm worthy of his name!"). (any sci-fi movie)

Movie Scientists will never ever conduct a moral experiment in a legal setting. You can have one, but not the other. (any sci-fi movie)

The villain is rarely pure evil. He's usually insane or misunderstood (for a particularly flagrant example of this rule, see Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula).

Any gun battle must feature slo-mo, lots of decor being destroyed, and one character using a pistol in each hand. (The Matrix, Underworld, any John Woo movie)

If a part of your body is sliced off by a sword, it will take some time for gravity to realize this and for the amputed flesh to fall off. This is particularly true in the case of your head. However, limbs will fly off immediately. (Underworld, Resident Evil)

Bullets are incapable of travelling through any material, no matter how thin (hence, anything can serve as 'cover'). If you hold out a sheet of paper in front of you and run out into a gunfight, you're not only survive, but a ricochet will probably wound or kill the bad guy. (any action movie)

It is remarkably easy to shoot a gun out of someone's hand without doing any more damage to the would-be shooter then a sharp pain. They won't even requires bandages. In addition, the gun can be picked up and used without any faults. (any Western)

There is never a peaceful solution. If there is, it can only be reached AFTER you've managed to kill the bad guy or his cool lieutenant. In the latter case the bad guy will then be punished by his own government/organization to show that they're really nice guys and we can get along. (The Sum of All Fears, Star Trek 6)

Any romantic scene between a civilian and a hero in an action movie will be interrupted by the hero having to 'go to work'. He will never, ever say "Well, that's great, why don't you try XX?" and hang-up. (any James Bond movie)

If you and your opponent are aiming handguns at each others' heads at point blank range, don't worry. You're both going to get out of their okay. (any John Woo movie)

Kids are always, ALWAYS smarter then adults and will save the world while the adults are trying to sort their ass from their elbows. (Harry Potter, Spy Kids, Thunderbirds, Jurassic Park, Agent Cody Banks, and many more.)

[Metamorpho1977]

don't forget the slow motion cocky group walk into the camera. The Right Stuff, several other movies.

[PoppaRotzi]

Movie trailers are cliche ridden. Most trailers, especially action films, always end with some climatic shot from the movie, followed by announcer's voice, follwed by a list of credits flashed on for about 4 seconds at the longest, followed by one last quick action shot or funny quip from the film (think Catwoman cracking that whip at the end of the trailer!) Good Lord, this formula is overdone to the point where it induces vomiting.

[Icewoman]

Originally posted by dmcnx
SCHOOL

* If you're a high school student in a film, you will always get one of the preferable eye-level lockers.
* In all high school or college classrooms, the teacher or professor will always be interrupted in mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
* In every school, there is at least one nerd or wimp that is shoved into lockers that are big enough to hold them.
* High Schools are always either in the middle of a city or a car ride away from the beach.

SEX

* All beds have a special L-shaped top sheet, which reaches up to armpit level on women but only to waist level on men.
* No-one ever needs a kleenex after sex.
* If you're a woman in a film and have just finished a steamy lovemaking session, make sure to lay back and pull the sheets up to your neck, just like in real life.
* All women moan during sex, but none sweat.
* Women (and men less often) either make love with their underclothes on or have put them back on in the immediate aftermath.
* Two total strangers, upon falling into bed together, will always reach an incredibly intense, mutual, and SIMULTANEOUS orgasm on the first try.

SHOPPING

* When bringing home bags of groceries in a film, it's required that you spill at least one bagful on the kitchen floor.
* Bags of groceries are never heavy.
* Whenever anyone in a movie goes shopping, they always come back with stuff sticking out of the top of the shopping bag, usually carrot tops and French bread.
* Corollary: every shopping bag contains at least one baguette (loaf of french bread).

SIGNALS

* If the tapping sound or flashing light represents morse code, there's always someone around that can interpret the message.
* When Morse Code is used, the interpreter will call out words as they are being sent, rather than letters. Furthermore, a single word is represented by a few "beeps", and all words are sent at the same rate, no matter how long the word is. Example:
beep-beep-be-beep...
"Help..."
be-be-beep beep...
"Us..."
beep-be-be-beep beep...
"We're..."
beep beep-be-beep...
"Surrounded..."
be-beep beep beep...
"Send..."
be-be-be-beep beep...
"Reinforcements..."
beep be-beep beep...
"Hurry..."
etc.
* A message in Morse Code will start several seconds before someone actually interprets it; however, no information is lost, as the message actually begins when the interpreter starts to read it.

SKYDIVING

* You got plenty of time up there, often a couple of minutes.
* You can almost talk casually to all your skydiving friends on the way down.
* If you don't have a parachute, just cling on to someone who has got one and don't let go until you're down.

SMOKING

* Smokers smoke only when there is a romantic or dramatic reason to. At other times the smoker has no need of cigarettes.

SPACE & VACUUM

* Explosions in space make noise
* Exposure to vacuum makes you horribly swell up and/or explode within seconds (ex. "Total Recall", "Outland")
* There's a deep humming in space, no doubt about it.
* Space is not Newtonian; spacecraft can't 'coast', but just stop dead if they run out of fuel or power.
* Laser beams are visible in vacuum.

SPACESHIPS

* Spaceships make noise!
* Spaceships always fly perpendicular to the same axis. When two spacecraft encounter each other, they're always aligned on a plane and never approach at odd angles.
* All spaceships, no matter how small, have internal artifical gravity and no matter how badly your ship gets pummeled by the evil aliens in the evil alien ship, no matter how many external panels get blown away, no matter how many sparks or how much smoke pours out of your control panels, the artificial gravity will always keep working.
* There are tiny cameras mounted everywhere, on every panel, in your spaceship. No matter what happens anywhere int eh ship, you will always be able to ask the computer to replay the scene for you later (even if the computer went up in smoke) and unlike those blurry convenience store cameras, your tiny ship cameras always capture everyone's actions at eye-level with perfect lighting.
* Warp or hyper-drive will always fail at critical moments.
* Inertial dampers will always prevent passengers from being plastered against the walls during acceleration into warp speed, yet any explosion will send passengers reeling across the room.
* In a spaceship battle scene, for a ship to fire a weapon at another, it must be in visual range. Even though the 20th century saw the advent of weapons that can be fired without visual contact, the people of the future have lost this technology.

SPORTS

* In any type of sport movie, a player on the field can look up into a crowd of 1 billion and immediately spot their loved one.

STAIRS

* Whenever anyone is chased to a staircase, s/he will run upstairs rather than down.

SUSPENSE

* In any movie where "something" has happened and villagers come to look at it, they always decide to "go for help". The most expendable member of the group is left to "keep an eye on it", and supplied with a weapon or signaling device "in case something happens". Said member ALWAYS responds: "What could happen?" This is a certain signal that he will die, gruesomely, within 2 minutes.

TEENAGERS

* The walls of a teenager's bedroom or a twentyish adult's apartment are always highly decorated, beyond anything sane, with every available inch of space covered with something cool.
* A movie teenager will always have a drainpipe situated next to his or her window. This drainpipe will be specially reinforced to hold their weight on escape.

TIME

* Movie timing is always exact. If a phone trace will take two minutes, for example, you can be sure that that means 120 seconds, not a fraction more or less. Same for bombs, amount of time to get to a destination, etc.
* Corollary to the above: all characters in a movie have their watches perfectly synchronized.

TRAFFIC

* When a main character has to cross the street (in one of the slower parts of the movie), he/she can always cross the street immediately. Of course, he/she jogs across in order to miss the one car that drives by after they cross.
* If there is traffic, then that means that the movie is at a more intense part (like a chase scene) in which case there are a lot of cars that crash into each other. None of the important characters get hurt, the accident is never heard on the news, and nobody sues anybody important. Very few people even get out of their cars, and yet, no airbags are to be seen.

TRAVEL

* Transportation always arrives and leaves on time.
* Characters arrive at the airport and get *right on the plane*. They must have the best timing of any people on Earth - I always have wait around for a while before boarding. (Not to mention getting a boarding pass and the "arrive 15 minutes before departure or you lose your seat" clause of most airlines. Good thing movie airlines never overbook!)
* Movie characters' suitcases are always weightless when they have to carry them.
* In emergencies, anyone can pick up flying a helicopter.
* Movie characters never suffer from motion sickness.

TREES

* Whichever tree branch the hero has perched on, the villain will invariably pause under.

VILLAINS

* The bad guy is the foreigner.
* Corollary: the foreigner is the guy who speaks English with an English accent
* The bad guy also has a side-kick muscleman, who has some sort of trademark gimmick that he/she uses to eliminate opponents. You must kill or decomission this muscleman by forcing a backfiring of this trademarked gimmick. If the muscleman dispatched by a different method, he/she is not dead. (For that matter, don't assume that anyone is dead unless their death was spectacular. Beware sequels.)
* No matter how dead you think you've killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least 3 more times. Therefore, always make sure to leave his gun in or near his hand after you've killed him and you turn away to comfort the girl.
* When a villain seems dead, he never is. He will always be allowed one, and sometimes two resurrections. The hero will frequently see him coming, even if his back is turned. If he doesn't, a friend will finish the villain off.
* The bad guy usually kills his henchman for failing, yet don't seem to run out of loyal henchmen.
* Bad guys lurk until their presence is revealed by a flash of lightning.
* You can kill the bad guy by taking careful note of any object that the camera has lingered on for an unnecessarly length of time; typically this is something like a meathook or a jagged bit of glass. You will be involved in a mighty struggle, and at the appropriate time you can become inspired (usually by either an insult from the bad guy or a look of faith from your love interest) with strength enough to force the bad guy into/onto/under/in front of the aforementioned object. Actor's Equity (Hollywood) requires that within 15 seconds either side of the bad guy's demise, you utter your trademark phrase.
* Whenever a villian has captured the hero, he will pause for 5 minutes to tell the hero _every_ detail of his plan to destroy and/or rule the earth, including times, dates, and addresses.
* The bad guy, having finally gotten the good guy into his clutches, will usually spend a few meglomaniac minutes gloating over his victory and his opponent's downfall. This increment of time will prove just enough to allow the good guy to figure a way out of his predicament, or just long enough to allow a rescue attempt.
* The bad guy, instead of simply offing the captured good guy on the spot, will devise some sort of drawn-out, fiendishly clever method of execution that will take enough time to allow the good guy to figure out his escape.
* When a villain seems dead, he never is. He will always be allowed one, and sometimes two resurrections. The hero will frequently see him coming, even if his back is turned. If he doesn't, a friend will finish the villain off.
* You can always tell which nationality the United States and the popular media are currently most unhappy with because that nation sends all their villains to star in Hollywood movies during those times (e.g. Germans in the late 40's and 50's, Asians in the 60's and 70's, Soviets in the 70's and 80's and Middle Easterners in the 90's).

WEAPONS

* Major characters never run out of ammunition, nor do they ever have to reload. (If the movie _does_ make them reload, they never have to actually carry any spare ammo until that scene)
* Guns never run out of ammunition unless escape would be otherwise impossible.
* The first shot or burst of fire from a bad guy _always_ misses, and is there just to announce that a fight will be taking place.
* Bad-guy hand grenades make noise and smoke, but no real damage; good-guy hand grenades are devastating but selective; they will destroy tanks, but won't hurt the thrower, even if he drops one on his toe. Bad-guy grenades used by good guys become good-guy grenades, and _vice versa_.
* When the villain runs out of bullets, he'll throw away his gun. When the hero does so, he'll conveniently come across another.
* Machine guns submerged underwater for a long time won't jam or misfire when the hero pops up to use them. (see any Rambo movie)
* A cigarette case/lighter in the shirt pocket will always block the bullet.
* When the hero faces a ridiculously large number of shooters with high powered weapons, they will all miss after several shots. Then, the hero will pulls out this gun that looks like a toy and start picking off the bad guys from half a mile away, usually hitting them in the forehead.
* People always pump out a few (probably used) shotgun shells at each corner when chasing someone.
* When people aim a rifle with binocular-sight at someone on a very long distance, they manage to keep them in the bull's-eye all the time even if they move around.
* When faced with dozens of armed opponents, the good guy will show up and appear to be shot, perhaps dozens of times. He will fall down, and presumably be dead, but will later miraculously turn out to have had the foresight to wear a bulletproof vest, armor plating, or even a silver tray to protect his torso (Batman). No one will ever shoot him in the head, where he is unprotected. Afterwards, instead of learning from his extremely good fortune, he throws his protection away, confident that the same situation cannot recur in his movie.
* When superheroes like Batman or Robocop use high technology to protect themselves, the bad guys never take advantage of obvious weaknesses, such as no face protection.
* Characters shot with guns will fly backward, or upward and backward, through the air - the laws of physics notwithstanding.
* Characters use silencers on revolvers... and it works.
* In 50% of action movies made after 1988, "Teflon Coated Cop Killer Bullets" will be referred to.
* No movie character will ever use or refer to a safety on any firearm.
* No movie character will ever use a .22-caliber weapon.
* The cowboy who exchanges a dozen shots with the bad guys without hitting one will nevertheless be able to hit and detonate a stick of dynamite from 150 feet away with a revolver on the first try.
* Once a character has flipped up the long range site on his rifle, he will always make his next shot.
* Bullets removed from shooting victims and displayed to the camera will not be misshapen in any way from the impact - and will sometimes still have the casing attached.
* Shots fired at the rear of a vehicle will cause the gas tank to explode.
* Shots fired at windshields never deflect; they always penetrate and hit the bad guy in the forehead. If the good guy is driving, he'll simply have to duck a little to avoid them.
* Shots fired at guys hiding around corners never whiz past; they always strike the edge of the building near the character's face.
* Shots fired in Westerns that do not hit a character always ricochet loudly.
* If there is a trough of water present in a Western gunfight scene, at least one shot will splash spectacularly in the water.
* Western characters are never shot in the legs while hiding behind wagons.
* No gun will ever jam or misfire after a quick-draw.
* In a duel or in a gunfight between two characters standing in a street, at least one charcter is always hit on the first exchange of gunfire.
* No debris will ever fall from a ceiling after a gun is fired upward into it.
* Shurrikens and thrown knives never miss, unless they pin a character's clothing to a wall or tree.
* Horses are never wounded in horseback gunfights.
* Assassins will always wait 'till the very last moment to assemble their complex sniper weapon (often a pistol the size of a rifle).
* Even weapons experts will freeze when confronted with a weapon which is not in firing condition-ie an un-cocked single action revolver or a submachine gun with its breech closed (also un-cocked). The person holding the gun must make several moves to fire the gun, and the adversary could just reach out and take the weapon, but the dropee just freezes even though often it is obvious that the cylinder is devoid of any ammo.
* Movie gunmen never lock and load their weapons when anticipating a life-or-death confrontation. Oh they have their weapons drawn, but not charged with a round in the chamber. They usually (always when carrying a pump-action shotgun) wait until they confront their quarry to slam a round into the chamber with a dramatic ca-chunking noise.
* Bullets, even though they are only pieces of lead-sometimes encased in copper, always make little explosions when they strike any kind of inanimate object.
* Photos of loved ones, religous medals, and bibles can stop bullets better than a bullet proof vest.
* All sub machine guns sound alike and have the same rate of fire
* NEW requirement: all automatic pistols must be held sideways in order to be fired.
* If you are a cowboy, aiming your rifle while using your horse as a support will always assure a first round hit.
* All aautomatic weapons must be cocked in order to be fired, but bolt action weapons can fire two or three times without being cocked!
* You can never un-jam a weapon by just pulling back the bolt and rechambering another round, 'though that will work 99 times out of 100 in real life.

WOMEN

* Women will always have shaved legs and armpits, even in caveman movies.
* Women will be worrying about their nails or dresses while people are trying to kill them. (see also CHASES)
* Women stand wide-eyed, hand to mouth, while hero battles villain. Women never thinks to clonk villain with handy object. Counterpoint: If woman does clonk, she always hits hero instead.
* Women always fight other movie women by pulling hair, falling to ground together, rolling over twice.
* High-powered female executives always wear miniskirts and five-inch heels to work
* Beautiful women will always fawn over an action hero, no matter what sexist remarks he makes to them.
* A female lead with feminist leanings will always despise a macho hero--until the first time he rescues her from certain death. She will then become totally conventional and dependent. Once she does this, the hero will become vulnerable and tell her about some tragic loss that will explain his belligerent attitude.
* Women wear make-up to bed, and wake up with hair and face completely intact.
* Women don't need to go to the bathroom when they get up but will shower frequently.
* If a woman is pregnant, she will deliver before the movie ends.
* Women also scream or make some other noise at the precise moment the villian is close enough to hear.
* Women always stand and watch the cars that are about to run them over, OR the bad-guys that are about to shoot them (even if there's cover close by).
* Strong (character/will) women are always macho, or *****y.
* Women always stuff their fist(s) in their mouths when terrified.
* Women always have to be rescued by the hero, even if they're champion/ expert this or that.
* Women are always too hysterical to do what the hero instructs. He has to elp/force her/knock her out.

WOOD

* Heros and villains can successfully use wood, no matter how thin, as a safe shield against bullets of any caliber.
.

WOW!!! This was interesting. :) Thanks for being so on the money about it.

[The Hero]

-Everyone who is molested uses it as a motivation to become either an insane villian or courageous hero.
Sidenote:.The only way to ever come to terms with being molested is A. Killing whoever is responsible,or B. Somehow saving another child from a similar situation.

[Jspider13]

Roomates in college dorms will never share the same interests. One will always be the one who does drugs, gets laid, and doesn't give a damn about the rules, while the other one tries to follow them.

[Zev]

In any team, there will always be one dumbass/horndog. He will be white and male so as not to offend anyone but white men (Justice League, Captain Planet, etc).

[Zev]

In any martial arts movie, the hero or villain will never, ever be brought down by that handy-dandy little thing called gunpowder.

Everyone has a long-lost brother that they will have to team-up with, unless the brother happens to be the villain, in which case it will be their responsibility to kill him or die nobly at his hands.

No matter how patriotic or professional a team is, there is ALWAYS one traitor in their ranks.

Any film with Mr. T will automatically be good.

[Jspider13]

Cops are always horrible shots.

[SHABLEIK]

Originally posted by Jspider13
Cops are always horrible shots.

And in the future so are Storm Troopers

[Max Shrek]

Originally posted by Jspider13
School principles are always portrayed as di<ks.

That's not a movie cliche. Thta's reality.:D

[SHABLEIK]

Originally posted by Max Shrek
That's not a movie cliche. Thta's reality.:D

that's not true, I remember when I was in school my principals were..........................ok yeah your right, carry on

[Zev]

Whenever you knock out a bad guy and steal their uniform, it will always fit as if professionally-tailored for you.

[SHABLEIK]

Originally posted by Zev
Whenever you knock out a bad guy and steal their uniform, it will always fit as if professionally-tailored for you.

that's not a cliche that's true, why I remember the first soviet spy I knocked out, the sleeves were a little long but everything else fit like a glove like always

[Rasputin]

Originally posted by Zev
Whenever you knock out a bad guy and steal their uniform, it will always fit as if professionally-tailored for you. Not Indiana Jones and John McClane! The Greatest heroes of them all!

[Zev]

Originally posted by Rasputin
Not Indiana Jones and John McClane! The Greatest heroes of them all!

Jones got by eventually, McClane only needed shoes. Hardly the same thing.

[Rasputin]

Originally posted by Zev
Jones got by eventually, McClane only needed shoes. Hardly the same thing. You're right about JOnes, that slipped by me. But Shoes are pretty important when you're walking over broken glass.

[Zev]

Originally posted by Rasputin
You're right about JOnes, that slipped by me. But Shoes are pretty important when you're walking over broken glass.

But it wasn't like he was disguising himself as a terrorist, he was just trying to take some shoes.

[Rasputin]

He's still stealing Clothes, I think that's well within the paramaters.

[Zev]

Look, I put in the cliche in the first place, I think I KNOW the parameters...

[Rasputin]

Arrogant animal:mad:

[gazi]

The Stupid Slow Clap to Celebrate the Underdog.

For Example:
- End of Scent of a Woman
- End of Star Trek the Undiscovered Country
- End of most cheesy movies.

Any Others?

[Jspider13]

Large amounts of cash is always carried in briefcases.

[Zev]

Originally posted by Jspider13
Large amounts of cash is always carried in briefcases.

And always METAL briefcases. Since they look so COOL.

[Jspider13]

Originally posted by Zev
And always METAL briefcases. Since they look so COOL.

:cool: <---

That cool?

[Spidey-Bat]

1980's comedies always have a cheesy love story with the main character. Examples include Caddyshack and Major League.

[Sarge]

villians will usually always fall to their deaths from some sort of highrise where they situate and execute their plans.

in teen movies they usually try so hard to make dialouge that imitates the way teens talk. Usually you find yourself saying "erm....nobody talks like that"

in a martial arts movie, the hero usually has a magical sword/generic blade weapon and the villians weapon is usually the equal/opposite of the heroes. Look for black and red colors on the weapon.

[The Hero]

-In a horror movie,there will always be one pot head.He will always be male,never be the main charactor,and will usualy get killed early on.

[Jspider13]

Originally posted by The Hero
-In a horror movie,there will always be one pot head.He will always be male,never be the main charactor,and will usualy get killed early on.

All it is is a good ol' message sayin 'don't do drugs' :D

[redshoe]

full moon.

[Jspider13]

Originally posted by redshoe
full moon.

:confused:

[LordSimen]

Originally posted by The Hero
-In a horror movie,there will always be one pot head.He will always be male,never be the main charactor,and will usualy get killed early on.

I guess Idle Hands is the exception to most of that rule, then.

[The Hero]

-In a horror movie,there will always be one pot head.He will always be male,never be the main charactor,and will usualy get killed early on.
SIDENOTE:Girls never smoke pot.And if they do,they're just mixed-up suburban teens looking for attention.

[Everyman]

That's not a movie cliche. Thta's reality.:D

Actually no, I know one or two that were NOT d*cks, and were actually smarter than most of the teachers.

[Everyman]

Large amounts of cash is always carried in briefcases.


Especially illegal cash carried by powerful drug dealers... I always wondered why they never use sport bags, as they do in real life...

[ironmaidenrules]

something weird about a guy in a suit carrying a sports bag

makes sense to have a suitcase

[oakzap425]

Every movie has some type of cliche...

[Oakley]

How about that the villain and the hero can't use guns in the final fight?

[Everyman]

something weird about a guy in a suit carrying a sports bag

makes sense to have a suitcase


Except that drug dealers, even big shots, don't necessarily wear suits, not everywhere and in any occasion anyway. Ever watched a police surveillance tape? You'll be surprised how much money can be carried by a sport bags, by guys who look like the average Joe. Normal: it doesn't drag attention.

[Zev]

How about that the villain and the hero can't use guns in the final fight?

They can in Westerns...

[Everyman]

They can in Westerns...

In action movies, they conviniently run out of bullets and have to fist fight.

[Zev]

In action movies, they conviniently run out of bullets and have to fist fight.

More often, Ken's Rule of Guns from Jabootu.

Ken’s Rule of Guns (n): This stipulates that people will invariably forgo the ‘space’ advantage of a firearm, i.e., that it can be used at a distance. In effect, it means that gun bearers will move close enough to their targets so as to lose their weapons in a fight. This rule has saved more heroes than the James Bond Exposition Rule. Example: In On Deadly Ground, one character, who spends the entire movie ranting that Seagal’s character is the greatest commando in the history of the planet, gets the drop on him with a shotgun. Instead of just shooting him, however, he moves close enough to invoke Ken’s Rule of Guns. Seagal, by the way, has probably profited from KROG more than any other actor in film history.

There's also the "Put down the gun, fight me like a man!" rule, which was perhaps most famously used in Commando and again at the end of Rush Hour (am I the only one wondering why the Rush Hour series never seems to give Jackie a villain that knows kung-fu and then allow them to fight?). It was even used in Predator.

This isn't even counting the most eregious examples, such as in Aliens, where heroine Ripley climbs into a giant robo-suit to have a fistfight with the Alien Queen.

But many conflicts are also resolved with gun. It's not the biggest cliche, but it is an oft-used one.

[Jspider13]

Someone can always stand across the street as a Bus or train passes them by, then mysteriously vanish once the Bus has fully passed.

[Brodie Bruce]

What's the JB exposition rule?

[Jspider13]

Say what?

[Spidey-Bat]

LIES:
When someone is making up a lie on the spot, they stammer too much and make it look obvious

[Boom]

Biggest Cliche: Good guys always win.

[Spidey-Bat]

2nd Biggest Cliche: Happy Endings

[Jspider13]

Cops or heroes with guns never consider the fact that they have to conserve bullets. They'll waste nearly all of their bullets on nothing, like shooting pad locks, windows, etc.

[Jspider13]

People will never cut the wrong wire on a bomb.

[The Hero]

If someone in a teen movie is a virgin,they will lose their virginity in a spectacular fashion that would never happen in real life.But only if it's a guy.If it's a girl,it will be some unbelievably romantic crap.

[The Hero]

-Every sword on an old statue comes right off with barely a tug,and is just as sharp and effective as a real sword.(Hellboy,The Matrix Reloaded)

[Zev]

Men sleep around and be playboys until they 'settle down' with the right woman. You will never, ever, EVER see a man in Hollywoodland who's 'saving himself for marriage.' Just isn't done.

[Everyman]

There's also the "Put down the gun, fight me like a man!" rule, which was perhaps most famously used in Commando and again at the end of Rush Hour (am I the only one wondering why the Rush Hour series never seems to give Jackie a villain that knows kung-fu and then allow them to fight?). It was even used in Predator.


I disliked Commando (just like many action movies of the 80s-90s) but I liked the way the fist fight was justified at the end. It could have been used in a better movie...

[Spidey-Bat]

In almost every 80's action movie, the main character uses a gun(s) as his main weapon.

[Everyman]

In almost every 80's action movie, the main character uses a gun(s) as his main weapon.

Well, that's true of many movies set in modern time...

[Hobgoblin]

2nd Biggest Cliche: Happy Endings

Dammit! Thats what I was going to say.

[the a1ant]

I would like to see a film where the hero dies and the villain wins, ruling the universe. That would be trippy and get a thumbs up from me.

[JackBauer]

how 'bout the ultimate romantic movie/chick flick cliché, where the guy always has to run against time to reach the girl who's about to move away so he can prove his undying love for her? *vomit*

[Everyman]

I would like to see a film where the hero dies and the villain wins, ruling the universe. That would be trippy and get a thumbs up from me.

Ever heard of Chinatown? The hero survives, but only to see the badguy triumphs. In Amadeus, the hero dies, but the villain feels guilty for that...

[Knightsaber Priss]

Originally posted by Deus-Ex-Machina
oh oh we're missing the big one.

The cliche that only Americans were affected in World War 2

That's funny. In the Heisei Godzilla movie Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah when everyone goes back in time to Lagos Island during WWII it was the assumption that the Japanese soldiers were the victims of WWII. Honestly, foreigners read too much into American Made films. I mean duuuuuuh! It was made in America for ultimately American audiences so yeah, we are going to see a distinctly American view. I hate it when people whine about this because there are a thousand other foreign films that illustrate the experience from different sides of the globe.

[JackBauer]

I would like to see a film where the hero dies and the villain wins, ruling the universe. That would be trippy and get a thumbs up from me.

that happens in "Arlington road"

[the a1ant]

that happens in "Arlington road"
Ever heard of Chinatown? The hero survives, but only to see the badguy triumphs. In Amadeus, the hero dies, but the villain feels guilty for that...
I will have to see those! ;)

[Spidey-Bat]

In The Empire Strikes Back, The good guys get their asses handed to them.

[Everyman]

I will have to see those! ;)
You haver to, they are great...

[Jspider13]

Whenever someone hangs up on someone, the person still on the line will ALWAYS get a dial tone. That never happens in real life.

[Zev]

When soldiers are killed overseas, some no-good-nik (usually an Ee-vil CIA Agent) will store contraband (usually drugs) in their coffins so as to smuggle it into the country. This cliche dates back to the 1970s, when a Harlem drug dealer imported heroin from Nam in this manner in real-life. It's recently been seen with gold in Battlefield Earth and referenced rather knavishly in Punisher MAX's first story arc.

[Everyman]

Usually, spy-action movies are plagued with evil/rogue CIA agents. The CIA often seems to be a school for traitors.

[Jspider13]

A driver will always find the perfect parking spot alongside a curb right in front of their building, even in Los Angeles or NYC. There's always a spot magically waiting for them.

[Zev]

All romantic relationships begin with both participants hating each other, then they have a passionate argument that ends with them kissing and finally having sex. After that, boom, they're an instant happy couple.

Anyone, after having triggered an explosion, will walk away from it in slow-motion as it occurs, looking very cool.

In fact, when cool people congregate, they often walk in slow-motion, hair and stuff billowing in the wind, so as to look very cool (cliche started in Reservoir Dogs).

Good guys can outrun explosions.

Lost memory can be regained through being konked on the head a second time.

Any time something violent or gruesome happens, we won't SEE it, but we will see blood splattering on something nearby.

Cars never start on the first attempt during an emergency.

Republicans are always evil or tragically misguided. In the latter case, they will always learn the benefits of liberalism by the story's end and Change Their Ways (The Day After Tomorrow). You never see the opposite except for Death Wish. In addition, liberals are allowed a "Stick It To The Man" pass so they can get away with murder (for instance, in Sneakers, the "good guys" use a super-hacker to steal funds from the Republican Party and put it into a college fund. This is "okay" even though they're abusing power for party politics, but the opposite would be monstrously evil).

[nightbringer]

Anything and everything ever done in a Guy Richie film.


God I can't stand his movies.

[nightbringer]

Oh, this is a major one...The good guy(s) always win.

For once, just once I want to see a movie make you totally fall in love with the hero and then during the final confrontation you watch him lose in brutal fashion. Just once I want the crowd to leave shocked and/or pissed that there was no happy ending and that good did not triumph (at least on the first attempt).

Also this isn't so much a movie thing as it is a general media thing, but that guys are always the bad ones in relationships. Men are always portrayed as the cheating, lying, lazy, ones taking advantage of the woman. I know everyone has different experiences in life and that many guys are this way, but in my personal life, for me, I've been the good one in the relationship, the one who actually tried to make things work and didn't lie and cheat and all the other garbage that happens during relationships.

[Zev]

Nice girls don't get angry.

Absolutely infuriating cliche. For instance, our hero, being a lout, sleeps with his significant other's sister. Said significant other gets justificably upset, but just to convince us she's not some man-hater or something, she immediately apologizes. Gag.

[Zev]

If you need a highly-sensitive and dangerous mission completed, whatever you do, do NOT send in a crack team of professionals that work together as a honed unit. This will only result in disaster (Aliens).

Instead, send in a ragtag bunch of misfits or, at worst, two people with an antagonistic relationship. If it's a man and a woman, they're eventually fall in love. If it's a man and a man, they're eventually have a fistfight and settle their differences, then become fast friends (Lethal Weapon). Either way, they'll get the bad guy.

[Zev]

"In a world where darkness reigns and freedom is a memory, one man will break all the rules to prove that you can do anything when you follow your dreams."

That's plenty much every trailer cliche ever in one sentence.

[Wilhelm-Scream]

I didn't read all the posts,but one thing I can't STAND (and that I don't think you can just paste/copy over from a "movie cliches" website) is,in all comedy previews now,there's the part where some kind of big activity is building,building and then,you hear the sound of record-scratch,complete silence for one second and then someone says something that's supposed to make the crowd erupt in laughter,like, "Um,We're gonna have a problem here." or "This is NOT good" and then some boisterous,loud and "fun" music starts up.

Hollywood,STOP DOING THAT! It's so embarrassing and in my experience,it gets the big laugh about 1 out of every 7 times.

[Everyman]

In French movies, especially the movies of Luc Besson, very often the cops are very, very stupid. Or if they aren't dumb, they are corrupted. Frenchmen have a problem with police forces.

[Zev]

Whenever vampire hunters (or slayers now that Buffy is so popular) are about to go after a vampire, they always wait until JUUUST before sundown so there can be a dramatic race to slay the vampire before the sun goes down. No one ever suggests "Hey, guys, let's hang up some garlic, get a good night's rest, pick up a big breakfast at the Waffle House, and take care of this sucker during our lunch break."

Any large public event will inevitably be forestalled by some sort of disaster, either natural or a monster/serial killer. The archetype for this will be Jaws. There will always be a noble Servant of the People who will say "We've Got To Close The Beaches!" and there will always be some Greedy Capitalist who keeps "Thinking About Money When People's LIVES Are In Danger, Damnit!"

The Greedy Capitalist will be proven wrong when the monster/serial killer/earthquake/tornado/whatever attacks the public event, providing a nifty "mass carnage" scene. Once this happens, the Greedy Capitalist will either die or say "You were right" to the hero and THEN die. For he has violated the rules of Hollywood Morality by caring about (ewwww!) money and disagreeing with the hero.

[CobraCommander]

In The Empire Strikes Back, The bad guys get their asses handed to them.

Um... What the hell? In Empire, the Rebels get their asses handed to them.

[블라스]

I didn't read all the posts,but one thing I can't STAND (and that I don't think you can just paste/copy over from a "movie cliches" website) is,in all comedy previews now,there's the part where some kind of big activity is building,building and then,you hear the sound of record-scratch,complete silence for one second and then someone says something that's supposed to make the crowd erupt in laughter,like, "Um,We're gonna have a problem here." or "This is NOT good" and then some boisterous,loud and "fun" music starts up.

Hollywood,STOP DOING THAT! It's so embarrassing and in my experience,it gets the big laugh about 1 out of every 7 times.
LOL :up:

[Spidey-Bat]

Um... What the hell? In Empire, the Rebels get their asses handed to them.

that is what i meant to say. my mistake.

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Lol,glad someone agrees about the damnable record scratch pause.

[Honey Vibe]

The modern ones are just plain infuriating:

- 13 year-old black girls say things to their parents no black child with a sense of self-preservation would EVER say.

- Teenage black boys always have a white BEST FRIEND, whom they give advice and hang out with extensively.

- 13 year-old white boys are inevitably trouble makers in school, or have nothing better to do than terrorize their sister.

- Mid-teen white girls are all depressed and dark.

[The Hero]

In a science fiction movie,every time an unstoppable force tries to do something,no matter what their motovation or goal is,they are instantly evil and must be stopped.No real reason is needed.

The only way an attractive woman can acheive a position of power is through sex,and nothing more.

To add a dramatic punch to a climactic battle,the nemesis will either kill or be revealed to have previously killed someone the hero loves.Sometimes both are used.

By the end of an action movie,the hero's female counterpart will either be dead,or have fallen in love with the hero.

No matter how powerful an army,monster,robot,ect.,it can always be defeated by one guy.


That's right,I just watched Chronicles of Riddick.:down

[Danalys]

"this time it's personal" or "this just got personal" because the deaths/kidnappings/whatevers of people you don't know personally just don't matter aparently.

[Kent]

That's right,I just watched Chronicles of Riddick.:down

Now I'm not saying that the Chronicles of Riddick is necessarily a good movie... but...


In a science fiction movie,every time an unstoppable force tries to do something,no matter what their motovation or goal is,they are instantly evil and must be stopped.No real reason is needed.


No reason? Trying to enslave all humans planet by planet using brute military force and threatening to take their souls if they don't convert doesn't seem evil to you, doesn't seem like enough of a motivation for wanting to stop them? I mean jeez...

[Spidey-Bat]

That's right,I just watched Chronicles of Riddick.:down

LOL :joker: :D:up:

[Everyman]

In a lot of action movies, the hero is a cool guy who takes unecessary risks, is not too serious about his job, and is often helped by a stuck up sidekick who of course play by the rules but to no avail. Said sidekick will always remain in the shadow of the hero.

[Master Chief]

The only way an attractive woman can acheive a position of power is through sex,and nothing more.

That's right,I just watched Chronicles of Riddick.:down

...:confused:

[LordSimen]

Oh, this is a major one...The good guy(s) always win.


Some horror movies let the bad guy win.


Jeepers Creepers, for example.

[The Hero]

Now I'm not saying that the Chronicles of Riddick is necessarily a good movie... but...



No reason? Trying to enslave all humans planet by planet using brute military force and threatening to take their souls if they don't convert doesn't seem evil to you, doesn't seem like enough of a motivation for wanting to stop them? I mean jeez...I didn't remember any mention of slavery,my bad.:o

[Zev]

All Christians hate sex.

All Southerns are uneducated bigots.

All street gangs are admirably multiethnic, despite many REAL street gangs being formed on racial grounds.

There is no greater tragedy than sexual repression (although, technically, many sexual deviants such as pedophiles do receive therapy that consists of sexual repression so as to avoid going to jail).

All serial killers murder people because their parents were Bible-thumping Christians who abused them when they were little (The Cell).

Any great catastrophe ALWAYS has a love story behind it (Titanic, Pearl Harbor).

If you're in a sci-fi/fantasy movie and your significant other gets killed, don't worry, you can bring them back through some pseudo-scientific mumbo jumbo (or, alternately, touchy-feely mumbo gumbo). (Hellboy, The Matrix)

If you are really, really, REALLY good at using some kind of weapon, you can deflect bullets/laser beams with it (Hellboy, Star Wars).

[sithgoblin]

People who are 'badass' wearing black :o

[Spidey-Bat]

All Christians hate sex.
speaking as a Christian, I can confirm that is not true.


If you are really, really, REALLY good at using some kind of weapon, you can deflect bullets/laser beams with it (Hellboy, Star Wars).

did you see The One? Jet Li deflects a bullet with a gun!

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Yes,personally,I don't believe in Christianity,in fact in RL I have a lot of animosity toward the "God" of the Bible and some of those that just "know" that it's all true (and therefore,try to impose it on everyone else...for for their own good).

But the often heard Christian complaint that it almost seems like Holywood has an agenda designed to actively discredit Christians is totally valid and I find it disgusting how they,almost as a rule,are portrayed.
Most Chrisitians are perfectly normal people and many of them really are better than most of us,kinder,more selfless,more honest,etc.

But if you judge by Hollywood,Christians are pretty much all hypocritical monsters and the practice of their faith is tantamount to the root of all evil.When Muslims are portrayed that way? Studios changes the script in a frenzy....such a huge double standard.
If you want to portray a creepy parent that's full of Evil,it's pretty much reQUIRED that they obsessively quote from the Bible,like Max Cady in Cape Fear,or the Hitman in Pulp Fiction.
People are now conditioned to either laugh at or despise a character that might be audacious enough to feel strongly that their kids should wait until they're married to have Sex! Total Movie cliche,Christians are psychos or clowns.

[Jspider13]

In a lot of action movies, the hero is a cool guy who takes unecessary risks, is not too serious about his job, and is often helped by a stuck up sidekick who of course play by the rules but to no avail. Said sidekick will always remain in the shadow of the hero.

Van Helsing fits the description.

[PyroChamber]

I'm not sure if this has been touched upon, but some of the most cliche things happen in movies about kids and sports (Bad News Bears, Mighty Ducks, Little Giants, Big Green)

Examples.....

THE COACH....Usually it's some guy who was chosen to be coach without having any say about it. He usually has some knowledge of the game because he use to be good at it, and he usually don't give a crap about the team until later when they begin to win.

THE OPPOSING COACH....Usually just an all around ******* who thinks that winning is everything and gets pissed if his team loses. He also has some sort of a connection to the coach being either the man's old coach or his friend. And he might have a kid who's on the team also.

THE OPPOSING TEAM....Best team in the league. Usually have black uniforms and are nothing but a bunch of rich preppy *******s.

THE TEAM/PLAYERS
Worst time in the league. they have bad equipment and uniiforms, but soon get new stuff when they start winning.

THE FAT KID....Always eating and usually plays a position that only a fat kid can play (backcatcher or goalie)

THE BLACK KID....Usually the ONLY minority on the team, they make him to be the "GHETTO KID" who tends to talk a lot of ****.

THE GIRL....Not liked at first, and usually doesn't like to be left out because she's the only female on the team. And at times tends to be a tomboy.

THE TOUGH KID/RINGER....The one kid that helps the team out when they are about to get their asses kicked, and ends up having something that can come in handy in the sport (killer slap shot, hard swing, insane goal kick, etc)
and the coach has to do a lot of convincing to get them to join the team.

THE SHORT KID....The Short kid is usually the one who can't seem to keep his mouth shut and always has something to say.

THE SMART KID....Usually a kid with glasses.

COACH'S PET....The one player who is more well liked by the coach than the other players are, and ends up being the one who wins the big game.

SILENT PLAYERS....These are the players who have one or two lines in the whole movie and afterwards are on the sidelines with nothing to say nor are they in the game at all.

Well, that's about all I can name now if anyone has anymore then feel free to add-on.

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Yeah,the coach....I'm not sure because I hate sports movies and I hate Keanu so I never saw it,but I believe Keanu did one where he was forced to be the coach as a part of his community service after being convicted of a crime.

I didn't see it but I have a strong feeling that when he started he had a bad attitude,then he got to know the kids on the team,they all grew together,he learned a lot about himself and they won the big championship.Just a hunch.

[The Hero]

Any time a pet gets hurt in a movie trailer,they have to show by the end of the trailer that it's perfectly fine afterwards.

Any sci-fi action movie trailer(especialy if it's a comic-book movie) has to have a generic "hee-heh-hoo-ha-hee-hah-ha"-type chanting in order to give it an "epic" feel.

Black people in movies only have three career paths:sports,music,and crime.

That last one is particularly annoying.

[Zev]

In all action movies, there will be a scene where the villain "crosses the line", making it personal. Like pulling out Spacker Dave's piercings in The Punisher, capturing Morpheus, killing Co in Rambo: First Blood 2.

This will be followed by the hero "suiting up", putting on a lot of weapons and generally getting his game face on to go kick ass and/or get his guy/girl back. This is a cue that there will be one final big action sequence.

[The Navigator]

Yes,personally,I don't believe in Christianity,in fact in RL I have a lot of animosity toward the "God" of the Bible and some of those that just "know" that it's all true (and therefore,try to impose it on everyone else...for for their own good).

But the often heard Christian complaint that it almost seems like Holywood has an agenda designed to actively discredit Christians is totally valid and I find it disgusting how they,almost as a rule,are portrayed.
Most Chrisitians are perfectly normal people and many of them really are better than most of us,kinder,more selfless,more honest,etc.

But if you judge by Hollywood,Christians are pretty much all hypocritical monsters and the practice of their faith is tantamount to the root of all evil.When Muslims are portrayed that way? Studios changes the script in a frenzy....such a huge double standard.
If you want to portray a creepy parent that's full of Evil,it's pretty much reQUIRED that they obsessively quote from the Bible,like Max Cady in Cape Fear,or the Hitman in Pulp Fiction.
People are now conditioned to either laugh at or despise a character that might be audacious enough to feel strongly that their kids should wait until they're married to have Sex! Total Movie cliche,Christians are psychos or clowns.

Thank you, Wilhelm. We may disagree on a lot of things, but at least this isn't one of them. :up:

I have a particular thing with this: I really dislike it when we learn the person is religious FIRST and then they go whacko. Then we're just getting the message that the people of that religion are prone to being psychotic. But, if they're nuts first, and then they invoke the name of God (Like in Misery) I don't have as much of a problem with that because that happens all the time with nutcases in real life.

But that sex thing kinda pisses me off no matter how you represent it. It's just slamming those of faith as backwards, uneducated, and behind the times, and that is probably one of the few accepted practices of discrimination that's left.

[The Navigator]

In all action movies, there will be a scene where the villain "crosses the line", making it personal. Like pulling out Spacker Dave's piercings in The Punisher, capturing Morpheus, killing Co in Rambo: First Blood 2.

This will be followed by the hero "suiting up", putting on a lot of weapons and generally getting his game face on to go kick ass and/or get his guy/girl back. This is a cue that there will be one final big action sequence.

Yeah, I'm kinda glad they avoided all that in RoboCop. Die Hard too, although that "crossing the line" thing is debatable in that movie.

[The Navigator]

People who are 'badass' wearing black :o

This is why I like Indiana Jones. He's down with the brown. :up:

[Zev]

Love is the most important thing, bar none. Even if it means sacrificing the entire human race to save your love, it's worth it (The Matrix Reloaded).

Never fight with a hero while a catchy pop song is playing. They will be invincible. But then, if you were going into battle while listening to "Ballroom Blitz", you couldn't very well be hurt, now could you?

Real heroes never, ever go to the authorities, even when it would rather easily solve the problem. They always take out the bad guy personally.

In a disaster, someone must always sacrifice themselves heroically. This is usually preceded by him saying a heroic quip or someone making a heroic quip for him (Armageddon, 10.5).

Oh, and technically, Rabby, in Die Hard Alan Rickman's definitive Euro-villain kidnaps John's wife before the final showdown. I think that counts. And the killing of Bob Morton in Robocop might count, as well as Anne Lewis' wounding (following which Robocop amps up with the bazooka thing and uses it to destroy the ED-209).

Radiation, toxic waste, or genetic engineering can create fearsome monsters.

[Zev]

But that sex thing kinda pisses me off no matter how you represent it. It's just slamming those of faith as backwards, uneducated, and behind the times, and that is probably one of the few accepted practices of discrimination that's left.

Along with showing white males as immature, idiotic, hopelessly lost in the real world, or a combination of the three, and women as no nonsense, astute, and competent. Seriously, watch TV commercials for five minutes and you'll run into a big, dumb, white guy. Hell, watch a goddamn sitcom. There are no sitcoms that don't have big dumb white guys in them (well, except maybe for on UPN. They have big dumb BLACK guys).

[The Navigator]

Love is the most important thing, bar none. Even if it means sacrificing the entire human race to save your love, it's worth it (The Matrix Reloaded).

Never fight with a hero while a catchy pop song is playing. They will be invincible. But then, if you were going into battle while listening to "Ballroom Blitz", you couldn't very well be hurt, now could you?

Real heroes never, ever go to the authorities, even when it would rather easily solve the problem. They always take out the bad guy personally.
Unless you ARE the authorities. (Again, RoboCop)

In a disaster, someone must always sacrifice themselves heroically. This is usually preceded by him saying a heroic quip or someone making a heroic quip for him (Armageddon, 10.5).

Oh, and technically, Rabby, in Die Hard Alan Rickman's definitive Euro-villain kidnaps John's wife before the final showdown. I think that counts. And the killing of Bob Morton in Robocop might count, as well as Anne Lewis' wounding (following which Robocop amps up with the bazooka thing and uses it to destroy the ED-209).

Yeah, I know he kidnaps her personally, but she was held a hostage, under his command, for the entire movie. It's not like that really changed anything.
Anne Lewis was never really a love interest, though, and since the justice system had been suspended, RoboCop had to take down all of Boddicker's gang. He couldn't go to a higher power because Jones would surely have paid them off anyway and the cops were on strike.
And, to be even more fair, he only uses the Cobra assault cannon on the ED-209....and not Dick Jones, who he kills with his regular pistol AFTER he destroys ED-209.

[Zev]

There are certain things Man Was Not Meant To Know. Even when the logical solution is to be more cautious, the movie always clearly advocates the complete abandonment of all research into whatever. This cliche started with Frankenstein and has continued ever since. For instance, in The Fly you have a WORKING TELEPORTATION MACHINE. Only problem is that a fly got into it. So do you enforce rigid sterility procedures to make sure the accident doesn't repeat itself? No, you take an ax to it. There goes the secret of teleportation. Thanks.

Of course, NOW Hollywood is advocating stem-cell research. Not to make this a political debate, but hypocrisy much?

[The Navigator]

There are certain things Man Was Not Meant To Know. Even when the logical solution is to be more cautious, the movie always clearly advocates the complete abandonment of all research into whatever. This cliche started with Frankenstein and has continued ever since. For instance, in The Fly you have a WORKING TELEPORTATION MACHINE. Only problem is that a fly got into it. So do you enforce rigid sterility procedures to make sure the accident doesn't repeat itself? No, you take an ax to it. There goes the secret of teleportation. Thanks.

Of course, NOW Hollywood is advocating stem-cell research. Not to make this a political debate, but hypocrisy much?

Obviously the secret of teleportation DIDN'T die, as four hundred years later, people are beaming all over the place. ;)

[Zev]

Before any large, epic battle, the hero MUST give an Inspiring Speech to his troops. Credit Braveheart with inventing this cliche. (Lord of the Rings, Alexander, Troy)

Never, under any circumstances start a light source in a monster movie. It will only reveal a monster nearby, allowing it to kill you.

If you are a professional soldier combing the area for a monster and you hear strange noises nearby, whatever you do, DO NOT remain calm and radio for back-up. Instead, hold your gun forward and spin around to face any new noise, breathing heavily. This will not save you, but it will make your eventual death more dramatic.

When faced by a superior force, don't worry. They'll usually attack you one by one.

Any racist will eventually grow to respect, indeed love, a comrade who they once hated based on their minority status. The minority will never be a complete ass-dink who causes the racist to become more racist. (The Patriot, Lord of the Rings)

[The Navigator]

But, back on topic.

Cliche'd things:

The magical object that really isn't needed, since apparently just believing in yourself gives you supernatural abilities (Like Mike, the Natural)

If your opponent appears to have fallen over the edge of something and disappeared, check your six because he's about to clock you. (The Rocketeer, Spider-Man 2)

Cyborgs can defy their programming if the plot requires because their "human" side triumphs over all. (RoboCop 2, Terminator 3)

When the rules in a confrontation are clear that two men enter and one man leaves, the hero's gonna be gracious and they'll both live. (Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Hook, Daredevil)

Running out of ammo? What's that? (RoboCop, Predator)

A person's foot crunching something small and breakable is seen as a powerful act of defiance (Christine, Die Hard).

A guy who looks like Kurt Russel lives no matter what the f_ck he's doing. (The Thing, Escape from New York, Stargate)

Satan's minions are generally minorities (Spawn, Ghostbusters).

The odds make chances of success practically impossible, but screw that nonsense. (Empire Strikes Back, Ghostbusters)

Nazis ally themselves with the French all the time(The Rocketeer, Raiders of the Lost Ark).

If you're a good guy and you get shot, it's either:
A: At the end of the movie (Butch Cassidy, Saving Private Ryan)
B: In a nonvital area (Die Hard, Matrix)
C: bouncing off your indestructible hide. (Superman, RoboCop)

[The Navigator]

Before any large, epic battle, the hero MUST give an Inspiring Speech to his troops. Credit Braveheart with inventing this cliche. (Lord of the Rings, Alexander, Troy)

Never, under any circumstances start a light source in a monster movie. It will only reveal a monster nearby, allowing it to kill you.
Also, be sure to back up when you're scared ****less, as this apparently confirms monsters won't attack from the rear. However, if they do, be sure to have a chainsaw strapped to the stump of your right arm so you can defend yourself.

If you are a professional soldier combing the area for a monster and you hear strange noises nearby, whatever you do, DO NOT remain calm and radio for back-up. Instead, hold your gun forward and spin around to face any new noise, breathing heavily. This will not save you, but it will make your eventual death more dramatic.

When faced by a superior force, don't worry. They'll usually attack you one by one.
When did this last one happen? :confused:

Any racist will eventually grow to respect, indeed love, a comrade who they once hated based on their minority status. The minority will never be a complete ass-dink who causes the racist to become more racist. (The Patriot, Lord of the Rings)
This is also true for the reverse: the racist minority will come to accept the caucasian because "whitey ain't so bad."

[Zev]

When did this last one happen? :confused:

Countless kung-fu movies.

Also, if you're in a spy movie and you're given a gadget, rest assured that you WILL use that gadget by the end of the movie, no matter how esoteric its use is. For instance, in The Man With The Golden Gun, Roger Moore requires a prosthetic nipple to masquerade as the villain. Did someone in Q branch seriously invent a prosthetic nipple and say to themselves "One day they'll need it, I just know it!"

If Coldplay starts playing on the soundtrack, get ready for heartbreak. You're probably going to find yourself crying alone as the scene ends.

Whenever a villain takes a hostage, the hero will always have to drop his gun. Even if he's a cop and you're NEVER EVER supposed to do this, as then the bad guy can just shoot you and the hostage. The hero never grabs a henchman and says "Oh yeah? Well let her go or I'll blow your right-hand man away."

[The Navigator]

Countless kung-fu movies.

Also, if you're in a spy movie and you're given a gadget, rest assured that you WILL use that gadget by the end of the movie, no matter how esoteric its use is. For instance, in The Man With The Golden Gun, Roger Moore requires a prosthetic nipple to masquerade as the villain. Did someone in Q branch seriously invent a prosthetic nipple and say to themselves "One day they'll need it, I just know it!"

If Coldplay starts playing on the soundtrack, get ready for heartbreak. You're probably going to find yourself crying alone as the scene ends.

Whenever a villain takes a hostage, the hero will always have to drop his gun. Even if he's a cop and you're NEVER EVER supposed to do this, as then the bad guy can just shoot you and the hostage. The hero never grabs a henchman and says "Oh yeah? Well let her go or I'll blow your right-hand man away."

Ah.

Yeah, that last one always bugged me. Fortunately, John McClane had an ace up his sleave....
And RoboCop 2, bad as it was, gave that hostage thing an interesting twist.

[ultimatefan]

Before any large, epic battle, the hero MUST give an Inspiring Speech to his troops. Credit Braveheart with inventing this cliche. (Lord of the Rings, Alexander, Troy)


Shakespeare started that with Henry V...

[The Navigator]

Shakespeare started that with Henry V...

Yeah, but I think he meant in mainstream movies.

[Zev]

Ah.

Yeah, that last one always bugged me. Fortunately, John McClane had an ace up his sleave....
And RoboCop 2, bad as it was, gave that hostage thing an interesting twist.

So did Speed, for that matter.

[The Navigator]

So did Speed, for that matter.

What did he do in Speed? I forgot.

(I remember what he did with the freakin' bus, just not the specific hostage crisis thing.)

[Zev]

Shot the hostage in the leg, thus making it impossible for the hostage-taker to take the hostage with him.

[ultimatefan]

Along with showing white males as immature, idiotic, hopelessly lost in the real world, or a combination of the three, and women as no nonsense, astute, and competent. Seriously, watch TV commercials for five minutes and you'll run into a big, dumb, white guy. Hell, watch a goddamn sitcom. There are no sitcoms that don't have big dumb white guys in them (well, except maybe for on UPN. They have big dumb BLACK guys).
This is something that pisses me off in sitcoms... Whatever is wrong, the HUSBAND is guilty... It´s always the husband who´s lazy, selfish, stupid, immature... The woman is always the voice of reason/moral center of the family...

In comedies, they will portray a stereotypical character and at the same time make fun of the stereotype (Not Another Teen Movie).

[ultimatefan]

"Empowering women" means to make them kung fu masters who, against every notion of precaution, wear body-fitting outfits that bare a lot of skin...

[The Navigator]

This is something that pisses me off in sitcoms... Whatever is wrong, the HUSBAND is guilty... It´s always the husband who´s lazy, selfish, stupid, immature... The woman is always the voice of reason/moral center of the family...

In comedies, they will portray a stereotypical character and at the same time make fun of the stereotype (Not Another Teen Movie).

Agreed.

[Everyman]

Countless kung-fu movies.

Also, if you're in a spy movie and you're given a gadget, rest assured that you WILL use that gadget by the end of the movie, no matter how esoteric its use is. For instance, in The Man With The Golden Gun, Roger Moore requires a prosthetic nipple to masquerade as the villain. Did someone in Q branch seriously invent a prosthetic nipple and say to themselves "One day they'll need it, I just know it!"


Man with the Golden Gun was a bad Bond, but Q didn't have a prosthetic nipple up his sleeve, James Bond ask Q's department to make one so he could pass as Scaramangua. I think it actually shows how gadgets should be use in a Bond movie: not something totally arbitrary given to Bond that plot convenience will make him use, but something that isspecifically designed for one mission, and one particular aspect of the mission. It is too bad they didn't go this way other movies, and have Q giving specific gadgets for a specific reason.

[Zev]

In epic warfare, no matter how many millions or tens of millions of troops are fighting, you can always find your personal enemy among the carnage and have a mano-e-mano showdown. (The Patriot, The Last Samurai, etc)

Additionally, no matter how bloody or beat-up you are after the final confrontation, your significant other will have no compunctions about embracing and kissing you.

[The Hero]

Along with showing white males as immature, idiotic, hopelessly lost in the real world, or a combination of the three, and women as no nonsense, astute, and competent. Seriously, watch TV commercials for five minutes and you'll run into a big, dumb, white guy. Hell, watch a goddamn sitcom. There are no sitcoms that don't have big dumb white guys in them (well, except maybe for on UPN. They have big dumb BLACK guys).
But don't worry,they make up for it by portraying every single white guy as a dumbass,and every white woman as a dumb bimbo.

I know what you mean,ultimatefan.My family watches Everybody Loves Raymond all the time,and it's the exact same thing every episode.He does something stupid,and his wife(who,of course,is perfect in every way) yells at him for the remainder of the show.Imagine having to see that every day of your life.:(

[ultimatefan]

But don't worry,they make up for it by portraying every single white guy as a dumbass,and every white woman as a dumb bimbo.

I know what you mean,ultimatefan.My family watches Everybody Loves Raymond all the time,and it's the exact same thing every episode.He does something stupid,and his wife(who,of course,is perfect in every way) yells at him for the remainder of the show.Imagine having to see that every day of your life.:(
More or less every family sitcom is like that: According to Jim is Jim screws up and gets a lecture from his wife, King of Queens is Doug screws up and gets a lecture from his wife...

[The Navigator]

But don't worry,they make up for it by portraying every single white guy as a dumbass,and every white woman as a dumb bimbo.

I know what you mean,ultimatefan.My family watches Everybody Loves Raymond all the time,and it's the exact same thing every episode.He does something stupid,and his wife(who,of course,is perfect in every way) yells at him for the remainder of the show.Imagine having to see that every day of your life.:(

There are a few episodes where the ***** gets put in her place, and I love them for it. :up:

[The Hero]

Someone should make a "Most cliche thing done in tv" thread.

[The Navigator]

Why not you?

[Jspider13]

:up:

[The Hero]

Why not you?
I think it bookends things to have both threads started by the same person.That,and I'm one lazy bastard.:o

[The Navigator]

Here's another cliche that bugs me: In a contest between a male and female, the female always wins. Well, maybe not always, but certainly at least 90% of the time.

[Agent Thermal]

I know what you mean,ultimatefan.My family watches Everybody Loves Raymond all the time,and it's the exact same thing every episode.He does something stupid,and his wife(who,of course,is perfect in every way) yells at him for the remainder of the show.Imagine having to see that every day of your life.:(

HA HA - I was just thinking the same thing not too long ago! It is interesting how downright GENERIC the "storylines" are in that show! Of course, they toy with that idea JUST ENOUGH to make it vaguely different every episode - but the basic theme/idea ALWAYS remains. :cool: It's an okay show - I just think it needs to branch out WAY more. Break the mold, Raymond! Then we might ACTUALLY love you!:p

[Zev]

Here's another cliche that bugs me: In a contest between a male and female, the female always wins. Well, maybe not always, but certainly at least 90% of the time.

There was one time I didn't mind this, in an episode of Fastlane. The requisite Tough Chick is in a fight with this huge bartender, right? She holds her own for a few minutes, gets pretty smacked around... then comes up with a shotgun and blows him away.

Guns - the Great Equalizer.

[The Navigator]

There was one time I didn't mind this, in an episode of Fastlane. The requisite Tough Chick is in a fight with this huge bartender, right? She holds her own for a few minutes, gets pretty smacked around... then comes up with a shotgun and blows him away.

Guns - the Great Equalizer.

OK, I like that. But for God's sake, why does every guy/girl confrontation ends up with the girl winning? Girls are NOT better at everything than guys, sorry to say.

Although they are more attractive. :D

[The Hero]

Everybody who lives in the south has an insanely thick southern accent.

Only smart people ware glasses.

Only sick people sneeze.If someone sneezes,even if it's just one time,thats enough for at least one other character to tell them that they have a cold.

[The Navigator]

If someone wears glasses, they won't have them by the end of the film because glasses make people ugly. Generally, they also receive a makeover throughout the picture, although you don't see them doing it.

If you fight near an aircraft, someone's gonna get hit by the propellers.

If there's a car chase, one of them always flips over.

Women in horror movies wear the oddest choice of clothing, and nobody stares at them in spite of this.

[ultimatefan]

- If a movie story revolves around a supernatural phenomen or a miracle, there NEVER is a satisfying rational/scientific explanation in the end. The phenomen always turns out to be real. Same goes for UFOs.

- In such movies, the person who defends the scientific theory is always a cynical rationalist who looks down on paranormal phenomena but ends up being proven wrong.

- If the leading character is someone who´s lost his faith or is a cynical atheist, by the end of the movie they ALWAYS recover their faith or gain it...

[Zev]

- If a movie story revolves around a supernatural phenomen or a miracle, there NEVER is a satisfying rational/scientific explanation in the end. The phenomen always turns out to be real. Same goes for UFOs.

You haven't watched any of the old William Castle movies, have you?

[ultimatefan]

You haven't watched any of the old William Castle movies, have you?
I´m referring to the common studio clichés, so that would be the exception that confirms the rule.

[Zev]

For that matter, gut feelings and intuition always trump scientific evidence.

The hero is always right about everything.

[ultimatefan]

For that matter, gut feelings and intuition always trump scientific evidence.

The hero is always right about everything.
Oh yeah, the guy who makes a "wild guess" is always right...

[The Navigator]

Timer countdowns are never off, so the hero can make a last-minute save.

If you go to a bad guy's lair, a series of events will follow:

You will hide at first, taking out a few guys at a time with cool action sequences that somehow don't attract attention.
You find out the villian's big plan.
You're too busy staring at the stupid plan so your ass gets captured.
Bad guy starts "monologuing" about what and why he is doing what hes doing.
You're politely nodding, maybe making a smart remark, and discreetly working free of your bonds.
He leaves and leaves a few apathetic guards to watch you.
You distract them, and escape, killing the guards and taking their weapons.

Then, of course, it gets fun.


People hop from bed to bed and never get STDs or children. (Granted, this is mostly in teen movies, but still)

No gun sounds puny and small, even if it IS puny and small.

[Zev]

OK, I like that. But for God's sake, why does every guy/girl confrontation ends up with the girl winning? Girls are NOT better at everything than guys, sorry to say.

Although they are more attractive. :D

I don't know about the last part. Cary Elwes is one foxy he-*****.

[The Navigator]

I don't know about the last part. Cary Elwes is one foxy he-*****.

Only as Wesley.

[Zev]

Villains usually have cooler stuff than the heroes (Vader has a Super Star Destroyer, Rebels have those lumpy Mon Calamari ships).

Girlfriends have been known to vanish between movies (and books, too! Check out "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy").

Women always bond by singing or lip-syncing to a popular song. (I'm sure there was one of these in Stepmom and I think Raising Helen dissed DEVO by hitting them with this cliche).

In contrast, men bond by comparing scars or telling haunting personal tragedies.

Alien or fantasy races are so stereotypical that any one member usually acts almost the same as another (Elves are haughty and noble, Klingons are honorable, Romulans are sneaky, etc.)

[Everyman]

Villains usually have cooler stuff than the heroes (Vader has a Super Star Destroyer, Rebels have those lumpy Mon Calamari ships).


In Star Wars's case, it could be explained by the fact that the Rebels lacked the resources of the Empire. It is less explainable in a lot of action movies (including some of the worst James Bond), where the badguys, usually members of a small terrorist/criminal organisation, seem to have more resources than the United States Army, or enough anyway to fight them at a standstill, until the hero comes in and makes the difference all by himself.

[ultimatefan]

- Someone starts playing a music and dancing, people not only join but all know the choreography (just saw 13 Going On 30)

[The Hero]

Despite living in a hot desert,Jesus is always a pasty white boy.

[Spidey-Bat]

- Someone starts playing a music and dancing, people not only join but all know the choreography (just saw 13 Going On 30)

those scenes annoy me so damn much :mad:

it was alright in Austin Powers

[Strange]

I just watched I Robot and when the Robots went bad their blue light turned red, I mean how stupid is that. Other than that it was an o.k. movie.

I also hate movies where the star good guy punches a bad guy and then the bad guy bends over and waits in the perfect postion for the good guy to kick him in the head.

[Jspider13]

Kids throwing paper airplanes in school buses.

No one does that.

[Pink Ranger]

- Someone starts playing a music and dancing, people not only join but all know the choreography (just saw 13 Going On 30)

It's a good thing you don't live in India, or you'd go NUTS.

[The Amazing Lee]

Everyone believes the hero is the evil one and the villain is the good person. The hero tries to prove in a desperation attempt.

Nightmares always result in the person jumping awake and banging their head on a shelf of some sort.

Third time's a charm trick ;):D

[Knightsaber Priss]

I'm starting to come to the realization that Zombie movies are the most cliched, overdone types of genre films ever.

[Jspider13]

Rappers have to be in horror movies.

[HillValley85]

Virgins Live, ****s Die.

(I apologize, if this was taken already).

[Knightsaber Priss]

I don't care if this was mentioned or not, but only I with my moniker can officially say this......

Alot of movies pay homage constantly to the King of Monsters like Pee Wee's Big Adventure, About Last Night, Shrek 2, etc. etc.

[Knightsaber Priss]

Movie trailers are cliche ridden. Most trailers, especially action films, always end with some climatic shot from the movie, followed by announcer's voice, follwed by a list of credits flashed on for about 4 seconds at the longest, followed by one last quick action shot or funny quip from the film (think Catwoman cracking that whip at the end of the trailer!) Good Lord, this formula is overdone to the point where it induces vomiting.

Perchance have you ever seen the trailer to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on their website? It basically pokes at all the verily cliched elements utilized in American trailers today.

[Knightsaber Priss]

People will never cut the wrong wire on a bomb.

Except for Riggs and Murtaugh.

[fallenAngel]

Perchance have you ever seen the trailer to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy on their website? It basically pokes at all the verily cliched elements utilized in American trailers today.

I love that trailer.

[Jspider13]

Whenever there are a couple of Henchman out to kill someone, preferably in a comedy, one of them is really tall and the other is really short. The tall one is usually dumb and slow, and the short one is the one that tells the tall one what to do and always yells at him.

[Rex Calibur]

You can take hours running to a door that is closing fast, but the door will never close until you the second you get past it.

[Swordmaster]

Good>Evil

Ugh, please :rolleyes:

[Carmine Falcone]

If you go to a bad guy's lair, a series of events will follow:
You will hide at first, taking out a few guys at a time with cool action sequences that somehow don't attract attention.
You find out the villian's big plan.
You're too busy staring at the stupid plan so your ass gets captured.
Bad guy starts "monologuing" about what and why he is doing what hes doing.
You're politely nodding, maybe making a smart remark, and discreetly working free of your bonds.
He leaves and leaves a few apathetic guards to watch you.
You distract them, and escape, killing the guards and taking their weapons..

So true :D

[Mr. Credible]

I like the "mexican stand-off" between the good guy and bad guy, both men have their guns drawn, and the camera pulls in close on either one's face as both pull the trigger, so you can't see who gets shot, then we see the villain crack a smile, thinking he's got the good guy, only to look down to see a bullet hole in his chest (as if he didn't feel it before)

That's one of my favorites.

[Rex Calibur]

In a Mel Brooks movie, the characters watch the movie they are in right now. (Blazing saddles, Spaceballs)

[Odin's Lapdog]

What do you think is the most cliche type of thing you see in movies? Or even movie posters? In anything movie related?

For me, it's gotta be where two people are about to kiss and something interupts them before they do. :mad:
I was going to say the hero and the main lady kissing at the end of the film...


or the hero saving a damsel in distress of some sort...

of course the hero is always male...

[wagnerelli]

If any soldier reveals that he has a family to the main character,that soldier will be killed in action

[Kevin Roegele]

A lot of these, such as the villain being the heroes' father or father figure, are not cliches but genre codes and conventions. The defeating and replacing of a father figure is part of the classic hero journey as detailed by Jospeh Campbell.

[The Hero]

Badass characters (especially villains) always dispense random mythological,historical,and philosophical tidbits.Example:

*Hitman shoots guy in chest*

"You know,the ancient Sumerians believed that blood came from the tears of a giant serpent..."

[Kevin Roegele]

If the hero is part of the military, there will be a bunch of no-nonsense, ruthless men in charge who eventually give him respect.

If the hero is not part of the military, they will be presented as heavy-handed, ineffective, overly violent and not too smart.

[Kevin Roegele]

Badass characters (especially villains) always dispense random mythological,historical,and philosophical tidbits.Example:

*Hitman shoots guy in chest*

"You know,the ancient Sumerians believed that blood came from the tears of a giant serpent..."


LOL, so true.

You could also add literary, esp. Shakespeare quotations.

[Kevin Roegele]

Except for Riggs and Murtaugh.

And Ian McKellen in The Shadow.

[Everyman]

If there is a traitor or a secret ennemy in the environment of the hero, it will never be the colleague or superior hostile to him, but the person that has always defended the hero and been on his side from day one. Watch Young Sherlock Holmes for example. Something similar happens in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, where Snapes is suspected by Harry, Ron and Hermione for being a follower of Voldemort, while it is the most harmless-looking professor the real double agent. A similar situation happens in The Prisonner of Azkaban.

[Kevin Roegele]

If there is a traitor or a secret ennemy in the environment of the hero, it will never be the colleague or superior hostile to him, but the person that has always defended the hero and been on his side from day one. Watch Young Sherlock Holmes for example. Something similar happens in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, where Snapes is suspected by Harry, Ron and Hermione for being a follower of Voldemort, while it is the most harmless-looking professor the real double agent. A similar situation happens in The Prisonner of Azkaban.

I love Young Sherlock Holmes!

I would disagree with your statement somewhat though. In a lot of movies, it's the slimy, weak-minded ones who always hate the hero that sell out to the bad guys.

[Everyman]

I love Young Sherlock Holmes!

I would disagree with your statement somewhat though. In a lot of movies, it's the slimy, weak-minded ones who always hate the hero that sell out to the bad guys.

I am not sure if I like or hate Young Sherlock Holmes yet... But if it doesn't happen in all the movies, very often the traitor is the most sympathetic character. In Young Sherlock Holmes, I knew right from the start who was the bad guy, and I was ten when I saw it!

[The Storm]

I was going to say the hero and the main lady kissing at the end of the film...


or the hero saving a damsel in distress of some sort...

of course the hero is always male...

Definitely the 'kiss', usually happens at the end or somewhere just past the middle.

[Kevin Roegele]

I am not sure if I like or hate Young Sherlock Holmes yet... But if it doesn't happen in all the movies, very often the traitor is the most sympathetic character.

Oh yeah, I only disagree somewhat.

[silver_arrow]

Damsel in distress in superhero movies.

[The Hero]

Every woman is bisexual,especially if she's a villain.Also:Female villains always have some tragic backstory that usually revolves around suffering at the hands of men.The "just an *ass****" motivation is rarely allowed.

[xwolverine2]

when a bomb is going off and there is a clock with red numbers.....and the bomb is too big to move.......theres no time to run.....people stand and watch the hero diffuse the bomb.....hero always seems to be carrying the right tools to diffuse the bomb......theres always color coded wires....bomb diffuses at 1sec left (but nowadays its SO cliche that now all bombs end with 11sec. left)........and police arrive just right after the bomb is diffused.

[terry78]

In a comedy, the hero must always give some type of speech at the climax of the movie or punch the villain, or his/her love interest punches the villain.

[xwolverine2]

in a comedy...when the villain is foreighn and cant talk perfect english the hero always mocks the villains speech.

[The Hero]

Badass characters (especially villains) always dispense random mythological,historical,and philosophical tidbits.Example:

*Hitman shoots guy in chest*

"You know,the ancient Sumerians believed that blood came from the tears of a giant serpent..."
Corollary:These characters will often tell needlessly long stories in order to get a very simple point across,i.e. spending four minutes on a story about the early Roman empire in order to say "I'm disappointed in your work performance" or "I have something important to say".(Collateral,Lost)

[huskerwebhead]

Probably already said, but anytime there is some new advanced robot or AI system it always seems to get a shock or struck by lightning or something electrical that makes it go haywire and come "alive." You'd think by now people would start insulating these things from electric shock.