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View Full Version : Things Spider-Man would NEVER say.


DarkKnightJRK
12-05-2004, 05:42 PM
Spun-off from the Batman version over on the BB boards, what are some stuff that you'll never hear Spidey say? Here's some ideas:

"Man, Gwen deserved to die."

"I have aracnidphobia."

"I've had enough of this Spider stuff, now you can call me...PINK BUNNY-MAN!!!"

Let's hear some more! :D

The Joker
12-05-2004, 06:02 PM
"Jonah Jameson always prints the truth in his paper" :p :D

ock220
12-05-2004, 06:14 PM
"Can you sew my Spider-man suit Aunt May." :D ;)

American_Hobo
12-05-2004, 06:48 PM
I love you Mr.Jameson

NeonMessiah
12-05-2004, 07:52 PM
"Wanna see my webshooter?"


"Does this costume make my butt look big?"



(To the NY Beautification Society) "Webs? What webs?"



"Look! Up in the sky......."



"Where does he get those wonderful toys?"



"I lasted two minutes with Bone Saw, and only 30 seconds with Mary Jane ... hmm, there may be more to liking spandex than I thought....."



"I'm thinking of fighting crime in the country...."



yadda yadda yadda! lol

American_Hobo
12-05-2004, 07:57 PM
I'm better than Superman

Dagon22
12-05-2004, 08:11 PM
"I'm afraid of heights..."
"Man, I so totally look exactly like a spider."
"Something's tingling, but it's not my spider sense..."
"I'm just using MJ for the free cake. God, is that good cake..."
----------------------------------------------------
-I swear to God, you've got knickers on your head!

American_Hobo
12-05-2004, 08:18 PM
Man, she looks bettet than Mary Jane....

I can kick Superman's *ss

Do I looks sexy with these tights?

DarkKnightJRK
12-05-2004, 08:25 PM
"(To Wolverine) We're all over in the Marvel Universe, why don't we get all over EACH OTHER?!" *smooch smooch*

It's sick, twisted, and wrong, I know, which is the reason why I like it. :D

Spike_x1
12-05-2004, 09:49 PM
Peter: "I hope you like it at the old folk's home Aunt May"

Carnage: "I think I need therapy."

Osborn: "I guess Peter Parker isn't really such a bad guy after all."

Venom: "Can I have your autograph, Spider-man?"

American_Hobo
12-06-2004, 08:34 AM
Venom: "Can I have your autograph, Spider-man?"[/QUOTE]

good one

iminsane31
12-06-2004, 08:40 AM
"Who am I? I'm man-spider." :D

Dark Carnage
12-06-2004, 08:49 AM
"It's a good job Uncle Ben died when he did, I was running out of excuses for what all those magazines under my bed were for."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v113/Vegenom/Smilies/shifty.gif

American_Hobo
12-06-2004, 08:54 AM
"It's a good job Uncle Ben died when he did, I was running out of excuses for what all those magazines under my bed were for."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v113/Vegenom/Smilies/shifty.gif

good one

Elijya
12-06-2004, 09:07 AM
Venom: "I want to eat your brains - with some fava beans and a nice chianti."

American_Hobo
12-06-2004, 09:17 AM
Eddie Brock :
Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words.
With great power comes great responsibility, this is my gift, my curse.
Who am I? I'm Venom - Man.

General_Grievous
12-06-2004, 11:30 AM
"I am the real Peter Parker, and Aunt May was my clone!"

Bat Brain
12-06-2004, 12:24 PM
''so ock, are you hiding any other tentacles that i should know about?'' ;)

General_Grievous
12-06-2004, 12:29 PM
"it rides up in the crotch a little bit...wait, i dont have a crotch"

Venom Drool
12-06-2004, 02:29 PM
"mary jane...i'm....im gay"
"what?"
"hahah im kidding kidding...just bi..just bi...no worries..."

American_Hobo
12-06-2004, 03:04 PM
"mary jane...i'm....im gay"
"what?"
"hahah im kidding kidding...just bi..just bi...no worries..."
good one

CConn
12-06-2004, 03:15 PM
"mary jane...i'm....im gay"
"what?"
"hahah im kidding kidding...just bi..just bi...no worries..." ...for some reason, it reminds me of Jayne. :o

Silver Sable
12-06-2004, 03:33 PM
Please exuse my language but here's what he'll DEFINITELY not say........

1. F***
2. S***
3. Hell
4. Ass
5. Damn
6. B***h

Alexia Dark
12-06-2004, 03:37 PM
...for some reason, it reminds me of Jayne. :o
Well, we both know that reason...

Any way, back on topic...

Peter: How you doin'?

(I know, it's lame, but I don't care.)

American_Hobo
12-06-2004, 03:49 PM
Peter Parker : Give me all your money right now

CConn
12-06-2004, 04:47 PM
Well, we both know that reason... Yup. She says "no worries" all the time! :up:

:p

Spike_x1
12-06-2004, 05:04 PM
Venom: "I want to eat your brains - with some fava beans and a nice chianti."Something similar at the bottom right.
http://img76.exs.cx/img76/7617/s7nvenom2.jpg

American_Hobo
12-06-2004, 05:14 PM
Something similar at the bottom right.
http://img76.exs.cx/img76/7617/s7nvenom2.jpg

cool picture you got there

Venom Drool
12-06-2004, 05:25 PM
...for some reason, it reminds me of Jayne. :o
i miss her :(

Spike_x1
12-06-2004, 05:41 PM
I had had only a couple conversations with her in the past, but she seemed nice enough. Why was she banned?

Bat Brain
12-06-2004, 05:50 PM
^^^ i think it was for being Racist and Homophobic.

anyway, back on topic ''hey ock, are those tentacles fused to your body, or are you just pleased to see me?

DarkKnightJRK
12-06-2004, 05:55 PM
Eddie Brock :
Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words.
With great power comes great responsibility, this is my gift, my curse.
Who am I? I'm Venom - Man.

Reminds me of something I read on somebody's sig here:

Venom-Man, Venom-Man
Your friendly symbiote Venom-Man
Spins a web, any size
Catches thieves, and makes them die
Watch out!
Here comes the Venom-Man!

Go God Go!
12-06-2004, 06:43 PM
EDITED!

American_Hobo
12-06-2004, 11:06 PM
JJJ : Make a headline Robbie, "Spiderman's back, our hero has returned"

Lighthouse
12-06-2004, 11:10 PM
Peter Parker: You know what? F**k you Uncle Ben!!! You can take your "great responsibility" and shove it up your a$$!!!

Spider-Man: With great power comes great savings!!!:D

American_Hobo
12-06-2004, 11:15 PM
Peter Parker: You know what? F**k you Uncle Ben!!! You can take your "great responsibility" and shove it up your a$$!!!

Spider-Man: With great power comes great savings!!!:D

good one;)

American_Hobo
12-06-2004, 11:16 PM
Peter Parker : Harry, I wll tell you the truth about what happened between me and your dad.
I.....slept with him...

Venom_uk
12-07-2004, 01:37 PM
Reminds me of something I read on somebody's sig here:

Venom-Man, Venom-Man
Your friendly symbiote Venom-Man
Spins a web, any size
Catches thieves, and makes them die
Watch out!
Here comes the Venom-Man!
That would be me! :D
Peter Parker: You know what? F**k you Uncle Ben!!! You can take your "great responsibility" and shove it up your a$$!!!
LMFAO! Oh, now that one I like :D:up:

The Joker
12-07-2004, 01:57 PM
"Ock can I be best man at your wedding to my Aunt?"

Silver Sable
12-07-2004, 02:07 PM
Peter Parker: You know what? F**k you Uncle Ben!!! You can take your "great responsibility" and shove it up your a$$!!!

Spider-Man: With great power comes great savings!!!:D

Eh.......that's messed up but it's still mad funny! LOL!!!!!!

Venom_uk
12-07-2004, 02:16 PM
Venom (to Carnage) "I love you son. Now come here & give your old man a nice big hug."

Spider-man: "Oh screw it. Let Ironman save the world....I'm staying in bed....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

MJ: "Why don't you invite that nice Felica Hardy round for dinner sometime Peter?"

American_Hobo
12-07-2004, 04:20 PM
Shocker : Hey Static Shock,let me borrow your trash can..

Bat Brain
12-07-2004, 07:28 PM
Sandman: ''Uh oh, i sure hope that's wet sand in my knickers''

Venom_uk
12-08-2004, 02:12 PM
Carnage: "Rain drops keep falling on my head. Just like the guy whos feet are to big for his bed. La la la la la..."

Peter (to MJ in bed): "You know that thing you just did with your...& my...?Gwen use to do EXACTLY the same thing!"*

Rhino: "Check out the size of my horn ladies!"

*ignore 'Sins Past' for that one to work.

The Joker
12-08-2004, 02:25 PM
Black Cat:"Peter have you seen my pussy?"

Venom_uk
12-08-2004, 02:27 PM
Rhino (singing): "I'm horny, horny, horny, horny. So horny. Horny, horny, horny all night long..."

Black Cat: "Do these look real too you?!?"

Electro: "I have the coolest costume in the world!"

Venom_uk
12-08-2004, 02:29 PM
Black Cat:"Peter have you seen my pussy?"
:eek:

Hahahaha! Love it :D:up:

American_Hobo
12-08-2004, 03:09 PM
Black Cat:"Peter have you seen my pussy?"

best one so farhttp://www.superherohype.com/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif

SpyderBurning
12-08-2004, 04:43 PM
Spidey: "You know, that Norman Osborne isn't such a bad guy after all."
"Holy hell, its my most fearsome enemy, its The Shocker!!"
"Every now and then, when its raining, I find myself missing Kraven the Hunter"

American_Hobo
12-08-2004, 05:54 PM
Peter Parkker : "Venom? He's just a wanna-be Spiderman"

spider-venom 1
12-12-2004, 01:55 PM
spiderman: the hulks my b*tch

Venom Drool
12-12-2004, 02:48 PM
i smell corn in this thread

Karem-Knight
12-12-2004, 03:17 PM
spidey: my life is great

CConn
12-12-2004, 05:37 PM
< My avatar. :up:

The Joker
12-12-2004, 05:39 PM
LMAO! :D

Nice one CConn

Chris Wallace
12-12-2004, 07:11 PM
Despite what James Cameron thinks:
"I'll kill you, mother****er! You're dead, you sick b*****d!!!"

Spider-Man Luvr28
12-12-2004, 09:03 PM
Black Cat:"Peter have you seen my pussy?"
lmao!!I actually laughed out loud for that!:up::up:

Super Saiyan
12-12-2004, 09:27 PM
Venom: "Gene Simmons is my hero!"

Doc Ock: "Damn, science is a hard subject."

Spidey: "Sam, we've gotta stop ripping-off Superman."

Saph
12-13-2004, 10:14 AM
''You know, maybe I should just get over Uncle Ben's and Gwen Stacy's death.''

''Who cares if Jameson died, MJ? He's just gonna come back anyway.''

Venom_uk
12-13-2004, 02:50 PM
LMFAO!

Cconn, your avatar rocks! :D:up:

The Amazing Lee
12-19-2004, 04:27 AM
"I'm not saving him, he's got a big nose."

Wolverazio
12-19-2004, 05:28 PM
"Man, I never see Wolverine anymore. I wonder what he's up to?"

Citizen_Kaine
12-19-2004, 06:20 PM
"Where the **** is Kaine!"

DarkKnightJRK
12-20-2004, 09:59 PM
Spidey: (talking to Doctor Octopus) Man, you must be seriously over-compensating...

Spider-Hiker
12-23-2004, 03:59 AM
"MJ, will you please pop this huge zit on my back?"

Silver Sable
12-23-2004, 12:47 PM
I think I better tell Mary Jane about the affair with Black Cat

Spider-Hiker
12-23-2004, 08:13 PM
Aunt May, did I just fart?

Bat Brain
12-23-2004, 09:09 PM
Spider-man: uh oh. my spidey-sense is tingling. to the SPider-Mobile

Silver Sable
12-23-2004, 11:20 PM
Black Cat:"Peter have you seen my pussy?"

That's nasty

Venom_uk
12-24-2004, 12:39 PM
That's nasty
But yet, still very funny ;):up:

Silver Sable
12-25-2004, 10:11 PM
But yet, still very funny ;):up:

It's funny but still.........it's gross.lol

DarkKnightJRK
12-26-2004, 12:27 PM
It's funny but still.........it's gross.lol

Pussy is gross? Heh. News to me. :o

Chris Wallace
12-30-2004, 10:43 PM
"Good work, old chum."
"Well, Punisher, it was great working with you."

DarkKnightJRK
01-01-2005, 03:32 PM
"Good work, old chum."
"Well, Punisher, it was great working with you."

Spider-Man (to Punisher): Is that a .357 Magnum in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ;)

Chris Wallace
01-01-2005, 06:37 PM
"The one thing I'm missing is a cape."

Chris Wallace
01-01-2005, 06:38 PM
Spider-Man (to Punisher): Is that a .357 Magnum in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? ;)
Actually, he might say that one.

Bat Brain
01-01-2005, 08:57 PM
Spider-Man: Maybe i should find a sidekick who dresses in bright colours and is called after a bird. Like that batman guy did.

Chris Wallace
01-01-2005, 11:03 PM
Spider-Man: Maybe i should find a sidekick who dresses in bright colours and is called after a bird. Like that batman guy did.
Another one I wouldn't rule out. Maybe the title of this thread should've been "Things Spider-Man would never say & mean." :)

Swordmaster
01-02-2005, 10:35 AM
SM:Aunt May?
AM:Yes?
SM: WHY WON'T YOU DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hulkamania85
01-06-2005, 10:08 AM
To Black Cat: "Have you put on a few pounds? Two words: Jenny Craig."

Wait a sec, he did say that. Spider-Man definitely likes to say things others wouldn't. Okay, he wouldn't say that line to MJ.

The Navigator
01-06-2005, 02:12 PM
Spider-Man: "Ditto," you provincial putz?

Spider-Man: Now repeat after me: "I..."
Crowd: I...
Spider-Man: Your name...
Crowd: Your name...
Spider-Man: Shmucks.

Spider-Man: You men will only be risking you lives....while I will be risking an almost certain academy award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

The Navigator
01-06-2005, 02:19 PM
Venom: AHH! What was that?
(leaps into Spider-Man's arms. spidey begins to comfort him)
Spider-Man: Easy, Eddie, it's just a man and a horse being hung....(begins singing a lullaby)

Doc Ock: Work, work work, work work work...(looks at BC's boobies) Hello boys, how was your day? I missed you.
Spider-Man: Just sign this.
Doc Ock: What the hell is this?
Spider-Man: Oh, this will turn the Stan Lee Institute for the Insane into the Otto Octavius Memorial Gambling Bar and Casino for the Insane.
Doc Ock: Gentlemen! This will be a giant leap forward in the treatment of the insane gambler.

(Luke Cage and Iron fist, disguised as KKK members, come up to Spider-Man's little sign-up table)
Spider-Man: State your criminal record.
Cage: Stampeding cattle.
Spider-Man: That's not much of a crime.
Cage: Through the vatican?
Spider-Man: Kinky! Sign here.
(Cage forgets his skin color and reaches out to sign)
Fist: Why Rhett! I thought I told you to wash regularly after your weekly cross-burning! (wipes at Cage's skin) See, it's comin' off.

Bat Brain
01-06-2005, 02:28 PM
^^^ :D

Doc Ock: (At McDonalds Drive-Thru) Hi ummm, i'd like a Big-Mac and super-size it please. Actually, you know what, i'll just have small fries. I'm trying to watch my weight.

The Navigator
01-06-2005, 02:34 PM
Spider-Man: Allow myself to introduce....myself.


Venom: I'm sorry, I thought you said your name was "Alotta Fachina."


Peter: Ock....do you really expect them to pay?
Doc Ock: Why no, Mr. Parker, I expect them to die.

Doc Ock: You may notice, Mr. Parker, that the pool is filled with sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. I figure every animal deserves a warm meal...
Nick Fury: Uh, sir? We were unable to get sharks. What with the red tape and environmental groups, it just couldn't be done.
Doc Ock:....OK, I have just one simple request here, and that is for sharks with frickin' laser beams! Now, apparently, my cycloptic advisor tells me we can't even have that. So...what do we have?
Fury: Mutated sea bass.
Doc Ock:.....right....are they ill-tempered sea bass?
Fury: Oh, absolutely.
Doc Ock: Well, that's a start. Begin the ridiculously slow dipping mechnism! And close the doors!
Cyclops: Wait a minute....you're not even going to see them die?
Doc Ock: No, I'm not actually going to see their demise, I'm just going to close the doors, go about my business, and assume everything went according to plan. What?
Cyclops: I have a gun in my room. Just give me five minutes--
Doc Ock: Scott....you just...don't get it, do you?
Cyclops: Look, just--
Doc Ock: Shh!
Cyclops: But if you just--
Doc Ock: Shh!
Cyclops: But--
Doc Ock: Let me tell you a little story about a man named SHH!
Cyclops: If you'd just--
Doc Ock: Knock knock.
Cyclops: Who's there?
Doc Ock: Shh! And Shh! That was a pre-emptive shh. Just want you to know I have a whole bag of "shh" with your name on it right here.

The Navigator
01-06-2005, 02:52 PM
Doc Ock: Kaine! Let's step outside!
Carolyn Trainer: YOU!! GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE OBSOLETE!!

(Spidey and Venom confronted by a thief with a gun)
Spidey: Venom, wake up!
Venom (to crook): Good morning!
(bullets impact harmlessly on the symbiote)
Spidey: What are you doing? Take him out!
Venom: (to crook) I think we should talk!
(Spidey knocks his gun out of the way with a web-ball, which causes a bullet to kill the crook)
Spidey: What's WITH you?
(goes into convenience store, where a bloody Xavier is surrounded by X-men and an empty, looted store)
Spidey: Where'd they go?
Xavier (thickly): Where'd they go? They're still here! The little bastards!
Spidey: Hands up! Nobody move!
(He hears something outside and sees Venom holding the dead guy and pointing at him)
Venom: You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law...
Spidey: He's dead, Venom.
Venom: You have the right to an attorney...
Spidey: You're reading miranda to a corpse!
(Venom looks from the dead guy to Spider-Man, drops the dead guy, and steeples his fingers)
Venom: I'm having....trouble.

Chris Wallace
01-08-2005, 10:47 PM
Any...original ones?

The Navigator
01-08-2005, 10:53 PM
Yes, actually.


Spider-Man: See, I always thought of you as the "Juliet" of my love life, Gwen. Always *****in' and gettin' yourself killed...



Doc Ock: You have mocked me for the second to the last time, Spider-Man!



GG: Hellloooooooooo, JMS.....
JMS: Oh, dear God. Put some pants on.
GG: Don't you like me this way...?

DarkKnightJRK
01-09-2005, 04:41 PM
Black Cat:"Peter have you seen my pussy?"

Continuing:

Peter: I have among other private regions; just don't tell MJ about it.

Chris Wallace
09-22-2006, 03:07 PM
"I am completely confident that Iron Man has my best interests at heart, & I have no fear that mJ or Aunt May will be brutally murdered because I listened to him."

Chris Wallace
09-26-2006, 03:29 PM
If I'd known about Gwen & Norman I would've thrown her off that bridge my damn self!

redmarvel
10-02-2006, 03:16 PM
I'm going to pick a couple of lines from a song for this one:

"It's worse than that, he's dead Jim"
"We come in peace, shoot to kill"
"There's Klingons on the starboard bow"
"It's life, Jim, but not as we know it"

(Star Trekkin' by the Firm)

redmarvel
10-03-2006, 07:46 AM
"I'm going to use Doctor Doom's time platform to join the Two-Gun Kid and clean up the old west. I'm fed up with NY"

November Rain
10-03-2006, 08:02 AM
To Sandman: You're a real sonnuva BEACH:mad:

freemadison
10-16-2006, 06:15 AM
"I am completely confident that Iron Man has my best interests at heart, & I have no fear that mJ or Aunt May will be brutally murdered because I listened to him."

But isn't that what he actually said/did? :woot:

Anyways...

Spidey: Oh my god...I think i'm degenerating!....
MJ: Oh m...
Spidey: Just kidding. Dumb *****. I'm REAL!

Spidey: Honey, you gotta see this. Norman's myspace is hilarious!

Clerk: Stop! Thief!
Spidey: Hey buddy, not my problem.

3dman27
10-16-2006, 06:50 AM
its an IRON MAN WORLD and i'm just xXx:ninja:

Chris Wallace
10-16-2006, 11:03 AM
But isn't that what he actually said/did? :woot:
Which is why I put it there.

Chris Wallace
10-16-2006, 11:30 AM
"You know what we call that? We call that a web-slingin' ass-kickin'!"

redmarvel
10-16-2006, 11:43 AM
"Say hello to my little friend"... (can you picture ANY context in which you would WANT PP/SM to say this... NOT EVEN in a bedroom clutch with MJ would this be appropriate)

3dman27
11-11-2006, 05:35 AM
spidey on hearing there's going to be a movie about him[the movie within a movie]
"personally i'd rather see an IRON MAN flick i'd LOVE to work for someone like HIM"

Cyclops
11-14-2006, 12:39 AM
"My name is Peter Parker, and I've been Spider-Man since I was fifteen years old."

3dman27
11-14-2006, 03:45 AM
he DID say that,under the influence of mind control nanotech i think

Cyclops
11-15-2006, 10:59 PM
No, he didn't say that. Joe Quesada said it. He was throwing his voice in Spider-Man's direction to make us think he said it. But Spider-Man would never in a million years have said that. Ever. Unless he was in front of a mirror.

3dman27
11-23-2006, 07:04 AM
dear mr. quesada
due to your instructions to marvel writers to portray me as a bungleing incompetent i must resign from the marvel universe effective imeadiatly
my wife andi will be moving to the DCuniverse after the thanksgiving holiday
peter richard parker AKA spider-man

Chris Wallace
11-24-2006, 11:52 AM
I thought his middle name was Benjamin.

3dman27
11-24-2006, 11:53 AM
it might be

3dman27
11-24-2006, 11:55 AM
i can't recall if i've used this or no but
"its an IRON MAN world and i'm just H.E.R.B.I.E. THE ROBOT"

spdpink
11-28-2006, 12:15 PM
I've got a wedgie dodging the green goblin and I can't find a place to stop and sort it out!

Scissors
11-28-2006, 12:19 PM
Spider-Man: Eddie,I'm Batman!
Eddie: no you're not...
Spider-Man: Oh! you're right!
Eddie: ...
Spider-Man: Eddie,I'm Robin!
Eddie: ...And i thought i was dumb...

spdpink
11-28-2006, 12:26 PM
lol Tom

Peter Parker: It's Morphin time! Spiderman! (looks and sees nothing happen!)
I said "It's Morphin time! It works on TV but not for me!

(How dumb can I guy get)

Scissors
11-28-2006, 12:32 PM
lol Tom

Peter Parker: It's Morphin time! Spiderman! (looks and sees nothing happen!)
I said "It's Morphin time! It works on TV but not for me!

(How dumb can I guy get)

My Turn on this one!

Peter: It's Spider Time!
Harry: Goblin Emergency!
Peter: Huh?! Huh?!
Harry: It Works!!
Peter: Not for me! C'mon! It's Spider Time! C'mon!!!!!
Harry: *pushes the button on Peters Cell Phone*
Peter: It Works!
Harry: D'oh!

spdpink
11-28-2006, 12:43 PM
why u scive of me Tom *cries*

Peter Parker: Aracnid Source! Spider Force!
Norman Osborne: Toxic Source! Goblin Force!
Peter Parker: Mine worked yours didn't hahaha! (Moons Norman)
Ever swinging like a spider! Mystical Spiderman!
Norman Osborne: Stop that! (runs away crying)
Peter Parker: Ha ha ha
Udonna: uhum (Mystical Spiderman turns), you've had your fun now handover
my wand ( spiderman does as told and returns to normal spiderman) Now get lost!
Peter Parker web lsings off head hung low
Udonna: Spiders hmm!

redmarvel
11-28-2006, 12:52 PM
I want my mommy

Chris Wallace
11-28-2006, 01:58 PM
Quesada! Time to give the Spider his due!

3dman27
12-07-2006, 12:17 PM
Quesada! Time to give the Spider his due!
thats something spidey's fans have to sayFOR him:spidey:

3dman27
12-23-2006, 06:54 AM
spidey"i wish i lived in the dc universe sometimes"
mj"how come?"
spidey "simple fixing my bad rep looks like a job for SUPERMAN"

3dman27
01-04-2007, 06:14 AM
here's one i KOW he'd never say
"fans i'm sorry but marvel is going to downgrade or discontiue me altogether i respectfully suggest you start reading[choke]IRON MAN"

Redwoods Wolf
01-04-2007, 08:36 PM
Remember that issue where the little kid was dying from luekemia (sp?) and Spider-Man dropped in to visit him? This is how it never would have gone...

Spider-Man: Hey, Timmy!
Timmy: Is that you, Spider-Man?
Spider-Man: Yep. And you know what THIS is?
Timmy: What?
Spider-Man: A DRIVER'S LICENCE! Something you'll NEVER have! And sex. You'll never have that, either.
Timmy: (barely restrained sobbing) Will you tell me who you are? I've wanted to know for--
Spider-Man: No! Freak! Why the H3LL would I do that? You think I care that you're dying? You'd tell the little nurse who comes in to change your bedpans, I know you would!
Timmy: I wouldn't, I swear!
Spider-Man: All right, you know what, kid? I'm gonna do you a favor. You ever see One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest?
Timmy: Maybe...
Spider-Man: What about the end?
Timmy:....No....
Spider-Man: Then this'll be a nice big surprise...

(I know I misspelled licence, but oh, well)

Arkady Rossovich
01-04-2007, 09:00 PM
*Spider-Man steps up to a podium,instead of taking his mask off,he says this* "Joe Quesada and Bendis are the greatest force at Marvel Comics."


:cmad: :wow:

Redwoods Wolf
01-05-2007, 08:14 PM
Spider-Man: Hey, Uncle Ben!
UB: Peter...it's been a long time.
Spider-Man: Getting shot hurts, doesn't it?
UB: ...yes. But about you. Do you remember what I taught you as a child?
Spider-Man:....uh....
UB: Well?
Spider-Man: ..."Serve the Public Trust, Protect the Innocent, Uphold the Law?"

unrealman
01-13-2007, 03:42 AM
Test ( superman gets dick on)

Spider-Man: Faster than a speeding bullet , more powerful than a loco motive , able to leap a tall bulid in a singal bound. It's Super Spidey strange vist from another planet with powers far beyond those of mortal men.

Clark Kent: Uh parker your just Spiderman not Super Spidey, and did you even ask me premisson before you rip of lines from one of my shows.

Spider-man shut up Clark your just jealous that this costume looks better on me then it does on you.

Clark Kent: wait how did you get a hold of my suit.

Spider-Man: a stole it while you where making sweet love to bruce.

Clark Kent: that's a flithy lie spidey i am not in love with bruce.

Spider-man or is it , i have photo's that suggest otherwise.

Clark Kent: your bluffing , you don't have any photo's with me and batman making out.

Spider-Man: maybe I do maybe I don't , but i am going to show them to the whole world if you don't do one little thing for me.

Clark Kent: and what's that ?

Spider-man: get on your knees on woshiper me as your all powerful Savior *****.

Clark Kent: What

Spider-man a said down on your knees *****


pulls out a rock of Gold K. and Clark drops to his knees.


Spider-Man now that's more like it ***** now begin woshiping me. yes that's it woship the mighty Spider-Man rule of the cosmos. hmm now if I can only find a pope hat.

J. J. Jameson
01-13-2007, 04:53 PM
Please exuse my language but here's what he'll DEFINITELY not say........

1. F***
2. S***
3. Hell
4. Ass
5. Damn
6. B***h

He's said quite a few of those actually.

venom628
01-20-2007, 10:14 AM
i hate you mary jane!:cmad: :trans:

Spider-Bite
01-20-2007, 10:36 AM
Spidey: Vote for Bush!

DACMAN
01-23-2007, 06:33 PM
"Does this costume make my butt look big?"








He said that in Spider-Man 2 the game.:woot:

The Master Planner
06-07-2008, 05:11 AM
Dr. Otto Octavius: I'm going to need to readjust my calculations, because if I proceed with this experiment, it will likely blow up in my face.

spida-man
06-07-2008, 02:08 PM
Please exuse my language but here's what he'll DEFINITELY not say........

1. F***
2. S***
3. Hell
4. Ass
5. Damn
6. B***h
well actually he has said some of those in the comics before lol

spida-man
06-07-2008, 02:20 PM
"You know what we call that? We call that a web-slingin' ass-kickin'!"
LMAO!

I couldn't believe my ears when I first heard him say that.

3dman27
06-08-2008, 05:09 AM
tha new hairstylist mj told me aboutis pretty good he does good work and when he stopped those salon robbers last friday,MAN don't mess with the ZOHAN

Michael Frost
06-08-2008, 09:10 AM
"How do I shot web?"

MrQuinn
06-12-2008, 06:33 AM
he'd probably NEVER say...


"Oh no the elephants have eaten my grapes and are now flushing ham sandwiches down the toilet while wearing green suspenders that mildly glow in the dark!"

Alexia Dark
06-12-2008, 12:38 PM
"I complete approve of being made to look like an arrogant, self-serving jerk who clearly didn't remember Uncle Ben's parting words in Spider-Man 3. Oh, and Topher Grace was a great choice to play Venom. The character parallel was very evident. We were both obsessive jackasses."

:cmad: :rolleyes:

Styleshift
06-12-2008, 12:47 PM
well actually he has said some of those in the comics before lol

lol...he's said 3-6.

and YES during sins past he said the b word during his fight with the grey goblin. lol.

spida-man
06-12-2008, 01:20 PM
lol...he's said 3-6.

and YES during sins past he said the b word during his fight with the grey goblin. lol.
Nice
Spidey is a bad @$$

spida-man
06-12-2008, 01:21 PM
"I complete approve of being made to look like an arrogant, self-serving jerk who clearly didn't remember Uncle Ben's parting words in Spider-Man 3. Oh, and Topher Grace was a great choice to play Venom. The character parallel was very evident. We were both obsessive jackasses."

:cmad: :rolleyes:
Stop hatting on SM3 already lol

Alexia Dark
06-12-2008, 02:41 PM
Stop hatting on SM3 already lol

Nevah! :cmad:

I'm merely replying to the topic :o.

SpideyLad
06-12-2008, 02:43 PM
Stop hatting on SM3 already lol

Hatting? What about scarfing? or Bereting?

I'll get my coat...:csad:

Alexia Dark
06-12-2008, 02:45 PM
Hatting? What about scarfing? or Bereting?

I'll get my coat...:csad:

*hugs*

I needed that laugh.

SpideyLad
06-12-2008, 02:46 PM
*hugs*

I needed that laugh.

Anytime. :yay:

Anyway, did you want that banner done? If you PM me the details now, I might have something done for tomorrow.

Styleshift
06-12-2008, 03:30 PM
The way things were going in BND.
If Bob Gale ever gets his chance spidey will start saying: drrruuuuuugggssss!!!! :hehe:

spida-man
06-12-2008, 04:05 PM
Hatting? What about scarfing? or Bereting?

I'll get my coat...:csad:
lol

The Master Planner
06-12-2008, 06:08 PM
"Spider-Man 3 is a modern cinematic classic and shall surely be ranked as the best superhero movie in recent history"

spida-man
06-12-2008, 06:56 PM
"Spider-Man 3 is a modern cinematic classic and shall surely be ranked as the best superhero movie in recent history"
whioch is the truth
but honestly ppl can't we stop with the SM3 bashing please?

The Master Planner
06-13-2008, 12:22 AM
I still think Sam Raimi owes me my $7.50 and am willing to take a bus all the way from my home in Northern California to whereever he lives to ask for my ticket money back, just as Stan and Kenny did to Mel Gibson in "The Passion of the Jew." I still think SM3 sucked, and sucked hard.

But then again, I might be just biased in favor of Spider-Man 2. (See my username.)

Finlandman
06-13-2008, 04:35 AM
whioch is the truth
but honestly ppl can't we stop with the SM3 bashing please?

Because we want to let out the steam that movie caused.

The Navigator
06-16-2008, 08:02 PM
"Well, MJ, Felicia...I'm not sure of the exact pronunciation, but I believe it's...menage a trois."

Jack O Lantern
06-18-2008, 08:17 AM
"Mr. Zulu set a course for Radulan 5"

fu manchu
06-18-2008, 11:11 AM
"you know what this costume needs are nipples"

Troy_Parker
06-18-2008, 12:55 PM
I Like Big Butts & I Cannot Lie

3dman27
06-18-2008, 02:35 PM
spidey"felicia are you ready"?
felicia "yes
spidey"mj are you ready?
my"yes
spidey"FIGHT"

The Master Planner
06-18-2008, 03:29 PM
"Who am I to lower your self-esteem by trying to keep you from blowing up the city, Otto? You're just expressing your individuality. So go for it!"

Silver Spider
06-18-2008, 03:43 PM
"How about a taste of Spider-punch?":cwink:

spida-man
06-18-2008, 05:18 PM
"How about a taste of Spider-punch?":cwink:
lol nice

spida-man
06-18-2008, 05:19 PM
Because we want to let out the steam that movie caused.
the movie didn't do anything wrong..not completely anyway.
but seriously the SM3 bashing has gotten pretty old.

Arach Knight
06-18-2008, 06:35 PM
"Mephisto...i'll give you my marriage if you can just save Aunt May..."

whoops...too late on that one.

Styleshift
06-18-2008, 11:06 PM
"I only have eyes for you Mr. Quesada..."

Orest
06-22-2008, 10:19 PM
Green Goblin is my best friend

Venom is stronger and would do better with MJ

Aunt May should have died when I made that deal with Mephisto

I quit being SpiderMan

I only like MJ cause of her a$$

MrQuinn
06-23-2008, 05:51 PM
"Mephisto...i'll give you my marriage if you can just save Aunt May..."

whoops...too late on that one.


Nice.

Arach Knight
06-24-2008, 09:34 PM
Nice.

I'm an aspiring writer. It's what I do. I've also got this one...


Daredevil: "I'm still trying to find out why I can't remember..."

Spider-Man: "What?"

Daredevil: "I still can't believe you took off your mask on live television..."

Spider-Man: "And I still can't believe it's not butter."

Except that one sounds more like something Spidey would say.