Batman Quotes: The Best of the Best

[DarkKnightJRK]

Post quotes from Batman (or other characters in the Bat-verse) that you like: be it funny, touching, or just plain badass.

Here's a few from Broken City:

"Now, longly hearts and Sunday School teachers like to say that the rain is the tears of God. But God doesn't bother to cry on Gotham. This rain? If it coems from Him...it's not His tears."

"Out the window...onto the street. The street...and into my head. My head. Crash. Bang bang. Ka-boom. Gunshots? Thunder? Or just God...laughing at me again?"

Allen: What are you doing?
Bruce: Grilling.
Allen: Who?
Bruce: A steak.
Allen: You cook?
Bruce: No, I grill. It helps me relax.
Allen: Grilling a steak to relax? But a prime piece of meat has to be just right, not under--or God forbid--overdone. It is. And there's no sause known to mankind--or the French--that could hide the fact that the chef's to blame. That makes a steak the most stressful thing to cook, you know?
Bruce: I know.

Batman: You know how accidents happen, Jonny? Guys--guys like you--get careless, forget what's dangerous in a place like this. Next thing they know, they're in the emergence room, one hand wrapped in a sticky, wet shirt, the other clutching a bag full of ice and little pieces of themselves. It's a shame too, because it could be prevented, if they'd just paid attention...to what's really dangerous.

Batman: "A man without fear...is a LIAR. Truth is, EVERYBODY'S afraid of SOMETHING. I've successfully spent more time than money making sure EVERYBODY'S afraid of ME. Afraid of me. EVERYBODY'S afraid of SOMETHING. What am I afraid of? It's not spider's the dark, losing...LOSING...or even death. But DREAMING.
SOMETIMES when I dream, the gun goes "bang bang"..but he MISSES. Or BEFORE the 'bang bang' I act. I know EXACTLY the right bundle of nerves I need to squeeze to make him drop the gun. Which he does, but I keep squeezing, more pressure, more pressure...waiting for the nauseating POP...and when it comes, I know he'll NEVER be able to hold a gun ever again...and I'll be held by arms that I've NEVER been held by SINCE.
And SOMETIMES, it's not just a 'bang bang', but a...bang bang...BANG. And we're TOGETHER. But it's just a LIE. A DREAM...that WON'T come TRUE.

Scarface: See, I jus' got off da blower with da boid an' he says the Bat's woids is GOSPEL.
Rosie: The Bat? Since when does the DEVIL tell the TRUTH?

Batman: "tonight, three inmates simultaneously stuck their arms up wher the sun NEVER shines and pull their GUTS into the LIGHT of day."

Batman: "The rain seemed to be letting up, coming down in DRIBBLES and SHAKES--meanin God was done with Gotham. I appreciated that His timing couldn't have been WORSE for me, but I felt lucky to find a broken gutter, so I could HIDE the stream runnign down my face. And as the sun, that had been too afraid to show its face in this scity, started to turn the black into grey, I SMILED. Not out of HAPPINESS, but because I KNEW...
...That one day, I WOULDN'T have to do THIS anymore. One day, I could stop fightng, because one day...I would WIN. One day, there will be NO PAIN, NO LOSS...NO CRIME. Because of ME, because I FIGHT. For YOU. One day, I WILL win.
I HOPE, for YOUR sake, that day is TOMORROW..."

[spdrknight]

Nice quotes man

[Phantasm]

BEAUTIFUL quotes.Hadn't heard of them before.

"My parents taught me a different lesson.Lying on the street,shaking with deep shock, they showed me that the world only makes sense when you force it to."

"The wolf howls. I know how it feels."

Batman is such a beautifully tragic character.

[BatmanRules33]

are we doing quotes just from the comics?

[Antonello Blueberry]

"I know pain. Sometimes I share it. With someone like you"

[DarkKnightJRK]

are we doing quotes just from the comics?

Nah, if it was just comics, then I'd just put it on the comics forum. Just put good Batman quotes, be it from the comics, television, cartoons, or whatever.

[Phantasm]

"Guy who dresses up like a bat CLEARLY has issues!"

[Batfan14]

Batman: "He Fell."

-Hush

[DarkKnightJRK]

From Justice League International:

Blue Beetle: ...You think maybe it's too late to petition for a new Green Lantern? Hey, Bats--mabe you could wear the ring...
Batman: It would only get in my way.
Blue Beetle: ...Yeah...besides, who'd ever buy a super-hero called the "Green Batman"? I mean, that's almost as dumb as--
Batman: The Blue Beetle?
Blue Beetle: Well...um...ah...

Blue Beetle: You have any idea how many hours we've been here...
Batman: Nine-point-two hours.
Blue Beetle: Thank you, Mr. Spock.
Batman: Pardon me?
Blue Beetle: Just a little joke, Bats.
Batman: Spare us the humor, Beetle. This is serious business.
Blue Beetle: Isn't it always?
---
Batman: Can you follow them--but from enough distance so we're not noticed?
Blue Beetle: Sure can!
Batman: Okay then, Mr. Sulu--Warp seven!
Blue Beetle: Hey everybody--Batman made a funny! BATMAN MADE A FUNNY!!
Batman: Don't push your luck, Beetle.
Blue Beetle: Sorry, Bats.

Batman: Be a good boy now, Guy--or I'm going to have to keep you after CLASS. You wouldn't want that, BELIEVE ME.

Maxwell Lord: You're upset, Batman. I can see that.
Batman: You're very perceptive.
Maxwell: Let's talk about this like reasonable men.
Batman: But I am NOT a reasonable man.

Guy Gardner: Geez--I don't know how I let myself get CLOBBERED like that.
Batman: Don't blame yourself, Guy. It wasn't your fault.
Guy: Say what?
Batman: You can't help it if you're an IDIOT.

Booster Gold: If we keep standing around out here in the open, he's gonna be finding US preety soon.
Batman: Good idea, Booster--we'll stay right where we are and let him come to us.
Booster: But I wasn't suggesting--
Batman: I like the way you think. Keep up the good work.
Booster: Was he kidding--or what?
Black Canary: Well, I seem to remember him making a joke once--it was...let me see...four..no, five years ago.. He's about time for another--and that might've been it.

Batman: Then let's see if we can knock that thing out of the sky.
Mr. Miracle: If we can't--I'll eat my mask.
...
Batman: How would you like that cooked?
Mr. Miracle: Rare...with a mild cheese sauce.

[logan_weapon_x]

This thread shoulda been called The Best of the Bat.

[DarkKnightJRK]

This thread shoulda been called The Best of the Bat.

Look up. ;)

[logan_weapon_x]

Look up. ;)

aw damn :( :D

[CorporalHicks]

"I am The Batman."

[Fledermaus]

"This from a man who uses a dog and a cape to protect his fortress..."

Superman: "We're surrounded, you know. I can hear them all.
Batman: "I think we can take them. Do you think we can take them?"
Superman: "You always think we can take them."
Batman: :Yes. I do"

Policeman: "Your under arrest, mister! You've crippled that man!"
Batman: "He's young, he'll probably walk again. But he'll stay scared--won't you punk?"
Punk: "Jesus, sweet Jesus...."

"It was tough work, carrying 220 pounds of sociopath to the top of Gotham Towers--the highest spot in the city. The scream alone is worth it."

"Deep down Clark's essentially a good person... and deep down, I'm not"

I know its not Batman it still kicks ass...
After handing him a severe beating with a crowbar...
Red Hood(to Joker): "Tell me....How does that feel?"

[Marina-Myst]

BTAS: Perchance to Dream

Batman: Why? Why did you do it?!!
Hatter: YOU, of all people have the...GALL to ask me that?!! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!! I was willing to give you whatever life you wanted...JUST TO KEEP YOU OUT OF MINE!

[elorenishii386]

Batman & Poison Ivy: CAST SHADOWS

"How does one protect an entire city? By making sure the shadow he casts is long and wide...so that its reach can embrace--or engulf--all that walk here. So that every man, woman and child in the city of Gotham can feel its touch. If you are good, the shadow's wings are a welcome, protective blanket. If you are bad, you know its touch as a black splinter of fear."

"Why would a man destroy his own life? And then stand at the precipice of that destruction, with nothing of that destruction, with nothing left to do--but run, run, run. A burning man, a streak of light in the darkness. A strange phosphorescent sparkle emanates from his skin and trails after him. From a distance, it is beautiful. up close, it is something else. Now the man feels a shadow at his back. Does he welcome it, as a protective blanket? Was he a good man or a bad man? He burns so brilliant in the night--can he even see the shadow that chases him? If your eyes are the sun, can you see shadows? can a flame see the moths that haunt it?
What would make a man leap off a roof after a falling gun he could never hope to catch?
A man hangs, saved. He glows, a torch in the night--unaware of the dark shadow above that holds his life by a thin line. the line taut between a shadow and a light."

[Cats]

The Autobiography Of Bruce Wayne by Alan Brennert
[after the death of Selina Kyle]
Bruce Wayne - She's been gone, now, for many months, but it still seems impossible to me. Her death was pointless, tragic... but I have long since given up trying to find meaning in death. The meaning is in life; not death... and Selina's life was full of meaning as it was of love, and spirit,and courage. And when my time comes to join her... I would only hope the same could be said of me.

Batman Son of the Demon by Mike W. Barr and Jerry Bingham
Batman (to Talia) - There's never been any room in my life for a woman... that's what I told myself, after every liaison I've ever known shattered... maybe that's just what I wanted to believe. I've tried to forget you, God knows.. But I can't, I never could. I never will.

Batman & Spider-Man by J.M.DeMatteis
Spider-Man - Look at all these guys! I feel like hope and Crosby in "The Road to Utopia"!
Batman - Actually it was "The Road to Morocco"
Spider-Man - Ah-Ha! I knew we had something in common beyond our love of tights! You're into old movies too huh?
Batman - I was, when I was young.
Spider-Man - Young? Somehow I can't picture you ever being young! You must've been pretty cute, waddling around in your diapers chasing the Joker across the playground.
Batman - I was never "cute".

Batman: Venom by Dennis O'Neil
Batman (to Alfred) - Al-fred, it's me. Need help. Your help. Know you're mad at me but got no one else.

Batman: Knightfall by Dennis O'Neil
Alfred - No! Bruce, I have never questioned you before. nor have I, for one moment, ever been disloyal. You have given me an extraordinary life - a life I have cherished and hope to continue cherishing. But I will not be part of your self-destruction. Anything but that. If you do not obey the doctor's orders, I shall resign my post.
Bruce - Please try to understand. All I am is a man who serves an ideal. It's not something I can do halfway. If I've got to die in that service, the sacrifice would be regrettable, but if I shy back from the possibility of dying, my life has meant nothing.
Alfred - In that case, Mr Wayne, I hereby tender my resignation, effective immediately. Good day, sir.

Batman: The Animated Series
Dr. Leslie Thompkins - You seem quieter than usual tonight.
Batman - Every year I come here and wonder if it should be the last time, if I should put the past behind me, try to lead a normal life.
Dr. Leslie Thompkins - Santayanna says, Those who forget the past are condemed to repeat it.
Batman - He also said a fanatic is someone who redoubles his efforts while losing sight of his goal.

Alfred: Master Bruce, are you all right, sir?
Batman - I'm tired, Alfred.
Alfred - Well I shouldn't wonder, you've taken no meals today, and I can't recall when you last slept.
Batman - A weary body can be dealt with, but a weary spirit, that's something else. Sometimes, old friend, I wonder if I'm really doing any good out there.
Alfred - How can you doubt it? The lives you've saved, the criminals you've brought to justice.
Batman - I've put out a few fires yes, won a few battles, but the war goes on Alfred, on and on...

Batman - I chose this life. I use the night, I became the night, sooner or later I'll go down. It might be the Joker, or Two-Face, or just some punk who gets lucky. My decision. No regrets. But I can't let anyone else pay for my mistakes.
Robin - Jim Gordon's a cop, Bruce. He knows the risks.
Batman - How long before I let someone else I care about down? Leslie, Alfred, you? When all is said and done, how much good have I accomplished? They sell t-shirts of me! I've become a cliche! More good for the tourist trade than the streets.

Jim Gordon - Gotta keep fighting, never stop. What I try to live by. Maybe if I had been younger I could have been like you. Always wanted to be a hero.
Batman - You are a hero, Jim.

D.A. Janet Van Dorn - I see now there's a need for what you do. But I'm still going to work towards a city that doesn't need Batman.
Batman - Me too.

Justice League Unlimited
Batman - [while falling through the air after having to abandon his plane] I could use a little air support seeing as I can't fly... at all.
[continues to fall]
Batman - Now would be a good time.

Batman - What would stop you from doing what the Lorder Superman did?
Superman - There's always that kryptonite you carry around.
Batman - [yelling] You don't get to joke! Not today! I just took a bullet for you.

Batman: I'm not really a people person. But when you need help, and you will, call me.

Batman (to Wonder Woman) - Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me, real hard.

[Batman]

BTAS:

Fake Thomas Wayne-"You are a disgrace!"

Batman-"No......NO......You are not my father.....I am NOT a disgrace!I am VENGEANCE.....I am THE NIGHT......I.......AM......BATMAN!"


Batman Begins:

Flass-"I dont know anything....I swear to god!"

Batman-"SWEAR TO ME!!"

- - -

Bruce-"You still havent given up on me?"

Alfred-"Never."

- - -

Ra's Al Ghul-"Justice Is Balance.You burned my home,and left me for dead.Consider us even."

- - -

Crane-"Hes here."

Thug-"Who?"

Crane-"The Batmaaaaaaan."

- - -

Gordon-"Take this guy.Armed robbery,double homicide......Got a taste for theatrics,like You.Leaves a calling card..."

Batman turns the card over,revealing a JOKER.

Batman-"I'll look into it."

Gordon-"I never said thank you."

Batman-"And you'll never have to."

- - -

Batman-"Its not who I am underneath......But what I DO that defines me."

- - -

Falcone-"What the hell are you?!?!?!"

Falcone is pulled through the sunroof.

Batman-"I'M BATMAN!!"

- - -

Bruce-"How do you know my name?"

Ducard-"The world is too small for someone like Bruce Wayne to disappear...No matter how deeply he chooses to ascend himself."

- - -

Bruce-"Gotham isnt beyond saving."

Year One:

Batman-"Ladies And Gentlemen....You have eaten well.You've eaten Gothams wealth.Its spirt.Your feast is nearly over.From this moment on,None of you are safe."

All-Star Batman & Robin:

Batman-"On your feet,soldier.You've just been drafted.Into a war."

[TheShadow]

Superman: I thought i was the boy scout

Batman: You were untill I met shazam

[Comic Book Boy]

This thread rocks!

[Phantasm]

Yes it does!

[Batman]

Random Quotes:

Batman(on Green Lantern's outfit): "Nintendo has a lot to answer for."

- - -

'She doesnt like you.' - Jim Gordon.
'Good. I'm not here to be liked.' - Batman.

- - -

"Dark...Meaningless...Oblivion..."-Martian Manhunter
"Sounds like my last Date."-Batman.

Dark Victory:

Gordon-"I dont know if I can protect you on this one."

Batman-"That isnt,and never was,nessacary."

Batman Begins:

'I seek the means to fight injustice. To turn fear on those who prey on the fearful.' - Bruce Wayne.

- - -

'They told me there was nothing out there... nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since... I went around the world... Searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness... something terrifying... something that will not stop until it gets revenge... me!' - Bruce Wayne.

- - -

*Bats screech from above*
'What is that?' - Jim Gordon.
'Backup.' - Batman

- - -

'When you told me your grand plan for saving Gotham, the only thing that stopped me from calling the men in the white coats was when you told me it wasn't about thrill-seeking.' - Alfred.
'It's not.' - Bruce Wayne.
'Then what would you call that?' - Alfred.
*Alfred points at TV screen which shows police chasing the Batmobile on the news*
'Damn good television.' - Bruce Wayne.

- - -

'People need dramatic examples to shake them out of ampothy and I can't do that as Bruce Wayne. As a man I'm flesh and blood, I can be ignored, broken but as a symbol I can be incorruptable, I can be everlasting.' - Bruce Wayne.
'What symbol?' - Alfred.
'Something elemental, something terrifying.' - Bruce Wayne.

- - -

'Seems familiar. Don't you have anything new?' - Ra's Al Ghul.
'How about this?' - Batman.
*Batman uses his gauntlets to snap Ra's Al Ghul's sword in three parts*

- - -

'Seeing as you're taking on the underworld, I presume this symbol is a dual identity that you'll use to protect those you care about.' - Alfred.
'Your thinking about Rachel?' - Bruce.
'Actually sir... I was thinking of myself.' - Alfred.

JLU:

*Wonder Woman makes a baby Etrigan cry then burp.*
'There that's all he needed.' - Wonder Woman.
*Green Lantern smells the baby Etrigan's diaper*
'That's not all he needs.' - Green Lantern.
'Now that's a job for Superman.' - Batman.

- - -

'In some ways, it was fun to be a kid again.' - Wonder Woman.
'I haven't been a kid since I was eight years old.' - Batman.

- - -

'Batman, Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne, Batman, or have you already met.' - Future Batman.
'Not now!' - Batman and Future Bruce Wayne.
'Oh great, now it's in stereo.' - Future Batman.

- - -

'Wait you can't go out there. Things have changed since your time.' - Future Batman.
'Are criminals still idiotic and cowardly?' - Batman.
'Yep.' - Future Bruce Wayne.
'Good enough for me.' - Batman.

- - -

'Are you saying you'd sacrifice millions just because you don't like this guy?' - Hawkgirl.
'You don't know Darkseid like I do.' - Superman.
'We do know he used you, humiliated you, destroyed your will, wound you up like a toy and set you loose on Earth... cry me a river.' - Batman.

- - -

*Wonder Woman and Batman are attacked by a giant reptile creature. It bites and traps Batman in its mouth. Batman uses an exploding batarang and blows up its mouth. He land face down in mud, covered in the creatures saliva.*
'Are you ok?' - Wonder Woman.
'Peachy.' - Batman.

[The Question]

While it's not Batman saying it, I love these quotes:



The Joker: Doing? You're doing what any sane man in your apalling circumstances would do. You're going mad.

The Joker:Remember? Ohh, I wouldn't do that! Remembering's dangerous! I find the past such a worrying, ancious place. "The past tense" I suppose you'd call it! HA HA! Memory's so trecherous! One moment you're lost in a carnival of delights, with poigniant childhood aromas, the flashing neon of puberty, and all that sentimantal candy floss! The next, it leads you to somewhere you don't want to go. Somewhere dark and cold, filled with damp, ambiguous shapes of things you'd hoped were forgotten. Memories can be vile, repulsive little brutes. Like children I suppose. HAHA!!! But can we live without them? Memories are what our reason is based upon. If we can't face them, we deffy reason itself! Although, why not? We aren't contractually tied down to reality. There is no sanity clause. So when you find yourself on an unpleasent train of thought, leading to places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember, there's always madness. Madness is the emergensy exit! You can just step outside, and close the door on all thoes dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away. Forever.

The Joker: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! You've read about them in the newspapers! Now shudder as you observe, befor your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! THE AVERAGE MAN!!!!! Physically unremarkable, it has instead deformed a set of values. Notice the hidiously bloated sense of humanity's importance. The clubfooted social consience and withered optimism. It's certainly not for the squemish, is it? But most repulsive of all are it's frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them, they snap! How does it live, I hear you ask? How does this poor, pathetic specimen survive in todays harsh and irrasional world? The sad answer is, "not very well". Faced with the inescapable fact that humanity's existance is mad random and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! But who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this, any other response would be crazy!

[SSJshawn]

Question, those joker quotes are awesome..where are they from?

[The Question]

"The Killing Joke" by Alan Moore. Arguably the best story featuring The Joker ever written.

[The Batman]

"Somedays you just cant get rid of a bomb!"

[The Question]

Does anyone here have a copy of The Killing Joke? I had to get my quotes from some exerps online and they didn't have the loony song. Could someone here post the loony song?

[superpower]

when the world is full of care and every deadline screams despair, wehn all is rape, starvation, war and life is vile....then there's a certain thing i do which i shall pass along to you, that's always guaranteed to make me smile......i go looo-oo-ooony as a light bulg battered bug sumply loo-oo-ooony, sometines foam and chew the rug......mister, life is swell in a padded cell, it'll chase those blues away....you can trade your gloom for a rubber room. and injections twice a day! Just go loo-oo-ooony, like an acid casualty, of a moo-oo-nie, or a preacher on tv when the human race wears an anxious face when the bomb hangs overhead when your kid turns blue it wont worry you, you can sile and nod instead. when you're loo-oony then you just dont give a fig....mans so pu-uu-ny and the universe so big. if you hurt inside get certified and if life should treat you bad dont get even get MAD.

sorry for my lack of punctuation and all, it was looooong

[The Question]

The Killing Joke is full of awesome Joker Quotes.

[clark_kent89]

http://img74.imageshack.us/img74/1372/batmanspank8nu.jpg (http://imageshack.us) Classic!!!

[superpower]

The Killing Joke is full of awesome Joker Quotes.

Yeah it is. :joker:

[IzzyJG99]

"I haven't been a kid since I was eight years old."

[The Chairman]

Here are my favorite quotes from the Burton movies:

"Jack My Friend Is Dead. The Name's... Joker, and as you can see I'm a lot happier." - The Joker

"Wing Freaked Terrorizes...Wait Til They Get A Load Of Me." - The Joker

"This Town Needs An Enema" - The Joker

"Did You Ever Dance With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight" - The Joker

"You Wanna Get Nuts?!" - Bruce Wayne

"Hi. I believe the word you're looking for is...Aaaaaaaaaah!" - The Penguin

Max Shreck..."And you, Oswald Cobblepot, filling the void..."
Penguin (eyeing an attractive image consultant): Ugh, I'd like to fill her void.

Catwoman: I come to you with one clause...Batman. The thorn in our side, the fly in our ointment
Penguin: Ointments? Scented or unscented?

Batman: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it
Catwoman: A kiss can be deadlier if you mean it.

And the best line of them all:

"Bruce Wayne, Why Are Dressed Up Like Batman" - Max Shreck

[DarkKnightJRK]

Death Strikes At Midnight and Three

Batman: Milo, drink your wine. Savor it. Then put your affairs in order and call your dear friends and tell them goodbye. Tell them your next address will be a prison or a grave because--hear me, Milo--I will find the blind man and I'll return and I'll destroy you. I'll watch you whimper and beg and crawl.

[nite-owl]

From the Dark knight Returns

''You've got rights. Lots of rights. Sometimes I count them to make myself feel crazy''

from the Long Halloween

''I made a promise to my parents that I would rid the city of the evil that took their lives.''

[DarkKnightJRK]

The Dark Knight Returns

"Then...something shuffles, out of sight...something sucks the stale air...and HISSES...gliding with ancient grace, unwilling to retreat as his brothers did...eyes gleaming, untouched by love or joy or sorrow, breath hotwith the taste of fallen foes...the stench of deadthings, damned things...surely the fiercest survivor--the purest warrior...glaring, hating...claiming me as his own."

"Your time has come. You know it in your soul. For I am your soul... You cannot escape me... You are puny, you are small. You are nothing--a hollow shell, a rusty trap that cannot hold me. Smoldering, I burn you--burning you I flare, hot and bright and fierce and beautiful. You cannot stop me--not with wine or vows or the weight of age. You cannot stop me, but till you try--still you run. You try to drown me out...but your voice is weak..."

"This should be agony. I should be a mass of aching muscle--broken, spent, unable to move. And, were I an older man, I surely would...but I'm a man of thirty--of twenty agian. The rain on my chest is a baptism. I am born again."

"There are seven working defences from this positon. Three of them disarm with minimal contact. Three of them kill. The other--hurts."

"It takes nearly a minute to fall from this height. And dispite what you may have hard, you're likely to stay conscious all the way down. Thoughts like that keep me warm at night."

Batman: I see...a reflection, Harvey...a reflection.

"They don't even wait for the order. Young people these days...no respect for history."

"Rubber bullets. Honest."

Batman: Remember, rats carry diseases. Don't eat any.

[Fledermaus]

From the Kingdom Come TPB:

(Bruce, Diana and Clark are at the "Planet Krypton" restaraunt)

Waitress: "Hi, I'm Robin."
Bruce:"Of course you are."
Waitress: "Are you ready to order?"
Bruce: "What do you recommend?"
Waitress "Today's special is the Power Girl Chicken Sandwich."
Bruce: "The cut...?"
Waitress: "Breast."



HAH!

[darkknightlife]

thats why superman works alone

[DarkKnightJRK]

thats why superman works alone

...

...

Dude, your ass is SO going to be ripped open...

[Fledermaus]

From All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder #2

Dick: "Who the hell are you anyway, giving out orders like this?"
Batman: "What, are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think I am? I'm the goddamn Batman."

[DarkKnightJRK]

Blind Justice:

"For a man who cannot sleep, dreams pose a curious threat. Bruce Wayne's dedication is unstinting. His motives--though some might argue otherwise--are noble.

"But still, one dream torments him. And the odd part is...he's wide awake.

"Awake or asleep--it scarcely matters anymore. The nightmare never seems to end.

"It taunts him around the clock--subverting his resolve as insidiously as any foe he's ever faced.

"Each time, his parents die before his eyes. Each time, he is the instrument of their doom.

";You could've let it scar you for life, but you didn't.' That's what the girl said. She admired him then. If only she'd known.

"Suffering is universal. Most people put it aside, look to the future, set on with the business of living.

"And some of them have surely suffered more than Bruce. Why can't he follow their example?

"Night after night he reopens the same bloody wound. Does he CRAVE the pain, the sense of violation? Does he THRIVE on his own torment?

"He's rich, handsome, powerful. Why can't he be GRATEFUL for what he has?

"Why, why, and WHY. All at once, with lacerating clarity, the answer is upon him:

"...THAT'S HOW BATMAN WANTS IT.

"The world is full of EVIL. It NEEDS a Batman--to help the weak, to mete out JUSTICE. And yet, each night, it's Bruce who pays the cost.

"If justice turned it's eye on Bruce, Batman would surely set him free. He'd make friends, fall in love, LIVE HIS LIFE--as normal people do.

"There'd be no more ANGUISH. No more DREAMS. No more wracking GUILT when he tries to do the right thing--and FAILS. Surely, he deserves no less...

"But justice is BLIND. BLIND AS A BAT."

[darkknightlife]

and why is that??????

[DarkKnightJRK]

and why is that??????

...What the hell are you talking about? :confused:

[Steel Spider]

I think he was referring to your "Dude, your ass is SO going to be ripped open..." post.

[SHADOWBAT69]

"My life is really...complex."

Michael Keaton (Bruce Wayne), Batman 1989

[DarkKnightJRK]

I think he was referring to your "Dude, your ass is SO going to be ripped open..." post.

Oh.

Posting a particularly bad line from "That Clooney Movie" is probably not the most healthiest things to do around these parts.

[Steel Spider]

Oh.

Posting a particularly bad line from "That Clooney Movie" is probably not the most healthiest things to do around these parts.

I agree. Batman & Robin should never be brought up around these parts.

[elorenishii386]

http://img74.imageshack.us/img74/1372/batmanspank8nu.jpg (http://imageshack.us/) Classic!!!

lol...that one always makes me laugh :D

[SHADOWBAT69]

Oh.

Posting a particularly bad line from "That Clooney Movie" is probably not the most healthiest things to do around these parts.


what about, "I'll cancell the pizzas"?

[droogiedroogie2]

From Justice League International:

Blue Beetle: ...You think maybe it's too late to petition for a new Green Lantern? Hey, Bats--mabe you could wear the ring...
Batman: It would only get in my way.
Blue Beetle: ...Yeah...besides, who'd ever buy a super-hero called the "Green Batman"? I mean, that's almost as dumb as--
Batman: The Blue Beetle?
Blue Beetle: Well...um...ah...

Blue Beetle: You have any idea how many hours we've been here...
Batman: Nine-point-two hours.
Blue Beetle: Thank you, Mr. Spock.
Batman: Pardon me?
Blue Beetle: Just a little joke, Bats.
Batman: Spare us the humor, Beetle. This is serious business.
Blue Beetle: Isn't it always?
---
Batman: Can you follow them--but from enough distance so we're not noticed?
Blue Beetle: Sure can!
Batman: Okay then, Mr. Sulu--Warp seven!
Blue Beetle: Hey everybody--Batman made a funny! BATMAN MADE A FUNNY!!
Batman: Don't push your luck, Beetle.
Blue Beetle: Sorry, Bats.

Batman: Be a good boy now, Guy--or I'm going to have to keep you after CLASS. You wouldn't want that, BELIEVE ME.

Maxwell Lord: You're upset, Batman. I can see that.
Batman: You're very perceptive.
Maxwell: Let's talk about this like reasonable men.
Batman: But I am NOT a reasonable man.

Guy Gardner: Geez--I don't know how I let myself get CLOBBERED like that.
Batman: Don't blame yourself, Guy. It wasn't your fault.
Guy: Say what?
Batman: You can't help it if you're an IDIOT.

Booster Gold: If we keep standing around out here in the open, he's gonna be finding US preety soon.
Batman: Good idea, Booster--we'll stay right where we are and let him come to us.
Booster: But I wasn't suggesting--
Batman: I like the way you think. Keep up the good work.
Booster: Was he kidding--or what?
Black Canary: Well, I seem to remember him making a joke once--it was...let me see...four..no, five years ago.. He's about time for another--and that might've been it.

Batman: Then let's see if we can knock that thing out of the sky.
Mr. Miracle: If we can't--I'll eat my mask.
...
Batman: How would you like that cooked?
Mr. Miracle: Rare...with a mild cheese sauce.Which issues are those from?

And is the one about being retarded, is that seriously from a comic book? I thought it was a joke somebody did.

Anyway, here's the best Batman quotes ever:

Batman: I want you to tell all your friends about me.
Thug: What are you?!
Batman: I'm Batman.

Batman (In Bruce Wayne voice): Excuse me. Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? (Punches Joker.)

Joker: And where is the Batman? He's at home, washing his tights!

Joker: If the Presidency doesn't have to be on speaking terms with reality, why then should the governorcy?

Batman: You've been recalled, Joker.

Joker: Meanwhile, back at the WRENCH...

Joker: Yes, this is all incredibly boring...

[DarkKnightJRK]

Which issues are those from?

Justice League International. I believe you can find that and a whole bunch more in the TPB "Justice League: A New Beginning."

And is the one about being retarded, is that seriously from a comic book? I thought it was a joke somebody did.

Nope, it's from "All-Star: Batman & Robin, the Boy Wonder," #2.

[DarkKnightJRK]

Batman: Haunted Knight

"He calls himself "Scarecrow." Psychologist turned psychopath. He preys on the innocent and instills them with fear.
"When I chose to wear my...costume, it was to prey on the CRIMINALS, and instill them with fear.
"The irony is not lost on me..."

Scarecrow: THAT way is a very nice way. It's pleasant down THIS way, too. Of course, people do go BOTH ways.

Bruce: Jim! Good of you to make it. Barbara having a good time?
Gordon: Yes, I suppose...thought I saw her playing pool with Harrison Ford.
Bruce: He's a delight.

Scarecrow: I know a man who had a dog. His dog told him to cut his family into pieces. Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark! BARK!

Jullian: Bruce. Were you ever bit by a dead bee?
Bruce: What? No. A dead be is a...dead bee.
Jullian: What about you, Mr. Pennyworth?
Alfred: Yes, Miss, it was quite painful, actually.
Jullian: What did you do?
Alfred: I bit him back.
Bruce: You...bit him back?
Jullian: You're all right, Alfred. I can see why Bruce keeps you around.
Alfred: Yes, Miss.
...
Bruce: What was all that about a dead bee?
Alfred: Miss Jullian apparently has an unique sense of humor--as well as a love for old film dialogue.

Alfred: Oh, good show, sir. For a moment, I was afraid you'd had a rational thought.

Scarecrow: See how they run. See how they run. She cut off their tails with a carving knife! Have you ever seen such a sight in your life?

Scarecrow: Little Miss Muffet...Little Jack Horner...The Three Little Kittens! Go. Goo. Goo. Gooosse.

Mad Hatter: tWiNkLe, TwinKLe, LiTtLe BAT! HoW i WoNdEr WhErE yOu'Re At! Up AbOvE tHe WoRld YoU fLy--LiKe A tEaTrAy In ThE sKy!

Mad Hatter: tHe QuEeN. OfF. oFf. OfF. ...wItH hIs HEAD!

Batman: Tetch. I'm willing to give you a chance.
Mad Hatter: tHe tImE hAs CoMe...
Batman: Yes...to talk...of many things...
Mad Hatter: oF sHoEs!
Batman: No. The children. The MISSING children.
Mad Hatter: --aNd ShIpS--
Batman: COOPERATE.
Mad Hatter: --aNd SeAliNg WaX!

"The demand was unnecessary. The singular solution is striking quickly. Relentlesly. Some would say...savagely. Innocent lives are at stake. Almost any means justifies the ends."

"As the protector of Gotham City's residents--justice must be blind. Expedient. And severe. I have learned that my decisions cannot be encumbered by one's personal indulgences."

Alfred: Did you lose your keys sir? Or did you merely wish to make certain I was awake at this hour?

Ivy: Kind of...abrupt, weren't you? He was only offering you an opportunity...
Batman: Lucius wouldn't have understood. No one could. I mad a PROMISE. To honor my parents. Somday to rid Gotham City of the crime that took their lives.
Ivy: Is THAT how your parents would have wanted you to honor them?
Batman: You wouldn't understand. No one could.
Ivy: So you've said...so you've said...

Joker: Ooo. Rough-housing. Missed me. Missed me. Now you gotta kiss me.

Joker: I mean, no point in beating a dead horse, Batty old boy. Unless, of course, you like the tast of horse meat.

Joker: Third floor. Everybody out. Garden supplies. Ladies' under-garments. And out Halloween showroom.

Joker: And they say CRIMINALS are a "superstitious, cowardly lot." heh.

[darkknightlife]

it was about movie quotes not the best movie duh and as far as the movie goes it wasnt that bad a batman fan would be thankful for a least another movie wb could made some other p.o.s. movie that year i mean get real

[VaderRISE]

I don't know about anyone else, but I really think the first opening pages of Superman/Batman: P.E. is classic writing.

Superman: The dream always begins the same. My parents.....Jor-El and Lara El put me in the rocket as the planet Krypton breaks apart.

Batman: The Nightmare always begins the same. My parents.....Thomas and Martha Wayne take my hands as we leave the theater.

Superman: I can only imagine how difficult it was for them sending their only son into outer space....as their world died around them.

Batman: I can only imagine the fear that gripped them when the gunman stepped out of the shadows.....never knowing that these were their last moments alive.

Superman:I don't know what I actually remember or if it's just what I've pictured in my mind. The planet shattering around me, the colors, the brilliance of the Universe being delivered to me. My future out there in the great unknown.

Batman: I will never forget the sound of the gun firing. Tiny pieces of metal ripping through the only two people I ever loved. The blood, the acrid smell of gunpowder. My future going black before my eyes.

Superman: The rocket landed in a cornfield on Jonathan and Martha Kent's farm. This was Smallville, Kansas on the planet Earth.

Batman: My parents lay in the street, bleeding to death. It seemed like hours before anyone came to help. This was Park Row in Gotham City. They call it Crime Alley now.

Superman: Suddenly, in the dream, I can see myself -- older --as I watch Ma and Pa come into my life. At that moment, my childhood began.

Batman: Unexpectedly, in the nightmare, I can see myself --alone-- as I watch my Mother and Father leave me forever. At that moment, my childhood ended.

Superman: My parents tought me to side with justice, I came from another planet with powers and abilities far beyond those of other men. I'm known as a hero, an inspiration. It's been a good life.

Batman: My parents killer was never brought to justice. I cloak myself in the very shadows the gunman used to hide his face from me. I'm known as an urban myth, a frightening creature, the bogeyman. It is not a life I would wish on anyone.

[DarkKnightJRK]

Batman: Year One

Gordon: Gotham City. Maybe it's all I deserve now. Maybe it's just my time in hell.

Bruce: From here, it's clean shafts of concrete and snowy rooftops. From here, it looks like an achievement. I should have taken the train. I should be closer. I should see the enemy.

Gordon: I keep talking to myself. This time, I say, you'd better know your facts before you bring another cop down. Espically in public. Flass has had Green Geret training. I can tell. And he knows how to use his size. I witch and I don't do a dman thing and I memorize every move. For future reference.

Bruce: I'm not ready. I have the means, the skill--but not the method... No. That's not true. I have thousends of methods. But something's missing. Something isn't right. I have to wait. I have to wait.

Bruce: It's a twenty block walk to the enemy camp. It's been educational. I was sized up like a piece of meat by the leatherboys in Robinson Park. I waded through pleas and half-hearted threats from junkies at the Finger Memorial. I stepped across a field of human rubble that lay sleeping in fron of the overcrowded Sprang Mansion. Finally, the worst of it. The East End. Hard to believe it's gotten worse.

Selina: Shut up, Skunk. You know what I hate most about men, skunk? Never met one.

Bruce: Very good, Bruce. You've really put the fear of God into them.

Bruce: Fire--only take seconds to reach the gas tank. Sirens--more police--tank will go before they get here--these men--they probably have families--

Gordon: I don't crack his skull. I don't crush his larynx. I don't break his ribs or punch my hand through his chest. I do just enough--to keep him out of the hospital. I toss his gun into the woods. I should be rusty by morning. I take his clothes off and leave him in his own cuffs by the side of the road.
He'll never report it. Not Flass. He'll make up some story that involves at least ten attackers and never admit I did it. But he'll know. And he'll stay away from Barbara. Thanks, Flass. You've shown me what it takes to be a cop in Gotham City.

Bruce: Father...I'm afraid I may have to die tonight. I've tried to be patient. I've tried to wait. But I have to know. How, father? How do I do it? What do I use...to make them afraid? If I ring this bell, Alfred will come. He can stop the bleeding, in time. Another of your gifts to me, father. I have weath. The family manor rests above a huge cave that will be the perfect headquarters...even a butler with training in combat medicine. ...Yes, father. I have everything but patience. I'd rather die...than wait...another hour. I have waited...for eighteen years... ...Eighteen years since...since Zorro. The Mark of Zorro. Since the walk. That night. And the man with frightened, hollow eyes and a voice like glass being crushed... Since all sense left my life. Without warning it comes... ...Crashing through the window of your study...and mine... ...I have seen it before...somewhere...it frightened me as a boy. Frightened me... Yes, father. I shall become a bat.

Gordon: I take the ugly weight off my hip...I hold it up like a dead rat and prey that the man understands.

Blume: Spider nasty don't noise it-- No lunch. No lunch.
Gordon: I'll order out.

Gordon: Poor kids must have been scared out of their wits. Right. Like I wasn't.

Gordon: It kicks. Gunpowder burns my eyes and fills my nostrils. A wad of lead flies... If that were a man--the wad would shatter his spin and he'd feel his legs go dead even before his heart explodes.
Another kick.
The wad would leave a neat, round hold and I'd see the horror in his eyes as it pushed half his brain through the back of his skull.
I hate the gun. I hate my job. I keep practicing.
Another kick. Strong boy, little James...
...I pray he's very strong. And smart enough to stay alive. How could I let this happen? How did I screw up so badly...to bring an innocent child to life...in a city without hope...

Batman: Ladies. Gentlemen. You have eaten well. You've eaten Gotham's wealth. Its spirit. Your feast is nearly over. From this moment on, none of you are safe.

Batman: She knows how to walk in heels. So few women do these days. It's practically a lost art.
And she knows how to scream. You could hear it from the rooftops. Normally, screaming wouldn't help. Not in this neighborhood.
Here on the East End, a midnight walk constitutes attempted suicide. Luck for her that there are so many cops around.
There's Sargent Feck, playing wino...
And hunched in the sedan--Detectives Shelly and Lerner. There are more officers waiting, crouched in stoops and garbage dumpsters down the block.
Gordon't wasting a lot of manpower on these traps.

Guard: Sir--Your Rolls--it's gone--
Falcone: It was HIM. Said the Rolls is in the river. Even told me which pier. Thinks he's a damned Robin Hood. He DIES.

Batman: The slightest dose of anaconda on the darts--enough to put a man to sleep--for a day or so--Twelve men left--two darts--no good--One bullet--will make all the difference--they've got thousands.

Batman: You're the one--who tried to shoot the cat--

Gordon: The crowd is all screams and angry shouts. Then, I hear a wrecking ball take out the wall--and a hardware store clatter across the street.
A cheer goes up. They've made a hero out of him.
Then the cheering disintergrates...and the screaming starts again...

Gordon: She got into law enforcement after being told she was too masculine for aout six other careers.
Whoever told her she was masculine must've been blind, deaf, and dead.

Gordon: ...Gotham weather. Just when the rain seems to be clearing up lightning flashes.

Gordon: I hate this city. I hate myself and the night and everything it brings. Mostly, I hate it when she cries...
Another fight. We fight so much, Barbara and I. She tells me I'm away too much and just when I should apologize, I snap at her...I freeze up inside... Tonight, she called the office and I wasn't there--I was out having coffee with Sarah--
Sarah--my God, I'm calling her Sarah now...it's all wrong...and Barbara's right, as always...
...And right now I should be talking to her--begging her to forgive me for--
For the baby in her stomach and the way I'm thinking about Essen--that's right--call her Essen--forget how she felt--how her body and her lips felt.
Barbara...I should talk to her. I shouldn't be thinking--not about Sgt. Essen--
And not about Batman. He's a criminal. I'm a cop. It's that simple. But--
But I'm a cop in a city where the mayor and the commissioner of police use cops as hired kilers...
He saved that old woman. He saved that cat. He even paid for the suit.
The hunk of metal in my hands are heavier than ever...

Gordon: Her arms are strong. Her whole body's strong.
It's late, we've both worked late again.
I never get tired around her.
She's requested a transfer. She's leaving Gotham City.
I'm in love with her.
It's the only thing to do.

Batman: You can never ecape me. Bullets don't harm me. Nothing harms me. But I know pain. I know pain. Sometimes I share it. With someone like you.

Bruce: Excuse me. It must have be the champagne. I neglected to introduce my friend-- You see, I'm not sure of her name, and she doesn't speak any language I know...
Barbara: That must be convenient.

Gordon: He laughs and rings for his butler. His butler brings his datebook. I could auction off the phone numbers in his notebook for a fortune. They're all women. They're all famous. They're all beautiful.

Alfred: Master Bruce--I've come across a facinating piece in the times. Concerns the effects of lack of sleep among the marginally sane... ..."Marked increase in paranoia" ...hmm... ..."Tendecy towards aberrant, even violent behavior"...

Barbara: Don't--I'll kill you--
Bruce: Mrs. Gordon. You have to trust me. I won't let your boy die.

Gordon: You must be wearing some armor under that jacket.
Bruce: Yes.
Gordon: You know, I'm practically blind without my glasses. Sirens coming. You'd better go.

Gordon: As for me--well, there's a real panic on. Somebody's threatened to poison the GOtham reservoir. Calls himself The Joker. I've got a friend who might be able to help. Should be here any minute...

[titan101]

dark knight returns:

joker:im really...very DISSAPOINTED with you,my sweet...the moment was...perfect...and you...didn't have the NERVE...paralysis...really...just an ounce or two more...of PREASSURE...and...do i hear...SIRENS...?...yes...coming CLOSE...you won't get FAR...but then...it doesn't MATTER...if you DO...they'll KILL you for this...and they'll never KNOW...that you didn't have the NERVE...i'll..see you... in HELL...


bruce:I want you...to REMEMBER,clark...in all the YEARS to come...in your most PRIVATE moments...i want you to REMEMBER...my HAND...at your THROAT...i want... you to REMEMBER...the one man who BEAT you...

kid:you got to kick his-
batman:WATCH...watch your LANGUAGE,son...
kid:yes,sir...

[DarkKnightJRK]

Batman: Hush

"The boy is trembling. Not that much older than I when... He's probably just as terrified of me as he is of what's happening.
It makes me think about Clark and how he'd handle the situation. Not just the bending steel and flying out. Clark would smile. That Boy Scout thing. And then say something homespun to put the boy at ease.
But, the boy doesn't have Clark. He has me. In my city. Gotham City.
It is better that way."

"First, my body betrays me. Then, my city follows suit. We have both grown too old together..."

Thug: Well. Well. Well. Look what fell into Hell.

"She's better than she knows...but wasts too much energy proving it. So much like I was when I was starting out."

Oracle: The rest is up to you--
Alfred: Actually, no.
Oracle: What do you mean?!
Alfred: It is, as always...his fight to win...

"Wayne Manor. What was once my father's house is now mine. Along with all the memories it holds."

"Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. To instill fear into their hearts, I became a bat. A monster in the night. And in doing so, have I become the very thing that all monsters become... Alone...?"

Lois: Well so much for flirting with the "billionaire playboy" to find out what he's REALLY doing here. I hope I didn't make you TOO jealous, Mr. Kent.
Clark: As long as I'm the one going home with you Mrs. Kent, flirt away.
Lois: Still, the roses were a nice touch.
Clark: I think there's only one way we're going to find out what Bruce is up to...
Lois: Have fun being all tights and flights. And remember, despite how he behaves when he's...y'know--that you two are friends.
Clark: Right.

Batman: You know your part?
Catwoman: Your standard snatch and grab.
Batman: Any one of the three of them.
Catwoman: It'll be the gal. If we want to get a reaction from him, it HAS to be the gal.
Batman: You've studied him?
Catwoman: Trust me. I know the type.

"I don't believe in luck. But if I did...NOW would be a good time to start."

"If Clark wanted to, he could use his superspeed and squish me into the cement. But I know how he thinks. Even more than the Kryptonite, he has one big weakness. Deep down, Clark's essentially a good person...and deep down, I'm NOT."

"Come on, Clark. BE THE BOY SCOUT."

"Sometimes all the detective work in the world can't beat a super-dog with a keen sense of smell."

Superman: Catwoman. Was that REALLY necessary?
Batman/Catwoman: Yes.

"There was something about the Opera--how they often ended in TRAGEDY--that my father found appealing..."

Catwoman: Badly concieved. Badly acted. Badly staged. The audience actually wants their money back.

"In the insanity of this evening, the audience believes we are part of the show. The Opera."

Catwoman: Batman...
Batman: Lie still. You need medical attention.
Catwoman: I know that...come closer... If you ever choose to rescue...me again...over catching the bad guy...I swear, I'll scratch your eyes out.

"Dick. Dick Greyson. Nightwing. He explained to me once that The Joker and I are forever linked in constant battle. That, in some sick way, The Joker exists because of me. How I reperesent the order that is necessary to live in Gotham City and The Joker is the chaos that disrupts that order. ... I think about what Nightwing said. My being responsible for The Joker as years worth of rage courses through my fist. I cannot...I will not...accept any responsibillity...for The Joker."

The Joker: HELLLLLP! WILDMAN! MADMAN! BATTYMAN!

"There is NOTHING I can do to him that would cause him the agony that he has brought upon others. But I can come CLOSE."

Batman: How many more lives are we going to let him ruin?
Gordon: I don't care. I won't let him ruin yours.

Selina: Oh, please, not "O' Captain, My Captain"...
Leslie: Don't you know, Selina? It's one of Bruce's favorite pieces.
Selina: Remind me not to have him speak at MY funeral...

Batman: If detective work were easy--everyone would be doing it.
Nightwing: Was that...humor? No I AM worried about you.

Nightwing: Does she have to listen to everything?
Batman: You'd know better than I would.
Oracle: I HEARD THAT!

Nightwing: Look, this may be none of my damn business. And I know you think I'm against you going out with a former...known...theif, or whatever she is...was. Anyway, I'm not. Against it.
Bruce, I've known you too long. I came down to the cave expecting to find you draped in shadows. Cut off from everyone--including yourself. You lost an old friend. I get it. But--there's something different about you. Good different.
If she makes you happy--great. Except--every relationship you've ever had with a woman--either as Bruce or Batman--has gotten screwed up because you didn't tell her about your being...either Batman or Bruce.
My point is--TELL HER. Hell, you've known each other so long, she probably already knows.
Batman: You're right.
Nightwing: Really...?
Batman: It IS none of your damn business.

"The LexCorp Gulf Stream 5 has the same specifications as WayneTech's Air Glide 3. Lucius tells me that we'll be in court for years over patent infringement. Having knowledge of the inner workings of the air craft gives me the edge. It's one of the few times I'm grateful for the way LexCorp does business.

[The Demon's Head]

Batman Begins:

Bruce: Everyone, everybody. I would thank you all for coming here tonight
And drinking all of my booze.

Ra's: Rub your chest. Your arms will take care of themselves. You're Stronger than your father.
Bruce: You didn't know my father.
Ra's: But I know the rage that drives you. That impossible anger strangling the grife until the memory of your loved ones is just poisining your veins. One day you catch yourself wishing the person you loved had never existed, so you would be spared your pain. I wasn't always here in the mountains. Once I had a wife. my great love. She was taken from me. like you, I was forced to learn there are those without decency who must be fought without hesitation, without pity. Your anger gives you great power but if you let it It will destroy you as it almost did me.

Alfred: You're getting lost inside this monster of yours.
Bruce: I'm using this monster to help other people, just like my father did.
Alfred: For Thomas Wayne helping others wasn't about proving anything to Anyone. himself included.

Batman: What do you think?
Gordon: I think you're trying to help. but I've been wrong before.

Ra's: Only a cynical man would call what these people have lives, Wayne.
Crime, despair. This is not how man was supposed to live. The League of Shadows has been a check against human corruption for thousands of Years.
We sacked Rome. loaded trade ships with plauge rats. Burned London to the ground. Every time a civilization reaches the pinacle of its decadence We return to restore the balance.
Bruce: Gotham isn't beyond saving. Give me more time. there are good people here.
Ra's: You are defending a city so corrupt we have infiltrated every level of its infrastracture. When I found you in the jail you were lost but I believed in You. I took away your fear and I showed you a path. You were my greatest Student. it should be you standing by my side saving the world.
Bruce: I will be standing where I belong. between you and the people of Gotham.

Bruce: Why do you give a damn, Alfred? It's not your family.
Alfred: I give a damn because a good man made me ressponsible for the most important thing in the world to him.

Bruce: Wait for my signal.
Gordon: You're just one man?
Bruce: Now we're two.
Gordon: We?

Ra's: Well, Well. you took my advice about theatriciality a bit literally.
Batman: It ends here.
Ra's: For you and the police, maybe. My fate however lies with the rest of Gotham. Now If you'll excuse me, I have a city to destroy.
Batman: I can beat two of your pawns.
Ra's: As you wish.

[DarkKnightJRK]

Batman: Hush

"The boy is trembling. Not that much older than I when... He's probably just as terrified of me as he is of what's happening.
It makes me think about Clark and how he'd handle the situation. Not just the bending steel and flying out. Clark would smile. That Boy Scout thing. And then say something homespun to put the boy at ease.
But, the boy doesn't have Clark. He has me. In my city. Gotham City.
It is better that way."

"First, my body betrays me. Then, my city follows suit. We have both grown too old together..."

Thug: Well. Well. Well. Look what fell into Hell.

"She's better than she knows...but wasts too much energy proving it. So much like I was when I was starting out."

Oracle: The rest is up to you--
Alfred: Actually, no.
Oracle: What do you mean?!
Alfred: It is, as always...his fight to win...

"Wayne Manor. What was once my father's house is now mine. Along with all the memories it holds."

"Criminals, by nature, are a cowardly and superstitious lot. To instill fear into their hearts, I became a bat. A monster in the night. And in doing so, have I become the very thing that all monsters become... Alone...?"

Lois: Well so much for flirting with the "billionaire playboy" to find out what he's REALLY doing here. I hope I didn't make you TOO jealous, Mr. Kent.
Clark: As long as I'm the one going home with you Mrs. Kent, flirt away.
Lois: Still, the roses were a nice touch.
Clark: I think there's only one way we're going to find out what Bruce is up to...
Lois: Have fun being all tights and flights. And remember, despite how he behaves when he's...y'know--that you two are friends.
Clark: Right.

Batman: You know your part?
Catwoman: Your standard snatch and grab.
Batman: Any one of the three of them.
Catwoman: It'll be the gal. If we want to get a reaction from him, it HAS to be the gal.
Batman: You've studied him?
Catwoman: Trust me. I know the type.

"I don't believe in luck. But if I did...NOW would be a good time to start."

"If Clark wanted to, he could use his superspeed and squish me into the cement. But I know how he thinks. Even more than the Kryptonite, he has one big weakness. Deep down, Clark's essentially a good person...and deep down, I'm NOT."

"Come on, Clark. BE THE BOY SCOUT."

"Sometimes all the detective work in the world can't beat a super-dog with a keen sense of smell."

Superman: Catwoman. Was that REALLY necessary?
Batman/Catwoman: Yes.

"There was something about the Opera--how they often ended in TRAGEDY--that my father found appealing..."

Catwoman: Badly concieved. Badly acted. Badly staged. The audience actually wants their money back.

"In the insanity of this evening, the audience believes we are part of the show. The Opera."

Catwoman: Batman...
Batman: Lie still. You need medical attention.
Catwoman: I know that...come closer... If you ever choose to rescue...me again...over catching the bad guy...I swear, I'll scratch your eyes out.

"Dick. Dick Greyson. Nightwing. He explained to me once that The Joker and I are forever linked in constant battle. That, in some sick way, The Joker exists because of me. How I reperesent the order that is necessary to live in Gotham City and The Joker is the chaos that disrupts that order. ... I think about what Nightwing said. My being responsible for The Joker as years worth of rage courses through my fist. I cannot...I will not...accept any responsibillity...for The Joker."

The Joker: HELLLLLP! WILDMAN! MADMAN! BATTYMAN!

"There is NOTHING I can do to him that would cause him the agony that he has brought upon others. But I can come CLOSE."

Batman: How many more lives are we going to let him ruin?
Gordon: I don't care. I won't let him ruin yours.

Selina: Oh, please, not "O' Captain, My Captain"...
Leslie: Don't you know, Selina? It's one of Bruce's favorite pieces.
Selina: Remind me not to have him speak at MY funeral...

Batman: If detective work were easy--everyone would be doing it.
Nightwing: Was that...humor? No I AM worried about you.

Nightwing: Does she have to listen to everything?
Batman: You'd know better than I would.
Oracle: I HEARD THAT!

Nightwing: Look, this may be none of my damn business. And I know you think I'm against you going out with a former...known...theif, or whatever she is...was. Anyway, I'm not. Against it.
Bruce, I've known you too long. I came down to the cave expecting to find you draped in shadows. Cut off from everyone--including yourself. You lost an old friend. I get it. But--there's something different about you. Good different.
If she makes you happy--great. Except--every relationship you've ever had with a woman--either as Bruce or Batman--has gotten screwed up because you didn't tell her about your being...either Batman or Bruce.
My point is--TELL HER. Hell, you've known each other so long, she probably already knows.
Batman: You're right.
Nightwing: Really...?
Batman: It IS none of your damn business.

"The LexCorp Gulf Stream 5 has the same specifications as WayneTech's Air Glide 3. Lucius tells me that we'll be in court for years over patent infringement. Having knowledge of the inner workings of the air craft gives me the edge. It's one of the few times I'm grateful for the way LexCorp does business.

Continued:

Catwoman: I know you're awake. CATS can sense that sort of thing.
Talia: I can smell him on you. LOVERS can sense that sort of thing.

"Think like the enemy, and to do so...without becoming the enemy."

Talia: I told you recently there was something different about you. Now, I know why. You care for her, maybe...even love her. Your mysterious opponent knows this and will use that against you. Is she worth it?
Batman: ...Yes...

Batman: As soon as Alfred is done, there'll be work to do.
Alfred: Yes, because taking time for this to heal would be out of the question.
Catwoman: I bet you have to do this preety often...?
Batman: No.
Alfred: Constantly.

"I am NOT...nor will I ever be...most people."

"Dick saw being Robin as a THRILL. It's probably why he outgrew it. Jason saw being Robin as a game. It's probably what got him killed. But...Tim...I have to hand it to the boy... He wants to be the world's greatest detective. And from what I've seen so far...he WILL be someday."

Riddler: I USED to be a somebody in this town. Now, everybody has a gimmick. I was going to show them all. AND I DID.

Riddler: Riddle me this... Who is that under Batman's mask? And now the world is my oyster. Right, Bruce?
Batman: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
Riddler: What...?
Batman: What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?
Riddler: "Time to get a new fence." Everyone knows that one. It's worthless.
Batman: That's why I have nothing to fear from you. You HAD to tell Elliot--but no one else. Not even CLAYFACE when he was playing "Robin." I know you, EDWARD NYGMA. Maybe better than you know yourself. Riddles are your compulsion. Your addiction. And a RIDDLE THAT EVERYONE KNOWS the answer to is..."worthless."

Guard: What happened?
Batman: He fell.

Catwoman: Oh. So, it's over. If you wand me to say, "I love you..." Listen, I don't need to know if this started out as a spell. Forget about being a detective for once. We are what we are. THAT'S why it works. Maybe, someday, you'll come to TRUST that. Until then...

[VaderRISE]

One of the FUNNIEST lines Batman ever said was in The Animated Series, the show "Almost Got 'im."


Batman as Croc: "And then I threw a rock at him!"

[Other rogues look unimpressed.]

Batman as Croc: [lamely] "Well......It was a big rock....."

[DarkKnightJRK]

One of the FUNNIEST lines Batman ever said was in The Animated Series, the show "Almost Got 'im."


Batman as Croc: "And then I threw a rock at him!"

[Other rogues look unimpressed.]

Batman as Croc: [lamely] "Well......It was a big rock....."

Hehehehe. :D

Though, I think the "Night of the Creeper" was funnier:

*After seeing Creeper get crushed by a big box*
Batman: We have to get him out!
Robin: Got a mop?

*Batman and Robin on a building, scouting*
Robin: Which way did they go?
*huge explosion in the background*
Batman: That way.

:D

Also, the Jessie Jackson-esque' guy was hilarious, "If the Bat's on a spree, Wayne must pay the fee!"

[MaskedManJRK]

Batman: Black & White

"People think I'm a knight. A savior. But, in trugh, I'm only a vessel to hold thememories of those who've passed on. Those who've no shell left to store them.
"They must think I revel in my victories; it must seem like I never lose a fight.
"I lose plenty.
"The ones I couldn't get to. The ones I couldn't save in time. Those are the ones I carry around inside of me. Those are the ones I'll mourn forever.
"...You only have your thoughts and your dreams ahead of you. You're someone. You mean something. I'll remember. You're within me now.
"Forever."
-- Perpetual Mourning

"Mutants. Mising heiresses. Kid stuff. As if it took a lab and a mad scientist to make a monster. When all it takes--is a street."

"What's a BATMAN supposed to do with people like this? Compassionless...angry...kill you as soon as look at you. By all definations, monsters. Eleven years-old. Dear God...
"Should be running around with a rubber ball in his pockets. Instead, he packs a gun.
"How do they get so screwed up?"

"Get them young--give them 'family,' an attitude--and permission to kill--THAT is how you make a monster. No test tube required."
--Monster Maker

"No. That was too easy. No, Bruce. Listen. Listen.
"You can hear me. You can feel me. I flow with the blood in your veins, I am the thing that rides your spine in the gold hours. You can feel me, Bruce, try to feel me. And remember. Try to remember.
"When your eyes stared upon the helpless, the discraced, the humiliated victims of inhumanity... The shorrow, the pity, the disgust may have been yours...and the vengence...but the Justice was mine.
" ... I know you thought, Bruce, as you lay there these moments staring into the dead boy's eyes that could, or should, have been you those yars ago.
"But you didn't die then and you came to me. I needed you then, and Bruce, I need you now. I need you more than ever. Surely...you reconize me.
"You are with me--I am with you most every night. You know me by the should I make rushing--pounding through your veins. Listen.
"Listen... GOTHAM...GOTHAM... WE, Bruce...WE ARE THE BATMAN."
--Dead Boy's Eyes

"Dear Bruce,
"I have just left you sleeping in your bed...yet I clind to you still, if but in memory. The snow lies heavy against Wayne Manor. It is so very quiet.
"I hear you still, inside me. Your laugh.
"From the first moment I saw you, your joy has infected me. It has changed me. For you see, I was also born...that day when you arrived.
"I ran through the snow to find you, calm and waiting. Already, you were the teacher. And I was beginning to learn. Before you were born, I was a man convinced life was meant to be conquered. And I spent every minute of my life in pursuit of that. I was determined. I was determined to conquer every disease, vanquished every hatred, put a torch to every darkness. I was obsessed. As I hope you will never be. I want better for you.
"Today, we celebrated your third birthday. You have grown so much, my son. I remember you taking your first steps. Courageous. Fearless. Resourceful in the face of great odds.
"I think of the coming days...as I watch you grow to be a man. When I can speak to you of such things. The love of children. The need for balance. Disease will be conquered. And hate will be vanquished. What you have taught me, I will teach to you.
"There will always be a light to keep us from the dark.
"Your loving father,
"Thomas"
--Good Evening, Midnight

Batman: You've used me--or rather, the threat of me--as a monster, a bogeyman to control your own son. This is cruel and unfair to him. Kyle's bogeyman is not called Batman...he's called DADDY. ... Can you fell it?
Man: I...don't...yes! Yes!
Batman: Pure...absolute...TERROR?
Man: Please! I don't know...I don't know...Yes...yes...whatever you say...p-please...
Batman: I want you know one final thing... I'm not Kyle's bogeyman, you pathetic waste of skin...I'm YOURS.

"A blustery evening in Gotham...I said that there are two ways to go through this...the easy way...and the hard; Violent and non-violent...painful or not... I was wrong. Niave and simplistic...
"Blaming others for our ills is easy. Pulling a trigger is easy. Victimizing ourselves and others is easy... Our courts are clogged with those who see personal responsibility as the other guy's job.
"When it comes to real personal growth...facing our pain...our fears...our demons...there is only one way to go through it...
"The only way."
--Bent Twigs

[Hellstormer]

Not sure if I got these exact

Morgan Freeman- What exactley do you need this for?
Christian Bale- Spelunking.
-----------------------------
Freeman-So you like it?
Bale- Does it come in Black?
-----------------------------
Alfred- Why do we fall, sir? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up.

[The BatDude]

batman movie (1989) quotes and i added some joker ones as well

The Joker: Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas?
Bruce Wayne: Most of the time.

Mugger: Don't kill me, man - don't kill me!
Batman: I'm not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.
Mugger: Who are you?!
Batman: I'm Batman.

Vicki Vale: I just gotta know, are we going to try to love each other?
Bruce Wayne: I'd like to. But he's out there right now, and I've gotta go to work

Vicki Vale: Some people think you're as dangerous as the Joker.
Batman: He's psychotic.
Vicki Vale: Some people say the same about you.

Batman: You killed my parents.
The Joker: What? What? What are you talking about?
Batman: I made you, you made me first.
The Joker: Give me a break. I was a kid when I killed your parents. When I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me." How childish can you get?

The Joker: I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.

The Joker: Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of laughter?


Vicki Vale: You're insane
Joker: I thought I was a Pisces


Batman: What people?
Vicki Vale: Well, face it. You're not exactly normal, are you?
Batman: This isn't exactly a normal world, is it?

The Joker: Never rub another man's rhubarb

The Joker: Where does he get those wonderful toys?

The Joker: Gotham City. Always brings a smile to my face.

[MaskedManJRK]

The Joker: Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas?
Bruce Wayne: Most of the time.

Does anyone know what Joker meant by the 'n'est-ce pas' bit?

Vicki Vale: I just gotta know, are we going to try to love each other?
Bruce Wayne: I'd like to. But he's out there right now, and I've gotta go to work.

I love that quote, fits Batman to a tee, in my opinion. :up:

[The BatDude]

Does anyone know what Joker meant by the 'n'est-ce pas' bit?



I love that quote, fits Batman to a tee, in my opinion. :up:
yeah it does fit batman

[The BatDude]

now its time for batman begins quotes

bruce: They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge... Me.

Bruce: I wanted to save Gotham... I've failed.
Alfred: Why do we fall master Wayne? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.
Bruce: You still haven't given up on me, have you?
Alfred: Never.

Alfred : Are you coming back to Gotham for long, sir?
Bruce : As long as it takes. I'm gonna show the people of Gotham that their city doesn't belong to the criminals and the corrupt.

Bruce: People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy and I can't do that as Bruce Wayne, as a man I'm flesh and blood I can be ignored I can be destroyed but as a symbol, as a symbol I can be incorruptible, I can be everlasting.

Batman: It's not who I am underneath, but what I do, that defines me

Bruce: Why are you doing this?
Prison Guard: For protection!
Bruce: I don't need protection!
Prison Guard: Protection for them!

Batman: Nice.
Gordon: Couldn't find any mob bosses.
Batman: Well, Sergeant?
Gordon: Oh, it's lieutenant now. You really started something. Bent cops running scared. Hope on the streets.
Batman: But?
Gordon: The Narrows is lost. And we still haven't picked up Crane or half the inmates of Arkham that he freed.
Batman: We will. We can bring Gotham back.
Gordon: And what about escalation?
Batman: Escalation?
Gordon: We start carrying semi-automatics, they buy automatics. We start wearing Kevlar...they buy armor-piercing rounds.
Batman: And?
Gordon: And you're wearing a mask...and jumping off rooftops. Now, take this new guy. Armed robbery, double homicide. Got a taste for the theatrical...like you. Leaves a calling card.
Batman: I'll look into it.
Gordon: I never said thank you.
Batman: And you'll never have to.

Gordon: I gotta get me one of those

Bruce: My anger outweighs my guilt.

[The BatDude]

Does anyone know what Joker meant by the 'n'est-ce pas' bit?


i think i means a rhetorical question

[The BatDude]

Batman Returns qoutes

Catwomen: How could you? I'm a woman.
Batman: I'm sorry, I...
(hits Batman)
Catwoman: As I was saying, I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted. Life's a *****, now so am I.

Bruce: Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working; I turn around, there she is. "Oh hi, Vick - come on in."

Gordon: Thanks for the saving the day, Batman. I'm afraid the circus gang is back.
Batman: We'll see.

Selina: It's gonna be a hot time in a cold town tonight.
Bruce: You've got sort of a dark side, don't you?
Selina: No darker than yours, Bruce.

Caywomen: You're catnip to a girl like me. Handsome, dazed, and to die for. Your the sencond man who killed me this week, but I've got 7 lives left.
Batman: I tried to save you.
Catwoman: Mmm seems like every woman you try to save winds up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe it's time for you to retire.

Alfred: Why are you still up? Are you concerned about that strange, heroic Penguin person?
Batman: I think he knows who his parents are. There's something else.

Batman: Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it.
Catwoman: A kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it.

Did somebody say fish? I haven't be fed all day!
Batman: Eat floor.
9throws catwoman down]0
Batman: High fiber.

You're not the mayor.
The Penguin: Things change.
Batman: What do you want?
The Penguin: Ah, the direct approach. I admire that from a man with a mask.
The Penguin: You don't really think you'll win, do you?
Batman: Things change.

Bruce: Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will towards men... and women.

Catwoman: You're catnip to a girl like me. Handsome, dazed, and to die for. You're the second man who killed me this week, but I've got 7 lives left.
Batman: I tried to save you.
Catwoman: Mmm... seems like every woman you try to save winds up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe it's time for you to retire.

Penguin: You're just jealous that I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask!
Batman: You might be right.

[MaskedManJRK]

Green Arrow: Quiver

SUPERMAN: What kind of masochist keeps track of the different kinds of pain they've--
BATMAN: Four-hundred and ninety-six, by my last count.

SUPERMAN: Don't you believe in redemption of any kind?
BATMAN: I believe in justice. Period.
SUPERMAN: I believe in second chances.
BATMAN: Then let's recruit Doomsday to bring back the sun.
SUPERMAN: I stand corrected, I have felt a chill in my bones before. Every time I try to reason with you.

WONDER WOMAN: How long have you been skulking around here?
BATMAN: Long enough to hear that none of you could get past your cartoonish, slack-jawed dumbfoundedness over the situation and secure any answers as to why a man who we all know is dead walks around articulating like a walking anachronism.
GREEN LANTERN: That is, by far, the most complex sentence I've heard anyone utter.
FLASH: Ten bucks says he's been hiding in the shadows for the last hour, just so he could come up with a put-down that classy.

SPOILER: With all due respect, Bats...anyone ever tell you you're a wierd guy?

SPOILER: ...You knock him out, X-ray every bone in his body, and give him multiple cat-scans. Or do we call 'em 'Bat-scans' down here?
BATMAN: And I thought Tim was chatty.

BATMAN: My point is...I tend to expect the unexpected.

GREEN ARROW: All I remember is meeting the Fascist League's Junior G-Man, and then someone sucker-punching me... HEY! IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT?!
BATMAN: And people call me the detective.

GREEN ARROW: Can I at least ask WHY you were examining me in the first place? Where I'm from, a guy punches you and takes his clothes off, he's either hazing you or dating you!

GREEN ARROW: This beats the Arrow-Plane all to hell!
BATMAN: Arrow-Plane. Haven't heard that in ages. You retired it years ago, along with the Arrow-Car.
GREEN ARROW: What about the Arrow-Cave?
BATMAN: Good Lord, man--did you EVER have an original thought back then?

BATMAN: What was THAT?!
GREEN ARROW: Fire Extinguisher Arrow.
BATMAN: ...I will never...EVER...mock your trick arrows again.

GREEN ARROW: You've got some wierd friend, you know that?
BATMAN: Says my friend who died.

ARSENAL: I was worried how she'd feel, seeing him again. They didn't part very well, last time they saw each other. Guess that answers that.
BATMAN: Dinah's a complex woman. I wouldn't necessarily assume all's been copmletely forgiven just yet.
ARSENAL: You're a real romantic, you know that?

ARSENAL: Who is this guy Blood anyway?
BATMAN: An occultist, a mage of sorts.
*Batman sees an upside-down cross hanging on the wall*
BATMAN: And a man with a very sick sense of humor, apparently.

BLOOD/DEADMAN: Ollie's okay. Hal pulled him out of the mix before Etrigan had a chance to fry him.
BLACK CANARY: HAL?!?
BATMAN: Yes. It seems none of our departed ranks knows how to stay dead anymore.

ARSENAL: Classic Ollie... Man, I really hope I'm wrong. I mean, aren't most heroes BEYOND kid sidekicks at this point in their careers.
BLACK CANARY: Ahem...
(Arsenal looks at Batman.)
ARSENAL: Not...you know...that there's anything wrong with that... Oh boy.

ARSENAL: You've got to get off that kick about Ollie.
BLACK CANARY: Fine--YOU get off YOUR kick about him abandoning you!
BATMAN: Perhaps you should BOTH get off your respective "kicks" and appreciate the fact that the man's alive.
ARESNAL / BLACK CANARY: ...Yeah...

[Batman]

My god...I really,really need to find a copy of Quiver....

[MaskedManJRK]

My god...I really,really need to find a copy of Quiver....

Yes, yes you should. Kevin Smith's best writing ANYWHERE. Yes, I'm including the movies.

[Hellstormer]

Yes, yes you should. Kevin Smith's best writing ANYWHERE. Yes, I'm including the movies.Ya Lunchbox is one of my personal favorites and Phil Hester's art isn't half bad either.

[nite-owl]

Batman: I've been so blind ... All this time. I thought the real Bruce Wayne was that happy child of memeory ... But now that everything has been stripped away from him, I realize that mask is not Bruce .... not at all. I am Bruce Wayne. I always have been.

[The BatDude]

Batman: I've been so blind ... All this time. I thought the real Bruce Wayne was that happy child of memeory ... But now that everything has been stripped away from him, I realize that mask is not Bruce .... not at all. I am Bruce Wayne. I always have been.

where is that from?

[MaskedManJRK]

where is that from?

Bruce Wayne: Fugitive, Volume 3.

[Cats]

"Dear Bruce,
"I have just left you sleeping in your bed...yet I clind to you still, if but in memory. The snow lies heavy against Wayne Manor. It is so very quiet.
"I hear you still, inside me. Your laugh.
"From the first moment I saw you, your joy has infected me. It has changed me. For you see, I was also born...that day when you arrived.
"I ran through the snow to find you, calm and waiting. Already, you were the teacher. And I was beginning to learn. Before you were born, I was a man convinced life was meant to be conquered. And I spent every minute of my life in pursuit of that. I was determined. I was determined to conquer every disease, vanquished every hatred, put a torch to every darkness. I was obsessed. As I hope you will never be. I want better for you.
"Today, we celebrated your third birthday. You have grown so much, my son. I remember you taking your first steps. Courageous. Fearless. Resourceful in the face of great odds.
"I think of the coming days...as I watch you grow to be a man. When I can speak to you of such things. The love of children. The need for balance. Disease will be conquered. And hate will be vanquished. What you have taught me, I will teach to you.
"There will always be a light to keep us from the dark.
"Your loving father,
"Thomas"
--Good Evening, Midnight
What a beautiful letter... and how sad. I guess Bruce became more like his father than was intended.

[MaskedManJRK]

Batman: War on Crime

"I buried my parents here where I was eight. Since that day, part of me has always been bound to this place. To the memories of innocent people destroyed by crime. Ghosts long-departed and ghosts who still wait."

"I have sacrificed much to operate as Batman. My wealth buys me privacy, crucial to the survival of both my idenities. But what kind of man would I have become if things had been different. If, instead of using my fortune as a means to fight crime, I allowed myself to be ruled by it and all its temptations. If I truely became what I appeared to be to others."

"The shots told me what to expect. I'm not surprised when I see the bodies. Then I see something else. Something unexpected. But familiar."

"The boy's name is Marcus. The only family he has is awaiting the coroner's van.
"I see him later, sitting alone, lost in the confusion of a busy night at the station. In time the police will provide him with shelter and food. Perhaps counseling.
"It's hardly enough, and it won't wipe away what he's feeling tonight. The grief, rage, and fear.
"The first night is always the worst."

"Whether the scars are physical or mental, crime wounds everyone it touches.
"It brings injury and death.
"Poisons the mind and soul.
"And in the end, leaves only dispair."

"The woman behind the counter is a hardened criminal. I've hander her over to the police several times before. I'll probably do it again.
"Like many, she returns from confinement determined to maintain a quiet, low-profile extistence. She tries very hard to fit in. Working a simple job, forcing away any thoughts of her criminal past.
"I sense she doesn't know how to live this way. The crushing drudgery of her self-inflicted routine will soon send her back into past habits and the influence of old friends.
"There is a ssad predictability to this woman's situation. A frailty that I feel as her delicate hand brushes against mine.
"Crime is a netlike trap from which few truely escape."

"In my darkest moments, I'm taunted by the suspicion that my parents' murder was the best thing that ever happened to me. Cynically, I tell myself it has given my life a destiny and the means to fulfill it.
"I try to imagine what my life would have been like as a poor child on the street, my family gone, no one to look after me.
"Stripped of those resources, would I still have tried to fight crime however I could, or would I have turned my anger back on society as so many others have done?"

"Night after night I'm there, waging my fight against crime in whatever form it takes. I strike quickly and vanish, a vengeful extension of the darkness. My unspoken message swiftly spreads through the streets: Someone's watching, and he's angry."

"'Marcus, this isn't you. At least, it doesn't have to be. I saw what happened to your parents. I know what you're feeling.
"'A man with a gun once took away people I loved. I never stopped missing them. Never forgot it was to be alone.
"'You can't bring your parents back, but you can break the cycle of violence that took them. Don't be a part of it, Marcus.
"'Don't become what killed our families.'"

"I know I am fighting a war I can never completely win. But there are small victories that encourage me to keep trying. If I can win back one child, ther may be hope for many others. If it starts with one person, and then a neighborhood, then perhaps redemption can spread through an entire city, and finally back to me."

"I helped Marcus deal with his pain. It will take him some time, but I know it will eventually leave him.
"Maybe someday I'll feel I can leave mine behind as well.
"But for now I still wait."

[MaskedManJRK]

Kingdom Come

SUPERMAN: Bruce, I know you're down here. You can't hide from me.
BATMAN: I bow to your superior wisdom. After all...you know all about hiding...don't you Clark?

SUPERMAN: That's right. Someone told me your nights became free once Genosyde blew up Arkham Asylum and everyone in it.
BATMAN: Not to mention Bellereve Prison and Blackgate. Not an action I'd condone...but tell me the thougth of it doesn't give your invulnerable sking a little tingle.
SUPERMAN: I don't have that dark a side.
BATMAN: Tell that do your tailor. Black is a new look for you.

SUPERMAN: Dick doesn't see it that way.
BATMAN: You got him to reclaim the Robin mantle. Is that supposed to sway me? Try harder. He and I never did see eye to eye.

DINAH: You sound as if you have a plan.
OLLIE: How soon they forget.
TED: Does Batman ever not have a plan?

IBN AL EX'FFASHCH:And they're prepared to fight tooth and nail with the generation that sired them?
BATMAN: Aren't all young people, son?

BATMAN: J'onn...can you verify?
J'ONN: I wuh-will attempt...TOO MUCH NOISE! TOO MUCH--
BATMAN: Shh. Shh. It's okay.
J'ONN: What n-now? I want to stay, I want to...muh-matter, I... Oh. You...you don't think I'll h-help...
BATMAN: J'onn, you fought the good fight longer than any of us. You've done all that's ever been asked of you. And today is no exception. You've paid your dues, old friend. Go hom and rest. Dream of red sands and silent stars.

LUTHOR: B-But our goals--
BATMAN: My only goal in allying with you was to learn your connection to Captain Marvel. In this entire global conflict, he was the wild card...and I hate wild cards.
LUTHOR: You--you double-crossed me!
BATMAN: I learned from you.
DARKSTAR: Then may we assume you've given the signal?
BATMAN: Absolutely. Strike.

SUPERMAN: The deliberate taking of human--even super-human life goes against every belief I have--and that you have. That's the one thing we've always had in common. It's what made us what we are. More than anyone in the world, when you scratch everything else away from Batman, you're left with someone who doesn't want to see anybody die.

*After Superman disapears when Batman turns away*
BATMAN: So that's what that feels like...

BATMAN: Shazam.
LUTHOR: Shut up.

BATMAN: Clark. Diana.
SUPERMAN: There you are. You snuck up on me. Me. How do you do that?

ROBIN WAITER: Hi, I'm Robin.
BATMAN: Of course you are.
...
BATMAN: Steak. Well-done.
ROBIN WAITER: Which? There's the Man of Beef, there's the--
BATMAN: Steak. Well-done.

DIANA: We...we have something to announce.
BATMAN: You're pregnant.
SUPERMAN/DIANA: ...
DIANA: How...how did you...?
BATMAN: Observation. For an ageless Amazon of perfect physique, you've put on a pound or two. That was my first clue. There were others.

SUPERMAN: You're right about me. Trust is the center of my world. I don't know if that makes me an expert on it...but I know I trust you. Despite our differences over the years...I always have.

BATMAN: You realize you've just handed me influence over the most powerful child in the world?
SUPERMAN: I thought you agreed rather quickly.

[MaskedManJRK]

Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth

"But even then, I think I understood that mother HAD been born again, into that other world.
"A world of fathomless signs and portents.
"Of magic and terror.
"And mysterious symbols."

BATMAN: Afraid? Batman's not afraid of anything. It's me. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that The Joker may be right about me. Sometimes I...question the rationality of my actions. And I'm afraid that when I walk through those asylum gates...when I walk into Arkham and the doors close behind me...it'll be just like coming home.

JOKER: Bye, Pearl. Let's do it again sometime!
BATMAN: But what about her eyes? You said...
JOKER: APRIL FOOL. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

JOKER: Cheer up, honey pie! Listen: How many brittle bone babies does it take to--
BATMAN: Shut up.
JOKER: Oooh! At home with Mr. Touchy, are we? Loosen up, tight-ass!
BATMAN: TAKE YOU FILTHY HANDS OFF ME!
JOKER: What's the manner, have I touched a nerve? How's the Boy Wonder? Started shaving yet?
BATMAN: Filthy degenerate!
JOKER: Flattery will get you nowhere.

CHARLIE: Joker! I had enough of this madness!
JOKER: Enough madness? Enough? And how do you measure madness? Not with rods and wheels and checks, surely? You know you look so pretty when your mad. KISS ME CHARLIE! RAVISH ME! But no tongue, ya hear? Not on the first date.
CHARLIE: I'm warning you...
JOKER: You're in no position to issue warnings, Charlie, not with your guilty secret. Now you sit down and stay down before I think of something funny to do with you.

JOKER: Please miss! Two-Face pissed himself again!

RUTH: Mother.
BATMAN: Ah. Pearl.
RUTH: Handle.
BATMAN: Revolver.
RUTH: Gun.
BATMAN: Father.
RUTH: Father?
BATMAN: Death.
RUTH: End.
BATMAN: Stop. Stop.
JOKER: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

JOKER: Well... This guy goes into the hospital, okay? ...His wife's just had a baby boy and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, "Oh, Doc, I've been so worried, how are they?"
And the doctor smiles and says, "They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form.
"You're one lucky guy."
So the guy rushes into the Maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty.
His wife's bed is empty.
"Doc?" He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face:
"APRIL FOOL! YOUR WIFE'S DEAD AND THE BABY'S A SPASTIC!!"
...Get it?

TWO-FACE: The moon is so beautiful. It's a big silver dollar, flipped by God. And it landed scarred side up, see? So he made the world.

"And then I look at the Dollhouse. And the Dollhouse
"Looks
"At
"Me.
"Slowly, methodically, I put on my Mother's wedding dress and I kneel down. I kneel down in that nursery abattow. It all seems perfectly rational. Perfectly perfectly rational.
"Later, I find myself sobbing, choking, retching into the lavatory bowl. Is this what it all comes down to--all our dreams and hopes and aspirations?
"Nothing but vomit?
"Oh God, I'm afraid.
"I'm so afraid.
"I think I may be ill."

MAD HATTER: Sometimes...sometimes I think the asylum is a head. We're inside a huge head that dreams us all into being. Perhaps, it's your head, Batman. Arkham is a looking glass. And we are you.

MAXIE ZEUS: Ah. A pilgrim. Come into my presence, pilgrim. Gaze upon the Lord thy God.
Zeus Arrhenothelus, part man, part woman, electricty enflams my brain. Voltage. Current. The fire of Heaven. ...
Electricity. Ahh. Gift of my body, divine. Fertile. It shall transform the dry lands of Africa into the purfumed orchards of paradise and men will worship me anew.
For I am Zeus, Lord of Ect. God of electric retribution. I give, so that thou shouldst give. Here, my gift to you. Do you want power? I can give you power.
Eat. Drink. This is my body. This is my blood. The AC/DC alter awaits! Let me know you in the form of a shower of sparks!

"And the world explodes. There is nothing to hold onto. No anchor. Panic stricken, I flee. I run blindly through the madhouse.
"And I cannot even pray. For I have no God."

"I am not mad. I am not mad. But God help me, I see it. I see the thing that has haunted and tormented my poor mother these long years. I see it. And it is a bat. A BAT!"

CAVENDISH: You see now? You understand? You who've kept this place supplied with poor mad souls for years. You who've fed this hungry house. Do you see? You are the Bat!
BATMAN: No. I...I'm just a man.
CAVENDISH: I'm not fooled by that cheep disquise. I know what you are.

RUTH: You're going back in, aren't you? You're going to undo all my work... What are you?
BATMAN: Stronger than them. Stronger than this place. I have to show them.
RUTH: That's insane.
BATMAN: Exactly. Arkham was right; sometimes it's only madness that makes us what we are. Or destiny, perhaps.

JOKER: Parting is such sweet sorrow, darest. Still, you can't say we didn't show you a good time. Enjoy yourself out there. In the Asylum.

[Qoèlet]

Does anyone know what Joker meant by the 'n'est-ce pas' bit?
"Isn't it."

No Man's Land:
Superman(on his attempt to fit into the run down population of Gotham): How'd I do?
Batman: The toes of your shoes are scuffed, but you forgot to scuff the heels. Your shirt is dirty but bears no evidence of sweat or epidermal oil secretion stains-- And no one around here has smelled like deodorant soap or laundry detergent for over five months.
Superman: And if I asked someone who wasn't the world's greatest detective?
Batman: You look fine.

Penguin (facing Batman to one side and Robin to the other): Why can't you two get a day job?

[Lone Wolf]

Batman: War on Crime

"I buried my parents here where I was eight. Since that day, part of me has always been bound to this place. To the memories of innocent people destroyed by crime. Ghosts long-departed and ghosts who still wait."

"I have sacrificed much to operate as Batman. My wealth buys me privacy, crucial to the survival of both my idenities. But what kind of man would I have become if things had been different. If, instead of using my fortune as a means to fight crime, I allowed myself to be ruled by it and all its temptations. If I truely became what I appeared to be to others."

"The shots told me what to expect. I'm not surprised when I see the bodies. Then I see something else. Something unexpected. But familiar."

"The boy's name is Marcus. The only family he has is awaiting the coroner's van.
"I see him later, sitting alone, lost in the confusion of a busy night at the station. In time the police will provide him with shelter and food. Perhaps counseling.
"It's hardly enough, and it won't wipe away what he's feeling tonight. The grief, rage, and fear.
"The first night is always the worst."

"Whether the scars are physical or mental, crime wounds everyone it touches.
"It brings injury and death.
"Poisons the mind and soul.
"And in the end, leaves only dispair."

"The woman behind the counter is a hardened criminal. I've hander her over to the police several times before. I'll probably do it again.
"Like many, she returns from confinement determined to maintain a quiet, low-profile extistence. She tries very hard to fit in. Working a simple job, forcing away any thoughts of her criminal past.
"I sense she doesn't know how to live this way. The crushing drudgery of her self-inflicted routine will soon send her back into past habits and the influence of old friends.
"There is a ssad predictability to this woman's situation. A frailty that I feel as her delicate hand brushes against mine.
"Crime is a netlike trap from which few truely escape."

"In my darkest moments, I'm taunted by the suspicion that my parents' murder was the best thing that ever happened to me. Cynically, I tell myself it has given my life a destiny and the means to fulfill it.
"I try to imagine what my life would have been like as a poor child on the street, my family gone, no one to look after me.
"Stripped of those resources, would I still have tried to fight crime however I could, or would I have turned my anger back on society as so many others have done?"

"Night after night I'm there, waging my fight against crime in whatever form it takes. I strike quickly and vanish, a vengeful extension of the darkness. My unspoken message swiftly spreads through the streets: Someone's watching, and he's angry."

"'Marcus, this isn't you. At least, it doesn't have to be. I saw what happened to your parents. I know what you're feeling.
"'A man with a gun once took away people I loved. I never stopped missing them. Never forgot it was to be alone.
"'You can't bring your parents back, but you can break the cycle of violence that took them. Don't be a part of it, Marcus.
"'Don't become what killed our families.'"

"I know I am fighting a war I can never completely win. But there are small victories that encourage me to keep trying. If I can win back one child, ther may be hope for many others. If it starts with one person, and then a neighborhood, then perhaps redemption can spread through an entire city, and finally back to me."

"I helped Marcus deal with his pain. It will take him some time, but I know it will eventually leave him.
"Maybe someday I'll feel I can leave mine behind as well.
"But for now I still wait."

I absolutly loved that part in the whole book.Talk about great.

[Cats]

Batman: Night Cries

"The cries pierce his sleep, driving him awake. Even rising, there is no shutting them out. It is time. Time to don the mask. Time to hunt. In a city full of prey."

"He comes out of the darkness. Eyes glittering, threatening, like the gun that he holds. Perhaps only robbery is his intention but when he is done - my mother and father are dead. And a void opens that I will devote my life attempting to fill. A task terrible, elusive -- despite the extremes to which I'm willing to go. But, even if temporary, there are satisfactions. The shock. The fear. Freezing their faces, eating at their thoughts. What kind of madman comes among them like this? Wearing the suit, defying their guns? What level of craziness hides behind a mask and shadows? How far will it go? Where will it end? Their minds question. I strike. An important edge I've trained years to assure that I have others. Beyond all else, there is the void. The hole in my life where two people I loved used to be. Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, my parents, my family. The void yawns. It cannot be filled. But I owe the debt to men like these -- for the opportunity to try."

"Something draws him to the horror, calls him through the darkness, drives him over the edge. How close is that to what drives me?"

"The sheet, like sleep itself, is no protection. The cries come again. he cannot stop hearing them. They cannot be shut out. Another night waits. This time free of falling snow. A perfect night. A hunter's night. The mask and equipment are close at hand. The cries piercingly strong, shatteringly clear. And he knows what must be done to bring silence once more."

"This country has over two million cases of child abuse every year, more than two thousand deaths. Too many cries. I can't go on listening, someone else has to hear them. I can't..."

"In the night, he listens. And only the sound of his own voice comes to him, screaming in frustration. The cry of a lone bat. Unable to find its way."

[MaskedManJRK]

Batman: Night Cries

"The cries pierce his sleep, driving him awake. Even rising, there is no shutting them out. It is time. Time to don the mask. Time to hunt. In a city full of prey."

"He comes out of the darkness. Eyes glittering, threatening, like the gun that he holds. Perhaps only robbery is his intention but when he is done - my mother and father are dead. And a void opens that I will devote my life attempting to fill. A task terrible, elusive -- despite the extremes to which I'm willing to go. But, even if temporary, there are satisfactions. The shock. The fear. Freezing their faces, eating at their thoughts. What kind of madman comes among them like this? Wearing the suit, defying their guns? What level of craziness hides behind a mask and shadows? How far will it go? Where will it end? Their minds question. I strike. An important edge I've trained years to assure that I have others. Beyond all else, there is the void. The hole in my life where two people I loved used to be. Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, my parents, my family. The void yawns. It cannot be filled. But I owe the debt to men like these -- for the opportunity to try."

"Something draws him to the horror, calls him through the darkness, drives him over the edge. How close is that to what drives me?"

"The sheet, like sleep itself, is no protection. The cries come again. he cannot stop hearing them. They cannot be shut out. Another night waits. This time free of falling snow. A perfect night. A hunter's night. The mask and equipment are close at hand. The cries piercingly strong, shatteringly clear. And he knows what must be done to bring silence once more."

"This country has over two million cases of child abuse every year, more than two thousand deaths. Too many cries. I can't go on listening, someone else has to hear them. I can't..."

"In the night, he listens. And only the sound of his own voice comes to him, screaming in frustration. The cry of a lone bat. Unable to find its way."

I want to read that one so f**king bad it hurts. :(

[Bullseye]

"I will not... take any responsibility... for the Joker." - Batman - Hush

[Vile]

Scarecrow: But if I am truely the Master of Fear it is time to conquor that which really scares me...the only thing that scares me....Batman.

Scarecrow: If I am the Master of Fear than surely you are it's King. (To Batman)

[Batman911]

(while in a burning building)
Oracle: Well, last time I checked im black, not japanese.
Batman: I know.
- War games

[CrimsonMist]

taken from Swamp Thing #54

Mayor: But you dont understand! That woman had a relationship with something that isnt human! We cant make exceptions to the law!!

Batman: No Exceptions? I see. In that case, i suggest you start rounding up all the pther non human beings who may be having relationships outside their species.

Mayor: What do you mean?

Batman: I mean, if you want to take this all the way, non humanity doesnt end with the Swamp Thing. Let me see...you'll possibly have to arrest Hawkman and Metamorpho. And there's also Starfire from the Titans. Her race evolved from cats, i believe. The Martian Manhunter, obviously Captain Atom.....And then of course, there's what's-his-name....the one who lives in Metropolis.

Mayor: (practically ****s himself) OH GOD! I hadn't though! I didnt realize... Hello? Hello, carrie? Can you put through a call to Washington please? Yes, yes it IS pretty urgent.

Batman & Gordon stand there with smirks on their faces
----------------------------------------
TAKEN FROM SAME ISSUE:

Batman: Be outside the court building in an hour. All charges have been dropped, on orders from Washington. They're letting her go. You've won.......
But if you EVER do this to my city again....i'll kill you.

Swamp Thing: Yes...yes, i do believe that you might.
--------------------------------------------------------
DARK KNIGHT RETURNS

thug: No! STAY BACK!! I got rights!!::falls out window onto fire escape::

Batman: You've got rights. Lots of rights. Sometimes i cound them just to make myself feel crazy. But right now, you've got a piece of glass shoved into a major artery in your arm.....Right now you're bleeding to death. Right now....im the only one in the world who can get you to a hospital in time.
----------------------------------------------------------
Batman: (to mutant leader in prison) There. Just climb into the pipe. Remember: Rats carry diseases. Dont eat any.
------------------------------------------------
BATMAN: YEAR ONE SCRIPT

Loeb: I've got the woman, and you won't kill me! It's against your code!
Gordon: Do it!
::Batman throws a knife into Loeb's eye::
Batman: I've got lots of codes.
----------------------------------------------------
BATMAN & ROBIN ALL STARS #2.

Robin: Fighting crime?
Batman: Yea. Fighting crime! Do you have a problem with the notion of fighting crime!?

[Fledermaus]

(while in a burning building)
Oracle: Well, last time I checked im black, not japanese.
Batman: I know.
- War games
Orpheus actually said that, not Oracle.

[Bullseye]

Richard Grayson: "You still haven't told me what a "ward" is.

[Batman911]

Orpheus actually said that, not Oracle.

yeah whoops relised that now

[MaskedManJRK]

Richard Grayson: "You still haven't told me what a "ward" is.

Batman: Shut up.

:D

[Two-Face]

Which comic book is that from?

[Lone Wolf]

"By nature criminals are a superstious and cowardly lot.To install fear into their hearts I became a bat,a monster in the night.In doing so have I become the very thing all monsters become.....Alone? -Batman:Hush

[MaskedManJRK]

Which comic book is that from?

All Star Bats #3. Not too bad, though most of it was basically a barmaid called Black Canary slowly snapping and beating the s**t out of everyone in the bar.

[Lone Wolf]

Crap I forgot All Star#3 is out now.

[MaskedManJRK]

The Dark Knight Returns Cont.

"The wind rises, tearing dead leaves free. Frogs croak like a cartoon car alarm. Crickets pick up the chorus.
"A wolf howls.
"I know how he feels."

"I'll count the dead, one by one. I'll add them to the list, Joker. The list of all the people I've murdered...
"...By letting you live."

"There's just the sun and the sky and him, like he's the only reason it's all here.
"Then he ruins everything by talking."

ALFRED: Your accountants wait in the West Wing, sir.
BRUCE: Tell them I'm sick.
ALFRED: Shan't have to lie. That Refugee Charity called...
BRUCE: Write them a check.
ALFRED: And the Committee for the Prevention of Obsessive Behavior in Middle-Aged Men?
BRUCE: Write them a check.
ALFRED: Very good, sir. Your sense of humor is keen as ever, sir.

SUPERMAN: They'll kill us if they can, Bruce. Every year they grow smaller. Every year they hate us more.
We must not remind them that giants walk the Earth.

"It's a .45 caliber bullet. Hollow point. It explodes in his chest. I feel the shock through his fingers.
"For the hundred-thousandth time--my father dies..."

"You tried to warn me, Jim...so many times... You told me that I break too many of the IMPORTANT rules...that I've made too many of the WRONG enemies...that, for all my tricks...I've been getting by on LUCK. It's a game of ODDS, you said...and all it will take...is ONE BULLET."

JOKER: They could put me in a helicopter and fly me up into the air and line the bodies head to toe on the ground in delightful geometric patterns like an endless June Taylor dancers routine...and it would never be enough. No, I don't keep count, but YOU do. And I love you for it.

"Can you see it, Joker? Feels to me...like it's written all over my face.
"I've lain awake night...planning it...picturing it...
"Endless nights...considering every possible method...treasuring each imaginary moment...
"From the beginning I knew...that there's nothing wrong with you...that I can't fix...with my HANDS..."

"A gun...is a COWARD'S weapon. A LIAR'S weapon. We kill...to often..because we made it easy...too easy...sparing ourselves...the mess...and the work..."

JOKER: I'm really...very disapointed in you, my sweet... The moment was...perfect...and you...didn't have the nerve. Paralysis...really...? ... They'll kill you for this...and they'll never know...that you DIDN'T HAVE THE NERVE. I'll...see you...in HELL...

"With a devil's stregnth, he twists...and twists...what's left of his spine...goes...whatever's in him rustles as it leaves."

"I waste one second...with a good-bye..."
*PTUI*

PROSTITUTE: You can SAY what you want. You can CALL HIM what you want. You don't HAVE to walk down AVENUE D at night. You don't have to hear the sucking sounds they make every time you walk by.
...
The creep's pulling out his weapon when there's this SHRIEK. Straight out of HELL there's the SHRIEK. It turns into a GROWL--flapping of WINGS--BIG wings--something WET happens to the creep--a side of BEEF slams into the camppost-- ... BONES start POPPING inside the creep--he's SCREAMING and BEGGING--what grabbed him is LAUGHING and so am I...
REPORTER: And the man who assaulted you?
PROSTITUTE: Still in the hospital.

SUPERMAN: Twenty million DIE by fire...if I am WEAK.

BATMAN: This loud, clumsy, STUPID thing--this is the weapon of the ENEMY. We do not NEED it. We will not USE it.
Our weapons are QUIET--PRECISE. In time, I will teach them to you. Tonight, you will rely on your FISTS--and your BRAINS.
Tonight, WE are the law.
Tonight, I am the law.
Let's ride.

BATMAN: Boyy, girls...I'm here to appeal to your COMMUNITY SPIRIT. I'm sure you're all EAGER to help.

SUPERMAN: Our people, Bruce. You LAUGH at them. They can do THIS and you LAUGH...
...
I have always loved you... Though I was born a galaxy away...I have always served you...
...
I swear...your ADOPTED SON will HONOR you.

"It's way past time you LEARNED...what it MEANS...to be a MAN..."

"You sold us out, Clark. You gave them--the POWER--that should have been OURS. Just like your PARENTS taught you to.
"MY parents...taught me a DIFFERENT lesson...lying on this street--shaking of shock--DYING for no reason at ALL--they showed me that the world only makes sense when you FORCE it to."

"You're beginning to get the IDEA, Clark. This...is the END...for the BOTH of us...
"We could have CHANGED the WORLD...now...LOOK at us... I've become a political liability...and YOU...you're a JOKE...
"I want you...to REMEMBER, Clark. In all the years to COME...in your most PRIVATE moments...I want you to REMEMBER...my HAND...at your THROAT...I want you to REMEMBER...the one MAN...who BEAT you..."

"...Here, in the endless cave, far past the burt remains of a crimefighter whose time has passed... It begins here--an ARMY--to bring SENSE to a world plagued by WORSE than THIEVES and MURDERERS.
"It will be a good life...good enough."

[Cats]

Batman: Well? What about the penny?
Aquaman: It's not going anywhere, but you know that before you called me. Bruce listen. Next time, just ask me to pick up some beer and videos on my way over, okay? Have you ever seen "The Lost City Of Atlantis"? It's hysterical...

[MaskedManJRK]

Batman: Well? What about the penny?
Aquaman: It's not going anywhere, but you know that before you called me. Bruce listen. Next time, just ask me to pick up some beer and videos on my way over, okay? Have you ever seen "The Lost City Of Atlantis"? It's hysterical...

Where is THAT from? :D

[Bullseye]

Richard Grayson: Wha... what's a ward?

[Batman]

All Star Bats #3. Not too bad, though most of it was basically a barmaid called Black Canary slowly snapping and beating the s**t out of everyone in the bar.

...They released that?!:eek:

Holy ****,when?!

I've been waiting for months...Goddamned delays...:mad:

[MaskedManJRK]

...They released that?!:eek:

Holy ****,when?!

I've been waiting for months...Goddamned delays...:mad:

Yesterday. You should see the Lee cover, it kicks Miller's ass.

[Cats]

Where is THAT from? :D
Cavernous... off a JLA Giant Super Special (03).

[Cats]

[drops into a moving car]
Catwoman: Boys upstairs didn't believe I'd hitch a ride. How about you?
Man: m... Me? Uh... y-you can ride with me anywhere, babe.
Catwoman: Who said anything about you? I need a ride... not a driver.

Catwoman: Use them to take these gung-ho bonzos down -- so you and I can both get back to business. After all.... I'd much rather be swooped by you.
Batman: Hnh...

-- Outlaws

Tiger: You are American -- and out of your element. Hong Kong triads are different from your gangster organizations.
Batman: Crime is criminal -- within any borders. There's nothing different about your triads. American gangsters boast the same "honor" and "trust" -- in lies inspired by movies.
Night-Dragon: Incredible. No man addresses the Tiger with less than guarded respect -- yet this stranger shows naked contempt. He's more than a man because he's less -- because he's a bat... making the true man a mystery.

-- Hong Kong

Batman: Those animals, cowering there under the weight of their own sins, are not your friends. They use you. They would turn you into a dog. They will poison you. Why do you run with them? ANSWER.
Luke: I... I don't know. They... they're my friends... mostly. They... they like... having me around to... I don't have anyone else.
Batman: Wrong. You have a mother. She may not be perfect, but she cares about you. Loves you.

-- Bouncing Baby Boy

Martian Manhunter: Ah. You. The Bat-Man.
Batman: This is my city. And I am not amused.

Martian Manhunter: Intellect AND instinct. I was very impressed. This "urban myth" was formidable, indeed.

-- Brothers

[nite-owl]

From the new frontier

(to martian manhunter)
Batman: I've been watching you, mister jones. I know all about you. Expect where you come from. My instincts tell me you're to be trusted, but make no mistake ..... it took a seventy-thousand dollar silver of meteor to stop the one in metroplis. With you, all I need is a penny for a book of matches.

[Renegade-agent]

Batman:I'm not really a people person. But when you need help, and you will, call me
------------------------------------
Lorder Batman: What are you hiding for?
Batman: I do my best work in the dark.
Lorder Batman: I used to think that, too. But what have you ever accomplished from there? Besides from scaring a few punks half to death and putting a few more in jail.
Batman: It all adds up.
Lorder Batman: Not fast enough. If you really want to make a difference, want to change the system instead of just patching it, you've got to step into the sunlight. Take over, like we did.
______________________________________

Lorder Batman: Think about it - a world where there's no crimes. No victims. No pain.
Batman: And no choice! Who elected you, anyway?
Lorder Batman: Who elected *you*? The problem with democracy is, it doesn't keep you very safe.
Batman: It has other virtues. But you seem to have forgotten that.
Lorder Batman: *I* didn't forget! I just chose peace and security instead.
Batman: You grabbed power!
Lorder Batman: And with that power, we've made a world where no eight-year-old boy will ever lose his parents because of some punk with a gun!
Batman: [pauses, then drops his batarang] You win
______________________________________________

Wonder Woman: [after being turned back into an adult] Circumstances aside, it was kind of... enjoyable to be a kid again.
Batman: I haven't been a kid since I was eight years old.(I love this line sooo much, his tone of voice and wonder womans reaction just really seem to get to me)
__________________________________________________

Green Lantern: Diana's carrying a grudge.
Batman: She'll get over it. How 'bout you? Carrying anything?
Green Lantern: What? Shayera? We're cool. We're giving each other our space. I'm seeing Vixen, now.
[pause]
Green Lantern: I'm very happy.
[pause]
Batman: [Unconvinced] Uh-huh
__________________________________________________

inside the Batcave]
The Flash: Hey, that's a giant dinosaur!
Alfred Pennyworth: And I thought Batman was the detective
________________________________________-

The Flash: [the League is forced to travel in street clothes to avoid detection by the Thangarians] Hold on a second here. What about the whole secret identity thing? I mean, I trust you guys but I'm not sure I'm ready to...
Batman: Wally West, Clark Kent...
[removes his mask]
Batman: Bruce Wayne.
The Flash: Show off
__________________________________________________ ___

Batman: [while falling through the air after having to abandon his plane] I could use a little air support seeing as I can't fly... at all.
[continues to fall]
Batman: Now would be a good time.
_________________________________________________

Superman: You don't know Darkseid like I do.
Batman: We know he used you. Humiliated you. Brainwashed you. Wound you up like a tin soldier and turned you loose against Earth. Cry me a river! On the outside chance that this isn't another one of his schemes, we have to take action. So I suggest you GET OVER IT!
__________________________________________________ _

Batman: Joker. I should have known you'd be in on this.
Joker: Really? I must be falling into a rut.
[to Luthor]
Joker: You're not going to leave him like this, are you?
Lex Luthor: Why?
Joker: HELLO? He's still alive!
________________________________________________-
Green Lantern: Anyway, why are we always talking about my love life? What's going on between you and Diana?
Batman: Nothing. She's a respected colleague.
Green Lantern: Uh-huh.
Batman: I don't have time to pursue a relationship. My work is too important to allow another distractions. Diana is a remarkable woman, she's a valued friend. She's... standing right behind me, isn't she?
Wonder Woman: Don't let that stop you - keep digging.
__________________________________________________ _____

J'onn J'onzz: You were greatly missed, my friend. By all of us.
[everyone looks to a stoic Batman]
Wonder Woman: Don't let him fool you. Your death hit him as hard as it did any of us.
Superman: Really?
Batman: No. I never believed you were dead in the first place.
Superman: I guess that's sort of a compliment
__________________________________________________ _____

[MaskedManJRK]

BUMP!

Batman: Son of the Demon

BATMAN: Time's up.
TERRORIST: Yeah...for you!
*gun fire, Batman dodges, the bullet hitting an oil barell, burning off the terrorist's face.
TERRORIST: Goddamn you...!
BATMAN: Looks like he got you first.

DOCTOR: And what seems to be the trouble with you?
WOUNDED TERRORIST: I'm shot. I'm bleeding.
DOCTOR: Well, let's have a look and see what we--
BATMAN: That man can wait, doctor.
DOCTOR: I beg your--
BATMAN: I said, he can wait--
DOCTOR: He--he has some rights, you know.
BATMAN: That woman has more.
DOCTOR: No need to be so snotty.

BATMAN: Are the two of you all right, ma'am?
MAN: Why...er...yes...thank you for all your...your help, Batman...
BATMAN: And your child?
WOMAN: I...I think he's fine...thank you...
BATMAN: Good. ...A child needs his parents...it's a terrible thing for a child to have to grow up alone...

GUARD: The master's daughter...and his greatest foe? You will both come with me.
BATMAN: *sigh* Every time I come here, it's the same thing. Some bonehead tries to prove his manhood by flashing a weapon...and I prove mine by taking it away from him.
*rips gun away, elbows guard in the face*
BATMAN: Someday, you boys will learn.

BATMAN: There's never been any room in my life for a woman...that's what I told myself, after every liason I've ever known shattered...maybe that's just what I wanted to believe. I've tried to forget you, God knows...but I can't. I never could. I never will.

TALIA: Beloved, you give too much thought to what is "real" and what is not; to what is "true" and what is "false..." I realize that is your way, but just this once, accept things as they are...forgo your control, your discipline...just once, let yourself go...and take me with you.

RA'S: Detective, as you know, I am cursed with a love for emptiness...desolation. It is a beauty to wich my soul responds...as pure, as untainted as the deserts of my birth. I deem it my mission to purify this planet, to restore it to its former beauty...a mission I will brook no interference in...but for now, we are allies...and I hope that state continues. Hmmm...by reomiving my king from check, I find we have achieved a stalemate. I find that quite fitting.
BATMAN: I play to win.

QAYIN: ...And at last, the Lazarus Pit is mine.
RA'S: I think not, Qayin.
QAYIN: Al Ghul. I commend your courage in daring to face me...in my moment of triumph.
RA'S: You always spoke too quickly, Qayin. You may recall the story of Moses...who was permitted to see the promised land...but never to enter it.
*room explodes*

BATMAN: I'm here, Ra's. I don't want to answer any questions...I just want to find Qayin...and hope he puts up a fight.

RA'S: The battle goes well, Detective. My men have secured the perimeter...but there still remains the interior, where Qayin will be at his most dangerous.
BATMAN: Good...it'll make what I have to do...that much easier.
RA'S: I understand. The guards seem most intent on keeping us from this central area.
BATMAN: It's their funeral.

BATMAN: You can't imagine how much I hate you, Qayin. Not only for the pain you've inflicted on others, through your terrorism..but for the pain you gave to someone I love--and to me.

RA'S: Perhaps now he is at peace.
BATMAN: Perhaps...I hope not.

BATMAN: All right, Talia... I wish things had... Our lives don't seem to... Maybe someday... I'm sorry.
RA'S: I, too, am sorry...my son.

[The Sage]

From Batman 1989. Watched it last night for the first time in a while, it's really an awesome movie. :D:up:

Bruce: What's on your mind, Alfred?
Alfred: I have no wish to spend my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.

Knox: You know what they say? They say he can't be killed. They say he drinks blood. They say...
Eckhardt: And I say... you're full of ****, Knox. Oh, uh, you can quote me on that.

Vicki: Why won't you let me in? Why?
Bruce: You got in.
Vicki: I've loved since I met you. But I don't know what to think of all of this. I really don't.
Bruce: Look, sometimes I don't know what to think of this. It's just something I have to do.
Vicki: Why?
Bruce: Because nobody else can. Look, I've tried to avoid all of this, but I can't. This is the way it has to be. It's not a perfect world.
Vicki: It doesn't have to be a perfect world. I just have to know, we're gonna try to love each other.
Bruce: I'd like to. But he's out there now, and I've got to go to work.

[The Sage]

TALIA: Beloved, you give too much thought to what is "real" and what is not; to what is "true" and what is "false..." I realize that is your way, but just this once, accept things as they are...forgo your control, your discipline...just once, let yourself go...and take me with you.

I love this line. It almost captures Talia and Bruce's relationship perfectly.

[nite-owl]

Batman:Poor Edward. I had to save them both. You see, I'm both Bruce Wayne and Batman. Not because I have to be. Now... because I choose to be.

[MaskedManJRK]

ROBIN: Okay, how about this--we go on patrol, and if it's quiet, we'll come back and watch "It's a Wonderful Life." Deal?
BATMAN: Deal. ...You know, I've never seen it--couldn't get past the title.

"Christmas With The Joker"

[Buttman]

Riddler: Isn't that right.. Bruce..?
Batman: "What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?"
Riddler: "Time to get a new fence." Everyone knows that one, it's worthless.
Batman: That's why I have nothing to fear from you. You had to tell Elliot, but no one else, not even Clayface when he was playing Robin. I know you Edward. Riddles are your compulsion, you're addiction, and a riddle that everyone knows the answer too.. is worthless.
Riddler: ..!.. *Defeated*


Nightwing: Okay, now maybe this is none of my damn business. And I know you think I'd be against going out with a former.. known.. thief, or whatever she is.. was.. Anyway, I'm not. Against it. If she makes you happy -- great. Except -- every relationship you've ever had with a woman -- either as Bruce or Batman -- has gotten screwed up because you didn't tell her about your being... either Batman or Bruce Wayne. My point is -- tell her. Hell, you've known each other so long she probably already knows.
Batman: You're right.
Nightwing: ..Really..?
Batman: It is none of your damn bussiness.


- Batman Hush

My two favourite moments in Hush (Which I loved.) GREAT idea for a thread.

[Flash-er]

Bruce Wayne: Who are you?
Payback: I'm your worst nightmare!
Bruce Wayne: You have no idea what my nightmares are like.


Bruce Wayne: When I was young, women used to throw themselves at my feet all the time.
Terry McGinnis: What did you do?
Bruce Wayne: Step over them.
Terry McGinnis: Smooth.
Bruce Wayne: I thought so.

[DarkKnight15]

Gotham City is hell...We are all in hell...And I am the King of Hell

-Batman Gothic

[dolfan55aj]

Well that was fun. Who's for Chinese? -Joker-

Best Joker Quote Ever....Mark Hammill, I bow to you...

[RobC]

Awsome thread guys, keep up the good work!

[Darkness Falls]

Batman 1989
Joker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000197/): Jack? Jack is dead, my friend You can call me... Joker. And as you can see, I'm a lot happier.

Vicki Vale (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000107/): I've just got to know. Are we gonna try and love each other? Bruce Wayne (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000474/): I'd like to. But he's out there right now. And I've got to go to work.

batman tas
The Joker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/): [on his answering machine] Boy, did YOU get the wrong number! We're not home right now, so please leave your message at the sound of the shriek. Oh, no! No, please!...
[gasp]
The Joker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
[beep]

batman beyond: Return of the joker
The Joker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/): Ah, the new boy. Ears are too long and I miss the cape. But not too shabby. Not too shabby at all.

The Joker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/): But all too soon, the shocks and the serums took their toll, and the boy began to share such secrets with me. Secrets that are mine alone to know... Bruce. It's true, Batsy! I know everything. And kinda like the kid who peeks at his Christmas presents, I must admit, it's sadly anti-climactic. Behind all the sturm and bat-o-rangs, you're just a little boy in a playsuit, crying for mommy and daddy! It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic.
[pause]
The Joker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/): Oh, what the heck, I'll laugh anyway. HA HA HA HA HA HAA!

The Joker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/): [to Batman] If you don't like the movie, I've got slides.

[gqxsensazn]

OMG, the dialogue between Batman and Blue Beetle is hilarious. I have to look for that comic.

[darknight7]

I just needed to post something so that I could subscribe to this thread, because it is asbolutely AWESOME

--dk7

[darknight7]

Where is this line from?

Is this a Joker (Mark Hammil) line?

"I know Batman personally... and you, sir, are NOT Batman."


--dk7

[BLU8]

Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)

One of the BEST Batman movies ever made, animated or live-action.

*Bruce has fallen in love & wants to give up being Batman for a normal life. He stands in the pouring rain at his parents' grave.*
Bruce Wayne: It's not that I don't care anymore. I don't want to let you down, honest! But... it just doesn't hurt so bad anymore! You can understand that, can't you? Look, I can give money to the city, they can hire more cops. Let someone else take the risk. But it's different now! Please! I need it to be different now! I know I made a promise, but I didn't see this coming. I didn't count on being happy.
*in tears*
Please. Tell me that it's okay.

Alfred: Vengeance blackens the soul, Bruce. I always feared you would become that which you fought against. You walk the edge of that abyss every night. But you haven't fallen in yet, and I thank Heaven for that. But Andrea fell into that pit years ago. And no one, not even you, could have pulled her back.

Arthur Reeves: (during a TV interview) What kind of city are we running when we depend on the support of a potential madman?!
Alfred: Such rot, sir. Why, you're the very model of sanity. Oh, by the way, I pressed your tights and put away your exploding gas balls.
Batman: Thank you, Alfred.

Batman: You think you know everything about me, don't you?
Alfred: I diapered your bottom. I bloody well ought to... sir!

The Joker: So, what's an old-timer like you want with a two-timer like me?

The Joker: Can't be too careful with all those weirdos around!

Salvatore Valestra: This isn't a joke! Batman's knocking us off, and you're the only one who can take him down! Look, five million up front, with whatever you want to finish him off!
The Joker: *yawns* What do I look like, pest control?

Arthur Reeves: You're telling me there were four precincts on Batman's heels and he still got away?! Unbelievable!
The Joker: Tsk, tsk. And to think our tax money goes to pay those jerks.

The Joker: You're crazy! I'm your only chance to get out of here! Let me go or we'll both die!
Batman: Whatever it takes!

The Joker: (after a jet-pack crash landing) For once, I'm stuck without a punchline.

The Joker: I'm impressed, lady. You're harder to kill than a cockroach on steroids.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, go out & buy it right now! It's honestly that good!

[darknight7]

Flass won't talk...

"He'll talk to me"

--dk7

[Darkness Falls]

Two-Face : Outta my face clown

The Joker: Which one ?

*Two face looks shocked* OWNED

[VRICH]

"Our greatest battles take place within ourselves."

[darknight7]

As much as the shumacher movies are hated on...and terrible in so many ways...I love when Batman says:

"I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight."

Don't know why but always thought that was cool

--dk7

[spittingvenom]

Batman:Poor Edward. I had to save them both. You see, I'm both Bruce Wayne and Batman. Not because I have to be. Now... because I choose to be.
nice one!

[darknight7]

^That is a good one

--dk7

[spittingvenom]

The Joker: Can't be too careful with all those weirdos around!


so good! hahaha

[Bat-Gasm]

This is from Batman: TAS episode Joker's Favor (I'm sure most of you have seen but for those who haven't.)

When Joker calls up Charlie after a while to collect his favor. Charlie goes and meets the Joker expecting to have to do something really terrible. The Joker brings out a giant cake (which later is of course a bomb) and tells Charlie that all he has to do is open the door for Harley. Charlie is skeptical and asked, "That's it? Open the door?" and the Joker replies.

"LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT CAKE, MAN!"

I never laughed to damn hard in my life. Hamill's best.

[Reflectionist]

Does anyone know what Joker meant by the 'n'est-ce pas' bit?

It means:

"Bruce... Wayne, isn't it?"
"Most of the time."

[CFE]

BATMAN: "I made a promise, long ago...And regardless of the chaos, the destruction I’ve seen...that promise has become my life. I’m in debt to those that fight beside me...to those that have died for me. But this vow is, and will forever be, mine to honor...mine to sacrifice for. And while that truth my break my heart...it will never break my spirit."

[darknight7]

^^I like that one

--dk7

[bulletbillx]

Joker (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/): Whoops! Ha! I guess the joke's on me. You're not Batman after all. Looks like there's a new face in Gotham and soon his name will be all over town... to say nothing of his legs, and feet, and spleen, and head...

Alfred (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0956544/): Vengeance blackens the soul, Bruce. I've always feared that you would become that which you fought against. You walk the edge of that abyss every night, but you haven't fallen in and I thank heaven for that.

[At Bruce's parents' grave]
Bruce Wayne (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0175834/): It doesn't mean I don't care anymore. I don't want to let you down, honest, but... but it just doesn't hurt so bad anymore. You can understand that, can't you? Look, I can give money to the city - they can hire more cops. Let someone else take the risk, but it's different now!
[thunder and lightning]
Bruce Wayne (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0175834/): Please! I need it to be different now. I know I made a promise, but I didn't see this coming. I didn't count on being happy.
[thunder and lightning]
Bruce Wayne (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0175834/): Please! Tell me that it's okay.
Andrea Beaumont (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001127/): [enters] Maybe they already have. Maybe they sent me.
[They embrace in the rain]


[Alfred sees Batman in costume for the first time]
Alfred Pennyworth (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0956544/): My... God!

[Darkness Falls]

This is from Batman: TAS episode Joker's Favor (I'm sure most of you have seen but for those who haven't.)

When Joker calls up Charlie after a while to collect his favor. Charlie goes and meets the Joker expecting to have to do something really terrible. The Joker brings out a giant cake (which later is of course a bomb) and tells Charlie that all he has to do is open the door for Harley. Charlie is skeptical and asked, "That's it? Open the door?" and the Joker replies.

"LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT CAKE, MAN!"

I never laughed to damn hard in my life. Hamill's best.

lol that always makes me laugh :word:

and ur username is awesome

[darknight7]

B:MOTP is by far the greatest Batman...anything!

--dk7

[Two-Face]

Two-Face: "One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat. Holy men are martyred, and junkies grow legion. Why? Why, why, why, why, why? Luck! Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck! "

Two-Face: "You're counting on the winged avenger to deliver you from evil, aren't you my friend?"
Bank Guard: "Are you going to kill me?"
Two-Face: "Maybe, maybe not. You could say we're of two minds on the subject"

Harvey Dent: "Remember that name you all had for me when I was at Internal Affairs? What was it, Gordon?"
Lt. James Gordon: "Harvey, I..."
Harvey Dent: "Say it. Say it!"
Lt. James Gordon: "Two-Face. Harvey Two-Face."
[Harvey turns his head, revealing the scarred side of his face]
Harvey Dent: "Why should I hide who I am?"


Two-Face: "Poison Ivy".
Poison Ivy: "It's been a long time, Harvey. You're still looking halfway decent."
Two-Face: "Half of me wants to strangle ya."
Poison Ivy: "And what does the other half want?"
Two-Face: "To hit ya with a truck."
Poison Ivy: "We used to date."
The Joker, The Penguin, Killer Croc: "Ah."

[darknight7]

Two-Face: "Poison Ivy".
Poison Ivy: "It's been a long time, Harvey. You're still looking halfway decent."
Two-Face: "Half of me wants to strangle ya."
Poison Ivy: "And what does the other half want?"
Two-Face: "To hit ya with a truck."
Poison Ivy: "We used to date."
The Joker, The Penguin, Killer Croc: "Ah."

Great line...great episode...

TAS is the best!!!

--dk7

[Two-Face]

Yeah! one of my favourite episodes Almost Got 'im'

Batman TAS: The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne:
Two-Face" "Get outta my face clown!"
Joker: "Which one?"

[darknight7]

haha Joker and TwoFace interaction in TAS is probably some of the best moments of the series

--dk7

[CFE]

^^I like that one

--dk7

Thanks. I wrote it myself.

[darknight7]

No way! That's crazy. I thoguht it was from a comic I've never read or something.

sweet!

--dk7

[ronny]

Two-Face
You see, Harvey Dent was one of the good guys. Being good in this town means you need guts. You gotta' be tough. You gotta' do things that aren't in the lawbooks. The bat didn't have the stomach for it. He punked out on Harvey.
The great outlaw protector of Gotham hid behind Lady Justice's skirts. But she's blind for a reason, brat. 'Cause she doesn't see what needs to be done in her name.
I wanted you to understand that. Before it's all over, I wanted you to know.
It wasn't me that killed you. It was the bat.

[Kal-El 8]

BATMAN: I am the night! I am vengeance! I am Batman! ~ Batman : the animated Series -Nothing To Fear

[spider-neil]

the batman -

batman takes off his mask

batgirl: batman is bruce wayne, I knew it, that makes you robin (to dick grayson)

robin (takes of mask): ok, spill, who are you

batgirl: I not ready to give up my secret identity just yet

batman: she's barbera gordon (he'd obviously worked it out)

batgirl: showoff

I'm parapharsing but you get the idea

[Bat-Gasm]

lol that always makes me laugh :word:

and ur username is awesome

Thank you sir.

Bruce Wayne: You blinked. I switched the cups. Force of habit.

(Someone was trying to poison him only to realize they were the ones getting poisoned.)

[MightyBatman]

" I am the goddamn Batman."

I don't remember what was exactly going on at that moment but I could never forget that quote.

[tekken]

in that episode, "Almost Got'em"..

joker: i would say ladies first, but since there aren't any, why don't you go first poison ivy?

something like that. i don't remember all the words, but i remember it being really funny. that whole episode was pretty funny.

[Darkness Falls]

Batman TAS: The Strange Secret of Bruce Wayne:
Two-Face" "Get outta my face clown!"
Joker: "Which one?"

:hehe: thats one of my favourite quotes ever
loved twoface's facial reaction


i also like when joker gets of the plane and he says something like

Joker: careful you might just lose your tip..... and your head :woot:

[MaskedManJRK]

Wow. Suprised someone brought this back. Here's some:

Batman: The Man Who Laughs

GORDON (narration): I get to the scene a little after four a.m., just as they're bringing out the first body. Vincent and Maroni both have nearly twenty years in on the force and they look like they just had their guts ripped out. A paramedic nearly drops the stretcher because he can't stop himself from throwing up. What the hell is happening to my city?

JOKER: Good evening, Gotham and Gothamites everywhere...thought I'd take time out of my oh so busy schedule to say hi and make a few not so veild threats...so, hello, goodbye, you're all going to die! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, sometimes I just kill me, especially when I think about killing you.
...
In fact, if I were a psychic, I'd sya that the bell would certainly be tolling for the tonight at midnight. Oh what the hell, I'll say it anyway--you die at midnight, Henry. And then we can all have a good laugh at your expense.

GORDON (narrating): The strange thing is, I'm glad he's been here. My wife and niece were watching that broadcast with me tonight. I saw their faces. This psychotic has to be stopped, and fast.

"One by one
they'll hear my call,
then this wicked town
will follow my fall."

BATMAN (narrating): They aren't responsible for their actions, I know. I don't care. I count two dead and eight injured. This stops now.

BATMAN (narrating): Hard to believe anyone would kill so many people just to hide a motive, but we're obviously not dealing with a rational mind. So how do I figure out the plans of an insane man? I never prepared for this. I planned for the killers, the muggers, the rapists. Desperate people doing desperate things. But I never imagined something like the Joker.

BATMAN (narrating): I was right about Joker's motives, I just didn't understand the full nature of his desires. His poem explained it perfectly, though... He'd get personal revenge on the people who made him what he is. And then the whole city would "follow his fall." His fall was into a vat of toxic poison that spilled out into what should have been a clean bay.
So he poisons Gotham's water supply, and everyone dies laughing.
In his sick mind, we're all to blame just for being alive. I understand that now. That paranoid anger and hate. He may be a genius, but that hate is all he knows.

JOKER: What did you just do?
BATMAN: Destroyed the viaduct. I rigged it with C-4 on my way here.
JOKER: But--you just cut off all water to the city...you've crippled them for weeks.
BATMAN: Better crippled then dead.

BATMAN (narrating): This will have to do.
*krak smak knch krak*
JOKER: okay...uncle...you win...i'll kill them...some other time...
BATMAN: No, you won't.

GORDON (narrating): And for the first time in weeks, people in my city are looking up... In this new world, with men like the JOker and whatever else may be headed our way, that's a small victory, I know. But hell, I'll take what I can get.

Batman & Son

JOKER: I did it! I finally killed Batman! In front of a bunch of vulnerable, disabled kids! Now get me SANTA CLAUS! EEEHAHAHAHAHA!

NURSE: See, I just don't find live beheadings all that funny, commissioner.
GORDON: Are you kidding? HAHAHA...lok at the size of this guy? How did they manage to find his neck?!
...
GORDON: Is that really you? Has anyone ever told you how ridiculous you look in that getup?
BATMAN: They don't usually get the chance.
...
BATMAN: Hh. How did they find his neck?
GORDON: That's what I just said! ...Does that mean I'm getting better or worse?

ALFRED: I'm sure it's just a coincidence, sir. Kirk Langstrom is well-known as a philanthropist. I'm confident in the fact that he's also the inventor of a serum which transformed him into a crazed Man-Bat has very little to do with his presence at a charity gala like this one. I feel quite confident about that.
BRUCE: There goes my vacation.

BRUCE: Look, how about I make this easy and take ALL of your numbers. Then everybody gets to be happy. Espicially me.

BATMAN (narrating): It's not Langstrom. Not Man-Bat. Man-Bats. Ninja Man-Bats. Alarming twist.

BATMAN (narrating): Six hundred pounds of meat, gristle and hide. What does that remind me of?
(flashback to a Thanksgiving dinner)
AUNT AGATHA: It's a wee bit overdone, boys.
BRUCE/DICK: Happy Thanksgiving, Aunt Agatha!

BATMAN: Had to be. Who but the daughter of the ultimate international criminal would have her own secret liar in London's sewers? Let me guess. Daddy got you this place for your sixteenth birthday?
TALIA: Eighteenth, actually. No, wait...you're right.

ALFRED: Allow me to show you to your temporary quarters, young sir.
DAMIAN: **** you.
ALFRED: Ahh...memory lane.

DAMIAN: I fought crime tonight. Crime lost.

TALIA: Who else in this world is like us, Bruce Wayne? The century's greatest crimefighter, the daughter of its greatest crimelord, and their genetically perfect child. Join me and I promise I'll never threaten civilization again. We'll found a dynasty that will rule the planet for a thousand years. Ours is a love story, remember?
BATMAN: That was a long time ago, Talia.
TALIA: Then it's war. And you're responsible. My dear Detective, my mad, billionare, brilliant genius with your secret hidouts, your double life and your Justice League membership...it's not over.

JEZEBEL: He says you're cool, like James Bond.
BRUCE: Oh, I'm much cooler than he is.

JEZEBEL: I read about your parents. I'm so sorry, Bruce. You were so young. It must have been terrible. My own father was assassinated because of what he believed in. I want you to know I understand.
BRUCE: Jezebel, it was...it was a long time ago. I...I got over it.

ROXY: Hey, Batman! You want I'll do you a freebie!
BATMAN: I'm busy right now keeping the city safe from dirtbags, Roxy.

BATMAN: Thought you promised me you'd get a straight job, Ellie.
ELLIE: I...I can't hardly read or write...
BATMAN: I don't need to hear excuses. You can talk. YOu can smile and answer a phone right? *hands her WayneTech card* I hear these people are hirign reception girls. Don't let me see you on the streets after tonight.

BATMAN (narrating): Regular patrol. My nightly workout. Chasing a few old leads. Missing street girls. Cases nobody seems to care about. But this... Bent cops. Monsters. Sick sweet smell of human flesh past its sell-by date. The crawling sixth sense that tells me I'm on to something rotten. I'm opening a can so full of worms you could bury your dead in there and they'd be bones by morning.

ALFRED: Why exactly are you toweling yourself with Bruce Wayne's unlaundered shirts, sir?
BRUCE: The man I faced tonight has been transformed into a testosterone-driven hulk. But I come from generations of old money. I've beaten up Superman. I wore this shirt when I was chewing out the shareholders in the WayneTech boardroom yesterday. What's the one thing an alpha male is programmed to respect? Alpha Male Plus.

BATMAN: You're covering for a rapist. A murderer. And something more. But you know that, don't you? Cop or no cop--you're on my list.

GORDON: Why did you have to choose an enemy that's as old as time and bigger than all of us, Batman?
BATMAN: Same reason you did, Jim. I figured I could take him.

DAMIAN (as Batman): *to the UN* Go and make the world a better place or I'll hunt you down one by one.

[Rodrigo90]

BTAS. Joker on the answering machine.

"BOY! Did you pick a wrong number. Leave your message after the scream".

Followed by a mans voice.

"NO!...Please,God,NO!. AHHHHHHHH!!!"

[JokerBlogs]

Joker: (holding a deck of cards) How about a magic trick? (fans em out, has the cameraman pick one) ......

You know, if you shuffle a deck of cards 7 times, the deck becomes completely random. Like life. Some people say cards can tell the future. Doesnt work like that, no thats just to predictable......
there are no bad hands, just bad people. Its not about the cards you are, but the cards you are not. So are you gonna fade away with the rest of them? Theres only one card that doesnt add or take away from the deck, it just is.
And it always comes when you least expect it. (produces the joker card out of thin air) Was this your card?

Cameraman: No, mines the.......ace of spades.

Joker: TADA! (shoots cameraman.)

[darknight7]

Can I ask where that quote is from?

--dk7

[Two-Face]

It's from the YouTube - Joker Blogs.

[Rodrigo90]

BTAS. Joker on the answering machine."BOY! Did you pick a wrong number. Leave your message after the scream". Followed by a mans voice."NO!...Please,God,NO!. AHHHHHHHH!!!"

[darknight7]

edit

[Bat-Gasm]

"Look it's the one dollar bill" -Joker '89

(Joker Blogs is really good by the way.)

[RootBeerMaster]

Batman: "I am vengeance! I am the night! I am BATMAN" I love how Batman told the Fear of his father dispointing him this in Batman TAS. and Scarcrow freaking out.

Batman: "Was the Singing Really necessary?" I had to add this from Brave and Bold

Batman :"do I look Stressed out to you?

Robin: "you, get out of town"

Batman :excatly I need a vaction. Batman tas

Batman: I could have escaped from that trap at any time. But I thought I'd hang around to keep an eye on you clowns. JLA

Batman: Next time I let Superman take charge, just hit me. Real hard JLA


Hawkgirl: You always carry a piece of kryptonite with you?

Batman: Call it insurance. JLA

Kasnian Thug "You can't understand a word I'm saying and I wouldn't tell you anything if you could."

Batman in Kasnian : I can and you will. JLA

Clayface : You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, didja?
Batman: "Wish I'd thought of that, Oh wait I did." JLA

[mothy]

"have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

now, that's some real cold-blooded ***** to say to a mother****er before you pop a cap in their ass.

definitely my favourite.

[Darkness Falls]

The Joker: Can't be to careful with all those *Weirdos* around

[returntovoid]

Most memorable quotes from Batman Begins, IMO.

Thug: [screams] Where are you?
Batman: [appears upside-down behind him, whispering] Here.

Carmine Falcone: [frantically loading his shotgun] What the hell are you?
[Batman breaks open the limo's sunroof and pulls Falcone out]
Batman: I'm Batman!
[Batman knocks Falcone out with a headbutt, then notices a bum watching him. The bum is wearing the coat Bruce gave him years ago]
Batman: Nice coat.
[Batman flies off with Falcone]
Homeless Man: Thanks.

Batman: It's not who I am underneath, but what I *do* that defines me.

Batman: [has laid a snare-trap which yanks Flass by his leg 70 feet into the air] Where were the other drugs going?
Flass: I never knew! I swear to God!
Batman: Swear to *me*!
Flass: [referring to the Narrows] Cops only go there when they're in force!
Batman: Do I look like a cop?

Jim Gordon: I never said, "Thank you."
Batman: [looks back to Gordon] And you'll never have to.