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Murray

06-25-2005, 09:51 PM

PILOT

FADE TO BLACK

THE FOLLOWING EVENTS TAKE PLACE BETWEEN 12 AM AND 1 AM.

12:00:00

FADE IN

INT. COCKPIT OF AIRPLANE—NIGHT

Inside the airplane captain VICTOR VON DOOM is flying. He looks cool.

Next to him sits his assistant SPORK, who is super hot.

SPORK

I’m super-hot.

VICTOR VON DOOM

Yes, yes, I know. You also suck at flying planes, why are you even here?

SPORK

Uh…’cause I’m super hot.

Victor suddenly notices something distressing out the windows of the plane.

VICTOR VON DOOM

Spork, did you check the weather channel before we came out here?

SPORK

Yeah, yeah, it said there was a storm.

Von Doom is overtaken with a look of extreme frustration and hatred.

VICTOR VON DOOM

My lord you are a dumbass. It doesn’t look like we can avert it now. We’re going to have to go through it and hope nothing happens.

As he says this lightning strikes the plane from out of nowhere.

SPORK

OH **** WE’RE GONNA CRASH!!!!

Victor grabs the planes controls, with a look on his face like he is about to take an enormous dump. The ship starts to wobble up and down. Doom takes a breath and grabs a better control of the ship. They float magically through the air. Behind them a trail of fire follows where the plane got hit. The plane heads down through the sky, falling majestically down to the awaiting ruthless ground floor.

VICTOR VON DOOM

We can still make a safe landing. Just, you have to relax, okay?

SPORK

Safe landing? How do we do that?

VICTOR VON DOOM

My lord, how did you ever even become a pilot?

SPORK

I had to work my way up to the top.

VICTOR VON DOOM

If you had to work your way up to the top, why didn’t you become a waitress or something?

SPORK

There’s no money in that!

Von Doom sighs. When he turns around he realizes that talking to Spork was a worse idea than he thought. Because while he was discussing, the ground had become alarmingly closer to the windshield of the plane. Doom grabs the steering wheel and jerks the plane out of harms way.

VICTOR VON DOOM

I still cannot believe you did this. Just where exactly are we going to land?

SPORK

We can land on that roof over there.

We see the building Spork is talking about. It is magnificent. Covered in blue walls, the structure stands out as if it was the Valley of God. It is a castle that promises to save their lives and make them better. Victor has a weird feeling as he watches it, that maybe perhaps the building was as much a curse as it was a miracle. But that is ridiculous. It is their ticket to survival. Why then, does it feel so horrible as they dray nearer and nearer to it?

SPORK

Hurry up, we’re gonna crash!!!

Victor gears the controls up and readies for a steady landing. The roof is coming closer and closer. They both almost felt it. They were going to land on it. The tires wheeled across the roof and they had done it. They LAND.

Then the plane gives up, and they crash right through the roof nose first with a gigantic bang. The plane comes down through the roof into a hallway, smashing its way down until it finally hits the floor.

Inside the cockpit of the plane Victor and Spork are now covered with blood, Spork more-so than Victor.

SPORK

This is so not sexy.

VICTOR

We’ve got to get out of this plane. We’re not getting enough air!

Victor pounds his fist desperately through the glass. His fist cracks audibly as it shatters the glass windows that are holding them caged. Blood and glass is everywhere. Victor winces his pain, puts his whole body through the glass. He topples about in pain, spinning out of the cockpit and down to the floor that awaits him below. When he meets about with it there is a loud thud and Victor moans. He stays there on the ground for quite some time.

Spork sees him from the cockpit. He hops down out of the plane and is able to jump down on to the ground thanks to Victor’s meddling.

SPORK

You know, we could have always used the emergency only door.

Victor turns around in anguish and sighs.

VICTOR

Now you tell me.

We now hear a noise that sounds supernatural in origin. Victor stands up and looks around.

VICTOR

What the hell was that?

SPORK

What was what?

VICTOR

That noise. You mean you didn’t hear it?

The noise is heard again, only this time its louder.

VICTOR

Now I’m sure we both heard it this time.

SPORK

You must be crazy. I don’t hear anything.

Victor looks at Spork with his crazy eyes. He begins to freak out.

VICTOR

I’m not crazy. I heard something.

The noise again, it sounds louder—and closer.

SPORK

What was that?

VICTOR

Have you even been listening to me for the past 10 seconds?

SPORK

No, why?

The noise is now at its loudest. Whatever it is, it was getting closer with every minute to where they were.

Victor whirls around decisively.

VICTOR

Stay with the plane. I’m gonna go see where the noise is coming from.

SPORK

Oh, I see how it is. Make me stay with the plane while you go do whatever. What am I, your ***** now?

Victor thinks about this.

VICTOR

Yes. Now stay here, I’m going to go look around.

We follow Victor Von Doom as he walks around the hallways of the strange building they have entered. As Von Doom walks about he goes past portraits of different people hanging around every hallway. Their smile in almost every picture seems unnatural. Almost a little bit creepy.

Von Doom continues to walk.

VICTOR

Hello? Is there anyone here?

There is no answer. Suddenly there is a new noise, this one more viscous, more menacing than the one they had heard before.

Victor now begins to freak out, and starts to run. In a mad dash he runs past more hallways, more doors, and more portraits. He finally stops to catch his breath. As he does, he sees a doctor not too far away from him.

VICTOR

Hey, you! Our plane just crashed, we—

But then the doctor disappears as suddenly as he appeared. Victor chases after him, but it is of no use. It was as if he had vanished into thin air.

VICTOR

Seriously, this is the **** I cannot believe.

And then a hand reaches across Victor’s face and renders him unconscious.

FADE TO BLACK

12:15:55

Murray

06-25-2005, 09:52 PM

FADE IN

INT. ROOM WITH PLANE IN IT—NIGHT
Spork is in the room with a plane in it. He is muttering the lyrics to “I’m too sexy” under his breath.

SPORK
I’m too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat, way too sexy!

There is a chirping sound. Spork looks down and sees a little ferret chewing on the soles of his shoes.

SPORK
What the--? Where’d you come from?

The ferret continues to chew on Spork’s shoes. Spork, irritated, picks the ferret up and examines it.

SPORK
What the crap are you? Some kind of mutated squirrel?

The ferret gawks and looks at something behind Spork. Spork turns around.

SPORK
What is it little buddy?

But Spork sees what the ferret is looking at before he finishes the sentence. Standing in front of him is a female feral mutant with silver eyes, staring at him.

FADE TO BLACK
12:19:25
FADE IN
INT. STRANGE ROOM—NIGHT
Victor Von Doom opens his eyes to see two strange men standing over him. One is a man wearing red sunglasses, who is a little bit older than the teenage kid standing next to him, who looks like he has anger issues.

MAN WITH SUNGLASSES
Good morning. Well, not really. But anyway, welcome to the Hype. You must be having some questions you want answered.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Hype—what’s…?

MAN WITH SUNGLASSES
It is where you are. We don’t know much about it, really, I’m sorry to say. My name is Matt Murdock. This is my apprentice, Danger Mouse.

The Man with the sunglasses points to the teenage kid as he says this.

MATT MURDOCK
(CONTINUED)
I’m sure you have several questions for me but first I have one for you. Do you know how you got here?

VICTOR
My plane crashed.

MATT MURDOCK
You mean…you remember?

VICTOR
Why wouldn’t I? It happened like, 10 minutes ago.

MATT MURDOCK
Where’s the plane now? Listen to us, you must not lose track of that plane. The results could be disastrous.

VICTOR
Don’t worry about it. I got a guy watching over it. Everything’s fine.

CUT TO: WHITE ROOM—NIGHT
Spork is in a white room where the plane obviously is not. Standing across from him is the feral mutant from before. Running around the floor is the ferret from earlier.

SPORK
So uh…where exactly am I, and who are you again?

The feral mutant makes no response. Then she replies sharply.

FERAL MUTANT
Did he send you?

Spork is now thoroughly confused.

SPORK
Did who send me?

The Feral mutant approaches Spork, looking slightly frustrated and pissed off.

FERAL MUTANT
Don’t act stupid. I want an answer and now. Did he send you?

SPORK
What? I—

But it is too late. Before Spork can finish his sentence the Feral Mutant has already grabbed him by the throat in a very tight grip. Spork struggles for breath. The Feral Mutant stares down at him. At any moment she could twist her grip and Spork would be dead. Spork feels his heart beat begin to increase. Sweat pulsates down his stud muffin face.

FERAL MUTANT
I want an answer, and I want an answer now, do you hear me you dirty son of a *****? I’m not even ****ing joking with you anymore. Answer the question. Did he send you?

Spork struggles to talk as he feels the wind being sucked out of him.

SPORK
Our plane crashed. We just got here. I…

The Feral Mutant increases her grip on Spork’s throat. Spork winces in pain.

FERAL MUTANT
DID HE SEND YOU??!!!

Spork grabs her arms trying to release her grip on his neck. It doesn’t work because she is about 1,000 times stronger than he is. He tries to speak again, and is barely able to get his voice out.

SPORK
No.

The Feral Mutant releases her grip. Spork falls down in pain, trying to regain his breath. The Feral Mutant stands over him, her silver eyes glinting in the light. Spork tries to pick himself back up, but he fails, and continues to wheeze on the ground.

FERAL MUTANT
You say your plane crashed here. How do you remember that?

Spork looks at her as if she is crazy.

SPORK
It just happened. Didn’t you see the big ass plane coming through the ceiling when you found me?

FERAL MUTANT
That was yours?

SPORK
No, it was Bimbo the flying ****ing elephant’s!

Spork again tries to pick himself up, but again fails.

FERAL MUTANT
So you mean, you don’t know?

SPORK
Know what? I’ve had nothing but a headache since we got here. What’s with the ferret anyway?

Spork points to the ferret running hurriedly across the floor and having close encounters with the wall. The mutant ignores this question.

FERAL MUTANT
You mean there’s more than one of you?

SPORK
Yes, me and my prick captain Victor.

FERAL MUTANT
Is he with the plane?
SPORK
No, I was supposed to stay with the plane.

FERAL MUTANT
Then we’ve got to get you back there immediately.

SPORK
What’s so important about the plane anyway?

FERAL MUTANT
That plane is our only way out of this place.

FADE TO BLACK
12: 35:35

Murray

06-25-2005, 09:54 PM

FADE IN

INT. STRANGE ROOM—NIGHT

Victor is now up and walking around. In the room with him still are the sensible mentor Matt Murdock and his apprentice Danger Mouse.

VICTOR

I’m still not entirely aware of what’s going on.

MATT MURDOCK

You say you know how you got here. I find this odd since none of us can remember how we got here and why. Most of us can remember only bits and pieces of what happened before we were here. Danger Mouse can remember things about his early childhood and I can remember things…

At this point it seems like Matt Murdock is going to tell him something, but decides against it.

MATT MURDOCK

(CONTINUED)

I can remember things…about my mother. Yes, that’s it: my mother.

At this Victor raises his eyebrows and Matt takes a nervous gulp of air.

MATT MURDOCK

(CONTINUED)

Another thing that I find extremely odd is that you as of yet seem to possess no superpowers.

VICTOR

Super…powers?

MATT MURDOCK

Yes. You see, while I am blind, all of my other senses are highly acute. And my friend Danger Mouse here possesses telekinesis. He can also shoot lightning out of his fingers, but I don’t know what that’s about.

At this Danger Mouse shrugs.

VICTOR

So, wait a minute. You’re telling me I crash landed into a Saturday morning cartoon?

DANGER MOUSE
Sort of, except for the strangely alarming chick with the ridiculously hugely drawn boobs.

VICTOR

What a shame.

MATT MURDOCK

Victor, there’s something else you should know.

VICTOR

What?

MATT MURDOCK

Did you hear anything strange when you first landed here?

VICTOR

Yeah, actually—there was this weird noise that I didn’t know where it was coming from. I searched for its origins but—

Victor considers telling them about the doctor but decides not to.

VICTOR VON DOOM
(CONTINUED)

I couldn’t find anything.

Matt Murdock and Danger Mouse stop and stare at Victor.

VICTOR

(CONTINUED)

What?

MATT MURDOCK

The noise you heard was the Exalted. He takes everything that we have, and destroys it. You should have told us this earlier, Victor. It might be too late for your friend now. I’m sorry.

VICTOR

What do you mean I should have told you this earlier. YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS EARLIER!

Victor grabs Matt by the collar and throws him against the wall. His frustration seems immense. Then he backs away, as if he is disgusted at himself.

VICTOR

I’m sorry…I..

MATT

Listen, Victor. There is nothing that we can do. Your anger is natural. The Exalted in an undefeatable enemy, and we must wait to fight him.

DANGER MOUSE

No. No master, I refuse.

MATT MURDOCK

This isn’t your decision, my young pupil!

DANGER MOUSE
If the Exalted has found Spork then he has found the plane.

MATT MURDOCK

Then it is already too late. You know that.

DANGER MOUSE
No master. It’s never too late. We go now.

VICTOR

I agree with Mr. Hormones over here. I don’t care if this Exalted guy is more powerful than God. Spork’s an idiot, yes, I might dislike him, yes. But he is the only person here that I know I can trust somewhat. He is my only companion here. So go ahead and use your super breath buddy, because frankly I don’t care. I’m going after him. You can go with me, or you can go without me. I’m leaving.

Victor takes off. Danger Mouse follows him. Matt Murdock considers, and then follows them too.

FADE TO BLACK

12:40:12

FADE IN

INT. LONG MENANCING HALLWAY—NIGHT

Spork and the Feral Mutant are walking down a hallway that looks particularly menacing for some reason.

SPORK

So, uh, I never got your name.

FERAL MUTANT

It’s Web Mistress. By the way, how’s your neck?

Spork is blown away by this last comment.

SPORK

Oh yeah, well, well—how’s YOUR neck? I’m not the one carrying a jewel around everywhere.

Web Mistress turns around and her eyes glow silver. Anger flows through her veins. Then she picks up the jewel on her neck and starts playing with it. Then her look turns from one of anger to one of solemn. She smiles sadly.

WEBMISTRESS

This is my mother’s jewel. Or at least, I think it was. I can only remember bits and pieces of things that happened before. I think it was important to her some how. I just wish I could remember what her face looked like.

Spork has become oddly turned on by this like the sick freak that he is.

SPORK

Wanna see MY family jewels?

With this sexist comment Spork finds his jewels in possession of Webmistress’s foot. He winces over in pain.

WEBMISTRESS

No thanks. I’m not interested in jewels. I want to find the plane. Either come with me or don’t, just stop making such foolish chatter.

SPORK

Sorry.

A loud noise exactly like the one heard before booms throughout the hallway. Spork and Webmistress FREEZE.

SPORK

That noise. I’ve heard it before.

WEBMISTRESS

So have I. Now we have to run.

SPORK

Why?

WEBMISTRESS

The Exalted is here.

Webmistress goes into a dash and Spork struggles to keep up.

FADE TO BLACK

12:44:04

FADE IN

INT. NOT-SO-MENANCING HALLWAY—NIGHT

Victor walks down the not-so menacing hallways completely unaware of where he is going, but persisting nonetheless. Behind him trails Matt Murdock and Danger Mouse.

DANGER MOUSE

Master, I was wondering if you’ll let me have sex with Jayna in your room tonight.

MATT MURDOCK

Hell no, what are you smoking kid? Do it in Altered Ego’s room like you always do. He never goes in there anyway. I don’t know what you see in that girl anyway, other than sex and hand-jobs.

DANGER MOUSE

What’s wrong with that?

MATT MURDOCK

Look, god damn it kid, I only let you do this because I relate to your problem. You have nothing to do here and I understand. But you think you and your little whore, you think that’s love? That’s not love, young apprentice, it is nothing but pain and lust. Years from now you will regret ever knowing that woman. Just remember, you have brought this upon yourself.

DANGER MOUSE

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Suddenly Victor makes a dead stop. There is a very disturbed look on his face.

MATT

What is it?

VICTOR

I remember this place. Only there were pictures here before, portraits on every wall. Now they’re gone.

DANGER MOUSE

Maybe it wasn’t the same hallway.

VICTOR

No, it was this one. I’m almost sure of it.

A strange man appears from a corner behind him. He is dirty and unshaven.

STRANGE MAN

Hello. I trust your enjoying your evening.

Matt grabs Victor, protecting him.

MATT
It’s Dante. He’s one of the Exalted’s guards.

“Dante” then screeches in pain as scales start to come out of his skin. His eyes burn a fiery red. His skin pops open, revealing a very pissed off demon inside. This is DANTE, SON OF SPARDA.

DANTE, SON OF SPARDA

THE EXALTED SENDS HIS BEST WISHES. HE HOPES THAT YOUR PLANE RIDE HOME IS A SAFE AND SECURE ONE, FULL OF LOVE AND PEACE.

DANGER MOUSE

I don’t think so, Dante!!!

Danger Mouse uses his supreme telekinetic abilities to send Dante flying 55 feet away from them.

DANTE, SON OF SPARDA

OH THAT IS SO NOT FAIR!!!

MATT MURDOCK

RUN!!!

Matt, Victor and DM take off running through the hallways of the building, twisting and turning.

VICTOR

We have to find Spork, that dumb ass is probably already dead by now!!!!

MATT MURDOCK

WHAT WE HAVE TO FIND IS THAT PLANE!!

They run through the hallways testing the theory of relativity, their bodies becoming mere blurs.

FADE TO BLACK

12:51:55

Murray

06-25-2005, 09:55 PM

FADE IN

INT. YET ANOTHER HALLWAY—NIGHT

Spork and Webmistress are running through the halls like banshees.

SPORK

So, uh, exactly how bad is this Exalted guy?

WEBMISTRESS

He makes me look like Mary Mother of Jesus.

SPORK

Whoa.

The menacing sound is heard once again, closer than ever.

WEBMISTRESS

We can’t outrun him anymore. I need you to get behind me and hide.

SPORK

Gladly.

WEBMISTRESS

Don’t get too exited.

Spork goes over and cowers in the corner. Webmistress pulls out a shotgun, ready for battle.

WEBMISTRESS

Come out and face me coward.

BOOMING VOICE
OH PLEASE, NOT ANOTHER HERO. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE YOU PEOPLE? YOU REALLY, REALLY SUCK.

Spork and Webmistress sit and stare in fear at a huge, mysterious figure, his face covered up by a long robe that surrounds the floor. He is twice as huge as both of them combined. This is THE EXALTED.

WEBMISTRESS
I’m not afraid of you. I never was. Tell me where the plane is.

THE EXALTED
YOU MIGHT NOT BE, BUT YOUR FRIEND SURE AS HELL IS. WHO IS HE? HE LOOKS NEW. LET ME GUESS, HE CAME FROM THE PLANE? AND LEFT IT THERE? HEH, THAT’S RICH.

WEBMISTRESS

I didn’t come here to talk, I came to find the plane. Get the **** out of my way.

THE EXALTED
AND HOW EXACTLY ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT? CERTAINLY NOT WITH THAT MOUTH, YOUNG MA’AM.

Webmistress shoots the Exalted several times. He runs away screaming like a little girl, and he goes home to cry to his momma.

WEBMISTRESS

That was easy. Come on.

Spork picks himself up and follows Webmistress.

FADE TO BLACK

12:56:05

FADE IN

INT. ANOTHER HALLWAY—NIGHT

Victor, Matt and Danger Mouse are running through the hallway, until they see Webmistress and Spork not too far away from them.

VICTOR

Spork, you son of a *****, I should kill you!

WEBMISTRESS

Where’s the plane?

SPORK
I don’t know, I thought it was supposed to be in this room.

Victor looks around wide-eyed in terror.

VICTOR

No. Please don’t tell me what I think you’re going to tell me.

MATT MURDOCK

I’m afraid so, Victor.

VICTOR

No. NO, THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!

Victor is completely freaking out.

SPORK

What’s going on, man? Where is this place?

MATT MURDOCK

We know very little of this place, except that its called the Hype.

VICTOR

No, no, no…

MATT MURDOCK

We only know that unlike you, we can only remember bits and pieces of what happened before the crash.

VICTOR

This is a nightmare, that’s all this is.

SPORK

All right, I want an explanation. Why is Victor freaking out?

MATT MURDOCK

Because he knows that your plane is gone completely.

SPORK

What? That doesn’t even make any sense!

Victor bends down and buries his face into his hands.

MATT MURDOCK

What about are superpowers? You think that makes any sense? This place doesn’t run on sense. It runs on something else, something greater. I don’t know what but it does.

SPORK

I’m not even gonna joke with you, where’s our plane?

MATT MURDOCK

Your plane is gone. You are stuck here with us, forever.

FADE TO BLACK

1:00:00

FADE OUT

Alexia Dark

06-25-2005, 10:13 PM

Hehe. Lovin' it :up:.

Robin91939

06-25-2005, 10:51 PM

NAME: ROBIN
REAL NAME: TIM
PAST HISTORY: Once i was a partner to Batman, but then i got sick and tired of the constant gay jokes. So i set out on my on, then my dad was killed. I was depressed for a while. I moved out of Gotham and im just trying to find myself, often nights ive turned to alcohol. But then i went to AA and have my life back on track. Im back as a crime fighter in the city of Flockner 30 miles from Gotham.
Powers: Nah, i havent got any powers, but im better than the other Robins. That quere that died, and the Dick.
Survival Tech: well, i use a bo staff, does that count :confused:

-R

SapphirePrima

06-26-2005, 12:20 AM

Hey is it too late to join?

anyway here's my character

Name: Pira
Past History:Pira was once an ordinary girl who loved to laugh till the day she went into a cemetary and a sprit called Matrix followed her out. Matrix has become very protective over her and has a gun that when he shots can injure(not kill) living people. After meeting Matrix Pira has become a more worrisome person.
Super Powers (if any): Her smiles can give people toothaches
Survival techniques:Hide behind Matrix and tell him to shot someone or ask Matrix what to do.

TEDDY

06-26-2005, 12:29 AM

Name:TEDDY
Past History: A former lost TEDDY, TEDDY was abandoned on the island of lost toys. On his travels to find a new home, he has learned much about how the world works. A TEDDY BEAR activist, he currently rallies for the TEDDY cause on the Hype!
Super Powers (if any): Super cuddlieness (is that a power?), advanced knowledge
Survival techniques: sit still, shut up, and look cute

moop501

06-26-2005, 01:39 AM

Name: Ball-Buster
History: Michael has had years of school to learn the best insults.He also has a unique gift to spot a person's flaws and pounce on them.He is a deadly ninja-assasin....you can't forget that.
Powers: Sarcasm.He can pick on you until you cry.Then when your eyes are full of tears,he'll kill you with his sai.
Survival Technique: Make fun,then attack.

M.E.H.Z.E.B

06-26-2005, 01:56 AM

Name: Die Vaulectic
Real Name: Mehzeb C.

Past History: Half-human, half alien. Born on a costal town in asia. Migrated to Europe in his early 20s. Became a Private Detective. Had a clash with GW Bush, over a game of checkers at the White House. Fought off the US Marines in the Pacific. Bush apologized later.

Super Powers (if any): Increased endurance to pain. super-speed. sharper vision. mind-boggling agility. telepathic, and telekinetic. healing ability.

Survival techniques: can blend in with any crowd, impersonating anyone around you. extremely charming. will wait for his opponent to make a mistake, before moving in for the kill.

Murray

06-26-2005, 10:30 AM

Allright, I really hate to do this, but if you don't release a profile thingy before Episode 2 you will become lame cameo-only material. :( But all these people who are signing up now will become major characters either soon or later on in the show.

The Last Meatbag

06-26-2005, 10:36 AM

oh and just a note murray Im a dude, funny stuff by the way

Murray

06-26-2005, 10:44 AM

oh and just a note murray Im a dude, funny stuff by the way
I am quite aware of that, women don't usually have balls to get kicked in. :confused:

Captain_Obvious

06-26-2005, 10:53 PM

I've only managed to read the first part but I likes it :up:

M.E.H.Z.E.B

06-27-2005, 05:41 AM

:up:

Max Shrek

06-30-2005, 09:00 PM

Name: Maximus Shrek.
Past History: Killed by a group of bullies, Max made a deal with the darkside to come back and murder them and anyone who goes onto his land... the Hype.
Super Powers: Unkillable and super strong.
Survival techniques: He's a slaher basically. Therefore, stalking, unkillableity, clever, etc.

The Lumberjack

06-30-2005, 09:51 PM

Name: Jack Tingle A.K.A. The Lumberjack
Past History: (Based Det. Flass's version of the character) An infamous serial killer, Jack Tingle racked up over 80 known murders over the course of a 10 year killing spree, but he suspected of murdering over 400. Beginning at the age of 19 during his first semester of college, Tingle strangled a sorority girl to death after a date turned sour. Here he got a taste for the death which would become a lustful obsession, and eventually employment for various crime organizations. His murders escalated over the years to a point where his crime scenes were almost artistic. Blood splattered purposefully created intricate yet abstact designs and body were transformed into statues of fantastic creatures. The Lumberjack is currently serving 67 consecutive life sentences in a maximum security wing of a mental hospital, but tends to lend his knowledge of the evil and insane as well as his knowledge of the seedy underbelly of life to those who know how to properly extract it.....
Super Powers: A devious wit that can seemingly crawl into your mind and tap your fears and moderate super strength.
Survival Techniques: No compassion.

Sentinel X

06-30-2005, 10:15 PM

NAME:Sentinel_08
History:Recently changed from human to machine
Superpowers:Telkeineisis,Super-speed,Control of Animals(That includes humans!)
Survival:If Sentinel_08 is starving he has a bin inside his body that contains homemade oatmeal and vanilla pudding

hippie_hunter

06-30-2005, 10:43 PM

http://www.coolanimetoys.com/ebay/metalgear-raiden2.jpg

ALIAS: The Hippy Hunter

REAL NAME: Jesse White

FORMER ALIASES: Nightwing

BASE OF OPERATIONS: mobile

AGE: 17

HEIGHT: 5'10

WEIGHT: 150

HAIR: a brown so dark that it looks black

EYES: brown

SUPERPOWERS: none

SECRET IDENTITY: existance only known by the U.S. Government

OCCUPATION: government assassin, professional hippy hunter

SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES: Posesses an I.Q of over 190, knows most forms of fighting styles and is one of the worlds greatest martial artists, can survive in nearly all forms of enviromental terrains due to his armor, can turn almost anything into something useful for survival or combat

WEAPONS: katana, M4, SOCOM, M9 tranquilizer gun, various forms of grenades and other explosives, despite having numerous weapons prefers to use his martial arts skills and katana

HISTORY: Little is known about Jesse White except that he traveled the world at a very young age to learn various forms of fighting styles. He also has an extreme hate for hippies possibly due to a tragic event scarring him for life involving them when he was very young. At age 14, Jesse White became the Hippy Hunter and started his hunt for hippies and to destroy the corrupt. At age 15 his skills were noticed by the U.S. Government and recruited him to be an assassin as a member of the FOX Unit, a covert group of the worlds greatest assassins. After a few months he left the FOX Unit to join the Haturz League with one of his former mentors Spike_x1 to combat Pitof, Denise DiNovi, Halle Berry and WB for the travesty known as CINO. He took up another alias Nightwing and together the Haturz League defeated the evil CINO and the group went into an inactive status waiting for the next crappy superhero film. Once the Haturz League went inactive he rejoined the FOX Unit and returned to the name Hippy Hunter to continue his assassinations and to kill hippies. Considered to be an anti-hero by his collegues, many consider the Hippy Hunter a dick due to his loner attitude, his reluctance to talk, especially about his past, all possibly due to some trauma. He'll only work on a team when he considers it necessary. Despite his hatreds and attitude, he has dedicated his life to defend those who cannot defend themselves and to destroy the corrupt and of course destroy all hippydom. However recently the Hippy Hunter has been searching for something more meaningful in his life besides killing but so far that search has come up with no results.

GROUP AFFILIATIONS: FOX Unit, Haturz League (inactive)

MARITAL STATUS: single

KNOWN RELATIVES: none, all presumed to be dead

Gimpy

07-01-2005, 12:27 AM

Name:Chain Reaction
Real Name: Alexandria Ivonavich
Real Job: Nuclear engineer at secret base in New Mexico, also provides protection.
Past History: Brought to america by her father, Gregory Ivonavich, who helped build nuclear arms after defecting from Russia, where he was head of the development programs. After a freak accident while helping her father, she developed the ability to influence radioactive materials.
Super Powers (if any): Can handle nuclear materials and waste, can cause critical mass to be reached with radioactive elements, can prevent nuclear melt down and can provide power. Can change the xhain reaaction of nuclear isotopes.
Survival techniques: ducks when being shoot, fights with hands and runs if situation calls for it.

hippie_hunter

07-01-2005, 12:25 PM

Bump

Socrates

07-07-2005, 02:40 PM

EPISODE 2 - “Master”

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HOSPITAL - DAY - 1977

We go through a hospital and see a young Matt Murdock. He is wearing a STAR WARS T-shirt. Someone is talking to the young man as he listens attentively.

GRUFF VOICE
You have better things to do with your life. You can be someone people look up to... a hero. People can learn to respect you. But don’t be a fighter, like me. I want you to be someone who is respectable, someone who holds respect with everyone. If you do this, Matt, you will live a very fortunate life.

MATT MURDOCK
Yes, Grandma.

The camera wheels around as we reveal that the person who is talking to Matt is in fact his GRANDMOTHER. We take this in...

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. BUILDING - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

The Hype, in one of its seemingly similar hallways. Matt Murdock and Danger Mouse stand in the middle of a wide open room in a corner of the hallway.

DANGER MOUSE
Master, how long have you been training me?

Matt Murdock looks over to Danger Mouse.

MATT MURDOCK
I will only train you as long as it takes.

DANGER MOUSE
How long will it take before I have become fully trained? How long will we wait here, not knowing everything about this place? How long will we be trapped by it?

Matt Murdock looks at Danger Mouse in anger. He suddenly realizes what Danger Mouse is saying.

MATT MURDOCK
I know what this is about. You want to go to the other side of the building.

DANGER MOUSE
Well, we should at least tell Victor and Spork. They have earned the right to know.

MATT MURDOCK
I do not trust them. They would become agitated and would go to the other side looking for some kind of answers. If we are going to find any answers we should look here first. No need to go on some vendetta.

DANGER MOUSE
But, Mast--

MATT MURDOCK
I’ve let you go out with that Jayna of yours; I’ve provided for you. But I will not allow you to jeopardize our lives just so we can go looking for something. We have to solve our problems first; before we can solve anything else.

Danger Mouse hangs his head down.

DANGER MOUSE
I’m sorry Master. I did not--

MATT MURDOCK
I know you didn’t. Just let us begin training today, okay?

A MAN wearing a mask watches Matt Murdock and Danger Mouse training from the shadows. Studying them.

CUT TO: WHITE ROOM - NIGHT

Victor Von Doom, Spork and Webmistress are all sitting down in the white room.

VICTOR VON DOOM
I still can’t believe we’re stuck here!

WEBMISTRESS
You will soon get over the feeling. I’ve begun to think of this place as my home, in the past couple of days.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Oh, sure. All it needs is a little redecoration and it’s a f**king paradise.

Webmistress becomes angry at Victor’s sarcastic reply. Her eyes begin to glow silver again.

WEBMISTRESS
You think you’ve got it hard? You've got it easy. I have no memory of what happened before, no memory of whom or what I was. We are stuck here. Now we all have to take our time, and deal with it.

VOICE
You’ve been dealing just well, you crazy bi polar b**ch.

We turn around and see that the voice belongs to a man in his thirties, totally unshaven and repulsive.

WEBMISTRESS
Ball Buster. So nice of you to drop by.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Ball…buster?

BALL BUSTER
In the flesh, you dirty mother-f**kers!

SPORK
Wow, I can see how you two would get along just fine.

BALL BUSTER
Who’s this ugly guy?

SPORK
Ugly? YOU BASTARD!!

Spork jumps from his seat and grips Ball Buster in a death lock. Webmistress gets up to separate the two. Victor Von Doom continues to sit down; he clearly doesn't care. Webmistress succeeds in separating them. Spork backs away, angry. Ball Buster stands over him with a gigantic grin on his face.

BALL BUSTER
Struck a nerve, did I? My bad, next time I’ll try harder.

Ball Buster grins and walks away.

SPORK (Muttering)
Bastard.

WEBMISTRESS
You have no idea.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. PARK - DAY - 1989

We see a park, full of little kids running about; trees with green colors; sunlight. Matt Murdock, now in his twenties, is walking through the park. He is wearing a BATMAN T-shirt. We follow him walking through the park until he spots a friend near by. Michael, who is slightly younger than him. This is Michael before he becomes Ball Buster.

MICHAEL
Hey, Matt. It’s about time you got here!

MATT MURDOCK
I took my time.

MICHAEL
Look Matt, there’s... someone I’ve been dieing for you to meet. She’s a real catch, I promise you.

Matt Murdock's facial expression heads into a downward spiral.

MATT MURDOCK
Aww, dammit.

MICHAEL
No, Matt, I swear I’m serious this time!

MATT MURDOCK
If you say so.

MICHAEL
Good. I think that's her now.

We see a young woman in a blue dress walking up the road. It is Webmistress. Matt Murdock is absolutely floored at the sight of her. Michael smiles, knowing that he did the job right. But Michael wouldn’t care if their date had gone horribly.

MATT MURDOCK
Whoa, look at her!

MICHEAL
Well, don’t just stand there. Go talk to her.

Webmistress smiles as she gets closer to Matt Murdock. As Matt Murdock gets closer to Webmistress, he feels himself begin to shake from fear.

WEBMISTRESS
Hello.

MATT MURDOCK
Hello. I'm Matthew Murdock.

WEBMISTRESS
I know. Your friend told me already.

MATT MURDOCK
Ah, I didn't get your name.

WEBMISTRESS
Well, when you don't have someone to call you by your name anymore, you tend to forget.

Matt Murdock cringes at the statement.

WEBMISTRESS (Cont'd.)
Oh man, I’m sorry. Did I say something I shouldn’t have?

MATT MURDOCK
It’s not your fault. I’ve recently had problems…with my family.

WEBMISTRESS
Well, we’ve all been there. I'm Webmistress, Matt. It's a real pleasure to meet you.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. THE EXALTED’S SECRET EVIL CHAMBERS - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

The MAN in the mask walks down sinister and foreboding hallways of the Secret Evil Chambers of the Exalted. Currently standing before him in human form, Dante, and Die Vaulectic. The Exalted is seated on a golden throne in the middle of the two men.

THE EXALTED
MAX SHREK, MY LOYAL ASSISTANT, WHAT NEWS DO YOU BRING ME?

MAXIMUS SHREK
If I may be so bold sir, the new people, Victor and Spork are of no use to use. They are completely lost and bewildered. Not even their newfound friends find trust in them.

THE EXALTED
WE ARE AT A COMPLETE LOSS?!

MAXIMUS SHREK
Sir, the blind one's apprentice, Danger Mouse may be of use to us. He is extremely rash, and incompetent. He wishes to go to the other side of the building. He may be used to our advantage, sir.

THE EXALTED
HOW SO?

MAXIMUS SHREK
I believe he can be turned to our side.

DIE VAULECTIC
And how exactly do you plan to do that? Explain.

MAXIMUS SHREK
Danger Mouse’s consistently loses faith in his master. One mistake, one failure from him, and his apprentice shall be in our control.

THE EXALTED
SO WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?

MAXIMUS SHREK
We wait.

CUT TO: BLUE ROOM - NIGHT

Danger Mouse walks into a homely looking room. Jayna, in her Wonder Twins outfit, stands across from Danger Mouse.

JAYNA
Yo, how’s it hanging, b**ch?

Danger Mouse throws his jacket down to the floor.

DANGER MOUSE
I’m starting to worry about Matt. He's the only father I’ll ever have. But he appears so haunted by his damned past!

Jayna puts her hands on Danger Mouse’s cheeks. He really finds comfort in her eyes.

JAYNA
Aren’t all of us, baby?

Danger Mouse takes her hands and withdraws them from his face.

DANGER MOUSE
I suppose. I just have this big worrying trouble hanging over my head that I’m going to turn into some major disappointment for both of you. I don’t want that for either of you.

JAYNA
Don’t be such a fool. Matt’s lucky to have such a thoughtful apprentice if you ask me.

Jayna puts her hand behind Danger Mouse’s neck.

DANGER MOUSE
But why does he disapproves of us so much.

JAYNA
He’s just jealous! Come on, you worry too much about other people’s problems. Worry about yourself for just one night, please?

Jayna and Danger Mouse kiss passionately…

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT - 1994

Matt Murdock lies awake in a crappy bed alongside Webmistress. He is now wearing a PULP FICTION T-shirt. The room is an absolute mess. He gets out of bed with a worried face.

WEBMISTRESS
Matt, its four in the morning…why are you awake?

MATT MURDOCK
I’m worried.

WEBMISTRESS
Worried? We’re getting married in two days.

MATT MURDOCK
That’s why I’m worried.

WEBMISTRESS
You worry too much.

Matt Murdock begins to pace around the apartment.

MATT MURDOCK
I’ve got to take a walk; clear my head. I’ll be back.

WEBMISTRESS
I love you.

MATT MURDOCK
I know.

Matt Murdock walks out of the door of their apartment and out to the foggy, street outside. He puts his hands in his coat and walks down the street. He drops some change into the hobo’s guitar on 44th Street, before walking into a bar. He takes a seat up front by the bar.

BARTENDER
You look like someone who could use a drink.

MATT MURDOCK
No s**t, Sherlock. Why do you think I’m here?

VOICE
Now, you don’t have to get mean with him.

Matt Murdock turns around and sees the voice belongs to a woman standing over him.

MATT MURDOCK
Who the hell are you?!

WOMAN
I'm X-chick.

MATT MURDOCK
Sex-Chick, huh?

X-CHICK
X-Chick.

MATT MURDOCK
Well, X-Chick. Thank you for ruining my oh so perfect evening.

X-CHICK
I’m pleased to be at your service.

Matt Murdock buries his face in his hands.

MATT MURDOCK
I’m supposed to be getting married in two days! Why am I even here?

X-CHICK
No self-will whatsoever? That's my guess.

MATT MURDOCK
Why would she love me? I don't know what a budget is! I’m going to be a horrible husband! I’m going to ruin her.

X-chick sits down beside him.

X-CHICK
Look man, this is none of my business. But it seems you’re being too hard on yourself.

MATT MURDOCK
Too hard on myself? I’ll let you know that--

With this Matt Murdock promptly passes out.

BARTENDER
Hey! I didn’t even give him a drink!

Socrates

07-07-2005, 02:41 PM

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. NOT-SO-MENANCING HALLWAY - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

Victor Von Doom and Webmistress both walk down an oddly familiar hallway. Victor Von Doom stops her.

VICTOR VON DOOM
So what exactly is with this Murdock guy? Who appointed him Buddha?

Webmistress rolls her eyes at the comment.

WEBMISTRESS
I don't know. The guy gives me the creeps. He keeps staring at me, as if he knows me or something.

SPORK
He’s probably just staring at your tits.

VICTOR VON DOOM
How’d you get here?

SPORK
I walked. How’d you get here?

VICTOR VON DOOM
Do you think your funny? One of these days I shall pop that skull of yours open.

Webmistress stops as she sees something up ahead.

WEBMISTRESS
Speak of the devil himself. I’m going to leave now.
Webmistress leaves as Matt Murdock enters the room.

MATT MURDOCK
What were you guys talking about?!?

SPORK
Stuff. You wouldn’t understand. It was strictly lady business.

VICTOR
For goodness sake, do you ever shut up?

Victor Von Doom turns to Matt Murdock.

VICTOR VON DOOM (Cont'd.)
I’m sorry. He just gets that way sometimes.

Victor Von Doom thinks for a moment.

VICTOR VON DOOM (Cont'd.)
All the time, actually.

MATT MURDOCK
That’s great. I’ve been meaning to speak with you actually.

VICTOR
Does it happen to involve some psychology s**t? Because I’m really not in the mood.

MATT MURDOCK
No, not really.

Matt Murdock pulls out a gun and shoots Victor Von Doom.

VICTOR VON DOOM
What the fu--?

BLAM! A second shot. Spork begins to cower in terror as Victor’s eyes open wide.

VICTOR VON DOOM (Cont'd.)
I should have gotten laid when I had the chance that one time.

BLAM! The final shot. Victor falls to the floor with a massive thud. He is dead. Smoke floats out of the barrel of the gun. Spork just looks over at Matt Murdock in terror.

SPORK
You killed him!

MATT MURDOCK
No.

Matt Murdock throws the gun on the floor and it spins magically across the now blood splattered floor. He throws himself back against the wall as his knees crack audibly.

MATT
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

SPORK
You bastard!

Matt Murdock runs off.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
EXT. X-CHICK’S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY - 1994

Webmistress approaches the entrance to X-Chick’s apartment. She rings the doorbell, and X-chick answers the door. Tears are running down Webmistress’s face.

WEBMISTRESS
Where is he?

X-CHICK
Who?

WEBMISTRESS
Don’t lie to me, you two timing b**ch! Where is Matt?

X-chick shakes her head in fear.

X-CHICK
Look lady, I know what it looks like. But it isn’t.

WEBMISTRESS
I didn’t come here to argue with you.

Matt Murdock comes from behind X-chick in boxers.

MATT MURDOCK
Oh no...

WEBMISTESS
Just what the f**k are you doing?

X-CHICK
Look, lady…

WEBMISTRESS
Was I talking to you?!

Webmistress’s eyes glow silver. X-chick runs off.

MATT MURDOCK
I’m sorry Webby. I just had a couple of beers and then…

WEBMISTRESS
I don’t understand you Matt. Why do this to yourself?

MATT MURDOCK
I... don't know!

WEBMISTRESS
Matt, you could have been a great man. You could have been a legend.

MATT MURDOCK
I don't--

WEBMISTRESS
But you chose to be a loser. I’m sorry Matt. I can’t do this anymore.

Webmistress slams the door in Matt Murdock's face. He just hangs his head down in shame...

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. THE EXALTED’S EVIL SECRET CHAMBERS - NIGHT - PRESENT DAY

The Exalted sits in his throne. His servant Maximus Shrek approaches.

MAXIMUS SHREK
We could not possibly want for anything better to happen. It appears Matt's downfall was his own, sir.

THE EXALTED
AND WHAT EXACTLY HAS HAPPENED?

MAXIMUS SHREK
Matt has killed Victor. It is only a matter of time before Danger Mouse comes to our aide.

THE EXALTED
GOOD. THE TIME OF LOVE AND PEACE IS ALMOST HERE. YOU HAVE SERVED ME WELL, YOUNG MAXIMUS.

MAXIMUS
I try, my lord.

FADE TO BLACK

HYPE: THE SERIES

Kratos

07-13-2005, 01:53 PM

bump-ish. :o

Captain_Obvious

07-13-2005, 03:13 PM

why the hell is Soc writing this :confused:

Master Chief

07-13-2005, 03:35 PM

Soccy edits, puts a more serious spin on it for some reason.

Mr. Thing

07-13-2005, 04:01 PM

Am I too late? :(

Kratos

07-13-2005, 04:05 PM

Am I too late? :(Sorry, I can still get you in for a good cameo. :cool:

Mr. Thing

07-13-2005, 04:08 PM

Sorry, I can still get you in for a good cameo. :cool:

Maybe a second series?

Kratos

07-13-2005, 04:15 PM

Maybe a second series?
Maybe. Or maybe i could just give you a recurring cameo in everyone's past history. :daredevil

Mr. Thing

07-13-2005, 04:22 PM

Maybe. Or maybe i could just give you a recurring cameo in everyone's past history. :daredevil

:up:

Should I give you my powers and stuff then?

The Spider-Bat

07-13-2005, 04:35 PM

Name: The Spider-Bat

Past History: Spider-Man and Batman decided to go lessbian and made me!

Super Powers: Wallcrawling, Webshooting, Spidey sense, Superstrenght

Survival Method: The Tumbler, and batarngs.

Socrates

07-14-2005, 04:45 AM

why the hell is Soc writing this :confused:

You make it seem like it would be such a bad thing if I had been the one to write this. :(

Max Shrek

07-14-2005, 04:52 AM

I want a body count!

M.E.H.Z.E.B

07-14-2005, 05:13 AM

*sigh*
Even after signing up...

I'm not even in this! :mad:

Captain_Obvious

07-14-2005, 09:35 AM

*sigh*
Even after signing up...

I'm not even in this! :mad:you were like..the 10th person to ****ing sign up...OBVIOUSLY you won't be added first, nor will you get a bigger role.

Captain_Obvious

07-14-2005, 09:36 AM

You make it seem like it would be such a bad thing if I had been the one to write this. :(
I was only in a few fleeting moments of shock...I assumed if Murray made the the thread, wrote them...then he'd post them.

Kratos

07-14-2005, 09:39 AM

*sigh*
Even after signing up...

I'm not even in this! :mad:
youre that die valuectic guy. You have one line! Go celebrate!:up:

Kratos

07-14-2005, 09:40 AM

I was only in a few fleeting moments of shock...I assumed if Murray made the the thread, wrote them...then he'd post them.
Murray's been teh banned. Thats why Im on this username now. :)

Captain_Obvious

07-14-2005, 09:42 AM

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/InsayneJayne/Smilies/redshocked.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/InsayneJayne/Smilies/redshocked.gifhttp://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/InsayneJayne/Smilies/redshocked.gif

:(

how horrible...R.I.P Murray
though I like the username Kratos a little better

Kratos

07-14-2005, 09:52 AM

Abaddon

08-06-2005, 09:25 PM

And then he got banned again.....

Master Chief

08-06-2005, 09:44 PM

The series will still go on. :up:

SapphirePrima

08-06-2005, 09:59 PM

who's going to be writing this then?

Mr. Edward Hyde

08-06-2005, 10:07 PM

This thread smells like tuna.

Master Chief

08-06-2005, 10:12 PM

Because of Socrates taking so long with the edit of Episode 3, JollyJohnny requested I just dish out whatever the f**k I could come up with, so I present the edited version of Episode 3.

EPISODE 3 - “Reaction”

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
EXT. PRAIRIE - DAY

A prairie stretches across a thin and desolate landscape. Its scale is vast and unfathomable. Miles and miles of nothing stretch out into a beautiful sunset. A young boy runs down a paved road. His frail arms flailing about. This young boy runs towards a yellow house, where the paint is already chipping. An older woman sits on the porch, in a rocking chair. The young boy runs up to the porch, and stops when he gets to the base. Tears begin to flow down the young boy's face. He falls down, with a hard thud. The woman gets out of the chair, and moves over to the young boy to comfort him. She hugs him, as he cries over her shoulder.

YOUNG BOY
He's...dead. We killed him.

MOTHER
We have some things to be guilty of, but murder is not one of them. Masturbating and incest are among them, but not murder. So don't go filling your head with such ridiculous thoughts. We'll survive this.

The young boy starts wiping the tears off his face. He then turns around, and sits down at the base of the porch. His mother sits there beside him.

MOTHER
We’re going to be alright, Danger Mouse. We just have to make it out of this together.

But Danger Mouse isn’t listening. Instead, staring wide in fear; total horror covers his face. The woman's jaw drops as she begins to notice what Danger Mouse is looking at: Thousands of LOCUSTS. They are destroying and eating everything in the prairie. The LOCUSTS begin heading toward Danger Mouse and the woman, like a biblical monster.

FADE TO BLACK

TEXT: This is Danger Mouse's only memory before the Hype.

FADE IN
INT. BLUE ROOM - NIGHT

Danger Mouse is thrashing around the bed, obviously uncomfortable. Jayna lies comfortably beside him, with a slightly baffled expression.

JAYNA
...Are we... are we having sex?

DANGER MOUS
No.

JAYNA
Could this wait until tomorrow? I'm too tired.

DANGER MOUSE
Something's happening.

JAYNA
So?

DANGER MOUSE
I have to go.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. MENACING HALLWAY - NIGHT

Webmistress walks cautiously through the hallways, following trails of blood. Her eyes begin to glow intensely, when she notices the dead body of Victor Von Doom. Spork cowers on the other side of Victor Von Doom.

WEBMISTRESS
Who did this?

Spork's lips start to quiver, and then he begins to curl himself into a ball.

WEBMISTRESS
I'm not joking, Spork. Who did this?

SPORK
It was Matthew.

Spork says the name, with utter disgust.

WEBMISTRESS
Why didn’t you go after him?

SPORK
I’m no fighter.

WEBMISTRESS
I can't believe you.

SPORK
You know me! I like what I am, I'm a pussy!!

Webmistress clenches her fist; until blood starts to drip off her hand.

SPORK
You should really cut your nails.

WEBMISTRESS
Shut up.

SPORK
What're we going to do?

WEBMISTRESS
You're going to stay here, while I go after the bastard that did this.

Webmistress runs off down the hallway, vengeance burning in her eyes.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. TRAINING ROOM - NIGHT

Matt Murdock over-looks the huge selection of katana swords, deciding which to choose. Danger Mouse enters the vast room, and begins approaching Matt Murdock.

DANGER MOUSE
Mast-- Matt?

MATT MURDOCK
I should've listened earlier, but I've come to the decision: you were right. I'd locked ourselves away from the answers we seek.

DANGER MOUSE
No, it was a bad idea. You were right from the beginning.

Danger Mouse gestures toward the Katana swords Matt Murdock is observing.

DANGER MOUSE
What are you doing?

MATT MURDOCK
I'm atoning for...sins. Look, you need to go.

DANGER MOUSE
I don't understand this.

MATT MURDOCK
Nobody will understand this...

Matt Murdock walks away, carrying an all black Katana.

MAN (O.S)
God abandoned him a long time ago. He cannot be helped.

Danger Mouse slowly turns around to see Die Valuectic. Danger Mouse quickly grabs Die Valuectic and shoves him against the wall.

DANGER MOUSE
You did this to him!

DIE VALUECTIC
No. He did this to himself. Why does everyone blame everything on someone else?

DANGER MOUSE
How stupid are you? I should just slit your throat now, and get this over with.

DIE VALUECTIC
Oh, I bet that'll be my ****ing fault too!

Someone suddenly grabs Danger Mouse from behind, and slides a knife along his throat.

MAXIMUS SHREK
Exactly what I've had in mind.

DANGER MOUSE
What do you want?

MAXIMUS SHREK
I'd like to slip my cock in your ass, but actually, to offer a proposal. Now, join the Exalted, and you will find true happiness.

DANGER MOUSE
I'm sure the Exalted wouldn't mind knowing what his most trusted servant is doing behind his back.

DIE VALUECTIC
What does he mean by that?

DANGER MOUSE
I'll tell you what I me--

MAXIMUS SHREK
Better choose your words carefully, kid, 'cause your sexual innuendos are making me horny, and my pants can only hold my hulking wang so long. You could really hurt the life of someone close to you.

DANGER MOUSE
You bastard--

Maximus Shrek lets go of Danger Mouse, forcing him to the ground. Danger Mouse looks over his shoulder to find Maximus Shrek and Die Valuectic have already left.

DANGER MOUSE
Jayna!

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. THE EXALTED’S CHAMBERS - NIGHT

Maximus Shrek and Die Valuectic enter the throne room of the Exalted. A shadowed figure watches, unnoticed.

THE EXALTED
WHAT NEWS DO YOU BRING ME?

DIE VALUECTIC
The apprentice declined your generous offer.

MAXIMUS SHREK
With all due respect, sir, I believe the apprentice can still be persuaded.

THE EXALTED
WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE?

MAXIMUS SHREK
I have my ways.

THE EXALTED
I ALLOW YOU TO DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY.

MALE (O.S)
No.

CUT TO:
INT. OUTSIDE THE EXALTED'S CHAMBERS - NIGHT

THE EXALTED (O.S.)
KILL HIM!!

A darkened room just outside the throne room, with four guards lying on the floor. All four bodies are dismembered in horrific ways.

DIE VALUECTIC (O.S.)
You shouldn't have come here.

Die Valuectic's voice is cut off by a Katana being un-sheathed.

DIE VALUECTIC (O.S.)
You will not leave--

Die Valuectic doesn't continue talking; the sound of a body drops to the floor.

MAXIMUS SHREK (O.S.)
I'm going to play with your insides, and bang your corpse.

No other sound comes from the room except the sound of a neck being snapped. The entrance door to the throne room opens, and Matt Murdock walks out carrying the Exalted, and throws him to the floor.

THE EXALTED
IF YOU'RE PLANNING TO DO SOMETHING, NOW WOULD BE THE TIME.

MATT MURDOCK
I've already done what is necessary.

Matt Murdock grabs the Exalted by his head, and swiftly swings the blade to Exalted's throat, and stops suddenly not even an inch away.

MATT MURDOCK
I promise today will seem like a picnic if you ever try something with Danger Mouse.

THE EXALTED
DON'T COME BACK HERE, BOY. EVER AGAIN.

Matt Murdock begins to walk away.

THE EXALTED
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT TO FIND? YOUR HUMANITY?

MATT MURDOCK
My humanity is gone; I lost it years ago.

THE EXALTED
THEN WHY BOTHER?

MATT MURDOCK
I need answers for my other sins.

Matt Murdock leaves.

THE EXALTED
****ing goths.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. BLUE ROOM - NIGHT

Jayna sits in the middle of the room, cross-legged. Danger Mouse slowly comes walking in, with sheer disbelief covering his face.

DANGER MOUSE
Jayna... I've failed you. And everyone around me.

JAYNA
Don't say such nonsense. You're too great of a man to fail anyone.

Danger Mouse slides down the wall until his knees rise above his face.

DANGER MOUSE
I can’t believe this is happening.

JAYNA
Look, there’s nothing you can do now.

DANGER MOUSE
No. No, you’re wrong. I have to believe that Matt can still be saved.

JAYNA
Look, he’s a lost cause, like that script that guy never got around to editing once—

Danger Mouse grabs a hold of Jayna.

DANGER MOUSE
You have to stay here. You have to stay out of trouble. Use my gun if they come to get you.

JAYNA
If who comes to get me?

DANGER MOUSE
The locusts. They’re everywhere.

Danger Mouse grabs his robe, puts it on and heads to the door.

JAYNA
What locusts?! Danger Mouse, you stupid pathetic loser, don’t you dare do this to me.

DANGER MOUSE
I love you.

Danger Mouse walks out of the door.

JAYNA
Yeah, well you have one hell of a way of showing it!

Jayna is left, alone in the room.

JAYNA
Wow, just... wow.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. MENANCING HALLWAY - NIGHT

Spork walks down the blood stained hallway, completely out of it. He looks around himself lost in thought.

GIRL (O.S)
I saw what happened, that was really horrible. But, you knew it was going to happen. Matrix always said that Matt guy was a psycho.

Spork turns around to face her.

SPORK
Who are you?

PIRA
The name’s Pira. You don’t usually see me around. I’m mostly hiding. But Matrix protects me.

Pira’s cheeks light up. She is obviously embarrassed.

PIRA (Cont'd)
I sometimes feel ashamed. I can’t even fight my own battles.

Spork nods.

SPORK
I know that feeling, all too well. I can't even fight myself in my own battles when there isn't a battle to be fought with myself.

PIRA
...Right. Anyway, I used to take care of myself. But I failed horribly; just like that one guy said I would. Matrix takes care of me now.

SPORK
Someone had once fought for me.

Spork tries to continue speaking, but cannot.

PIRA
Maybe its time...to start fighting your own battles.

SPORK
You're right. I can’t let anyone else die.

PIRA
Oh, if Matrix died I just wouldn’t know what to do. But I like to think I’d go after his killer and avenge him. But I probably wouldn’t. I’d just look after someone else to protect me. But I’d keep better care of them this time.

Spork stops dead in his tracks as if he has just realized something.

SPORK
Oh my god. I let her go out there by herself. But…I love her. Well not love. I get an erection every time I see her, and I have the urge to masturbate furiously. But that’s all I have now. I have to go after her. You’ve made me realize my full potential. Thank—

Spork looks around, but realizes that Pira is gone. Then he hears footsteps. They belong to Ball Buster.

BALL BUSTER
Hey ugly. Who were you talking to? Your reflection?

SPORK
Where’s Webmistress?

BALL BUSTER
When did I become the ****ing tour guide? That's all you people want anymore, Christ.

SPORK
Where is she?

BALL BUSTER
Well I really don’t know. But you should watch her. She hangs out with the wrong crowd. Well I guess you already know that, seeing as how she hangs out with you. But she usually doesn’t give anybody the time of day. She must really like you. But you know what they say. There really is no accounting for taste. And by the look on your face I’d say you screwed over big time.

Ball Buster kicks Spork in the groin.

BALL BUSTER
YOUR BALLS HAVE BEEN BUSTED!

Spork gets down on his hands and knees, powerless, as if his testicles just got ripped from his scrotum.

Master Chief

08-06-2005, 10:12 PM

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. EMPLOYEE’S ONLY DOOR

Matt swings a huge axe at the locked Employee’s only door. The lock breaks and falls to the floor. Matt Throws the axe down and looks back at the handle of the door. We focus on the door handle. Then back to Matt’s face, the handle reflecting in his sunglasses. Again back to the handle.

Danger Mouse comes from behind Matt. His long black robe follows him as he walks toward Matt. His fists curl up into little balls. His long mullet hair bounces as he walks.

DANGER MOUSE
Matt, don’t do this.

Matt turns around to look at Danger Mouse and starts laughing uncontrollably. The halls echo with sounds of his mechanical laughter.

MATT MURDOCK
Don’t you see, my young pupil? This is what we’ve been waiting for. All our answers lie behind this door.

DANGER MOUSE
You don’t know what lies behind that door. Look, Matt you made a mistake. Everybody makes mistakes.

Matt shakes his head, and an awkward look of recognition looms over him.

MATT MURDOCK
No. Normal people make mistakes. I make catastrophes.

DANGER MOUSE
Look, so what if you killed a guy, it's all cool! But I’m your apprentice, man. I’m your flesh and blood. LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matt Murdock shakes his head.

MATT MURDOCK
If you came here to fight me, do it. I don’t want to waste time talking about it.

Danger Mouse approaches Matt, ready to fight. But before he can do or say anything, he is thrusted against the wall. The force of the push and the impact of the wall quickly causes him to lose consciousness.

Matt Murdock looks unbelievably at the scene laid before him. Webmistress stands over Danger Mouse’s unconscious body, with a long ass katana sword of her own in hand.

MATT MURDOCK
How the **** did you do that, he was trained by me!

WEBMISTRESS
That’s right. I bet your ass probably didn’t think about how much it would piss me off if you killed our last remaining hope of learning anything about this place. You thought you could walk away, with only having to worry about your halfassed apprentice here. Guess what? You were wrong.

MATT MURDOCK
Webby…

Webmistress stops. Her blood runs cold down her veins. Her eyes become distinctly golden. This time she most definitely is growling.

WEBMISTRESS
Where did you hear that? How did you know to call me that?

A thick lump grows in Matt’s throat.

MATT MURDOCK
Well, you know how it is. Your name is Webmistress, so Webby, you know, seemed like an obvious enough acronym.

WEBMISTRESS
You sick bastard. YOU SICK, SICK BASTARD. YOU SICK BASTARD. BASTARD. SICK. YOU BASTARD. YOU SICK, SI--

MATT MURDOCK
Ok, enough. I get it.

Webmistress takes her katana and raises it up above her head. Matt slowly picks his katana up from the floor, never taking his eyes off Webmistress. There's a wide side shot, showing their silhouettes. Matt puts his other hand on the sword. They're both in different stances, Webmistress with the Katana straight out, and Matt with the Katana over his head. We then focus on the door handle. We focus on Webmistress, the sword in front of her face, her breathing heavy. We focus on Matt’s face, his eyebrows spread over his eyes in a look not of horror, but of sheer determination.

Matt keeps his one hand on his sword, but uses the other to slowly reach to open the door. Webmistress takes a step forward as Matt’s hand gets closer and closer to the handle. Matt’s hand now has a grip on the door. Still keeping his eyes focused on Webmistress, Matt slowly opens the door. Webmistress relaxes her muscles, aware of what’s about to happen next. The door creaks, and opens itself up.

For awhile, the both of them just stand and stare at each other. Then Matt bolts for the door, and Webmistress comes charging at him full-swing, keeping her sword high up in the air. She screams as she comes running at him, and Matt takes off, scared as hell.

She slashes at him, cutting through his coat. He keeps running as she keeps swiping, missing him by inches but mostly slicing air. They come to the end of the hallway. Matt suddenly stops, his feet dragging with him as he does so. His mouth drops. Webmistress comes from behind, ready to take advantage of the situation, but then stops herself.

They are at a huge, colossal library. Spiral staircases seem to lead up to a never ending twisty turn full of nothing but books. The books stretch out to eternity, only seeming to end at the black and white tile roof where a chandelier sits, ready to collapse. On the floor beneath them books lie scatted out all of the place, and empty bookshelves on wheels lie around, waiting to be uncovered.

Matt and Webmistress walk about the strange, surreal setting, keeping both their katana swords steady in their hands. Their footsteps make echoes on the floor as they walk about the place, ready and keenly alert. Matt keeps his eye glued on the area around him, not entirely sure of what was waiting around the next corner.

As he does this he is unaware as Webmistress jumps on a bookcase flips in the air and kicks Matt straight across the face. They both land on there sides on the hard floor awaiting them.

MATT MURDOCK
B**ch!

As Matt Murdock gets up, Webmistress has already started running up the stairs toward the final floor.

Matt Murdock grabs his Katana, and notices the top half is completely ripped off.

MATT MURDOCK
What the ****, I ordered this from Japan!?

Matt Murdock throws the Katana on the floor and pulls out a mini-grappling gun. He aims the grapple towards a support-beam.

MATT MURDOCK
Badass. **** yeah!

Matt Murdock presses a stud on the mini-grappling gun, and a hook shoots out racing towards the support-beam. The grapple latches on, and Matt Murdock pulls with extreme force; the support-beam breaks, and comes crashing towards the direction of Matt Murdock.

MATT MURDOCK
Holy sh--

Matt Murdock jumps out of the way, as the beam crashes to the ground. He stands up, and starts rubbing his neck.

MATT MURDOCK
What the ****...?

Matt Murdock looks around the room, totally confused.

MATT MURDOCK
God damn, I'm just surrounded by cheap ****!

Matt Murdock looks upwards, noticing Webmistress on the second floor. He quickly sprints up the stairs, four at a time. Soon he reaches the top, to find it secluded. He cautiously walks around, expecting an attack from every and any way. Webmistress comes from out of nowhere yelling and swings her sword at Matt. But he grabs the blade bare handed. Blood drops down the floor. Webmistress slides the sword across his hands. Matt bends the sword so hard it flips out of Webmistress' hands, into the air, into Matt's hands, where he then skillfully points it at her throat with great and precise speed.

Webmistress backs up, knowing that Matt has gotten the better of her. Instead of contemplating the victory, Matt grabs a case packed to the brim with novels of all sorts and sends it flying towards her. She ducks and kicks the book case back Matt’s way. Matt jumps out of the way as the bookcase goes flying off the edge and down a long trip the the ground.

Matt grabs another bookcase and throws it at her. Again she kicks it back, and again the bookcase goes flying down to the floor below with a massive crash. Matt swings the sword in the air like a drunk pirate. As he is doing this Webmistress hurls a bookcase of her own at Matt. Matt ducks out of the way, crouches down and thrusts the sword into Webmistress’s knee. She winces but quickly recovers, but not in time. Matt hurtles another book case at her.

She cannot escape this one. The bookcase topples over her, and she falls to the floor, the weight taking her completely down. She tries to throw it back but is not strong enough. Her arms fall to her side, and she gives up.

Matt looks down in terror at what he has done.

MATT MURDOCK
What's wrong with me?

WEBMISTRESS
You are a ****ing looney!

Matt bends down to pick her up and save her from her entrapment. He takes all his strength, and lifts the book case up over his head. It falls like the others down to the floor three flights under them.

MATT MURDOCK
Are you okay?

Webby responds by quickly getting up and sticking her venomous fingernails right in his face. He tries to say something to save himself, but it is too late. He screams in terror as Webmistress increases her grip on his head. Then she grabs him from the back of the hair, and pounds his face into the cement.

He screams louder now as Webmistress pushes him into the tiles below.

WEBMISTRESS
I feel just fine. How are you?

He tries desperately to pick himself up but realizes that her strength is too great. He screams in pain. His fists pound on the floor.

Webmistress puts her mouth real close to Matt Murdock’s ears.

WEBMISTRESS
I want you to know it was me who did this to you. I want you to know you got beaten by me, the girl you always had a hard-on for. I hope that you wake up every day, reliving this moment, reliving this pain.

Matt takes his hand, and grabs her by the knee that he stabbed her in. He puts intense pressure on the wound, forcing her to fall over and let go of him wailing in pain.

She lands hard on the ground. She tries to pick herself up, but then realizes that she no longer can. Matt gets himself up so that he can look at her.

Matt’s face is now horribly scarred and disfigured. Blood and white goop droops down his face like it was painted by some kind of sick porno director.

Then Matt looks at her, just lying there on her back (noticing her breasts mostly). And he begins to realize what he’d been lying to himself about for all these years. He was losing his humanity everyday. But she was the pinnacle of everything that Matt loved, that he cared about. Now he had betrayed her and there was no way he could make it up to her. Tears flow down his disgusting looking face.

MATT MURDOCK
Why’d you come after me, Webby? Why’d we have to do this to ourselves?

Webmistress stares at Matt, horror enveloping her. Yet something else, something strange seems to be controlling her now.

MATT MURDOCK
Did you think that you could avenge me somehow? I mean, you don’t even know me! I mean, at least not anymore. So why, why did you come after me? Is it because of those people on the plane? Do you even realize what was on the plane?

Mat falls down. He is tired; exhausted. The tears now really begin to flow.

MATT MURDOCK (Cont'd.)
After all these years, Webby, all these years and I’m still the pathetic loser you said I was.

Webmistress looks at him. Now the tears begin to flow on her eyes, but for some reason she cannot even understand or comprehend.

Matt picks himself up, and stand over her. Then he bends down and picks her up, his shoulders already tired from lifting the wait of the bookshelf.

As he carries her in his arms, she says nothing. He jumps off the ledge and the both fall down, Matt’s long trench-coat outstretching itself as they land down on the floor below them with a tremendous thud.

He walks now, and she is still in his arms and for some reason she wants to stay there as much as she wants to get out of there.

Books rain down on top of them. Matt walks down the blood stained floors that they came from and takes them down to the opened door, promising the familiar and the still unanswered.

Webmistress looks up at Matt.

WEBMISTRESS
What are you doing?

MATT MURDOCK
I’m saving you, stupid.

WEBMISTRESS
You just put a sword through my ****ing knee!

Matt smiles sadly and puts Webmistress down on the outside of the door. Webmistress barely manages to pick herself up, the wound from Matt’s sword aching across her kneecap. Matt looks at her, and, even when the battle scars are still obvious, gets immediately lost. Webmistress stares at his face in disgust.

WEBMISTRESS
(disgusted)
Eeeh, but who’s going to save you?

Matt Murdock sighs.

MATT MURDOCK
I probably wouldn’t do half the things I do if I had that answer.

And with that Matt closes the door that stands in between them, and uses the same axe he had used to unlock it to now relock it.

Matt smiles at Webmistress through the window of the door, and walks away.

Webmistress’s smile disappears as Matt leaves from her sight. She pounds her fist on the glass.

WEBMISTRESS
Matt!!! MATT, YOU BASTARD!!

Matt turns around, waves. Then he mumbles something, and Webmistress roughly lip reads "I love you." Before he walks into the rain-pile of books that awaits him. Webmistress shakes her head at both of their fortunes, and their stupidity.

FADE TO BLACK

TEXT: This is the last Webmistress heard from Matt for a long time.

FADE IN
INT. THE EXALTED’S CHAMBER’S - NIGHT

The Exalted’s throne room is now a mess. Blood and piss is now covered about the floor like the remnants of a Marilyn Manson concert. The Exalted sits on his throne, pondering.

Just then the door opens. Out from the darkness appears Danger Mouse. He has an angry face on, perhaps forever.

THE EXALTED
WHY HAVE YOU COME HERE? TO RIP OFF VARIOUS BODYPARTS OF MY INCOMPETENT SUBJECTS? ‘CAUSE YOU MISSED THE LAST GUY.

DANGER MOUSE
I have come seeking to learn the ways of love and peace.

The Exalted rises from his throne.

THE EXALTED
YOU JEST!

DANGER MOUSE
I have nowhere else to turn. Please, I would never have gone to you if my situation wasn’t so desperate.

The Exalted sits back down, and gets himself comfortable.

THE EXALTED
GOOD. WELCOME TO THE MOVEMENT, MY NEW YOUNG APPRENTICE... YOU SHALL BE KNOWN AS: DARTH DANGER.

Danger Mouse grimaces.

DANGER MOUSE
Yes, master.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT

Spork runs through the hallway, but he has to stop and take his inhaler. After he takes a few puffs and looks up in front of him, he sees Webmistress slouching next to the “Employee’s Only” door. His face shoots up into a smile.

SPORK
Webmistress! You’re okay!

Webmistress notices Spork, gets up, and throws him against the wall.

WEBMISTRESS
What have you been hiding from me?

SPORK
Ok, so I stole your birth control pills, I didn't know you needed them I swear! Just calm down, take a breather!

WEBMISTRESS
No more games! What was on the plane?

Spork’s eyes shoot up at the sound of this question. He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

SPORK
Who told you?

WEBMISTRESS
Told me what? Tell me what was on the plane.

Spork made a motion like she needed to back up a few spaces. Then, reluctantly, he tells her.

SPORK
Crystal Meth.

FADE TO BLACK

HYPE: THE SERIES

SapphirePrima

08-06-2005, 10:32 PM

that was cool.

Master Chief

08-06-2005, 10:33 PM

You read all that in less than half an hour? :eek:

SapphirePrima

08-06-2005, 10:35 PM

yeah, I'm a fast reader. That was like what 15 book pages?

SapphirePrima

08-06-2005, 10:46 PM

thanks. I mean how long would it take other people to read it.

Socrates

08-07-2005, 08:05 AM

JAYNA
Look, he’s a lost cause, like that script that guy never got around to editing once—

Thanks for the recognition there. :-/

And thanks for editing, I appreciate it. :up:

Master Chief

08-07-2005, 11:27 AM

Gotta hand it to JJ, I just wanted to add a lost cause jab at something.

The Last Meatbag

08-07-2005, 01:23 PM

kick ass

Mr. Thing

08-08-2005, 01:40 PM

I'm the bully :up: :D

Socrates

08-09-2005, 09:48 AM

Perhaps you could center the whole thing...

Great story, btw. :D

The Last Meatbag

08-09-2005, 10:53 AM

Awesome, this is ****ing great, loved the part with MC

TEDDY

08-09-2005, 01:36 PM

I am so... COOL!!!:cool: So when do I send Spork off to save the TEDDIES?

Master Chief

08-23-2005, 12:46 AM

All right, episode 5 should be up tomorrow.

DOG LIPS

08-23-2005, 01:53 AM

Stupid SPORK changed his name. :mad:

Master Chief

08-23-2005, 01:54 AM

...Well, he'll always be Spork. Unless we decide to factor in some big change where he turns into Meatbag. :confused:

Master Chief

08-23-2005, 07:25 PM

EPISODE 5: THE ADVENTURES OF BALL BUSTER AND ROBIN

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. PIPE-WAY – CONTINUOUS

The Hype’s winding pipe-ways are huge and empty. Mice crawl about the place, eating whatever they can find. Sitting cross legged in the middle of the desolate and cold area is Hippie Hunter, a horrific image in the middle of the sewer-like structure he is centered in. He is dressed to the brim in a secret military ninja outfit, sort of like Snake in Metal Gear Solid 2, only with a cool looking cape.
He pushes a button on his helmet and a pair of binoculars slides over his eyes. What looks like a smile appears on his face, but then after a while it becomes obvious that it is a grin.
In front of the Hippie Hunter is a vent. It is rusty and old, and mold appears to be growing on it. A mouse nibbles its way in front of it.

INT. HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

Ball Buster walks down the hallway, confident and sure of himself. He walks down the hallway in a hurry as a ferret runs past on the side of him, also in a hurry itself. Ball Buster runs his hands over his face and looks around each corner wondering what the hell he has gotten himself into this time.
Walking down the same Hallway is Danger Mouse, his hair bobbing up and down as he walks down the hall. His long robe follows him. Ball Buster does not look pleased to see him. Danger Mouse does not gaze at the other man but only bumps into him and shoves him out of the way.

BALL BUSTER
Don’t think I don’t know about you and The Exalted!

Danger Mouse freezes dead center.

DANGER MOUSE
What?

BALL BUSTER
You can lie to Jayna but you can’t lie to me. I have eyes in the back of my head, and in other, more disturbing areas as well.

DANGER MOUSE
If you tell her I’ll slit your throat, and more than just your balls will be--

BALL BUSTER
Busted, yes I know. You people think you’re so clever. I've heard that one already. Today!

Danger Mouse pushes Ball Buster against the wall.

DANGER MOUSE
What I do with my time is none of your business. Just whose side are you on anyway?

BALL BUSTER
The same you’re on: my own.

DANGER MOUSE
I'm not on your side.

BALL BUSTER
What?

DANGER MOUSE
You said I'm on the same side you are, your side.

BALL BUSTER
No, I said... what? I said I'm on my own side, as in by myself.

DANGER MOUSE.
Oh.

BALL BUSTER
Yeah.

DANGER MOUSE
Well, I suggest if you want your side to prosper you keep your mouth shut about me and The Exalted, do you understand?

BALL BUSTER
No I don’t think I do. I thought you hated the Exalted.

DANGER MOUSE
And I thought you hated life. Why haven’t you killed yourself yet?

BALL BUSTER
Maybe I have. I'm watching you, punk.

Ball Buster sticks up two fingers and points both to his eyes, then towards Danger Mouse. Ball Buster starts laughing until Danger Mouse knees him in the crotch, and he doubles over in pain.

DANGER MOUSE
Why don’t you go watch somebody else?

BALL BUSTER
GOD DAMN! GOD DAMN! I THINK YOU JUST PUNCTURED MY NUTS. Oh GOD IT'S BLEEDING. Wait no that’s just this red pen. My bad, all good.

Danger Mouse walks away and Ball Buster leans against the wall, then slides down it. The ferret comes over to Ball Buster.

BALL BUSTER
Man, I need to get out of here. Everyone hates me, even the people that don't. But at least I got you, right man?

Ball Buster gestures to the ferret, the ferret nibbles at his hand.

BALL BUSTER
Ah, that’s cute. You want to eat me.

The Ferret begins to go away from Ball Buster, it almost looks like he is motioning for Ball Buster to follow him. Ball Buster tries to stand up.

BALL BUSTER
Where are you going, little fella? My god, did I just say “fella”? My God, am I talking to myself?

Ball Buster chases after the squirrel. He chases the squirrel down the corner and stops, his heart beating fast. In front of him is a little boy clad in a disturbing spandex suit. He is sound asleep. Ball Buster stops, considers, and finally goes over to wake him up.

BALL BUSTER
Hey little guy! Hey little S&M guy!

The boy wakes up scared, his face full of cold sweat.

BOY
The TOADS! The toads are coming to get me!!!

BALL BUSTER
What, toads?! Where?!!?

The boy calms down and looks around assessing the situation. When he seems to have finally gotten a hold of the situation he still seems scared.

BOY
No, it was just a dream.

BALL BUSTER
Oh, good.

BOY
Now who are you and how the hell did you find me?

BALL BUSTER
Haven’t you heard kid? I’m the fashion police, and Michael Jackson wants his suit back.

Ball Buster points to the Boy’s red and yellow spandex suit.

BOY
My name’s Robin, but you’re not supposed to know that.

BALL BUSTER
And my name’s Ball Buster, but I don’t think you should know the full meaning of that for another 10 years.

ROBIN
Hippie Hunter is going to come after me. You should get out of here.

BALL BUSTER
Hippie-hunter?? Why, are you smoking pot and having free sex? That would explain the outfit.

ROBIN
Hippie Hunter hates me because I broke one of his gadgets.

BALL BUSTER
His penis? 'Cause I'm an expert on them, and his has always been broken.

ROBIN
Why?

BALL BUSTER
I did some movies when I was younger, uh...um, nothing I’m too proud of.

There is a silence as Ball Buster looks at the kid uncertainly.

BALL BUSTER
You could…come with me.

ROBIN
Really? You’d protect me from Hippie-hunter?

BALL BUSTER
Yeah, of course. But only because I don’t have anything better to do.

ROBIN
Thank you so much! You’ll protect me, and fight him for me, won’t you?

BALL BUSTER
Don’t push it buddy.

Ball Buster walks down the hallway, and Robin and the Ferret follow him.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. CAR – DAY – 1993

Michael, the artist-now-known-as-Ball Buster, sits in the car with his friend, Matt Murdock. Matt is wearing a Jurassic Park T-shirt.

MICHAEL
I just don’t understand it man. My sister wants me to baby sit her kids, but I can’t stand kids!

MATT MURDOCK
I don’t see what your problem is with kids. I get along with them just fine.

MICHAEL
You beat up the one fat kid last time we went to the park.

MATT MURDOCK
Okay, first off, I hate fat kids who whine, and second, so I have my not good moments, but in the end they're gone and I have nothing to worry about. Don’t worry yourself about this.

MICHAEL
Too late for that, I’ll probably get them killed before the end of the day. Oh crap what time is it? I’ve got to go to work.

MATT MURDOCK
Where did you say you worked again? I couldn’t make it out clearly the last time you said it.

MICHAEL
…I’m an ice cream dealer.

MATT MURDOCK
An ice cream…dealer? What?

MICHAEL
Yeah, they are very successful on the black market nowadays.

MATT MURDOCK
What?! I have all this ice cream in the trunk in a cooler and what if the co--

MICHAEL
I was kidding!

MATT MURDOCK
Oh.

Michael gets out of the car and runs down the street to his own car that awaits him next to the big brick building.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. DANTE’S ROOM – DAY – THE PRESENT

Dante’s going through his stuffed animal collection as he hears Danger Mouse enter the room. Dante stops what he is doing and looks at Danger Mouse.

DANTE
Hey what’s going on... and stuff.

DANGER MOUSE
Not much. You?

DANTE
Nope. So you're like, all Darth and stuff now.

DANGER MOUSE
Yeah.

DANTE
…do you want to play dolly?

DANGER MOUSE
What?

DANTE
I got all the stuff, so if you want to play dolly its all right here.

DANGER MOUSE
I don’t feel like playing dolly.

DANTE
Oh, one of those kind of days huh? I understand.

DANGER MOUSE
Okay...

DANTE
Look man, you can fool the Exalted but you can’t fool me. I know that you can’t stand me or him, or any of us. So why are you here? You say its to protect your girlfriend but for some reason I don’t think that’s why.

DANGER MOUSE
No, it is why. And is that a beanie baby?

DANTE
Yeah you want it?

DANGER MOUSE
Are you kidding? I love those things.

Danger Mouse walks over to Dante’s collection and picks up one of his beanie babies.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HALLWAY

Ball Buster, Robin and the ferret walk through the hallway. Robin’s cape flows behind him as he walks with them.

ROBIN
Where are we going? Are we there yet?

BALL BUSTER
My god; shut the hell up and walk with me you f**king pussy.

ROBIN
What's a pussy?

Ball Buster looks up ahead and sees something.

BALL BUSTER
This is it.

The come to a ventilation shaft. Ball Buster opens the shaft door to reveal several old and valueless pieces of junk. Ball Buster looks at it with satisfaction brimming its way though his face.

ROBIN
What is that man doing to that lady?

BALL BUSTER
I keep most of my stuff here: some deodorant, some porno, some more porno…and my gun, and more porno... and... you get the point.

ROBIN
...What is that man doing to that man?!?!

Ball Buster reaches in to the vent to grab his gun. There is a gigantic explosion of flames that engulfs the shaft, sending Ball Buster flying several feet before he hits the wall behind him. His hand is burnt into ash and he looks around frantically, completely confused. He notices his porn burned.

BALL BUSTER
My porn!!

Robin begins to scream at the top of his lungs, and the ferret runs away down the hallway, fleeing for its life.
The smoke clears and a dark, gothic figure of horror appears. It is Hippie Hunter and he looks extremely pissed off. On his back rests a scythe, ready to be pulled off at any second. He jumps out of the clearing and onto the white floor, his black army boots making a tremendous clunk sound as he does.

HIPPIE HUNTER
The boy. You will give him to me now; or you will DIE.

Hippie Hunter’s voice is stark and jagged. It is not as if it was hidden by the mask. The mask seemed to make it in a way more terrifying than Ball Buster could have imagined.
Ball Buster tries to speak but blood flows out of his mouth in buckets as he does so. The blood drips to the floor making it an even bigger gooey mess. Ball Buster stares at it in an unbelieving manner, and tries to speak again.

BALL BUSTER
How about I take the boy and you go f**k yourself. Is that okay with you, you gay pedo--

Ball Buster tries to say something but instead coughs blood onto the floor.
Robin shakes his head in fear at Robin. He doesn’t want to go back there with him. He is pleading to Ball Buster without even seeming to say a word.

HIPPIE HUNTER
I’ll take that as a yes.

Hippie Hunter grabs robin as the boy continues to scream and he jumps back through the hole of smoke, his cape flowing behind him.
Ball Buster sits there against the wall as blood flows down his cheeks. He begins playing with his thumbs and whistling something inaudible.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. OFFICE – DAY – 1993

Michael who would one day become the enigma known as Ball Buster falls over in exhaustion and lets out a long sigh. He picks up a copy of playboy and flips through it rather uninterestedly. Then he turns to Men’s Health Magazine a giant bulge grows in his pants.
Above him someone was complaining.

MR. THING
Yo b**ch I gotta do my scene and ****.

MICHAEL
You’ll do it later; I have to go take care of my nephews. Besides, why are you even here? What are you, like, 9?

MR. THING
No's dude I’m 6.

MICHAEL
Right. Santa Claus isn’t real.

Michael gets up and leaves the office leaving Mr. Thing on the verge of tears. Michael peeks back in.

MICHAEL
Neither is the easter bunny.

EXT. STREETS - DAY

Michael walks down the streets outside his office building whistling to himself. An angry hobo grabs Michael by the ankle and forces him downward. Michael tries to shake him off in a disgusted manner, eventually he kicks the hobo in the face.

ANGRY HOBO
Not the face you f**king b**ch, not the f**king face you whore! It's all I have!!

MICHAEL
I'm so sorry!

ANGRY HOBO
It's ok.

MICHAEL
No, I'm really, really sorry!

ANGRY HOBO
It's ok. I know you.

MICHAEL
And you appear to like me a little too much.

ANGRY HOBO
You’re an a**hole. You’re nothing but a damned a**hole. Everyone hates you. Except of course for your little friend; that Matt Murdock. He doesn’t know you yet. Not really.

MICHAEL
Look, whoever you are, you’re kind of freaking me out.

ANGRY HOBO
Your life will be nothing but insults and bribery. Do you really want it this way?

MICHAEL
Yes, I think I do. Now get the hell out of my way you homeless prick.

And with that Michael walks off, bitter and angry.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HALLWAY – DAY – PRESENT

Ball Buster still lies against the wall, the blood still dripping its way out of his mouth. He looks around blankly. He tries to move his leg, but nothing happens.

BALL BUSTER
GOD DAMNIT!!! Can’t you make anything go right anymore?

Then from the smoky hole an attractive woman jumps out, landing with a thud onto the ground. She is wearing a hospital doctor’s jacket and glasses. Ball Buster looks up at the ceiling and raises his arms in forgiveness.

BALL BUSTER
Finally!

WOMAN
What?

BALL BUSTER
Nothing.

The woman kneels down and examines the blood on the floor. Then she takes Ball Busters jaw in her hands and reaches into her coat. She withdraws a handkerchief and wipes off the blood that remains on Ball Buster’s chin.

WOMAN
Your jaw is pretty banged up. He got you good. Can you move your legs?

BALL BUSTER
I think I can. Who are you?

WOMAN
My name is Chain Reaction. The man who just knocked you senseless was Hippie Hunter. He has taken your little friend. I need that kid back. I want you to help me. I'm going to inject you with some morphine.

Ball Buster looked at her as she sticks a needle in his leg, and then looks at the gigantic hole in the wall behind her. He began to wonder how the hell he got himself in this predicament in the first place. He could get out of here. He could run back and enjoy a peaceful day, and forget about this whole incident and just live out in ignorance. But then what? He had nothing to do, and more likely than anything Danger Mouse and the Exalted were keeping taps on him, and so was Webmistress. So he would go and see if he could find this kid, even if the whole thing seemed like it was going to wind him up in a lot of unnecessary trouble. Besides, this Chain Reaction chick was pretty hot, and the morphine was making her hotter.

BALL BUSTER
Okay. I’ll help you.

Ball Buster tries to get up but as he does so a sharp pain shoots through his side, he just laughs. Chain Reaction grabs him and puts him back down on the ground.

CHAIN REACTION
You’re in no condition to move right now. We need to get some stitches on you.

BALL BUSTER
Hee hee, I'm mmmk! Robin could be suffering excruciating amounts of pain without us! Hee hee.

CHAIN REACTION
Robin?

BALL BUSTER
That’s the kid’s name, harh. At least, that’s what he told me his name was. And was I the only one who found his spandex suit extremely... sexy. I mean, disturbing?

Chain Reaction pulls out a box of band aids from her purse.

CHAIN REACTION
Chew on these.

Ball Buster looks confused and happy.

BALL BUSTER
Where’d you get that purse from?

CHAIN REACTION
Purses? Purses are just the beginning. Come with me.

And with that, Chain Reaction stoops down and picks up Ball Buster in her hands.

BALL BUSTER
This is kind of weird. This is very weird. Ooo purty.

CHAIN REACTION
Don’t be a dumbass. I don’t think you’re in any kind of condition to walk, and if you take one little step out of line Hippie Hunter will find us right away.

BALL BUSTER
I still feel like such a b**ch.

Chain Reaction rolls her eyes. Still holding Ball Buster in her hands, she jumps through the wall and into the winding pipe-ways of the hype.

INT. PIPEWAYS

Rats run rampant on the ground as Chain Reaction carries Ball Buster (who is giggling) through the dank brick-way as water drips down on top of them. They continue until the get to a huge puddle. Chain Reaction walks through it, as Ball Buster wiggles about in her arms nervously. They continue walking until the get to a door. Chain Reaction gently puts Ball Buster down and walks over to the door.

CHAIN REACTION
This is it.

BALL BUSTER
This is what?

CHAIN REACTION
The place.

Ball Buster stares at Chain Reaction's ass.

BALL BUSTER
Did anyone ever tell you have a terrific ass? Hee, can I touch it?!

Chain Reaction ignores this last comment and kicks the door open. It falls off its hinges.

CHAIN REACTION
This is where Hippie Hunter is.

BALL BUSTER
Terrific. Well let’s just bust in there and kill him, I got me man stick and pint! Fight to the end, whoO! Take that you bastard!

Chain Reaction shakes her head.

CHAIN REACTION
We have to get past his security system first.

BALL BUSTER
What security system?

This question is quickly drowned out by a quick succession of machine gunfire. Chain Reaction leaps in the air out of the way. The bullets continue to fly for around five minutes before the machine gun finally stops. The ground is now riddled with bullets and Ball Buster stares dumbly at it all.

BALL BUSTER
What security system?

CHAIN REACTION
Do you think you can stand up? I really don’t want to carry you again.

Ball Buster fights control of his body and, after a while of struggling, finally stands up. He nods his head and Chain Reaction points her arm at the bullet riddled room behind the ravaged door that rocks itself dumbly on the ground.

CHAIN REACTION
After you.

BALL BUSTER
You want to see my ass, don't you?

Chain Reaction kicks Ball Buster through the door, as he leads the way he limps into this strange new room. Blue lights appear to be coming from every direction. It's like a techno rave on speed and acid without the people. He keeps walking until he gets to the barren wall. Ball Buster stares at the wall.

BALL BUSTER
I demand you to move!

Then there is a flash, and Ball Buster loses consciousness as he falls to the ground.

---------------

In the process of editing the second half.

The Last Meatbag

08-23-2005, 07:28 PM

Alright. Im kicking your ass DL :mad:

Master Chief

08-23-2005, 07:30 PM

Read the first half of the episode and praise my American Psycho reference. :mad:

The Last Meatbag

08-23-2005, 07:38 PM

I love you forever for it............and why did you die?

Master Chief

08-23-2005, 07:43 PM

I committed e-suicide, then with nothing better to do decided to hop out of my body bag.

The Last Meatbag

08-23-2005, 07:44 PM

What do you mean?

Master Chief

08-23-2005, 07:47 PM

I killed myself on the internet, two days go by and I'm bored with real people, so I came back. :confused:

The Last Meatbag

08-23-2005, 07:49 PM

Like asked the mods to ban you?

Master Chief

08-23-2005, 07:52 PM

No, just arranged my Hype profile to look... dead.

I'm not banning this account ever though, unless I do something huge and nasty. :o

SapphirePrima

08-23-2005, 08:07 PM

So what's the next part about?

Master Chief

08-23-2005, 08:16 PM

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE – DAY – 1993

Michael enters the home of his sister as she moves to the doorway in a hurry with what Michael liked to refer to as her “current a**hole boyfriend of the month”. His sister grabs her keys, kisses Michael on the cheek and goes to the door.

MICHAEL’S SISTER
Now remember, take good care of my children.

MICHAEL
Hey you know me! Children like, flock to me. And stuff.

MICHAEL’S SISTER
Goodbye. We’ll be back by 8:00; don’t screw anything up.

And with that she left. Michael walks into the living room and sees the three children he had to take care of. The one named Cindy was currently pulling the one named Todd’s hair. The other one, Samantha, lay on the couch.

MICHAEL
Hey kids!

All of the kids stop and stare at Michael.

MICHAEL
Well take care. I’m going upstairs to watch television. And stuff. There's uh, beer in the fridge I think. And uh... I'll just be upstairs and stuff. So, uh, laters.

Michael walked up the stairs as the two children recommence pulling each other’s hair, and Samantha walks to the fridge.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. DUNGEON ROOM – DAY – PRESENT

Ball Buster wakes up with a great pain greeting him on his back. He tries to move around but he cannot. When he looks around he realizes this is because he is tied up. Across from him is Robin, also tied up and looking at the ceiling for some sort of answer. Robin looks around at Ball Buster and sees that he is awake. His eyes open up wide.

ROBIN
Ball Buster! You came to rescue me!

Ball Buster sighs and tries to struggle out of his rope.

BALL BUSTER
Oh, hi. Where are we? Why are we tied up? Is this some sort of gay thing?

ROBIN
No Hippie Hunter has us in this torture room. He’s a real spaz. He keeps muttering something about the building wanting to take his soul, and something about Max Shrek.

BALL BUSTER
Max Shrek? That’s the guy in the hockey mask right? I thought Matt Murdock killed him.

ROBIN
Look I don’t know. I just try to stay out of trouble. There are a lot of weirdoes that hang around in this place.

Ball Buster laughs at this.

BALL BUSTER
Yeah, and there’s two of them in this room. I can’t speak five minutes without saying something that makes me sound like I’m a goddamn a**hole, and you have a very disturbing spandex fetish.

ROBIN
I do not!

BALL BUSTER
Nice suit by the way. Who made it, Liberachi?

Robin frowns.

ROBIN
My suit is just fine.

BALL BUSTER
Maybe if you were a circus clown it would be.

ROBIN
I hate you.

BALL BUSTER
I should start charging people to say they hate me, I’d be rich.

ROBIN
I should start charging people to say they love me, I’d be rich.

BALL BUSTER
Yeah good look with that.

ROBIN
With what?

BALL BUSTER
Becoming a prostitute.

ROBIN
What's a prostitute?

Chain Reaction comes in the room carrying an AK-47 in her hands. Ball Buster breathes a sigh of relief.

BALL BUSTER
It’s about damn time you came and saved us.

ROBIN
What are you talking about? She’s not going to save us; she’s Hippie Hunter’s biatch!

BALL BUSTER
Kid, do you even know what the word b**ch means?

ROBIN
Biatch!!

At this point Chain Reaction take the liberty of pointing her gun at Ball Buster’s head.

BALL BUSTER
Oh, f**k me.

CHAIN REACTION
I wouldn’t dream of it.

BALL BUSTER
Everybody’s a comedian. So why, may I ask? Why on Earth would you drag me here?

VOICE
Because we need you.

And then out from the shadows emerged Hippie Hunter, looking slightly less pissed than last time. Chain Reaction walks over to him, slides his mask off, and kisses him passionately. Robin gags.

BALL BUSTER
Always nice to be wanted.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Cut the sarcasm Ball Buster. It won’t work on me.

BALL BUSTER
It wasn't sarcasm! How the hell'd I get myself into this anyway?

HIPPIE HUNTER
Because you are a lonely man. You have a deep bitterness inside of you. That is why I chose you.

BALL BUSTER
Oh wonderful. And what exactly did you choose me for?

HIPPIE HUNTER
You will be the first to test my Anti-Hippie beam.

After this there is a long uncomfortable silence. Then Ball Buster begins to laugh uncontrollably.

BALL BUSTER
Ant-Hippie Beam? BWAHAHA! I’m sorry—oh my god! The irony is just, oh hAHHAHHAH!!

Ball Buster’s laughter echoes throughout the dungeon. Robin starts laughing too. Hippie Hunter however, does not find anything funny at all about this.

HIPPIE HUNTER
What irony?

BALL BUSTER
Oh right, like you're 'not' a hippie.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Laugh all you want. In less than an hour, you will both become the first to be fried to death.

BALL BUSTER
Overcompensating much?

CHAIN REACTION
Oh please. Look whose talking, “Ball Buster”.

HIPPIE HUNTER
QUIET, BOTH OF YOU! Now, Ball Buster, you and the child will wait here for your deaths. Chain Reaction, I need to talk to you in private. Now.

Hippie Hunter leaves the room and Chain Reaction follows him. Ball Buster and Robin are hanged from the ceiling on the ceiling with tight rope. They sway silently.

BALL BUSTER
Wow, can you believe that a**hole?

ROBIN
I told you, total spaz.

BALL BUSTER
I bet he just wants a quickie.

ROBIN
What's a quickie?

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE – DAY – 1993

Michael who yes is really Ball Buster stood in the middle of the living room, a gigantic mess of glue and spilt soda/beer lying behind him. The door opened and in came Michael’s sister and her hubby.

A**HOLE HUBBY
What the hell did you do to the living room?

Michael grimaces.

MICHAEL
Well, the kids and I were really having a lot of fun making paint projects and so some of them might have got a little carried away.

Expecting to get slapped, Michael readies himself. Instead Michael’s sister runs up to him and kisses him on the cheek.

MICHAEL’S SISTER
You painted with the children? How thoughtful of you! I thought you would just go upstairs and watch television, and not even bother with them!

MICHAEL
(relieved)
Well, that would be rather negligent of me, wouldn’t it?

The sister’s boyfriend, still angry at Michael, moves out of the way so he could get to the door. Michael was just on his way out of the door when his sister stops him.

MICHAEL’S SISTER
I love you.

Michael smiles

MICHAEL
Of course you do.

The door closes, and Michael hangs his head in shame.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. ANTI-HIPPIE DEFENSE ROOM –DAY – PRESENT

Hippie Hunter walks into his Anti-Hippie Defense Room, where this is a tie-dyed wall and a lot of pot. An assortment of weapons and gadgets are on every wall and in the middle of the room is his Anti-hippie beam. It is a huge beacon that looks oddly like a telescope only with a sharp pointy end. Chain Reaction follows Hippie Hunter into the room. She appears lost and confused.

CHAIN REACTION
Hippie Hunter, what--?

HIPPIE HUNTER
I really wish you wouldn’t do that in front of our guests. You embarrass me.

CHAIN REACTION
Do what? Kiss you?

Hippie Hunter turns his head away from her. Chain Reaction throws her hands up in the air in disbelief.

CHAIN REACTION
I love you. Don’t you love me?!

HIPPIE HUNTER
Love has nothing to do with it. I wanted to have Ball Buster scared s**tless. Your little stunt didn’t help any.

CHAIN REACTION
What the hell are you talking about? I love you god-damn-it!

Hippie Hunter sighs.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Well, I guess there’s nothing either of us can do about that. I’m going to start up the beam. Don’t get in my way.

Hippie Hunter walks away, and Chain Reaction stares at the floor saddened.

INT. DUNGEON ROOM

Robin and Ball Buster are still hanging from the ceiling. Robin begins to mess with his hands.

BALL BUSTER
What are you doing?

ROBIN
I’m trying to untie this rope so we can get out of here.

BALL BUSTER
Oh, right. That’s a good idea. Keep doing that.

Ball Buster swings uncomfortably as Robin slowly get his rope untied. Finally Robin has freed himself from the rope and he drops down to the floor. He walks over to Ball Buster to untie his rope as well.

BALL BUSTER
You know what kid, you’re actually pretty cool. Now let’s get out of here.

Ball Buster and Robin run out of the room like banshees out of hell. They run down a brick hallway until the duck into another door, this one green and ominous.

INT. MONITOR ROOM

In this room that Ball Buster and Robin have entered is a series of monitors over on the desk. Ball Buster is shocked to see that the monitors overlook every area of the hype, including several areas that he had never even seen before. On the monitors are various people Ball Buster knew. On the left monitor Danger Mouse was talking to the exalted, on the right monitor Matt Murdock was walking through the hallways of the other side, and on another Spork was getting things hurtled at him by what looked like a teddy bear. And on the screen closest to them they could see Hippie Hunter walking into a gigantic telescope, flipping buttons on some kind of machine.

ROBIN
What the hell?

BALL BUSTER
He’s watching everything. Hippie Hunter’s watching everything! He’s got hidden cameras in every single room in this building. That cheeky bastard! He even has a camera in here!

ROBIN
What’s that one?

Robin points to a monitor that is watching a red chamber room. Inside the room lava appears to be coming from the ground. Ball Buster doesn’t know what that one is, and he doesn’t want to find out either.

BALL BUSTER
We have to find a way out of here.

Ball Buster looks about the monitors for an exit out of the area they were at. As he is doing this Robin touches a red button.

ROBIN
Oops.

BALL BUSTER
What did you do?

But before Robin can answer him the wall begins to move as if it is a door or some kind of window. As the wall slides open they see a gigantic room outside them, full of planes and cars. What appears to be a tank is in the back, and what looks like a helicopter is right next to it. Ball Buster and Robin stare in awe.

BALL BUSTER
Jesus, I haven’t seen a car in…

Ball Buster drifts off in thought.

ROBIN
We have to get down there. I think we can jump.

BALL BUSTER
If you think I’m jumping down there you’re on more crack than I thought you were.

Ignoring Ball Buster’s comment Robin jumps out the opening and lands onto the floor below them. Ball Buster rolls his eyes and tries to get ready as he hurls himself out the “window” and falls head first onto the floor.

INT. VEHICLE ROOM

BALL BUSTER
Son of a b**ch.

Robin steps over Ball Buster, who is now just lying there, and walks over to a Van that has a peace symbol with a red no symbol painted over it. Robin opens the door to the van and looks inside. Inside are complicated controls and one of those overhead computers like they had in the X-Wings in the first Star Wars. This is the Antihippiemobile.

ROBIN
Cool!

Robin opens the car to get in but as he does Ball Buster shoves him over to the shotgun seat and takes over the anti-hippie steering wheel.

BALL BUSTER
You’re not old enough to drive yet, hooligan.

ROBIN
Ah, man!

BALL BUSTER
Wait a minute, how DO you drive this thing?

As Ball Buster looks around the car trying to figure out how to drive it, there is a loud thud. Ball Buster looks up to see Hippie Hunter, pissed, on top of the car and staring down at the windshield.

BALL BUSTER
Oh s**t.

ROBIN
Drive! Drive now, b**ch!

Ball Buster looks around frantically at the controls. Before he can even do anything Hippie Hunter fist comes crashing through the windshield. Hippie Hunter lurches forward and grabs Ball Buster by the throat. Ball Buster panics and starts to choke. Robin, scared and shocked desperately pushes the first button he can find. Suddenly the radio starts blasting Cher at full volume. Hippie Hunter gets distracted by it and releases his grip on Ball Buster’s neck. Ball Buster uses this opportunity to punch Hippie Hunter in the face. Hippie Hunter does not be appeared to be marred at all by the punch and reacts by punching Ball Buster in the face, breaking his nose. Robin pushes another button. There is a loud noise of gun fire as two machine guns appears on top of the van and start firing at the wall. This does no good as Hippie Hunter is nowhere near the wall. Hippie Hunter continues to beat the **** out of Ball Buster. Robin now pulls a switch and the van begins to start up. There is a hum as the engine roar becomes louder and louder. Hippie Hunter is still beating the life out of Ball Buster. Robin begins to punch Hippie Hunter in his side. This begins to annoy Hippie Hunter to no end and as he turns over to wallop Robin in the face, Ball Buster grabs a hold of the steering wheel.

BALL BUSTER
Take this you crazy son of a b**ch.

Hippie Hunter turns over to Ball Buster and the car begins to move. Ball Buster drives at full speed, and soon Hippie Hunter loses balance falls off the car and onto the ground. Ball Buster pulls the van back, and then he runs Hippie Hunter the hell over.

BALL BUSTER
YOUR BALLS HAVE BEEN BUSTED!

The anti-hippiemobile continues to move at full speed as it crashes through the wall and into the tightly crammed sewer-like pipe-ways of the Hype.

ROBIN
Whoa, that kicked ass! You’re the best dad I’ve ever had, ever! You’re awesome!

Ball Buster looks in the mirror and sees that on a motorcycle following closely behind them is Chain Reaction, looking furious.

BALL BUSTER
Shut up, kid.

Robin frowns. Ball Buster turns a corner as they zoom through various puddles. Chain Reaction is following them very closely, and is now approaching the side of their van. She jumps off the motorcycle and gets on top of the van. Her motorcycle goes flying and finally explodes as it crashes against the brick wall behind them.

ROBIN
Um, that’s not good is it?

BALL BUSTER
No, I don’t think so.

Just then a sword comes flying down through the top of the van so it just misses Robin and Ball Buster.

ROBIN
Okay I know that’s not good.

Robin gives the roof a solid punch. He then grimaces and shakes his fist as he realizes that maybe wasn’t a good idea. The sword comes flying through the place where Robin just punched and it comes so close to Robin’s face that he can almost feel it. Ball Buster sees this and freaks out.

BALL BUSTER
GET AWAY FROM HIM!

Ball Buster turns and smashes the car against the wall. Then he goes sideways and bangs it against the other wall. Chain Reaction remains on the roof, keeping her grasp firm steady. Ball Buster continues down the pipe-way when suddenly he sees they are heading for a dead end.

BALL BUSTER
You have to be kidding!

Ball Buster hits the brake but it is too late. The van smashes into the wall and Chain Reaction goes flying. Fire erupts in the front of the van. Ball Buster pushes his way out of the door, blood dripping down his forehead. He crawls down on his hands and knees, and finally just collapses onto the floor. Robin comes flying out of the other door, his arms flailing like a lunatic.

ROBIN
Oh crap I think I’m on fire!

Ball Buster grabs Robin’s cape before he runs any farther. Standing in front of Robin is Chain Reaction, who looks extremely angry.

CHAIN REACTION
You…you killed the only man who ever loved me. For that, you deserve whatever I—

But Chain Reaction stops there as Ball Buster punches her in the face. She lurches backwards and then falls down. Ball Buster helps Robin stand up. Robin wipes the dirt of his face.

ROBIN
Your balls belongs to me now, you silly b**ch!

BALL BUSTER
No, no, that would be just wrong.

ROBIN
Ah man.

BALL BUSTER
Well. Let’s get out of here.

ROBIN
But where can we go? You saw it yourself. Wherever we go, Hippie Hunter will be able to know exactly where we are.

Ball Buster sighs.

BALL BUSTER
True, but I think I know one place where he won’t follow us. You still want to find out what that room is?

ROBIN
Sure.

Ball Buster grabs a hold of Robin’s shoulder and they walk down the passageways of the Hype. And somewhere in the shadows, someone is watching them.

FADE TO BLACK

HYPE: THE SERIES

Matthew_Murdock

08-23-2005, 10:55 PM

bumpage

ObakeTora

08-23-2005, 11:31 PM

Name: Obake Tora

Past History: Interdimensional Counterpart to space pirate Black Tiger.

Powers: Through strength augmentation a processed used to compete in the games, Obake Tora can lift press 20 tons. He can also invade people's minds, because he (was) possesed by a psychic gang leader known as Kanashibari~(who he killed.) ObakeTora can also morph into a weretiger (at will), where he can lift 75 tons. His interdimensional counterpart BlackTiger cannot control the beast or the possession by Kanashibari.

Survival techniques: skilled fighter, can possess and read minds, can morph into a weretiger and seduce any woman he wants..

http://myspace-941.vo.llnwd.net/00201/14/92/201192941_l.jpg

Master Chief

09-20-2005, 12:02 AM

EPISODE 6: LOVE AND PEACE PART I

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. THE EXALTED’S NOT-AT-ALL-SECRET THRONE ROOM – DAY
Danger Mouse enters the throne room of the Exalted. The Exalted looks particularly pleased with himself.

THE EXALTED
WELL, MY YOUNG APPRENTICE, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?

DANGER MOUSE
Just fine.

THE EXALTED
WHAT WAS THAT?!

DANGER MOUSE
Oh yeah... uh... 'My Lord'.

THE EXALTED
GOOD. NOW, I HOPE YOU CAN ASSIST ME WITH SOMETHING.

Danger Mouse forces back a grimace.

DANGER MOUSE
How may I serve you, your holiness?

The Exalted now appears more relaxed and at ease. He points to the wall.

THE EXALTED
Well, I can’t decide whether to paint the room blue or pink. This dark gray color just isn’t doing us any favors you know. It's so... bleak. And passe.

DANGER MOUSE
Of course, my—

THE EXALTED
Oh stop that ****. Max always used to do that. I hate to tell you this, but I’m glad that guy’s dead, even though I still find it highly unlikely some bozo like Matt could have killed him.

INT. MAX’S OLD ROOM
Teddy bears are stuffed all along the room that used to belong to Maximus. The fountain that Max had placed in the middle of the room was now surrounded with unicorns. This room had become Dante’s storing room. On his bed Dante is playing cops and robbers with two bears and an octopus.

DANTE
I’m gonna shoot you, evil octopus! Damn your 12 legs! Or is that a squid?

BANG!

A loud noise is heard and Dante suddenly looks up from his game. He puts the octopus down and steps forward, not completely sure of himself.

DANTE
Who’s there?

There is no reply. Then:

VOICE
Rape-rape-rape...... Jack-jack-jack

Dante is now scared, and he clutches his favorite teddy for protection.

DANTE
What? Who is it? Come out where I can see you.

Again there is no reply. The silence is intense. Dante walks a little closer to the fountain. The fountain seems to start, as if by it-self.

VOICE
Rape-rape-rape..... Jack-jack-jack

DANTE
What? You want me to rap? But I’m no good at rapping!

VOICE
No, I don’t want you to RAP.

Then out of the shadows a man appears wielding a machete. It takes us a while to recognize him, for now he is not wearing a mask. His face looks old, as if it has worn far too thin. It is horribly scarred, and looks as if it has been used as a human toilet seat.
Dante’s look turns to one of shock, and then he looks on in horror. He drops the teddy on the bed.

DANTE
Max…

The monster comes closer to Dante, and then grabs him by the shoulders.

MAX SHREK
Yes...

Then Max’s hands leave Dante’s shoulders and work up to his neck.

MAX SHREK
I’m back *****.

Then he grabs Dante by the hair, and rips off his head. Blood flows from Dante’s head into the fountain. Max then grabs his machete, and cuts through the rest of his body, letting it shatter to pieces.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
EXT. POLICE STATION – DAY – 1985
Several police cars are parked in a near-perfect manner outside the police station. Stepping out of one of them in a long leather jacket is MAX SHREK, strong, black and muscular. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out a lighter. Bending down, he strikes the lighter on the ground, creating a small fire. Again reaching into his jacket he pulls out a small bag and a piece of paper. He rolls the joint, and then lights it using the fire on the ground. This is his daily routine.
Footsteps are heard coming off from the background. Max frantically stomps out the fire and puts out his joint by shoving it up his ass. A look of pleasure resonates across his face. The footsteps stop and Max turns around to see his beautiful Asian girlfriend, Tata Boo Ti. Max grabs her and pulls her in to him.

MAX
Hey honey, how’s it going?

TATA
Don’t you lie to me! I saw you go to that gay striper joint last night!

MAX
Aw, Tata, so what if I like some of the penis too? I mean, I can’t always be batting for the home team. Sometimes I got to play on the other side, and then **** everybody on the other side. But don’t worry baby, I’ll get to play on your side soon.

TATA
Oh baby I like your way of words.

MAX
And I like your lack of words. Let’s have super erotic sex.

Max tries to throw Tata on the roof of a nearby police car but Tata stops him.

TATA
Wait…

MAX
What is it?

TATA
I’m pregnant.

MAX
Me too!

TATA
No, I'm really pregnant.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. THE BLUE ROOM – DAY – PRESENT
Jayna is sitting in the middle of her kick ass blue room reading “Green Eggs and Ham” when there is a noise outside the door, as if some rat was trying to steal a piece of cheese.

JAYNA
Danger Mouse, is that you?

There is no reply. A man appears shadowed by the lights of the room. An axe is held firmly in his right hand. He says nothing.

JAYNA
Danger Mouse? I know you're trying to steal my cheese, you can just forget it!

The man continues to say nothing. He walks up to Jayna, thrusts his axe in the air and then swings it into her face with one violent throwing motion.

FADE TO WHITE
FADE IN
INT. THE BLUE ROOM – DAY
Jayna wakes up, sweat covering her face and her blankets. She shivers. She was trying to sleep, but it didn’t work. She looks around and with a shock sees danger mouse standing in the doorway, this time carrying a box of chocolates in his right hand. He smiles at her.

DANGER MOUSE
Bad dreams?

Jayna blushes, pulling the sheets closer to her.

JAYNA
No…I mean, yes.

Danger Mouse walks up to her and puts his hands around her shoulders.

DANGER MOUSE
Well you have nothing to fear now. I’m here.

Jayna puts her arms around Danger Mouse’s back and hugs him tightly.

JAYNA
I’m sorry. I’m weak and stupid, I know. It’s just sometimes I fear that the Exalted or one of his cronies are just going to show up when you’re not hear.

Danger Mouse quickly withdraws from Jayna’s hug at these words and his face becomes grim and solemn. Jayna stares at him, worry seeping its way into her thoughts.

DANGER MOUSE
You have nothing to fear. Besides, the Exalted really isn’t that bad of a person.

Jayna’s stare becomes quizzical.

JAYNA
What do you mean?

DANGER MOUSE
Well, you know, the guy preaches Love and Peace. That’s not exactly horribly evil is it?

JAYNA
No, but he’s constantly trying to kill us, and for some reason I think that qualifies. Danger Mouse, is something wrong?

DANGER MOUSE
No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just…you have nothing to worry about Jayna. Nobody is going to hurt you.

JAYNA
(Sighs)
I know.

Jayna sits down Indian style and frowns.

JAYNA
I’m being silly, aren’t I?

Danger Mouse bends down to greet her eye-level.

DANGER MOUSE
No, you’re not. You worry, everyone does that. But you don’t have to let that control you, okay?

JAYNA
But I do worry and I worry about you! Why are you just forgetting the fact that your master went psycho and left? You have a…a two minute psycho trip and then suddenly your calm again! What’s going on, DM? What aren’t you telling me?

Danger Mouse looks away, ashamed of himself. It looks as if he is about to reveal everything, as if he is about to crack. Then he forces himself to look back at Jayna and replies calmly.

DANGER MOUSE
There is nothing I am not telling you.

Jayna stares at him, aghast and in shock.

JAYNA
Is that so?

DANGER MOUSE
Yes. I would never, ever lie to you.

JAYNA
Then what’s on your mind?

Danger Mouse stands up, and looks out into the hallway to make sure nobody is looking into their room. Then he shuts the door and turns to Jayna.

DANGER MOUSE
Jayna, I want you to listen to me and listen to me close. Nothing I say to you can leave this room.

JAYNA
Oh brother, we have enough cliches going on! What is it?

DANGER MOUSE
I was going to kill the Exalted by infiltrating him from inside his group. At least, that was the original plan.

JAYNA
What do you mean, inside his group?

Then a sudden shock realization comes to Jayna.

JAYNA
You joined his clan?

DANGER MOUSE
Yes but only so I could find things out that he wasn’t telling us. After Matt Murdock died, I wanted to blame it on him. I wanted to blame it on the Exalted.

JAYNA
So this was your plan? Why didn’t you tell me?

DANGER MOUSE
I figured they would be keeping tabs on me. And I wasn’t entirely sure how you would react.

Danger mouse sighs.

DANGER MOUSE
The Exalted has nothing. I couldn’t find one single secret plan, one single other plot of his own inside his head. In fact, I’m beginning to think the Exalted truly believes he is campaigning for love and peace. Plus, he seems a bit metrosexual.

JAYNA
What are you going to do then?

DANGER MOUSE
I…don’t know anymore. I was going to kill the Exalted, it would have been easy. But now I see what he’s like, and he’s not the horrible evil dark lord that we are making him out to be. Looks like just an act.

JAYNA
Well how do we know its not all some gag? How do we know he’s not pulling the wool under your eyes?

DANGER MOUSE
We don’t. But right now I think something worse is coming. And maybe…maybe we’ll be safer if we align ourselves with the Exalted. If I’m wrong, if the Exalted is as bad as we originally thought then I’ll leave, and I’ll do what I have to do. I have to know though. I just have to know.

Jayna looks at Danger Mouse, uncrosses her legs and stands up.

JAYNA
Then let me come with you.

INT. TRAINING ROOM - DAY
Altered Ego stands above Webmistress as she crouches on the floor, her knife in her hand firmly at the ready. He looks kind of like Fonzie.

ALTERED EGO
Eeeeeyyyyy!!!!

WEBMISTRESS
Would you cut that out? I’m trying to train here. Are you staring at my ass?

ALTERED EGO
How many times have I told you, I’m gay.

WEBMISTRESS
Why do I feel that’s a deliberate way for you to make a pass on me?

ALTERED EGO
I don’t know baby, why don’t you tell me in the back…with your clothes off.

WEBMISTRESS
Do you have any tact? Like, at all?

ALTERED EGO
Sure I got plenty of tic-tacs. You want one?

Webmistress sighs and shakes her head. Altered Ego frowns.

ALTERED EGO
You shouldn’t have mentioned it then. Contrary to popular belief, it is not just a breath mint.

WEBMISTRESS
No way!

Suddenly Webmistress stops what she’s doing, throws Altered Ego over to the wall and puts her hand over his mouth.

ALTERED EGO
(muffled)
Hey I’m all for foreplay but…

WEBMISTRESS
Quiet! Someone’s coming.

They hold their position for several minutes and footsteps begin to be heard by both of them.

ALTERED EGO
She doesn’t want to hurt you, she just wants your help.

WEBMISTRESS
What are you talking about? Be quiet, will you!

ALTERED EGO
She can be an ally to us. Dark times are approaching.

WEBMISTRESS
Quiet, before I beat the **** out of you like nobody’s business! It could be the Exalted!

ALTERED EGO
The Exalted is not the one you should worry yourself about now. A greater force is preparing itself for its entrance.

WEBMISTRESS
I really don’t have time for this.

Webmistress punches Altered Ego in the face and he falls to the floor unconscious. As she does this she stops cold as she senses a force behind her.

VOICE
Who are you? Tell me your name.

Webmistress turns around. Standing behind her is a fairly attractive girl threatening a semi-automatic towards Webmistress. We recognize this girl as Chain Reaction.

WEBMISTRESS
My name is Webmistress, and if you value your life you’ll put that gun down.

Chain Reaction does not flinch at these words and continues to hold the gun steadily. Instead, she just smirks.

CHAIN REACTION
What are you going to do, Webmistress? Nice fingernails, by the way.

WEBMISTRESS
I grew them out. I find it makes me look more foreboding.

CHAIN REACTION
Actually it just makes you look like some chick in an 80s music video, but whatever.

WEBMISTRESS
What do you want with me?

CHAIN REACTION
I need help. My boyfriend has gone psycho, and I have nowhere else to turn.

WEBMISTRESS
What makes you think I’ll even try to help you?

CHAIN REACTION
Because I know more about what’s happening out there than you do. I know that if we don’t act fast, we will soon all die.

WEBMISTRESS
That’s wonderful, but again, why should I even listen to you?

CHAIN REACTION
I’m holding a gun.

WEBMISTRESS
And you think that makes you have more precedence over me? You’re a nice lady, really, but you’re also a moron.

Chain Reaction raises her eyebrows.

CHAIN REACTION
You think you can take me?

WEBMISTRESS
No. I know.

Chain Reaction looks at Webmistress, and then puts down her gun.

CHAIN REACTION
Okay, but I can still stay with you.

WEBMISTRESS
Whatever. At least you're better company than this guy.

Webmistress points to Altered Ego who lies passed out on the floor. Chain Reaction walks down the hallway as Webmistress reluctantly picks up Altered Ego and hoists him onto her shoulder. She follows Chain Reaction as they walk through the hallway in silence.

INT. THE EXALTED’S THRONE ROOM - DAY
The Exalted sits in his throne looking rather agitated. Standing in front of him is a very familiar looking glowing specter of evil. It is the ghost of Die Valuectic.

DIE VALUECTIC
You never cared about me! You always valued Max more than me, and look where that got you? Now he’s coming after you. You should have valued me more. That’s why when you die you’ll be rotting in the same hell that I—

THE EXALTED
OH, PLEASE. I’M A GOD, I REALLY DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS GUILT TRIP UNDEAD BULL****. JUST TELL ME WHERE MAX IS AND WHAT HE IS UP TO.

DIE VALUECTIC
He’s after revenge! And he’s coming after you. Payback is a *****, and trust me I’ve met her.

THE EXALTED
YEAH, BUT WHERE IS HE?

DIE VALUECTIC
He’s freeing the monster, and sending it after you. He will become the monster’s master and make it do little jigs for him!

THE EXALTED
OH BALLS, YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT LUMBERJACK AREN’T YOU? DAMN, I HATE THAT GUY. ALLRIGHT GO BACK TO WHATEVER LEVEL OF HELL YOU CAME FROM.

DIE VALUECTIC
Wait, I’m not finished yet! You’re going to suffer pain so unimaginable--!

Die Valuectic disappears and The Exalted sits in silence.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. CITY STREET – NIGHT – 1986
Fog drifts about the street corner, causing it to illuminate like a b horror movie. Standing in the middle of this odd drift is Obake Torra and his cronies who are dressed in full ninja attire.
Behind them a figure starts to move closer to us. We zoom in and see it is Max Shrek, his long leather coat trailing behind him as he walks in a slow motion entrance.
Obake Torra stares at Max as his long cape trails behind him.

OBAKE TORRA
Hello Max.

MAX SHREK
Hello weird foreign dude.

OBAKE TORRA
I hear you’re getting married. To an Asian. And that she has your baby.

MAX SHREK
Is that a problem?

OBAKE TORRA
Yes, I’m extremely racist while having no other clear motivations.

MAX SHREK
Cool. Are those henchmen?

OBAKE TORRA
Actually yes. HENCHMEN ATTACK!

Two of Obake’s henchmen unsheathe their very long and sharp samurai swords and come running at Max at full speed. Max ducks as the two of them try to cut off his head and he punches them both in their stomachs. They fall over on the ground and their swords going flying in the air. Max summersaults upwards and grabs one of the swords. He spins in the air and lands on the cement. The other sword makes a squishing sound when it lands in the face of the henchmen on the left.

MAX SHREK
And now Obake, we fight.

OBAKE TORRA
I think not Shrek my friend. Now we engage in a highly stylized martial arts chase sequence.

Obake turns around and starts to run. Soon his feet leave the ground and he flies off into the sky like Peter Pan. He stops when he gets to the roof of the office building closest to him.

OBAKE TORRA
Let’s see you do that, AHAHA!

Max runs forward and flies in the air as Obake did before him. Obake takes off and flies to the next rooftop. Max follows him, watching him at every second. Obake stops and climbs down the wall with his feet firmly planted on the side of the wall.

MAX SHREK
I DON’T THINK SO *****!

Max climbs down the side of the wall and jumps forward like a spider monkey and wraps his legs around Obake’s neck. Obake continues to walk down the side of the wall as he gasps for air. The two of them fall down the building and before they make their final plummet Obake sees something interesting in the garbage chute that awaits their fall.

OBAKE TORRA
Pure-gu-ru?

And with a huge thud Max and Obake fall into the chute and the lid closes in on them.

Master Chief

09-20-2005, 12:03 AM

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HYPE PIPEWAYS – DAY – PRESENT
The Hippie Hunter watches from his pipe-ways. His stealth suit now has several holes and scratches in it, and there is a particularly disturbing stain on his crotch area. He watches as he always did, only now with not as much of a comfort as once before. Now he was nervous, and frankly scared. But he dare not show it. He would not hide from anyone or anything, no matter how powerful they were. He sat, he waited, and he watched.

INT. HALLWAY – DAY
Chain Reaction led Webmistress down the hallways until they stopped at a corner. Altered Ego’s unconscious body bobbed up and down on Webmistress’s shoulders. Exasperated, Webmistress threw him down against a wall and sighed.

ALTERED EGO
OW!

WEBMISTRESS
You were supposed to be unconscious.

ALTERED EGO
C'mon, the view of your ass from there was extraordinary!

WEBMISTRESS
I'd assume so from that prick of an erection poking my shoulder!

CHAIN REACTION
Who is this guy anyway?

WEBMISTRESS
It doesn’t make any difference. He’s a friend.

CHAIN REACTION
Do you typically beat up your friends this way or this is some sort of special occasion?

ALTERED EGO
No, she does it all the time. Who the hell are you?

Webmistress casts a snarl at Altered Ego.

WEBMISTRESS
I don’t know, you tell me.

ALTERED EGO
What’s that supposed to mean?

WEBMISTRESS
Before she showed up you were prophesizing that she would help us.

Altered Ego frowns and appears a bit shocked.

ALTERED EGO
Really?

WEBMISTRESS
Yes, you were.

ALTERED EGO
Sorry, reflex. But really who is she?

CHAIN REACTION
Who I am doesn’t matter at this point. What does matter is that you take care of your lives.

WEBMISTRESS
With all due respect, I do think we can take care of ourselves.

CHAIN REACTION
Not from what’s coming.

WEBMISTRESS
I think I can take care of your little boyfriend.

CHAIN REACTION
It’s not my boyfriend I’m worried about.

WEBMISTRESS
Then who is it? Your daddy? Your uncle? Sweet cousin Ricci from across the street?

CHAIN REACTION
Someone you know. Max Shrek.

Webmistress gives Chain Reaction a blank stare.

WEBMISTRESS
You mean one of the Exalted’s henchmen? But I thought Matt killed him.

CHAIN REACTION
No, he is very much alive. He’s angry, and he’s going after you and the Exalted. He won’t stop until he’s had full revenge.

ALTERED EGO
What a minute, you guys aren’t talking about that retarded guy in the hockey mask are you?

Webmistress ignores this comment.

WEBMISTRESS
Look I don’t care how powerful this guy suddenly got, I can take him.

CHAIN REACTION
No you cannot. Do not be foolish. If you go after him now he will kill you.

WEBMISTRESS
Not if I kill him first. Look, thanks for the heads up but please tell someone who gives a damn. Besides, if he wants vengeance on the Exalted, I say we let him.

CHAIN REACTION
The Exalted is not as bad a person as you make him out to be.

WEBMISTRESS
No he isn’t. He’s worse. He’s a god, no not even; he’s a demi-god. Nothing can stop him, and with us he hasn’t been using the full extent of his powers. Once he regains them, we will not be able to fight him. Nobody is that powerful.

CHAIN REACTION
Well I tell you Max is. And he’s going to kill the Exalted, and then he’s going to come after you.

WEBMISTRESS
Let him. I’m ready.

CHAIN REACTION
You are not ready!

Webmistress grabs chain reaction and picks her up with one hand, reaching her up five feet off the ground.

WEBMISTRESS
Care to test that theory?

ALTERED EGO
Whoa, whoa what are you doing?

Webmistress again ignores Altered Ego.

WEBMISTRESS
You say that we cannot fight him. Then what do you propose? We hide?

CHAIN REACTION
It’s the right thing to do.

WEBMISTRESS
And wait for what? Who’s going to save us?

CHAIN REACTION
Hippie Hunter will. He always does.

ALTERED EGO
Hippie Hunter? What kind of retarded name is that?

At this point Webmistress puts Chain Reaction down. Reaching over she punches Altered Ego in the face rendering him unconscious. Again.
Webmistress looks up at Chain Reaction glumly.

WEBMISTRESS
You think this Hippie Hunter is going to save us, huh? Is he your boyfriend?

Chain Reaction is struck dumb. She doesn’t know what to say.

WEBMISTRESS
Well I want you to listen and listen well. Hippie Hunter is not going to protect you. I will, whether you want me to or not. Is that perfectly understood?

CHAIN REACTION
So what, you think your some kind of heroine, is that it?

Webmistress looks down at Altered Ego passed out on the floor.

WEBMISTRESS
No, I don’t.

INT. THE EXALTED’S THRONE ROOM
Jayna and Danger Mouse jog through the throne room hurriedly. The Exalted stands up and gets out of his chair and walks down the steps very calmly.

DANGER MOUSE
Okay Exalted, no more bull****!

THE EXALTED
FEAR ME AND MY BULL****!

DANGER MOUSE
Dude, seriously, you are tired and worn out, give it up, Batman’s Head rules all of you

THE EXALTED
FOOL, DO NOT BRING UP THAT OBSCURE REFRENCE OF A PANCAKE DEALING AVATAR! BESIDES, WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS NOW. MAX SHREK IS COMING, AND HE’S GOING TO KILL ALL OF US.

JAYNA
The retarded guy in the hockey mask?

THE EXALTED
YES THE GUY IN THE HOCKEY MASK!!!!!

DANGER MOUSE
But he was retarded. And I think he might have been gay.

There is a long silence as all three of them shuffle about uncomfortably.

THE EXALTED
ANYWAY WE’RE LIVING ON BORROWED TIME. RIGHT NOW HE IS FREEING LUMBERJACK AND ANY SECOND HE COULD BE COMING AFTER US.

INT. MAXIMUM SECURITY CHAMBER – DAY
In the center of a cage is a man wrapped around in a yellow blanket. You wouldn’t think it now, but if you examined closely you could catch faintly the taste of blood that fulfilled his body. This man was a murderer and killing people was the only thing he was good at. Nobody was better than him.
Then he opened his eyes and he saw, standing outside his long standing jail cell a man in a hockey mask. And for the first time in his life the captive murderer felt intimidated. Then the hockey mask reached towards the jail cell and ripped it open. With a loud crack the bar separating the two murderers had fallen upon the floor. The man in the blanket sat up on the bench behind him and looked up at the murderer in the hockey mask.

LUMBERJACK
YOU BROKE MY WALLS!!!!!

MAX SHREK
I’m setting you free, Lumberjack.

Lumberjack looks confused.

LUMBERJACK
Why?

MAX SHREK
Because I need your help. You see, I have very many people to kill and very little time.

Lumberjack didn’t understand a lot of things, but this he understood perfectly. He stood up.

LUMBERJACK
Okay, I was getting bored anyway.

Lumberjack moved to leave and Max politely stepped out of the way.

MAX SHREK
After you.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HOSPITAL – NIGHT – DECEMBER 14th, 1986
Max ran through the hallways of the hospital, his long leather jacket trailing behind him as he did so. He runs from room to room looking for the right one. Finally he stops and sees it. The love of his life, Tata Boo Ti was giving birth to their first baby. Max felt a supreme sense of pride wash over him. He had tried so long but he was finally going to have a son, someone he could teach, someone he could pal along with.
His wife was going into labour. She was moaning loudly. The doctors came and pulled it out. Max went over to see what it was in anticipation, but when he saw what he saw a horror found its wriggling way inside his skull.

MAX SHREK
OH MY GOD IT’S WHITE!!!!

FADE TO BLACK

TEXT: 1 hour later

FADE IN
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM – NIGHT
Max sits down beside Tata’s hospital face, looking down in shame at his white baby. There is long silence.

TATA
Well what are we going to do?

MAX SHREK
I don’t know.

There is another long period of silence.

TATA
What are we going to name it?

Max frowns and looks down at the baby again. A mess of goo covers his face. Max snarls at the baby and the baby begins to cry. Max now for the first time seems incredibly determined.

MAX SHREK
We’ll call him Mr. Thing, since he isn’t even a real person.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HALLWAY – DAY – PRESENT
Webmistress and Chain Reaction walk through the hallway at a fast pace. All of sudden Chain reaction looks back and grabs Webmistress by the arm. Webmistress is not amused.

WEBMISTRESS
What is it?

CHAIN REACTION
What about your friend?

WEBMISTRESS
What about him?

CHAIN REACTION
Well we can use him in battle can’t we?

Webmistress raises one eyebrow.

WEBMISTRESS
Not likely.

CHAIN REACTION
Look, there’s something…different about him. He was looking at me funny.

WEBMISTRESS
Probably sizing you up. If you ask him he’ll say he’s gay, he does the same **** all the time.

CHAIN REACTION
How did he know I would be coming?

Webmistress snarls.

WEBMISTRESS
I don’t know.

Behind them the voice of Altered Ego carries.

ALTERED EGO
Kill, KILL!

Webmistress and Chain Reaction look at each other. Webmistress sighs and they go back and run down to Altered Ego. He’s going into convulsions.

WEBMISTRESS
Oh Christ, not again.

ALTERED EGO
Die, Die….going to die…

CHAIN REACTION
Who’s going to die?

ALTERED EGO
Your mom. AHA--!

Webmistress slaps Altered Ego as hard as she can with the back of her hand.

WEBMISTRESS
She asked you a question. Who’s going to die?

ALTERED EGO
The one who defends their lover. BOOYAH *****ES!

And with that Altered Ego passes out on the floor again.

INT. THE EXALTED’S THRONE ROOM
Jayna stands against the wall. Next to her is Danger Mouse, who is talking to The Exalted.

THE EXALTED
Have you decided on which color we should paint the walls?

DANGER MOUSE
I think there are more pressing matters on hand.

THE EXALTED
Oh. Right.

Mas Shrek walks into the entrance and stands as a shadowy figure, holding a machete glimmering with crimson. The Exalted looks up from Danger Mouse to Max as he lunges at Danger Mouse and stabs... Jayna, who jumps in the way.

HYPE: THE SERIES

Master Chief

09-20-2005, 09:10 PM

Let's kill deeze beeches.

Matthew_Murdock

09-20-2005, 09:16 PM

Let's kill deeze beeches.
:confused: Actually I'm going to take great pride in killing off more characters, but its not like i havent been doing that every other episode.

The Lumberjack

09-20-2005, 11:05 PM

I'm gonna make a hat out of Master Chief's head.:yellow:

SapphirePrima

09-22-2005, 06:36 PM

Are you guys gonna kill me off :( Anyway that was really good! :up:

SapphirePrima

12-03-2005, 06:44 PM

Where's the update? :mad: :( Socartes you said you were going to update like a week ago. I've been gone and I was expecting a update :mad:

danielisthor

12-03-2005, 06:52 PM

Name: DanielisThor

Past History: On a strict need to know basis

Super Powers (if any):When you learn them, it'll be too late.

Survival techniques: Personal bodyguard and sex slave for Monica Bellucci.

Socrates

12-03-2005, 06:54 PM

Where's the update? :mad: :( Socartes you said you were going to update like a week ago. I've been gone and I was expecting a update :mad:

Eh, I don't know when I'll be finished with it. :confused:

Hopfully soon, though. Because I've become really annoyed with editing this episode. :(

SapphirePrima

12-03-2005, 06:56 PM

Ohhhh :(

Red

12-03-2005, 07:00 PM

Name:God
Past History:Creating earth
Super Powers (if any):some
Survival techniques; Belief

Master Chief

12-03-2005, 07:21 PM

Ohhhh :(

Remember my little jab, that Jayna says? Something along the lines of "It's a hopeless cause. Like that script that never got finished." Yeah. You're in for a very long wait. :o

Socrates

12-03-2005, 07:27 PM

I actually finished that script, but then you posted your edit. So I didn't see a reason to post mine. :o

Master Chief

12-03-2005, 07:34 PM

It took me around fifteen minutes while watching TV and tossing up ideas with JJ, and I only did it 'cause he asked me like, what, after you had over two weeks or so? :confused:

Socrates

12-03-2005, 08:01 PM

Yeah, but I get bored with editing after a few lines. :o

Master Chief

12-03-2005, 08:05 PM

You should be fired. :(

Socrates

12-03-2005, 08:10 PM

Considering I'm not getting paid, that'd be pretty embarrassing. :o

Alexia Dark

12-03-2005, 10:24 PM

Heh, I totally forgot about this... probably back before I even knew that there was already someone named 'Webmistress' and changed my name...

Wow. She does really sound like Shalimar. LOL. :up:

The Last Meatbag

12-03-2005, 10:33 PM

awesome, the series is not dead :)

rigel7soldiers

12-03-2005, 10:53 PM

Name: JoePip
Past History: As opposed to Dr. fate, an "Agent of Balance," JoePip was once an "Agent of Falling on His Ass," which is about as much fun as it sounds like. After that well ran dry, he's been slumming around Manchest for a few years, falling on his ass. And punching people for no reason. aside from that.. I got nothing.
Super Powers (if any): Can separate into Joe and Pip, identical-looking men (appearing to be in their mid-twenties) who have vastly different personalities and skills, though no real powers. they also wear identical outfits, though in different colors.

Survival techniques: Eh... Either Joe or Pip is prepared to eat the other should they be near starvation.

Master Chief

12-04-2005, 07:06 AM

awesome, the series is not dead :)

It's just frozen 'cause Socrates has his own agenda, and because he gets bored of editing you'll have to wait like a whole 'nother year. :o

Kaleb

12-04-2005, 07:14 AM

so what is this so called ''series'' about anyway huh?

Master Chief

12-04-2005, 07:18 AM

so what is this so called ''series'' about anyway huh?

A transport plane crashes through the roof of a building and two characters are introduced to a whole bunch of other characters in a new world where their individual stories are told through flashbacks. Or something like that.

...Y'know, think LOST. It's pretty much a version of LOST just not on an island, and also not as cool.

Kaleb

12-04-2005, 07:18 AM

oh ok then , cheers for that :)

hippie_hunter

12-04-2005, 03:59 PM

I think this thread deserves a bump

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 09:59 AM

I WILL NOT LET THIS DIE. :mad: I'm sorry its taking me so long to do this, but episode 8 has put me into a gutter, and its just gotten to be so freakin' huge. So, since socrates is nowhere to be found and mc won't aim me anymore, I'm gonna be putting ep seven up. I am now running the series based on the assumption that only i am writing it.

Master Chief

01-28-2006, 10:09 AM

pwned. You brought too many people onto writing it and almost none delivered, you sunk yerself, pwned part deux!

The Last Meatbag

01-28-2006, 10:14 AM

This is the best fan fic of all time, it shall not die.........but Im not going to help writing or anything like that because I cant write worth ****

Master Chief

01-28-2006, 10:16 AM

Socrates is prolly getting a life in school and a house and stuff, he ain't coming back other than check ups for a while if ever. :o But this show started to derail when that stupid body count bulls**t came up. And it is not the best fan fic ever, there are others. :mad:

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 10:25 AM

...

Master Chief

01-28-2006, 10:27 AM

Terrible layout, failure. :(

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 10:29 AM

Master Chief

01-28-2006, 10:35 AM

omg, firstly the whole show was your idea in the first place.

Eh, I wanted it to be like an actual TV show. Weekly episodes, all done in advance. But you decided to just go along with the flow and release them as they were finished. :confused:

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 10:37 AM

Eh, I wanted it to be like an actual TV show. Weekly episodes, all done in advance. But you decided to just go along with the flow and release them as they were finished. :confused: :confused: Okay, honestly, when did you say this to me? and you suck for running out on the show. And for not aiming me anymore. :mad:

Master Chief

01-28-2006, 10:40 AM

I said it last year. :confused: I said, "Hey, let's do a TV show thing. Y'know, write all the scripts then post them weekly. Sixty pages each script." Or something along those lines.

But I don't use AIM anymore anyways, it always signs on/off. I might use AIM on my phone when I'm at school during lunch or something though. :o

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 10:43 AM

Master Chief

01-28-2006, 10:44 AM

I don't use any IM service ever now, pwned.

Immortalfire

01-28-2006, 11:08 AM

Name: Immortalfire
Past History: My own real name forgotten, I am essentially a living flame. On an expedion in the Pacific Cascades, I encountered a bizzare flame in a cave on Mount Rainier. It spoke to me, identifying itself as the Eternal Flame. Having discovered it, I was now to be it's controller; dubbed the Immortalfire. The Flame consumed me, and now it grants me infinite power of fire.
Super Powers: Matchless raw power. Able to throw flaming orbs at opponents, incinerate any substance and create visions out of fire.
Survival Techniques: None specific. The Flame sees that I am cared for.

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 11:43 AM

EPISODE 7: LOVE AND PEACE PART II

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. CAFETERIA – DAY – 1992
A group of young preteen girls are sitting at a table. In the center is a girl wearing gold braces and a nirvana t-shirt. This is young JAYNA, and she’s currently writing something in her notebook. Across from her sit Toven and Zenien who are talking to each other casually. In the background we can see Mr. Thing beating up a bunch of other kids.

TOVEN
What are you writing, Jayna?

JAYNA

Nothing.

ZENIEN
Oh, let me see, I wanna see! Is it a candy bar?

Toven rolls her eyes.

TOVEN

No Zenny, it’s not a candy bar.

ZENIEN

Aw jeez what a jip!

TOVEN
Jayna, are you writing about a guy?

JAYNA

No…well, maybe.

TOVEN
Oh for crying out loud! How many times do I have to tell you people that you can’t get hung up on guys, and that you can only use them for sex!

ZENIEN

What’s sex?

Toven pulls out a chocolate bar from her backpack.

TOVEN

Here Zenien, have a candy bar.

ZENIEN

Hooray!

JAYNA
Look, this guy isn’t like the rest!

TOVEN

They never are, Jayna! This guy might seem like a hundred bucks, but deep inside he’s just a perverted loser who’s either after you for money or a one-night stand.

JAYNA

But he could never do anything wrong to me!

Toven sighs; Jayna obviously wasn’t getting the picture.

TOVEN
It may seem like that now, however relationships like these never last more than a month.

JAYNA

I don’t care! He’s not like that, Toven! He’s warm, caring, brave and courageous. He’s my Danger Mouse and he’ll never ever leave my side. We’re going to be together forever, and we’re always going to be happy!

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. THE EXALTED’S THRONE ROOM – DAY – PRESENT
Jayna is lying in Danger Mouse’s hands, a machete lodged in her heart. She is dying, and fast. Danger Mouse runs his trembling fingers through her hair. He is crying, and crying so much that he looks like a miserable fool. Standing over both of them is The Exalted.

THE EXALTED
GIVE HER TO ME.

Danger Mouse stops what he is doing and looks up from Jayna in anger. In a deep cloud of rage he stands up and folds his hands up into fists.

DANGER MOUSE
You! You did this you bastard. You killed the only two people I ever loved!

Danger Mouse tries to lunge himself after The Exalted but instead falls over weeping.

THE EXALTED

DON’T BE A FOOL. I MAY NEVER HAVE CARED MUCH FOR MATT MURDOCK, OR ANY OF YOU FOR THAT MATTER. BUT THAT PROBLEM IS SUPERNUMERAL COMPARED TO WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW. MATT ISN’T DEAD, AND NEITHER IS JAYNA. LET ME HELP HER.

Danger Mouse stands up in front of The Exalted and blocks him from Jayna.

DANGER MOUSE
No!

The Exalted shoves Danger Mouse out of the way, sending him flying.

THE EXALTED
THAT WASN’T A QUESTION!

The Exalted bends down over Jayna and puts his hands out over his stomach. He begins to meditate. Danger Mouse gets up and plummets over towards the Exalted.

DANGER MOUSE

What are you doing to do to her?

The Exalted ignores Danger Mouse and continues meditating. Soon a strange pink glow radiates from The Exalted’s fingertips and onto Jayna’s stomach. Jayna’s eyes bolt upwards, and she lets out a tremendous amount of air. In that cliché way. Like she was drowning and ****. She is alive.

DANGER MOUSE

JAYNA! You’re alive!

The Exalted casts an ironic glance at Danger Mouse.

THE EXALTED

I’M F**KING FANTASTICAL!

Danger Mouse hugs Jayna and Jayna appears fairly confused.

JAYNA
What just happened?

DANGER MOUSE

You died! I mean, I saw you die. But you’re alive now!

JAYNA

Yeah, but how?

Danger Mouse looks back at the Exalted, and realization hits his face.

DANGER MOUSE
I’m….not entirely sure.

JAYNA

Well, what do we do now?

The Exalted walks up the stairs that lead to his throne and stops on the last staircase. He turns around.

THE EXALTED

We wait.

INT. HYPE PIPEWAYS – DAY
Ball Buster and Robin walk through the pipe-ways of the Hype. Robin lags behind Ball Buster as he plays with a yo-yo.

BALL BUSTER
How the **** did you get a yo-yo?

ROBIN

Beats me.

Beats me.

INT. HYPE HALLWAY – DAY
We zoom past the various locked doors and pictures filled with sad looking men in sombreros. We stop when we see a warrior of gold, gold hair, gold eyes, fingernails that look like woodchips. We turn around and see an attractive looking woman wearing glasses. She has several stunning attributes, most notably her stomach, and there is a light scar on the tip of her left cheek. We look below them at a cowering handsome man in a leather jacket with his hair greased back. There is an odd crazy look in his eyes, one of fear and hostility. The Golden Warrior speaks.

WEBMISTRESS
What the **** is going on Ego?

ALTERED EGO
Look, how many times do I have to tell you? Sometimes I blank out, and then I just say random stuff. And then it happens, like in real life. It’s not a big deal.

CHAIN REACTION
You just said someone was going to die!

ALTERED EGO
So?

Webmistress turns to Chain Reaction.

WEBMISTRESS
Let me deal with him.

CHAIN REACTION
The answer is no.

WEBMISTRESS
The answer is yes, or you’re being chowder mate for the psycho hockey mask guy and that boyfriend of yours.

Chain Reaction looks up at the vent above them.

CHAIN REACTION
Fine.

Webmistress bends down next to Altered Ego. She grabs the back of his head.

WEBMISTRESS
Look at me.

ALTERED EGO
Why?

WEBMISTRESS
Don’t ask questions.

The Golden Warrior looks into the cowering young man’s eyes, and his look turns to one of supreme horror. He begins to realize that he no longer has control of his lips.

WEBMISTRESS
Now…

She looks at him with determination, her golden hair spilling over her hair. He is trembling all over his body. He is going to spill everything in his mind, and it will roll from his tongues to his lips. He would tell her everything.

WEBMISTRESS
…Tell me what I want to know.

CHAIN REACTION
STOP!

WEBMISTRESS
GODDAMNIT EVERYTIIME!

Webmistress flips around in anger.

WEBMISTRESS
What is it?

Chain Reaction eyes the end of the hallway in horror.

CHAIN REACTION
He’s coming.

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 03:01 PM

INT. THE EXALTED’S THRONE ROOM
The Exalted’s throne room is spread open and bleak, looking like a miniature warehouse. Blood stains decorate the bleak gray landscape wonderfully. In the middle a staircase covered in red leads to a chair, as foreboding as the rest of the room. Standing next to it is a demigod dressed in a black robe. This is The Exalted.
Below the stairs a frightened young woman is being comforted by a nice young man who happens to have a mullet. They embrace in each other’s arms. Not for long, however.

JAYNA
Wait…

DANGER MOUSE
What is it?

JAYNA
I’m still not sure I’m clear on everything.

DANGER MOUSE
Look, how many times do I have to tell you! You were dead; Exalted brought you back to life!

JAYNA
That’s the part I’m not clear on! What are we supposed to do now?

Jayna gestured to the cloaked figure behind them. Now Danger Mouse knew what she was talking about.

DANGER MOUSE
…I don’t know.

Danger Mouse turned around.

JAYNA
We have to talk to him.

DANGER MOUSE
You first.

JAYNA
What?

DANGER MOUSE
Just kidding. I’ll talk to him.

JAYNA
Whatever.

Danger Mouse walks up the stairs, slowly approaching The Exalted.

THE EXALTED
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

DANGER MOUSE
I wanted to thank you for saving Jayna back there. You didn’t have to—

THE EXALTED
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO THANK ME, OR DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME?

DANGER MOUSE
Now, wait a minute…

THE EXALTED
FROM THE VERY FIRST MINUTE YOU CAME IN HERE I HAD NO IDEA WHY. THERE COULD BE PLENTY OF REASONS OBVIOUSLY. YOU COULD WANT A BRAND NEW CAR, FOR EXAMPLE. OR MAYBE YOU THOUGHT I WAS IRRESISTIBLY SEXY.

DANGER MOUSE
Or not.

THE EXALTED

OR MAYBE YOU JUST WANTED TO GET INFORMATION FROM ME SO YOU COULD TAKE VENGENCE UPON ME FOR WHAT I DID TO MATT.

DANGER MOUSE
Now, wait a minute…

THE EXALTED
BUT IS THAT NOT WHAT YOU WANTED? I’M HERE RIGHT NOW, SO KILL ME.

Danger Mouse looks around frantically. This was not going the way he planned.

DANGER MOUSE
But uh, I don’t have a sword.

THE EXALTED
THERES ONE IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM THERE…IN THE LEFT HAND SIDE, I BELIEVE.

DANGER MOUSE
But what if it’s not sturdy enough?

THE EXALTED
THEN YOU CAN USE THE AXE RIGHT BESIDE IT.

DANGER MOUSE
But what if there’s germs on it—

JAYNA
Oh for god’s sake, stop it!

Danger Mouse and The Exalted turn around to look at Jayna, who has just spoken.

JAYNA
Why did you save me?

THE EXALTED
BECAUSE I BELIEVE.

Danger Mouse looks upon him in anger.

DANGER MOUSE
And just what exactly do you believe?

THE EXALTED
I BELIEVE OUR ACTIONS DO NOT MATTER. I BELIEVE JAYNA AND I ARE THE SAME PERSON. I BELIEVE EVERYONE IS THE SAME PERSON AND THAT THE FATES HAVE PREDERTIMINED OUR DESTINIES.

DANGER MOUSE
And what do you call this theory?

THE EXALTED
I CALL IT THE KILLA POOH BEAR THEORY.

There is a long pause.

DANGER MOUSE
That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.

THE EXALTED
SO SUE ME. I’M A DEMI-GOD, NOT EDGAR ALAN POE.

DANGER MOUSE
But you got the whole goth thing going on.

THE EXALTED
I SUPPOSE. COME HERE.

Danger Mouse stares at The Exalted blankly, and looks back at Jayna for help. She raises her eyebrows sardonically and Danger Mouse merely shrugs.

THE EXALTED
WHAT’S TAKING SO LONG? COME OVER HERE.

DANGER MOUSE
Um…okay.

Danger Mouse reluctantly walks over to The Exalted, completely unsure of himself.

THE EXALTED
NOW…STAY CALM. BREATH.

But it is clear that Danger Mouse will not stay calm. The Demigod puts his hands on the back of the young man’s head, as the lad begins to tremble.
Then his eyes fly wide open in fear, he is afraid, and the room begins to change colors around him. Now he is shaking. Jayna calls to him, but he does not hear her. He hears nothing.

THE EXALTED
WHAT DO YOU SEE?

DANGER MOUSE
(muttering)
I see the locusts.

THE EXALTED
GOOD. SO DO I.

Danger Mouse falls to the floor, his long cape following suit. The girl of his dreams runs up to him, trying to rescue him, but her champion has fallen. She looks up at the Exalted in anger.

JAYNA
What did you do to him?

THE EXALTED
I SHOWED HIM WHAT I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SHOW YOU!! DO YOU NOT LISTEN TO ME? I SEE EVERYTHING AND MORE THAN THAT. YOU PEOPLE ARE PROBLEMATIC, ALL OF YOU AND YOU DO NOTHING. YES, IT IS TRUE I SAVED YOU, AND I COULD HAVE SAVED DIE VALUECTIC, DANTE, MAYBE EVEN VICTOR BUT I DID NOT, YOU KNOW WHY?

JAYNA
Why?

The Exalted bends down so he is at eye level with her, and then he speaks, calmly.

THE EXALTED
Because I did not care about them.

He stands up, and walks over to his throne and sits down.

THE EXALTED
IN ABOUT TEN MINUTES, MAX OR LUMBERJACK OR WHOEVER IS GONNA WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR AGAIN, LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO KILL.

The Exalted sighs and puts his hand on his face lazily.

THE EXALTED
STAY WITH ME OR DON’T STAY WITH ME, JUST PICK A DAMN SIDE ALLREADY.

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 03:09 PM

...

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 03:15 PM

CUT TO: HALLWAY – DAY
Lumberjack stands in the middle of the hallway, tired and worn-out. He is blonde, and is human perfection incarnated. He is beautiful. Yet beneath this warm friendly invitation is a killer: cold, detached, and focused. Even now he is calculating a plan in his head.

LUMBERJACK
The square root of one hundred and seventy seven is thirteen point three zero four one three four six nine five six five zero zero seven zero seven two five zero four six zero three zero eight one four one two three.

He looks up into the pipe-ways above them. He heard footsteps. Someone was up there, he knew that. He looks up at it with that same cold blue stare, always the same stare, and he knows what he has to do.

LUMBERJACK
a plus a equals b, but a plus b doesn’t always equal c.

He gently taps at the pipes above them, and there is a frantic rush of feet, a clamor that smells suspiciously of fear. Lumber Jack smiles; this is his favorite part of the hunt. The fear the prey has for his life.

LUMBERJACK
But what if a plus a equals two a’s?

Just then the pipe collapsed and a figure clad in army gear crashed to the ground. It was Hippie Hunter, and his mask was now off to the side on the ground. His face was a mesh of acne and slime. The years had not been kind to him. He shivered in fear as the cold, desolate killer stared down upon him.

LUMBERJACK
Hello.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Don’t kill me. Oh god please…I’ll do anything.

Hippie Hunters face was cold, and a booger was hanging out of his nose. Blood gashed across his eyebrow. Lumberjack reached into his pocket and revealed a handkerchief. Very lightly he brushed it across Hippie Hunter’s face, wiping all the blood off.

LUMBERJACK
Are you okay?

HIPPIE HUNTER
No…I feel horrible! My whole body feels violated.

LUMBERJACK
Relax. I’m not going to kill you.

Hippie Hunter looked up at Lumberjack and he looked like an angel sent from heaven. Now Hippie Hunter began to cry.

HIPPIE HUNTER
You’re not…?

LUMBERJACK
No, I’m not. Now, you’re going to tell me everything you know…

Lumberjack gestured to the area around him.

LUMBERJACK
…About this place.

CUT TO: BATHROOM – DAY
Webmistress douses her face in water from the rundown sink in the bathroom. She looks at herself in the mirror, her golden eyes as dead set as ever. She is deep in thought about…something. She is disrupted by Altered Ego as he emerges out of the stall with one of his old possessions.

ALTERED EGO
I was looking for this! But it looks like it has…footmarks on it.

CHAIN REACTION
We can’t wait here forever. We have to leave.

WEBMISTRESS
No, I don’t care how strong this Max guy is now, we aren’t running from him.

CHAIN REACTION
You still don’t understand the severity of our situation, do you?

WEBMISTRESS
I’ve been in worse ones.

CHAIN REACTION
No you haven’t.

WEBMISTRES
Yes, I have. Now I brought a bag with us; and if you’ll look in that bag you’ll find three swords, one bow, two dozen arrows, and a couple automatics. How does your little masked guy fare against those?

CHAIN REACTION
Quite well, actually.

WEBMISTRESS
Good, because if you’ll check the other bag you’ll find three AK’s, two more automatics, two sawed-offs and five regular shotguns. Is that enough?

CHAIN REACTION
No.

Webmistress gives her a cold blank stare.

WEBMISTRESS
Laying next to those guns you’ll find an incased rocket launcher.

CHAIN REACTION
Really?

WEBMISTRESS
No, not really; I made that one up.

There is a knock at the door. Everyone in the room freezes.

CHAIN REACITON
(whispering)
You’ve got what you wanted, he’s here…he’s found us.

Webmistress grabs a sword out of her bag and unsheathes it.

WEBMISTRESS
Bring him on.

The door bursts open. The angry figure of Max Shreck is seen before them, holding his machete with both hands. Beneath his mask he smiles at them.

MAX SHRECK:
Webmistress…long have I waited to do this.

Altered Ego thrusts Webmistress out of the way and gets an unpleasant greeting from Max’s machete.
Chain Reaction quickly grabs one of the bags and runs out of the room.
Webmistress hurls her sword at Max. He blocks her with his machete and it falls to the floor. She punches him hard in the face. He moans loudly and kicks her in the stomach, sending her flying through one of the bathroom stalls. Webmistresss, tired and out of energy, grabs the bathroom stall door and pulls it out. She hurls it at Max, who screams like a girl. Moaning and screaming he runs out of the room and into the hallway.

WEBMISTRESS
****!

Webmistress falls to the floor. She winces and limps her way over to Altered Ego, who is bleeding profusely.

WEBMISTRESS
Why the **** did you do that?

ALTERED EGO
I wanted to save you.

WEBMISTRESS
But I was mean to you. I was always mean to you, to all of you.

ALTERED EGO
That doesn’t matter. You were brave. You always looked after me. I wanted to repay you.

Webmistress pounds her fist on the toilet seat in anger, causing it to crack.

WEBMISTRESS
But that doesn’t make any ****ing sense! That doesn’t…

She runs her hands through her hair, confused. She looks like she is about to hurl. She can see that Altered Ego is wheezing, he is about to die. This is when she starts to cry.

WEBMISTRESS
What the **** is wrong with you? I’m not a good person. I never was! I abused you, I didn’t care about you! Don’t you understand that? I only cared about myself. But you just can’t understand that can you? Is it because I’m attractive to you? Is that why you guys keep ****ing doing this to me?

Altered Ego shook his head with what energy he had left.

ALTERED EGO
You do care. You’re brave, and you don’t let people get you down. You are a hero, even if you can’t admit it to yourself.

Webmistress grabs the sword on her eyes, and forces herself to stop crying.

WEBMISTRESS
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

Webmistress swings her sword in the air, and with one swift stroke ends all of Altered Ego’s pain.

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 03:22 PM

INT. THE EXALTED’S THRONE ROOM - DAY
The Exalted sits on his throne over Jayna and Danger Mouse. Compared to him they look like tiny little school children.

THE EXALTED
HAVE YOU DECIDED YET?

JAYNA
Yes.

Danger Mouse looks over at Jayna shocked. He hadn’t decided anything.

THE EXALTED
AND?

JAYNA
We want to stay with you. We want to help you.

Danger Mouse looks from the Exalted to Jayna, and then back to the Exalted.

DANGER MOUSE
Are you sure?

JAYNA
We go out there alone; we die.

The Exalted stands up.

THE EXALTED
VERY WELL, HE IS ALMOST HERE.

CUT TO: BATHROOM – DAY
We look at the dead body of Altered Ego, sprawled out on the floor. We look over at Webmistress, who is going through her bag and loading her shotgun. Finally, she is ready. She whirls it in the air, and stuffs two swords in the sleeves of her shirt.

CUT TO: HALLWAY – DAY
The whir of the chainsaw is almost unbearable. Maximus Nathaniel Shreck looks down at it and his instinct comes back to him. The smell of blood is unbearable. It is all around him. He has been too amateur. He has not been careful. Now was the time for him to make up for his mistakes. He got lost in the whir of the chainsaw, and let it guide him.

CUT TO: THE EXALTED’S THRONE ROOM – DAY
Danger Mouse stood up and went over to Jayna. He took her arm, comforting her.

DANGER MOUSE
Do you really trust him?

JAYNA
No, but we have to.

DANGER MOUSE
You know what this means, don’t you?

Jayna nods her head.

JAYNA
If we ever double cross The Exalted again, he will not take one seconds notice of killing us on the spot.

Danger Mouse takes her arm and looks into her face.

DANGER MOUSE
I’ll tell you one thing. If I ever see Max again, I can’t guarantee I won’t strangle him right there on the spot.

VOICE
Why don’t you strangle me now?

Max appears through the door, a chainsaw in his hand. Danger Mouse moves to strike down upon him, but The Exalted stops him.

THE EXALTED
DO NOT MOVE.

MAX
Ah, Exalted, still giving out orders? Just like you did to all of us. But I guess we’re all gone now, aren’t we. You see, you never really cared about the care of others did you, Exalted?

THE EXALTED
AMUSING, HEARING YOU TALKING ABOUT THE CARE OF OTHERS MAX. AS I RECALL YOU WERE PLANNING TO KILL US ALL, THE WHOLE TIME ANYWAY.

MAX
Maybe that’s how you remember it, but as I call when Matt gutted Die Valuectic right in front of your face, you didn’t give two rat’s asses.

Max moves forward, but there is a click and Max realizes there is a gun pointed at his head. On the other side of the gun is the Golden Warrior Woman, Webmistress, who does not look one bit pleased.

WEBMISTRESS
Don’t move Max, or I swear to god I’ll blow your brains out all over this room.

THE EXALTED
YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THAT, WEBMISTRESS.

WEBMISTRESS
**** you, Exalted. Last I recall you and I weren’t the best of friends so I would suggest shutting your big fat ******* right about now.

JAYNA
What’s going on, Webmistress--?

WEBMISTRESS
Altered Ego’s dead, and this son of a ***** killed him.

Jayna looks down saddened, and Danger Mouse suddenly looks more pissed.

DANGER MOUSE
That *******…

THE EXALTED
DON’T MOVE, DANGER MOUSE.

WEBMISTRESS
Since when do you take orders from that prick, DM?

MAX
Since he signed his soul over to him in order to be part of the team.

Webmistress looks quizzically at Jayna and Danger Mouse. Jayna does not move a bit and Danger Mouse stares at the floor, ashamed.

WEBMISTRESS
Is what he is saying true, Jayna?

JAYNA
Look, I’m sorry, but we—

WEBMISTRESS
Oh, I understand. So while people you loved were dying you went over to the guy who’s been trying to kill us all these years because your master went a little crazy, is that it?

DANGER MOUSE
Look, that’s not what, that’s not what happened.

WEBMISTRESS
Then what exactly happened, then? I thought you guys were my friends.

MAX
Oh, **** this sappy ****.

Max grabs the shotgun that Webmistress had pointed at his head and kicked her backwards.
The Exalted jumped off the stair case and hit him in the face. Max drove his chain saw through The Exalted’s chest and kicked him causing him to fly through the wall. Danger Mouse ran forward at Max but Max punched him in the face and threw Jayna out of his way. He walked up onto the throne and threw his hands up in the air triumphantly.

MAX
I DID IT! I’M THE KING! NOONE CAN STOP ME NOW! YES! YES! YES—

All of a sudden rain started to fall from the ceiling. First in small drops, and then it was pouring. It was raining inside the building. Max looked worried now.

MAX
That’s not good, is it?

Then the Exalted came flying out of the wall and grabbed Max by the neck.

THE EXALTED
NO, NO IT’S NOT.

Then the Exalted stuck his fingers into Max’s mask, and Max cried out loud in pain. Then electricity generated from The Exalted’s fingers, and Max’s entire body began to shake. Then he fell backwards, only a skeleton, and his skull cracked and soon his mask followed suit. The rain stopped. Maximus Nathaniel Shreck was dead.
Danger Mouse helped Jayna stand up. She whirled around.

JAYNA
Webmistress…

WEBMISTRESS
Don’t bother Jayna. If this is the way you want things to be, this is how they’ll be. But if you expect me to be okay with it, you’re high on crack.

JAYNA
But…you’re all alone.

WEBMISTRESS
I’m always alone.

Webmistress grabbed her shotgun and left the room limping.
The Exalted dusted himself off.

THE EXALTED
DO YOU SEE THAT? NOT ONE THANK YOU.

Danger Mouse walked up to The Exalted.

THE EXALTED
YES?

DANGER MOUSE
If there’s anything we can ever do for you…

And under The Exalted’s hood you could catch a smile.

THE EXALTED
Actually, I had just the thing in mind.

INT. HIPPIE HUNTER’S MONITOR ROOM – DAY
On each screen you could see Webmistress walking down the hallway; The Exalted, Danger Mouse and Jayna talking to each other, and the dead body of Altered Ego in the bathroom. Looking upon all of this is the perfect example of human perfection. He is cold, detached, and focused. And he looks at each screen with a smile on his face.

FADE TO BLACK

HYPE: THE SERIES

The Last Meatbag

01-28-2006, 05:45 PM

where the **** am I?

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 06:11 PM

where the **** am I?
Next episode. I put you in limbo for 4 episodes for little to no reason. :o :up:

The Last Meatbag

01-28-2006, 06:13 PM

You totally coulda made a bad ass reason :(

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 06:16 PM

You totally coulda made a bad ass reason :(Who's to say I didn't? You don't remember what Spork was doing last time we saw him?

The Last Meatbag

01-28-2006, 06:26 PM

Ill go read again

hippie_hunter

01-28-2006, 06:45 PM

My character isn't supposed to be begging for life :mad:

The Last Meatbag

01-28-2006, 07:23 PM

holy ****, yeah, this is a ****ing awesome story

Master Chief

01-28-2006, 07:24 PM

The finale would rule if we ever get there.

The Last Meatbag

01-28-2006, 07:26 PM

I would help but Im not funny with stories and continuity, but yeah this is funny stuff WITH a great story

SapphirePrima

01-28-2006, 08:43 PM

OMG finally. It was pretty good but what happened to Spork and Pira?

The Last Meatbag

01-28-2006, 08:45 PM

I guess we'll see in the next episode

SapphirePrima

01-28-2006, 08:49 PM

In like 6 months... :(

The Riddler

01-28-2006, 08:51 PM

not exactly sure why this thread keeps coming back.

Master Chief

01-28-2006, 08:52 PM

Tell joo what, if JJ sends whatever he has to me through rapidshare or PMs or e-mail attachment or something I'll try and help out with the scripts. So if you want them out faster get on his ass about this. :o

BATFREDDIE

01-28-2006, 08:58 PM

In like 6 months... :(
actually i just finished it, but it severely needs editing. Its the longest ever, 48 pages. :o :up:

SapphirePrima

01-28-2006, 09:07 PM

actually i just finished it, but it severely needs editing. Its the longest ever, 48 pages. :o :up:

well send it to Master Chief. I'm not gonna be on too much for next month...:(

Alpha and Omega

01-28-2006, 09:17 PM

actually i just finished it, but it severely needs editing. Its the longest ever, 48 pages. :o :up:

Post your new story, and put me in the next one.:)

Name: Alexian Zephyr

History: I am the son of nobody special. I was raised on an unknown world that was a perfect utopian society. The eyes of mankind turned toward the planet of my ancestors w/ a covetous gaze. They inevitably destroyed my world and my people.

Now I live among the shadows in the world of man. In order to gain my power, I had to go through a rite of passage: (unknown to humans) Now I am more than what I once was. I observe the history, present, and future that I am a part of, and will soon make my presence known in the world. My acension isn't a matter of debate; it is only a question of when I will choose to claim what is rightfully mine. For now, I am patient.

Powers: I possess the ablity to fly, telepathy, telekinesis, and teleportation; I control a volatile energy called: taloenz-nia which vaporizes my victims. This also allows me to manipulate human blood. I can manipulate the beams of light around my body to give the illusion of invisibility. Finally, I am now immortal, but not invincible.

Survival Techniques: deception, the fighting style of Vraknah Quinari (fluid motion of attack / defense), invisibility, final assault technique (an aggregation of energy concentrated into a direct attack), and various surreptitious evasion strategies.

BATFREDDIE

01-29-2006, 07:50 PM

just a note to all these people signing up: you're signing up for a guest spot, not an actual huge role in the show. I stopped accepting the huge ones a while ago.

The Last Meatbag

01-29-2006, 07:51 PM

When do you think the next episode will be coming out?

BATFREDDIE

01-29-2006, 07:58 PM

When do you think the next episode will be coming out?Movies205 is editing right as we speak. :up: Its a 48-page story though, so it's gonna take some time. :o

The Last Meatbag

01-29-2006, 07:59 PM

OMFG, talk about comeback.........yeah but this series is awesome, joo guys are the best

Socrates

01-30-2006, 05:24 AM

Socrates is prolly getting a life in school and a house and stuff, he ain't coming back other than check ups for a while if ever. :o

I'll probably be back in late february, or earlier. But JJ shouldn't expect any more edits from me. :o

And I'm not getting a life in school... not until college, I think. :confused:

musclesforsupes

01-30-2006, 07:51 AM

I wanna be in it!

SapphirePrima

01-30-2006, 09:42 AM

I'll probably be back in late february, or earlier. But JJ shouldn't expect any more edits from me. :o

And I'm not getting a life in school... not until college, I think. :confused:

Napoleon Dynamite:Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss ssss:up: :O

BATFREDDIE

02-20-2006, 05:09 PM

master bumpage.
Also Im posting the old original scripts in the other thread. Go here (http://www.superherohype.com/forums/showthread.php?t=220029) to view them.

The Last Meatbag

02-20-2006, 05:14 PM

awesome

13.000th post..........yay for me having no life :(

BATFREDDIE

03-05-2006, 11:07 AM

I want a body count!
I HATE YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!!! :mad::down

Imagination_13

03-05-2006, 11:21 AM

Hate yourself more for obeying his request.

Twitch

03-05-2006, 11:34 AM

If youu can find me a guest spot or something like that...

Imagination_13

03-05-2006, 11:55 AM

You'll be a cross dressing prostitute who falls in love with Meatbag, but it turns out it's just a dream and Meatbag is now confused on where he stands sexually.

Twitch

03-05-2006, 01:47 PM

Awesome :cool:

BATFREDDIE

03-06-2006, 12:18 AM

Hate yourself more for obeying his request.
yeah, but when you think about it it really wasnt that bad. WTF were we gonna do with dante and alteredego? They were probably going to die anyway. :o:(

BATFREDDIE

03-06-2006, 12:47 AM

You'll be a cross dressing prostitute who falls in love with Meatbag, but it turns out it's just a dream and Meatbag is now confused on where he stands sexually.
Nah man, I'm pretty sure Spork is a heterosexual. He's just an uncomfortably shallow ex-star trek nerd who now has a huge amount of overconfidence in himself. Besides I'm digging the pira story. However, Ball Buster, Matt Murdock and maybe even robin could all possibly be homosexual. You never know.:o:up:

BATFREDDIE

04-17-2006, 12:29 AM

HYPE SPECIAL
FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. COCKPIT OF AIRPLANE—NIGHT
Inside the airplane captain VICTOR VON DOOM is flying. He looks cool.
Next to him sits his assistant SPORK, who is super hot.

SPORK
I’m super-hot.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Yes, yes, I know. You also suck at flying planes, why are you even here?

SPORK
Uh…’cause I’m super hot.

NARRATOR
You are flying in a plane looking super sexy when something terrible happens.

As he says this lightning strikes the plane from out of nowhere.

SPORK
OH **** WE’RE GONNA CRASH!!!!

VICTOR VON DOOM
I still cannot believe you did this. Just where exactly are we going to land?

SPORK
We can land on that roof over there.

NARRATOR
You discover a building that is more than what it seems.

VICTOR
Hey, you! Our plane just crashed, we—

But then the doctor disappears as suddenly as he appeared. Victor chases after him, but it is of no use. It was as if he had vanished into thin air.

VICTOR
Seriously, this is the **** I cannot believe.

MAN WITH SUNGLASSES
Good morning. Well, not really. But anyway, welcome to the Hype. You must be having some questions you want answered.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Hype—what’s…?

MAN WITH SUNGLASSES
It is where you are. We don’t know much about it, really, I’m sorry to say. My name is Matt Murdock. This is my apprentice, Danger Mouse.

NARRATOR
And then you die for some reason.

Matt pulls out a gun and SHOOTS VICTOR.

VICTOR
What the--?

BLAM. A second shot. Spork cowers in terror. Victor’s eyes open wide.

VICTOR
(CONTINUED)
I really should have gotten laid.

MATT
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

SPORK
YOU BASTARD!!!

NARRATOR
What do you do when you lose all hope?

SPORK
Can’t we think this through reasonably and have wild, crazy unprotected sex?

WEBMISTRESS
This is my mother’s jewel. Or at least, I think it was. I can only remember bits and pieces of things that happened before. I think it was important to her some how. I just wish I could remember what her face looked like.

SPORK
Wanna see MY family jewels?

TEDDY
Grief stricken you it has, yet tossed it away like some pussy you have. Face up to grief you must, or bad things happen to you will.

SPORK
You never did go to English class did you?
TEDDY
Nowhere being cute will get you. Time you realized that is. Changed your looks you have, but same perverted loser you still are.

GIRL
Hello. I saw what happened you know. That was really horrible. But, you knew it was going to happen. Matrix always said that Matt guy was a psycho.

MATT MURDOCK
I’m atoning for…sins.

WEBMISTRESS
You sick bastard. YOU SICK, SICK BASTARD.

MATT MURDOCK
*****!

Murdock cuts Webmistress in her leg. Books are thrown around.

WEBMISTRESS
Ow…

Matt Murdock picks up Webmistress.

MATT MURDOCK
I love you.

Murdock leaves her. Webmistress confronts spork.

WEBMISTRESS
What was in the plane?

MASTER CHIEF
Well, now that you’ve made ****in’ acquaintances, the plane’s all loaded up with some *****in’ crystal meth and you can just take off.

BATFREDDIE

04-17-2006, 12:30 AM

The sun begins to rise and light starts to shine through the shutters of the very top of the tower of the Hype. Sitting in the middle of the room, legs crossed and sitting Indian style like Buddha, was Teddy.

SPORK
I want to learn to fight so I can prove myself to Webmistress, and so I can kill Matt Murdock.

TEDDY
Training your whole life you have been. Complete the circle is all I am here to do.

SPORK
Wonderful, when do we start?

TEDDY
Now!

NARRATOR
One tries to make up for his past sins. The other ignores them completely.

BALL BUSTER
YOUR BALLS HAVE BEEN BUSTED!

SPORK
(MUTTERING)
Bastard.

WEBMISTRESS
You have no idea.

Walking through the park is a young Matt Murdock now in his twenties. We follow him as he walks through the park until he gets to his friend, Michael, who is slightly younger than him. We know this young man as BALL BUSTER.

MICHAEL
I just don’t understand it man. My sister wants me to baby sit her kids, but I can’t stand kids!

MATT MURDOCK
I don’t see what your problem is with kids. I get along with them just fine.

BALL BUSTER
Hey little guy! Hey little S&M guy!

ROBIN
What's a prostitute?

HIPPIE HUNTER
The boy. You will give him to me now; or you will DIE.

WOMAN
My name is Chain Reaction. The man who just knocked you senseless was Hippie Hunter. He has taken your little friend. I need that kid back. I want you to help me.

BALL BUSTER
Take this you crazy son of a b**ch.

Hippie Hunter turns over to Ball Buster and the car begins to move. Ball Buster drives at full speed, and soon Hippie Hunter loses balance falls off the car and onto the ground. Ball Buster pulls the van back, and then he runs Hippie Hunter the hell over.
BALL BUSTER
YOUR BALLS HAVE BEEN BUSTED!

NARRATOR
Then there was this whole plot about this guy with a hockey mask that absolutely sucked…

MAX
I DID IT! I’M THE KING! NOONE CAN STOP ME NOW! YES! YES! YES—

The Exalted shocks the **** out of Max Shrek. We see a flashback of him as a black guy over his newborn son.

MAX SHREK
OH MY GOD IT’S WHITE!!!!

TATA
Well what are we going to do?

MAX SHREK
We’ll call him Mr. Thing, since he isn’t even a real person.

MR. THING
Understan’ this ma man. If yo’ don’t does my histry report, yo’ ass is going down… on ma crotch.

We’re back in regular time and we see Max kill AlteredEgo.

WEBMISTRESS
What the **** is wrong with you? I’m not a good person. I never was! I abused you, I didn’t care about you! Don’t you understand that? I only cared about myself. But you just can’t understand that can you? Is it because I’m attractive to you? Is that why you guys keep ****ing doing this to me?

THE EXALTED
DON’T MOVE, DANGER MOUSE.

WEBMISTRESS
Since when do you take orders from that prick, DM?

DANGER MOUSE
I have come seeking to learn the ways of love and peace.

The Exalted rises from his throne.

THE EXALTED
YOU JEST!

DANGER MOUSE
I have nowhere else to turn. Please, I would never have gone to you if my situation wasn’t so desperate.

THE EXALTED
GOOD. WELCOME TO THE MOVEMENT, MY NEW YOUNG APPRENTICE... YOU SHALL BE KNOWN AS: DARTH DANGER.

Chain Reaction approaches Webmistress.

CHAIN REACTION
I need help. My boyfriend has gone psycho, and I have nowhere else to turn.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Don’t kill me. Oh god please…I’ll do anything.

LUMBERJACK
No, I’m not. Now, you’re going to tell me everything you know…

Lumberjack gestured to the area around him.

LUMBERJACK
…About this place.

FADE TO BLACK

HYPE: THE SERIES

BATFREDDIE

04-17-2006, 12:31 AM

New episode will be up TOMMORROW!

Master Chief

04-17-2006, 09:32 PM

EPISODE 8: TRAINING

“There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.”—Mark Twain

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HYPE PIPEWAYS – DAY
Ball Buster and Robin walk through the pipe-ways of the Hype. Robin lags behind Ball Buster as he plays with a yo-yo.

BALL BUSTER
How in the hell did you get a yo-yo?

ROBIN
Yo-yo?

BALL BUSTER
Yo-yo.

ROBIN
Yo-yo?

BALL BUSTER
Yo-yo.

Robin goes "gangster".

ROBIN
Yo-yo *****!

BALL BUSTER
(sighing)
How many times have I told you not to cuss?

There is a faint noise in the background, and Ball Buster stops in his tracks.

BALL BUSTER
Did you hear that?

Robin shrugs.

ROBIN
No, I don’t hear anything.

Ball Buster shrugs.

BALL BUSTER
It’s probably nothing. Let’s keep going. Besides, I think we’re almost there.

ROBIN
Ball Buster…

BALL BUSTER
Yes?

ROBIN
Where are we going again?

BALL BUSTER
To see an old friend.

ROBIN
Is he fat?

BALL BUSTER
No.

ROBIN
Is he a jerk?

BALL BUSTER
Yes.

ROBIN
Is he a fat jerk?

BALL BUSTER
No.

There is a long pause as Ball Buster and Robin walk through the empty pipeways.

ROBIN
I’m bored.

But Ball Buster isn’t listening. In fact, it seems the foul-smelling one had discovered something. He kicks the ground three times, and then it caves it falls down revealing a trap door.

BALL BUSTER
A-ha!

ROBIN
What is it?

Ball Buster grins.

BALL BUSTER
It’s the way out.

Ball Buster looks around the ground.

BALL BUSTER
Well, if I could only find a way to open it; that would be very nice. Wait…robin, are you listening?

But Robin is staring at Ball Buster, and fear glows in his eyes. Ball Buster turns around and sees what it is Robin is afraid of. A CREATURE, looks like it is probably half-man, with twigs as arms and eyes that glow white in the dark. It is attached to the wall as if it is a spider. It notices them, and a noise comes out of its mouth that sounds like a mix between a hiss and a growl.

ROBIN
Holy ****!

Ball Buster turns around and grabs Robin, pulling him in to his stomach.

BALL BUSTER
(Whispering)
Do not move. Do not make a single sound. Stay close to me, understand?

Robin nods his head, and the creature makes the sound again, this time louder. Then the sound is heard again, but this time it is not coming from that creature but another one, this one female. It climbs down the walls and shows its tongue at them, long and winding.

BALL BUSTER
(Whispering)
Stay close…

At this point Robin is tweaking out, and looks like he is about to piss himself. Ball Buster remains calm and keeps Robin in his grasp, not about to let go of him. A third creature appears as if out of no where. The male they had saw first, obviously the leader, reaches out at them and brushes his claws against Ball Buster’s hair. Ball Buster does not move, but only shivers.

ROBIN
(Whispering)
Garden hoes.

BALL BUSTER
Now see, you don’t even know what that word means—

But Ball Buster is stopped mid-sentence by the leader creature as it leaps down on him. Robin tumbles on the floor and falls through the door on the ground, falling for what seems like forever. His little body hits the ground with enormous impact, a gash running right up his face.

Robin tumbles around trying to pick himself up. He wheezes uncontrollably, and blood gushes out of his nose. He looks around…he has landed on an enormous stage, and all around him are empty rows of chairs. This place was obviously some kind of theatre, but where the hell was he?

He stares up at the ceiling, realizing that Ball Buster has not shown up yet. Robin was worried about what had happened to him, for Ball Buster had protected him for a long time.

Just then Ball Buster and the creature come crashing through the ceiling, at each others throats. Robin rolls out of the way and there is a cracking sound as the two land on Ball Buster’s back, and he cries out in pain.

The creature takes this opportunity to bite into Ball Buster’s neck. Robin tries to shove the creature off of him, but the creature takes the kid and hurls him against the wall with enormous strength.

Ball Buster struggles about, flailing around trying to avoid the Creature’s gasp. But it sinks its teeth into Ball Buster’s skin, and he yells out. Blood drips down Ball Buster’s shoulder. He shoves at the creature but it only increases the force of the bite on his neck. He winces, and he realizes he is about to die.

Master Chief

04-17-2006, 09:34 PM

Then there is a loud bullet shot heard, and the creature’s brains are sprinkled about Ball Buster’s face. The pain is gone, and it is a second later that Ball Buster realizes the creature is dead. He shoves it off of him, and looks up at his savior.

There, standing in a long trench coat is MATTHEW MURDOCK, his scars hidden by his red sunglasses. He is holding two pistols as smoke comes out of there barrels, and he grimaces down at Ball Buster and the kid.

MATTHEW MURDOCK
Ball Buster, you shouldn’t have come here.

Ball Buster gets up sloppily, then kicks the dead creature's crotch.

BALL BUSTER

YOUR BALLS HAVE BEEN BUSTED!!

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. TOP FLOOR – DAY
A shockingly attractive young man is doing push-ups in the middle of a room that looks fairly similar to an attic. On his back is a teddy bear that’s jumping up and down. The man is SPORK, and the stuffed bear is TEDDY.

SPORK
575…God damnit, do I have to do this many of these things?

TEDDY

Quit not Jesus did, hmmm?

SPORK

And where'd he end up?

TEDDY

I haven't gotten that far yet.

SPORK

He got nailed to a ****ing cross!

TEDDY

No point in me finishing it now!

Teddy pulls a bible out of his ass and tosses it aside.

TEDDY
Ah, more of a Buddha fan I always was.

SPORK
I can tell. That whole Zen thing really gives it away. Is your belly a tribute to Buddha too?

TEDDY

Shut up! Sensitive about weight, I am.

Teddy kicks Spork in the back sternly.

TEDDY
Talk your way out of this you cannot. Pushup number 576 you must now do.

SPORK

Man, why did I ever decide that getting trained by a teddy bear would be a good idea?

TEDDY
Just for that, 200 more you get.

There is a sound of a swinging door and a slightly attractive young female walks up the stairs. This is PIRA. Spork’s face lights up.

PIRA

Hello, Spork.

SPORK
Oh, hey Pira! I’d like to introduce you to my friend Teddy…

But then Spork looks around and realizes that Teddy has disappeared completely.

SPORK
Or not. I guess he’s shy, or he can’t talk to women, or he hates you. Oh well, at least I don’t have to do pushups anymore.

PIRA
That’s okay, he probably has bad breath anyway.

SPORK
Oh, tell me about it. And to tell you the truth I don’t think he shaves his armpits either.

Pira giggles at this, and then her face changes to one of solemn.

PIRA

I’m sorry you haven’t been able to meet Matrix either. I think you two would get along great. He makes wonderful cookies you know.

Spork sighs.

SPORK

(Sarcastic)
Oh yeah, he sounds like a real outstanding gentleman. Why don’t we go get a suit and a top hat for him?

PIRA
Actually, I think he has those already.

There is a moment of uncomfortable silence.

SPORK

Well, I suppose I shouldn’t care. If he makes you happy, that’s all that matters. Wait a minute; he does make you happy right? Cause if not I can kick his ass. I’ve been training you know. He sounds like one of those "smack you *****, eat my cookie!" pimps.

PIRA
No, no, I don’t think you have to do that. I like him, a lot.

SPORK
Good, well as long as you’re happy.

PIRA
Right, as long as I’m happy.

Pira seductively but innocently bites on her lower lip. Spork stares at her.

SPORK (Voice over)

Christ that is sexy...

PIRA
Look, Spork, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.

SPORK
Oh, I know! Let me guess—you’re gay! Right? Totally gay! That's cool with me. If you're you know, gay.

PIRA
What?

SPORK
Okay, maybe not.

PIRA
Look, there’s just…there’s something going on in this building. Everybody knows about it, they just don’t say anything. But something’s wrong. I mean, do you ever get the feeling that somebody’s watching you?

SPORK
All the time, and that’s usually when I strip naked and flex my muscles. Wait, that’s probably too much information.

PIRA (nervous)

Well, uh, erm, I don't watch you you know. When you, uhm, flex. Or whatever you do. I don't know.

SPORK

Want to see them then? They're really big.

PIRA

No it's okay, Matrix would get angry. Anyways, sometimes I just...well, none of us know anything about this place and why, you know, why don’t we? I mean, we’re here aren’t we? And none of us know how we got here.

SPORK

I recall crashing through the roof in an airplane.

PIRA

Oh yeah.

SPORK
I’m special.

Pira nods her head in agreement.

PIRA
Yeah Spork, yeah you are.

And Spork looks at her with a sad look on his face, and Pira rubs her hands across his face.

PIRA
Well, I suppose I should get out of here.

Spork suddenly comes to his senses.

SPORK
Yeah…yeah, maybe that would be a good idea.

PIRA
See you later Spork.

SPORK

Come by again sometime.

Then Pira walks down the stairs, and she is gone.

SPORK
Well, that was odd.

Then Teddy jumps from out of the ceiling and kicks Spork in the head.

SPORK
What the hell?

TEDDY

Loves you she does!

SPORK

What…Pira? No, wait…NO!

He doubles backwards as Teddy kicks him in the testicles.

TEDDY
Retarded you are.

SPORK
But she’s got that Matrix guy! And why did you have to kick me in the nuts?

TEDDY
Think he’s real you do?

SPORK
Who…what?

Teddy kicks him again, this time in the face.

TEDDY
Want to go out with Webmistress you do. Why?

SPORK
All the girls at my high school were high on pills!

TEDDY

Time you realized it is that you can only have one love, not two.

SPORK

Ever hear of a ménage a trois?

Now Teddy once more kicks him in the balls, hard. Spork limps around in pain.

TEDDY

Say that you do but mean it you do not.

SPORK
Please, I’m real tired of your bull****. A threesome would rock.

TEDDY
**** bulls may do, but change the fact that you love her that does not. And rock a threesome did, until better off without me they thought.

SPORK
For the last time, Beanie Baby, I DON’T LOVE HER!

Now Teddy jumps up on his face and smacks him in the head over and over and over.

TEDDY

Want me to help you, you do. Okay I will. BUT MEANS NO MORE OF THIS **** THAT DOES!

And then Teddy jumps off of Spork and leaves him to lie there with the damage on his face still fresh. He sits there for what seems like forever.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HYPE HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS
The Golden Warrior walks down the hallway, a shotgun in her right hand. In her eyes are pain, and suffering and loss. This is WEBMISTRESS.

She looks around, there is nobody there. She gently lays her shotgun down, and leans against the wall. Cautiously she pulls the silver jewel off her neck, and examines it. It is beautiful. Within it can be seen anything and everything. Webmistress looks at it for a long time, and we look at through her P.O.V. Then we see a tall blonde woman who has the hottest stomach in the world in its reflection.

Within a flash of a second Webmistress darts upwards and summersaults, picking up her gun as she flies through the air. She lands and angrily ***** her gun, and points it at the woman standing in front of her.

CHAIN REACTION

This was your fault.

WEBMISTRESS

Bull****. You ran away.

CHAIN REACTION
I warned you and you didn’t listen.

WEBMISTRESS
**** that, if we stayed together we could have easily taken him on.

CHAIN REACTION
No we couldn’t of. He’s too big of a—

WEBMISTRESS

Threat? Well let me tell you something, genius. He’s dead as a doornail, and he was killed by the one person you told me not to worry about.

CHAIN REACTION
Who…?

Chain Reaction waits a second, but finally understands.

CHAIN REACTION

Exalted.

WEBMISTRESS

B-I-N ****ING G-O! And now we don’t have to worry about any of that, now do we?

CHAIN REACTION
No, Lumberjack is still out there.

WEBMISTRESS

What the **** is he gonna do, chop me down? No, forget that. All I care about right now is this jewel, you, me, and the fact that another one of my friends has just died.

At this Chain goes into shock.

CHAIN REACTION
Ego…?

WEBMISTRESS
Good, two in a row! You’re better than I thought.

CHAIN REACTION
But…I liked him…

WEBMISTRESS

You knew him for thirty minutes, get a life and get over it. I’ve got a limp in my knee, I have no friends anymore, and my whole ****ing week just isn’t going that great. I've missed my soap operas and haven't gotten to take a bath. Right now, I’d gladly trade spots with you. So shut the **** up.

Chain Reaction hangs her head down, ashamed.

CHAIN REACTION

Look…I’m…sorry.

Webmistress puts her gun down and shakes her head.

WEBMISTRESS

Just go.

CHAIN REACTION
I…

WEBMISTRESS
Go!

Chain Reaction turns around, and walks away. Webmistress watches her as she walks down the hallway. Webmistress sighs, throws her gun across the floor, and bends down against the wall, putting her hands against her knees. She looks down at the ground and sees her jewel there, sparkling on the floor. Very gently she picks it up, and puts it back on her neck. She lets out a huge breath and begins to twiddle with her thumbs.

WEBMISTRESS
****…

Then there is a sound…a low, hissing sound. It carries throughout the hallway. Webmistress turns her head around, alert. Slowly she reaches back for her shotgun. There is a rush of what feels like wind, but that’s not possible. They were in a building with stale air. How could there be wind? Now Webmistress grabs the gun and stands up cautiously.

WEBMISTRESS
Who’s there? I swear to god I’ll shoot you through hell into oblivion if you come any closer, whoever you are.

Then the hallways fill with maniacal LAUGHTER. It echoes down the small corridor, and then it fades away. Webmistress again ***** her gun. She walks slowly toward the sound, always being careful, always watching her step. Then there is a voice. At the sound of it, Webmistress freezes.

VOICE
KILL, KILL…EAT A PILL!

WEBMISTRESS
(whispering)

No…

Then Webmistress drops her gun, and she forgets about even trying to be careful. She turns around, and she begins to run, first slowly, then as fast as she could. She ran until her veins pumped battery acid, and ran some more.

INT. MENACING HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Chain Reaction is walking down the menacing hallway, and when she gets to the corner she is confronted by a familiar figure. Standing there in the corner, hunched over, is Hippie Hunter. He folds his arms.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Hello, Chain Reaction.

CHAIN REACTION

Um…hello.

HIPPIE HUNTER
You’ve been watching him again, haven’t you?

Chain Reaction shakes her head, now obviously nervous and scared.

CHAIN REACTION
I don’t know what you’re talking about…

HIPPIE HUNTER
Please, don’t lie to me. Don’t think I don’t see you in the control room at night, watching the pipeways, hoping maybe to see him again.

CHAIN REACTION
It’s not like that…

HIPPIE HUNTER
Then what is it like? You’re sick, you know that? I thought I might have loved you. Do you know that? But you never loved me, now did you? You never did.

CHAIN REACTION
No, no I…look, you’re blowing this whole thing out of proportion.

At this Hippie Hunter throws his head back and laughs a loud belly laugh.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Am I? Tell me something, Chain Reaction. You may not love me, but do you love him?

CHAIN REACTION

I…don’t know.

Hippie Hunter nods his head.

HIPPIE HUNTER
That’s what I figured. So where were you going, Reaction? Were you going to see me? Just what exactly did you hope to accomplish with that?

CHAIN REACTION
Please…just, I want you to forgive me. What I did, is a sin against God himself. But, I want you to see past that.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Good luck with that. I trust you about as much as I trust anyone else in this building. And you’ve seen what they can do; what they’re capable of. Now, listen to me.

The masked vigilante walks over to her, and gets right in her face.

HIPPIE HUNTER
I don’t ever want you to come near me again. I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to hear you, smell you, and I sure as hell don’t want to see you. You are dead to me. I can offer you no help, and no protection. You made me feel guilty for you. For that, you get nothing from me.

He sighs, and turns around.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Get out of here now.

Hippie Hunter walks away, leaving Chain Reaction by herself. She curses to herself, and angrily punches the wall. It leaves an indent of her knuckles in it.

Master Chief

04-17-2006, 09:35 PM

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. THEATRE – CONTINUOUS
Ball Buster picks himself up, the wound on his neck still fresh. He wipes off his brow, blood sprayed across his hands. Standing next to him is the young child Robin, who right now is playing with the eyeballs of one of the dead creatures that tried to attack Ball Buster.

ROBIN
Cool!

Ball Buster turns to Matt Murdock, who is standing in the middle of the aisle this strange auditorium they seemed to be in. Ball Buster taps his shoulder.

BALL BUSTER
Hey, what the hell was that thing?

MATT MURDOCK

It was a troll, one of the creatures of the other side of the hype. They feed off the spam that is in vast quantities here.

BALL BUSTER
Yeah, well it seemed like they were trying to feed off me.

MATT MURDOCK
They were. If they had continued to bite you, you would have died. Then you would have become one of them.

BALL BUSTER
Just what the hell is this place, Matt?

MATT MURDOCK
This is the place we were warned about. It’s ten times worse than anything we could have possibly imagined. I’m afraid it’s not a very good environment for you or your child. Now, you have two options.

BALL BUSTER
Which are?

MATT MURDOCK
You can die; or you can come with me.

BALL BUSTER
I think we’ll take the second one.

MATT MURDOCK
Good choice. Why did you come here, Ball Buster?

BALL BUSTER
I guess, I figured that me and the kid would be safe with you.

Matt Murdock nods and thinks about this for a moment.

MATT MURDOCK
That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You do know I killed like, 3 people before I left right?

BALL BUSTER
Hey man, nobody’s perfect. And that's why I thought we'd be safe.

MATT MURDOCK
I seem to remember you being a lot more of an ******* last time I saw you.

BALL BUSTER
That’s odd, you seem exactly the same to me.

Matt Murdock turns around and starts to walk.

MATT MURDOCK
Grab your kid. We have to go, now.

Ball Buster whistles and Robin comes running.

ROBIN
Oh, we’re going on a trip aren’t we?

BALL BUSTER
Yeah, Robin, we are.

ROBIN
Kick ass! In a jeep?

BALL BUSTER

Nope.

They continue to walk until they get to the theatre door. Then Matt Murdock holds up his hand and motions for them to stop.

MATT MURDOCK

(Whispering)

Somebody’s coming.

The door opens. Standing in front of them is a massive machine that almost looks like a man. His eyes are cold and wooden. He stands a mammoth above them.

MACHINE
Good morning Matt. Who are these people with you?

MATT MURDOCK
That’s Ball Buster, and that’s some kid in a Robin outfit. It’s okay, I know them. Guys, this is Sentinel_08.

ROBIN
Why does he look like a robot?

MATT MURDOCK
Because he is one. God, I hate kids.

SENTINEL_08

Matt, are you sure these people can be trusted?

MATT MURDOCK
No, I’m not. I’m not even sure I can trust you. However I’ve known Ball Buster for a long time, so I’m pretty sure he won’t turn on us.

BALL BUSTER
Gee, thanks.

SENTINEL_08

Matt, we have to get to the waterfall immediately. The trolls are moving and could be upon us at any moment.

MATT MURDOCK
Understandable. Ball Buster, Robin, I need you both to stay as close to me as possible as we walk down these pathways. You think you can do that?

BALL BUSTER
I’m pretty sure I have a function in my body that allows me to walk, yeah.

MATT MURDOCK
Good, lead the way Sentinel.

And so they take off. From above the trolls watch them; their dead eyes barely making out their figures.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. TOP FLOOR – CONTINUOUS
Teddy sat on the floor, surrounded in a circle by candles. Spork approached him, swaying a little as he did.

TEDDY
Ready to restart your training, you are?

SPORK
Sure, what the hell.

TEDDY

Thought about what I said have you?

SPORK
Look, Teddy or whatever the **** I’m supposed to call you, sometimes I don’t make the brightest decisions. It’s just, when I’m around Pira, I feel different. It’s like, none of the bad things I’ve done matter. It’s like I’m a true human being. I haven’t felt like that since…ever.

TEDDY
Called love that is.

SPORK
No, she’s just a friend. At least, I think she’s just a friend. Look, what does it matter anyway? I’m here to get trained, not to worry about my personal relationships. Or **** buddies. Or love!

TEDDY
In order to become a balanced warrior start from the core you must. Work on the other stuff later, yes, yes.

SPORK
But all I want to know is fighting stuff, so I can get chicks.

TEDDY
Want chicks do you? Then queer must you be. Digress I do. What ever you want unimportant it is. No longer Spork you are.

SPORK
What am I now? Oh, awesome, do I get a badass ninja name?

TEDDY
Now we shall call you…Last Meatbag. The, Last Meatbag.

There is a long uncomfortable silence.

SPORK
What the hell is that? Last Meatbag sounds like the stuff in the back of my old refrigerator. Why can’t I get a cool name, like Shadow or Ace or Batman or Shadowstep or Batman?

TEDDY

Retarded you are, so retarded name you get.

SPORK
Well gee thanks a lot, Mr. Miayagi. Why don’t you take your stupid name and stick it up your nerdy Star Wars ass?

At this teddy jumps up and kicks Spork in the stomach, sending him flying across the room.

TEDDY

Select a mace from the weapons rack.

SPORK
Oh I’m the bomb with mace, you hear me pimp daddy?

TEDDY

Ha. See your pathetic skills we shall. Get up and grab it.

Spork tries to get up and go retrieve it from Teddy’s cupboard, but the bear stops him and starts doing jumping jacks on his back.

TEDDY
Needed a good exercise I did.

SPORK
Get off my back you damn Muppet!

TEDDY

Name-calling never worked for you it has. Yet continue to do it for no reason you do day after day.

SPORK

**** you, wannabe Asian guy!

TEDDY
If strong you are retrieve the mace you shall.

Spork gets up, throws Teddy off of him and walks about 3 feet before the bear is back at him, slugging away.

TEDDY
Do this you can!

Now Spork develops a new strategy in his mind. Instead of throwing Teddy off of him, he simply stands up and continues to take the beating as he walks over to the weapons rack. He opens the door, and grabs a mace. Then he takes the mace and swings it at Teddy, but Teddy jumps away and the mace goes into his back.

SPORK
GOD DAMN!

TEDDY

A small wound is what that is. Pain is a temporary weakness. Fight it you must.

SPORK
I’ll kill you, you bastard!

TEDDY
Like to see you try I would.

Spork swings his mace around angrily, blind to everything that is going on around him. He sees only his anger, only his frustration.
TEDDY

Letting your anger guide you, you are. Bad idea this is.

SPORK
STOP TALKING! I HATE YOU!!!

TEDDY

Bleeding profusely you are. Leading you wide open to attack!

Teddy jumps up and kicks Spork in the spot where the mace went into his skin. He screams in agony.

SPORK
YOU BASTARD! WACK BASTARD!

Spork runs around like a lunatic, getting down on his hands and knees and running after the teddy bear as best as he could. He staggers, and soon he drops the mace and falls down, unconscious.

FADE TO BLACK.
FADE IN.
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Webmistress is running down the hallway, her pace never slowing down. She quickly looks around as she turns the corner and leaps into an empty white room. She closes the door and locks. She sighs. Now she is safe.

VOICE
Trying to run from me, are you?

Webmistress turns white. She reaches around and unlocks the door, but when she tries to open it the door does give. She pulls with all her might and finally the handle is broken off and it rolls down on the floor.

WEBMISTRESS
No…I watched you die.

Then he appears in front of her, as if he came out of the walls. Standing there, grinning down at her and looking like a weird mix of Charles Foster Kane and Fonzie is ALTERED EGO.

ALTERED EGO
Hello, Webby. Miss me?

Webmistress bottles up into a feeble position.

WEBMISTRESS
Somebody’s messing with me. Whoever you are, I’m telling you this right now: come any closer and you’ll regret it during the last seconds of your life.

ALTERED EGO
And what are you gonna do, Webby? Stop me with that little jewel of yours?

WEBMISTRESS
Quit calling me that!

Webmistress jumps up and punches Altered Ego in the face hard. Except her fist goes through his face, and then it goes through his entire body. She stares at him, perplexed.

ALTERED EGO
That’s the thing about becoming a ghost. Things start to get transparent. Ha!

WEBMISTRESS
You’re not Altered Ego.

ALTERED EGO
Well I look like him don’t I?

WEBMISTRESS
Altered Ego would never use the word “transparent”. And he’d be feeling me up right about now too.

ALTERED EGO
Well, as you can see, it’s kind of impossible for me to be feeling you up now isn’t it?

WEBMISTRESS
You’re not him. I don’t know who you are but you’re sick, and I will find a way to kill you.

ALTERED EGO
(Laughing)
You always were so sure of yourself, Webby. Tell me something I always wanted to know. What’s with the jewel on your neck?

WEBMISTRESS
Its my Mom’s.

ALTERED EGO
That’s a good one, Webby. No, really, why do you carry it around all the time? Are you some kind of sympathetic loser or something, moaning about your past all day long? Look at yourself. Sometimes you’re just so pathetic.

WEBMISTRESS
Did I ask you?

ALTERED EGO
No, I suppose you didn’t. I guess I would have to wait until you asked. I mean, you always want to be in control don’t you?

WEBMISTRESS
Or maybe I just want to stick my foot up your ass. What do you think you are anyway, some kind of shrink?

ALTERED EGO
Maybe; what do you think you are?

WEBMISTRES
Your mom, *****.

Webmistress kicks her foot through Altered Ego’s stomach.

ALTERED EGO
Cute. Now let’s talk about what I want, shall we?

WEBMISTRESS
I’d rather we didn’t.

ALTERED EGO
I want you to follow Chain Reaction’s boyfriend. I want to know everything there is to know about him and his new friend.

WEBMISTRESS
What do I get in return?

ALTERED EGO
The satisfaction of me not following you around everywhere you go. You take care of this little problem, I leave you completely alone.

WEBMISTRESS
And if I don’t?

ALTERED EGO
You spend the rest of your life in misery haunted by a ghost nobody else can see. Think it over.

Altered Ego disappears, and the door behind Webmistress slowly creaks open.

Master Chief

04-17-2006, 09:35 PM

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. WATERFALL – NIGHT
The artificial Waterfall flows into a long manmade river that is blocked out by black metal railings. The river runs around the massive room, and in the center there is a group of tress. Matt Murdock stops at the edge of the Waterfall and Sentinel_08, Ball Buster and Robin all do the same.

MATT MURDOCK
Okay, here we are. Sentinel, open the door.

Sentinel_08 goes forward, Ball Buster looks confused.

BALL BUSTER
What door?

The half-man half-machine pounds his fist into the black tile ground. Suddenly the water stops, and the Waterfall opens up to reveal a room behind it.

MATT MURDOCK
That door.

ROBIN
Whoa, awesome!

The group follows Matt Murdock as he jumps forward and walks into the white room. It works great for Sentinel but not so great for Ball Buster or Robin.

ROBIN
Ah, I got water on my shoe!

BALL BUSTER
Ah crap me too.

Matt Murdock strut into the room, laid back and looking cool. He swayed about as they entered an even larger spread out white room, and what was inside was beyond comprehension. In one corner there was a table with held a lamp and some porn magazines. At this Ball Buster’s eyes first say, and lit up. Next to the porn was several laid out books, an over stuffed desk drawer, and some smelly socks lying on the floor. In the other corner was a television with an X-Box attached to it. There were some pictures of some weird men in sombreros hung up above it. Then, in the back of the room was something that Ball Buster and Robin were unprepared for.
There it was, just as they remembered it. The monitor they had seen in Hippie Hunter’s lair was there in front of them. Every screen was duplicated, everything was the same. There was only one difference. At the top was the number 2.

BALL BUSTER
What the hell?

MATT MURDOCK
We found it when we got here. We weren’t sure what it was…you’ve seen it before?

BALL BUSTER
Yes, we have. This guy Hippie Hunter kidnapped us and he had one exactly like this…only there was no number above it. I thought it was something he invented.

Matt Murdock thinks about this, looking gravely concerned.

MATT MURDOCK
Look, you have to listen to me.

BALL BUSTER
Wait, am I supposed to look or listen?

MATT MURDOCK
What?

BALL BUSTER
Skip it.

MATT MURDOCK
If you truly saw something like this before it means that there could be bases like this all throughout this building, everywhere. Someone could be watching us at any moment.

ROBIN
That’s not very good is it?

MATT MURDOCK
Doesn’t this kid have Ritalin or something?

BALL BUSTER
Probably; but I couldn’t find any.

MATT MURDOCK
Michael, the point I’m trying to get to is that whoever built this place put these here for a reason. They could still be watching us even now.

Everyone in the room gives Matt a blank stare, and he gets a particularly vicious one from Ball Buster.

BALL BUSTER
What did you just call me?

MATT MURDOCK
What? I called you Ball Buster.

BALL BUSTER
No, you didn’t. You called me Michael. Is there something you want to talk to me about, Matt?

Now Sentinel and Robin are feeling uncomfortable as Matt and Ball Buster stare down at each other.

MATT MURDOCK
No, is there something you want to talk to me about?

Ball Buster gives some thought to this, and then turns around.

BALL BUSTER
Forget it. Robin, we’re playing x-box.

ROBIN
Horray!

Matt stands silently as Sentinel approaches him.

SENTINEL_08
What the **** was that, Matt?

MATT MURDOCK
You don’t ask questions about my social life and I won’t ask questions about the pudding you make in your stomach.

SENTINEL_08
Now look, there’s no need to drag my pudding into this.

MATT MURDOCK
Screw it, I’m going to train.

Matt Murdock walks back into the white room, and Sentinel goes over to play X-box with Ball Buster and Robin

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. TOP FLOOR – NIGHT
Spork awakes, the sharp pain in his back seemingly subsided. He looks around and sees that Teddy is standing on his stomach.

SPORK
Ah, ****!

TEDDY
Mace test went exceptionally well it did…for an amateur.

SPORK
**** you.

TEDDY
See you’re still angry I do.

SPORK
You logged a sharp weapon into my ****ing back!

TEDDY
Recall you being the one who wielded it I do.

SPORK
Come on, don’t act stupid. You knew I would have injured myself. I’m just a loud-mouthed pretty boy.

TEDDY
Most people chopped off their arms they would have. On the path to better things you now are.

SPORK
Go me. So do I continue my training now or what?

TEDDY
Understand why we are training you still do not.

SPORK
Oh please, not more long lectures. I feel like I’m in grade school again, being told I shouldn’t pee in other kids’ lockers.

TEDDY
More important training is than anything else in this world. You train yourself to ride a bike, you train when you want to lose weight and when you want to gain it, you train when you practice learning an instrument, you train when you want to get better at sports, you train yourself for sex when you masturbate…

SPORK
Damn I’ve had more training than I thought!

Teddy gives Spork a disapproving gesture.

SPORK
What, I ride bikes a lot.

TEDDY
Look at yourself you should…say you want to become a great warrior by getting some kind of kung fu knowledge you do. But Training this is not. Makes someone more wealthy or more poor, this is what training does. Gives them confidence or takes it away. That is all I’m here to do. Give you a second chance I now shall. Want to leave you do, walk down those stairs. Want to train, stay and learn.

Spork looks toward the stairs and then he looks back at Teddy.

SPORK
Ah hell, I was having so much fun. Who wants to ruin such a good time?

Teddy takes a breath and summersaults off of Spork’s stomach.

TEDDY
Very well, let us fight.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. TRAINING ROOM – NIGHT
Webmistress walks into the training room, alert and ready for anyone to pounce from the corner. She takes two steps forward and zips open a black bag. She pulls out from it a long sword, and unsheathes it.

ALTERED EGO
What are you doing?

WEBMISTRESS
What the **** does it look like I’m doing? You want me to go after this Hippie Hunter guy, I will. I have to prepare myself first. And I really don’t think I can do that with you following me around all the goddamned time.

ALTERED EGO
Oh now don’t act that way, Webby.

WEBMISTRESS
Stop ****ing calling me that.

ALTERED EGO
Oh, touched a nerve did I?

WEBMISTRESS
Look, do you want me to ****ing do this for you? Then leave me the hell alone.

ALTERED EGO
So be it.

Altered Ego disappears, and Webmistress attaches the sword to her buckle. She reaches into the bag, pulls out two Sais and twirls them in the air.

LEFT SIDE OF SCREEN
Matt Murdock is in the white room, only now the door from before is closed. He pulls out some scotch tape and raps it around his fingers.

CENTER OF SCREEN
Teddy kicks Spork in the face, and Spork is sent flying backwards. Spork gets up and plunges at Teddy, but misses and collides with the ground.

RIGHT SIDE OF SCREEN
Webmistress hurls her Sais in either direction, plunging them at the air. She summersaults in the air, flying backwards as she does so.

Now Matt breathes in, and punches the wall in anger. Then he punches it again and again, more and more breaking off each time he does so.

Ball Buster and Robin are playing X-Box with Sentinel. They seem to be enjoying themselves, and Ball Buster pats Robin on the head, while Sentinel screams at the screen angrily.

Matt punches the wall again, this time harder. It is obviously painful to him, yet he punches again anyway. Blood drips down onto the floor. Then Matt turns around, and kicks the wall with all his might.

Spork lifts himself off the ground once more, but is greeted with a kick in the back of the head by Teddy. He falls face first, back onto the ground.

Spork jumps upwards onto a near-by box. Teddy kicks the box out from under his legs, so he jumps up onto the weapons rack. Teddy charges full-force at it, causing it to come crashing down.

Pira is sitting by herself, looking worried. She glances from side to side, and takes a sip of water from a plastic bottle she found lying around somewhere. She is alone, and afraid.

Webmistress hurls one sai at the wall. It hits her target perfectly. Then she plummets forward and tosses the other one at the door beside her. It hits the door smack in the center.

Webmistress once more unsheathes her sword, swinging it back and forth in rapid motion. With one motion she leans forward and slices off the door handle. As it drops to the ground, she smiles to herself.

Webmistress takes her sword and puts it back in its protective outer-covering. Then she grabs the door handle, and swings it at the wall, causing it to break into thousand tiny pieces.Matt is punching like a lunatic, over and over again. He punches, the wall, and he kicks it. Then he bends down on his hands and knees and slams it with his fists. He takes in a breath, and slowly calms down.

Matt reaches into his sack and pulls out a thing of beer. He begins to chug it thoroughly, like a baby who does not yet know how to eat its food.

Spork hits himself in the head as weapons come sprawling all across the floor. Teddy comes charging at Spork ready to kick some ass. Spork is too fast and Teddy runs into the wall.

Teddy now gets up and lunges at Spork once more as Spork reaches for his sword. Teddy kicks Spork in the thigh and he is sent flying across the room. As he does so he picks up a sword, feels it in his hands and then kicks himself upwards. As he does this, Teddy kicks him in the stomach and the sword goes flying back onto the ground.

Chain Reaction wonders down the hallways. She is sad, angry and most of all confused. She swears profusely to herself, and then walks on.

Webmistress grabs both Sais and attaches each one to her belt buckle. As she goes outside to leave, she stares at the jewel on her neck. It shines brightly.

Webmistress looks at it and seems to gain some new kind of confidence. She sighs, and then walks down the hallway ready to kill.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. MONITOR ROOM - NIGHT
Lumberjack stands above the monitor, looking at it in shock and amazement. Behind him is Hippie Hunter, who appears slightly scared, slightly amused. It has been a long time since he has seen someone else watching the screens with him. And he is glad to finally find someone who has as much of a thrill seeing it for the first time as he did…even if that someone is a psychotic killer.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Do you like it?

LUMBERJACK
Very much so…tell me, who is this girl?

Lumberjack points to one of the screens where a girl pouts in a room covered with spider-webs and boxes. It is PIRA.

HIPPIE HUNTER
That’s just some girl that hangs around with that bozo from the plane. Why?

LUMBERJACK
She’s wonderful.

Lumberjack turns around, the lights from the monitors still shining on his beautiful, cold face. It had changed from one of wonder to one of business and sheer brutality. Still there was something about his eyes…

LUMBERJACK
She’s coming for you, you do know that.

HIPPIE HUNTER
I don’t think Chain Reaction is going to be a problem anymore.

LUMBERJACK
Don’t be ridiculous, you know who I’m referring to.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Oh, her—I can take her.

Lumberjack shakes his head.

LUMBERJACK
Not in your condition; she’d slice right through you.

HIPPIE HUNTER
What on earth do you want me to do then?

LUMBERJACK
Nothing, you’ve done so much for me already. Let me do this one thing for you.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Are you sure?

LUMBERJACK
Yes, my friend, I am. She is strong, but not strong enough to take on me. Go now, and rest. I will keep you safe.

Lumberjack turns around to watch the monitors more closely. Hippie Hunter reluctantly walks out of the room. On the monitor, Lumberjack can see him punch the wall angrily, and then fall down on the ground. Lumberjack smiles.

Master Chief

04-17-2006, 09:37 PM

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. WHITE ROOM - NIGHT
Matt Murdock walks back into the white room, beer stains dirtying up his leather jacket. Before he goes further he checks the monitor. He sees her walking through the hallways like always she is more beautiful than seems possible. Matt could watch her all day. Even as she sharpened her sword, he knew. She would be his Webby forever.
Matt Murdock walks forward and sees that Ball Buster and Robin have just whopped Sentinel in Halo 2. They do their victory dance.

ROBIN
I love it when you call me Big Poppa!

BALL BUSTER
Throw your hands in the air, like a true playa!

SENTINEL_08

Damn you, insolent fools.

Ball Buster turns around and sees Matt standing there with his arms crossed. The smile on Ball Buster’s face disappears immediately.

MATT MURDOCK
If you guys are done being ghetto I have something to tell you.

BALL BUSTER
What is it, Matthew?

MATT MUROCK
Tomorrow morning we’re leaving and you’re going back to the other side. It’s not safe with you here.

BALL BUSTER
Oh, but it’s perfectly okay for you to stay here.

MATT MURDOCK
Yes it is. I can take care of myself. I don’t have a child to take care of.

BALL BUSTER

Like you give a rat’s ass about him. You only ever cared about yourself.

ROBIN
Hey I’m standing right here *****es!

Ball Buster sighs.

BALL BUSTER

How many times have I told you not to swear?

Matt Murdock laughs, and shakes his head.

MATT MURDOCK
I don’t understand you Michael. I thought you hated kids.

BALL BUSTER
I thought you didn’t drink.

SENTINEL_08

Color me confused. Why in God’s name do you keep calling him Michael?

ROBIN

God doesn’t like you parading his name in such a fashion, robot dude.

MATT MURDOCK

God doesn’t exist. He’s just a figure made up to make people afraid, just like Santa Claus. You’ll do wise to forget him.

BALL BUSTER
MATT YOU GODDAMN *****!!!

Ball Buster leaps into the air and plummets across Matt, sending the both of them flying across the room. Ball Buster twists his hands across Matt’s neck. Matt struggles to breath, and he tries to get Ball Buster’s hands off of him. Sentinel seizes Ball Buster off, and he splats against the wall, and then puts his knees in front of his face.

BALL BUSTER
We used to be friends. You know it, I know it. Why do you keep hiding from me?

MATT MURDOCK
You smell like dead seal.

BALL BUSTER
You’re a real pretentious son of a *****. Not like I care. You want to know why I came here, Matt?

MATT MURDOCK

Please enlighten me.

BALL BUSTER
I thought I was safe with you. I trusted you. I thought that if there was one place where I would be free from harm, it would be with Matthew Murdock. I of course now understand how completely insane that is.

MATT MURDOCK

Good, I wouldn’t want you getting the wrong impression.

BALL BUSTER
But I did get the right impression Matt. You’re a good person, just too damn stupid to realize it. Webmistress loved you, but you ran away from her like some kind of ****ing pussy.

MATT MURDOCK
So you’re the perfect example of a manly man, are you?

BALL BUSTER
I’m not a good person Matt. Deep inside I’m nothing but a gigantic ass. Yet I’m trying to work on it. What about you?

MATT MURDOCK
I left Webmistress for a reason, you ****ing imbecile. If I had stayed with her, I would have hurt her again. I couldn’t let that happen.

BALL BUSTER
Are you blind? Did you see her before you left? She was a complete wreck. She had no friends. She alienated herself on purpose. I’m getting the impression that things would have gotten a lot better if you had stayed and don’t even get me started with Danger Mouse…

Suddenly Matt’s face changed and he looked worried.

MATT MURDOCK

What about Danger Mouse?

Ball Buster smacks himself in the face.

BALL BUSTER

****, I shouldn’t have said that.

MATT MURDOCK
What about Danger Mouse?

BALL BUSTER

After you left, he didn’t know how to take it. He freaked out, and he…he’s working for the Exalted now.

Matt Murdock stands up, angry.

MATT MURDOCK
HE WHAT?

BALL BUSTER

He was worried about what would happen to Jayna, so he decided that the only way to be free from the lions was to live in the lion den.

Matt Murdock takes off his glasses, and his scarred face accents his blind eyes. He runs his hands through his hair.
MATT MURDOCK
I should have known he’d do something like that.

BALL BUSTER
No, Matt. You couldn’t have known.

MATT MURDOCK
Danger Mouse was always too impulsive. I should have been there for him.

ROBIN
Hey, can I have some of Sentinel’s tofu?

Ball Buster and Matt turn around and see Robin and Sentinel standing there. Ball Buster smiles at Robin and then turns around to face Matt.

BALL BUSTER
Its not too late Matt. Come with us back to the other side. We can fix this.

ROBIN
The tofu’s getting cold.

Then there is a rustling sound, as if out of nowhere. Matt’s reaction is fast. He withdrawals two pistols out of his trench coat and points them at the ceiling.

BALL BUSTER
What the hell, what is it?

MATT MURDOCK

The trolls. They’ve found us.

Robin grabs Ball Buster’s hands. Sentinel loads his shotgun.

BALL BUSTER
What do you want us to do?

Matt Murdock nods to Sentinel. Sentinel nods in returns and opens up the ground, revealing a hatch door.

MATT MURDOCK
We run.

FADE TO BLACK
INT. TOP FLOOR – NIGHT
Teddy sits hunched on top of a box in the middle of the room. Sitting down in front of him cross-legged is Spork.

SPORK

Teddy, do you ever think that everyone’s out to get you? Like there’s some kind of gigantic conspiracy about this whole place?

TEDDY
No, why?

SPORK
Well, neither do I.

Teddy smiles.

TEDDY

Only villain out there you must fight is the one inside your mind, be aware of that you should.

Spork nods.

SPORK
Right, that’s what I thought you were going to say.

TEDDY

Thinking about that you really are not, hmmm?

SPORK
What, that’s ridiculous! Why would I be thinking about Pira?

TEDDY
Mention Pira I did not.

SPORK
Ah **** me. I really am in love with her, aren’t I?

TEDDY
Tell me, you should.

SPORK
I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do?

TEDDY
Finish today’s training you should.

SPORK

You’re one really weird dude, you know that?

Teddy jumps off the box and kicks it aside.

TEDDY
Tell you about the ancient race of meatbags I now shall.

SPORK
Wait a minute, there was an ancient race of meatbags??

TEDDY
Warriors believe that detachment of emotion from battle is the only key towards victory. Not so with the meatbags: they believed the only key to victory was in emotion itself.

SPORK
What happened to them?

TEDDY
Understand you do not. Last descendent of the meatbags you are.

Suddenly there is a scream from downstairs. Spork gets up almost immediately.

TEDDY
Be careful you should.

SPORK
She could be in pain. I have to tell her the truth.

Spork runs down the flight of stairs, anxious and afraid. Teddy sighs.

TEDDY
Idiot...this is what you are.

Master Chief

04-17-2006, 09:38 PM

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Chain Reaction fiddles walks about this dark hallway, fiddling with her glasses. She continues to walk forward until she realizes there is a gun being pointed right in her face.

WEBMISTRESS
Hello again…missed me?

Then without even flinching Webmistress whacks Chain Reaction on the head and she falls to the ground, unconscious.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. BATHROOM – NIGHT
Chain Reaction wakes up and sees Webmistress standing over her, again holding the gun.

CHAIN REACTION
What the ****…

WEBMISTRESS
Tell me where Hippie Hunter is.

Chain Reaction rubs her hands in front of her eyes, shakes her head and once again focuses on the gun barrel in front of her.

CHAIN REACTION
I never told you…

Her eyes open up wide in sudden realization.

CHAIN REACTION
What are you going to do to him?

WEBMISTRESS
If you want to keep your precious little life, you’ll tell me exactly where he is right now.

CHAIN REACTION
You wouldn’t…

Webmistress smacks Chain Reaction in the face with the butt of the gun, sending it right smack into the wall. Blood trickles down Chain Reaction’s chin.

WEBMISTRESS
Don’t ****ing try me, ****.

Chain Reaction looks at Webmistress in mock horror and disgust.

CHAIN REACTION
What’s happened to you?

WEBMISTRESS
I’m running out of patience. You still haven’t answered my question. Where is Hippie Hunter?

Webmistress stands there with the gun for quite some time, and then Chain Reaction stands up.

CHAIN REACTION
Let me take you to him.

Webmistress grins.

WEBMISTRESS
Lead the way.

Webmistress grabs Chain Reaction’s hair and pushes her out of the stall, and they walk forward.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
Lumberjack emerges from the gigantic hole in the wall, burnt porn mags spread about at his feet. Behind him standing in the pipe-ways, Hippie Hunter does not looked pleased. Lumberjack turns around.

LUMBERJACK
I thought I told you to wait in your base. I can handle this myself.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Chain Reaction is with her.

LUMBERJACK
Then I can handle both of them.

HIPPIE HUNTER

There’s something that you should know…

LUMBERJACK
I do not need to concern myself with the details. They’re women, what problems can they possibly represent?

HIPPIE HUNTER
Chain Reaction is different.

Lumberjack smiles.

LUMBERJACK
Aren’t we all?

There is a sound coming from some place not far from the two of them. The cold killer relaxes his hands and cracks his neck. He is ready for anything.
Emerging from the corner is Chain Reaction looking as attractive as ever. Behind her and holding a gun to her head was Webmistress. Hippie Hunter withdraws a sword from his back and gives it to Lumberjack. Lumberjack nods to him, and swing the sword in the air. The Golden Warrior is not far from them now.

LUMBERJACK
Hello Webmistress, we’ve been expecting you.

WEBMISTRES
Who the **** are you?

LUMBERJACK
You mean you don’t remember? I’m the psychopath!

WEBMISTRESS
There’s more than one of you?

LUMBERJACK
Honey, we come in bucket loads. I understand you’ve come to kill my friend Hippie Hunter. I find that there’s almost no reason for you to do that. I think your real gripe is with me.

WEBMISTRESS
Well you’re wrong. Get the **** out of the way.

LUMBERJACK
You know Max told me before he died how pretty you were. I never really believed him until now.

This stops Webmistress dead in her tracks. Slowly she puts the gun down and Chain Reaction shakes her head, nervous about the whole situation. Webmistress’s whole body begins to shake.

WEBMISTRESS
You knew Max Shreck?

LUMBERJACK
Oh yes, he’s the one that let me out of that cage I was trapped in. I mean that in the most figurative sense, of course. It’s a real shame about Altered Ego, really. Though it’s not like he didn’t have it coming.

CHAIN REACTION
Don’t do anything stupid, Web—

WEBMISTRESS

No, you shut the hell up about Ego. You didn’t know him.

LUMBERJACK
Oh please, the guy was a pathetic loser. He pretended he was gay just to get close to you. Someone like that doesn’t deserve to live. Don’t worry though. Death is just a temporary illness. It’s something you can get over, trust me on that.

WEBMISTRESS
GET OVER THIS!!!

And with that there is a large BLAM, and blood is spilled over the wall. The cold human perfection falls, his shirt dirty with blood, his face in supreme agony. He lands face first with the floor, twisting his jaw out of place.
Hippie Hunter jumps forward, swinging his sword. Chain Reaction runs toward the corner and Webmistress tosses the gun to the floor, hunches over and withdrawals a sai from her shoe.
Hippie Hunter comes charging full force. The sai comes swinging out of her hands and collides with Hippie Hunter’s side. It does not affect him one single bit.
He is getting closer to her now. She hurls her other sai, this one landing in his knee. This time he groans loudly, but continues to run at the same speed none the less. His sword swishes through the air and cuts off several strands of Webmistress’s hair. She kicks him in the stomach and he lurches backward, colliding with the wall. The sword flies in the air and Webmistress summersaults into the air and grabs it by the handle.
She lands on the floor. She is ready now. She firmly grips both her hands over the handle.

WEBMISTRESS
Goodbye Hippie Hunter, it’s been loads of fun.

She swings it into the air as we…

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. UNDERGROUND HALLWAY – NIGHT
Ball Buster and Robin are running behind a blind redhead in a trench coat as the robot follows them. Matt makes a motion with his hands telling them to stop. Ball Buster trips and almost falls on his face, but Sentinel picks him up and keeps him upright. In front of them there is a wide and dark tunnel that seems to lead on forever.

BALL BUSTER
Why’d we stop?

MATT MURDOCK
They’re waiting for us, in this tunnel in front of us.

BALL BUSTER
How can you be so sure?

MATT MURDOCK
There’s only one way to make sure.

Matt withdrawals an AK-47 from his leather jacket and begins to shoot at the tunnel with a loud growl of metallic gunfire. Suddenly there is a loud HISSING, and a scattering of feet. Matt stops firing, and the scattering fades to a dull murmur. Matt turns around and motions to his crew.

MATT MURDOCK
It’s safe. Let’s go.

Matt leads them into the tunnel. Ball Buster holds Robin close to him. Matt walks forward, and Sentinel behind him. As they walk through the tunnel, Ball Buster looks around suspiciously. Matt stops them again.

BALL BUSTER
What now?

MATT MURDOCK
I hear something.

SENTINEL_08

What?

MATT MURDOCK
Water.

Matt turns to the right, entering a small tunnel. Ball Buster, Robin and Sentinel look on confused. We follow Matt as he enters through a small tunnel, leading him off onto brick steps. As he walks up the steps we hear the noise of water get louder. He is now walking on a GIGANTIC, NARROW BRIDGE. On Each side of the bridge water flows down from a WATERFALL, and beneath the bridge a small lake awaits anyone who should fall. Matt Murdock turns around and glances back. The other three look on in wonder.

ROBIN
Sweet.

MATT MURDOCK
Stay here.

Matt turns around and walks forward.

INT. GIGANTIC WATERFALLL AREA – NIGHT
Matt puts his first foot onto the bridge, his long leather jacket skating across the edges of it. He pulls out a sawed off and points it at one edge. Slowly he eases his hands around the trigger, getting feel for it, and the metal inside of it. A part of him clings to that feeling. Then, he FIRES, and there is a long silence afterwards. The piece that he shot at takes a long time to fall, but finally hits the water with a pink. Matt grimaces. It is a long way down, indeed.

Then there is a rumbling sound. It starts out small, unrecognizable. Then it crescendos into a loud gigantic sound of feet and noise as if there is going to be an earthquake. The bridge vibrates, and Matt struggles to keep his balance. Very slowly he withdrawals his other sawed off, and points both of them off at either side. The rumbling sound declines, and fades away as if nothing had happened.

INT. TUNNEL - NIGHT
Watching these events, Sentinel turns his hand into a submachine gun. Ball Buster holds Robin close to him. Then the rumbling starts again.

INT. GIGANTIC WATERFALL AREA – NIGHT
Matt stands at alert, pointing the two sawed-off shotguns down at the ground. Then something strange begins to happen. Matt’s cape begins to rustle, as if there is a soft wind coming up. The noise gradually builds up getting louder and louder, and so does the wind. Matt closes his eyes, and his hair begins to blow back in the wind. A faint smile appears on his lips. The noise is becoming horribly loud, and there is a loud, harsh and familiar series of shrieking sounds. Matt’s smile grows into a medium size grin.

INT. TUNNEL – NIGHT
The noise is hideous. Ball Buster covers Robin’s ears as the rumbling and the rustling and shrieking becomes unstoppable.

INT. GIGANTIC WATERFALL AREA – NIGHT
Along the area where water was once the only commodity, thousands upon thousands of TROLLS cling to the walls, angry and upset. Their hissing is now unmistakable. Matt stands in between them as they claw and call out to him. Slowly Matt raises up his guns and points them to either side, and yells out to his friends.

MATT MURDOCK
NOW! GO NOW!

INT. TUNNEL – NIGHT
Ball Buster gives Robin to Sentinel and he hoists the kid onto his metallic shoulders. Ball Buster looks nervously up at the child. Sentinel smiles down at Ball Buster.

SENTINEL_08
He will be safe with me.

The screams can be heard from the tunnel.

MATT MURDOCK
HURRY!

Sentinel runs forward and Ball Buster staggers behind.

INT. GIGANTIC WATERFALL AREA – NIGHT
They run down the bridge frantically, Matt leading the way screaming a bellowing war cry and shooting off in every direction. Trolls jump off the walls, mouths open in furious range. Some get their heads blown to smithereens by the gunfire. Others are chucked sideways by Sentinel, who is trying desperately to keep Robin safe.
They draw closer and closer to the end of the bridge. Three trolls jump in front of them, blocking their exit, but Matt flips the sawed-offs around and destroys all of them thanks in part to Sentinel’s submachine guns that were attached to his hands. They drop to the floor, obliterated.
The hallway is long and looks as if it will never end. On the side is yet another door in the ground, and this one looks as if it belongs in an abandoned shack in the middle of nowhere.
Matt walks up to the door, and shoots it open using the last bullet in the sawed off in his right hand. He tosses it across the floor. Sentinel takes Robin off his shoulder and gives him to Ball Buster. Matt turns around.

MATT MURDOCK
Come on, let’s go.

Sentinel looks backwards at the trolls who are all now pissed off and jumping onto the bridge, roaring and hissing.

SENTINEL_08
You guys go ahead. I’m staying here.

MATT MURDOCK
You’re what?

SENTINEL_08
I can take these guys. The only important thing right now is that you get Ball Buster and his child to safety.

Matt pauses for a moment and then nods.

MATT MURDOCK
Fine; Ball Buster, Robin: come with me.

ROBIN
Wait, don’t go cool robot dude…It’s not safe!

SENTINEL_08
I’ll be fine, take care of Ball Buster.

And with that Sentinel runs forward, ripping apart a troll with his bare hands and splitting its arteries all over the floor. More trolls attack him and he is covered in a pile of them as he tears each one of them apart.
Ball Buster turns around and runs toward Matt as Robin awkwardly skids across the floor.

MATT MURDOCK
This is a tunnel, we need to jump down it. Give Robin here.

Ball Buster shakes his head.

BALL BUSTER
No, he stays with me.

Matt grabs Robin and pushes him into the door as Robin screams.

ROBIN
WHEEEEEEEE!!!

Then Matt jumps in after him.
Ball Buster stands in the hallway, scratching his head. He looks back. Sentinel is fighting the trolls off, but they are still coming. One troll climbs its way onto the ceiling, coming towards Ball Buster.

BALL BUSTER
Ah, screw it.

And with that, Ball Buster jumps down the door.

Master Chief

04-17-2006, 09:39 PM

INT. METAL SHAFT – NIGHT
Ball Buster floats down a long metal shaft, his momentum quickly gaining. He feels like he is at a water-park again, sliding down his favorite water-slide for the third time in a row. Then he realizes that is because there is water floating down here, green murky water that is leading him down into a black abyss…

INT. GREEN WATER – NIGHT
Ball Buster plummets into the green, murky water, unable to see or breath. He struggles to get to the surface but something gets in his way—a hand, to be exact. He jerks back and forth violently, and then finally resurfaces, gasping for breath.
When he does he sees what it was that got in his way…a dead, decaying ill body floats in front of him. Maggots and insects of all kinds eat away at its face. At one point this may have been a woman. Her white jacket is warn out and tarnished, and her body is the most disgusting vile thing Ball Buster has ever seen.
This is only one of the bodies that are all over the place in this room: dead, decaying bodies that lack any life whatsoever. Ball Buster grabs onto one of them and floats to a dock like structure that lay on the side of the room.

EXT. PLATFORM - NIGHT
Standing on this structure is Matt Murdock, his hair, jacket and gun stench and soggy. Pathetically he drops water droplets onto the ground. He laughs to himself when he sees Ball Buster wiggle onto the platform.

MATT MURDOCK
Look at all these dead bodies. There were never this many dead bodies last time I came here.

BALL BUSTER
You’ve been here before?

MATT MURDOCK
Yes, but it was never this bad…there were never this many bodies.

Ball Buster slides up the wall, trying to stand up. Slowly he regains his breath, and then he looks around.

BALL BUSTER
Where’s Robin?

No answer. The water trickles down into the green murky abyss, never to be cared about again. Ball Buster asks the question again, only this time louder.

BALL BUSTER
Matt, I’m talking to you. Have you seen Robin?

The blind redhead says nothing. He only looks into the several dead bodies sprawled across the room.

MATT MURDOCK
They must have ate them all; started with their hands and worked up the whole body.

Ball Buster shoves Matt against the wall.

BALL BUSTER
WHERE IS HE?

MATT
Who?

BALL BUSTER
Robin!

Matt pointed to the side.

MATT
I think I heard him go that way when I came in.

BALL BUSTER
Sweet Jesus—

Ball Buster jumps into the water frantically, leaving Matt standing there alone.

MATT MURDOCK
They all look so happy.

INT. GREEN MURKY WATER – NIGHT
Ball Buster swims down, looking for an opening of some kind. Finally he finds one, and swims down into another room. On the floor little fingers lay spread about at random. Ball Buster goes into the next room and comes up for air.

INT. SMALL CIRCULAR ROOM – NIGHT
Ball Buster comes up and lets the air flow into his lungs. The water is shallow enough for Ball Buster to walk around in here. Looking around Ball Buster smiles and breathes a side of relief.
In front of him Robin is standing next to a dead troll. In Robin’s hand he holds a handgun and stares at it blankly. Ball Buster smiles.

BALL BUSTER
Robin! You’re okay!

Robin kicks the troll’s dead body.

ROBIN
I killed it. I took this handgun from Matt’s coat and I shot him with it.

Ball Buster walks up to Robin, his feet soaked with water.

BALL BUSTER
Listen, I’m going to get you to safety, okay?

ROBIN
Hey, where’s that Matt guy? I thought he was with you.

BALL BUSTER
Matt…Matt had a little problem, but he’ll be fine. I think.

ROBIN
That’s okay, I didn’t really like him anyway. I liked his Robot friend though, he was cool.

BALL BUSTER
All right, well—do you know how to get out of here?

ROBIN
Not really.

Ball Buster sighs and sits down. Robin walks over and sits down next to him.

ROBIN
Ball Buster?

BALL BUSTER
Yes, Robin?

ROBIN
Thanks for letting me meet your friends and stuff.

Ball Buster smiles.

BALL BUSTER
You’re welcome.

Robin and Ball Buster sit there in silence. They are two people alone together: one the new father, one the new son. Nothing can get them. They are safe. And everything else, fades away.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. STAIRWAY – NIGHT
Spork wobbles down the stairs, panicked. There sitting on the floor is Pira, bruises on her arm and all across her legs.

SPORK
What happened? Who did this?

PIRA
Nobody…it’s nothing.

SPORK
No, it’s something all right. You’ve got bruises all across your leg! Tell me who this guy is so I can kick his hairy ass.

PIRA
Look, it was nothing really. Go back to doing whatever it is you do up there.

Pira goes to leave but Spork grabs a hold of her.

SPORK
No, it is something. Who did this?

Pira shook her head.

PIRA
Go away Spork, this isn’t time for you to play hero.

SPORK
I’m not playing hero, Pira. I worry about you.

PIRA
Really?

SPORK
Yes, I do.

PIRA
I…look, I just had an accident, that’s all.

SPORK
That’s all?

Pira bit her lip.

PIRA
Well, Matrix might’ve—

SPORK
WAIT, that ******* did this? Where is he now?

PIRA
Look, he was just asking about you. He thought…he thought that I was doing something with you.

SPORK
Like what? Oh crap, this isn’t about that polo game is it? How was I supposed to know there weren’t any pools in this place?

PIRA
No, it wasn’t the polo game Spork. He thought that I was seeing you too much.

SPORK
Well, I don’t think he should be hitting you. I think I should be the one hitting him. Or maybe kneeing him. In the crotch.

PIRA
Look Spork you don’t understand. Matrix is a nice guy, really.

SPORK
Nice guys don’t leave banana marks on women’s knees. Nice guys get trained how to be ancient warriors by teddy bears. Look, whatever Matrix did to you it obviously proves Teddy’s theory wrong, and you have to get as far away from him as possible.

PIRA
What theory?

SPORK
Wait, what are you talking about? Oh crap, was I thinking aloud again?

PIRA
You said Teddy had a theory about Matrix. What was it?

Spork looks off to the side and rubs his hands across his forehead.

SPORK
He uh…he told me Matrix wasn’t real.

PIRA
WHAT?

SPORK
Look, I’m not saying I believe him…

PIRA
Is that what you think of me? That I’m just some aloof girl that hits herself in the knees to try to what; what could I possibly accomplish with that?

SPORK
Look, that’s just what he said to me.

PIRA
Oh well, there you have it. “There’s Pira, looks like she’s talking to the imaginary guy again! Good old Pira, never disappoints!” I bet you don’t even care about me. I’m just some poor little lost puppy dog to you aren’t I?

SPORK
NO, damn it Pira. I don’t mean that. If he hit you that means he’s real and I can stop him.

PIRA
So wait, you only believe me now because I have a bruise on my knee?

SPORK
No, I believe you. I always believed you. It’s just…

PIRA
It’s just what? Now that your little stuffed animal friend says it true it must be, is that it?

SPORK
No, for Christ’s sake, I LOVE YOU!

There is a long, uncomfortable silence.

SPORK
Ah, goddamnit.

PIRA
You…you love me?

SPORK
No…I mean yes….I mean no…

Pira walks up and kisses Spork full on in the lips. She lets go and Spork stands there, confused. Pira walks backwards, afraid.

SPORK
Whoa…

PIRA
Oh no…I shouldn’t have done that, Matrix is gonna kill me.

Then Spork walks forward and kisses her back. They embrace passionately. She devours him next, and he is beautiful. The most handsome man she has ever laid her eyes on.

PIRA
Oh, damn.

SPORK
Yeah…

And then they stand there in each others arms and embrace one last time.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HALLWAY – NIGHT
The sword flies through the air and almost enters Hippie Hunters through when he speaks.

HIPPIE HUNTER
He’s watching you, you know.

Webmistress stops cold.

WEBMISTRESS
What?

HIPPIE HUNTER
He’s been watching all of us. I sought to find guidance from others, I was lost. But I found it only in him. I didn’t tell the others. I let them die, let them think they were in control.

WEBMISTRESS
Seriously, stop ****ing talking and let me kill you.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Inside my room is someone you might now. I believe you met him anyway.

WEBMISTRESS
Please, enlighten me. Who is it?

Underneath his mask, Hippie Hunter smiles.

HIPPIE HUNTER
Victor Von Doom.

And on the ground a tiny little ferret runs its way across the hallway happily.

FADE TO BLACK
HYPE: THE SERIES

Master Chief

04-17-2006, 09:44 PM

O-tay, if you either actually finished reading that or just skimmed to this post, I haven't really officially finished adding stuff to the second half. So I might upload an attachment which you can download to read the fully finished one after the ninth episode.

SapphirePrima

04-18-2006, 08:49 AM

This really made my week you guys. I've been going through some things. It was really good too. This had great charaterization and character development. Had a whole bunch of twists I wasn't expecting. :up:

TEDDY

04-18-2006, 10:49 AM

One word, two syllables: TEDDY!!! :up:

hippie_hunter

04-18-2006, 12:37 PM

This stuff should get turned into a cheap internet animated series :up:

musclesforsupes

04-18-2006, 01:10 PM

so what is this so called ''series'' about anyway huh?

Its about what happens when the Balki's, Lady Aberlines, Uncle Jesse, "Hot ****s" math net and old falcor get together.

Master Chief

05-01-2006, 10:29 PM

Trying to get up to a new page... :o Two episodes on one page is just insane. :O

So anyways... I'm about 3/4th done the new edit, and I lost my last edit so I'm not going to upload it like I said I would so mmmmk...

I don't think I'm getting to a new page. :(

Socrates

05-01-2006, 10:32 PM

You're working on episode 9 right?

Master Chief

05-01-2006, 10:36 PM

Not really working... just skimming and adding quips and things. Changing some double descriptions JJ frequently does.

Example: He came up from behind and grabbed her from behind.

Anyways, I am trying something new. I have uploaded a .doc which you can open in Microsoft word or wordpad, which I'm sure you have. I'll copy/paste the ep when we get to a new page, but I think this might be easier. And look... no censors this time! :eek:

Socrates

05-01-2006, 10:48 PM

The dialogue is great, as usual. And I'm thinking about editing episode 11, since JJ said I could. But I don't want to take forever. :(

Master Chief

05-01-2006, 10:51 PM

wtf, new page already?

Anyways dude, that "edit" took me like, fifteen minutes. Not even. Just added/changed desciptions/dialogue and ta-dum. There's an episode wrapped up.

Socrates

05-01-2006, 10:55 PM

I know it shouldn't take took long, so I'll start on it after I'm sure I can devote a full 15 or so minutes into just editing.

chaseter

05-01-2006, 11:45 PM

Name: Super Coeds

Past History: College kids with super powers unite after studying for finals to combat collegiate evils.

Super Powers (if any): All the cool ones.

Survival techniques: Passing exams with A+.

BATFREDDIE

05-06-2006, 01:07 PM

All you peeps waiting to gueststar will get your chance in our next ep. :o

hippie_hunter

05-06-2006, 01:33 PM

This series continues to be awesome!

SapphirePrima

05-06-2006, 09:40 PM

Master Chief

05-06-2006, 09:51 PM

JJ deserves alll the luff, I'm like the idea JJ Abrams and he's like the writer JJ Abrams. :o Holy crap, I just realized JollyJohnny and JJ Abrams have the same initials... whoa, whoa... and LOST recently ripped off his "I'm sorry." Line said by a person before they kill someone... holy crap, jollyjohnny is JJ Abrams. :( Anyways, he needs to get on writing episode 10. I think he's done with 11 and Socrates is working on that one.

SapphirePrima

05-06-2006, 09:57 PM

Master Chief

05-06-2006, 10:00 PM

Actually I don't think 11 is done, since me and him usually collaborate at 12 AM eastern time, and I'm dead tired and I mix words up. :(

Socrates

05-06-2006, 10:03 PM

I read through 11 earlier, and it I don't think it'll take me 2 months to finish my copy this time.

SapphirePrima

05-06-2006, 10:04 PM

Okay ya! :) No forever waits. I'll do my best and be patient.

Steve_Rogers

05-06-2006, 10:45 PM

Is it too late????

Anyway, if it isn't....

Name: Ichi Motte Uindo...................................lets say it's more of a title.

Past History: Hired assassin from Japan. He is skilled in the martial arts of Bajutsu, Iaido, and Kenjutsu. His title mean "One with Wind" because that he is as swift as the wind as he comes into the attack, and the same goes for leaving. He despises anyone with the title "Ninja" as he believes they just mock real assassins.

Super powers(if any): I wouldn't call them powers, but he has the uncanny ability to blend with the surrounding Earth if he doesn't want to be seen.

Survival Techniques: All he needs if his sword. In any situation, he can hunt for food, and drink it's blood. He doesn't even have to intrude on the enviroment. He leaves it just as it is when he came.

You may kill me off if you want, but let me at least kill another guest before I die.

Socrates

06-13-2006, 11:57 PM

I'll be centering all of this later, so yeah. Thanks to Clerk for editing. And I'm almost finished with episode 11, for anyone interested. :up:

EPISODE 10: SUPERFERRET
FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
EXT. CURTAINS - BLACK AND WHITE

The curtains pull open to reveal a boy draped over a copy of some kind of magazine.. It reads HYPE COMICS on the cover. The boy opens the comicbook and we see panels of a plane riding in the sky and then we zoom in on one certain panel of a building.

NARRATOR
The Hype is magnificent. Covered in blue walls, the structure stands out as if it is the Valley of God. But is it also a force of evil, a force of supreme retardation beyond which the mind can comprehend? And what if there was something inside, something horrible, something…unimaginable?

We zoom in on the panel some more until…

EXT. HYPE BULDING - NIGHT

Suddenly music starts to play, and we zoom past the building into the night sky draping a dark background. We continue out into the vast reaches of time.

EXT. SPACE

We see planets and they are all miraculous. Then we realize that they all look really cheesy and fake. Suddenly we back out and see that the space is only the background, the wallpaper for some kind of building. A man walks past, and we are in…

INT. PLANET HOLLYWOOD - DAY - TECHNICOLOR
A nerdy waiter walks down Planet Hollywood. This is ALEXIAN ZEPHYR. He smokes a joint when people don’t look at him, which is mostly all of the time. He runs into an even geekier looking guy who has a blowup doll he is searching for. This is DANIELISTHOR.

DANIELISTHOR
Hey you seen Monica Bellucci?

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Look behind you! She’s running out the door!

DANEILISTHOR
OH THERE YOU ARE BABY!

Danielisthor runs after blowup Monica Belluci doll and tackles her. He then takes off his pants and shoves his penis into the dolls mouth. The doll makes fake orgasm sounds as it does so.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Oh man, get that out of here before Immortalfire fires both of our asses.

DANIELISTHOR
BUT MONICA DOESN’T WANT TO LEAVE. AND I’M HER BODYGUARD!

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Since when do bodyguards **** the people they’re trying to protect?

DANIELISTHOR
Since Kevin Costner got himself a piece of that plum Whitney Houston.

Immmortalfire walks up to them, sees what’s going on, and almost trips on top of the crawling Monica doll.

IMMORTALFIRE
Alexian, what is this? I told you to stop bringing in your stoner friends into this place. They’re already trying to shut us down as it is, and the health inspectors are coming in today.

DANIELISTHOR
Larry the cable guy is coming here?

Immortalfire ignores this last comment.

IMMORTALFIRE
Look, just get him out of here. This isn’t ElectroUk’s soup shop, okay? I mean, is there some kind of club for you people or what?

DANIELISTHOR
Oh you want to join? JAL is leading the discussion tomorrow on how to respect your lady.

IMMORTALFIRE
Get the hell out of here.

Immortalfire turns back to Zephyr.

IMMORTALFIRE
And take a shower, you smell so badly of marijuana its ridiculous.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
But I haven’t masturbated all day man.

IMMORTALFIRE
You know what, I really don’t want to hear it. I don’t see how this day could possibly get any worse.

All of a sudden the ground starts to shake as if there was an earthquake, or just a very large man with a hatred of Campbell’s soup commercials.

IMMORTALFIRE
Goddamnit, why did Musclesforsupes have to come today?

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Ho, ho, ho! Hey Immortal, I was just wondering, was that ferret supposed to be on the menu?

IMMORTALFIRE
WHAT?

MUSCLESFORSUPES
The ferret outside. I was wondering if I could eat it.

IMMORTALFIRE
What ferret outside?

MUSCLESFORSUPES
The one that’s next to that hobo.

IMMORTALFIRE
What Hobo?

MUSCLESFORSUPES
The one that’s next to that hooker.

IMMORTALFIRE
What Hooker…never mind, just stay here. I gotta go take care of it before the health inspectors get here.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
That’s all great, but what’s the special today?

Immortalfire ignores Muscles and walks forward.

CUT TO: EXT. PLANET HOLLYWOOD - DAY
A brown clothed hobo stands outside Planet Hollywood reading a Coneheads comic. Immortalfire approaches him. The hobo sheepishly looks up from his comic book.

HOBO
Yes?

IMMORTALFIRE
Is there a ferret anywhere near here?

HOBO
A ferret?

IMMORTALFIRE
Yes, a ferret. You know, like a furry goddamn creature that runs around and ****s all over places like my store.

HOBO
Oh that ferret. Well I’ve seen it wondering down the streets and such, but no, I don’t know where it is now.

IMMORTALFIRE
Well good, then it’s not outside my store anymore.

HOBO
Actually by now it’s probably inside the store.

IMMORTALFIRE
WHAT? Ah, damnit.

Immortalfire sprints back into the store, the hobo looks around confused.

HOBO
What happened to my Coneheads comics?

Immortalfire sticks his head out the door.

IMMORTALFIRE
They died out with the movie son…. You should move on with your life, obviously Dan Ankroyd has.

INT. PLANET HOLLYWOOD – DAY
Immortalfire storms into Planet Hollywood walking very fast. Alexian Zephyr walks up to him.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Sir…

IMMORTALFIRE
Not now Lexie I’m busy, I have to find this damn squirrel.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
But sir you have a phone call from a Mr. Joe and a Mr. Pip, they say it’s urgent.

Immortalfire stops and sighs.

IMMORTALFIRE
Damn! Those are the health inspectors. If I don’t talk to them they might shut us down. Look Lexie, I want you to go out there and talk to anyone you can find and ask them if they’ve seen a ferret. It’s now your job to find it. I’m gonna take the call.

Alexian nods and goes the other way, Immortalfire heads to his office. His phone is off the hook on his desk. He picks it up.

IMMORTALFIRE
Immortal fire speaking, a pleasure to talk with you.

CUT TO: BUILDING - DAY
A man in a business suit is talking on the other end of the phone.

BUSINESS MAN
Hello, this is agent Pip. I’m sure you’ve heard of me and my partner Joe.

CUT TO: IMMORTALFIRE’S OFFICE – DAY
Immortalfire looks nervously out his door at everything going on inside the store.

IMMORTALFIRE
Oh yes, I’ve heard great things about you. You’re supposed to be the greatest health inspectors in California.

AGENT PIP
Oh but we’re not supposed to be, we are Mr. Fire. I suppose you also heard that we’re coming over there to check over on you today.

IMMORTALFIRE
Yup…yup I heard that one too.

AGENT PIP
So I take it everything’s in great condition there then?

IMMORTALFIRE
Oh yeah, yeah, everything’s just peachy down here.

CUT TO: INT. PLANET HOLLYWOOD – DAY
Alexian Zephyr is walking down the main hall past people, looking under tables, anywhere he thinks he can find the ferret. He approaches a small boy.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Yo kid you seen a ferret anywhere?

MR. THING
Nah ***** I ain’t seen **** homie.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Damn.

Alexian looks around the place. He sees nothing but people eating and having a decent meal. Someone taps him on the back.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Whoa dude you scared me!

DANIELISTHOR
I know, I’m good at that. I scared Monica once.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
What’d you do, pull down your pants?

DANIELISTHOR
No she likes it when I do that. Hey you want to become free? I can help you, with a puff of this little pipe, all your troubles will go away.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
No time, I’m supposed to be looking for a ferret for Immortalfire.

DANIELISTHOR
Ah the ferret’s probably not even in the restaurant anymore. C’mon.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Ah, what the hell.

Danielisthor and Alexian take off in the other direction…

CUT TO: IMMORTALFIRE’S OFFICE – DAY
Agent Pip is saying something on the phone that is causing Immortalfire to turn angry.

AGENT PIP
So Mr. Fire, I assume all the files are in order over there.

Immortalfire looks over at the big wad of papers on his desk.

IMMORTALFIRE
Oh, of course. Why wouldn’t they be?

AGENT PIP
I assume you know Mr. Fire that if you are in any way lying to us it could result in the loss of your job.

IMMORTALFIRE
Okay, first of all, my last name isn’t Fire it’s Washington—

Immortalfire cuts off in conversation and stares at something in front of him.

AGENT PIP
Hello? Mr. Fire, can you hear me? This is serious Mr. Fire.

In front of Immortalfire, sitting on his desk drawer is a ferret, looking up at him with big wide eyes.

IMMORTALFIRE
I’m gonna have to let you go.

AGENT PIP
Wait, Mr. Fire, stop this right this instant! This is a violation of health—

Immortalfire hangs up the phone and looks back up at the ferret.

IMMORTALFIRE
Okay, you furry bastard…

The ferret jumps off the desk and runs out of the room. Immortalfire darts out of his chair and chases him out of his office. Immortalfire chases after him running past garbage cans and garbage disposals until he sees Musclesforsupes just standing there. The ferret runs up to him and he picks him up by the tail.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Hey, there you are little guy. Want some fritos?

IMMORTALFIRE
Give him to me Muscles.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
But you really don’t need him anyway, I’ll just take him off your hands.

The ferret chirps and fidgets around. It stares up at Immortalfire.

IMMORTALFIRE
Give him to me.

Musclesforsupes shakes his head.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
No, you can’t have him.

IMMORTALFIRE
Don’t be ridiculous Muscles.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
NO, You’re the one being ridiculous! Just let me take him!

IMMORTALFIRE
I can’t let you do that.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
He’s mine, understand? He belongs to me!

The ferret stares up at Muscles. Immortalfire watches, his hands twisting.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Look at him. He’s staring into my soul. He knows everything about me.

The ferret jumps out of Musclesforsupes’s hands and lands into Immortalfire’s. Immortalfire takes the animal in his clutches and opens the door. Musclesforsupes stares at his empty hands in shock and confusion.

IMMORTALFIRE
Goodbye Muscles.

Immortalfire slams the door shut.

CUT TO: INT. BACK ROOM - DAY
Alexian and Danielisthor are smoking in the back room of planet Hollywood.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
One thing I don’t understand though dude…why would anyone wanta have sex with someone who was in Passion of the Christ?

DANIELISTHOR
It gives a whole new meaning when she says “Oh Jesus”.

Alexian looks nervously around.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
S**t dude, I better go get some knives from Immortalfire’s office.

DANIELISTHOR
Why?

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Cause knives are awesome dude.

CUT TO: IMMORTALFIRE’S OFFICE
Immortalfire is sitting in his office as Alexian enters the room, his eyes dead shot red.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Hey dude, where’s your knives?

IMMORTALFIRE
They’re on the counter.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Whoa, you’re not gonna yell at me or anything?

IMMORTALFIRE
I have much more pressing matters at hand, Lex.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Okay, well whatever…

Alexian heads to the door but sees a cage marked “KLEMP’S ANIMALS” with a ferret inside.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
You kept it.

IMMORTALFIRE
Yes I did. Now get out of my office. Let me know if those agent freaks show up

Alexian shrugs. Alexian walks out of the room, Immortalfire opens the desk drawer and takes out a lighter. He plays with it, feeling it with his thumb. Then slowly he falls asleep.

CUT TO: FOREST - DAY
We zoom over a forest, past thousands of timber trees. There is something under the trees, it may be a camp fire.

FEMININE VOICE
You must find the cave.

We see a series of images flashing at us:
1. Children running through the mountains
2. Fire everywhere
3. A girl bickering with her sister
4. Red sunglasses hanging over a fence
5. Danielisthor running around a cave and carrying a torch
6. A blue building surrounded by electric fences on every side
7. James Bond on the cover of a comic book
8. The Klemp animal store
9. Fish swimming around an aquarium
10. Smiling people in sombreros
11. A fat kid wearing bling beating up smaller kids
12. Fire engulfing what may be a man

The forest is back again, only now it is engulfed in flames. The fire is unrelentless. Trees wilt and fall over against the might of it. Past the trees we see a mountain and as we get closer we see a cave. Standing in the cave, watching everything that is going on, is IMMORTALFIRE. It is he who caused the flames.

Socrates

06-13-2006, 11:57 PM

FADE TO WHITE
FADE IN
Immortalfire startles awake. In front of him, Agent Joe and Agent Pip wait impatiently.

AGENT JOE
Are you ready to show us around, Mr. Fire?

The manager of Planet Hollywood looks around, completely out of it.

IMMORTALFIRE
What…oh yeah, yeah of course.

AGENT JOE
Good, because we wouldn’t want to get in your way.

IMMORTALFIRE
Of course not. Follow me.

Immortalfire leads them both out of his room. Had he stopped to look around, he would have realized that the Klemp animal cage was empty.

CUT TO: HALLWAY OF PLANET HOLLYWOOD - DAY
Agent Joe and Agent Pip follow Immortalfire through the hallway.

AGENT JOE
Where are you taking us?

IMMORTALFIRE
The kitchen. This is where we make most of the food here at Planet Hollywood.

CUT TO: KITCHEN
Pots and pans are everywhere, spread across the floor. Spilt food scatters across the place. On the title floor little ferret tracks lead to the door.

IMMORTALFIRE
….. Ah I see you found our new “fun environment” event… you wanna see the waiters dance?

AGENT PIP
This place is getting shut down first thing tomorrow morning.

EXT. PLANET HOLLYWOOD - DAY
The front sign on the entrance goes from “Open” to “Closed”.

CUT TO: BACK ALLEYWAY - NIGHT
A match is flicked open, letting a bright light come through. The flame lights the joint of Alexian Zephyr’s joint. Danielisthor, who lit the match, flicks it and puts it back in his pocket.

DANIELISTHOR
What are you going to do now, dude?

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Now I must live amongst the shadows in the world of man.

DANIELISTHOR
What the hell are you talking about Lex?

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
You see before your eyes someone who is now more than he once was. I observe the history, present, and future that I am a part of, and will soon make my presence known in the world. My acension isn't a matter of debate; it is only a question of when I will choose to claim what is rightfully mine. For now, I am patient.

DANIELISTHOR
I think you’ve had one too many snacks man.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Perhaps, but maybe not. Only time can tell.

An attractive man in his 20’s with black hair walks by. He is wearing a blue shirt and black Levis.

GUY
Hey, Daniel, Lexie. How’s it going?

DANIELISTHOR
Hey John. You want a joint?

JOHN
No thanks, I don’t smoke anymore. Looks like your store closed down.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Yeah, it happened this morning. Immortalfire looked pretty calm though, kept talking about a cave or something.

JOHN
Well, I’ll see you guy’s later. I gotta get back to work, make sure Marty’s not in trouble again.

ALEXIAN ZEPHYR
Later.

John takes off in the opposite direction.

EXT. STREETS OF LOS ANGELUS - NIGHT
Cars zip by as John rides through the streets of Los Angelus on his bike. He stops when he gets to a big blue building with gigantic green neon lights. They said in big letters “KLEMP ANIMAL STORE”. He walks in the back door.

INT. KLEMP ANIMAL STORE - NIGHT
John walks into the store, throwing his stuff on a counter. The room is messy, clothes and animal food hastily thrown on the floor. At a table a firmly built black man feeds a bunny rabbit.

JOHN
Hi Marv. You ready for some lovin?

MARTIN
Not right now John, I’m busy making omelets.

JOHN
But I’m horny as hell and need some lovins!

MARTIN
Not right now, sweet cakes. Just let me put this oven to “extra hot”.

JOHN
I’ve got just the thing to stick into your oven.

MARTIN
Calm down sweety I’ll be there in just a second.

JOHN
But I’m already half way.

CRASH. There is a noise as if a thousand plates are breaking.

MARTIN
What was that?

JOHN
I don’t know, you better pull down your pants so I can get a better look.

MARTIN
I’m serious, John, it sounded like it came from the other room.

JOHN
I’m serious too. Pull down your pants.

KLUNK. Another crash, this time louder and probably closer to where they were. Martin takes off his pink oven mits.

MARTIN
I better go check this out.

Martin walks down the hallway, John follows him.

MARTIN
It’s probably just one of the animals, they must have got out again.

JOHN
It better not be that damn jackcool. I hate his furry ass.

Littered across the floor are different kinds of animal food. Trash is scattered everywhere. On the grounds tracks follow into the opposite room. Martin bends down to look at it.

JOHN
Oh ****. I have to clean this up, don’t I?

MARTIN
It looks like these tracks were left by a ferret.

JOHN
That can’t be possible, we don’t have any ferrets in the store.

MARTIN
Yes sugar plumb, I know that. It must have snuck in from outside.

JOHN
Can we get to the BJs already, I’m starting to get antsy.

Martin gets up and follows the foot tracks. John reluctantly follows him, messing around with his pockets as he does so. The tracks continue until they see the ferret sitting there in a pile of animal food and mess. John picks him up by the tail, looking at him.

MARTIN
So, what do you want to do now?

JOHN
I want to ****.

MARTIN
No, I meant about the ferret.

JOHN
We can keep it in our store. I see no problems. Do you?

MARTIN
No. We can teach it all of our values, make it our own.

JOHN
Martin…it’s a ferret.

MARTIN
So? It still has to have morals.

JOHN
If you say so. Let’s get it on.

John lets go of the ferrets tail, allowing it to run happily around the store.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. KLEMP FAMILY ANIMAL STORE - DAY
A fanatic approaches John as he sits at the counter. The man is wearing long robes and has long robes.

FANATIC
It is I, God!

JOHN
Please keep it down, Red X. I don’t want people to think this store is some kind of occult.

RED X
But I am God! Hear me roar!

JOHN
How bout no?

Red X, ashamed leaves the store. Musclesforsupes enters in as he leaves.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Hey John.

JOHN
Hey muscles. Go ahead and look around, there really is nothing better to do.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Hey, hey, whatever you say! RANDOR!

JOHN
Sure, whatever.

John goes back to reading his book…but not for long.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Oh my god…you have it.

JOHN
Excuse me?

MUSCLESFORSUPES
The ferret, where did you get it?

John puts his book down and stands up.

JOHN
That’s not for sale.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
But I want it.

Muscles buts his hand in the ferret box; John grabs Muscles and tries to pull him away from it.

JOHN
I said it wasn’t for sale!

MUSCLESFORSUPES
I have to have it! It’s calling my name!

John pushes Muscles out of the way. He falls backwards into hundreds of animal cages, pushing them open. Dogs bark, cats meow triumphantly. Musclesforsupes looks up at John in fear.

JOHN
Get out of my store.

A woman stands gaping at the whole thing. John turns and sneers at her.

JOHN
What are you looking at, whore? Buy something.

CUT TO: PARKING GARAGE - DAY
Martin walks out of his car, slaming the door. His feet make loud noises as he walks down the parking garage. He walks up to a ramp and then stops dead cold. Standing not too far from him is a hobo reading a Coneheads comic.

HOBO
Hi.

Martin turns and runs away in horror. As he runs pays no attention to what is going on around him. A car hits him going full speed.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT
Martin sits down in a hospital bed, an I-V container next to him. John walks in, wearing a trenchcoat. The nurse escorts him to a seat next to the bed, then leaves the room.

JOHN
Hey Marty. How you doing?

John sits in the silence, thinking. He pulls a handgun out of his coat.

JOHN
You remember my gun, honey pumpkin? I brought it here. I have no particular idea why, but I did.

John coughs into his hand and puts his gun back in his pocket.

JOHN
When I heard what happened, I couldn’t…I couldn’t believe it. You were…are the only person I’ve ever loved in this world. I have no other friends. My family won’t even talk to me anymore, I think it’s that whole “gay” thing, I guess.

The hospital fan buzzed continuously above them.

JOHN
Look, I just want you to know that I know you’re going to get through this. You’ve gotten through everything else. So…I was never good at this stuff. I’ll see you later.

He gets up to leave.

MARTIN
John…

John stops dead cold.

MARTIN
The ferret…

The cardiac goes out of control: Martin’s pulse is beating fast. Martin starts to spasm, twitching all over his body. The nurse runs into the room, confused.

NURSE
What’s going on? Send for the doctor!

John backs away slowly from the door. Panicked young doctors rush into the room.

PANICKED YOUNG DOCTOR #1
We need to get oxygen back into his lungs!

John sits down in a chair outside the room. He can hear everything. Nobody is watching him, they are too preoccupied with what’s going on inside the room. He takes out his gun.

PANICKED YOUNG DOCTOR #2
His heart is pumping out of control! Jesus, what’s happening to him? He’s not gonna make it!

John checks to see if there are any bullets in the chamber. There are.

PANICKED YOUNG DOCTOR #1
We’re losing him!

Moments later, his heart stops. John takes the gun, points it to his head, and pulls the trigger. The gunshot is muffled as Martin’s pulse comes back again.

PANICKED YOUNG DOCTOR #2
His pulse is coming back! He is going to make it!

The nurse runs out of the room happily.

NURSE
HE’S ALIVE! HE’S--

She stops and sees the dead man lying on the chair with a gun in his hand. Behind him blood drips down the wall. John has committed suicide.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
EXT. SUBWAY – DAY
Musclesforsupes exits Subway, a sandwich in his hands. He goes down the alleyway and sees a hobo reading a Conehead comic. He sits down next to the man, and offers him part of his sandwich.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Hey, you hungry?

HOBO
You’re…you’re offering me your sandwich?

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Sure, you need it more than I do.

HOBO
Thank you. It’s just…people don’t usually offer me food like that.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
I’m not most people. Hey, I have this lottery ticket I’m playing too. You want in on that action?

The hobo shakes his head.

HOBO
No, I couldn’t.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Ah, come on. Just take it man, what have you got to loose?

HOBO
Allright. But you’ve given me so much, what do I have to give you?

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Well, for starters, you could tell me your name.

HOBO
It’s Mirko.

Muscles and Mirko shake hands.

MUSCLESFORSUPES
Nice to meet you, Mirko. Now I have to get going, so I’ll see you around.

Muscles takes off, Mirko looks down at his card.

MIRKO
Thank you!

MUSCLESFORSUPES
No problem!

Muscles walks down the street, Mirko puts the lottery card in his pocket.

MIRKO
Huh, it may turn out to be my lucky day after all.

On the ground, a little ferret runs around happily.

FADE TO BLACK

HYPE: THE SERIES

hippie_hunter

07-06-2006, 01:33 AM

When is the next episode going to come dammit. I'm wondering about my connection to that damn mysterious ferret :mad:

Movies205

07-06-2006, 01:35 AM

I love these things because JJ always asks me for help and I always fail him except those few times...

Grimm Reaper

07-06-2006, 01:36 AM

I wrote a little bit of episode 11, I feel like I won the special olympics. I hope it gets kept in 'cause it's funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny. :)

Socrates

07-06-2006, 01:42 AM

I might have to edit it out, and use it for another time if I ever edit again. :o

hippie_hunter

08-20-2006, 08:21 PM

It's been a long time since the last episode. It's like waiting for the new issue of the Ultimates.

SapphirePrima

08-20-2006, 08:23 PM

It's been a long time since the last episode. It's like waiting for the new issue of the Ultimates.

:mad: I hate these absurb waits for this!

Elisha Cuthbert

08-20-2006, 08:50 PM

:mad: I hate these absurb waits for this!soccy, I'm sorry, I've had an infinite amount of patience for him again. But now it's looking like he may never edit another episode again if he doesn't give me the edit by either tonight or tommorrow. I have written four eps while waiting for his ass to be done with one ****ing edit, which shouldn't even take that long. :down

Socrates

08-20-2006, 08:56 PM

I know, why the f**k does it take me months to edit one f**king episode? :confused:

Elisha Cuthbert

08-20-2006, 09:07 PM

I know, why the f**k does it take me months to edit one f**king episode? :confused:I think it's because instead of just editing, you try to rewrite the entire episode from scene to scene. All you have to do is minor touchups, you don't have to go comando on the ****ing thing. I remember your first edit for me was PERFECT, but since then you've been stalling and i usually end up with nothing. :o

SapphirePrima

08-20-2006, 09:13 PM

I know, why the f**k does it take me months to edit one f**king episode? :confused:

:down

The Last Meatbag

08-20-2006, 09:15 PM

Indeed

Elisha Cuthbert

08-20-2006, 09:32 PM

Soccy, I hope you know that this makes me seem like an ******* because i'm gonna have to have MC edit the episode if you don't finish by tonight...AGAIN. And i think he's getting kind of tired of being the fall guy. :mad:

Speedball

08-20-2006, 09:44 PM

Name: Jacen Solo
Past History: Son of Han and Leia, Twin Brother of Jaina and older Brother of Anakin. Trained in the Jedi arts by his Uncle Luke on the moon, Yavin IV. Super Powers (if any):He's a Jedi, but better. Almost more powerful than his Uncle.
Survival techniques: He's a f***in Jedi people.

hope it's not too late to sign up.

Socrates

08-20-2006, 09:49 PM

Elisha Cuthbert

08-20-2006, 09:58 PM

No, no. I'm working on the edit now, just a few touch ups instead of full rewrites. :obadass. :o:up::) And lol at Jacen Solo, I have no idea how i'm going to work that into the script, thanks. :mad:

tzarinna

08-20-2006, 10:18 PM

:confused: this theard is over a year old,how does this work :huh:

Elisha Cuthbert

08-20-2006, 10:23 PM

:confused: this theard is over a year old,how does this work :huh:damn...maybe i do need to write more.:o:(:(:(:(

SapphirePrima

08-20-2006, 10:55 PM

:confused: this theard is over a year old,how does this work :huh:

Master Cheif, Soc, and co write an epp/edit every 4 months. And you could make a character but you might not see your character for like 1 year or so:( :O

tzarinna

08-20-2006, 11:12 PM

Okay,thanks

Master Chief

08-21-2006, 12:17 AM

No, no. I'm working on the edit now, just a few touch ups instead of full rewrites. :o

lol, it should be like that all the time. :confused:

Socrates

08-21-2006, 03:37 AM

EPISODE 11: THE LAST OF THE MEATBAGS

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
EXT. STREET
A cool-looking Jamaican guy, playing on drums, sits alone on a dark street corner. Spork runs out from an alley, looking drunk. He fixes his sight on the Jamaican guy.

SPORK
...Hey buddy, do you believe in Santa Claus?

The Jamaican guy continues playing the drums. Spork looks around, noticing how deserted the street is. He goes back into the alley. He comes back out almost instantly, holding a glass bottle in his hand.

SPORK
I asked you a question, motherf**ker!

Spork goes over to the Jamaican guy and breaks the bottle over his head. He unzips his pants and pisses on the poor guy, giggling random words out of his drooling mouth. Spork shakes, then spits on the guy. On the opposite street, a woman, Pira, wearing a white blouse and drenched in water, walks over to Spork. In slow motion.

SPORK
Hey baby.

As Pira gets closer to Spork she begins to unbutton her shirt, while "After Hours" by Rilo Kiley plays in the backround.

PIRA
You know how much I've always liked you, Spork...

CUT TO: INT. BATHROOM STALL
A man is sitting on the toilet, masturbating furiously. Then he stops for no apparent reason, and stares at his hand.

TWITCH
Why do I have five fingers?

Suddenly, the bathroom stall is kicked in Van Damme-style. In walks Teddy, a small teddy bear.

TWITCH
Aahhh!

TEDDY
Masturbating furiously, you were--

TWITCH
What the f**k?

Teddy ***** his head to the side.

TWITCH
Are you real?!

TEDDY
Aah, figments of someone's imagination, we are.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. STAIRWAY - CONTINUOUS
Spork awakens with a jolt; Sweat pours down his face. Pira lays next to him in a blanket. Spork wipes the hair out of her face, smiles, and gets up.

INT. TOP FLOOR - CONTINUOUS
He yawns as he reaches the top, and lazily looks around. Sunlight shines down on him from the rooftops, reflecting on his face. He walks up onto the attic-like room.

SPORK
Teddy?

No reply.

SPORK
This is important, damn you.

Spork scratches his head.

SPORK
My penis has been speaking to me lately, and yesterday, it said, "You'd be a miserable loser without me; without motivation." Which was depressing...

Still no reply.

SPORK
Ah, you’re not even here are you?

And then he sees it lying on the floor. It is a Teddy Bear with a bullet hole in the middle, with smoke issuing from it.

SPORK
What the fu--?

And then, Spork is smacked over the head, and he falls through the floor and down into eternity.

FADE TO BLACK
FLASHBACK
INT. PLANE - DAY
Spork walks down the plane, past the crystal meth, and walks into the cockpit. Spork's new partner, Victor Von Doom, sits in the pilots chair messing with his headgear.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Hey retard! Put on your goddamn gear, and stop standing there.

SPORK
Oh yeah, sorry.

Victor shakes his head. Spork sits down and looks at his reflection in the mirror. He stares at it for a long time, thinking.

VICTOR VON DOOM
PUT ON THAT GODDAMN GEAR!

Spork puts on his pilot gear, while Victor puts his head into his hand.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Great, I ask for a partner and I get this guy.

Then they take off, and Spork looks down at the streets and the city below, knowing that he’ll never see them again.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
A MAN'S BLUE EYES LAZILY OPEN
INT. STAIRWAY - DAY
Decaying pieces of matter lie scattered about all over. Spork turns on his side, in agony. Then he looks up and his expression turns into one of puzzlement. Standing there is Pira, wrapped in her blanket. Spork wipes off some dust and gets up.

SPORK
Pira?

PIRA
How... how did you get down here?

Spork points upwards.

SPORK
Er, I fell through your roof.

Silence.

SPORK
Hey, you haven’t seen any teddy bears around, have you?

PIRA
Have I seen any what?

SPORK
I'm looking for this... uh, teddy bear. Seen one around here?

PIRA
No, Spork. I haven't. Listen. You should leave soon... okay? I have to get dressed, an--

SPORK
Right. Okay. I'll just... leave, then.

Spork starts walking up the stairs, and stops halfway.

SPORK
Pira? You know the airplane that I landed here on?

PIRA
What about it?

SPORK
What if it didn’t exist?

PIRA
What do you mean?

SPORK
Nevermind, it’s not important. I’ll talk to you later, Pira.

FADE TO BLACK
FLASHBACK
INT. COCKPIT - CONTINUOUS
Spork is sitting next to Victor in the cockpit, singing to himself.

SPORK (Singing)
--the b**ch said something to make me mad. She said something that I couldn't believe, so I grabbed that stupid b--

VICTOR VON DOOM
What are you singing?

SPORK
I was reminiscing, actually...

VICTOR VON DOOM
Listen, our next dispatch is in Texas. There’s a powerful meth dealer there that owns a casino. We’re going to be meeting him at his card table.

SPORK
So... what exactly do you want me to do?

VICTOR VON DOOM
How the **** am I supposed to know?!

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. TOP FLOOR - DAY
Spork walks up into the top floor of the Hype, and waiting for him is Teddy, sitting on top of a box in the middle of the room.

TEDDY
Imagine you're feeling a sense of anger I do.

SPORK
That’s very receptive of you, you stuffed plastic whore. Tell me; just what the hell is going on?

TEDDY
Summoned you have been.

SPORK
Summoned? What the f**k does that even mean?

TEDDY
Sorry I am. Too late it is to give up. Asked for training you have. Prepare yourself you must.

SPORK
Prepare myself for what? Oh, this is such bullcrap.

Teddy shakes his head in agreement.

TEDDY
Bullcrap it is indeed.

Teddy then disappears completely, leaving Spork to scratch his head.

SPORK
Teddy? Hello?

A sharp, feminine squeal breaks Spork’s concentration. It’s coming from the stairs. Spork walks forward, going down into the staircase below. He stops at the stair, pulls out a gun and aims and walks forward.

INT. STAIRCASE - DAY
Spork walks down the staircase, keeping his gun in front of him. Now there is a sound of sharp masculine laughter.

MAN (O.S.)
Spork, you pussy, I knew you would bring a gun.

SPORK
Where is she, Matrix?

Matrix walks slowly out of some shadows, wearing a tuxedo and top hat. Looking very much like Fred Astaire.

MATRIX
Oh let’s not worry about that, daddio. Why don’t you look after ole number one, just like you always have. Am I right, my man?

SPORK
Where is she, Matrix?

MATRIX
Ah, now you’re assuming she’s alive. Which is a bad sign. Would you like to see what has happened?

SPORK
You bas--

Spork shoots twice. We see shock come onto Spork’s face. Matrix has vanished. Down on the ground Pira is crying in fear. She looks up at him with hatred as tears pour down her face.

SPORK
Pira...?

PIRA
Why did you try to shoot me?

And behind her a bullet-hole is imprinted upon the wall.

FADE TO BLACK
FLASHBACK
EXT. AIRPLANE - CONTINUOUS
Spork and Victor walk out of the plane wearing Posh 1980's Suits. Walking in slow motion, looking real pimp.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Don’t do anything stupid. Clerk runs his criminal empire with an iron hand.

SPORK
Okay, gotcha.

INT. CASINO - CONTINUOUS
Spork and Victor walk into the casino. Over at HWD's Pub and Bar, awaits Clerk. Drinking a beer and wearing a white tuxedo. Behind him, sit two girls wearing promiscuous clothing.

CLERK
Victor. Long time, no see. Who’s the lackey?

SPORK
What the fu--

VICTOR VON DOOM
Oh him? He's new. Let's just get this over with. You don't like me, and you know I don't like you.

CLERK
But Victor. We are gentlemen, I’m sure we can handle ourselves just as I have handled this beer.

VICTOR VON DOOM
We'll make the trade, and then we're out of here.

CLERK
Ah, business. Is that all you can ever think about? You need to calm down, and relax.

Clerk and Victor continue speaking, and the two girls walk over to Spork. Spork seems very unconfident as they put their hands across his shoulder.

HISPANIC GIRL
Hello, my name is Cindy, and this my friend, Cindy.

SPORK
Uh... Hi, Cindy.

CINDY
Now say hi to Cindy.

SPORK
Hi Cindy.

Victor turns around.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Spork, what the hell are you doing?

CLERK
Just ignore him, 20 fingered man. We do have business to do after all.

Spork continues speaking with Cindy and Cindy.

CINDY
Tell us, Spork. Have you ever been with a woman?

SPORK
Uh...

INT. HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT
Cindy throws Spork onto the bed, ripping off his shirt and kissing him all over. Spork looks up confused. Cindy 2 comes in the room with two other women.

CINDY
Spork, these are our friends Jessica and Jessica. They have some questions for you.

SPORK
Questions?

JESSICA
Tell us where your meth shipment is coming from.

CINDY
Yes Spork, tell us.

Spork looks up at the Cindy on top of him, she starts un-dressing herself.

SPORK
Okay.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. STAIRWAY - DAY
Spork stands over Pira, the gun in his hand. On the floor, Pira, crying in fear.

PIRA
Spork...

Spork grimaces.

SPORK
Teddy did this to us. Pira, look. You need to stay here.

Spork heads for the stairs, but Pira stops him.

PIRA
I've been thinking about the things you said earlier. You may have been right.

Spork nods, and races upstairs.

INT. TOP FLOOR - DAY

SPORK
WHERE ARE YOU TEDDY?

TEDDY (O.S.)
Weapon you must choose Spork. More wisely this time should your choosing be.

Teddy jumps out of the shadows and dropkicks Spork in the face. Spork lashes out in anger, only to see that he is no longer there.

SPORK
Okay, you want to go? Let’s go.

Spork walks up to the weapons rack and opens it. He withdraws a katana, unsheathing it. A kick lashes out on the back of Spork’s head.

TEDDY
Let your guard down you have.

Sporks turns around, only to find that Teddy too has a sword, long and twice the stuffed animal’s size. Spork takes a step backwards.

SPORK
Let’s go, old man.

They charge at each other, swords clashing. Teddy jumps upwards onto Spork’s sword, summersaults in the air and kicks him in the face with both of his feet. Spork, angry, swings his sword at the bear but Teddy blocks with his sword. Teddy appears to be levitating in the air.

TEDDY
Proved yourself to be much better than I once thought you could be, yes. Your power is great, control it you must. Hmm-hm.

SPORK
Stop it with the hypocritical Chinese Gandhi bulls**t already. I've heard it enough times.

Teddy jumps back and forth, escaping everyone of Spork’s blows. Teddy jumps up to the highest box at the side of the room. Spork stops. Calming himself down.

TEDDY
Out of control you have gotten. But like you Spork I do. Proven yourself worthy you have.

SPORK
Worthy of what?

TEDDY
Becoming my successor.

SPORK
No.

Spork kicks over the boxes, sending them flying across the room. Teddy jumps onto his face, hugging it.

TEDDY
Join me you must. Hm, hmm!

SPORK
No!

Spork rips Teddy off his face. He kicks him in the stomach, sending Teddy flying across the room until his back collides with the wall. Bending down, Spork picks up his sword. Teddy watches him and smiles.

TEDDY
Alas, gotten too good for me you have. Training complete it is. Now set you free I must.

SPORK
Set me free from what?

TEDDY
Yourself.

In a flash Teddy jumps up and kicks Spork in the stomach. He falls backwards, down a hole, falling forever.

Socrates

08-21-2006, 03:37 AM

FADE TO BLACK
FLASHBACK
INT. HOTEL SUITE - CONTINUOUS
Spork lies spread out on the bad , staring happily up at the ceiling. He starts to look around the room; condoms, womens underwear, bottles of liquor and a joint.

VICTOR VON DOOM (O.S.)
Where the f**k have you been?

Spork then notices Victor standing in the room.

SPORK
Did I ever tell you that I’m super hot?

VICTOR VON DOOM
I swear to god, Spork...

SPORK
Cause I am dude, you know. Sexy as hell.

VICTOR VON DOOM
What happened in here? And why am I even asking?

SPORK
I had a rendevous with Clerk’s sexy assistants. All they wanted was for me to answer a few questions.

Victor slowly turns his head to turn around and look at his partner.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Oh god... you didn't. Please tell me, you didn't?

SPORK
I told them everything. And then they showed me their nipples.

Victor's face turns into a shade of purple.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Do you realize what it is you've done, dammit?

SPORK
Yes. I’ve had sex for the first time, and it was an orgy.

RESTAURANT - DAY
Chuck Jones’s restaurant is crowded with people, most of them eager children. At one end there is a telephone booth in which Victor is currently situated in. Waitresses in outlandish outfits walk by him as he talks on the phone.

The restaurant is crowded with people, most of them children. Victor stands in a telephone booth, while Waitresses in outlandish outfits, walk past the booth, winking at him him.

VICTOR VON DOOM
No, goddamnit. I called because I want a new partner.

MASTER CHIEF
Hey Victory buddy, I really f**king wish I could you you with that but I'm busy sexing up these f**king chicks. Maybe he just needs to get on the ropes a bit f**king more, you know? Have a f**king training session and s**t.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Well that would be great if you could do that for me. He's getting me into some crazy trouble, and I think Clerk is going to try to steal the meth.

MASTER CHIEF
I really wish I could help you, f**k-a-doodle-do I do, but you’re like f**king Darfur Victor: nobody gives two s**ts about you anymore. Now, take care of the job I assigned you, and have a great f**king time! Oh s**t, I gotta take a piss.

There is a click on the other end and Victor reluctantly hangs up the phone. At a booth not too far away Spork grabs the ass of a passing-by waitress.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Goddammit.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. STAIRWAY - DAY
Spork awakes again in the stairway, and now Pira is standing above him.

SPORK
Uh...

PIRA
You were right.

SPORK
What?

Spork gets up, confused. Bruises all over his face.

PIRA
Matrix wasn’t real. I told him to go away and he just... disappeared. Like he was never there.

SPORK
Well, I don’t know Pira, maybe...

PIRA
No, you were right. He wasn’t real.

Pira runs her hands through her hair.

PIRA
I made him up Spork. I... created him so I wouldn’t feel scared anymore. So I would have someone to protect me. I think that’s why he’s gone now.

SPORK
What do you mean?

PIRA
Because I have you.

Pira rests her head on Spork’s shoulder, snuggling up against him.

FADE TO BLACK
FLASHBACK
INT. RESTAURANT - DAY
Victor seats himself across from Spork.

VICTOR VON DOOM
You have no idea, do you?

SPORK
What?

VICTOR VON DOOM
What were you before you joined up with me?

SPORK
What does it matter? Now I’m superhot.

VICTOR VON DOOM
They did this to you, didn’t they? They gave you this face.

Spork goes silent, looking down angrily at his spoon.

VICTOR VON DOOM
I want you to get off the path that you’re heading down now. It’s not going to end good, and you know that.

SPORK
But I had sex with four women!

VICTOR VON DOOM
Jesus, Spork, is that what you want in your life? Sex, drugs and rock and roll? You’re smarter than that.

SPORK
Just because I’m smart doesn’t mean I don’t get to f**k a few people along the way.

VICTOR VON DOOM
No. But it doesn’t give you the right to waste your life.

SPORK
Yes it does. So f**k off, already.

VICTOR VON DOOM
No, listen Spork. We’re drug pilots. You chose to be a drug runner. You’re not experienced, and there’s danger involved. We’re not immortal, Spork.

SPORK
Whatever.

VICTOR VON DOOM
I’ll see you in the plane. And stop pinching the waitress’s ass, the last thing I need is a lawsuit.

FADE TO BLACK
FADE IN
INT. STAIRWAY - DAY
Spork holds Pira close to him.

SPORK
Everything’s going to be okay now. No more craziness. It’s just you and me.

Pira lets go of his grip.

PIRA
That’s how I wanted it to be.

SPORK
And that’s how it’s going to stay.

Spork smiles down at Pira, and she smiles back.

MAN (O.S.)
Hello, Spork. Long time no see.

At the sound of the voice Spork’s hands begin to tremble, and he takes two steps backwards away from Pira.

SPORK
No...

Out of the shadows steps Victor Von Doom, a knife in his hand.

SPORK
I watched you die.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Death is nothing but a temporary illness. You know this just as well as I do.

Pira looks at Spork, confused.

SPORK
What do you want?

VICTOR VON DOOM
I don’t want you, partner. All I want is Pira.

SPORK
How do you know her name?

Victor continues forward. Spork grabs him by the collar, knocking his knife to the floor.

SPORK
HOW?!

VICTOR VON DOOM
If you don’t let go of me, buddy old pal, I’m going to have to kill you.

SPORK
Who are you?

VICTOR VON DOOM
That is not the question you want answered.

Spork punches Victor in the face, jabbing his fist into the other man’s nose. Victor takes two steps back, surprised.

VICTOR VON DOOM
You little--

Spork runs up to Victor, the two men go flying down the stairs, crashing and tumbling.

INT. BATHROOM STALL - CONTINUOUS
The ventilation cracks. Victor and Spork fall through, landing hard on the toilet seat. They sit there for some time, blood gushing down their faces, before either one speaks. Then, Victor starts to laugh.

SPORK
What is so damned funny?

VICTOR VON DOOM
We can’t seem to stop crashing, can we?

Victor stops laughing.

SPORK
I'm sorry, Victor...

VICTOR VON DOOM
What?

SPORK
I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done. I’m sorry I couldn’t stand up for you. I’m sorry that I brought you here to this place. I’ve been nothing but bad luck to you.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Oh, don’t... don’t say that.

SPORK
It’s true. I put you through so much pain, too much agony. I took you away from your daughter.

VICTOR VON DOOM
It was Master Chief. It wasn’t you.

Spork looks down, ashamed of himself.

SPORK
You’ve changed Victor. This place has done something to you.

Victor looks confused. Then Spork’s arms grip around his neck, Spork pushed him into the toilet seat.

SPORK
That is why I'm sorry.

VICTOR VON DOOM
Spork... don’t do this. We’re friends. You’re super... sexy, remember?

Victor’s screams of pain are muffled by the toilet water. Spork continues to choke him as he thrashes about in pain. Minutes later, he is dead. Spork lets go, and looks down at the dead body of his friend. He wipes the blood off his face. He looks up at the hole in the ceiling, and then looks back down at Victor. There is a creek as the bathroom stall door behind Spork slowly opens. Spork turns around and sees Matt Murdock; who is completely confused. On the ground a small ferret runs around happily.

MATT MURDOCK
Spork...?

FADE TO BLACK

HYPE: THE SERIES

And this concludes my run as editor on Hype: The Series. I'm sorry for assuming it would not take me two months to edit this episode, when I'm aware of how I seem to take my time with everyting these days. Again, sorry. :up: