I'm asking out a girl tomorrow. Advice??

[kainedamo]

Let me explain the circumstances. I've known this girl for about a year. We're pretty close friends. The time I've known her, she's had two boyfriends. She broke up with her last one a week ago. Being her friend is great, but I have feelings for her I can't ignore, and I think it's worth taking the risk to see if we can have more. Thing is, she's already shown interest in another guy, so I want to get in there before he gets a chance. I'm not sure how I should ask her out. How's this sound to you??

Vicki, we're close friends. But I've had feelings for you for a long time I can't ignore anymore, and I want to know if you'd ever be interested. If not, that's ok, we can still be friends.

Or I could lay it all on her, let her know everything I feel.

Vicki, I care about you alot. I get very confused sometimes, and deny how I feel about you. But I like you as more than a friend, something that can grow into love. I want to have a chance to show you I can be the man you've wanted.

No, that sucks balls. That sucks big balls. But she wants a man that's confident and says how he feels, a man that's passionate. That's what she told me.

[Equint77]

bit of advice.... ease into it... if you lay it all out it's gonna blindside her and she might get frightened...

just ask her out casually like you two are gonna hang out... and see how it goes... then after at the end of the night ask her if she'd then like to go out on an actual date.... and take it from there.

Important lesson.... never tell a girl all your feelings right up front... it's almost never a good idea.

[Flame on!]

She broke up with her last one a week ago.
REBOUND! Bad news written all over it...

[TheAlmightyFuzz]

my advice is not to ask people on here for advice

[Equint77]

that too... wait a bit.

[Equint77]

my advice is not to ask people on here for advice

don't spoil the fun. :mad: :(

[TheAlmightyFuzz]

don't spoil the fun. :mad: :(
what am I here for then? :(

[Babs Gordon]

^agreed... unless you have dropped some hints beforehand you really never drop a bombshell like that. you don't want to scare them off. especially in person... at least give them time to assemble a well thought out response. i dropped a bombshell on a guy in june by all out kissing him when he wasn't ready. turns out he really was into me and we've since expressed our true feelings for one another with a great deal of success :) we just took the tough route. be gentle. that's what i recommend.

[Rayne]

Oftentimes the "friend" aspect will be in the way. I'd say go all out and lay it all on her. That sounds confident and passionate to me. Although with women, they usually want the opposite of what they SAY they want, so I don't know. My philosophy is you have to take risks to find reward sometimes. The situations in my life that have paralleled to your's now have gone both ways - if I eased into it, it failed, if I laid it all out there, it usually worked. The choice is your's...tough for any of us to say. Go with what feels right...your feelings will dictate the approach. Good luck.

[Equint77]

what am I here for then? :(

to watch the inexperience search for advice from people who possibly have less experience...

part of the fun is watching the train wreck.

[The Dude]

Important lesson.... never tell a girl all your feelings right up front... it's almost never a good idea.

That is extreamly important. Trust me on that. Just kind of ease in to it and tell her. If your good friends she should understand.

Than again I'm not really experienced on the whole love thing so take my advice lightly.

[kainedamo]

I can't wait. I'm not letting the chance slip away. I can't worry about rebound stuff, and she's too sensible for that anyway.

I'm practically in love with her!

[Equint77]

^agreed... unless you have dropped some hints beforehand you really never drop a bombshell like that. you don't want to scare them off. especially in person... at least give them time to assemble a well thought out response. i dropped a bombshell on a guy in june by all out kissing him when he wasn't ready. turns out he really was into me and we've since expressed our true feelings for one another with a great deal of success :) we just took the tough route. be gentle. that's what i recommend.

I should write for cosmo... :o

[Lackey]

keep it simple... tell her you like her as more than just a friend and that you'd like to take her out on a date sometime.


I gotta warn you, though... if you have no clue that she feels the same way, then chances are you're going to be shot down and the friendship will die.

Making a move out of the friend zone is tough...but when it works, it's well worth it. good luck!

[Mr. Smash'n Bash]

You're in for a world of hurt, trust me.

[TheAlmightyFuzz]

to watch the inexperience search for advice from people who possibly have less experience...

part of the fun is watching the train wreck.
oh...please forgive me :(

[Calvin]

Do it while you're both drinking, if it goes wrong, you can blame the booze.

[Lackey]

Do it while you're both drinking, if it goes wrong, you can blame the booze.


another excellent bit of advice.... seriously :up:

[Equint77]

Do it while you're both drinking, if it goes wrong, you can blame the booze.

yeah... I've been there... unfortunately she didn't believe it. :( :down :down

[Lackey]

yeah... I've been there... unfortunately she didn't believe it. :( :down :down


moms always know when you're lying :(

[Calvin]

yeah... I've been there... unfortunately she didn't believe it. :( :down :down
Hmm, try E then. Nothing messes up emotions more than that. You'd tell your worst enemy that you love him on that stuff.

[ben_thuggin]

I am completely serious when I say DO NOT GET INTO IT. I literally made the mistake you are thinking about in early December. We went out for a month and a half before she said she didn't want a relationship. If anything, just keep it a fun, casual relationship and nothing serious.

[AndThePickles]

keep it simple... tell her you like her as more than just a friend and that you'd like to take her out on a date sometime.


I gotta warn you, though... if you have no clue that she feels the same way, then chances are you're going to be shot down and the friendship will die.

Making a move out of the friend zone is tough...but when it works, it's well worth it. good luck!

Agreed. However, you have to think of it as: Are you willing to sacrifice your friendship?? If you don't ask her out now, you may end up regretting it for the rest of your life, because you'd always have that "what if". Unfortunately, if she turns you down, things could get really weird between you two. I also agree with Equint in that you should hang out with her and then ease into the "would you like to go out on a date with me".

Normally I'd say don't ask her out so soon after she broke up with her boyfriend, but it sounds like she's getting over him quickly if she's already expressing interest in another boy :confused: So I guess in this circumstance you'd better take your chance while you have it.

[Mr. Smash'n Bash]

Its really iffy when you ask a good friend out. I made the mistake of getting really close to a girl, and when she broke up with her boyfriend I told her how I felt about her and blah blah blah. It back fired big time, and now she pretty much blames me for making her relationship with her ex go sour. Anywho, it sucks big time when someone you care about does something like that.

[Venom Drool]

I can't wait. I'm not letting the chance slip away. I can't worry about rebound stuff, and she's too sensible for that anyway.

I'm practically in love with her!
your likely not, you just like the idea of being with her. knowing your age would be great though. would tell me how much experience you have in 'life'. she might just want to touch your penis which isnt a terribly bad thing :up:

[echostation]

ask your dad to call her and basically get your dad to tell her that she needs to go out with you... perform a Father-mediated mechanism... it always works

[kainedamo]

I've been hanging out with her for about a year! How can I possibly "ease into it" anymore than that?? I have to tell her how I feel. I just need a good way to do it. "I like you as more than a friend, can we go out sometime?" sounds like the best option.

I had a chance and I missed it about 8 months ago. I'm not waiting again.

[pyras]

Okay first of all, never use the "L" word (love) and never WHATEVER YOU EVER DO say please. I think you should ask her out on a casual date first, nothing to fancy. Like coffie for instance.
But hey I'm just a kid, and the only serious relationoship I've ever had was in the fourth and fifth grade. So I guess the best advice is....don't take my advice.

[War Lord]

Best advice:

There's many plusses to celibacy.

[Venom Drool]

if your ugly it wont work, but if shes uglier it just might :)

[Erzengel]

Yeah I'd have to agree with whomever said that once you are in that friend zone it is difficult to get out of it.

But my addendum to the advice you already have is that there is obviously a risk and you acknowledge that it's worth ruining the friendship in order to find out. I'd say go for it and at least eventually tell her how you feel because you shouldn't have to "settle" for being her friend when you want more.

[kainedamo]

I'm 21 by the way, for those of you wanting to know my age.

I am in love with this girl.

I've considered her my best friend at times.
I'll never find another girl like her.
She loves Silent Hill, Evil Ernie, Lady Death, other comic books, she's a great artist and we worked together on our own comic book, she loves Bruce Campbell, we have alot of similar tastes but alot of different tastes too.
She's such a strong person. I've always admired her ability to not let stupid stuff get her down and just get on with it. She has a great sense of humor. Generally speaking, women aren't very funny. She makes me laugh, it's probably what I like about her most.
She's beautiful. I'm not kidding or exaggerating. She's so gorgous.
She has faults, she drives me nuts sometimes, but I still love her.

[Calvin]

I'll never find another girl like her.
That's going to happen a lot more than you expect it too.

[Venom Drool]

That's going to happen a lot more than you expect it too.
you cant know that
and its stupid to assume that it will

[Calvin]

you cant know that
and its stupid to assume that it will
No it's not. Most guys "fall in love for the last time" several times when they're young. I've seen it all around me, and I was guilty of it as well.

[Carter]

Dude, sucks to be you, you're in what we call the "friend zone"
It might be too late

[Erzengel]

I'm 21 by the way, for those of you wanting to know my age.

I am in love with this girl.

I've considered her my best friend at times.
I'll never find another girl like her.
She loves Silent Hill, Evil Ernie, Lady Death, other comic books, she's a great artist and we worked together on our own comic book, she loves Bruce Campbell, we have alot of similar tastes but alot of different tastes too.
She's such a strong person. I've always admired her ability to not let stupid stuff get her down and just get on with it. She has a great sense of humor. Generally speaking, women aren't very funny. She makes me laugh, it's probably what I like about her most.
She's beautiful. I'm not kidding or exaggerating. She's so gorgous.
She has faults, she drives me nuts sometimes, but I still love her.

You really shouldn't put her on a pedestal like this.

[Asteroid-Man]

omg. amatures! pm me and I will tell you exactly what to do. for now I g2g

[Rayne]

Listen, don't take advice from the people who post things like "do this, but what do i know, i've never been good at this in my life".

You've both known each other for long enough. I'm sure she has a clue somewhere that you have feelings for you. Just come up with some dramatic showdown where you tell her how you feel. Cater to what she likes - it might be dramatic, it might be an argument, it might be "sweeping her off her feet"....just drop it on her. If it's unexpected, you'll get the honest truth. You do NOT want to try easing into it. I was thinking long & hard about this since my last post...my advice, and this is coming from a 23-year old who HAS had a lot of luck with dating & relationships, is to simply make the move, and make it a strong move. Stuttering into it will only make it awkward. Lay it on her, man! If you love the girl, go get her!

[Rayne]

Sorry, double post.

[LetsHangBendis]

If you're asking people on the internet, she probably won't go out with you.

[LetsHangBendis]

I'm 21 by the way, for those of you wanting to know my age.

I am in love with this girl.

I've considered her my best friend at times.
I'll never find another girl like her.
She loves Silent Hill, Evil Ernie, Lady Death, other comic books, she's a great artist and we worked together on our own comic book, she loves Bruce Campbell, we have alot of similar tastes but alot of different tastes too.
She's such a strong person. I've always admired her ability to not let stupid stuff get her down and just get on with it. She has a great sense of humor. Generally speaking, women aren't very funny. She makes me laugh, it's probably what I like about her most.
She's beautiful. I'm not kidding or exaggerating. She's so gorgous.
She has faults, she drives me nuts sometimes, but I still love her.You ever read "Catcher in the Rye"?

Cause I have a feeling it's only going to be like that.

[Jack Bristow]

Just say this:

"I've been really trying, babe.
Trying to hold back these feelings for so long.
And if you feel . . . .
Like I feel . . . .
C'mon . . . . . hoooooo! C'mon . . . .
Let's Get It OOOOOOOOOnnnnnnn!"

[Jack Bristow]

double post, sorry . . .

[Jack Bristow]

Seriously, though . . . this is a toughie . . . once you're in the friend zone; there's just no getting out, dude. It's hard to swallow, but as close as you two sound, there's nothing that can be done . . . unless you're really good-looking, or in her eyes are good looking.

I would ease into the whole telling her how you feel thing . . . . or if not, since she's a creative person, use that angle. Tell her w/ a poem, or some artwork, or something.

Drop more and more sexual inuendoes . . . that will get her thinking about you in that light if she doesn't already.

Point out to her how much you guys have in common . . . and maybe jokingly say . . . "we should just go out w/ each other" . . . . read how she reacts . . . if she's freaked out, you can say you were just kidding, if it sparks something, take it from there.

If she was in a serious relationship, you don't want to jump in too fast, because you sound like you have a lot of feelings for her, and you wouldn't want to be the rebound guy. It's possible, however that the last guy was rebound, and you can be the next guy . . . .

Get drunk with her and let it all out (j/k)

[Calvin]

Listen, don't take advice from the people who post things like "do this, but what do i know, i've never been good at this in my life".

You've both known each other for long enough. I'm sure she has a clue somewhere that you have feelings for you. Just come up with some dramatic showdown where you tell her how you feel. Cater to what she likes - it might be dramatic, it might be an argument, it might be "sweeping her off her feet"....just drop it on her. If it's unexpected, you'll get the honest truth. You do NOT want to try easing into it. I was thinking long & hard about this since my last post...my advice, and this is coming from a 23-year old who HAS had a lot of luck with dating & relationships, is to simply make the move, and make it a strong move. Stuttering into it will only make it awkward. Lay it on her, man! If you love the girl, go get her!
Yes, let's take the hollywood route, that always works in real life :rolleyes:

If you haven't noticed it happening on its own already, from her, odds are she doesn't have those kinds of feelings for you. If you go for a big dramatic act, you're probably asking for some shame.

[echostation]

take my advice... talk to her dad... get your dad to talk to her dad... they'll sort it out ok? seriously the DAD mediated mechanism never fails... trust your parents to get you the girl you need ok?

[kainedamo]

Yeah... I uh... pretty much ruined everything, and did the one thing which was the absolute last way to go about it.

I told her on msn. It's her fault! She was pissing me off, talking about the other guy alot, pretty much descriging she felt for him the same way I feel for her, so I just told her. I also told her I'm angry with her for being so wrapped up in her own stuff she never cares how I feel. I layed it all down and told her everything. At first she said sorry, but I think I said too much, and now she won't talk to me.

[Calvin]

Yeah... I uh... pretty much ruined everything, and did the one thing which was the absolute last way to go about it.

I told her on msn. It's her fault! She was pissing me off, talking about the other guy alot, pretty much descriging she felt for him the same way I feel for her, so I just told her. I also told her I'm angry with her for being so wrapped up in her own stuff she never cares how I feel. I layed it all down and told her everything. At first she said sorry, but I think I said too much, and now she won't talk to me.
Wow. That's, um... yeah, you never had a chance buddy.

[echostation]

like i said... shoul've let your father handle the situation... why do people never listen? can you at least talk to your dad and get him to phone her dad so that certain things can at least be patched up?

[GoldenAgeHero]

its too late your in the friend zone now.....................bwhahahahahahahahaha

[Jack Bristow]

that suuuuuuucks!! I was in the same situation with a girl that I was in love with too . . . . same exact situation!!! She was my friend for like 7 years . . . waaaaaay longer in the friend zone than you.

I just kind of blurted it out one day . . . wrong move!!!

For the next 6 months, I felt pretty dumb about the whole thing, and she didn't want to talk to me either.

She eventually came around, but things are different between us now.

The thing is, girls have a sixth sense with these kinds of things . . . she probably knew deep down that you had feelings. At least you got it out of your system . . . .

And who knows? Maybe she'll call you in like a week, and tell you that she can't believe how blind she's been all this time, and then you can have crazy comic-geek sex!!!

[Calvin]

that suuuuuuucks!! I was in the same situation with a girl that I was in love with too . . . . same exact situation!!! She was my friend for like 7 years . . . waaaaaay longer in the friend zone than you.

I just kind of blurted it out one day . . . wrong move!!!

For the next 6 months, I felt pretty dumb about the whole thing, and she didn't want to talk to me either.

She eventually came around, but things are different between us now.

The thing is, girls have a sixth sense with these kinds of things . . . she probably knew deep down that you had feelings. At least you got it out of your system . . . .

And who knows? Maybe she'll call you in like a week, and tell you that she can't believe how blind she's been all this time, and then you can have crazy comic-geek sex!!!
Don't give the poor kid false hope, man. That's just mean.

[Erzengel]

Well he f'ed up but he's 21 years old he shouldn't of had to rely on someone else even his father handling his "OWN" affairs.

[Calvin]

Well he f'ed up but he's 21 years old he shouldn't of had to rely on someone else even his father handling his "OWN" affairs.
I'm pretty sure he wasn't serious about the dad suggestion.

[Erzengel]

Just making sure. 2-3 people said to go that route and sounded serious.

[Henry Hill]

Yeah... I uh... pretty much ruined everything, and did the one thing which was the absolute last way to go about it.

I told her on msn. It's her fault! She was pissing me off, talking about the other guy alot, pretty much descriging she felt for him the same way I feel for her, so I just told her. I also told her I'm angry with her for being so wrapped up in her own stuff she never cares how I feel. I layed it all down and told her everything. At first she said sorry, but I think I said too much, and now she won't talk to me.

Good job . . . .

[Mr. Smash'n Bash]

Yeah... I uh... pretty much ruined everything, and did the one thing which was the absolute last way to go about it.

I told her on msn. It's her fault! She was pissing me off, talking about the other guy alot, pretty much descriging she felt for him the same way I feel for her, so I just told her. I also told her I'm angry with her for being so wrapped up in her own stuff she never cares how I feel. I layed it all down and told her everything. At first she said sorry, but I think I said too much, and now she won't talk to me.

Don't let the situation eat away at you, try to find something to occupy your time for awhile until this all blows over. If you don't you might find yourself sitting around regreting what you did and thats no way to go on with your life. Trust me, I know from experience.

[Calvin]

Just making sure. 2-3 people said to go that route and sounded serious.
I think it was all the same guy.

[Venom Drool]

Yeah... I uh... pretty much ruined everything, and did the one thing which was the absolute last way to go about it.

I told her on msn. It's her fault! She was pissing me off, talking about the other guy alot, pretty much descriging she felt for him the same way I feel for her, so I just told her. I also told her I'm angry with her for being so wrapped up in her own stuff she never cares how I feel. I layed it all down and told her everything. At first she said sorry, but I think I said too much, and now she won't talk to me.
ha:down

[Erzengel]

Dude it isn't her fault. It's yours. You couldn't have held on and told her. You had to get all hissy and blab. Use it as a growth experience, learn from it and move on.

[C.F. Kane]

Damn that sucks.

Save personal confessions for live conversation. The instant message server is just plain cold. This one time a girl asked me if we could go out to a movie, and I asked her on AIM, "Is this a date?" terrible thing to do. She just wanted to go as friends (which was fine by me), but it still led to an awkward period of dodging each otehr in the hallways. We're still friends, and the consequences were nowhere near as grave as what happened here, but still, same lesson applies.

And who knows? Maybe she'll call you in like a week, and tell you that she can't believe how blind she's been all this time, and then you can have crazy comic-geek sex!!!

What exactly is comic-geek sex? Does it involve spandex costumes or something?

[Superman_20]

Let me explain the circumstances. I've known this girl for about a year. We're pretty close friends. The time I've known her, she's had two boyfriends. She broke up with her last one a week ago. Being her friend is great, but I have feelings for her I can't ignore, and I think it's worth taking the risk to see if we can have more. Thing is, she's already shown interest in another guy, so I want to get in there before he gets a chance. I'm not sure how I should ask her out. How's this sound to you??

Vicki, we're close friends. But I've had feelings for you for a long time I can't ignore anymore, and I want to know if you'd ever be interested. If not, that's ok, we can still be friends.

Or I could lay it all on her, let her know everything I feel.

Vicki, I care about you alot. I get very confused sometimes, and deny how I feel about you. But I like you as more than a friend, something that can grow into love. I want to have a chance to show you I can be the man you've wanted.

No, that sucks balls. That sucks big balls. But she wants a man that's confident and says how he feels, a man that's passionate. That's what she told me.

if you were closer to me right now i'd smack the wussy out of you... don't freak her out by doing something like that, just call her and tell her what i tell you... the phone is nice and safe, and you can even read it word for word as i tell you.. and sound fresh and cool, not melodramatic or like its a big deal... say the following stuff as if you were asking what time it is, okay?

call her and say:

"hey vicki... "

(or w/e you call her)

"whats up girl?"...

(it doesn't matter what she is saying, pretend to listen and get ready for your next move)...

hey and whats up with that guy you were interested in?

(wait for her answer of course, be cool... and if she says nothing yet, or im wishing he'd ask me out, or he asked me out, it doesn't matter what she said... just wait for her to be done talking, and say)

"psshh, you know what? i have a better plan, how about YOU go out on a date with ME on (w/e day you can)..."

(when she says yes, which she will, just say)

"cool, i'll pick you up at (w/e time you want) and dress (nice, sporty, warm, w/e is appropriate for where you plan to go and don't tell her where you are going, she'll probably ask why, where are we going, and you just tell her)

"its a surprise, just do it! i'll see you later"

see? easy, and you wont take the plunge into awkward land by saying you have feelings and creepy stuff like that because she'll just say "aww but i don't see you that way, i see you as a friend, and i dont want to ruin what we have, and you know i just got out of a relationship, blah blah blah blah" you get it?

do as i say and you'll thank me later :up:

[Erzengel]

^
You obviously missed his "pimp" skills. Read further on in the thread.

[Venom Drool]

if you were closer to me right now i'd smack the wussy out of you... don't freak her out by doing something like that, just call her and tell her what i tell you... the phone is nice and safe, and you can even read it word for word as i tell you.. and sound fresh and cool, not melodramatic or like its a big deal... say the following stuff as if you were asking what time it is, okay?

call her and say:

"hey vicki... "

(or w/e you call her)

"whats up girl?"...

(it doesn't matter what she is saying, pretend to listen and get ready for your next move)...

hey and whats up with that guy you were interested in?

(wait for her answer of course, be cool... and if she says nothing yet, or im wishing he'd ask me out, or he asked me out, it doesn't matter what she said... just wait for her to be done talking, and say)

"psshh, you know what? how about YOU go out on a date with ME on (w/e day you can)..."

(when she says yes, which she will, just say)

"cool, i'll pick you up at (w/e time you want) and dress (nice, sporty, warm, w/e is appropriate for where you plan to go and don't tell her where you are going, she'll probably ask why, where are we going, and you just tell her)

"its a surprise, just do it! i'll see you later"

see? easy, and you wont take the plunge into awkward land by saying you have feelings and creepy stuff like that because she'll just say "aww but i don't see you that way, i see you as a friend, and i dont want to ruin what we have, and you know i just got out of a relationship, blah blah blah blah" you get it?

do as i say and you'll thank me later :up:
he told via instant message:confused: :down

[Rayne]

Yeah... I uh... pretty much ruined everything, and did the one thing which was the absolute last way to go about it.

I told her on msn. It's her fault! She was pissing me off, talking about the other guy alot, pretty much descriging she felt for him the same way I feel for her, so I just told her. I also told her I'm angry with her for being so wrapped up in her own stuff she never cares how I feel. I layed it all down and told her everything. At first she said sorry, but I think I said too much, and now she won't talk to me.

Yeah MSN was the wrong move. Should always do it in person.

Now that she knows, give her a little time to sort out her own thoughts and feelings on the idea. Let the shock value go to work. If she's a good person, and was worthy of your friendship to begin with, it won't turn out badly.

[Calvin]

Yeah MSN was the wrong move. Should always do it in person.

Now that she knows, give her a little time to sort out her own thoughts and feelings on the idea. Let the shock value go to work. If she's a good person, and was worthy of your friendship to begin with, it won't turn out badly.
But what if she's too worthy for his friendship?

[The Hurricane]

That sucks. get back to us if you hear any word from her

[Mike_D202]

Don't ever bring up old girlfriends, if anything if she asks just say they are in the past and you learned new experiences to help build a better relationship in the future.

And dont say Angelina Jolie is hot, almost ended my current relationship with that one. :(

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

Just bang her, don't date her :up:

[Sparta*]

Just bang her, don't date her :up:

First of all...I agree with BAH HUMBUG. Girls are too expensive and relationships take too much work and time...if you can get the good stuff without the commitment, be happy :up:

Secondly...I don't mean to rub salt in your wounds...but dude...the cardinal rule of asking a girl out is 1. DON'T USE MSN!! No offense man, but are you crazy?! MSN is the worst thing ever...even if she did like you, she was probably turned off by you using MSN! All you can do now is take this in stride

[Calvin]

First of all...I agree with BAH HUMBUG. Girls are too expensive and relationships take too much work and time...if you can get the good stuff without the commitment, be happy :up:

Secondly...I don't mean to rub salt in your wounds...but dude...the cardinal rule of asking a girl out is 1. DON'T USE MSN!! No offense man, but are you crazy?! MSN is the worst thing ever...even if she did like you, she was probably turned off by you using MSN! All you can do now is take this in stride
To be fair, AIM would have probably been worse.

[Sparta*]

I suppose lol

I guess I should have said 'any instant messaging tool' :o

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

First of all...I agree with BAH HUMBUG. Girls are too expensive and relationships take too much work and time...if you can get the good stuff without the commitment, be happy :up:

Secondly...I don't mean to rub salt in your wounds...but dude...the cardinal rule of asking a girl out is 1. DON'T USE MSN!! No offense man, but are you crazy?! MSN is the worst thing ever...even if she did like you, she was probably turned off by you using MSN! All you can do now is take this in stride

He used MSN :eek:

[Sparta*]

unfortunatley...I was all into this thread, then I get to this page and he just drops the bomb and says he used MSN...my jaw almost hit the floor! It's too bad you had to learn the dreaded MSN rule when you were 21 man...but I guarantee you won't make that mistake again lol

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

You should have just written it out on a piece of paper folded it into the shape of a letter and gave it to her.


Will you go with me?


Circle one

yes or no

[Sparta*]

You should have just written it out on a piece of paper folded it into the shape of a letter and gave it to her.


Will you go with me?


Circle one

yes or no

Sadly...that would have probably been more effective lol and would have at least gotten him some 'cute' points :o (depending on what kind of girl she is)

I'm just surprised you haven't learned the MSN rule all this time...like, i'm 20, and I learned my lesson when I was like 14 :up: and your 21...where have you been all this time?! lol

[Scarlet spidey]

Honest advice?
Don't do it.

[kainedamo]

Still haven't heard from her.

Should I call her? Text her?

She really wouldn't shutup about this other guy, and she was saying she "wanted a few days alone", and that was after I told her I needed to talk to her and get something off my chest. A few things she's done just come off as selfish, like she just takes in the friendship and doesn't give anything back. So I just told her right there and then on msn how I feel. I know it was a dumb thing to do, the worst thing to do. I feel like an idiot now.

[Hades]

Still haven't heard from her.

Should I call her? Text her?

She really wouldn't shutup about this other guy, and she was saying she "wanted a few days alone", and that was after I told her I needed to talk to her and get something off my chest. A few things she's done just come off as selfish, like she just takes in the friendship and doesn't give anything back. So I just told her right there and then on msn how I feel. I know it was a dumb thing to do, the worst thing to do. I feel like an idiot now.
Yes, doing ir on msn wasn't the best place. It's so detached and un-emotional way of saying something to someone...bleh. She sounds like dumbass anyone.
Obsessed with guys and jumping around constantly from one relantionship to the next. I hate girls like that.."OmG liek i so liek him he is liek so totally hawt but liek omigawd i liek chris 2 he is liek rully hawt 2 omg alice i am so leik confused wat should i do??!/?"

[Rambo, John J]

Bollocks man, i feel for you, I really do. Far be it for me to give advice on how to snare a lass, but here goes...:

Ok, you're in damage control territory here, you told her via msn (of all things) and that wasn't a good move - but i guess you know that. Unfortunately Kaine, damage control in your situation is going to consist of you ignoring her and waiting on her to call you. Trust me, she will, sooner or later. If you call her, you'll come across as being needy and wanting - it'll scare her off and further entrench you in the 'just a friend' territory.

Ignore her - cold turkey style for at least a couple of weeks. It'll be tough pal, I don't doubt that, but we've all been there at some point. Go out with your mates, get trousered a few times, most important - get your head out of where it is at the moment. Get rid of that pedestal you've put this girl on.

When you talk to her again - and if in a couple of weeks she hasn't contacted you, you can call her - act smooth, cool, confident, funny and cocky. Make her see what she's missing by not being with you. Make her see that your life is the goddamn party bus and she is missing on a seriously good ride.

What is essential is that you do not, DO NOT digress back into 'wussy' mode. You told her all about your feelings - major no-no my man. Frankly, when it comes to women, most of them just aren't attracted to this initially. (And I know cause i've been there) What she wants at the moment is a guy who is strong, confident, secure and someone who doesn't make her feel pressured and/ or uncomfortable. That'll turn her off quicker than a lightswitch. What you want is to control this compulsion to tell her your feelings and expound on your ability to have a laugh and show her what she's passing up.

Good luck Kaine, let us know how you get on.

[November Rain]

Yeah... I uh... pretty much ruined everything, and did the one thing which was the absolute last way to go about it.

I told her on msn. It's her fault! She was pissing me off, talking about the other guy alot, pretty much descriging she felt for him the same way I feel for her, so I just told her. I also told her I'm angry with her for being so wrapped up in her own stuff she never cares how I feel. I layed it all down and told her everything. At first she said sorry, but I think I said too much, and now she won't talk to me.funniest post ever....

[November Rain]

Still haven't heard from her.

Should I call her? Text her?

She really wouldn't shutup about this other guy, and she was saying she "wanted a few days alone", and that was after I told her I needed to talk to her and get something off my chest. A few things she's done just come off as selfish, like she just takes in the friendship and doesn't give anything back. So I just told her right there and then on msn how I feel. I know it was a dumb thing to do, the worst thing to do. I feel like an idiot now.It's all good, use it as a growth experience...

ONe thing you've done....

you talked about what she has to offer you, but you haven't once mentioned what you have to offer her, why should she go out with you more than any other person, what do you bring to the field that other men don't?

THAT is the eternal question because if you don't know that then you can never get anyone.

a year is a long time to be friends with someone, if there have been no signs of interest in that time and you have been single the whole time then it's likely not going to happen.

However if you have been dating other people, then she will get to see a side of you that she wouldn't do normally and that's what you need, you need for her to like you MORE than you like her or at least at the very same level. You can clearly see that her dating other people has had an impact on your emotions and has made you act out irrationally, the same effect would happen on her if the situation was changed and you became a desirable asset.


Now what you need to do is to suck it up, and start either making yourself desirable or just becoming confident or perhaps start at the bottom of the dating ring and work your way up. IF she talks to you be civil and at least be her equal because it sounds like your her emotional puppy dog, a pet perhaps and it's all take from her and give from you. You need to realise that at the end of the day, she's just a human being with as much or even many more problems as you have, you shouldn't let your feelings blind the true hard fact of reality. That includes the reality that you are good enough for her, or perhaps vice versa.

I think you are at an age where 'asking people out' shouldn't really happen, you either get with someone or you don't but there shouldn't be a line you cross over or some sort of verbal contract, all relationships should happen naturally and a bluttering of feelings is definitely not natural.


all in all, i'd say start dating other women, even if you're hearts not in it, it will cheer you up to get the self esteem. In order to do this, you need to make yourself a catch so a lot of soul searching into your good points needs to be done, use some of this 'sad' time to better your personality and think what you would have done next time to get to this situation.

I've been knocked back at every stage, but at each one, i've managed to get a little bit further than the last time (at least in a post school relationship), so now i'm at a stage where talking to someone new is no big deal, what i have now have to deal with is 'dumping' and getting across the fact i don't want to get married without hurting anyone's feelings (that bastard has cost me twice:mad: ) but i wouldn't have got to this stage if i didn't mess up the first time, so all in all, have no regrets and push on forward.

[Mike_D202]

I subscribed to this thread just to see this outcome.

[Mister J]

I subscribed to this thread just to see this outcome.

This is pretty good stuff.

Kaine, like other people have already said, you just gotta back up for a little bit. Can't press her right now. Just be civil, don't do anything that you wouldn't do otherwise. She'll get back to you fairly soon. When she does, tell it straight (preferably in person, but the phone will do). If she's all caught up on this other guy, then let it go. If she's pining away for another dude who's not paying her any real attention, she got some issues. It may seem like lip service, but you will get over this chick. Trust me. Dude, you're 21. The party's just getting started.

Keep us posted...seriously.

[Matt]

My advice: Don't do it. She's on the rebound, even if you get her now, she will grow to resent you for taking advantage of the friendship and rebounding her like that.

It is never a good idea to date friends, either. Move on. Find another girl. Or atleast wait.

[Matt]

Still haven't heard from her.

Should I call her? Text her?

She really wouldn't shutup about this other guy, and she was saying she "wanted a few days alone", and that was after I told her I needed to talk to her and get something off my chest. A few things she's done just come off as selfish, like she just takes in the friendship and doesn't give anything back. So I just told her right there and then on msn how I feel. I know it was a dumb thing to do, the worst thing to do. I feel like an idiot now.

Maybe you're the one being selfish. Think about what you're saying in retrospect. "You don't give anything to this friendship, so pony up the sex or it's over."

Just because she doesn't have feelings towards you, doesn't make her selfish. You are trying to take advantage of your friend who is on the rebound. Who is really being selfish here?

[echostation]

son, your father wants to talk to you... let him show you the guidance... he's done this before, at least let him make the call ok? let him call or even MSN your friend and he'll know to talk to her dad ok? if you bring in the families in on this the matter can be settled open table discussion style and at least the air will be cleared. You could at least call her Dad and talk to him about the situation and say this is what transpired, talk to your daughter and he will take care of it.

[Equint77]

moms always know when you're lying :(

yeah I know but I can't talk to your mom unless I'm drunk... sorry. :( :up: :up:

[Hades]

Mom's just hit on me. It's gross.

[Equint77]

I'm 21 by the way, for those of you wanting to know my age.

I am in love with this girl.

I've considered her my best friend at times.
I'll never find another girl like her.
She loves Silent Hill, Evil Ernie, Lady Death, other comic books, she's a great artist and we worked together on our own comic book, she loves Bruce Campbell, we have alot of similar tastes but alot of different tastes too.
She's such a strong person. I've always admired her ability to not let stupid stuff get her down and just get on with it. She has a great sense of humor. Generally speaking, women aren't very funny. She makes me laugh, it's probably what I like about her most.
She's beautiful. I'm not kidding or exaggerating. She's so gorgous.
She has faults, she drives me nuts sometimes, but I still love her.

that's all great but I still say that you shouldn't tell her everything at once.... everything you just said in that post should be saved AFTER she tells you she has the same feelings for you. Not before... plus she might just consider you a "friend" and if you jump in, you're gonna lose her friendship too.

[Immortalfire]

I read from the beginning and this won't end well. And now I see that it apparently hasn't. Sorry dude.

[Erzengel]

Still haven't heard from her.

Should I call her? Text her?

She really wouldn't shutup about this other guy, and she was saying she "wanted a few days alone", and that was after I told her I needed to talk to her and get something off my chest. A few things she's done just come off as selfish, like she just takes in the friendship and doesn't give anything back. So I just told her right there and then on msn how I feel. I know it was a dumb thing to do, the worst thing to do. I feel like an idiot now.

For goodness sakes, give her some time. Do not call her!!! You come off as needy and obsessive.

[Equint77]

telling her how you feel over MSN pretty much put the nail in the coffin.

I hope not but that's something I don't see any girl getting over.

[musclesforsupes]

Tell her about the god Randor.

[Superman_20]

he told via instant message:confused: :down

he sucks at life, and saying you have "feelings" before you've slept with a girl or at least have been dating her for a long ass while is a relationship killer

[musclesforsupes]

Ask her the following questions

1. Are you a fan of the Hype Top 25?
2. Randor??
3. Do you eat food?
4. Are you scared of the falcor, the saget, and the wilhelm's creme?

[Equint77]

he sucks at life, and saying you have "feelings" before you've slept with a girl or at least have been dating her for a long ass while is a relationship killer

that's pretty much what everyone told him.. but he chose to do the worst thing at the worst time in the worst way.... :(

[Superman_20]

that's pretty much what everyone told him.. but he chose to do the worst thing at the worst time in the worst way.... :(

why do most "nice" guys do that crap, that they think saying they have feelings will make a girl go "awww lets have sex on the hood of my car baby, i will have feelings for you too someday... i love you" when i was living at home, i remember my brother did the same crap after i adviced him not too, and i had never seen someone screw up that badly... at least until now because my brother had done it in person :cool:

[Mike_D202]

Just invite her over for a bowl of cornflakes and wear axe effect spray.

[Equint77]

why do most "nice" guys do that crap, that they think saying they have feelings will make a girl go "awww lets have sex on the hood of my car baby, i will have feelings for you too someday... i love you" when i was living at home, i remember my brother did the same crap after i adviced him not too, and i had never seen someone screw up that badly... at least until now because my brother had done it in person :cool:


because guys are stupid.. me included. honestly I don't blame this guy for what he did....he didn't know any better and hopefully has learned a lesson.

I've gone and done stupid things for a girl, even after my friends have told me not to....

It's just sometimes we have to go utterly fail at something in order to move on. Or at least that's how it seems.

[November Rain]

36 hypers could not come to the aid of one in his time of need....

tsk tsk...

we should all bow our heads in shame

[Superman_20]

because guys are stupid.. me included. honestly I don't blame this guy for what he did....he didn't know any better and hopefully has learned a lesson.

I've gone and done stupid things for a girl, even after my friends have told me not to....

It's just sometimes we have to go utterly fail at something in order to move on. Or at least that's how it seems.


but with the one you like best? that is like putting on a zegna suit and rolling around in the wet garden to see what happens to a suit in the dirt... if you just have to find out, you would put on a crappy suit and do it... same thing with a girl, when i didn't know what was going to happen with a girl, i would find a girl who i didn't like and i'd tell her what i wanted to tell the ones that i liked, that way i could see what would work before i actually did it without screwing up my chance with the hot ones... he just tried an untested method and it has probably bitten him squarely in the ass, right in the crack

36 hypers could not come to the aid of one in his time of need....



tsk tsk...



we should all bow our heads in shame


i tried, i tried :( i was just too late

[Equint77]

but with the one you like best? that is like putting on a zegna suit and rolling around in the wet garden to see what happens to a suit in the dirt... if you just have to find out, you would put on a crappy suit and do it... same thing with a girl, when i didn't know what was going to happen with a girl, i would find a girl who i didn't like and i'd tell her what i wanted to tell the ones that i liked, that way i could see what would work before i actually did it without screwing up my chance with the hot ones... he just tried an untested method and it has probably bitten him squarely in the ass, right in the crack




i tried, i tried :( i was just too late

it's tough cause what works on one girl won't work for another. Believe me I've tried. It's a tough balance of putting yourself out there and pacing yourself so things happen naturally but at the same time making sure it goes in direction you want it go.

it's a crazy game.

[musclesforsupes]

share with her these


http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/060208/060208_mcdFries_vmed_4p.widec.jpg

[Daisy]

keep it simple... tell her you like her as more than just a friend and that you'd like to take her out on a date sometime.




Speaking as a girl, this is the best advice I've seen in this thread.

[Superman_20]

i recommend to everyone to read "the game" it is hard to find, so buy it online
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0060554738/104-7855606-2678342?v=glance&n=283155

[Mike_D202]

share with her these


http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/060208/060208_mcdFries_vmed_4p.widec.jpg

Coming from a guy, thats the best advice I've seen so far in this thread. :up:

[Daisy]

Still haven't heard from her.

Should I call her? Text her?

She really wouldn't shutup about this other guy, and she was saying she "wanted a few days alone", and that was after I told her I needed to talk to her and get something off my chest. A few things she's done just come off as selfish, like she just takes in the friendship and doesn't give anything back. So I just told her right there and then on msn how I feel. I know it was a dumb thing to do, the worst thing to do. I feel like an idiot now.

If that's really true, why are you friends with her?

I think what you're saying is that she simply treated you like a friend and not the way you wanted (but never told her) - as a boyfriend.

You might send her a note - email - saying that you are sorry you got carried away. If you wanted, you could also includine something like: "I'd just made up my mind to ask you on an actual date, and then just got all frustrated when you were talking about dating someone else. All I really meant was that I think we have such a great friendship, that it's a good basis for something more. If you're not interested, that's cool. I can accept that."

IF and ONLY IF you mean it sincerly, you can add somthing like: "Look, I know I put a bunch of crap on you, and I really am sorry. Even if you don't want to try dating, I'd hate to see this end our friendship. I'd really like to keep that if it it's possible, although I know it might take a little time before things feel less weird. That's okay though, you're important enough friend that I think we can work through it."

If you don't mean that sincerely... if you're still going to hang onto your friendship with her all the while still secretely thinking "Why doesn't she go out with ME?", then don't include that last part, because it means you're not really being a friend. Your mainting your friendship under false pretences, because you really want something she can't give you. It's not good for either of you... probably you more than her.

[Superman_20]

share with her these


http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/060208/060208_mcdFries_vmed_4p.widec.jpg

http://adweek.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/bigmac_1.jpg

If that's really true, why are you friends with her?

I think what you're saying is that she simply treated you like a friend and not the way you wanted (but never told her) - as a boyfriend.

You might send her a note - email - saying that you are sorry you got carried away. If you wanted, you could also includine something like: "I'd just made up my mind to ask you on an actual date, and then just got all frustrated when you were talking about dating someone else. All I really meant was that I think we have such a great friendship, that it's a good basis for something more. If you're not interested, that's cool. I can accept that."

IF and ONLY IF you mean it sincerly, you can add somthing like: "Look, I know I put a bunch of crap on you, and I really am sorry. Even if you don't want to try dating, I'd hate to see this end our friendship. I'd really like to keep that if it it's possible, although I know it might take a little time before things feel less weird. That's okay though, you're important enough friend that I think we can work through it."

If you don't mean that sincerely... if you're still going to hang onto your friendship with her all the while still secretely thinking "Why doesn't she go out with ME?", then don't include that last part, because it means you're not really being a friend. Your mainting your friendship under false pretences, because you really want something she can't give you. It's not good for either of you... probably you more than her.

forget everything you know and leave everything behind and run away with me

[Mike_D202]

I want McDonalds now :(

[Daisy]

Everyone knows the best thing to share with her would be:

http://www.kinnie.com/images/cocktail_1.jpg

That reminds me of a camp song from when I was a kid. :o

[Superman_20]

I want McDonalds now :(

no, it makes you fat and daisy doesn't like fat guys

[Daisy]

no, it makes you fat and daisy doesn't like fat guys

THat's not entirely true...

I like them if they're jolly, visit only once a year while I'm sleeping, and leave presents for me when they go.

Hmmm.... the whole Santa concept is sort of creeping me out all of a sudden. :(

[Superman_20]

is santa real? :confused:
and if he knows when you're awake, or have been naughty or nice, does he know when you are pooping too?

[Matt]

If that's really true, why are you friends with her?

I think what you're saying is that she simply treated you like a friend and not the way you wanted (but never told her) - as a boyfriend.

You might send her a note - email - saying that you are sorry you got carried away. If you wanted, you could also includine something like: "I'd just made up my mind to ask you on an actual date, and then just got all frustrated when you were talking about dating someone else. All I really meant was that I think we have such a great friendship, that it's a good basis for something more. If you're not interested, that's cool. I can accept that."

IF and ONLY IF you mean it sincerly, you can add somthing like: "Look, I know I put a bunch of crap on you, and I really am sorry. Even if you don't want to try dating, I'd hate to see this end our friendship. I'd really like to keep that if it it's possible, although I know it might take a little time before things feel less weird. That's okay though, you're important enough friend that I think we can work through it."

If you don't mean that sincerely... if you're still going to hang onto your friendship with her all the while still secretely thinking "Why doesn't she go out with ME?", then don't include that last part, because it means you're not really being a friend. Your mainting your friendship under false pretences, because you really want something she can't give you. It's not good for either of you... probably you more than her.

Listen to Daisy, she's a smart gal :up:

[kainedamo]

Some good advice there.

UPDATE: Pretty much the only thing she said while I was blabbing away was "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Damien". So I texted her and said I wish she sould say something other than sorry, and what she was sorry about. She replied with "I'm sorry for ignoring how you felt, i'm sorry I don't feel the same and I'm sorry your hurting".

I don't think there was a RIGHT way I could have asked her out, her answer was always going to be the same. Though, that's the last I heard from her.

[Santa]

is santa real? :confused:
and if he knows when you're awake, or have been naughty or nice, does he know when you are pooping too?


I know when you've been naughty, I know when you've been nice, but I do not know when you're pooping.

[kainedamo]

Diasy's advice is good, and some guy on the last page (Romita was it??) his was good too.

But there's nothing more in the dating way of things I can do. She doesn't like me that way. So we'll stay friends. Just her lack of contact is worrying me.

[Calvin]

Diasy's advice is good, and some guy on the last page (Romita was it??) his was good too.

But there's nothing more in the dating way of things I can do. She doesn't like me that way. So we'll stay friends. Just her lack of contact is worrying me.
I wouldn't count on the staying friends thing, considering the way you threw that out there. I'm sure you'll "officially" stay friends, but it might not really be anything like a friendship.

[Equint77]

I don't think there was a RIGHT way I could have asked her out, her answer was always going to be the same. Though, that's the last I heard from her.

are you joking??? uhm.. face to face under the right setting... and letting her know you were interested in being more than her friend.... as long as you avoided telling her you were in love with her. Regardless of her answer, you would have handled things appropriately.

Now you've made things complex and probably altered the friendship from now on. If you two continue to be friends don't be surprised if she is supsicious of your motives and DO NOT be surprised if she no longer tells you things she used to.

[Superman_20]

I know when you've been naughty, I know when you've been nice, but I do not know when you're pooping.

im pooping right now *blush*

[Mr. Smash'n Bash]

Some good advice there.

UPDATE: Pretty much the only thing she said while I was blabbing away was "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Damien". So I texted her and said I wish she sould say something other than sorry, and what she was sorry about. She replied with "I'm sorry for ignoring how you felt, i'm sorry I don't feel the same and I'm sorry your hurting".

I don't think there was a RIGHT way I could have asked her out, her answer was always going to be the same. Though, that's the last I heard from her.


Well atleast you know she doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for her. Nows a good time to move on and try and find someone who does have feelings for you that way.

[Mr. Smash'n Bash]

im pooping right now *blush*


thats sick.

[November Rain]

the blushing, i know...

:mad:

[Daisy]

Diasy's advice is good, and some guy on the last page (Romita was it??) his was good too.

But there's nothing more in the dating way of things I can do. She doesn't like me that way. So we'll stay friends. Just her lack of contact is worrying me.

Give her some space aready.

You dumped a load of bricks on her... and from the sound of it, you also made her feel like it was her fault (I mean, why the heck is she apologizing to you? She didn't do anything.), like she'd somehow been a "bad friend", and now your wanting her to talk to you... contact you? Newsflash: You're the LAST person she wants to talk about how she feels right now. If you're sincere in wanting to be her friend, then BE ONE and give her the space/time she requested.

Let the poor girl breathe.

[AndThePickles]

Some good advice there.

UPDATE: Pretty much the only thing she said while I was blabbing away was "I'm sorry. I'm sorry Damien". So I texted her and said I wish she sould say something other than sorry, and what she was sorry about. She replied with "I'm sorry for ignoring how you felt, i'm sorry I don't feel the same and I'm sorry your hurting".

I don't think there was a RIGHT way I could have asked her out, her answer was always going to be the same. Though, that's the last I heard from her.

Ugh, you should NOT have texted her and said you wished she would say something other than sorry, etc. :( That comes across as obsessing.

There WAS a right way you could've asked her out....almost any other way besides the way you did it. Sorry to sound so harsh, but not only was it tacky to blurt out everything on MSN, but it also made you sound completely insensitive to her feelings. She was talking about another guy...and no, you may not have wanted to hear it, but it didn't give you the right to cut her off and spill your guts to her. Even though you were annoyed, you should've restrained yourself. If you asked her out in person, maybe you could have at least saved the friendship.

I agree with Daisy, right now you should not be worrying about what she meant by "I'm sorry", YOU should be the one telling her you're sorry. At the moment, you really need to worry about at least still being friends with her, if that is even possible anymore.
Give her space, because at this point, it is up to her whether she wants to continue your friendship. She probably feels hurt, confused, and a bit guilty that she doesn't share feelings for you. In other words, she is probably having a tough time deciding what to do next.

[Equint77]

this story gives me an idea for a movie script.....

TEXT LOVE

[GoldenAgeHero]

yeah just move on, you blew it, so just go to the next girl. ive come close to telling a girl i have a crush on very randomly, like just go up to her and just spout out how bad i have it for her, but i thought twice and i did'nt want to scare her off or anything.i still havent told her till this day.

[GoldenAgeHero]

this story gives me an idea for a movie script.....

TEXT LOVE


starring rob shnieder... thats how crappy your script is.

[November Rain]

it's quite clear now that kainedamo doesn't or isn't going to take any of the advice offered here now, so why are people still giving it?

:confused:

[kainedamo]

I feel pretty crappy myself right now. I feel like a total idiot.

Should I try and phone her and tell her I'm sorry for dumping all of it on her, or just leave it?

[Equint77]

starring rob shnieder... thats how crappy your script is.

your life can't even have a script cause you have nothing to write about...

[Equint77]

I feel pretty crappy myself right now. I feel like a total idiot.

Should I try and phone her and tell her I'm sorry for dumping all of it on her, or just leave it?

let her be.. the more you call her the more you alienate her. Give her time... a few days at least.. then CALL her and ask to see her face to face to explain yourself.

If she agrees, maybe you can salvage the friendship.

[November Rain]

this story gives me an idea for a movie script.....

TEXT LOVEnah

Txt LUV


you're already pushing away you're main demographic by not keeping up with the lingo and feel for the film.

you need to attract in your audience with familiarity, not push them away with proper spelling and all that jazz....

a nice touch would be to have all your reviews be multiples of 150 characters long with abbreviations and poor punctuation the whole way through.

If you're going to make money,do it properly.

[Equint77]

nah

Txt LUV


you're already pushing away you're main demographic by not keeping up with the lingo and feel for the film.

you need to attract in your audience with familiarity, not push them away with proper spelling and all that jazz....

a nice touch would be to have all your reviews be multiples of 150 characters long with abbreviations and poor punctuation the whole way through.

If you're going to make money,do it properly.

I just came up with the idea... I wasn't too concerned with details. :(

[Mee]

im pooping right now *blush*
Must be awesome to have a computer where your toilet is...unless you have a laptop on your lap while on the toilet...

[Daisy]

let her be.. the more you call her the more you alienate her. Give her time... a few days at least.. then CALL her and ask to see her face to face to explain yourself.

If she agrees, maybe you can salvage the friendship.

Bingo.

And I say give it a week.

[AndThePickles]

I feel pretty crappy myself right now. I feel like a total idiot.

Should I try and phone her and tell her I'm sorry for dumping all of it on her, or just leave it?

Lol no!! Leave her alone for now.

[Calvin]

I feel pretty crappy myself right now. I feel like a total idiot.

Should I try and phone her and tell her I'm sorry for dumping all of it on her, or just leave it?
Jesus christ, you just don't learn, do you?

If you phone her, she's just going to get pissed off, and then you'll be back on here going "Ok I totally pissed her off, I'm an idiot, I made things worse. So.... should I ask her to marry me?"

[Sparta*]

Definatley give it time man...a good amount of time. Then contact her...

remember, time heals all wounds...It can be the way it was before if your friendship was strong...it'll just take a good amount of time :up:

[kainedamo]

I'm going crazy!!! Why won't she talk to me!! Ahhhhhh!! Why is this so complicated??

[GoldenAgeHero]

your life can't even have a script cause you have nothing to write about...


yes and your life is soo entertaining that you comemon a message board.


exterior.bedroom.night

equint sits at his computer desk smoking a cuban cigar as w see him typng on a message board.

equint: hahahahaha, omg this dude sucks.

he brings himself a little closer to the computer screen to read a message

equint, (types): daisy i know what your wearing.



yeah your life is awesome.

[AndThePickles]

I'm going crazy!!! Why won't she talk to me!! Ahhhhhh!! Why is this so complicated??

Right now she won't talk to you because you've completely freaked her out! She just needs time to think. Calm down. Try to find things to occupy your time for now.

[GoldenAgeHero]

I'm going crazy!!! Why won't she talk to me!! Ahhhhhh!! Why is this so complicated??

shut up already and leave her alone.

[echostation]

dammit people forget the calling her and trying to talk to her or give her space... there's a reason why primary societies exist... that's right... OUR FAMILIES... OUR PARENTS! Kanchodamo the best thing you can do is call her dad... or at least please talk to your father about the situation, perhaps he's been thru this before and he can offer some advice.... if not then let him go above and beyond and call the girl's father for you... let them sort it out so you two can be friends again...

[GoldenAgeHero]

shut up echo dont make the guy call her dad, thats the most annoying thing he can do.

[Equint77]

yes and your life is soo entertaining that you comemon a message board.


exterior.bedroom.night

equint sits at his computer desk smoking a cuban cigar as w see him typng on a message board.

equint: hahahahaha, omg this dude sucks.

he brings himself a little closer to the computer screen to read a message

equint, (types): daisy i know what your wearing.



yeah your life is awesome.


how long did it take you to calm down before you could write all that down? Or did you just look in the mirror and decide to pass it off as me?

but yup.. that's me... I'm in my room at night, typing away wondering what daisy is wearing.... Yay me.

congrats....

[GoldenAgeHero]

how long did it take you to calm down before you could write all that down? Or did you just look in the mirror and decide to pass it off as me?

but yup.. that's me... I'm in my room at night, typing away wondering what daisy is wearing.... Yay me.

congrats....


hehe:)

[kainedamo]

I'm just afraid right now. I'm afraid she's sitting in her room hating my guts or something. I feel like I should explain myself and apologize. I'm going nuts. I'll show restraint though. You guys are right. She needs space. I need to do something to take my mind off it.

[Calvin]

You could kill yourself.

[Daisy]

I'm going crazy!!! Why won't she talk to me!! Ahhhhhh!! Why is this so complicated??

It's so complicated because YOU - or should I say your own stupidity - made it that way. Both Pickle El and I explained why she doesn't want to talk to you.

Leave her alone. At this point all you do by contacting her is come across as pushy, smothering and overbearing... not qualities people look for in friends.

THe more you talk, the less it seems that you were a real friend to her. It seems more like that was just a ploy to get what you wanted. "I wanna be with that girl, but she has a boyfriend right now. I know, I'll be her friend for now, and then when she's done with him, she'll notice how I feel about here and fall into my arms." It doesn't work that way.

Romantic comedies are not real life.

[Daisy]

dammit people forget the calling her and trying to talk to her or give her space... there's a reason why primary societies exist... that's right... OUR FAMILIES... OUR PARENTS! Kanchodamo the best thing you can do is call her dad... or at least please talk to your father about the situation, perhaps he's been thru this before and he can offer some advice.... if not then let him go above and beyond and call the girl's father for you... let them sort it out so you two can be friends again...

echo, while this might be good advice in your culture, dating and relationships are a little different in Europe, the US and Canada than they are in your neck of the woods.

In Belfast, where he is, your suggestion would only make the situation worse.

[Matt]

It's so complicated because YOU - or should I say your own stupidity - made it that way. Both Pickle El and I explained why she doesn't want to talk to you.

Leave her alone. At this point all you do by contacting her is come across as pushy, smothering and overbearing... not qualities people look for in friends.

THe more you talk, the less it seems that you were a real friend to her. It seems more like that was just a ploy to get what you wanted. "I wanna be with that girl, but she has a boyfriend right now. I know, I'll be her friend for now, and then when she's done with him, she'll notice how I feel about here and fall into my arms." It doesn't work that way.

Romantic comedies are not real life.

I don't believe he actualy has feeings towards her. It seems more like obsession. The way he resents her and doesn't consider her a "real friend" because she won't be with him...it seems like obsession to me.

[The Traveller]

http://www.anaesthesia.de/museum_neu/images/Chloroform.gif

:up::unishr::up:

[kainedamo]

It's not like that Daisy. We're good friends. I'm not a dilluded teenager, I know how I feel, and I can't help how I feel. Was I just supposed to keep it to myself?? If all I wanted was to get into her pants, I wouldn't be her good friend for a year! My main concern now is that we can still be friends, that things can go back to how they were.

[Calvin]

http://www.absinthe.bz/collegeB1.html?mv_pc=M-Bullzeye1_2005Nov1

"I brought a bottle of Absinthe on our first date. One minute we were just friends and the next we were on the floor... It's amazing how Absinthe makes you lose your inhibitions."

-- Dita Von Teese

[Equint77]

dammit people forget the calling her and trying to talk to her or give her space... there's a reason why primary societies exist... that's right... OUR FAMILIES... OUR PARENTS! Kanchodamo the best thing you can do is call her dad... or at least please talk to your father about the situation, perhaps he's been thru this before and he can offer some advice.... if not then let him go above and beyond and call the girl's father for you... let them sort it out so you two can be friends again...

calling her dad would make things even worse cause she'd then have someone else involved in the situation.. and will most likely stress her out even more.

Talking to his dad is one thing... but it's probably better to talk to his friends about it.

But what ever.. DO NOT LET YOUR DAD CALL HER DAD.. You're 21 for christ's sake.... that's full blown adult. :mad:

[Sparta*]

They can dude...but you have to relax and get a hold of yourself. Do something to take your mind off her...and play it cool. There is hope that it can be how it was before...time heals all wounds, remember that :up:

[kainedamo]

Matt, I think you've misread something somewhere. When did I ever say I don't consider her a real friend?? I was a little angry at her, yes, but that's because of things I haven't mentioned on this board.

[Equint77]

It's not like that Daisy. We're good friends. I'm not a dilluded teenager, I know how I feel, and I can't help how I feel. Was I just supposed to keep it to myself?? If all I wanted was to get into her pants, I wouldn't be her good friend for a year! My main concern now is that we can still be friends, that things can go back to how they were.

you're not supposed to drop a bomb on her.. not all at once, not blindsided, NOT ON MSN.. not when she was talking about another guy.

And the way things are going you should just hope you 2 remain friends.. as far as going back to the way they were.. you've pretty much crossed a line that some friendships don't go back on. She probably lost faith in you or at least shattered her trust. If you really want to be her friend.. this is gonna take a long time for her to get over this.

[Matt]

Things are never going to be how they were. Accept it and move on.

[Sparta*]

Things are never going to be how they were. Accept it and move on.


That's not true...it can be how it was, it will just take time...and you never bringing up this topic with her again unless she initiates.

[Daisy]

It's not like that Daisy. We're good friends. I'm not a dilluded teenager, I know how I feel, and I can't help how I feel. Was I just supposed to keep it to myself?? If all I wanted was to get into her pants, I wouldn't be her good friend for a year! My main concern now is that we can still be friends, that things can go back to how they were.

Well you're acting like one.

As for knowing what you feel and can't help it... fine... but from what you've written you've felt this way for a while (e.g. saying you should have asked her out after she broke up with her last boyfriend)... which means you've been being friends with her under false pretences. You were "waiting" for her to notice you and your love for her, and when she didn't, you got mad and dumped it all on her.

She's not responsible for your feelings... you are.

As for were you supposed to keep it to yourself:

you're not supposed to drop a bomb on her.. not all at once, not blindsided, NOT ON MSN.. not when she was talking about another guy.

And the way things are going you should just hope you 2 remain friends.. as far as going back to the way they were.. you've pretty much crossed a line that some friendships don't go back on. She probably lost faith in you or at least shattered her trust. If you really want to be her friend.. this is gonna take a long time for her to get over this.

Don't forget you made it worse by contacting her and pushing her to "talk to you" after she asked for a little time. That's pushy and controlling.

Equint and Matt are right. It's simply NOT going to go back to "the way it was". You might be able to rebuild a friendship again, but you're pretty much back at square one.

[The Traveller]

Start dating a random girl, she will now want you because she can't have you.
:up::unishr::up:

[kainedamo]

In you're face, all you doubters!!!

[Frozen Phoenix] Your all amazing people, i always feel better around you all. says:
sorry i ran out of credit and was busy today
dee says:
thatys ok
dee says:
im really sorry vicki
dee says:
i shouldn't have layed all that crap on you
dee says:
glad your still talking to me
[Frozen Phoenix] Touch me with your slime! says:
its ok


YEAH!! I rock!!

[Sparta*]

.....

are you sure your 21?

[kainedamo]

What do I say now?

[Sparta*]

Start dating a random girl, she will now want you because she can't have you.
:up::unishr::up:

This is actually very effective :up:

[Mr. Thing]

What do I say now?

"Would you like to kiss my fish." It works. Seriously.

[Sparta*]

What do I say now?

Anything BUT the current topic!

[Equint77]

In you're face, all you doubters!!!

[Frozen Phoenix] Your all amazing people, i always feel better around you all. says:
sorry i ran out of credit and was busy today
dee says:
thatys ok
dee says:
im really sorry vicki
dee says:
i shouldn't have layed all that crap on you
dee says:
glad your still talking to me
[Frozen Phoenix] Touch me with your slime! says:
its ok


YEAH!! I rock!!

what the **** is that?? :confused:

[Mr. Thing]

[Frozen Phoenix] Touch me with your slime! says:

...

[kainedamo]

"what the **** is that??"

It's me being amazing and badass, that's what!

[Lackey]

kainedamo, your custom title should be "Tragically Hilarious" :)


this is like an interactive reality show :D

[Daisy]

"what the **** is that??"



It's me being amazing and badass, that's what!
.....

are you sure your 21?

ditto

[kainedamo]

What? What did I do?

[Calvin]

He's not 21.

[The Traveller]

In you're face, all you doubters!!!

[Frozen Phoenix] Your all amazing people, i always feel better around you all. says:
sorry i ran out of credit and was busy today
dee says:
thatys ok
dee says:
im really sorry vicki
dee says:
i shouldn't have layed all that crap on you
dee says:
glad your still talking to me
[Frozen Phoenix] Touch me with your slime! says:
its ok


YEAH!! I rock!!


when a woman says "it's ok" it's not ok, specially if she calls herself [Frozen Phoenix] Touch me with your slime!

[Sparta*]

You are wise Traveller, you've made 2 great points so far...

if a woman says it's okay...it never is. If a guy says its okay we mean it lol

and the go out with another girl thing was very true as well...it'll make the current chick want you because people are naturally attracted to what they can't have.

[kainedamo]

Admit it. You guys were wrong. You all thought she would never talk to me again, or not talk to me for at least a week. You all thought the friendship was in jeapordy. The friendship turns out to be fine. You guys had me freaking out! She's too mature to just let me asking her out get in the way. I mean, she's called me her best friend on many occasions! You just don't throw that away!

[Daisy]

He's not 21.

Maybe he's a Dr. Fear 21?

Or maybe we've discovered an important factor in human development: Guys who have little to no experience dating girls before they're 20 develop severe social skill retardation?

I'm thinking there should be a study.

[Calvin]

Admit it. You guys were wrong. You all thought she would never talk to me again, or not talk to me for at least a week. You all thought the friendship was in jeapordy. The friendship turns out to be fine.
You clearly haven't got a clue.
Maybe he's a Dr. Fear 21?

Or maybe we've discovered an important factor in human development: Guys who have little to no experience dating girls before they're 20 develop severe social skill retardation?

I'm thinking there should be a study.
How about a culling instead of a study?

[Sparta*]

You clearly haven't got a clue.

Very much agreed.

Just because she says it's 'okay' (whatever the ***** that means) over MSN...just wait until you see her in person. It will be weird central...especially since you guys didn't give eachother time. You obviously have no clue about anything when it comes to relationships, so your best advice would be to listen to people who have been there and done that (there are lots of jack asses around here, but there are also lots of wise people who want to help)

[echostation]

kainedamo... sorry i mean kanchodamo, call her father now at least tell her your happy talk... that you two are now friends in man's hands again... that way her father will be happy and buy his daughter a chocolate or a box of chocolates if he's generous enough... problem solved,

i never doubted you, all i said was for you to talk to your parents and let them sort it out with her

[Sparta*]

Maybe he's a Dr. Fear 21?

Or maybe we've discovered an important factor in human development: Guys who have little to no experience dating girls before they're 20 develop severe social skill retardation?

I'm thinking there should be a study.

I think that's what it is Daisy...and yes, a study is warranted ;) :up:

[kainedamo]

My social skills are awful. That I'll admit. I picked up very little when I was a child. I was bullied, I played on my own, I had "clumsy child syndrome" (look it up). Man, I had problems! I'm surprised how well I've turned out considering. But as a result of picking up next to no social skills as a child, I have NO idea how to talk to people 50% of the time.

[Sparta*]

kainedamo... sorry i mean kanchodamo, call her father now at least tell her your happy talk... that you two are now friends in man's hands again... that way her father will be happy and buy his daughter a chocolate or a box of chocolates if he's generous enough... problem solved,

i never doubted you, all i said was for you to talk to your parents and let them sort it out with her

lol thats awesome echo haha :D

[Equint77]

the hell you say

[Daisy]

Admit it. You guys were wrong. You all thought she would never talk to me again, or not talk to me for at least a week. You all thought the friendship was in jeapordy. The friendship turns out to be fine. You guys had me freaking out! She's too mature to just let me asking her out get in the way. I mean, she's called me her best friend on many occasions! You just don't throw that away!

Umm... I wouldn't start counting your chickens before they hatch.

Allow me to translate:

"sorry i ran out of credit and was busy today" = I needed time to come up with a response to get you to back off.

"its ok" = I'm saying this so you won't keep pressuring me about talking to you about this.


See what happens in the next month or so... There's a good chance she'll be less "available" than she has been in the past to talk, hang out with you, etc. She won't respond as quickly to your messages. Your friendship will be more "distant" than it was before.

If, however, you give her a little time and don't push her (i.e. when she doesn't want to talk to you about something, don't say "is this because of... you know?") it might turn out all right.

[Calvin]

My social skills are awful. That I'll admit. I picked up very little when I was a child. I was bullied, I played on my own, I had "clumsy child syndrome" (look it up). Man, I had problems! I'm surprised how well I've turned out considering. But as a result of picking up next to no social skills as a child, I have NO idea how to talk to people 50% of the time.
In your case, a better goal than learning to talk to people would be learning to not talk to people. She'll tell you "it's ok," most likely to keep you from bugging her, as you apparently have, after she told you not to. She'll give you the time of day as a "friend," she has to out of courtesy, but your friendship will likely be strained and awkward, even if you choose to not notice it. She willl.

[kainedamo]

Considering she's talking to me as normal now, how weird can it be face to face? You guys don't know us that well. We've been through alot. Things I won't go into here.

But thanks for the advice some of you guys have given me so far, it's been really good advice. And I'd appreciate advice on what I should do to avoid "weirdness" from here on in.

[Calvin]

There are some classic stages emotion going on in this thread. Someone should outline them. Nervousness, defeat, panic, denial, false brovado, etc. Good stuff. Will acceptance ever come? For her sake, I sure hope so.

[Harlekin]

Weirdness is pretty much unavoidable. MSN is nothing like talking face to face. My theory on what's going on now? She either thinks it was a joke or treating it like one. When it becomes apparent that it isn't, the weirdness will return.

[Daisy]

It's easy to keep a "poker face" texting or over the phone. It's not in person.

Did you go thought a major tragedy together? And I mean like "the two of you were the sole survivors of a horrible plane crash and had to rely on each other for survival in the wilderness for 3+ weeks before being rescued" major?

If not, it's not as much as YOU think.

As for avoiding "weirdness", we've all said the same thing... don't push, take your cues from her. You need to "rebulid" trust. Show her that you are sincere in your desire to be a good friend.

[TheAlmightyFuzz]

I hope she straps you with a restraining order.

[kainedamo]

Not quite something like that, but there was a time where I and several of our friends were very concerned for her well being, and she was in the hospital. We had a very tender moment where I was hugging her.

[The Traveller]

Don't you have other friends?

Give this girl some rest

[da creole kid]

From the wise words of Chef:

"Find the clitoris."

[Harlekin]

Not quite something like that, but there was a time where I and several of our friends were very concerned for her well being, and she was in the hospital. We had a very tender moment where I was hugging her.
Eh, I've been through worse with my friends.

[The Traveller]

Not quite something like that, but there was a time where I and several of our friends were very concerned for her well being, and she was in the hospital. We had a very tender moment where I was hugging her.
Was the tender moment a warm and tingly feeling down your pants?
:up::unishr::up:

[Daisy]

Not quite something like that, but there was a time where I and several of our friends were very concerned for her well being, and she was in the hospital. We had a very tender moment where I was hugging her.

Sorry. That's not as much as you're making it out to be. That's called being a friend, and what you did has made her question your past motivations, so now she may be wondering "Was he really concerned for me, or did he just use because he thought it would help him get close to me?"


I'm talking from the standpoint of having been in her situation at about the same age.

At 18, I had three friends killed in the course of 6 months. The first was murdered, the second died in a stupid accident that was her own fault, the third was killed by a drunk driver while taking his mom to work (what's worse, his mom survived :(). My friend Mike was there to comfort me through all of it. Three or four months later, he did basically the same thing to me as you did to your friend (only we didn't have text messaging or even email back then, so instead wrote out this long letter and gave it to me).

I responded almost exactly like your friend. First I apologized to him, then I told him it was okay and yes we could still be friends. The think is that it wasn't okay (I said it was because I'd just learned that when I didn't tell him what I could tell he wanted to hear, he got all demanding and blamed me), I was weired out and doubted the sincerity of his friendship.

He kept on being suffocating and asking 'are you sure we're okay?' every time I said something he didn't want to hear (for example, if I said no, I don't want to go out and get pizza tonight. I'm gonna catch up on some studying.) I ended up spending a lot of time in the library to avoid him. The fact that he'd "been through that with me" (which he made sure to remind me of, which just made me feel like he was saying I owed him something... which it it's a friend, you don't), wasn't as big to me as it was to him.

And this isn't a "rare" story between guys and girls. It happens all the time. That's why I and others are all telling you to not be pushy, to let her take the lead. Don't be calling her up to do stuff all the time. If you're with her and are going out, sure, invite her along, but if she says "no", don't even ask why not. Just say, "Okay, next time then." Then go off and do your thing. Do not obsess about her and your "relationship" with her. Treat her like you'd treat any friend... not your "best friend", but just a friend that you enjoy spending time with... not one you plan your life around.

[kainedamo]

It was more of a "I'm so glad she's not dead and wasn't raped" kinda feeling.

[kainedamo]

Thanks Daisy. That's really horrible what happened to your friends. I'll take your advice on board, it does sound pretty smart.

I won't push things. I won't be demanding. I'll only talk about "the thing" if she initiates it. And that's the end of that.

I'm not sure if this is true, but the mood of this thread, I feel like I'm coming off as a bad guy. I've kept these feelings locked up for a year. If I wasn't going to tell her I was going to go crazy. Sure, I didn't tell her in the best way, but some of you are making it out to be this big terrible thing.

[JMT]

just play canibus's "phuck u" song over and over again until u zone out and find yourself trying to sing the chorus in the same voice as the song, that little girl voice saying "phuk u, phuk u" and if you listen closely you will start to hear the girls name

if this doesnt work then kill her and drink her blood, it taste like pennies

or you could tie that girl up and cut her little fingers off one by one then hang her on a hook and use the body as a punching bag then become very paranoid trying to get rid of the evidence when everyone knows you did it and they will have a court trial and people will watch it saying "that goddamn bastard, what would make someone do such a thing?" then look into the camera with blood shot eyes and say "blood taste like pennies mwhahahahahahaahahah" but being the net geek that you are i know that you are going to probably log onto myspace and send her a proposal message or test her like a little nerd like BK

[Sparta*]

Eh, I've been through worse with my friends.

Me as well...a hug doesn't guarantee anything Kainedamo :down

[pavlovs dogfood]

It's so uncomfortable when someone drops the bomb on you. Especially someone you considered a close platonic friend. You just want to slap the **** out of them.

sucks to be you, buddy.

[Equint77]

he should go find a new girl... he's basically killed this one.

[pavlovs dogfood]

Agreed

It's only February, but you should just walk up to her and say "APRIL FOOLS!"

[Equint77]

Agreed

It's only February, but you should just walk up to her and say "APRIL FOOLS!"

wow.. that's ballsy but if played right could work.... but then again if he did that he'd lose the last miligram of dignity he had left.

Good idea though. :up: :up:

[musclesforsupes]

Tell her about the Hype Top 25 no woman can resist that.

[Lackey]

It's so uncomfortable when someone drops the bomb on you. Especially someone you considered a close platonic friend. You just want to slap the **** out of them.

sucks to be you, buddy.


see, all this could be avoided if girls learned early on that there's no such thing as "just friends" with the opposite sex. Guys just don't do that no matter how much you want to believe differently.

[Sparta*]

see, all this could be avoided if girls learned early on that there's no such thing as "just friends" with the opposite sex. Guys just don't do that no matter how much you want to believe differently.

most of the time that is 100% true Lackey...but there are also a lot of times where it's not accurate. It depends how attractive the female friend is ;) :up:

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

I'm just afraid right now. I'm afraid she's sitting in her room hating my guts or something. I feel like I should explain myself and apologize. I'm going nuts. I'll show restraint though. You guys are right. She needs space. I need to do something to take my mind off it.

No what you need to do is find some new pussy :D :up:

[Brodie The Wise]

this is the best thread ever.

[Equint77]

see, all this could be avoided if girls learned early on that there's no such thing as "just friends" with the opposite sex. Guys just don't do that no matter how much you want to believe differently.

it's true.. it's true. :up: :up: :(

guys have friends.. they're called GUYS.... being friends with a girl is absurd. :D

[Daisy]

Thanks Daisy. That's really horrible what happened to your friends. I'll take your advice on board, it does sound pretty smart.

I won't push things. I won't be demanding. I'll only talk about "the thing" if she initiates it. And that's the end of that.

I'm not sure if this is true, but the mood of this thread, I feel like I'm coming off as a bad guy. I've kept these feelings locked up for a year. If I wasn't going to tell her I was going to go crazy. Sure, I didn't tell her in the best way, but some of you are making it out to be this big terrible thing.

It's the fact that you knew you were interested in her a year ago and decided that if you couldn't date her you'd "just be friends" with her ... all the while wanting something more, so really not willing to "just be friends" but rather "bide your time"... and then blamed her for not seeing your "true" feelings for her... which you were hiding... so how was she supposed to see them?

That's what makes you seem like a bad guy... and not "bad boy" bad... more like "passive-agressive, controlling, manipulative, spineless wimp" bad - otherwise know as a "nice guy". ;)

Seriously, after that don't see how she might perceive your previous actions as less-than-sincere after this... how you might be perceived as being a "false" friend?

[BAH HUMBBUG!]

most of the time that is 100% true Lackey...but there are also a lot of times where it's not accurate. It depends how attractive the female friend is ;) :up:

Agreed, but I would go a step further and also say what her personality is like. Is she a *****, stuck up, dishonest, just plain decietful? All of those could also factor into whether or not you want to bang her. I have some friends that are female and for one reason or another I do not want to sleep with them or have them as a gf.

Of course there are just as many I am still trying to nail ;)

[pavlovs dogfood]

see, all this could be avoided if girls learned early on that there's no such thing as "just friends" with the opposite sex. Guys just don't do that no matter how much you want to believe differently.

untrue. i have a lot of good guy friends who probably don't want me.

on the other hand, it's impossible to be friends with a lesbian. or maybe it's just the girls at my school, but that's like, bordering on a fact.

[Lackey]

most of the time that is 100% true Lackey...but there are also a lot of times where it's not accurate. It depends how attractive the female friend is ;) :up:


you're right, there are only 3 exceptions, though...

The guy is gay
The guy does not find the girl attractive.
The guy already has a girl that's more attractive than the girl he's friends with

even that third one is a little iffy because chances are the guy would still sleep with her under the right circumstances and his girlfriend/wife would probably like to see an end to that friendship

[JMT]

my idea is still the best

[Mister J]

This is better than that old MTV show, 'Undressed'.
Then again, Undressed wasn't really that good, but this stuff is great.

kaine, I'll say this, she's not as nearly over it as you think. Just be the way you've always been around her before "The MSN Incident". Be cool, buddy.

[Sparta*]

you're right, there are only 3 exceptions, though...

The guy is gay
The guy does not find the girl attractive.
The guy already has a girl that's more attractive than the girl he's friends with

even that third one is a little iffy because chances are the guy would still sleep with her under the right circumstances and his girlfriend/wife would probably like to see an end to that friendship

Good points, all accurate :up:

[The Traveller]

Hire someone to make her have an "accident", she'll end up in the hospital.
You'll be there to take care of her and maybe have another tender moment where you hug her again.

:up:

[Equint77]

Hire someone to make her have an "accident", she'll end up in the hospital.
You'll be there to take care of her and maybe have another tender moment where you hug her again.

:up:

good call..... with the days of gangsters long dead.. you can find thumb breakers at affordable prices. :up:

[Mister J]

^^^ That's just funny.

[James"007"Bond]

I am completely serious when I say DO NOT GET INTO IT. I literally made the mistake you are thinking about in early December. We went out for a month and a half before she said she didn't want a relationship. If anything, just keep it a fun, casual relationship and nothing serious.

Under the circumstances I agree with benny boy over here but I'll also include that you do the following.

As you continue to be her friend, operate slowly and on the sly when getting even closer. Without making it blatanly obvious, show her apealing things about you that would make girls find you attractive. Be confident about things, give eamples of how you'll handle certain situations when talking to her about stuff, change your appearance slightly so that she notices ande of course lie lie lie about certain things. Trust me, contrary to popular belief, honesty is not the key to a successful relationship. Altering the truth slightly is. Tell her things such as, "Oh, you know what vix, 4 girls came upto me today and wanted my number blah blah blah" I'm sure you can make something up. Dude, without compromising your friendship with her, make youself desirable but remember keep things discrete when putting this plan into action, its a guaranteed sucess my friend but dont be too slow about it either.

[Mike_D202]

http://cmgponline.com/go/dmgproductions/textlove.jpg

[Equint77]

any of you bastards steal my idea.... I'll hunt you down and I promise you your mothers will cry after they've seen what I've done to you.

[Daisy]

I think it should be:

txt luv lol

[Lackey]

untrue. i have a lot of good guy friends who probably don't want me.




so young...so naive :(

[Erzengel]

That's why I totally believe on forcing your love on someone and if they don't reciprocate, lock them in your basement.

[Sparta*]

http://cmgponline.com/go/dmgproductions/textlove.jpg

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

I think I just shat a little in my pants!

[Equint77]

this story gives me an idea for a movie script.....

TEXT LOVE

ahem!! :mad:

[Mike_D202]

Equint came up with the idea im just promoting it :D

[Daisy]

That's why I totally believe on forcing your love on someone and if they don't reciprocate, lock them in your basement.

You're dreamy. :O

[Erzengel]

What can I say. Love is pain. And I have so much love to give. :D

[Equint77]

Equint came up with the idea im just promoting it :D

I don't get many good ideas so the ones that work I hold on to desperately. :(

[Mr Sparkle]

dude, I know you all loved it, but this thread was ssssssssssssssssssssad.

I really hope Daekatano or whatever his name is gets some common sense, it was like a car wreck I really DIDN'T want to watch, but I couldn't stop myself.

[kainedamo]

Maybe someone will make a movie one day, based off all of this, called "The MSN Incident". I'd like to see how you'd photoshop that! Then, Txt Luv is kinda the same idea anyway. Hmmm...

She's not really talking very much. We talked about our love of Steve Buscemi, I told her I hate peanut butter sandwiches, she said she was hungry. I'm not feeling the deep friendship vibe.

[Mike_D202]

No i doubt things will ever be the same again dude.

[Mr Sparkle]

Maybe someone will make a movie one day, based off all of this, called "The MSN Incident". I'd like to see how you'd photoshop that! Then, Txt Luv is kinda the same idea anyway. Hmmm...

She's not really talking very much. We talked about our love of Steve Buscemi, I told her I hate peanut butter sandwiches, she said she was hungry. I'm not feeling the deep friendship vibe.


oh dude just.....

just stop.


please.:(

[The Traveller]

Maybe someone will make a movie one day, based off all of this, called "The MSN Incident". I'd like to see how you'd photoshop that! Then, Txt Luv is kinda the same idea anyway. Hmmm...

She's not really talking very much. We talked about our love of Steve Buscemi, I told her I hate peanut butter sandwiches, she said she was hungry. I'm not feeling the deep friendship vibe.
Tell her you love her so much you would even eat peanut butter sandwiches the next time you're jacking off to Steve Buscemi.:up:

[LarryLegend]

Tell her you love her so much you would even eat peanut butter sandwiches the next time you're jacking off to Steve Buscemi.:up:

That is so wrong. You really scare me.

[Dr. MIX]

I once made the mistake to tell a girl my undying feelings for her through MSN, thankfully for me she actually liked me in return and we are now living in the "happily ever after" territory. Although the reaction she first gave me was very similar to the one that is described above, afterwhich I had to "back off" and let her do some thinking and breathe. MSN shows you aren't man enough to tell her in person what you really feel and I now regret the decision.

[flyboyI]

Yes Yes....you have made my night...ive been gone for almost 8 months...i come back praying for one of these threads...and u delivered...yes! thank you so much for making me remember why im so awesome

[Lackey]

and you are...? :confused:

[Henry Hill]

Maybe someone will make a movie one day, based off all of this, called "The MSN Incident". I'd like to see how you'd photoshop that! Then, Txt Luv is kinda the same idea anyway. Hmmm...

She's not really talking very much. We talked about our love of Steve Buscemi, I told her I hate peanut butter sandwiches, she said she was hungry. I'm not feeling the deep friendship vibe.

I refuse to believe that you're 21 years old.

[Calvin]

He only said he was 21 so we'd take him more seriously.

[Dr. MIX]

Judging by his posts I'd say he's between the age of 14 to 16