Superman's Charming One-Liners

[rohitiyer]

Superman is strong. He can fly. He has Heat-Vision. We’ve talked about all of this on these boards. Yet there’s one power, or rather one aspect of Superman’s character that we have failed to touch upon…

…His charm.

Simply put, Superman is a model of charm and good nature. With a single line like, “I hope this hasn’t put you off flying, Miss - Stastically speaking, flying is still the safest way to travel”, he’s able to surprise one and all; especially people who are rooted in today’s cynical world.

I started this thread with the idea that we could post our favorite quotes from the comics, movies and TV shows where Superman displays this particular quality.

We could also look at how such lines might be worked into the new movie (For instance, I think there’s a scene with a baker, from what I remember of the Topps cards).

My favorite line?

“Lois – I never lie.” J

[Nautica7mk]

From Smallville:

"In the future, let's restrict our conversations to hello and goodbye."

"What just happened?"

"Lois? Well, she, uh, re-recorded our answering machine, uses all the hot water, oh, and she took over my bedroom. She's doing great."

"We don't call him Clarkie." [In regards to Shelby]

"Yeah, well, if you were any nicer, we'd starve." [In regards to Lois's bad cooking]

And my absolute fave from JLA Classified #10:

"I need more coffee. Where's the intern?" - Lois
"The intern went home." - Clark
"I mean the cute boy intern in the cycing shorts?" - Lois
"Incinerated him with my heat vision." - Clark
"Did not." - Lois
"And then I stole his coffee." - Clark
"But did you keep the cycling shorts?" - Lois

[ROBOCOP CPU001]

I think superman may find those wont work anymore..the world has moved on..he hasn't.. we shall see.

[Superman79]

And my absolute fave from JLA Classified #10:

"I need more coffee. Where's the intern?" - Lois
"The intern went home." - Clark
"I mean the cute boy intern in the cycing shorts?" - Lois
"Incinerated him with my heat vision." - Clark
"Did not." - Lois
"And then I stole his coffee." - Clark
"But did you keep the cycling shorts?" - Lois

LOL...:D

From Superman #652:
"Sorry about the window folks, I kinda misjudged the landing"

From Superman:TM
Superman: "Don't worry miss, I've got you" (like it's completly normal to be catching a woman and a heliocopter in mid air)
Lois: "You've got me? Who's got you?!?!"

I know I got a couple more...I just ahve to remember them...

[Lobo]

Lois: Will i see you around?

Superman: I'm always around

[Cinemaman]

STM

Superman: Dont worry miss, I got you.

Lois: You got me? And who got you?

[Superman79]

I think superman may find those wont work anymore..the world has moved on..he hasn't.. we shall see.

Yeah, but did you read the article in "Giant" magazine? They made a great point that everytime Superman has come out big (30's, and 70's most notably) it has been at adark time ( the depression/WWII, 'Nam cleanup/Cold War/Iran Contra) and he has been a "light to show them the way" (Jor-El).

Basically, they were saying that even though the world is dark, maybe we need to look to a brighter hero to change our POV, or at least reflect hope and wonderment. I hope Superman keeps the charm despite the changes in the world...because if he doesn't, who will?

[Nautica7mk]

Comics

Lois: "Yeah well, don't get all excited, Clarkie-Boy. Denial builds character, and I'm gonna be denying you for a loooonng time."
Clark: "You don't mind, though, if I continue my efforts to wear down your resistance?" - Superman #1

Martha: "It's a ring silly! It's been in the Clark family a long time, and since you're our only child, it's yours now, to give to whomever you decide to marry!"
Clark: "You sure you don't have ESP, Ma?"

Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman

Lois: "You are low man, I am top banana. And that's the way I like it. Comprende?"
Clark: "You like to be on top. Got it." -- 'Pilot'

Clark: "Hey, Lois, what have we got goin' on tomorrow?"
Lois: "Now, there, you're using that word again, Clark. There is you. There is I. There is no we."
Clark: "Not yet."
Lois: "Not ever."
Clark: "We'll see."
Lois: "How long can you hold your breath?"
Clark: "A very long time." -- 'Neverending Battle'

Clark: "What is that?"
Lois: "It's my word."
Clark: "There is no such word as chumpy."
Lois: "Sure there is. Someone's a chump, therefore, he's chumpy."
Clark: "Try again."
Lois: "Are you challenging me?"
Clark: "You bet your sweet little chumpy I am." -- 'Honeymoon In Metropolis'

Clark: "You are really high maintenance, you know that?"
Lois: "But I'm worth it." -- 'Witness'

Lois: "Come in. I'll just put on a robe."
Superman: "Unless it's lined with lead, Lois, it's a waste of time." -- 'Barbarians at the Planet'

Lois: "I suppose you've kept in touch with all your college friends?"
Clark: "Well, yeah."
Lois: "Well, sure. That's easy when you go to Smallville U, with a graduating class of ten farmers and a cow."
Clark: "Just hate losin' those arguments, don't ya?" -- 'Operation Blackout'

Lois: "I could get into any door in this city."
Clark: "I know, and that worries me." -- 'Resurrection'

Lois: "How do I look?"
Clark: "Appropriately cheap."
Lois: "Just let me do most of the talking."
Clark: "You usually do." -- 'Resurrection'

Quotes from MoonGazing (http://mandysdesktop.net/collective/moongazing/quotes_lnc2.html)

[rohitiyer]

I just hope the movie covers that aspect of Superman well.

It's a very important part of the character I feel.

[rohitiyer]

From STM:

"Bad vibrations?"

lol

[rohitiyer]

What's that great line that Superman says to the cat burglar in Superman: The Movie...?

Something about the elevator...

[rohitiyer]

What do you guys think Brandon Routh might say in SR?

Lois: "Superman will never let you get away with this!"

Lex: "WR--"

Superman: "RRRRRRIGGGHHTTT!!!!"

:) Just kidding.

[Lobo]

what I posted above is form Superman returns ;)

[Spider-Steve]

Superman: It's not who i am, but what i do that defines me.

Superman (using his heat vision): Flame on!!!

Steve

[Superman79]

Superman: It's not who i am, but what i do that defines me.


Wasn't that BATman...not Superman?? :confused:

[Super_Child]

Wasn't that BATman...not Superman?? :confused:

He's joking.

[Spider-Steve]

He's joking.

Indeed!

Steve

[Captain Kirk]

:supes: "I expect better manners from my guests, Zod"! - Superman in Superman II:)

[Sarcasm]

Luthor: I'm gonna bust you up!
Superman: Go for it.


Superman: You know what I got for Christmas? A carton of f***in cigarrettes! Old man grabbed me by the neck and said, "eh, smoke up!!"


Superman: ......and I didn't think it was a whale's d*ck honey.


Superman: Stifle yourself!!!


Superman: What'd the 5 fingers say to the face? "SLAP!!"


Luthor: You bleedin man!!
Superman: Ain't got time to bleed.
Luthor: Oh yeah? You got time to duck?



Superman: Yippee-kiyaaaa motherf***er!!!!



Superman: Smell that? Smells like someone died.



Luthor: What the hell are you doin?!!!
Superman: I'm kickin my a$$!!!

[Captain Kirk]

Luthor: I'm gonna bust you up!
Superman: Go for it.


Superman: You know what I got for Christmas? A carton of f***in cigarrettes! Old man grabbed me by the neck and said, "eh, smoke up!!"


Superman: ......and I didn't think it was a whale's d*ck honey.


Superman: Stifle yourself!!!


Superman: What'd the 5 fingers say to the face? "SLAP!!"


Luthor: You bleedin man!!
Superman: Ain't got time to bleed.
Luthor: Oh yeah? You got time to duck?



Superman: Yippee-kiyaaaa motherf***er!!!!



Superman: Smell that? Smells like someone died.



Luthor: What the hell are you doin?!!!
Superman: I'm kickin my a$$!!!:confused: WTF?

[Nautica7mk]

:confused: WTF?
Yeah, that really wasn't funny.

[Spider-Steve]

These are more like what Superman never should say...

Steve

[Captain Kirk]

:( "All those things I can do, all thoses powers ,and I couldn't even save him."- Young Clark Superman:the Movie

[Sarcasm]

These are more like what Superman never should say...

Steve

It's confirmed, this type of humor works everywhere accept comic book/superhero boards.


Y'all need to undo the bowties and loosen up a bit LOL!!!

[Whack Arnolds]

I like Clark Kent's funny comments more, cause he sounds so goofy.

Clark Kent: "Gee, Mr. White, that's terrible"
Parry White: "That is why the call them TERRORISTS, Clark."

[Captain Kirk]

It's confirmed, this type of humor works everywhere accept comic book/superhero boards.


Y'all need to undo the bowties and loosen up a bit LOL!!!:o If it wasn't so lame we might.

[Spider-Steve]

I like Clark Kent's funny comments more, cause he sounds so goofy.

Clark Kent: "Gee, Mr. White, that's terrible"
Parry White: "That is why the call them TERRORISTS, Clark."

Like that one a lot!

Hope Brandon has some to like that!

I really hope his Clark is really a bumbling Clark!!!

Steve

[Sarcasm]

:o If it wasn't so lame we might.

Trust me "Captain Kirk" the world of comic book nerd (that I proudly inhabit) lacks teh funny on many, MANY levels......most nerds just don't get it and that's ok...I ain't mad at ya.

[Captain Kirk]

Trust me "Captain Kirk" the world of comic book nerd (that I proudly inhabit) lacks teh funny on many, MANY levels......most nerds just don't get it and that's ok...I ain't mad at ya. :o I'm a comic geek myself, but I have never heard anything similar to what you wrote in my books.:confused:

[Sarcasm]

:o I'm a comic geek myself, but I have never heard anything similar to what you wrote in my books.:confused:


Yeah, explaining the lost humor won't help anything......in a nutshell, you replace Superman quotes with quotes from other movies....well-known or obscure references......Superman saying something from the Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Predator, wherever......I'm sorry, I love my comic book brothers but they're sometimes a bit dense which is ironic considering the obscurity of our hobby......almost anywhere else this thread woulda morphed into something hilarious......next time I'll save it for "anywhere else".

[Captain Kirk]

Yeah, explaining the lost humor won't help anything......in a nutshell, you replace Superman quotes with quotes from other movies....well-known or obscure references......Superman saying something from the Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Predator, wherever......I'm sorry, I love my comic book brothers but they're sometimes a bit dense which is ironic considering the obscurity of our hobby......almost anywhere else this thread woulda morphed into something hilarious......next time I'll save it for "anywhere else".:) I am sorry. I should cut you a break. Sometimes we all enter SMARTASS MODE, and forget to turn it off. It's all good, Sarcasm.:up:

[halfapple]

Richard turned to Clark, "So, is that good for you, Clark?"

Clark Kent nodded, "Sounds swell."

Lois and Richard both looked at him: "Did he just say "swell"?

/chapter 20 SR novel

[Captain Kirk]

Richard turned to Clark, "So, is that good for you, Clark?"

Clark Kent nodded, "Sounds swell."

Lois and Richard both looked at him: "Did he just say "swell"?

/chapter 20 SR novel:up: "Yeah, want the hear about the Peruvian Llama rodeo"- Clark to Gil in SR:)

[Superman \S/]

"I'm always around."

[Captain Kirk]

:supes: "Don't thank me, Warden. We're all part of the same team. Night.":up:

[Sarcasm]

:) I am sorry. I should cut you a break. Sometimes we all enter SMARTASS MODE, and forget to turn it off. It's all good, Sarcasm.:up:

Don't sweat it....it's all good.......all noobs take a bit of initial board hazing.

[Whack Arnolds]

:supes: "Don't thank me, Warden. We're all part of the same team. Night.":up:Now that is just straight corny, lol.

[halfapple]

:up: "Yeah, want the hear about the Peruvian Llama rodeo"- Clark to Gil in SR:)


Clark entered the office and sat on the desktop beside Gil. He yawned as he looked up at the TV. "What's going on?"

Gil didn't bother turning, "Superman. He's been having a busy day."

Clark chuckled. "Show-off, if you ask me. Say...did you want to hear about this really neat Llama race I saw?"

[MoreCowbell]

From Lois and Clark.

Mrs. Plat: I like your costume
Supes: Thank you, my mom made it for me.

Martha Kent: So now tell me more about this worman you're going to Luthor's ball with.
Clark: Lois is... we'll complicated. Comineering, uncompormising, pig headed... Brilliant.

Even though this isn't from Superman, or a one liner, I love this quote (got it from IMDB).

Lois (http://imdb.com/name/nm0000159/): If you wanna kill Superman, I don't know why you're going to Smallville or 1966.
Tempus (http://imdb.com/name/nm0203810/): She doesn't know yet. Oh, this is good. This is really good. Um, Lois, did you know that, in the future, you're revered at the same level as Superman? Why there are books about you, statues, an interactive game. You're even a breakfast cereal.
Lois (http://imdb.com/name/nm0000159/): Really?
Tempus (http://imdb.com/name/nm0203810/): Yes. But, as much as everybody loves you, there is one question that keeps coming up: "How dumb was she?" Here, I'll show you what I mean. Look (puts glasses on), I'm Clark Kent. (Takes glasses off) No, I'm Superman. (Puts glasses on) Mild-mannered reporter. (Takes glasses off) Superhero. Hello! Duh! Clark Kent is Superman. Ha, ha, ha. Well, that was worth the whole trip. To actually meet the most galactically stupid woman who ever lived.

[Captain Kirk]

Don't sweat it....it's all good.......all noobs take a bit of initial board hazing.:up: You show the attitude that will take you far! I applaued you, Sarcasm!:)

[Captain Kirk]

Now that is just straight corny, lol.WHAT, EVERY LINE OF STM IS GOSPEL!:mad: ....Just kiddin':)

[Spare-Flair]

“Lois – I never lie.”

What could be further from the truth? Everytime Lois asks where Clark has been (when he was Superman) is a lie.

[Bibs11]

What could be further from the truth? Everytime Lois asks where Clark has been (when he was Superman) is a lie.

SUPERMAN never lies....Clark Kent, that's another story! :)

[pspring5]

Superman 2

Lois: Everytime Superman Is Around You Seem To Disappear.

Clark: Superman Was Just Here? Golly!

[The Game]

I think superman may find those wont work anymore..the world has moved on..he hasn't.. we shall see.

I agree, I don't want Superman to spout 'gee' 'oh gosh' type of lines or sound as clueless as Fraiser from due south.

[Matt]

"Macrobiot-ICK!"

Theres a one-liner for the ages.

[Excel]

what?

[SolidSnakeMGS]

"Macrobiot-ICK!"

Theres a one-liner for the ages.

Yeah, because we know kids never say anything silly or ridiculous and everything that comes out of their mouths should be truly Shakespearian. What are these writers thinking making a little kid spout out goofiness??

:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

BTW, your sig is very telling of your purpose here.

[scifiwolf]

I'd like to see a hooker make a crack about Superman being faster than a speeding bullet. Then I'd like to see him kill her.

[Superman4ever]

Lois: Will i see you around?

Superman: I'm always around

Oh, I LOVED this one! :)

[rohitiyer]

Clark (in STM): "Personally, Mr. White, I'm against violence of any kind."

Not an exact quote.

[Mr. Socko]

Forget Clark

Lex's "kyrrrptonite" line will be the best.

[TheWebline]

Yeah, that really wasn't funny.

I thought the five fingers joke was funny. I just thought of Chapelle's show ;-)

[Dr. Fate]

I never thought of Superman as the "charming one-liner" type of guy.

[afan]

"Good evening .......Officer Mooney......they say confession is good for the soul.....I'ld listen to this man.......take him away."

"I'll mold that box into your prison bars."

"Clark?..... Is he a boyfriend..........Peter Pan flew with children Lois in a fairy tale."

[rohitiyer]

From the George Reeves series -

Jimmy: (After Superman breaks through the wall) "You could've just used the door, Superman."

Superman: "Well, let's just say this is a bit more spectacular."

[MoreCowbell]

Lois: Richard takes me flying.

Superman: Not like this.

[rohitiyer]

Lois: Richard takes me flying.

Superman: Not like this.

^^Is that in SR?

Here's another popular one:

"Gee that's funny. I've never seen garbage eat garbage before." - Clark in Superman 2

[afan]

:) Ooooooooooooooh yes, WYOMING!:)

[rohitiyer]

From Superman Adventures:

Superman: "No one dies today... I said 'no one'".

[rohitiyer]

Superman: "BUMP!"

:)

[Byrd Man]

Batman: if your so damn super how come you aren't as rich as me?

Superman: F*** you orphan

[Showtime]

Superman (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001659/): And there will be peace. There will be peace when the people of the world, want it so badly, that their governments will have no choice but to give it to them. I just wish you could all see the Earth the way that I see it. Because when you really look at it, it's just one world.

[Excel]

ive uhh...been working out.

[Excel]

chill out guys....



"ive uh, been working out" is my favorite all time qoute from any superman comic or movie.

[TrailerMusic]

I thought you were addressing me. My bad. :up:

Nah that was meant as a General Statement

[Showtime]

Nah that was meant as a General Statement

I see that now so excuse my question mark tirade. :)

[Showtime]

chill out guys....



"ive uh, been working out" is my favorite all time qoute from any superman comic or movie.

It's the motion he makes with his arms that puts the exclamation on it.

[Man-E-Toys]

"Gee that's funny, I've never seen garbage eat garbage before."
I love that line and how Reeve delivers it.

[Whack Arnolds]

Haha, my friend says that line all the time. So corny (as most of the stuff in the original Superman movies)...but that line is EXTREMELY funny. Try saying it so somebody, makes it even more weird and enjoyable.

[Chase023]

Doesn't take you guys much to really go off the track here! LOL

Wow can't believe no one mentioned already...

Superman: "I am here to fight for truth, Justice, and the American way"
Lois: "Your gonna end up fighting every elected official in this country"

Also

I know superman didn't say it but from STM

(I really like this one, can't get it outta my head)
Pimp: "Say Jim, Woooooooo; That's a bad outfit!! Wooooooo!!" (I think the "Dirtiest player in the game"/Ric Flair borrowed the wooo from STM hahaha)

Also some of the first conversations between him and lois is funny.

Lois: "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Superman: "No I don't, but if I did, miss lane you would be the first to know about it!"

Lois: "How big are you?(stumbles), How tall are you?"
Superman: "About 6'4"
Lois: "How much do you weigh?"
Superman: "225"

Lois: "Do you like pink?"
Superman: "Like I pink very much Lois"

Hahahaha...

From SR Trailers (I think this one is awesome!)

Superman: "You wrote that the world doesn't need a savior, but everyday I hear people crying for one"

[AgentPat]

Not all the time it doesn't. I just stated that little rule because that rule DOES EXIST & the person that started doing what she should not have done to begin with knows that rule very well & should not have done what she did to begin with here.WTF? Um... TrailerMusic, note the SECOND post in this thread! Nobody complained from that post onward. Everybody here was getting along just peachy. Showtime is one of the biggest supporters of SR on this board, and I happen to consider him a good friend. I even turn OFF my sig when I post in this forum out of respect for the regs.

Let the mods do their jobs, n00b! Stop policing people that KNOW the difference between a troll and folks who bend the rules with honorable intentions - especially ones that have been friends and on these boards for a hell of a lot longer than YOU!

This is a nice thread for Superman quotes - perhaps a bit off topic for the spoilers' forum, but a pleasant thread nonetheless.


So... back on-topic! From L&C:

Superman:
"Emerson said, 'Self-trust is the essence of heroism.' Inside each of you is a hero. And so, I leave knowing that a world full of heroes has nothing to fear."
"Honestly, I don't know how you thought a pair of glasses would keep people from recognizing me. That's kind of ridiculous."
Clark:
"You like to be on top. Got it."
"Lois is... well she's complicated. Domineering, uncompromising, pig headed... brilliant. And we're not really going out. It's business."
"I do NOT have hat hair!"
"Lois, I have always been honest with you. Always. Except for one thing. And when I tell you what that one thing is, I hope you'll understand."
"Lois, I kind of have to pick my moments for changing into Superman."
"What suit? There's no suit. I left it at home. It's just you and me, Joe and Judy Regular. Wanna neck?"
"Well, today I spent two hours polishing my boots, ironing my 'S,' saved a runaway hamster from a cat... tightened my glasses..."
"Doctor Klein ran every possible test he could. The poor guy could barely even face me... but he told me that Superman's biology and an Earth woman's are incompatible for reproduction. I told myself I'd never make you cry. I'm sorry." (Whoops! LOL)

[SolidSnakeMGS]

It's the motion he makes with his arms that puts the exclamation on it.

Agreed. I love that part and Reeve as usual nails it. Everytime in my life I get a chance to redeem myself or prove someone wrong finally, I think of that scene.

[rohitiyer]

From STM:

How'd you get here so fast?

Clark: (Shrugs) "I ran."

From STAS- The Last Son of Krypton:

Lois: "How'd you get here so quickly, Smallville?"

Clark: "Oh... I flew"

Love those!

[rohitiyer]

Bump!

[rohitiyer]

I'm wondering why this thread has been moved?

Okay, okay... so everyone is posting Superman quotes from previous versions.

But I'd originally intended this to be a thread where we could come up with possible dialogues for Superman in SR as well (Not just funny captions, mind you)

So what do you think Superman is going to say in the new movie?

Or what would you LIKE to hear him say?

[Andy C.]

That's probably not a very good idea, since everyone will turn this into another "Things Superman would never say" thread and fill it with lame lines ripped from Family Guy and Chapelle's Show.

[Tzigone]

Smallville
Eric: [Grabs Clark by the shirt] Come on, Clark. If you had the power to do whatever you want, what would you do?

Clark: I'd stop people like you.

Lois & Clark
Superman: . . .but when I can save a life, well... in that instant, I know two things most people never figure out: why I'm here and how I can make a difference.

[Araneae]

This is one my favorite excahanges from S:TAS

Lois Lane: I'm confused, Kent. See, I've lived in Metropolis most of my life and I can't figure out how some yokel from Smallville is suddenly getting every hot story in town.

Clark Kent: Well, Lois, the truth is I'm actually Superman in disguise, and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen and then squeeze you out of the byline.

Lois Lane: You're a sick man, Kent.

[animexcel]

Superman: "Mr. President, sorry I've been gone for so long. I'll never let you down again."
-Superman II

Lois: "How could you leave us like that?"
-Superman Returns

Superman: "Lois...I never lie."
-Superman the Movie

Clark Kent: "Excuse me sir, I think you're sitting in my favorite seat."
-Superman II

[mcflytrap]

What has two thumbs and loves to fly?

This guy!

[animexcel]

"You. What kind of a creature are you?"

"Just a man."

"Just a man?"