When I met Natalie Portman: A Story.

[Mister J]

http://www.planetklatt.de/pix/babes/natalie_portman_02.jpg :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

[hippy fascist]

This thread is a very clever troll.
- Whirly

No he's clearly just a sad lonely **** :cwink:

[Whirlysplat]

No he's clearly just a sad lonely **** :cwink:

I going to have to disagree, I think it's a bit of attention whoring worthy of a masterclass.

- Whirly

[NDX]

This has been an absolute blast to read. Funniest thread in a while. Now to block this from my memory.

[DOG LIPS]

http://www.planetklatt.de/pix/babes/natalie_portman_02.jpg
Lucky hand. :csad:

[Whirlysplat]

http://www.planetklatt.de/pix/babes/natalie_portman_02.jpg
Lucky hand. :csad:

I want to sniff it!

- Whirly

[DOG LIPS]

I want to sniff it!

- Whirly
I want to BE it! :wow:

[Whirlysplat]

I want to BE it! :wow:

Agreed, if you're it can I sniff you?

- Whirly

[Justice-Man]

http://www.moviesonline.ca/movie-gallery/albums/mallrats/mallrats.jpg




...dude...


stinkpalm...

[bored]

Should I post part 2 of the story? Nah, I'll leave that to imagination. Anyways, i'd like to add that when I met her and we had a great week (as friends) she gave me her cellphone number, but later changed it for other reasons and I haven't been able to contact her :csad:

http://www.planetklatt.de/pix/babes/natalie_portman_02.jpg


Ah, so now it's a 'great week as friends' after pretty strongly implying in the last one that you had sex? Continuity errors always mar fan fiction.

Btw, it's always good to see a woman so hot even she can't resist grabbing her own ass.

[Swordmaster]

Should I post part 2 of the story? Nah, I'll leave that to imagination. Anyways, i'd like to add that when I met her and we had a great week (as friends) she gave me her cellphone number, but later changed it for other reasons and I haven't been able to contact her :csad:

http://www.planetklatt.de/pix/babes/natalie_portman_02.jpg
I wonder why she changed it :dry:

[Kevin Roegele]

Allow me to post my own piece of fan fiction....

Mother: Hello? Anybody here? Oh, hi Jimmy.

Jimmy: Mom, I TOLD you to call me Star Wars Agent!

Mother: And I told you you're not going to another convention until you treat your father and me with some respect! Now have you been to school today?

Jimmy: School? Why go to school when I can hang out with Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill and....

Mother: ....don't say it...

Jimmy: .....Yoda.

Mother: Yoda isn't real! And you don't hang out with the Star Wars cast!

Mother calms down.

Mother: And Jimmy....I'm sorry but....Natalie Portman is NOT your girlfriend.

Jimmy (crying): Yes she is! YES SHE IS! I love her!

Mother looks out of the window and sees a female classmate of Jimmy's walk past. Then looks down at her son hunched over a monitor, with Natalie Portman adorned not only as the wallpaper, but as posters around her son's bedroom.

Mother: Jimmy....go out and talk to that girl. Or all your Star Wars merchendise goes in the trash.

Jimmy looks up with sceptical eyes but sees, this time, his mother is not kidding.

And so Jimmy tredges outside, right into the path of the girl.

Jimmy: Er......hi....

Girl: Your mom told you to come and talk to me, right?

Jimmy: No! Well.....yeah...

Girl: So did my mom.

The moral of the story is, never go thru life hiding because you think no-one will like you. Fantasizing about Natalie Portman is hiding from real life and real women. Go out and look and you'll find a million people like you and who DO like you.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

[Superhobo]

Alternate ending:

Jimmy: So, do you think it was right that Greedo shot first?
Girl: Greedo?
Jimmy: Greedo, the bounty hunter! Damn, *****. Learn yo'self.
Girl: Whatchoo say, boy?
Jimmy: Whore-****! Greedo couldn't kill nobody! Ho!

(Girl walks away.)

Jimmy: Wait, come back. I'm so lonely. LOVE ME!!!

[StarWarsAgent]

Allow me to post my own piece of fan fiction....

Mother: Hello? Anybody here? Oh, hi Jimmy.

Jimmy: Mom, I TOLD you to call me Star Wars Agent!

Mother: And I told you you're not going to another convention until you treat your father and me with some respect! Now have you been to school today?

Jimmy: School? Why go to school when I can hang out with Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill and....

Mother: ....don't say it...

Jimmy: .....Yoda.

Mother: Yoda isn't real! And you don't hang out with the Star Wars cast!

Mother calms down.

Mother: And Jimmy....I'm sorry but....Natalie Portman is NOT your girlfriend.

Jimmy (crying): Yes she is! YES SHE IS! I love her!

Mother looks out of the window and sees a female classmate of Jimmy's walk past. Then looks down at her son hunched over a monitor, with Natalie Portman adorned not only as the wallpaper, but as posters around her son's bedroom.

Mother: Jimmy....go out and talk to that girl. Or all your Star Wars merchendise goes in the trash.

Jimmy looks up with sceptical eyes but sees, this time, his mother is not kidding.

And so Jimmy tredges outside, right into the path of the girl.

Jimmy: Er......hi....

Girl: Your mom told you to come and talk to me, right?

Jimmy: No! Well.....yeah...

Girl: So did my mom.

The moral of the story is, never go thru life hiding because you think no-one will like you. Fantasizing about Natalie Portman is hiding from real life and real women. Go out and look and you'll find a million people like you and who DO like you.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.


lol, that's some good fiction. So My name is Jimmy now? alright, whatever works for U guys. BTW, I been with real girls man. I meet real girls all the time, I go to a club once a week and get to meet tons of hot chicks. And yes, I been married, unlike so many of you, still trying to figure it out. I've had tons of GF's, married..Trust me, I had my share of cute girls..including hanging out with Nat in Rosarito ! eat that! hahahaha.

[hippy fascist]

lol, that's some good fiction. So My name is Jimmy now? alright, whatever works for U guys. BTW, I been with real girls man. I meet real girls all the time, I go to a club once a week and get to meet tons of hot chicks. And yes, I been married, unlike so many of you, still trying to figure it out. I've had tons of GF's, married..Trust me, I had my share of cute girls..including hanging out with Nat in Rosarito ! eat that! hahahaha.

How do these women feel about makin bacon in your mom's basement?

[StarWarsAgent]

How do these women feel about makin bacon in your mom's basement?

Fascist! I make more than bacon in the bedroom.

[hippy fascist]

Fascist! I make more than bacon in the bedroom.

Diorama's of grevious getting his ass whupped? :o

[StarWarsAgent]

Diorama's of grevious getting his ass whupped? :o

No. But let's just say it involves something you never done before. :cwink:

[hippy fascist]

No. But let's just say it involves something you never done before. :cwink:

That's IT, I'm gonna have to kill myslef, when this guy calls you virgin you KNOW it's all gone downhill

[StarWarsAgent]

That's IT, I'm gonna have to kill myslef, when this guy calls you virgin you KNOW it's all gone downhill

When Your Jedi Belt is facing down. It's time to quit.

[Edd Extraordinaire]

This has got to be the funniest stalker fiction in the history of man.

[Fried Gold]

BTW, I been with real girls.LOL

[StarWarsAgent]

LOL

Just A reference to the guy with the fake plastic dolls sitting on his couch.

[Edd Extraordinaire]

Isn't that your collection, fanboy?

[hippy fascist]

Isn't that your collection, fanboy?

http://www.natalieportman.com/picstemp/amidala1.jpg

*star wars agent runs off to change pants*

:woot:

[StarWarsAgent]

http://www.natalieportman.com/picstemp/amidala1.jpg

*star wars agent runs off to change pants*

:woot:

lol, what the heck is that? that's not even the real dress from the movie! looks like a custom made Amidala doll. doesn't even look like Nat. WTH? oh well, all Nat gets :heart:

[Sloth7d]

:dry:

[StarWarsAgent]

http://pub.tv2.no/multimedia/na/archive/00191/Natalie_Portman__ba_191649m.jpg
She looks even hotter bald!!!!!:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

[Kevin Roegele]

lol, that's some good fiction. So My name is Jimmy now? alright, whatever works for U guys. BTW, I been with real girls man.

Aha!

So you're admitting Natalie Portman isn't a real girl you've met, just a fantasy? :woot:

[JackBauer]

http://www.lessur.com/myspace/kirk_spock.jpg

they're waiting for you, SWA...

[Justice-Man]

Anyone who actually uses the term "real girls" has got to have some serious loneliness issues...

BTW, I been with real girls man. I meet real girls all the time, I go to a club once a week and get to meet tons of hot chicks. And yes, I been married, unlike so many of you, still trying to figure it out. I've had tons of GF's, married..Trust me, I had my share of cute girls..including hanging out with Nat in Rosarito ! eat that! hahahaha.


Even if it were true, and... I mean... come on..., "I've had tons of GF's"? Please, maybe by Star Warrior standards, but I do love the fact that all of your statements are past-tense... ever wonder why that is?

Well, that's enough about the possibility of this being true. The fact of the matter is that if you had actually ever been with a "real girl" you just would talk the way you do. Anyone who reads anything you post would categorize you as a sad, strange little man and a potential stalker just pased on you wording alone. Not to mention the obvious fact that you seem to have major issues concerning reality as is common with most Star Warriors. At this point my advice would just be to let it go or just come clean and hope that people forget the little glimpse they got to see of your solitude.

... and if you don't trust me, just remember...

http://img111.imageshack.us/img111/7837/georgelucasaw0.jpg

[Whirlysplat]

This has got to be the funniest stalker fiction in the history of man.

Agreed it is pure genius!

- Whirly

[The Amazing Lee]

Starwarsagent....























































....I am your father!

[Justice-Man]

....I am your father!

and... we have a winner!

[Edd Extraordinaire]

Award goes to Amazing Lee.

[Tangled Web]

I love Natalie Portman. Agent, if you loved her, you would quit using her in your creepy stories you act out with your real dolls.

[SsM]

this thread is starting to get creepy

[Tangled Web]

OMG! Starwarsagent really did meet Natalie Portman!!! Here's a pic!!!



http://www.natalieportman.com/albums/private_2006_walking-the-dog-in-toronto2/toronto_24.sized.jpg

[Mike_D202]

It probably went more like this:

"I was dancing by myself because I was totally wasted during spring break and all the hot chicks were dancing away from me. I saw a chick that looked like Natalie Portman with my beer goggles so I was stumble-danced my way over to her. I smiled at her and she smiled back while turning away from me and began to dance the other way. But I could tell she wanted me because she smiled back at me anyways, so I followed her while wearing my *I love Yoda* t-shirt until her body guard pushed me to the ground and kicked sand in my face. The End."

[Kevin Roegele]

It probably went more like this:

"I was dancing by myself because I was totally wasted during spring break and all the hot chicks were dancing away from me. I saw a chick that looked like Natalie Portman with my beer goggles so I was stumble-danced my way over to her. I smiled at her and she smiled back while turning away from me and began to dance the other way. But I could tell she wanted me because she smiled back at me anyways, so I followed her while wearing my *I love Yoda* t-shirt until her body guard pushed me to the ground and kicked sand in my face. The End."


LOL

Or like this.....

"I was in my bedroom and decided to try and make people on the internet believe my stories."

[StarWarsAgent]

OMG! Starwarsagent really did meet Natalie Portman!!! Here's a pic!!!



http://www.natalieportman.com/albums/private_2006_walking-the-dog-in-toronto2/toronto_24.sized.jpg


lol, that's funny. But you gotz to remember we were in Rosarito, a resort in baja Mexico. it was summer and damn it was hot sometimes. I was wearing shorts and she wore a bikini most of the time. U gotta remember this was the best week of my life..it was almost like living another life.

[Sloth7d]

lol, that's funny. But you gotz to remember we were in Rosarito, a resort in baja Mexico. it was summer and damn it was hot sometimes. I was wearing shorts and she wore a bikini most of the time. U gotta remember this was the best week of my life..it was almost like living another life.
Hmmmm....:whatever:

[The Amazing Lee]

OMG I just met god!

[Edd Extraordinaire]

lol, that's funny. But you (1)gotz to remember we were in Rosarito, a resort in baja Mexico. it was summer and damn it was hot sometimes. (2)I was wearing shorts and she wore a bikini most of the time. U gotta remember this was the best week of my life..it was almost like living another life.

1. Nerd.

2. http://www.tobias.sky-dive.org/images/01.jpg

3. You're the biggest bulls**ter alive.

[Hunter Rider]

NAL+Avvy=definite gimmick poster

[yenaled]

LOL, how come I've never seen this thread before.

I love it.

[Duende Verde]

We already knew your story was fake from the beginning, but you keep telling it's real.
Now I've got the ultimate fact to proove it's fake.

You say you meet her in Senor Frog's Rosarito during spring break 1999...

SENOR FROG'S ROSARITO DIDN'T OPEN IT'S DOORS UNTIL FALL 1999

how do I know this? I made the coming soon ad.

[Mee]

I long for the days when we weren't sure SWA was putting on an act.:csad:

[Mike_D202]

This reminds me of the time some bald old guy thought he was the best looking person to play James Bond...

Although I dont know why this reminds me of that incident, probably the delusion these two guys have living in alternate realities.

[DOG LIPS]

I long for the days when we weren't sure SWA was putting on an act.:csad:
Yeah, it's not really funny anymore now that we know it's a show. Fo sho. :csad:

[SsM]

............... SO.... uhh... yeah :/


I never really found it "funny" but I've been told I lack a sense of humor...... so maybe it really was funny... but I dunno

[DOG LIPS]

I never really found it "funny" but I've been told I lack a sense of humor...... so maybe it really was funny... but I dunno
I didn't mean like "Ha ha" funny, I meant like "Point and laugh" funny. :csad:

[SsM]

oh.... yeah.. well... then OKAY! :-D it definately was point and laugh funny

but now its just.. look down and shake head

[hippy fascist]

http://www.superherohype.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=3783&d=1158780094

"...ah princess amidala I presume...we shall be very happy together..." :wow:

[SsM]

When I met George Lucas: A story

it was the week of 06.... and I was walking through walmart.. I think I was buying prison break... or smallville or something... and I'm going to the checkout..



and there he is... a guy that looks JUST like george lucas... i was like.... *points* *haha* and then I checked out and left...


It's hard to believe I know.. but every word is true :D

[Edd Extraordinaire]

We already knew your story was fake from the beginning, but you keep telling it's real.
Now I've got the ultimate fact to proove it's fake.

You say you meet her in Senor Frog's Rosarito during spring break 1999...

SENOR FROG'S ROSARITO DIDN'T OPEN IT'S DOORS UNTIL FALL 1999

how do I know this? I made the coming soon ad.

Case closed. SWA YOU FRAUD.

[bored]

We already knew your story was fake from the beginning, but you keep telling it's real.
Now I've got the ultimate fact to proove it's fake.

You say you meet her in Senor Frog's Rosarito during spring break 1999...

SENOR FROG'S ROSARITO DIDN'T OPEN IT'S DOORS UNTIL FALL 1999

how do I know this? I made the coming soon ad.


A fine pwnage, Mr. Verde.

[Tangled Web]

How can you be both a George Lucas fan and a Star Wars fan?

[Edd Extraordinaire]

It's like being both light and dark side.

[Sloth7d]

Wouldn't that be--like some sort of grey side?

[Kevin Roegele]

We already knew your story was fake from the beginning, but you keep telling it's real.
Now I've got the ultimate fact to proove it's fake.

You say you meet her in Senor Frog's Rosarito during spring break 1999...

SENOR FROG'S ROSARITO DIDN'T OPEN IT'S DOORS UNTIL FALL 1999

how do I know this? I made the coming soon ad.


You got him. You are the Hype! version of Elliot Ness. :up:

[Mike_D202]

Well not only that, but "Nat" was with ME that night, so there.

[Sloth7d]

As a matter of fact, I am "Natalie Portman" and I can confirm that I was with Mike D202 that night.

[Mr Sparkle]

We already knew your story was fake from the beginning, but you keep telling it's real.
Now I've got the ultimate fact to proove it's fake.

You say you meet her in Senor Frog's Rosarito during spring break 1999...

SENOR FROG'S ROSARITO DIDN'T OPEN IT'S DOORS UNTIL FALL 1999

how do I know this? I made the coming soon ad.


Oh Snap!
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/279/3344/400/zoolander04.jpg

[bored]

As a matter of fact, I am "Natalie Portman" and I can confirm that I was with Mike D202 that night.


They speak the truth. I know, 'cuz I was watching.

[Edd Extraordinaire]

And I filmed it.

[Immortalfire]

This is so stupid :whatever:

[Cyrusbales]

and still going.....:(

[Immortalfire]

The better wannabe stalker; StarWarsAgent, or Ghostrider87. :wow:

[Cyrusbales]

SWA takes it, the man is disturbed beyond belief, plz do tell of GR's exploits?

[hippy fascist]

SWA takes it, the man is disturbed beyond belief, plz do tell of GR's exploits?

Hooters Pimp :wow:

[Cyrusbales]

Hooters Pimp :wow:

okies, SWA probably needs the most psychiatric help!

[Immortalfire]

SWA takes it, the man is disturbed beyond belief, plz do tell of GR's exploits? He fell in love with a Hooters waitress, wrote a story about their love, and how they will be together forever...or something like that. Kind of scary.
He's also a fan of the Tennessee Titans and Chicago Cubs.

[Cyrusbales]

He fell in love with a Hooters waitress, wrote a story about their love, and how they will be together forever...or something like that. Kind of scary.
He's also a fan of the Tennessee Titans and Chicago Cubs.

at least he actually saw this person in real life, that's gotta be a little bit better?

[Immortalfire]

Perhaps. Ah geesh, he messaged me on Yahoo demanding to know what I meant when I called the Titans/Dolphins game today the Sunday Afternoon Toilet Bowl.

[Cyrusbales]

Perhaps. Ah geesh, he messaged me on Yahoo demanding to know what I meant when I called the Titans/Dolphins game today the Sunday Afternoon Toilet Bowl.

the worst person ever is creepy tim, i met him a couple years back, and he asked my mates name, the next day he knew his adress, phoine number, DOB and everything! He is the ultimate creepy bastard!

[Swordmaster]

This plae is no fun anymore now that SWA is banned :(

[DOG LIPS]

This plae is no fun anymore now that SWA is banned :(
Plus he changed his message board so you have to sign up. :csad:

[Hunter Rider]

How did he get banned ?:huh:

[Swordmaster]

Something about using an alternate name to post gay porn in the Lounge. You know, same old same old

[The Amazing Lee]

Always with the gay. :rolleyes:

[Darthphere]

Seriously, why gay porn?

[The Amazing Lee]

it's masculine. :up:

[hippy fascist]

Seriously, why gay porn?

I remeber that actually, it was kinda nasty. Let's just say it looked like it involved gargling...:wow:

**** that was him?!?!

[Mister J]

That's just nasty ...and not "good" nasty, but "you need your ass whipped" nasty. :down

Oh well, no more SWA. That sucks. A loon like that doesn't come around every day. We'll always have the memories of fresh hair though. :up:
http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/2695/vadersmellshairii6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[Edd Extraordinaire]

the worst person ever is creepy tim, i met him a couple years back, and he asked my mates name, the next day he knew his adress, phoine number, DOB and everything! He is the ultimate creepy bastard!

What about Spiderfreddie?

[Apollo]

hehe

[Kevin Roegele]

This video is EXACTLY how I imagine STW....except substitute wrestling for Star Wars...

http://gorillamask.net/cryfan.shtml

[webhead731]

Was that story posted in the thread supposed to be real?


omgrotfl.:D

[Portmanlover]

This story is great! can you tell us more?

[Sloth7d]

oh-no........

[The Apatow Crew]

oh-no........Yes he's returned.

you wanna know how? check his location.

[TrailerCues]

you wanna know how? check his location.

lol he changed it from Naboo to California

I wonder how long before hes banned again

[Sloth7d]

I hope he's not. This guy is too funny for words.:D

[SsM]

That didnt take long at all :(

[bored]

Reminds me of earlier in the year, when DrVenkman90 was banned. He came back, using his same location, to post about how he liked one of his own stories.


Poor guy was my biggest fan :(.

[The Apatow Crew]

That didnt take long at all :(Yeah i saw that. That didn't take long. Poor guy.

[bored]

Yeah i saw that. That didn't take long. Poor guy.


must....resist....temptation....

[The Apatow Crew]

must....resist....temptation....Resist what?

[bored]

Nothing, JAL. I'm just having fun.

[Apollo]

why did star wars agent get banned??

[paulyfknt90]

that was the biggest pile of bull **** ever.


psshh i went out with paris hilton, pam anderson, haily berry and jessica simpson all in one night

[webhead731]

I'm guessing he was banned in the first place for being a jerk.

Or he suffers some fantasy disorder and got too crazy.:confused: