*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Angel_Faerie]

It was a bad idea to give him the drawing? Just great. I can't do anything right.

[Erzengel]

Don't beat yourself up about it. We all have done similar things.

I was friends with this girl. Really good friends and to show her how much I liked her, I got her this out of print book for this Musical she liked and it got me jack squat.

In hindsight, if she didn't dig me before she wasn't going to do afterwards. But it's a lesson I learned.

[SpideyVille]

It was a bad idea to give him the drawing? Just great. I can't do anything right.

I once gave a drawing of Spongebob that I did because I knew how much she liked him. She gave me a hug and that was all. Nothing ever happened after that :csad:

Like Erz said, don't worry it. It's just a lesson learned, and you'll just laugh over the whole thing in a few years.

[Angel_Faerie]

I wish I could know who he was talking about in his speech. It's not like I can go up to him and say "Hey, Colter! Was it me you were talking about?"

Maybe I could ask one of his friends to ask him and then tell me what he says...no...Colter or his friend might lie...

I just want to know who! So I can stop wondering if it's me or some mystery girl! It's driving me insane!!!

[Erzengel]

From what you told us, it's not you. You don't sound like you really really talk to each other.

[Cunning Stunts]

Yeah, I'd stop wondering, if I were you. As I've said a number of times in this thread, sadly enough, I've been in your exact place before.

You know what I realized? I was pushing it. I kept becoming close friends with girls I'd like, only to be shut down by them. It also sounds to me that if this guy liked you, there wouldn't be question about it.

[Angel_Faerie]

From what you told us, it's not you. You don't sound like you really really talk to each other.

He said it was a girl he barely knew. It fits. It doesn't mean it's me, it just means it could be.

[Erzengel]

You want it to fit.

I mean yeah there's a chance it could be you, but you may really be setting yourself up for heartbreak.

[SpideyVille]

He said it was a girl he barely knew. It fits. It doesn't mean it's me, it just means it could be.

It only fits because you're focusing on interactions between you and him. But you're not focusing on his interactions with other people in his life. I mean it's not like you know everything about him, or everyone he knows (or barely knows). It may fit for you, but it doesn't mean you're the only one.

[Angel_Faerie]

Yeah, I'd stop wondering, if I were you. As I've said a number of times in this thread, sadly enough, I've been in your exact place before.

You know what I realized? I was pushing it. I kept becoming close friends with girls I'd like, only to be shut down by them. It also sounds to me that if this guy liked you, there wouldn't be question about it.

I'm trying not to push it. It's hard,though. He seems like the perfect guy for me. We have a lot in common. We have a similar taste in clothes, we both shop at Hot Topic, we have a similar taste in music, and our personalities are a lot alike.

[Cunning Stunts]

I'm trying not to push it. It's hard,though. He seems like the perfect guy for me. We have a lot in common. We have a similar taste in clothes, we both shop at Hot Topic, we have a similar taste in music, and our personalities are a lot alike.

I also shop at hot topic (rarely, although I have), you and I had similar backgrounds in high school when it comes to dating, and I'm sure you and I have a ton of similarities, as you, I, and a number of other people probably do. That doesn't make us a great match.

I promise you, you're pushing it- maybe not consciously on Colter, but you're pushing it on yourself. It's blatantly obvious with your posts, even if you don't acknowledge it. If you seriously want to pursue this guy, lay back, and let things come as they do. Guys aren't wowed by obsession and crying.

[Angel_Faerie]

It only fits because you're focusing on interactions between you and him. But you're not focusing on his interactions with other people in his life. I mean it's not like you know everything about him, or everyone he knows (or barely knows). It may fit for you, but it doesn't mean you're the only one.

That's true. This is a confusing situation. There are signs he doesn't like me, but there are also signs that he does. (IE: the whiteboard incident).

[Angel_Faerie]

I also shop at hot topic (rarely, although I have), you and I had similar backgrounds in high school when it comes to dating, and I'm sure you and I have a ton of similarities, as you, I, and a number of other people probably do. That doesn't make us a great match.

I promise you, you're pushing it- maybe not consciously on Colter, but you're pushing it on yourself. It's blatantly obvious with your posts, even if you don't acknowledge it. If you seriously want to pursue this guy, lay back, and let things come as they do. Guys aren't wowed by obsession and crying.

I'm going to start trying just sitting back and going with flow. It may not do anything, but it's worth a shot.

[SpideyVille]

I also shop at hot topic (rarely, although I have), you and I had similar backgrounds in high school when it comes to dating, and I'm sure you and I have a ton of similarities, as you, I, and a number of other people probably do. That doesn't make us a great match.

QFT :up:

Besides, sometimes opposites attracts, so you can't base how good of a couple you make just based on similarites

I promise you, you're pushing it- maybe not consciously on Colter, but you're pushing it on yourself. It's blatantly obvious with your posts, even if you don't acknowledge it. If you seriously want to pursue this guy, lay back, and let things come as they do. Guys aren't wowed by obsession and crying.

You make a good point here.

I'm going to start trying just sitting back and going with flow. It may not do anything, but it's worth a shot.

That's pretty much the best you can do at this point.

[Alex The Great]

i need teh love advice :csad:


so i know this girl. were friends and all, but i really like her. i wanna ask her out but i'm to much of a pussy to do such thing :csad:.
and plus. she's a god damn ''popular'' girl and i'm well......not. waaaaaay not. lol. so for all i know she could just laugh her ass off and i'm eternaly doomed to humiliation.
oh the joys of high school :up:

[Cunning Stunts]

i need teh love advice :csad:


so i know this girl. were friends and all, but i really like her. i wanna ask her out but i'm to much of a pussy to do such thing :csad:.
and plus. she's a god damn ''popular'' girl and i'm well......not. waaaaaay not. lol. so for all i know she could just laugh her ass off and i'm eternaly doomed to humiliation.
oh the joys of high school :up:

I'll tell you:

A.- What EVERYONE told me

B.- I didn't want to believe

And C.- I now know was the brutal truth-

Do it, or get the **** over it.

[The Guard]

Think of it this way: What's the worst thing that could happen? Well, in high school terms, she could reject you or embarass you, in which case you will either learn or grow after the inevitable "Why am I not good enough" phase. Rejection isn't fun, but it isn't the end of the world. The best kept secret in terms of confidence: You build confidence by overcoming the fear of rejection and embarassment. I have met many guys who are uber-confident and believe me, they have some horror stories in their past.

So what if she might laugh her ass off? She MIGHT. If she does, that would make her a ***** with a complete lack of empathy, not much of a friend, and you would know three things:

1. She's a *****
2. She's not worth the time obsessing about
3. She's not even worth having as a friend

I had a similar situation in high school, as we all do. It was THE popular girl, and we weren't even friends. I was too much of a wuss to ask her out, so my friend did it for me. He comes back with her number and a message saying "she has a boyfriend right now, but she'd really like to get to know you better". Didn't bother following up on it. Found out years later that she actually did like me, and was actually kind of hurt that I never followed up.

Go figure.

[Alex The Great]

good advice.
:up:

here's another thing. it could ruin are friendship. that isn't a ''get over it'' thing.

[Cunning Stunts]

QFT :up:

Besides, sometimes opposites attracts, so you can't base how good of a couple you make just based on similarites



You make a good point here.



That's pretty much the best you can do at this point.

'Bout time somebody recognizes the genius, lmao.

I only say that because I've honestly been through the situations millions of times, and I got my "heart broken" every time. It took 'til college to get into a relationship that lasted longer than a month, and I'm happy as hell now.

Was I truly happy with any relationship I had in high school? Hell no. Did waiting two years get me somewhere? Yes- slowly, but yes.

And you're spot-on with opposites attracting- sometimes, but they do. My girlfriend and I are completely different:

I'm an athlete, she's a band geek. I'm into comics, she's into manga (gross). I like heavy metal, she's more into oldies and classical.

Yet, somehow, we've been together nine months. Angel, I didn't mean to berate you, if that's at all how it seemed. I just can't stress enough how I've been in your exact position a million times- only have have my heart theoretically broken. You'll find someone- if I could, I promise you, you can.

[Cunning Stunts]

good advice.
:up:

here's another thing. it could ruin are friendship. that isn't a ''get over it'' thing.

Yeah, it really is. Look at it this way:

If she's willing to break off your friendship simply because you're attracted to her, was she really that great of a friend in the first place?

Probably not.

[The Guard]

Exactly.

You have to weigh what COULD happen with what COULD happen and decide which you care about more. Odds are if you think of her "like that" then you don't really value or truly want the level of friendship you have now, because you're yearning for more. And it could also be difficult to go back to being "just friends" anyway, even if she's ok with you having feelings for her.

No one said it was easy, but it's not the end of the world.

I've heard the "it could ruin our friendship" line so many times. I don't know that it's ever held water. Especially if you approach her about it in a respectful way.

[Alex The Great]

heh. she's single. i know that. i'd really have a go at asking her out. but...SHE'S NEVER ALONE!!!
I'll walk outside and see her with a douzen buddies. go inside and she's with like...5 or 4 friends. she's rarely alone.

Harry Potter: Why do they always travel in...Packs?

[The Guard]

Here's the thing...

Asking her when she's alone is one thing.

Ask her when she's with a group of friends...and not only will she think you have balls, you'll probably make the rest of them jealous, which will work well in context.

[SpideyVille]

heh. she's single. i know that. i'd really have a go at asking her out. but...SHE'S NEVER ALONE!!!
I'll walk outside and see her with a douzen buddies. go inside and she's with like...5 or 4 friends. she's rarely alone.

Harry Potter: Why do they always travel in...Packs?


LOL, that is so true. I delayed asking a girl out so many times because of this.

And Guard has a point about how asking her out in front of friends could be a good thin. Though the problem I used to run into a lot was that the friends would always get in the way of me and the girl I liked. Even if I asked her to just talk on the side, her friends would always get involved.

[Alex The Great]

possibly....i'll meditate on this..... :erz:

there is a dance tommorrow. and there will be the slow dancing crap....hmmmm.....but i can't dance :csad::o:oldrazz:

but hey. i'm prolly the nicest guy in the school. every gy is a god damn jerk. and besides i aint the most good looking dude. hopefully she's a sucker for nice guys :up:
i'll see how things go.

[The Guard]

So ask her to teach you how to dance. At the dance. :)

[Alex The Great]

GENUIS!
and if i play my cards right i might get laid :hyper:


MORG SWITCH OFF
Morg Switch On

:o

[Alex The Great]

the sad thing is. i never really get to taslk to ehr much. she's always yapping with friends. there's always a ''hi'' here and there. but well....yeah.
this is actually my first REAL time i really wanted to ask a girl out. i guess the first tiem is always the hardest

[Cunning Stunts]

heh. she's single. i know that. i'd really have a go at asking her out. but...SHE'S NEVER ALONE!!!
I'll walk outside and see her with a douzen buddies. go inside and she's with like...5 or 4 friends. she's rarely alone.

Harry Potter: Why do they always travel in...Packs?

:pal:Well, referencing her and her friends to Harry Potter just lost you all of your chances right there.

[Superman79]

the sad thing is. i never really get to taslk to ehr much. she's always yapping with friends. there's always a ''hi'' here and there. but well....yeah.
this is actually my first REAL time i really wanted to ask a girl out. i guess the first tiem is always the hardest

It is. But we all do it so suck it up, grow a pair, and ask her. :o


but hey. i'm prolly the nicest guy in the school. every gy is a god damn jerk. and besides i aint the most good looking dude. hopefully she's a sucker for nice guys :up:
i'll see how things go.

Nice guys finish last. :o

That said, its possible to be a good guy, and not 'nice', nice means people can walk all over you, good means your a decent fella but know how to stand your ground. Shoot for 'good' drop 'nice'. :up:

I'll tell you:

A.- What EVERYONE told me

B.- I didn't want to believe

And C.- I now know was the brutal truth-

Do it, or get the **** over it.

QFT. :o

i need teh love advice


so i know this girl. were friends and all, but i really like her. i wanna ask her out but i'm to much of a pussy to do such thing :csad:.
and plus. she's a god damn ''popular'' girl and i'm well......not. waaaaaay not. lol. so for all i know she could just laugh her ass off and i'm eternaly doomed to humiliation.
oh the joys of high school :up:

There is no eternal humiliation. Get up, rub some dirt on it, and walk it off (as they say in sports) You can only feel as bad as you wanna feel. You dwell on it, you lose. You say "whatever" and brush it off...you win.

once more with gusto (and the utmost tough-love intention...like a football coach):

Suck it up, grow a pair, and DO IT...ask her out.


Best of luck.

[Superman79]

:pal:Well, referencing her and her friends to Harry Potter just lost you all of your chances right there.

valid point :csad:

[Alex The Great]

lol. *grows pair*

now to go plan :ninja:

it'll prolly be a no. but eh....oh well.heh it's funy. the teacher forced us to change where we sit because everyone was talking to much in class.....i decided to sit right behind her.
now everytiek she stands up. i get a good look at her fine, tooted heiney.
:up:

[Cunning Stunts]

lol. *grows pair*

now to go plan :ninja:

it'll prolly be a no. but eh....oh well.heh it's funy. the teacher forced us to change where we sit because everyone was talking to much in class.....i decided to sit right behind her.
now everytiek she stands up. i get a good look at her fine, tooted heiney.
:up:


so i'll ask her....tommorrrow....at the dance.
as long as i don't freeze up, i'll be fine
by freeze up i mean. just, your brain just. frezzes. you just stutter and don't talk.

To be honest, I hope for her sake, she turns you down.

Not necessarily because it's degrading to look at her behind, but to call her ass a "fine, tooted heiney," you... You just fail.

[Ghostvirus]

Glad to see this thread still trucking.:up:

[amazingfantasy15]

lol. *grows pair*

now to go plan :ninja:

it'll prolly be a no. but eh....oh well.heh it's funy. the teacher forced us to change where we sit because everyone was talking to much in class.....i decided to sit right behind her.
now everytiek she stands up. i get a good look at her fine, tooted heiney.
:up:


so i'll ask her....tommorrrow....at the dance.
as long as i don't freeze up, i'll be fine
by freeze up i mean. just, your brain just. frezzes. you just stutter and don't talk.

You just ruined everything with this post, you're not a nice guy, you're even worse than those jocks in your school. Sitting next to or behind her so you had a better chance to talk to her and get to know you would have been a good move, but just so you can ogle her @$$, boooooooo. Had some good advice for you too, now I just hope you make a huge @$$of yourself at the dance.

[Superman79]

You just ruined everything with this post, you're not a nice guy, you're even worse than those jocks in your school. Sitting next to or behind her so you had a better chance to talk to her and get to know you would have been a good move, but just so you can ogle her @$$, boooooooo. Had some good advice for you too, now I just hope you make a huge @$$of yourself at the dance.

Seconded and signed. :o

[GoldenAgeHero]

Wow, so you guys are telling me you've never checked out a girl's assets? I don't how that doesn't make him a nice guy, But it does make him a typical male teenager with full hormone rage.


Just do your thing symbiote and now that you have the advantage of sitting behind her try to tlak to her more but don't get in the friend zone..keep everything casual between you two. When the moment is right just ask her out have her face you look into her eyes and just blurt out " you want to go out sometime?"


seriously Blurt out tho, that way you won't have time to stumble upon your words.

[Erzengel]

I hate to agree with GAH but yeah I scoped out women who sat in front of me.

[GoldenAgeHero]

why does everyone hate to agree with me?:(

[Gilpesh]

I hate to agree with GAH but yeah I scoped out women who sat in front of me.

Yeah, but that was his only reason for sitting behind her... and apparently he is supposed to be a huge nice guy that wants to start up a relationship.

So you don't have to agree with GAH. :woot:

[Superman79]

I hate to agree with GAH but yeah I scoped out women who sat in front of me.

scoping is fine...setting yourself up so you sit next to her to stare at her butt rather than to talk to her and advance the relationship just says to me his head is in the right place...that and who calls it a "fine, tooted heiney" :huh:

[Erzengel]

Well I lose more respect for him calling it a heiney.

[amazingfantasy15]

Wow, so you guys are telling me you've never checked out a girl's assets? I don't how that doesn't make him a nice guy, But it does make him a typical male teenager with full hormone rage.

Just do your thing symbiote and now that you have the advantage of sitting behind her try to tlak to her more but don't get in the friend zone..keep everything casual between you two. When the moment is right just ask her out have her face you look into her eyes and just blurt out " you want to go out sometime?"

seriously Blurt out tho, that way you won't have time to stumble upon your words.

There's a difference though, there's checking a girl out and there's purposely sitting behind a girl to you can check her out, rather than actually talk to her, then say you're a nice guy. If he was doing this anywhere outside the school walls he'd be considered a peeping Tom. "So I started eating lunch under the bleachers so anytime this girl eats there and is wearing a skirt I can look up it, hehe." If he said something like, well we had to move seats and I purposely sat behind her so I'd be in a better position to talk to her every so often and get to know her better and hey, the view ain't bad either. That would be fine, what he said just sounds creepy.

[Jessica Drew]

My bestfriend is a lesbian and a few months ago she broke up with this girl she was really crazy about. About a month ago broke up my former bestfriend turned boyfriend. We've been extremely close friends for about a year and a half and lately we've been developing feelings for each other. At first I thought we were both on the rebound, but damn, I'm really crazy about her. She's the first girl I've ever really had these kind of feelings for and she told me that she thought I might be THE girl...We decided we just want to be friends because we're stronger as friends, but everytime we hang out we end up kissing and each time I get butterflies. We were going to see each other today, but I'm so scared that things are going to progress and we are so much stronger as friends then anything else. What do I do? Do I take a HUGE risk and go for it, or do I take a break from her and try to distract myself with my guy friends?

[Erzengel]

How old are you?

[Jessica Drew]

I'll PM you my age.

[Erzengel]

Not even discussing the lesbian aspect of this just yet, it's fairly common to fall for a friend especially if you 2 have just broken up with your respective others. But, you have to see if it's worth it. Is it worth ruining the friendship for something more. If it's yes, then you should try and start dating her.

To the lesbian aspect, do you think you are possibly bi? Or maybe a lesbian yourself?

[amazingfantasy15]

My bestfriend is a lesbian and a few months ago she broke up with this girl she was really crazy about. About a month ago broke up my former bestfriend turned boyfriend. We've been extremely close friends for about a year and a half and lately we've been developing feelings for each other. At first I thought we were both on the rebound, but damn, I'm really crazy about her. She's the first girl I've ever really had these kind of feelings for and she told me that she thought I might be THE girl...We decided we just want to be friends because we're stronger as friends, but everytime we hang out we end up kissing and each time I get butterflies. We were going to see each other today, but I'm so scared that things are going to progress and we are so much stronger as friends then anything else. What do I do? Do I take a HUGE risk and go for it, or do I take a break from her and try to distract myself with my guy friends?

Your friend might just be scared she'll be your "experiment" going out with girls, which is a very valid concern if you've only been interested in guys till now and just become interested in her that way after a breakup, was it a bad breakup. Maybe you need to talk to her and see if that's an issue with her. You two start going out as an actual couple and you realize you aren't actually gay/lesbian, that could very well ruin the friendship. I think since you two do occasionally get psyhical, it's worth talking about possibly taking it to the next level and the fears each of you have about talking it to the next level.

All that said, lesbians are hot!

[Erzengel]

Not all lesbians, it's not always like the videos.

[amazingfantasy15]

Not all lesbians, it's not always like the videos.

You're right on that one, but the idea of two girls making out is hot and whenever that idea pops in my head, no butch lesbians are involved.

[Jessica Drew]

Not even discussing the lesbian aspect of this just yet, it's fairly common to fall for a friend especially if you 2 have just broken up with your respective others. But, you have to see if it's worth it. Is it worth ruining the friendship for something more. If it's yes, then you should try and start dating her.

To the lesbian aspect, do you think you are possibly bi? Or maybe a lesbian yourself?
We've both already come to the conclusion that it isn't worth ruining the friendship, but everytime we start to move on...things start up again. We were actually doing really great until I started talking to my ex again. She admitted that she was really jealous after she had told me that she was over me last week.

I think I'm bi. Like I said, I've always dated guys and never really realized I had feelings for girls until her. The thing is, guys have made me weak at the knees before, but she makes me weak at the knees every time.

Your friend might just be scared she'll be your "experiment" going out with girls, which is a very valid concern if you've only been interested in guys till now and just become interested in her that way after a breakup, was it a bad breakup. Maybe you need to talk to her and see if that's an issue with her. You two start going out as an actual couple and you realize you aren't actually gay/lesbian, that could very well ruin the friendship. I think since you two do occasionally get psyhical, it's worth talking about possibly taking it to the next level and the fears each of you have about talking it to the next level.

All that said, lesbians are hot!
LOL! Well, we've discussed taking it to the next level to see if we would get freaked out and realize we're just friends...but we never freak out. Actually, it sounds nice.

[Erzengel]

I mean you already lost one of your best friends/boyfriends.

You guys just might be vulnerable.

Also, you run into the trouble that you are also attracted to guys. Something she may not be cool with.

[Jessica Drew]

You're right on that one, but the idea of two girls making out is hot and whenever that idea pops in my head, no butch lesbians are involved.
LMAO!!! Neither of us are butch, although we both agree that she's definitely the guy in the relationship.

[Jessica Drew]

I mean you already lost one of your best friends/boyfriends.

You guys just might be vulnerable.

Also, you run into the trouble that you are also attracted to guys. Something she may not be cool with.
You're right, even though him and I are still talking we can't go back to the way things were before we started. Things might already be that way with her and I though.

I don't know if I should cancel my plans with her today. I know that eventually we're going to take this a step too far.

[amazingfantasy15]

We've both already come to the conclusion that it isn't worth ruining the friendship, but everytime we start to move on...things start up again. We were actually doing really great until I started talking to my ex again. She admitted that she was really jealous after she had told me that she was over me last week.

I think I'm bi. Like I said, I've always dated guys and never really realized I had feelings for girls until her. The thing is, guys have made me weak at the knees before, but she makes me weak at the knees every time.

LOL! Well, we've discussed taking it to the next level to see if we would get freaked out and realize we're just friends...but we never freak out. Actually, it sounds nice.

Who suggested that you should stay friends though? I know you both agreed that's the best course to take, but who initially said, maybe we should take a step back. I think more than ruining the friendship, a bigger concern is that this is new territory to you. Have you ever been interested in girls that way before her?

[amazingfantasy15]

You're right, even though him and I are still talking we can't go back to the way things were before we started. Things might already be that way with her and I though.

I don't know if I should cancel my plans with her today. I know that eventually we're going to take this a step too far.

I wouldn't cancel plans with her, just keep your hands and lips to yourself.

[Erzengel]

Unless you two are drinking, even if, self control is pretty easy unless you have conflicting thoughts to the contrary.

[DV8]

so, Angel Faerie . . . if you can't post a pic of yourself, why not posting the drawing you did of yourself :hehe:

[Jessica Drew]

Who suggested that you should stay friends though? I know you both agreed that's the best course to take, but who initially said, maybe we should take a step back. I think more than ruining the friendship, a bigger concern is that this is new territory to you. Have you ever been interested in girls that way before her?
I was the one who initially brought it up. She's the type who will just do something and regret it later, while I'm the one who stops in the middle and says, "What the hell are we doing?"

I can't say I haven't had feelings for girls in the past, but it's always been much stronger for guys. Not with her.

[Jessica Drew]

I wouldn't cancel plans with her, just keep your hands and lips to yourself.

Unless you two are drinking, even if, self control is pretty easy unless you have conflicting thoughts to the contrary.
MMmm, every time we hang out we are both trying to control ourselves. It gets really hard when you want someone more then anyone and you know they want you back. The hard part is that I never try anything. She does, and it's so hard to say no. Last time she kissed me, I didn't want to pull away, but I did...so she just grabbed my head with all of her strength and held me in place while she continued to kiss me.

[Superman79]

I was the one who initially brought it up. She's the type who will just do something and regret it later, while I'm the one who stops in the middle and says, "What the hell are we doing?"

I can't say I haven't had feelings for girls in the past, but it's always been much stronger for guys. Not with her.

Depending on your age, it may be better to hold off. (If your younger you may find a guy that inspires the same feelings in time. If you're older, then there is always the possibility she is the gal for you)

If its much stronger for guys normally, a big thing that might be making your connection to this girl so strong is, as Erz said, your current mutual vulnerability and the fact that you mesh so well as friends.

Best just to take it slow and see what develops...

[Manosman]

I was the one who initially brought it up. She's the type who will just do something and regret it later, while I'm the one who stops in the middle and says, "What the hell are we doing?"

I can't say I haven't had feelings for girls in the past, but it's always been much stronger for guys. Not with her.

another thing that may contribute to your stronger feelings toward this girl than you've ever had for any other guy is that, it seems this is your first lesbian experience, and the excitment of something new and something you've never done before might add to the butterflies you are feeling..............I may be way off but just a thought. :cwink:

[amazingfantasy15]

I was the one who initially brought it up. She's the type who will just do something and regret it later, while I'm the one who stops in the middle and says, "What the hell are we doing?"

I can't say I haven't had feelings for girls in the past, but it's always been much stronger for guys. Not with her.

MMmm, every time we hang out we are both trying to control ourselves. It gets really hard when you want someone more then anyone and you know they want you back. The hard part is that I never try anything. She does, and it's so hard to say no. Last time she kissed me, I didn't want to pull away, but I did...so she just grabbed my head with all of her strength and held me in place while she continued to kiss me.

I think the question now is what are you afraid of then? Is it being labeled a lesbian? Coming out to friends and family? Everything you're saying says you both want to be together and now you're thinking of staying away from her because you can't control you're feelings, which will obviously hurt or destroy your friendship. I'd say go for it, you seem to like each other that way, see how you work as an actual couple. From everything you're saying it just seems like you two can't be just friends until you explore these feelings you have and see where it takes you. Your friend probably wants more, but is saying okay to just staying friends 'cause you've suggested it, if you say you want more, she'll probably say yes and in her mind say "finally!"

[Angel_Faerie]

so, Angel Faerie . . . if you can't post a pic of yourself, why not posting the drawing you did of yourself :hehe:

I gave it to Colter. He still has it.

[Alex The Great]

To be honest, I hope for her sake, she turns you down.

Not necessarily because it's degrading to look at her behind, but to call her ass a "fine, tooted heiney," you... You just fail.

You just ruined everything with this post, you're not a nice guy, you're even worse than those jocks in your school. Sitting next to or behind her so you had a better chance to talk to her and get to know you would have been a good move, but just so you can ogle her @$$, boooooooo. Had some good advice for you too, now I just hope you make a huge @$$of yourself at the dance.
:csad:
she wasn't even there......she was sick as i was told. so well.....guesss there's always next week.
oh and by the way. twas a joke. i actually do whant to sit right behind her and talk to here and all that jazz.

[Cunning Stunts]

Depending on your age, it may be better to hold off. (If your younger you may find a guy that inspires the same feelings in time. If you're older, then there is always the possibility she is the gal for you)

If its much stronger for guys normally, a big thing that might be making your connection to this girl so strong is, as Erz said, your current mutual vulnerability and the fact that you mesh so well as friends.

Best just to take it slow and see what develops...

Bingo, as with all relationships.

Jessica Drew: Seriously, why resist? If you truly feel for the girl, as Superman79 said, just take it slow. Treat it like a normal relationship. Lay back, if it's to happen, I'm sure it will.

Don't be afraid- obviously, this being your first "try" at a lesbian relationship, I know it'll be scary- but just treat it like you normally would. Just advise your friend not to push you (physically or emotionally), so as to allow yourself to become more comfortable with it. If she's smart about it, she'll give you all the room she needs so the outcome she's hoping for can turn up.

[Alex The Great]

that's what i hope to do. take it slow and stuff.

[dolfan55aj]

Really cliche problem right here, but I really don't know how to go about it. I really like this girl who goes to my school, and I guess I could consider us friends, but I only talk to her like once a day for like a minute between classes, and besides that it's just online. I like her, I just don't know how to go about taking the relationship further. I've never liked someone seriously, and I really don't want to screw things up by asking her wrong and scaring her off. You guys seem experienced, what do you say?

[Gilpesh]

I guess the best advice would be to try and talk to her more in person and hang out with her more. That way you can see how she acts around you and you can get a better feel for if she thinks the same way of you.

Might help you in deciding the whole, ask or not thing.

But seeing as I'm cynical... she hates you. There, totally covered my ass.

[SpideyVille]

Really cliche problem right here, but I really don't know how to go about it. I really like this girl who goes to my school, and I guess I could consider us friends, but I only talk to her like once a day for like a minute between classes, and besides that it's just online. I like her, I just don't know how to go about taking the relationship further. I've never liked someone seriously, and I really don't want to screw things up by asking her wrong and scaring her off. You guys seem experienced, what do you say?

Yeah, you already admitted that you barely talk in person, so that's definitely the major area to improve on. Do you have any classes with her? And if you're able to talk to her for a minute in between classes, why not try to extend that to during class, if you have one together, or after school? But seriously, it's okay to talk to someone online, but don't think that that's how anything is gonna start up with you two. Talking in person is the best way to improve a relationship with someone.

[Angel_Faerie]

Y'know, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I realized something: I don't think I have a crush on Colter. I think it's much stronger than that. I've never felt this strongly about any boy before in my life. I can't even desribe it. I feel really drawn to him and every inch of me just wants to be close to him and make him happy. To be the reason he smiles would mean more to me than anything I've done in my life up to this point. I'm starting to wonder if I could be seriously in love with him. I'm still sitting back and relaxing, I'm not going to do anything, but this waiting period is giving me time to think about these sort of things.

[amazingfantasy15]

Y'know, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I realized something: I don't think I have a crush on Colter. I think it's much stronger than that. I've never felt this strongly about any boy before in my life. I can't even desribe it. I feel really drawn to him and every inch of me just wants to be close to him and make him happy. To be the reason he smiles would mean more to me than anything I've done in my life up to this point. I'm starting to wonder if I could be seriously in love with him. I'm still sitting back and relaxing, I'm not going to do anything, but this waiting period is giving me time to think about these sort of things.

What good is coming here to ask for advice if you don't listen to the advice? He's not interested in you, everything you've said in this thread points to that. You've got to move on, you're only feeling this way because you aren't able to be with him. It's like forbidden fruit, you can't have it, so you want it even more. Please stop now before you and Colter becomes a joke like GhostVirus and PharmacyGirl or GR87 and his many ladies. Sorry to be harsh, but you need it.

[SpideyVille]

Y'know, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I realized something: I don't think I have a crush on Colter. I think it's much stronger than that. I've never felt this strongly about any boy before in my life. I can't even desribe it. I feel really drawn to him and every inch of me just wants to be close to him and make him happy. To be the reason he smiles would mean more to me than anything I've done in my life up to this point. I'm starting to wonder if I could be seriously in love with him. I'm still sitting back and relaxing, I'm not going to do anything, but this waiting period is giving me time to think about these sort of things.

One thing I hate about the entertainment business is that they use the term "love" so loosely that people think any good feeling they have for someone is love. But it's not. You're only infatuated with him. Love is too strong of a word, especially since you're not with him. You should only love him if he does things for you that make your life worth living, if he gives you the strength to wake up everyday, if he makes you feel more special than you've ever felt. You may feel like he does, but honestly, it doesn't sound like he's doing anything for you. He doesn't make any effort to talk to you unless he's forced to, or you approach him. I know they may sound harsh, but it doesn't seem like he cares about you. You may think what you feel is love, but it's not because there is nothing to justify those feelings. Like you said, you're doing a lot of thinking, and those feelings are just your mind playing tricks on you. You're feelings are just based on things that don't exist. You still have hope that maybe he likes you, but until you realize that he's probably not interested and you just forget about thinking of him or you and him together, you're gonna keep feeling like there's something there between you too, even though there's not.

Love is a great feeling, both to be loved and to love, but it's not something that you can feel on your own. The longer it takes you to realize this, the more it's gonna hurt when you finally realize it.

[Angel_Faerie]

What good is coming here to ask for advice if you don't listen to the advice? He's not interested in you, everything you've said in this thread points to that. You've got to move on, you're only feeling this way because you aren't able to be with him. It's like forbidden fruit, you can't have it, so you want it even more. Please stop now before you and Colter becomes a joke like GhostVirus and PharmacyGirl or GR87 and his many ladies. Sorry to be harsh, but you need it.

I AM following you guys' advice. Some of you in here (as well as my friends in real life) have told me to sit back, chill, and wait to see what he does (IF he does anything). So, that's what I'm doing for now.

[Angel_Faerie]

One thing I hate about the entertainment business is that they use the term "love" so loosely that people think any good feeling they have for someone is love. But it's not. You're only infatuated with him. Love is too strong of a word, especially since you're not with him. You should only love him if he does things for you that make your life worth living, if he gives you the strength to wake up everyday, if he makes you feel more special than you've ever felt. You may feel like he does, but honestly, it doesn't sound like he's doing anything for you. He doesn't make any effort to talk to you unless he's forced to, or you approach him. I know they may sound harsh, but it doesn't seem like he cares about you. You may think what you feel is love, but it's not because there is nothing to justify those feelings. Like you said, you're doing a lot of thinking, and those feelings are just your mind playing tricks on you. You're feelings are just based on things that don't exist. You still have hope that maybe he likes you, but until you realize that he's probably not interested and you just forget about thinking of him or you and him together, you're gonna keep feeling like there's something there between you too, even though there's not.

Love is a great feeling, both to be loved and to love, but it's not something that you can feel on your own. The longer it takes you to realize this, the more it's gonna hurt when you finally realize it.

I keep trying to forget about him, but when I do, it hurts so much that I stop trying. Breaking your own heart is ten times as painful as having your heart broken. It also doesn't help that I see him every day in class. It's hard to forget someone when they're right there.


Oh jeez. Thinking about all this is making me start to cry. Good thing no one's looking my way, or I'd look like a crazy girl who's crying in the middle of class.

[Angel_Faerie]

One thing I hate about the entertainment business is that they use the term "love" so loosely that people think any good feeling they have for someone is love. But it's not. You're only infatuated with him. Love is too strong of a word, especially since you're not with him. You should only love him if he does things for you that make your life worth living, if he gives you the strength to wake up everyday, if he makes you feel more special than you've ever felt. You may feel like he does, but honestly, it doesn't sound like he's doing anything for you. He doesn't make any effort to talk to you unless he's forced to, or you approach him. I know they may sound harsh, but it doesn't seem like he cares about you. You may think what you feel is love, but it's not because there is nothing to justify those feelings. Like you said, you're doing a lot of thinking, and those feelings are just your mind playing tricks on you. You're feelings are just based on things that don't exist. You still have hope that maybe he likes you, but until you realize that he's probably not interested and you just forget about thinking of him or you and him together, you're gonna keep feeling like there's something there between you too, even though there's not.

Love is a great feeling, both to be loved and to love, but it's not something that you can feel on your own. The longer it takes you to realize this, the more it's gonna hurt when you finally realize it.

I keep trying to forget about him, but when I do, it hurts so much that I stop trying. Breaking your own heart is ten times as painful as having your heart broken. It also doesn't help that I see him every day in class. It's hard to forget someone when they're right there.

Oh jeez. Thinking about all this is making me start to cry. Good thing no one's looking my way, or I'd look like a crazy girl who's crying in the middle of class.

[SpideyVille]

I keep trying to forget about him, but when I do, it hurts so much that I stop trying. Breaking your own heart is ten times as painful as having your heart broken. It also doesn't help that I see him every day in class. It's hard to forget someone when they're right there.

Oh jeez. Thinking about all this is making me start to cry. Good thing no one's looking my way, or I'd look like a crazy girl who's crying in the middle of class.

I'm sorry, but just can't agree with this. It's never easy to break your own heart, but it sure as hell hurts a lot less than investing so much time, energy, and effort into someone and then having them rip out your heart and crush it as if it were nothing. That's like saying it's easier to continue fight in a war where you are severely outnumbered and are pretty much waiting for a miracle, than to just give up on your own. The smarter move is to admit defeat and leave on your own two feet instead of to keep on fighting and end up leaving on a stretcher.

If you really want to get over him, you have to learn to not pay attention to him. You say you're going to stop trying to get him, but at the same time, it's like you're waiting for him to make a move. That's not the right approach because he might not even make that move, so you're there putting your life on hold for nothing. And even if he does make that move, the fact that you're waiting for it isn't helping because you're only getting more disappointed every second or minute that passes where he doesn't do anything. Seriously, just forget about him. If he makes a move, then that's great and you should be happy. But if he doesn't, you shouldn't be sad because it only means that there's someone else out there who is gonna make you feel 100x better, and will actually take the time to get to know you and appreciate you for who you are.

[Cunning Stunts]

Y'know, I've been thinking about it a lot, and I realized something: I don't think I have a crush on Colter. I think it's much stronger than that. I've never felt this strongly about any boy before in my life. I can't even desribe it. I feel really drawn to him and every inch of me just wants to be close to him and make him happy. To be the reason he smiles would mean more to me than anything I've done in my life up to this point. I'm starting to wonder if I could be seriously in love with him. I'm still sitting back and relaxing, I'm not going to do anything, but this waiting period is giving me time to think about these sort of things.

You're in tenth grade (if I'm not mistaken), you're going to say this a numerously throughout high school.

You're not in love with him. It's very rare that anyone in high school is actually in love.

I used to be hardcore against that, "You can't be in love until ," but it's pretty much true for most people these days. "Love" is thrown around [I]way too easily these days.

You're not in love. You're in like. Promise.

[The Guard]

"Love" or "Infatuation"...let's face it, they are undergoing some strong feelings. Calling it an infatuation doesn't make it feel any less powerful or make it any less difficult to deal with. The key is to understand it, not take it at it's face value as an "emotion".

[Angel_Faerie]

You're in tenth grade (if I'm not mistaken), you're going to say this a numerously throughout high school.

You're not in love with him. It's very rare that anyone in high school is actually in love.

I used to be hardcore against that, "You can't be in love until ," but it's pretty much true for most people these days. "Love" is thrown around [I]way too easily these days.

You're not in love. You're in like. Promise.

I'm in eleventh grade. You have some pretty good points.

[Angel_Faerie]

"Love" or "Infatuation"...let's face it, they are undergoing some strong feelings. Calling it an infatuation doesn't make it feel any less powerful or make it any less difficult to deal with. The key is to understand it, not take it at it's face value as an "emotion".

QFT. This whole situation is really difficult. Giving up on him is killing me inside,but I know it's the right thing to do.

[Erzengel]

It might not mean much now but in a few years you will laugh at how "into him" you were.

[Superman79]

I'm in eleventh grade. You have some pretty good points.

Bravo for being mature enough to understand this and listen to those who have been there. :up:


It might not mean much now but in a few years you will laugh at how "into him" you were.

QFT. :o

[Mr. Credible]

okay, so i've been with the same woman since may of last year... our relationship started off crappy, then got pretty good, and now is probably the best relationship i've ever been in.

but, i'm 24, and she's 44. she looks ridiculously young for her age, and acts like she's half her age, i also act (according to her) like an old man, so it kind of evens out.

we both got into this thinking it was probably just a fling, and we were just having fun, but, we had too much fun, and now we're in an actual relationship. we both know it can't go the distance due to our age, but we are seriously head over heals in love, and i don't think either one of us knows how to end this.

i don't know what the actual question was, but general opinions on the situation are welcome.

[Superman79]

okay, so i've been with the same woman since may of last year... our relationship started off crappy, then got pretty good, and now is probably the best relationship i've ever been in.

but, i'm 24, and she's 44. she looks ridiculously young for her age, and acts like she's half her age, i also act (according to her) like an old man, so it kind of evens out.

we both got into this thinking it was probably just a fling, and we were just having fun, but, we had too much fun, and now we're in an actual relationship. we both know it can't go the distance due to our age, but we are seriously head over heals in love, and i don't think either one of us knows how to end this.

i don't know what the actual question was, but general opinions on the situation are welcome.

Frankly, theres nothing to say. If you're happy, be happy and enjoy the relationship for as long as it is good for both of you, whether it lasts another 5 weeks or another 5 years or whatnot. Just enjoy the fact you have something many people spend forever looking for, so just embrace it and enjoy the ride :up:

[Ghostvirus]

okay, so i've been with the same woman since may of last year... our relationship started off crappy, then got pretty good, and now is probably the best relationship i've ever been in.

but, i'm 24, and she's 44. she looks ridiculously young for her age, and acts like she's half her age, i also act (according to her) like an old man, so it kind of evens out.

we both got into this thinking it was probably just a fling, and we were just having fun, but, we had too much fun, and now we're in an actual relationship. we both know it can't go the distance due to our age, but we are seriously head over heals in love, and i don't think either one of us knows how to end this.

i don't know what the actual question was, but general opinions on the situation are welcome.

If you are happy together. Why can't it last?

Edit: Aside from Mortal issues. Like Death.:o

[Angel_Faerie]

I cried for about an hour and then called my best friend. She told me to not give up hope. To take some initiative and talk to him more. To invite him and a group of his friends to Lunch. To get to know him better. I sort of like her advice, but I don't know if I want to hope again. I'm afraid it'll end painfully. But then again, trying to forget about him hurts. I don't know if I can take this... Should I listen to my friend? Or continue the way things are going? Personally, I'm not liking the way a life without him feels. It feels like an endless, moonless night. A sunless, cloudy day.

[The Guard]

While it's ok to be upset...

This isn't cancer. It's not something you won't survive. This is a relationship that never was that you want to have been. You're starting to get really, really over dramatic about it.

It sounds like your friend realizes that you really haven't made any "moves" toward this guy. If you're not willing to be assertive about things, then listen to people who have some common sense. Not people who will just tell you what you want to hear.

[Angel_Faerie]

This isn't cancer. It's not something you won't survive. This is a relationship that never was that you want to have been. You are starting to get really, really over dramatic about it.

Listen to people who have some common sense. Not people who will just tell you what you want to hear.

I know I'll survive. And sure I'm being dramatic. I'm in a emotional state right now.

My friend isn't telling me what I want to hear. She gave me her honest opinion. And she does have very good common sense. And you guys do too.

[SpideyVille]

While it's ok to be upset...

This isn't cancer. It's not something you won't survive. This is a relationship that never was that you want to have been. You're starting to get really, really over dramatic about it.

It sounds like your friend realizes that you really haven't made any "moves" toward this guy. If you're not willing to be assertive about things, then listen to people who have some common sense. Not people who will just tell you what you want to hear.

Completely QFT :up:

I know how you're feeling Angel, but like Guard said, it's not something you'll die from. There will be other guys, all you have to do is be patient. I'm not saying to give up, but before you try anything else, just try to remember all of the other instances hat you communicated with this guy. Try to think about how he acted, and if he didn't act like he was interested, that most likely means he's not. And like I said before, even though you might be sitting back and not trying anything, it sounds like you're waiting for something to happen. You shouldn't be doing that. You should just live your life to the fullest and enjoy each day as if it's your last, and let whatever happens happen. After all, there might be some other guy in your class that shows interest in you, but you haven't noticed because you're too focused on someone else.

[Angel_Faerie]

Completely QFT :up:

I know how you're feeling Angel, but like Guard said, it's not something you'll die from. There will be other guys, all you have to do is be patient. I'm not saying to give up, but before you try anything else, just try to remember all of the other instances hat you communicated with this guy. Try to think about how he acted, and if he didn't act like he was interested, that most likely means he's not. And like I said before, even though you might be sitting back and not trying anything, it sounds like you're waiting for something to happen. You shouldn't be doing that. You should just live your life to the fullest and enjoy each day as if it's your last, and let whatever happens happen. After all, there might be some other guy in your class that shows interest in you, but you haven't noticed because you're too focused on someone else.

When we talked, he did seem interested in what I was saying, but trying to pay attenton to the teacher at the same time.

And I think there is a guy in my class that likes me. No matter where I sit in the room, if the seat next to me is free, he sits there next to me.

[Cunning Stunts]

QFT. This whole situation is really difficult. Giving up on him is killing me inside,but I know it's the right thing to do.

Bravo for being mature enough to understand this and listen to those who have been there. :up:

Yes, Angel, you are- very. What I try to do when I get into emotional states is think of it this way (oh, and my apologies for the age mishap:

Realistically, if I don't date this girl, what affect will it have on my life? Will I really never get married? Will I really never have children? Is the single life going to take over my dating world because of this?

If you can honestly say, "No," to each of these, that's your first step to getting over him.

The next is finding someone or something else to occupy your time (not meant sexually, although that would be a good alternative when you're older:o). Besides, high school dating really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Trust me, Colter's probably got just as many (if not more) hormones flowing through his system than you do (save for that one week each month), he's going to be a complete and utter idiot 80% of the time anyway.

Date college boys. We're cooler:word:.

[omid17]

Guys i have a problem( well not really), but i really like this girl, she used to be my neighbor about 10 years ago, sadly i moved away. Now i really want to start talking to her again, but i don't know how, i mean im not scarred to go up to a girl, but i just don't know how to approch her after all this time, can anyone please give me a few tips?

[Cunning Stunts]

Guys i have a problem( well not really), but i really like this girl, she used to be my neighbor about 10 years ago, sadly i moved away. Now i really want to start talking to her again, but i don't know how, i mean im not scarred to go up to a girl, but i just don't know how to approch her after all this time, can anyone please give me a few tips?

"Hey, it's been a while. We should talk some time and catch up."

[omid17]

"Hey, it's been a while. We should talk some time and catch up."i did think of that, but i feel like im still giving her signs that i like her you know, she aint young anymore, she's 20 now and im 19, and i really want this to work

[Cunning Stunts]

i did think of that, but i feel like im still giving her signs that i like her you know, she aint young anymore, she's 20 now and im 19, and i really want this to work

And? You're not young either, if you compare yourself to her. She's got a single year on you.

Giving her signs you like her is the way to go... If you actually like her.

Common sense, dude.

[omid17]

And? You're not young either, if you compare yourself to her. She's got a single year on you.

Giving her signs you like her is the way to go... If you actually like her.

Common sense, dude.i know dude, i just don't want scare her off, and plus don't you need to know the person before you show signs that you like them?im sure she remembers me, but im still a stranger to her

[SpideyVille]

Guys i have a problem( well not really), but i really like this girl, she used to be my neighbor about 10 years ago, sadly i moved away. Now i really want to start talking to her again, but i don't know how, i mean im not scarred to go up to a girl, but i just don't know how to approch her after all this time, can anyone please give me a few tips?

First off, how close were you two? Was it like you hung out a lot, or were you JUST the boy the next that she never knew?

Second, why the sudden interest? I mean, it sounds like you haven't talked since 10 years ago. Most people just forget about each other after that long of a time. And, how sure are you that's she still the same girl you liked when you were younger? She could be someone completely different than you're thinking of.

[Cunning Stunts]

i know dude, i just don't want scare her off, and plus don't you need to know the person before you show signs that you like them?im sure she remembers me, but im still a stranger to her

Expressing interest is one thing. If you don't know the girl and you already have a huge crush on her, you need to re-think yourself.

If you admit you don't know her, why do you like her in the first place?

Or is it that you just think she's attractive, would like to get to know her more, and possibly date?

That's not a bad thing at all, but make sure you know exactly what it is you're dealing with before you deal with it.

[omid17]

First off, how close were you two? Was it like you hung out a lot, or were you JUST the boy the next that she never knew?

Second, why the sudden interest? I mean, it sounds like you haven't talked since 10 years ago. Most people just forget about each other after that long of a time. And, how sure are you that's she still the same girl you liked when you were younger? She could be someone completely different than you're thinking of.we hung out a lot. well not to brag or anything, but im tired of these girls i get with, i really want a real relationship. i saw her myspace for the first time a while ago, she really looks gorgeous, she's single, and she's one of those good christian girls. I don't expect her to be the same because the last time i saw her she was only 11 now she's 20 but i still want to give it a try, even if i fail , at least i know i tried

[SpideyVille]

we hung out a lot. well not to brag or anything, but im tired of these girls i get with, i really want a real relationship. i saw her myspace for the first time a while ago, she really looks gorgeous, she's single, and she's one of those good christian girls. I don't expect her to be the same because the last time i saw her she was only 11 now she's 20 but i still want to give it a try, even if i fail , at least i know i tried

Even though I hate trying to hook up through myspace, did you friend her? Because that will at least giver her the reminder that you're still around and you can say you found her through an old friend. Then after this, you could possibly try to get together to "talk about old times". Then you can use this meeting to get to know her better and see if she's the girl you're looking for.

[Lighthouse]

I know I'll survive. And sure I'm being dramatic. I'm in a emotional state right now.

My friend isn't telling me what I want to hear. She gave me her honest opinion. And she does have very good common sense. And you guys do too.

All you can do is let time pass and you'll get over it eventually. My experiences from 17 to 19 were some of the worst periods of my life. I was going through kidney failure, dialysis, and still get through school. I thought I was in love with a girl I knew at school, but because of my illness not only did I feel ugly but I had the social skills of hermit. As school went by and people went to dances, proms, and had boyfriends and girlfriends, I was incredibly sad and depressed. I'm 26 now, and feel embarrassed when I think about how I acted and felt in high school. I wasn't really in love with the girl, I just thought I was. I think about the tremendous amount I've grown as a person since that age and realize back then I was just sweating the small stuff.

High school is hell, because for 4 years people think that is their whole world, and once you hit college and venture out into the real world, it's going to put a lot of whats happens now in perspective. Just hang in there.

[omid17]

i don't have a myspace, but should create one?

[Lighthouse]

I personally like Facebook better.

[Cunning Stunts]

i don't have a myspace, but should create one?

NO! IT IS THE EATER OF SOULS!!!#*&@#$(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:liz:

[X-Chick]

So, what do you do when you're married and you're joking/talking about ****ing your friend/coworker who is getting married in a month? :huh:

[omid17]

NO! IT IS THE EATER OF SOULS!!!#*&@#$(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:liz::meanie:

[SpideyVille]

i don't have a myspace, but should create one?

Well I guess you could, but then you'd have to go through the trouble of finding a common friend and using that as a reason for stumbling across her page. But even then, it would be pretty much the same as calling her. And doing things in person is really the better way to try and forward a relationship, or create one.

I personally like Facebook better.

Same here.

NO! IT IS THE EATER OF SOULS!!!#*&@#$(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:liz:

:lmao:

[omid17]

Well I guess you could, but then you'd have to go through the trouble of finding a common friend and using that as a reason for stumbling across her page. But even then, it would be pretty much the same as calling her. And doing things in person is really the better way to try and forward a relationship, or create one.



Same here.



:lmao:i totally agree, im man enough to do it myself, **** myspace

[Cunning Stunts]

So, what do you do when you're married and you're joking/talking about ****ing your friend/coworker who is getting married in a month? :huh:

Unless you actually **** him, then it was simply as you put: a joke.

Unless you meant it. Then it wasn't just a joke.

Unless you don't tell anyone it was a joke. Then it can stay a joke.

Wow. Three "unlesses." I r00l.

[Lighthouse]

I've visited myspace before and the place looks like a nightmare. Waaaaay too much crap on those pages. Facebook is a lot simpler. Its not really a way to meet people, but its an easy was to keep in contact with friends, especially if you have an event you want to invite people to.

[SpideyVille]

i totally agree, im man enough to do it myself, **** myspace
Addaboy, I like you already :up:

And believe me, myspace is not a good place to try and hook up. In fact, neither is any other online dating service. People usually don't act like themselves there, so it's best to find out about a person by getting to know them in person.

But good luck, I hope all works well for you :yay: :up:

[omid17]

I've visited myspace before and the place looks like a nightmare. Waaaaay too much crap on those pages. Facebook is a lot simpler. Its not really a way to meet people, but its an easy was to keep in contact with friends, especially if you have an event you want to invite people to.

:up:

[omid17]

Addaboy, I like you already :up:

And believe me, myspace is not a good place to try and hook up. In fact, neither is any other online dating service. People usually don't act like themselves there, so it's best to find out about a person by getting to know them in person.

But good luck, I hope all works well for you :yay: :up:thanks for helping out dude :up:

[Cunning Stunts]

Addaboy, I like you already :up:

And believe me, myspace is not a good place to try and hook up. In fact, neither is any other online dating service. People usually don't act like themselves there, so it's best to find out about a person by getting to know them in person.

But good luck, I hope all works well for you :yay: :up:

Now you get a QFT:up:.

I knew a girl who put on her MySpace that, "Underestimating me would be a fatal mistake on your part."

She killed herself last summer:(.

She was on the cheer team with me too. It was sad.

But her MySpace was retarded.

[SpideyVille]

thanks for helping out dude :up:

No problem :yay:

Now you get a QFT:up:.

I knew a girl who put on her MySpace that, "Underestimating me would be a fatal mistake on your part."

She killed herself last summer:(.

She was on the cheer team with me too. It was sad.

But her MySpace was retarded.

Wow, that's so sad. :csad:

But i know some people who just take that stuff so seriously, and sadly i used to be one of them. I knew this one girl who I used to talk to there, and it always seemed like she liked me and wanted to hook up, but when I finally asked her out, i found out that she never meant any of that stuff.
The same thing is kinda happening to me now on facebook with some other girl, but now I know better. The only way to judge a person's intentions is in person. There's so much you can tell from their facial expression and tone that you can't do online. That's why if you talk online, make sure you're talking even more in person, or else it's not really what you think it may be.

[Cunning Stunts]

No problem :yay:



Wow, that's so sad. :csad:

But i know some people who just take that stuff so seriously, and sadly i used to be one of them. I knew this one girl who I used to talk to there, and it always seemed like she liked me and wanted to hook up, but when I finally asked her out, i found out that she never meant any of that stuff.
The same thing is kinda happening to me now on facebook with some other girl, but now I know better. The only way to judge a person's intentions is in person. There's so much you can tell from their facial expression and tone that you can't do online. That's why if you talk online, make sure you're talking even more in person, or else it's not really what you think it may be.

It's almost like people use MySpace to :brucebat:. It's really pretty sad.

I use it for my stalking pleasures:yay:.

[SpideyVille]

It's almost like people use MySpace to :brucebat:. It's really pretty sad.

I use it for my stalking pleasures:yay:.

lol, but really that's the best way to describe it. It's all about pretending to be someone else. I stopped using that and facebook after I finished high school, but now if i use it, it's to find out how some people are doing and keep in contact with old friends.

[Cunning Stunts]

lol, but really that's the best way to describe it. It's all about pretending to be someone else. I stopped using that and facebook after I finished high school, but now if i use it, it's to find out how some people are doing and keep in contact with old friends.

:up:Only way to go, man. Only way to go...

[fangrl06]

I have someone in my life that I have wanted a relationship with for awhile. He's a really good friend of mine and he admitted to having feelings for me but he was so in love and so hurt by his ex that he's been really distant whenever we start to move in that direction. I started talking to this other guy that I'm really starting to like and he got really jealous and started talking about a relationship again with me. Well, me being the gullible dummy I am, I stopped talking to the other guy in hopes that things would change. Now he's sweet one day and cold and distant the next. He's really scared of getting back into a relationship and I really don't know what to do.

[Superman79]

I have someone in my life that I have wanted a relationship with for awhile. He's a really good friend of mine and he admitted to having feelings for me but he was so in love and so hurt by his ex that he's been really distant whenever we start to move in that direction. I started talking to this other guy that I'm really starting to like and he got really jealous and started talking about a relationship again with me. Well, me being the gullible dummy I am, I stopped talking to the other guy in hopes that things would change. Now he's sweet one day and cold and distant the next. He's really scared of getting back into a relationship and I really don't know what to do.

First off...good to see you back fangrl!

Second. The best thing you can do is move on and try to re-start with the guy you cut off. Clearly your friend has got issues and needs to 'crap or get off the pot'. He can't expect you to put your life on hold because he "might" want a relationship but can't get past his own freakin hangups.

Best bet, try with the other guy again if you can (if not...find a new guy) and if your friend wigs out again tell him that your not a yo-yo and can't be pulled back and forth like this and he either needs to cut the BS and fly right in how he treats you, or he needs to get off your back and let you live your life.

Tough love is sometimes what it takes to set people straight.

[XSpidercideX]

I just want some body to love, I just want somebody to need....

Yeah, I'm 23, no girlfriend. Two years ago I was in love.

Became her friend while she had a boyfriend, got attached, started aching to be with her, but no chance because of the boyfriend.

She breaks up with boyfriend... six months later contacts me! (*lights shine from heaven, angels sing)

We go out on one date, it goes well. Im very excited.... BUT... ex boyfriend shows up at her house and asked her to marry him...she got all emotional and decided to get back with him. Left me cold, didnt return calls. I was depressed for months. It changed me.

Anyway, I'm a good looking guy, BUT I can't get involved with someone without being infatuated AT LEAST with them. Thats my problem, because that happens so rarely. I've had 4 significant crushes throughout my life. 2 I got pretty close to getting involved. The most significant was mentioned above. Other than that, I've actually had to push girls away who like me but I just didn't have the same feelings...a cruel joke perhaps, I fall in love, girls fall in love with me, but its never mutual...

Now I work in a small town, awesome job, make good money. NO girls though. It sucks. I'm pretty much in a limbo outside of the dating realm. All I want is to marry that one special girl you know? But, I have no contacts right now, don't know if I will ever find her.

Well, I know that I'm going to go looking for her as soon as I can. A few years from now the company will be finished, or I will be rich, that is when I can devote my life to finding her. If the compnay somehow goes on without failing or becoming huge and I am stuck, then I will start spending my weekends looking, but it will be much easier if the company sells...

Anyway, I've got time, but I would like to be married before Im 30. We'll see...

[Cunning Stunts]

*Edit, just to make quoting easier*

From XSpidercideX:

I just want some body to love, I just want somebody to need....

There's your problem right there. You're desperate. Stop that! Women HATE that.

Yeah, I'm 23, no girlfriend. Two years ago I was in love.

Became her friend while she had a boyfriend, got attached, started aching to be with her, but no chance because of the boyfriend.

She breaks up with boyfriend... six months later contacts me! (*lights shine from heaven, angels sing)

See that right there? That's creepy.

We go out on one date, it goes well. Im very excited.... BUT... ex boyfriend shows up at her house and asked her to marry him...she got all emotional and decided to get back with him. Left me cold, didnt return calls. I was depressed for months. It changed me.

Anyway, I'm a good looking guy,

Who cares? Women- believe it or not- really aren't that into looks. I'm not the most attractive guy, but personality got me where I am. Women like humor, personality, and talent/work-ethic. I know a guy that's 300+ lbs. that has a couple casual girlfriends, when my younger better-looking best friend just got laid for the first time in two years.

BUT I can't get involved with someone without being infatuated AT LEAST with them. Thats my problem, because that happens so rarely. I've had 4 significant crushes throughout my life. 2 I got pretty close to getting involved. The most significant was mentioned above. Other than that, I've actually had to push girls away who like me but I just didn't have the same feelings...a cruel joke perhaps, I fall in love, girls fall in love with me, but its never mutual...

I know that feeling, to an extent. You just have to let loose, have fun, stop being so stingy. Sure, it sounds like you're lowering your standards- but you're not. You're broadening your horizon.

Now I work in a small town, awesome job, make good money. NO girls though.

Damn, there it is. Time to turn gay.

It sucks. I'm pretty much in a limbo outside of the dating realm. All I want is to marry that one special girl you know? But, I have no contacts right now, don't know if I will ever find her.

No, I don't know. Quit worrying about marrying. You need to date someone AT LEAST 3-5 good years, if not longer, before marrying someone. All this B.S. talk about getting married before you're with someone, 6th months into a relationship, etc. is utterly retarded. That's raising the divorce rate, and dropping the U.S.'s I.Q.

Well, I know that I'm going to go looking for her as soon as I can. A few years from now the company will be finished, or I will be rich, that is when I can devote my life to finding her. If the compnay somehow goes on without failing or becoming huge and I am stuck, then I will start spending my weekends looking, but it will be much easier if the company sells...

Anyway, I've got time, but I would like to be married before Im 30. We'll see...

Dude, this whole last section is just... Disgusting. You don't have to do anything when it comes to finding women. Worry about your company, let the women come to you. And don't bank on getting rich at all, just take your goals one step at a time. If you take a small company and try to get rich with it immediately... Well, you fail.

Don't put a deadline for marriage, because that just futher pushes your desperation. You know who like desperate men? Desperate women- and they are NO fun to be around.

Take it easy, and don't buy into the fantastical fairy tales of love. Sit back, relax, and let things come as they will.

[omid17]

[/color]

Take it easy, and don't buy into the fantastical fairy tales of love. Sit back, relax, and let things come as they will.:up:

[SpideyVille]

[/color]

Take it easy, and don't buy into the fantastical fairy tales of love. Sit back, relax, and let things come as they will.

You are 100% completely right there :up:

And XSpidercideX, unless you're gonna win some inheritance by being married before you're 30, there really isn't any reason to rush it, especially something as serious as marriage. Just live your life and have fun, and DON'T devote a specific time to start looking for the perfect girl because you're never going to find her that way. It's like when you're looking for something that you lost or are trying to find, you go crazy over the search, but when you stop looking, you find it so much quicker. Just don't say you're gonna look for a girl at so ans so time, because when that time comes, you're might find a girl, but you'll be so bent on making it work that you're not going to make the smartest moves or wisest decisions. In fact, you might do some stupid things that will end up driving the girl away, all because you're trying to fulfill a certain deadline.

Just live life and let whatever happens happen. You sound like you have most things together which is good, but your mindset is what is going to be your downfall. Just get rid of all these expectations and you should be alright.

[bullets]

Now I work in a small town, awesome job, make good money. NO girls though. It sucks. I'm pretty much in a limbo outside of the dating realm. All I want is to marry that one special girl you know? But, I have no contacts right now, don't know if I will ever find her.

Well, I know that I'm going to go looking for her as soon as I can. A few years from now the company will be finished, or I will be rich, that is when I can devote my life to finding her. If the compnay somehow goes on without failing or becoming huge and I am stuck, then I will start spending my weekends looking, but it will be much easier if the company sells...

Anyway, I've got time, but I would like to be married before Im 30. We'll see...


The problem is that you are expecting an angel to fall from heaven and the stars to align at the right angle. It's not a realistic approach , it's more of a fantasy. I grew up thinking that there was going to be one girl for me and she would be perfect. It's actually all about making it work .
You also can't walk into a relationship ready for marriage and expect that to dissolve all your problems . You'll find someone but do it without pressuring yourself..

[XSpidercideX]

Hello people, thanks for the replys.

The whole "I just want somebody to love" thing was a song...I was just thinking of the tune...lol. I wasn't saything that.

Also, I'm not that desperate as I made the post out to be either, and I don't ever push things. The whole, I will go find her and I want to be married before thirty thing is not really a search for a girl as opposed to a shift of becoming a social person again.

Seriously, I have no life and never go out anymore. All I would do by "searching for her" would be to go out in the town and start being social and meeting people with no real expectation other than meeting poeple.

I made that post so dramatic now that I re-read it. Ha.

Nevertheless, I have had this whole, just live life and see what happens attitude thus far and it has got me no where. I have past up many oppertunities to go out, have fun, and meet people in the past. Its just that I've been shy in the past and prefered to stay home over going out.

Going out and finding her...what I really mean is going out and meeting people. I'm not going to set a designated time, I'm just going to be sure to live life to the fullest and not sit around the house wondering if I'll ever find anyone.

Also, by the one special girl thing...I don't mean that I think there is one perfect girl. I mean that its the girl who you would want be with over all the other girls you know.

You know, the one your with is the one you WANT to be with. Thats all I mean.

[Cunning Stunts]

Hello people, thanks for the replys.

The whole "I just want somebody to love" thing was a song...I was just thinking of the tune...lol. I wasn't saything that.

Also, I'm not that desperate as I made the post out to be either, and I don't ever push things. The whole, I will go find her and I want to be married before thirty thing is not really a search for a girl as opposed to a shift of becoming a social person again.

Seriously, I have no life and never go out anymore. All I would do by "searching for her" would be to go out in the town and start being social and meeting people with no real expectation other than meeting poeple.

I made that post so dramatic now that I re-read it. Ha.

Nevertheless, I have had this whole, just live life and see what happens attitude thus far and it has got me no where. I have past up many oppertunities to go out, have fun, and meet people in the past. Its just that I've been shy in the past and prefered to stay home over going out.

Going out and finding her...what I really mean is going out and meeting people. I'm not going to set a designated time, I'm just going to be sure to live life to the fullest and not sit around the house wondering if I'll ever find anyone.

Also, by the one special girl thing...I don't mean that I think there is one perfect girl. I mean that its the girl who you would want be with over all the other girls you know.

You know, the one your with is the one you WANT to be with. Thats all I mean.

I like the red font, so I'm using it from now on, damnit:oldrazz:.

Anyways, something tells me that you want a girlfriend for the sake of having one, not a good, long-lasting relationship.

Take it one day at a time. If you come across a girl you really want to be with, work on it. If you don't come across anyone soon, just wait until one crosses your path. The way you're headed, you sound a lot like you're just going to find someone who is pretty attractive, force yourself into liking her because she's got pretty eyes, and trick yourself into thinking you're completely happy with her.

Even when you find that "special someone," there will always be other people that catch your eyes. There will always be temptation, so don't bank on the fact that you'll find one person and never feel little attractions.

Also, you're going to find little annoyances in the girl (or guy, if you happen to swing that way at some point in life... or if you're a girl) you're with. The day you marry the girl you have never had the slightest problem with at one point or another, show her to me, and I will show you your robot of a wife.

Just as I said before- I'm going to say it again:

Sit back, relax, and let time take over. You're pushing and worrying too hard.

[XSpidercideX]

I like the red font, so I'm using it from now on, damnit:oldrazz:.

Anyways, something tells me that you want a girlfriend for the sake of having one, not a good, long-lasting relationship.



Just wanted to say that this couldn't be further from the truth. If I wanted a girlfriend for the sake of having one I could go out and get one easily. I could have done so for the past 5 years. Throughout college I could have dated about 3-4 girls at any given time for the sake of having a girlfriend...but it wouldn't have been real, and it wouldn't have developed into a long lasting relationship.

The only reason I would go out with someone is that I could see it turning into a long lasting relationship. Thats why I've been hard to date as I am always choosing based on "someone I could spend spend the rest of my life with".

Yes, this is a flaw, I should take it easy and not worry about that. Its hard though as I have a tendency to the look at the long term as opposed to the short term as far as relationships go.

[AndThePickles]

It sounds like you really do just need to put yourself out there, Spidercide. And I don't think it's a flaw to date based on wanting something long-term. Just don't go into it trying to force it to be long-term, even when things start to go wrong.

I think it's great that you have a tendency to look at the long term...you're at a more mature stage in your life, so it's understandable. :up: Just understand that it will most likely take some casual dating, first. You don't want to sell yourself short by forcing anything.

[Cunning Stunts]

Just wanted to say that this couldn't be further from the truth. If I wanted a girlfriend for the sake of having one I could go out and get one easily. I could have done so for the past 5 years. Throughout college I could have dated about 3-4 girls at any given time for the sake of having a girlfriend...but it wouldn't have been real, and it wouldn't have developed into a long lasting relationship.

The only reason I would go out with someone is that I could see it turning into a long lasting relationship. Thats why I've been hard to date as I am always choosing based on "someone I could spend spend the rest of my life with".

Yes, this is a flaw, I should take it easy and not worry about that. Its hard though as I have a tendency to the look at the long term as opposed to the short term as far as relationships go.

I still stand by what I say, in addition to this: your arrogance about yourself with women will also be the death of your relationships.

I'd work on that.

[amazingfantasy15]

Guys i have a problem( well not really), but i really like this girl, she used to be my neighbor about 10 years ago, sadly i moved away. Now i really want to start talking to her again, but i don't know how, i mean im not scarred to go up to a girl, but i just don't know how to approch her after all this time, can anyone please give me a few tips?

i don't have a myspace, but should create one?

i totally agree, im man enough to do it myself, **** myspace

Wait, have you actually talked to your old next door neighbor yet or were you just curious and tried looking her up on MySpace? Have you talked to her at all since you moved? If you haven't had contact with her yet, maybe you should create a MySpace account and contact her at first through that. Say something like you were just trying to reconnect with some old friends and seeing if they had MySpace accounts, be honest and say you just signed up, then maybe tell a little lie and say an old friend contact you from MySpace and that gave you the idea to look old friends up. I don't understand how you'd be man enough to contact her yourself if all you know about her is she's on MySpace, how would you get a number to call her? I doubt anybody posts their numbers on that. You're gonna need something like MySpace for that initial contact, it might seem much less creepy.

[Superman79]

So, no advice here, just a thought for the guys who have been through the s**t, the good and the bad. Do you ever find yourself missing an old flame randomly out of nowhere?

I had an odd dream last night involving a girl I was casually dating months ago. I thought I was really starting to like her, and well it went 'ka-blam!'. Needless to say we haven't talked much since then, but then after that dream last night, I've thought about her all day, and, I dunno, regretted it went south? missed her? wondered what it would have been like had it worked?

I have no doubt I'll be fine tomorrow, but it just struck me as weird that this girl I hadn't thought about in a long time, just kind of pops up and sticks in my head for a bit. Its a really odd function of the subconscious...

Not really a big deal, no advice needed, I guess I've just wondered if that happens to anyone else on occasion.

[Angel_Faerie]

I don't know if what I'm doing is right. It's never felt like what I should do. It feels like I'm cutting off part of myself and leaving it to die. And it's not only my waking world that's being affected by this. Apparently a couple nights ago I was calling out for Colter and saying how much I care for him in my sleep. And last night I dreamt that he and I were sitting together on a couch in a black room holding hands when tall people in big glasses ran in, ripped us apart and dragged him away. I kept screaming for them to stop, but they would't listen. He was afraid and trying to get back to me, but they wouldn't let him go. I woke up shortly after that because my mom was shouting at someone over the phone and it startled me awake. I just don't know what to think anymore....

[Erzengel]

Sweetheart, you like him which is the cause of your dreams but it's not being reciprocated. While your feelings are "strong", you still seem to be holding out that he likes you. You would have seen something already.

[Superman79]

Erz is right. It is easier said than done to "just move on", but you've got to, for your own good. Because if you think you feel this bad now, which you no doubt do, it will feel worse for you to keep hanging on to him with high hopes only to have those hopes crushed by the sad reality. You've gotta be strong and move along with your life, and as they say "this too shall pass"

Give it time, I promise it'll get better.

[amazingfantasy15]

I don't know if what I'm doing is right. It's never felt like what I should do. It feels like I'm cutting off part of myself and leaving it to die. And it's not only my waking world that's being affected by this. Apparently a couple nights ago I was calling out for Colter and saying how much I care for him in my sleep. And last night I dreamt that he and I were sitting together on a couch in a black room holding hands when tall people in big glasses ran in, ripped us apart and dragged him away. I kept screaming for them to stop, but they would't listen. He was afraid and trying to get back to me, but they wouldn't let him go. I woke up shortly after that because my mom was shouting at someone over the phone and it startled me awake. I just don't know what to think anymore....

If you haven't been pursuing him in your waking hours you're doing the right thing. As for the dreams, you like him, only natural that he'd pop into your dreams occasionally. I really think you need to do something to get your mind off things, join a club, go out and exercise, do something, best way to get over it and get him out of your head is to fill your head with other stuff. Trust me, it works, plus getting involved in a new activity you might meet someone new and even better you'll already have something in common.

By the way, where's Jessica Drew, I want to know if she's hooking up with her friend or not.

[Superman79]

By the way, where's Jessica Drew, I want to know if she's hooking up with her friend or not.

Easy there horn-dog!

Aw...who'm I kidding, we all wanna know :oldrazz:

[amazingfantasy15]

Easy there horn-dog!

Aw...who'm I kidding, we all wanna know :oldrazz:

Hey, I spent a day giving her advice, I just wanna know what the result is, everyone else has come back and told us the results...well except for GR87.

[Superman79]

Hey, I spent a day giving her advice, I just wanna know what the result is, everyone else has come back and told us the results...well except for GR87.

I know, i'm just busting your ballz.

[Angel_Faerie]

If you haven't been pursuing him in your waking hours you're doing the right thing. As for the dreams, you like him, only natural that he'd pop into your dreams occasionally. I really think you need to do something to get your mind off things, join a club, go out and exercise, do something, best way to get over it and get him out of your head is to fill your head with other stuff. Trust me, it works, plus getting involved in a new activity you might meet someone new and even better you'll already have something in common.


You'd be correct in guessing that I haven't been persuing him. It's just really difficult. It's helping a little bit that it's Spring Break, so my resolve can't be broken by seeing him for now. Next week is another story...

I'm already a member of a club at school, but we don't really do anything. The only thing we've done as a group is get our club photo taken for the yearbook. I can't sign up for any new ones because signing up for clubs takes place before school starts. So, I'm stuck as far as school clubs goes. As for other things, my mom and I have been considering getting gym meberships. I doubt there'll be any good guys there, though. Hot guys, sure, but none with decent personalities. I try to walk around my neighborhood regularly, and there are next to no guys my age there. Acually, I've only seen a few people my age in general. Little kids, old people, and young couples with babies is all I've seen.

[Captain Planet!]

Little kids, old people, and young couples with babies is all I've seen.
Same here. I'm friends with The few kids my age that live around here. We kind of a gang... of suckiness. It's really boring here and there are no girls. At. All.

[Angel_Faerie]

Erz is right. It is easier said than done to "just move on", but you've got to, for your own good. Because if you think you feel this bad now, which you no doubt do, it will feel worse for you to keep hanging on to him with high hopes only to have those hopes crushed by the sad reality. You've gotta be strong and move along with your life, and as they say "this too shall pass"

Give it time, I promise it'll get better.

I know it'll pass eventually, but that doesn't help me in the present. I'm trying to be strong, but I don't know if I'm doing a good job. I've been bawling every day. Everything makes me think of him at least a little. Even simple things like commercials. I've been a bump on a log for the past week, not doing much but laying on the couch, clutching a pillow and looking pitiful.

[SpideyVille]

I know it'll pass eventually, but that doesn't help me in the present. I'm trying to be strong, but I don't know if I'm doing a good job. I've been bawling every day. Everything makes me think of him at least a little. Even simple things like commercials. I've been a bump on a log for the past week, not doing much but laying on the couch, clutching a pillow and looking pitiful.

The pain you go through now makes you so much stronger for the next time. It may feel bad now, but it'll be worth it later on after you learn how to deal with it through experiences like this one.

[amazingfantasy15]

I know it'll pass eventually, but that doesn't help me in the present. I'm trying to be strong, but I don't know if I'm doing a good job. I've been bawling every day. Everything makes me think of him at least a little. Even simple things like commercials. I've been a bump on a log for the past week, not doing much but laying on the couch, clutching a pillow and looking pitiful.

That's part of the problem, you're just sitting around the house with nothing to do but dwell on him. I don't know where you live, but if it's nice out get outside, ride a bike, hang out with friends, do anything except sitting around dwelling on him. The more you occupy your mind the easier it is. Try running or jogging, it's worked for me in the past, you get to a point where your mind goes blank and after the first few runs the pain in your legs will most likely overwhelm your pain over this guy.

[Darthphere]

So is it messed up if I try to hookup with a pregnant chick even though I've liked her since before she was knocked up?

[Angel_Faerie]

That's part of the problem, you're just sitting around the house with nothing to do but dwell on him. I don't know where you live, but if it's nice out get outside, ride a bike, hang out with friends, do anything except sitting around dwelling on him. The more you occupy your mind the easier it is. Try running or jogging, it's worked for me in the past, you get to a point where your mind goes blank and after the first few runs the pain in your legs will most likely overwhelm your pain over this guy.

That sounds like a good idea. The only trouble is, I have asthma. I can't push myself TOO hard physically, or else risk an attack. I like to go for walks, and I could maybe start riding my bike again, now that it's spring.

[Superman79]

As for other things, my mom and I have been considering getting gym meberships. I doubt there'll be any good guys there, though. Hot guys, sure, but none with decent personalities. I try to walk around my neighborhood regularly, and there are next to no guys my age there. Acually, I've only seen a few people my age in general. Little kids, old people, and young couples with babies is all I've seen.

Ok, couple of things here.

1) Don't go looking for a guy...if you search and search, you're never going to find one...a good relationship will only come along when you are not desperately searching. Keep your eyes open, yes, but don't search.

2) Take up a hobby, maybe a city club sport, mentor an elementary school kid, plant a garden, hell, get a playstation and a fun game and do that...there is plenty to distract you from the pain if you just look.

3) I happen to go to a gym 5 days a week missy, and I have been told many times I am a good guy, and that I have a good personality. :o The same could be said for Spoons, jag, and hush, who all go to gyms and post here. So to say 'bah' to gym guys is to be overly dismissive. Also, AF15 didn't mean go to the gym to pick up guys, he meant go to exercise and feel good about yourself. Plus, you'd be surprised how working up a good sweat can distract you from life's problems...and make you happier (exercise releases dopamine and other happy chemicals in the brain...not to mention the self-esteem boost that comes with working out) Never hurts to try...

[Superman79]

That sounds like a good idea. The only trouble is, I have asthma. I can't push myself TOO hard physically, or else risk an attack. I like to go for walks, and I could maybe start riding my bike again, now that it's spring.

High-rep/low weight weight lifting :o

It gets you toned, burns calories, has little impact on your asthma, and won't make you 'buff' like regular weight lifting. :up:

[amazingfantasy15]

Where's the baby Daddy? Why would you want to hook up with a pregnant chick? I'd say it's not a good idea.

[Cunning Stunts]

So is it messed up if I try to hookup with a pregnant chick even though I've liked her since before she was knocked up?

Only reason I'd say watch out is if she becomes emotionally dependent, and starts trying to get you to play daddy.

That sounds like a good idea. The only trouble is, I have asthma. I can't push myself TOO hard physically, or else risk an attack. I like to go for walks, and I could maybe start riding my bike again, now that it's spring.

I would suggest doing calisthenics, then. Take it slow, at first, then start building it up more and more. These aren't real hard on breathing if you go at a decent pace and don't do overloads.

And listen to Superman79. Sure, a lot of those meatheads will just be obsessed with themselves and/or weight training, but some of us who work out have decent personalities.

At least, that's what we're told.

[amazingfantasy15]

damn, slow computer, double post, but with a post between, weird.

[Angel_Faerie]

Ok, couple of things here.

1) Don't go looking for a guy...if you search and search, you're never going to find one...a good relationship will only come along when you are not desperately searching. Keep your eyes open, yes, but don't search.

2) Take up a hobby, maybe a city club sport, mentor an elementary school kid, plant a garden, hell, get a playstation and a fun game and do that...there is plenty to distract you from the pain if you just look.

3) I happen to go to a gym 5 days a week missy, and I have been told many times I am a good guy, and that I have a good personality. :o The same could be said for Spoons, jag, and hush, who all go to gyms and post here. So to say 'bah' to gym guys is to be overly dismissive. Also, AF15 didn't mean go to the gym to pick up guys, he meant go to exercise and feel good about yourself. Plus, you'd be surprised how working up a good sweat can distract you from life's problems...and make you happier (exercise releases dopamine and other happy chemicals in the brain...not to mention the self-esteem boost that comes with working out) Never hurts to try...

1. I'm afraid to stop searching because if I do, I'm worried I'll end up a 50 year old virgin with 98 cats. And with the way I like cats, it's not out of the realm of possibility.

2. I'm starting to find things to occupy my time, but it still doesn't completely end the pain.

3. I didn't mean offence to the gentlemen on here that go to gyms. I was just merely speaking from experiance. I've taken a peek in a couple of gym windows in town and all of the guys there look like they only have 1 brain cell between them. And I know what AF15 meant, but I was just thinking that the gym is a good a place as any to look.

[Darthphere]

Where's the baby Daddy? Why would you want to hook up with a pregnant chick? I'd say it's not a good idea.

Out of the picture. Because I was into her before, but the baby daddy was in the way, now he ran off like a *****. It's probably not.

Only reason I'd say watch out is if she becomes emotionally dependent, and starts trying to get you to play daddy.

Yes, no kid needs that.:csad:

[amazingfantasy15]

1. I'm afraid to stop searching because if I do, I'm worried I'll end up a 50 year old virgin with 98 cats. And with the way I like cats, it's not out of the realm of possibility.

2. I'm starting to find things to occupy my time, but it still doesn't completely end the pain.

3. I didn't mean offence to the gentlemen on here that go to gyms. I was just merely speaking from experiance. I've taken a peek in a couple of gym windows in town and all of the guys there look like they only have 1 brain cell between them. And I know what AF15 meant, but I was just thinking that the gym is a good a place as any to look.

You're only 17 right? You've got plenty of time to meet someone and your best years are ahead of you. Don't let one guy let you get discouraged.

[Superman79]

1. I'm afraid to stop searching because if I do, I'm worried I'll end up a 50 year old virgin with 98 cats. And with the way I like cats, it's not out of the realm of possibility.

2. I'm starting to find things to occupy my time, but it still doesn't completely end the pain.

3. I didn't mean offence to the gentlemen on here that go to gyms. I was just merely speaking from experiance. I've taken a peek in a couple of gym windows in town and all of the guys there look like they only have 1 brain cell between them. And I know what AF15 meant, but I was just thinking that the gym is a good a place as any to look.

1) I like numbering :D

2) STOP SEARCHING!!! Desperation is very unattractive to potential dates/lovers. As I am fond of saying "Desperation is a stinky, stinky cologne". TRUST US, if you stop searching frantically like you seem to be now, you'll be much better off. By all means keep your eyes open for potential guys, but be patient. Besides you're 17...you have A LOT of time left, and college completely changes everything. I have a cousin who got married just last summer. She was 29. He was 40. Case in point, you have plenty of time.

3) It never will stop the pain...just be strong, like we've said, it will pass.

4) No offense taken, but give the gym a chance, if nothing else for the health benefits, and don't be so quick to eliminate possibilities (keep the eyes open) and who knows what could happen.

[Immortalfire]

Supes79 likes to hang out at gymnasiums...*snort* :woot:

[Angel_Faerie]

1) I like numbering :D

2) STOP SEARCHING!!! Desperation is very unattractive to potential dates/lovers. As I am fond of saying "Desperation is a stinky, stinky cologne". TRUST US, if you stop searching frantically like you seem to be now, you'll be much better off. By all means keep your eyes open for potential guys, but be patient. Besides you're 17...you have A LOT of time left, and college completely changes everything. I have a cousin who got married just last summer. She was 29. He was 40. Case in point, you have plenty of time.

3) It never will stop the pain...just be strong, like we've said, it will pass.

4) No offense taken, but give the gym a chance, if nothing else for the health benefits, and don't be so quick to eliminate possibilities (keep the eyes open) and who knows what could happen.


1. Numbering is pretty fun. It makes things more organized.

2. I know I have plenty of time to worry about that sort of thing, but I can't help it. Some kids at school are engaged already. I'm trying to lower my desperation level, and I think it's working. I'll stop searching, and will just keep my eyes open instead.

3. I'm keeping strong so far. I'm just concerned about next week when he's right there in class with me....I'm worried my resolve will melt into a pile of butter when I see those blue eyes.

4. I haven't completley ruled out the gym idea, fro the reasons you've said. It's healthy and keeps ones mind off ones woes.

[amazingfantasy15]

2. I know I have plenty of time to worry about that sort of thing, but I can't help it. Some kids at school are engaged already. I'm trying to lower my desperation level, and I think it's working. I'll stop searching, and will just keep my eyes open instead.

Don't look up to those people! There's plenty of time for that later in life, be young and have fun. People like that are just asking for a lot of trouble and hard ships in life.

[Harlekin]

Okay, Angel, you are aware that you hardly know this guy, right? That what you're feeling is largely based on physical attraction?

[Angel_Faerie]

Okay, Angel, you are aware that you hardly know this guy, right? That what you're feeling is largely based on physical attraction?

Yes, I know I hardly know him. And yes, I think he's attractive physically. But, I like what I've seen of his personality more than his physical appearance.

[Harlekin]

Personally, and I know this flies in against the other advice, but I'd just go for it. Get your heart broken nice and proper. Lots more effective than wallowing in pity for a few weeks.

[SpideyVille]

2. I know I have plenty of time to worry about that sort of thing, but I can't help it. Some kids at school are engaged already.

Don't look up to those people! There's plenty of time for that later in life, be young and have fun. People like that are just asking for a lot of trouble and hard ships in life.

Yea, these aren't the kind of people you want to be looking up to. Yeah these people might be happy now, but it's not like their life is going to be a fairy tale from now on. It's never good to rush into things just for the sake of what others are doing. You just have to focus on living your life and what makes you happy. And don't try to base your happiness on someone else, especially if you barely know them.

Personally, and I know this flies in against the other advice, but I'd just go for it. Get your heart broken nice and proper. Lots more effective than wallowing in pity for a few weeks.

Honestly, that's how I did things, and those were the situations I learned most from. Even thought the odds were against me, I still went out and did something foolish, and even though the result hurt like hell, it woke me up to see how things really were.

[Superman79]

1. Numbering is pretty fun. It makes things more organized.

2. I know I have plenty of time to worry about that sort of thing, but I can't help it. Some kids at school are engaged already. I'm trying to lower my desperation level, and I think it's working. I'll stop searching, and will just keep my eyes open instead.

3. I'm keeping strong so far. I'm just concerned about next week when he's right there in class with me....I'm worried my resolve will melt into a pile of butter when I see those blue eyes.

4. I haven't completley ruled out the gym idea, fro the reasons you've said. It's healthy and keeps ones mind off ones woes.

1) :D

2) The engaged kids...as the others havae said, and mark my words are in for trouble. I have one friend right now who is 24 and already going through a divorce from marrying her high school sweetheart...make of that what you will. Just live and enjoy your life and you'll be surprised what pops up when you're not looking.

3) I say be strong. He's already more or less indicated hes not interested. BUT if you feel you must, listen to Harly and Spidey and try asking him out (again technically, since you already asked him to the dance). I'm not about to shoot down your chances, but I AM saying that given what you've told us, it just doesn't sound like hes into you or willing to try. Its your call, but if you chose to NOT ask him out, just remember to have faith in something better, and that you don't need another person to make you whole. :up:

[Cunning Stunts]

Yes, no kid needs that.:csad:

Well, at least not from you if you can't even seem to figure out what I was getting it:o.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

i have a bit of an issue, not to steal away from any of the current, but since my friends are all saying about the same thing, which is to either not or give it a try, about half and half, i'll see what a majority says here. my ex's friend has been trying to get with me, he's already told me he'd love to get together, but he is really close to my ex. i asked him what about his friend, and he said he'd tell him soon if we did. i think that's kind of dumb in a way i don't know, but i kind of have a feeling that he won't tell him. honestly i don't really care, but i don't want him to lose a friend of this. i'm also kinda worried because some of my friends think this guy is just like my ex, which is aggressive (not abusive), stubborn, @$$. no i didn't always think my ex was an @$$. one of the main issues is that my ex is a player and he cheated on his gf before me and when we were together we had a long talk about that, and he was good for a few weeks but it seemed like all he wanted to do was get me in bed. sometimes he get mad when when i rejected, (so i never slept w/ him). anyway the issue is that if this guy is like my ex which he may be, doesn't seem like it but you never know, then i don't want anything to do with him. but i guess i won't know unless i try. any thoughts?

i actually have another issue too, unrelated to this but i'll address that later maybe.

[uchiha_itachi]

If your ex is cool with his mate getting with you then its fine. long as he dosent constantly think you still like his mate then its fine..

[Crook]

If all it is, is getting together (read: not a date), then there's nothing wrong with it. You don't need anyone's permission just to hang out or be friends with someone else's ex. You can get to know him through your meet-ups, and you'd have a better judgment on his character. Things can move on further from there if the circumstances permit it.

Oh, and one little comment on this:
but i guess i won't know unless i try. any thoughts?

As a former ex once pointed out: "I haven't tried anal either, but it sure as hell doesn't mean I want anything stuck in my ass for the sake of curiosity"

Not sure if that exactly pertains to anything, but just putting it out there. :o

[Superman79]

i have a bit of an issue, not to steal away from any of the current, but since my friends are all saying about the same thing, which is to either not or give it a try, about half and half, i'll see what a majority says here. my ex's friend has been trying to get with me, he's already told me he'd love to get together, but he is really close to my ex. i asked him what about his friend, and he said he'd tell him soon if we did. i think that's kind of dumb in a way i don't know, but i kind of have a feeling that he won't tell him. honestly i don't really care, but i don't want him to lose a friend of this. i'm also kinda worried because some of my friends think this guy is just like my ex, which is aggressive (not abusive), stubborn, @$$. no i didn't always think my ex was an @$$. one of the main issues is that my ex is a player and he cheated on his gf before me and when we were together we had a long talk about that, and he was good for a few weeks but it seemed like all he wanted to do was get me in bed. sometimes he get mad when when i rejected, (so i never slept w/ him). anyway the issue is that if this guy is like my ex which he may be, doesn't seem like it but you never know, then i don't want anything to do with him. but i guess i won't know unless i try. any thoughts?

i actually have another issue too, unrelated to this but i'll address that later maybe.


If this guy was so close to your ex, he wouldn't ask you out...its an unspoken guy rule...leave the exs out of it (for at least a decade).

Honestly, if this guy is sleazy enough to break that rule of guy-dom, then my assumption (without having met him and from your account) is that yeah, he's no good. Just one guys opinion, but still...

I'm not saying don't try, but if you've been warned and have doubts, it may not be worth the trouble.

[Crook]

If this guy was so close to your ex, he wouldn't ask you out...its an unspoken guy rule...leave the exs out of it (for at least a decade).

That only applies to guys and their guy friend's ex's. :huh:

[Superman79]

That only applies to guys and their guy friend's ex's. :huh:

no...but it seems as though women follow that rule less consistently so I just assumed it was our genders rule...I could be wrong.

[Crook]

Oh, well yeah, girls follow the same rule. But it sounded like you were talking from the guy's perspective, and in this particular situation, it has no harm on the guy's conscience.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

hmm, yea i just got off the phone with one of my girl friends, and i don't think it's worth it. he may just be so "nice" and everything for now just like my ex but turn out to be a jerk. thanks for the replies! :heart:

[Chris B]

Here's a question I have that may seem dumb, but where would be a good place for a guy to meet a girl? Let me elaborate a little bit, I'm an 18-going-on-19 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend. Now I know that school or work would probably be the common answer to my question, but I feel that dating co-workers wouldn't be a good idea. As for school, well I've always been the quiet kid who sits in the back of the class which has continued in college thus far. For me, the two obvious places for someone my age don't seem like they would work.

[Superman79]

Oh, well yeah, girls follow the same rule. But it sounded like you were talking from the guy's perspective, and in this particular situation, it has no harm on the guy's conscience.

I just meant if the guy would break the 'don't date friends ex's' rule, he'd be likely to break other rules...like say, 'don't cheat'

[Superman79]

Here's a question I have that may seem dumb, but where would be a good place for a guy to meet a girl? Let me elaborate a little bit, I'm an 18-going-on-19 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend. Now I know that school or work would probably be the common answer to my question, but I feel that dating co-workers wouldn't be a good idea. As for school, well I've always been the quiet kid who sits in the back of the class which has continued in college thus far. For me, the two obvious places for someone my age don't seem like they would work.

Yeah work can be tough, but school, man college is FULL of opportunites. Frat parties, clubs, choirs, classes, campus socials, sporting events.

Thing is, you have to be proactive. As hard as it may be, you need to really put some effort into talking to people. Classmates, friends, friends of friends...all are ways to expand your social circle. Friends of friends are the best as you already have a rapport with them through commonality and can go from there. That is a great way to meet people.

As far as other forums...take advantage of college. Just suck it up and talk to that cute girl across from you in Lit 101. Smile and wave at the intriguing brunette at lunch...little things. You've just gotta close your eyes and jump man. You will miss 100% of the pitches you don't swing at: meaning if you just quietly go through life and school without expanding your horizons or talking with strangers (especially strangers who are female and cute) you're never gonna find what you're looking for. Relationships very rarely just fall in your lap like the movies...you have to keep your eyes open and make a move when you perceive an opportunity.

I know I just cited a lot of plaitiudes, but its true, you have to force yourself out of your shell and interact more...trust me, it will pay off, and you'll get over the 'quiet' thing.

**Other options besides school (which is by FAR your best option) bookstores, the gym, the grocery store...anywhere you can strike up a conversation

Best of luck friend :up:

[SpideyVille]

Yeah work can be tough, but school, man college is FULL of opportunites. Frat parties, clubs, choirs, classes, campus socials, sporting events.

Thing is, you have to be proactive. As hard as it may be, you need to really put some effort into talking to people. Classmates, friends, friends of friends...all are ways to expand your social circle. Friends of friends are the best as you already have a rapport with them through commonality and can go from there. That is a great way to meet people.

QFT :up:

Here's a question I have that may seem dumb, but where would be a good place for a guy to meet a girl? Let me elaborate a little bit, I'm an 18-going-on-19 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend. Now I know that school or work would probably be the common answer to my question, but I feel that dating co-workers wouldn't be a good idea. As for school, well I've always been the quiet kid who sits in the back of the class which has continued in college thus far. For me, the two obvious places for someone my age don't seem like they would work.

I know how you feel Chris. I'm the same except I turned 19 a few months ago. But like S79 says, you have to take advantage of college because it's really full of opportunities. I mean I just started about a month ago and I didn't really talk to anyone. But one night I went to a school play because I had to, and I ended up meeting with 2 girls from my class. I sat with them for the whole play and talked with them afterwards. Now I'm still talking to one of them, and even though I don't know what my chances are in hooking up with her, I'm still better off than I was before. I'm super shy, but I've really been opening up in college. You say it doesn't seem like they would work but you have to make them work. Of course, you're not supposed to force it, but you can't sit down doing nothing and wait for it to come to you. You have to go out and be active, then when you see an opportunity, you should go for it and hopefully all goes well from there. If not, dust yourself off and try again. Just put some effort into it and I'm sure you'll be fine :up:

[GoldenAgeHero]

I have the same problem as Chris B and the answer is exactlyw hat superman 79 have said. But at this point I don't think I'm ready for relationships. Broke up witha chick i was ceeing last year..other things got in the way and I felt i wasn't putting much into the relationship, she got to the point where she decided not pursue things with me any further.

Probably the best thing that happened to me, too much work trying to keep that relationship going.


So at this point, although i would like to really date again..I don't think I'm up to it. and I have a alot flaws that i don't think girls would find attractive.

[Erzengel]

For some of you who are 18-19, I'm sure you are at jobs that aren't going to be your careers so what do you care if you date someone at your job? I mean if you are only working there for the Summer or during school, what's the problem? It's not like you are 22-23 working at your first real job. That's different.

[amazingfantasy15]

Here's a question I have that may seem dumb, but where would be a good place for a guy to meet a girl? Let me elaborate a little bit, I'm an 18-going-on-19 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend. Now I know that school or work would probably be the common answer to my question, but I feel that dating co-workers wouldn't be a good idea. As for school, well I've always been the quiet kid who sits in the back of the class which has continued in college thus far. For me, the two obvious places for someone my age don't seem like they would work.

Well, from this post, no places are going to work. You've gotta put yourself out there, there's no such thing as the girlfriend store or girlfriend tree and even though the sexes are supposed to be equal, most girls won't approach you, you're gonna have to approach them. Time to break out of your shell, sure you might make an @$$ of yourself, but everyone does at times. The quiet kid who sits in the back of the class will never get anyone wherever he goes because he'll always be the quiet kid wherever he goes. Time to make some noise.

[Chris B]

First off, I would like to thank everyone who has laid down their advice. I agree with what everyone has said so far, that I need to get out of my shell. So perhaps I should join a club of some sort? Part of my problem is that I'm not someone who is very good as initiating and maintaining a conversation, so that is something I have to fix.

But here's another question, if you see someone you like at a store, how do you approach that person without coming off as a bit creepy? I mean at school, I would think being approached by someone would be somewhat expected, but right out of the blue?

[Remy LeBeau X3]

girls like guys with confidence, not over confidence, but enough to the point where when we're approached, we feel that you feel good about yourself. because i mean if you don't feel good about yourself, how would we know what you truly feel about us? if you see a girl at a store that you like, well if she works there then tune up your confidence and try to start easy conversations. if it is some random girl shopping, i'm afraid that is harder. when i'm at the store it's not necessarily the most flattering place to be hit on. but if you wanna go for it, treat the situation as you would at school or work, except choose a light topic to talk about. you also have to be cautious, because at a random place it's hard to anticipate a reaction. whenever i'm shopping i usually get "so what do you think of the weather?" or "you look familiar" lol those are terrible and so bland, i would assume most people wouldn't try that but you'd be surprised. maybe if you describe the store situation in a bit more detail, and i can help more if at all.

[Superman79]

First off, I would like to thank everyone who has laid down their advice. I agree with what everyone has said so far, that I need to get out of my shell. So perhaps I should join a club of some sort? Part of my problem is that I'm not someone who is very good as initiating and maintaining a conversation, so that is something I have to fix.

But here's another question, if you see someone you like at a store, how do you approach that person without coming off as a bit creepy? I mean at school, I would think being approached by someone would be somewhat expected, but right out of the blue?

First...YES you should join a club. There are literally hundreds of groups on college campuses to join. Do it.
As for conversation, it takes time, but learn to talk about general things: the weather, sports, movies, music, the subject of whatever club you're in, the book you had to read for English Lit, professors you might have, etc. There is plenty of stuff to talk about, at the very least remember this: a woman's (and most mens) favorite subject to talk about is THEMSELVES. Ask open ended questions about many of the above subjects and let them elaborate, it will give you more to ask about, or provide a small story of your own, but really, the key to a decent first conversation is to let the other person do most of the talking.

Now for the store thing, its tough, and is a bit of a gamble, but you can always make a comment and let it stem from there, like say if the girl is picking up a box of Twinkies:

Chris: "You know those things will kill you"
Random Girl: "Yeah, but they are so good." or "we all have to go sometime"
Chris: "Good point, but I think the cupcakes are the way to go."
RG: "Really? Why are they so much better?"
and so on and so forth...**This is just one example**

THe key is to be playful and CONFIDENT (fake it if need be) and watch her reaction. If you make your initial comment and she smiles or sounds enthused as opposed to annoyed (believe me you'll know which is which) then keep going, if she doesn't seem cool with it, then (in the twinkie example) just say something like "Fair enough, to each their own" and move on, no harm done.

You just need to try and read the reaction and don't be afraid of what can happen.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

^^ hmm, now that you've said that i can recall so many of "those" conversations that i just thought were random. well you know Chris that is actually a good start to a random conversation. random can be good, but like Superman79 said, anticipate a reaction for what you're going to say/do next. if she doesn't really get into it, then let it be, it's not a big deal. don't be discouraged by rejection either if that is the case. just look at it as "her loss anyway"

[Erzengel]

Chris: "You know those things will kill you"
Random Girl: "Yeah, but they are so good." or "we all have to go sometime"
Chris: "Good point, but I think the cupcakes are the way to go."
RG: "Really? Why are they so much better?"
and so on and so forth...**This is just one example**

Chris: Nice set of hooters you got there!
Random Girl: I beg your pardon?
Chris: The owls! They're beautiful!

[Superman79]

Chris: Nice set of hooters you got there!
Random Girl: I beg your pardon?
Chris: The owls! They're beautiful!


That one has actually worked for me...and the owls WERE magnificent :oldrazz:

[The Joker_1000]

I tried to hook up with this girl with my class. I asked her on Crushspot, she said no, I asked why, she said because she said so, I asked her again, she said stop talking to her, I said whatever, she said okay [insert curse word here], I called her childish and that was that.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

haha classic! he was actually talkin about the owls too!

hmm, no comment to the last post

[Erzengel]

I tried to hook up with this girl with my class. I asked her on Crushspot, she said no, I asked why, she said because she said so, I asked her again, she said stop talking to her, I said whatever, she said okay [insert curse word here], I called her childish and that was that.
Do you have ADD?

[omid17]

I tried to hook up with this girl with my class. I asked her on Crushspot, she said no, I asked why, she said because she said so, I asked her again, she said stop talking to her, I said whatever, she said okay [insert curse word here], I called her childish and that was that.lol

[omid17]

Do you have ADD?lmao

[The Joker_1000]

Do you have ADD?


Do you? :o

[The Joker_1000]

lol


I really don't see what the **** is so funny.

[Chris B]

I think the main factors that would depend on whether or not I would approach a girl in a store would depend on whether or not I seemed to catch her attention. Or say I was at a bookstore and I saw someone interesting looking at a book from a section that I was looking in. Something like that.

[omid17]

I really don't see what the **** is so funny.how you went up to her and said that, what the hell were you going to expect?

[Erzengel]

Do you? :o

I ask because everyone has been telling you not to ask her over myspace and while you didn't do that, you asked her on another website.

It's the same thing, kid.

You don't listen.

[Superman79]

I tried to hook up with this girl with my class. I asked her out in person, she said no, I asked why, she said because she said so, I said "ok, cool" and left her alone

THAT is how it should have went.


As to your actual post...
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j230/BoSoxSuperman/Gifs/jpics1qpn9bsfdydmnq0-1.gif

[Chris B]

Chris: Nice set of hooters you got there!
Random Girl: I beg your pardon?
Chris: The owls! They're beautiful!

LOL :up:

[Superman79]

I think the main factors that would depend on whether or not I would approach a girl in a store would depend on whether or not I seemed to catch her attention. Or say I was at a bookstore and I saw someone interesting looking at a book from a section that I was looking in. Something like that.

well of course. We're not saying just walk up to every random girl in the place and try chatting. If you see a girl that "has potential" then act, if not, then go about your business.

[omid17]

THAT is how it should have went.


As to your actual post...
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j230/BoSoxSuperman/Gifs/jpics1qpn9bsfdydmnq0-1.gif
lol

[Damien Rage]

There is plenty of stuff to talk about, at the very least remember this: a woman's (and most mens) favorite subject to talk about is THEMSELVES. Ask open ended questions about many of the above subjects and let them elaborate, it will give you more to ask about, or provide a small story of your own, but really, the key to a decent first conversation is to let the other person do most of the talking.

True. But beware...it can backfire (for lack of better term). I was on a date once (I see first dates like interviews), you have to make me interested enough for a second date.

I talked with this guy once on the phone (after a few emails (we met thru True.com), he seemed nice. So on the first date I asked about his job (thinking he would talk some then ask me about mine), he talked forever about it and how with his job he got to move around (travel). So I tried the "wow you've been to alot more places then I have" approach (again thinking he would inturn ask something about me, where I have lived...something...anything). No such luck.
Bascially the guy talked about himself all night. It wasn't all ego or anything...just that he hadn't been on a date in ages...and I guess have someone to listen to him???

Sigh...thankfully I am off the market (no more bad dates for me...YAY!)

Relationships are a give and take. Coversations are too. Good to have things in common and stuff not. Does that make sense? Like I am really not religious at all. Recently my other half found a church he would like to get active in. I told him that I was glad he found it that way and that I support him if he decides to. And if it meant me going to things with him every so often that I would.

And fro all you younin's...I know it sucks to hear (becuase you still have feelings) but you're young. Lots of fish in the sea, it takes time to sort out the good from the bad.

[SpideyVille]

Chris: Nice set of hooters you got there!
Random Girl: I beg your pardon?
Chris: The owls! They're beautiful!

:lmao:

THAT is how it should have went.


As to your actual post...
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j230/BoSoxSuperman/Gifs/jpics1qpn9bsfdydmnq0-1.gif

Damn, I totally know how that feels.

I ask because everyone has been telling you not to ask her over myspace and while you didn't do that, you asked her on another website.

It's the same thing, kid.

You don't listen.

Yea, and if you're trying to start a relationship online, are you actually expecting things to be the same in person. I mean if you're gonna do that online,you might as well do everything else online. And I don't think you can actually make out with someone online, unless you smooch the screen (which is a tad bit weird).

[Erzengel]

From a guy's point of view, you err on the side of caution by having the lady talk more. :o

[Superman79]

Exactly, there is plenty of time to share your fun facts after the girl has established you're worth spending time with.

[The Joker_1000]

I ask because everyone has been telling you not to ask her over myspace and while you didn't do that, you asked her on another website.

It's the same thing, kid.

You don't listen.


It doesn't matter, the same thing probably would've happened in real life. After a while you stop caring.

[Chris B]

well of course. We're not saying just walk up to every random girl in the place and try chatting. If you see a girl that "has potential" then act, if not, then go about your business.

That is true.

[Erzengel]

It doesn't matter, the same thing probably would've happened in real life. After a while you stop caring.
So you don't listen to advice.

Then stop asking for it.

[The Joker_1000]

I do listen but if you insist, I'll stop asking for any type of advice on anything.

[Erzengel]

No you don't listen.

Poster A: Hey Joker,1000 don't ask her out on myspace.
The Joker 1000: Okay.


Later

The Joker 1000: I'm waiting to ask her out on Myspace.

:huh:

[SpideyVille]

There's a difference between listening and performing. While you may be listening to the advice, you're not doing what people suggest, which sort of defeats the whole purpose of asking for advice.

[Matt Murdock]

There's a difference between listening and performing.
That's what she said.

[The Joker_1000]

No you don't listen.

Poster A: Hey Joker,1000 don't ask her out on myspace.
The Joker 1000: Okay.


Later

The Joker 1000: I'm waiting to ask her out on Myspace.

:huh:


What? When S79 told me to talk to the other girl in person, I did it but it didn't work out so I moved on.

[Erzengel]

You asked at least 3 people the same question about a girl you've been talking to on Myspace.

Correct me if I'm wrong but it was the same girl each time?

[Superman79]

What? When S79 told me to talk to the other girl in person, I did it but it didn't work out so I moved on.

Yeah, I did, but I also said you should ask ANY girl out in person. Just cause it didn't work out once doesn't mean you should go back to the inane internet approach :o

[SpideyVille]

Yeah, I did, but I also said you should ask ANY girl out in person. Just cause it didn't work out once doesn't mean you should go back to the inane internet approach :o

:lmao:

[Superman79]

^ Yeah, I'd laugh too if it wasn't so...frustrating :(

[SpideyVille]

^ Yeah, I'd laugh too if it wasn't so...frustrating :(

Yea, it's sad because it's sounds like that's what he really thought you meant :csad:.

[amazingfantasy15]

Yeah, I did, but I also said you should ask ANY girl out in person. Just cause it didn't work out once doesn't mean you should go back to the inane internet approach :o

Yeah, but he did technically act on the advice once, it's not his fault you weren't clear in your directions that all girls should be asked out in person. You just said that one girl should be asked out in person, once he did that it was fine to go back to MySpace.

[Superman79]

Yeah, but he did technically act on the advice once, it's not his fault you weren't clear in your directions that all girls should be asked out in person. You just said that one girl should be asked out in person, once he did that it was fine to go back to MySpace.

Wait...now this is MY FAULT!?!?!

**slaps forehead**

I assumed he'd get it without drawing up an entire freakin instruction manual

[The Joker_1000]

You asked at least 3 people the same question about a girl you've been talking to on Myspace.

Correct me if I'm wrong but it was the same girl each time?


No, it wasn't the same girl each time.

[Erzengel]

How many girls are we talking about then? Because it all seemed like the same girl and the same story.

Unless you mean this girl you asked just now was a different one on crushspot.

But one would assume you'd be smart enough to think, wow, everyone keeps saying ask people out in person...

[amazingfantasy15]

Wait...now this is MY FAULT!?!?!

**slaps forehead**

I assumed he'd get it without drawing up an entire freakin instruction manual

He's a kid, kid's are stupid...

[Superman79]

He's a kid, kid's are stupid...

I shed a tear for todays youth :csad:

[The Joker_1000]

How many girls are we talking about then? Because it all seemed like the same girl and the same story.

Unless you mean this girl you asked just now was a different one on crushspot.

But one would assume you'd be smart enough to think, wow, everyone keeps saying ask people out in person...

The girl I was talking about earlier this month was someone completely different than the girl I'm talking about now. They are two different people, one's in my class, one isn't.

[Matt Murdock]

He's a kid, kid's are stupid...
That's an awfully general statement for someone who doesn't know how to use the apostrophe to make.

[SpideyVille]

Yeah, but he did technically act on the advice once, it's not his fault you weren't clear in your directions that all girls should be asked out in person. You just said that one girl should be asked out in person, once he did that it was fine to go back to MySpace.

Yea but I thought we all pretty much established than trying to do it online was a bad way to go all the time, and that you can learn more by "growing a pair" and doing it in person. And even if it didn't work on that one girl, that doesn't mean it' a bad idea. It's just a better approach than doing it online. I don't think anyone guaranteed that asking in person was supposed to work 100% of the time.

I shed a tear for todays youth :csad:

Youth is wasted on the young.

[The Joker_1000]

Still, I think I might leave the dating game alone for a while.

[Cunning Stunts]

Still, I think I might leave the dating game alone for a while.

I don't remember if I ever responded to you (I believe I did), but I have a few questions. Keep in mind, I'm not saying what I'm saying to be offensive, but because this is how it's coming out to me:

First: How old are you?

Second: How long have you waited between asking each of these girls out? You don't belong in a steady relationship if you can easily drop one girl and go right after another a day or two later.

Third: I did see your previous posts, and if you're going to ask for advice, you should do your best to take it (provided it's good advice). DO NOT use the internet as any significant means of talking to an interest/girlfriend/boyfriend. Talking to him or her on a sunday night while doing homework is one thing- using it as a means of asking him or her out, or conducting most of your relationship through the internet is JUST.PLAIN.STUPID.

You also seem to have some attention issue as well- I say this for three reasons:

A- You're jumping from girl to girl.

B- You come here asking for advice, and when someone says, "Don't ask for advice if you're going to blatantly ignore it," you jump to the, "Fine, I won't ever do it again," cries. I know a girl who pulls those same games, and I can't stand being around her, because all she ever does is blow situations out of proportion, lie, and try to attract attention to herself. You're reminding me of her- and nobody wants relationships with those types of people. She and her boyfriend fight constantly.

C- You post on here about "leaving the dating game alone for a while." Why? Because you get turned down by a few girls?

Treat dating just like any other activity you're heavily involved in (since you've made it apparent that dating is within in the top two priorities in your life). If you're a career stuntman, and you break your arm in a fall, you don't it fixed and say, "Nevermind, I wasn't cut out for stunts, was I," do you? If you're a professional or seriously involved- no. You get that son of a ***** fixed and get right back out on top of that roof.

In other words- you get turned down, brush it off, and find another interest. This doesn't mean jump right to the next semi-attractive girl who's hit puberty and ask her out within a day of knowing her- this means getting over the last girl (should you need that grieving period) and finding someone else whom you get along with, have fun talking to, are attracted to (emotionally... and physically, but that will come later even if it doesn't now).

It's not like the girl killed you, dude.

[The Joker_1000]

I've know these girls for a while now & I'm not jumping from girl to girl, I've only talked to two so far this year. I asked one out last month, it didn't work out, I asked the girl today, it's been weeks since I've asked any girl. Btw, I don't try desperately to bring attention to myself so I don't know where you're getting that from. It's just not really anyone I'm interested in seeing right now except one person who I tried to date a while back but I felt like she was playing games then so I stopped trying.

[SpideyVille]

How well do you know them? Just because you've seen them around or in class doesn't necessarily mean you know them.

[Erzengel]

The girl I was talking about earlier this month was someone completely different than the girl I'm talking about now. They are two different people, one's in my class, one isn't.

But, you would think you'd follow the same advice?

[Cunning Stunts]

I've know these girls for a while now & I'm not jumping from girl to girl, I've only talked to two so far this year. I asked one out last month, it didn't work out, I asked the girl today, it's been weeks since I've asked any girl. Btw, I don't try desperately to bring attention to myself so I don't know where you're getting that from. It's just not really anyone I'm interested in seeing right now except one person who I tried to date a while back but I felt like she was playing games then so I stopped trying.

I explained pretty clearly where I was getting that idea from.

And just as SpideyVille asked, how well exactly do you know these girls? I knew my first girlfriends for a week, a month, whatever, and it never worked out. If you're looking for a serious realtionship, I think you need to figure out how they work first.

[The Joker_1000]

The whole point of dating is to getting to know someone, I don't know a hell of a lot about them but that was why I was trying to date them, for a serious relationship.

[SpideyVille]

But, you would think you'd follow the same advice?

Yeah I completely agree.And like I said before, this advice is not a guarantee that you will get a girl, it's just advice on how to better your chances. Just because it doesn't help you get one girl doesn't mean the advice is no good. It just means either you didn't try hard enough, or the girl you asked just didn't want to go out with you.

[SpideyVille]

The whole point of dating is to getting to know someone, I don't know a hell of a lot about them but that was why I was trying to date them, for a serious relationship.

If that's how you feel, then you should be checking out those blind dating websites. Seriously, it's hard o build a serious relationship with someone you barely know. It's possible, but it takes a long time. I mean this isn't like the movies where people can fall madly in love with each other as soon as they see each other.

[Cunning Stunts]

The whole point of dating is to getting to know someone, I don't know a hell of a lot about them but that was why I was trying to date them, for a serious relationship.

How about just hanging out with them at school? Meeting them for lunch? Doing something a lot less awkward than asking, "Hey, we've never met before, but would you like to go to a movie?"

Use dating as more of a precursor to an actual relationship, not as a way of getting to know someone.

With one of my relationships during my senior year, the girl and I talked for months before we went out on a date. We were comfortable enough with each other because we'd talked quite a bit before we decided to actually go on an official date. Try that.

[Erzengel]

Serious relationship?

You're 14.

[SpideyVille]

How about just hanging out with them at school? Meeting them for lunch? Doing something a lot less awkward than asking, "Hey, we've never met before, but would you like to go to a movie?"

Use dating as more of a precursor to an actual relationship, not as a way of getting to know someone.

With one of my relationships during my senior year, the girl and I talked for months before we went out on a date. We were comfortable enough with each other because we'd talked quite a bit before we decided to actually go on an official date. Try that.

Yeah, you don't just go from barely knowing each other to serious relationship. You need to have some kind of relationship, like just as friends, before you can actually commit to a serious romantic relationship.

[Cunning Stunts]

Serious relationship?

You're 14.

Wow. I didn't know he was 14.

I retract my statements, dude. Stick to beating off for now:up:.

[SpideyVille]

Wow. I didn't know he was 14.

I retract my statements, dude. Stick to beating off for now:up:.

:pal:

[The Joker_1000]

Wow. I didn't know he was 14.

I retract my statements, dude. Stick to beating off for now:up:.


What you do with your hand is none of our business.

[Cunning Stunts]

What you do with your hand is none of our business.

No, but what you do with yours is now ours. You made it so.

I didn't ask for advice. You did. I'm advising you to leave the girls alone and stick to the "scientific exploration of the human body."

[The Joker_1000]

Leave girls alone? You sound stupid.

[SpideyVille]

Taking a break from girls for a while isn't a bad idea. I'm not saying give up on girls and go for guys. I mean forget about trying to get a girlfriend for a while and just live your life. If you take some time to focus on yourself instead of the pretty girls that you pass by in school, you'll see a lot of improvement in yourself and how others see you. Then when you least expect it, some girl will start showing interest in you, and if you like her too, then you move on from there and get to know her better. But just because a girl is there doesn't mean you have to fall for her right away and start contemplating about starting a romantic relationship with them first. That should just happen along the way, assuming you're talking to her for just a friendship and not just to make out with her.

[Cunning Stunts]

Leave girls alone? You sound stupid.

Sadly enough, I may sound stupid, but you've more than proven yourself to be the stupid one here.

I didn't make it obvious that I was kidding, I know- but you, my friend, should have taken Erz's advice in the first place.

The way you go about dating is just unintelligent in the first place.

And quite frankly, I don't blame that last girl for telling you to leave her alone. You're lucky you're still getting advice from us now, even though you're just telling us we're all wrong, and in turn that you're not going to follow our advice.

[The Joker_1000]

What the hell are you talking about? Most of the girls I talk to I do it in person. These two girls were the first times I actually tried to date someone over the internet with serious intentions so no, I'm not stupid. Honestly, as far as dating goes, screw all of you and your advice.

Deuces

[Erzengel]

Yeah the 14 year old knows more about dating then the ones who've been doing it for years. :huh:

[Cunning Stunts]

What the hell are you talking about? Most of the girls I talk to I do it in person. These two girls were the first times I actually tried to date someone over the internet with serious intentions so no, I'm not stupid. Honestly, as far as dating goes, screw all of you and your advice.

Deuces

Yeah the 14 year old knows more about dating then the ones who've been doing it for years. :huh:

Erz, did we just get pwned by a 14-year old?

No, na, no-way, we couldn't have... He's still single.

Come back and bash the thread's "advisors" when you have a pubescent girlfriend for longer than a month:bow:.

[The Joker_1000]

I never said I knew more but if I need any help I'll find it elsewhere. Btw, it doesn't matter that I'm single, that doesn't bother me.

[Crook]

You know, reading these last few pages....your sig fits you really damn well. :funny: