*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Cunning Stunts]

Damn, the brother zone? That's way worse than the friend zone. That's like saying "we're related so something REALLY won't happen".

But this chick, I liked her too because she was the only girl I was ever truly comfortable with and knew I could completely trust, but she still felt like too much of a friend. We were still friends afterwards and even after I graduated, but lately it's like she doesn't wanna bother with me. Sorta like it's "Out of sight, out of mind" with her.

That's how it gets with a lot of people in high school. Like my "friend" I mentioned a few pages back...

She's around her boyfriend constantly, but in the rare instance he's not there, she *****es, complains, and moans about him not being there- yet she flirts with, gropes, and humps every guy around.

Women just suck at a young age, man.

[SpideyVille]

That's how it gets with a lot of people in high school. Like my "friend" I mentioned a few pages back...

She's around her boyfriend constantly, but in the rare instance he's not there, she *****es, complains, and moans about him not being there- yet she flirts with, gropes, and humps every guy around.

Women just suck at a young age, man.

Yeah, that's why I've been trying to take a break from trying to get a girl. It's so hard to figure some of them out sometimes. They either want you around all the time, or want to be loved by everyone all the time. I'm still waiting for a girl who's not like this to come around. Until then, if I like a girl, it's going to take a long time for me to want to act on it. I've been through too much crap in the past few years to know not to jump right into it.

[Lighthouse]

I have a serious, although possibly stupid question. How reliable do you guys think condoms are at preventing pregnancy. I'm in my mid-twenties and still a virgin. The aspect of getting a girl pregnant terrifies me to no end. The few times that I've had the opportunity, I've chickened out because I was so terrified of the prospect. Would like to know people's input on this question.

[Cunning Stunts]

I have a serious, although possibly stupid question. How reliable do you guys think condoms are at preventing pregnancy. I'm in my mid-twenties and still a virgin. The aspect of getting a girl pregnant terrifies me to no end. The few times that I've had the opportunity, I've chickened out because I was so terrified of the prospect. Would like to know people's input on this question.

Condoms are 99.99% effective against pregnancy and STDs. If you accidentally try to put one on backwards, though, throw that one out.

Adding "the pill" will make it just about 100%. Although, I'm not a huge fan of the pill because it effs with girls' moods... And can cause weight gain:(.

[DV8]

I think someone needs to give us all the gory details of this little outing last night...cutting it to an R rating of course :word:

ok . . . I will when I get to it ;)

on another note . . . why is it that Females have that cock-blocking spidey sense thing going on evertime a guy gets a date!?!?!? :confused:

it seemed that once my date arrangements were solidified, I got seriously 3 other girls asking me to kick it w/ them, and a few others just feelin me on the level (although that pry has more to do with confidence) . . .

ok, this one chick whom I've been trying to get with for forEVER, pretty much just friends now; I don't know why she doesn't want anything more, she's always playing these mind games. she asked me what I was doing yesterday; I kept it real; I told her I had a date. she texted me: 'hav fun.'

then later she texts me back saying 'I gotta scrape me up a date now', and I was like 'shouldn't be a problem for you' . . . she replies 'sure wasn't, gettin dressed now, talk to you tomorrow'

I was like 'cool, have fun', and ended w/ an inside joke between us (long story)

well I obviously had a GREAT time on my date, but I more or less figure she's tryin to make me jealous by telling me 'now I gotta get a date', and the first thing she texts me this morning is: 'Fireworks!' . . . :dry:

we kind of have this sexual tension between us; I've never slept w/ her, and although we're cool and will share sex stories and stuff like that w/ one another, I NEVER ask or tell her how my dates are . . . .

so, just kind of putting that out there to see if it sounds like she's trying to make me jealous or get a read on me or something . . . I ignored the text and never answered, so I think I'm just gonna enjoy my weekend and not really bring the subject up . . .

[Crook]

Condoms are 99.99% effective against pregnancy and STDs.
I'm pretty sure it's less than that. Like high 80s-low 90s. :huh:

[Cunning Stunts]

ok . . . I will when I get to it ;)

on another note . . . why is it that Females have that cock-blocking spidey sense thing going on evertime a guy gets a date!?!?!? :confused:

it seemed that once my date arrangements were solidified, I got seriously 3 other girls asking me to kick it w/ them, and a few others just feelin me on the level (although that pry has more to do with confidence) . . .

ok, this one chick whom I've been trying to get with for forEVER, pretty much just friends now; I don't know why she doesn't want anything more, she's always playing these mind games. she asked me what I was doing yesterday; I kept it real; I told her I had a date. she texted me: 'hav fun.'

then later she texts me back saying 'I gotta scrape me up a date now', and I was like 'shouldn't be a problem for you' . . . she replies 'sure wasn't, gettin dressed now, talk to you tomorrow'

I was like 'cool, have fun', and ended w/ an inside joke between us (long story)

well I obviously had a GREAT time on my date, but I more or less figure she's tryin to make me jealous by telling me 'now I gotta get a date', and the first thing she texts me this morning is: 'Fireworks!' . . . :dry:

we kind of have this sexual tension between us; I've never slept w/ her, and although we're cool and will share sex stories and stuff like that w/ one another, I NEVER ask or tell her how my dates are . . . .

so, just kind of putting that out there to see if it sounds like she's trying to make me jealous or get a read on me or something . . . I ignored the text and never answered, so I think I'm just gonna enjoy my weekend and not really bring the subject up . . .

Well, the fact that you never bring up your dates would normally tell me you have a slight interested in that girl still.

She probably is playing mind games with you- some sort of territory claiming. Thank God the broad doesn't pee on you.

Whether or not you do have interest in her, begin talking about your date. Your showing of comfortability with that will probably tell her, "He's really into this woman, and just wants to be friends." Now, in her mind, that may warrant more head-games, but try not to fall for them.

If they do, then me and the boys will get her on the way to taking out Remy's old boy:ninja:.

[Lighthouse]

Put on a wedding band. Girls will flock to you.

[Cunning Stunts]

I'm pretty sure it's less than that. Like high 80s-low 90s. :huh:

Nope. I was forced into all sorts of research by my parents as a child. Hence why I kept my v-card.

[DV8]

Well, the fact that you never bring up your dates would normally tell me you have a slight interested in that girl still.

She probably is playing mind games with you- some sort of territory claiming. Thank God the broad doesn't pee on you.

Whether or not you do have interest in her, begin talking about your date. Your showing of comfortability with that will probably tell her, "He's really into this woman, and just wants to be friends." Now, in her mind, that may warrant more head-games, but try not to fall for them.

If they do, then me and the boys will get her on the way to taking out Remy's old boy:ninja:.

yeah, you're pry right; the whole territory **** . . . I mean, you're not really saying much more that I don't already know, but thanks for that additional validation

I don't know why she doesn't want to do the dirty deed w/ me . . . I really can't help but still want her . . . I try to play it off but I'm really attracted to her on pretty much every level . . . sometimes it's such a goddam headache I wonder why I'm even still friends w/ her . . .

whatever . . . she's had plenty of chances to have me on a real level; I'm not gonna let her win at these games though :down

[DV8]

If they do, then me and the boys will get her on the way to taking out Remy's old boy:ninja:.

hahaha, what does that mean??

btw dude, can I just tell you that your user name is awesome cuz if you flip the first letter of each word you get a whole new meaning?? :O

I'm sure you pry knew this, but the interesting thing is I was so captivated by that, that one day I had a dream that your name was the title of the new Britney Spears album :lmao: oh that pesky, tricky sub-consciouss :O

[Cunning Stunts]

yeah, you're pry right; the whole territory **** . . . I mean, you're not really saying much more that I don't already know, but thanks for that additional validation

I don't know why she doesn't want to do the dirty deed w/ me . . . I really can't help but still want her . . . I try to play it off but I'm really attracted to her on pretty much every level . . . sometimes it's such a goddam headache I wonder why I'm even still friends w/ her . . .

whatever . . . she's had plenty of chances to have me on a real level; I'm not gonna let her win at these games though :down

Yeah, dude... I learned that, seriously, dating is just like anything else. If you try on a shirt you really don't fit in, why get depressed? Find a new one. There's tons of shirts out there that'll look better on you.

If she just wants to play mind games, what do you think she'll do when you date?

Play mind games:down. Not cool.

Some women are just better off as friends. Others just don't fit as friends and are only really interesting for dating purposes (to a given person). Same goes for guys too. Some of us suck as boyfriends, but rule as friends. Most of us just suck all around:down.

[Cunning Stunts]

hahaha, what does that mean??

btw dude, can I just tell you that your user name is awesome cuz if you flip the first letter of each word you get a whole new meaning?? :O

I'm sure you pry knew this, but the interesting thing is I was so captivated by that, that one day I had a dream that your name was the title of the new Britney Spears album :lmao: oh that pesky, tricky sub-consciouss :O

SpideyVille, omid, Supes, and I formed a special group for taking out ex interests/boyfriends/girlfriends who still cause too many problems. We'll waste the broad for ya:up:.

And, lmao, yeah I knew about it. Hence why I love the same so much.

You're dreaming about me and Britney Spears though? Was this teen Spears or bald Spears:cmad:.

[DV8]

^heh . . . got it; I don't think you need to waste her yet, but I'll keep that in mind :ninja:

yeah, I figured you knew the double meaning behind your name; I don't know why the fk I dreamt about Spears :confused:

[Superman79]

SpideyVille, omid, Supes, and I formed a special group for taking out ex interests/boyfriends/girlfriends who still cause too many problems. We'll waste the broad for ya:up:.

You might wanna count me out on that one. I have rules to my hits...Rule #1: No women, no children. I have scruples :o


so, just kind of putting that out there to see if it sounds like she's trying to make me jealous or get a read on me or something . . . I ignored the text and never answered, so I think I'm just gonna enjoy my weekend and not really bring the subject up . . .
It sounds to me like she has a case of the "can't haveums" She wants what she can't have, but when you're in a position where she can have you, she doesn't want you...women, you can't live with'em, and you can't shoot 'em.

DOn't let her get to you dude...just go after the gal you chose and let your friend sort out her own issues, which is essentially what this is, her own issue.

[SpideyVille]

SpideyVille, omid, Supes, and I formed a special group for taking out ex interests/boyfriends/girlfriends who still cause too many problems. We'll waste the broad for ya:up:.


You might wanna count me out on that one. I have rules to my hits...Rule #1: No women, no children. I have scruples :o


Yea, if it's a female, I won't waste her ... I'll just take her off your hands for a while :O

[DV8]

You might wanna count me out on that one. I have rules to my hits...Rule #1: No women, no children. I have scruples :o


It sounds to me like she has a case of the "can't haveums" She wants what she can't have, but when you're in a position where she can have you, she doesn't want you...women, you can't live with'em, and you can't shoot 'em.

DOn't let her get to you dude...just go after the gal you chose and let your friend sort out her own issues, which is essentially what this is, her own issue.

yeah . . . 'can't have 'ems' sounds pretty accurate . . . also considering the ONE night I pry could have banged her, she really opened up and almost seemed turned on when I told her about the married woman situation :confused: it was almost like she was turned on that I was in the position she wanted to be in: fkn around w/ someone who's off limits . . .

[Cunning Stunts]

Yea, if it's a female, I won't waste her ... I'll just take her off your hands for a while :O

You might wanna count me out on that one. I have rules to my hits...Rule #1: No women, no children. I have scruples :o

My rule is: I won't hit a lady. The difference between the terms is that, a lady won't hit you, mess with your mind, etc.

If they're not a lady, then:cmad::cmad::cmad:.

Not really. I have been forced to hit females though. However, that was sparring class:o. If it came down to self-defense, I'd do like I'd do with anyone else, I'd incapacitate them first. If that doesn't work, then break out the punches and kicks. My specialty:).

[SpideyVille]

My rule is: I won't hit a lady. The difference between the terms is that, a lady won't hit you, mess with your mind, etc.

If they're not a lady, then:cmad::cmad::cmad:.

Not really. I have been forced to hit females though. However, that was sparring class:o. If it came down to self-defense, I'd do like I'd do with anyone else, I'd incapacitate them first. If that doesn't work, then break out the punches and kicks. My specialty:).

I still say send her my way. I'll keep her busy for a while :O

[Grizzly Mac&Cheese]

I don't care if you're a lady, woman, girl, female, etc. You come at me the wrong way, I'm gonna assume you mean me bodily harm and we're fighting. End of story.

[omid17]

SpideyVille, omid, Supes, and I formed a special group for taking out ex interests/boyfriends/girlfriends who still cause too many problems. We'll waste the broad for ya:up:.

And, lmao, yeah I knew about it. Hence why I love the same so much.

You're dreaming about me and Britney Spears though? Was this teen Spears or bald Spears:cmad:.:up:

[Superman79]

I should probably clarify my use of the word "hits"...it was a contract killing joke that no one seemed to get...

[SpideyVille]

I'd hit it :hehe:

[Remy LeBeau X3]

If they do, then me and the boys will get her on the way to taking out Remy's old boy:ninja:.

haha, thanks! but i'm happy to note that i think he's movin on. no calls or texts or anything. i did see him today and he just looked, waved, and smiled. i'm beginning to think one or both of my brothers said something to him. lol oh well he deserves it. :yay:

well if anyone has been following my lil drama on the past few pages. the **** has almost hit the fan. i'd say it's a quarter of the way there right now. so in the next few days it'll probably climax and then finish. i'll elaborate a little later, i need to make some calls and hop in the shower. so if you're reading,

Superman79, Cunning Stunts, and DV8

i'd appreciate your advice again since i pretty much thought of what all of you said yesterday!

[Angel_Faerie]

In two days Spring Break ends and I'll see him again. I am a little nervous about what seeing him in person after all this and looking into those blue eyes is going to do to me. I'm worried I'll get stupid and will start hoping again. That's already beginning. Wanna know how I know? I thought for a moment about trying to ask him out again. Which I know is a really dumb idea.

[theShape]

In two days Spring Break ends and I'll see him again. I am a little nervous about what seeing him in person after all this and looking into those blue eyes is going to do to me. I'm worried I'll get stupid and will start hoping again. That's already beginning. Wanna know how I know? I thought for a moment about trying to ask him out again. Which I know is a really dumb idea.

If you don't even know this kid that well (and it seems like you don't) then it shouldn't be much of a problem for you. To you, he should be nothing more than a pretty face.

[SpideyVille]

In two days Spring Break ends and I'll see him again. I am a little nervous about what seeing him in person after all this and looking into those blue eyes is going to do to me. I'm worried I'll get stupid and will start hoping again. That's already beginning. Wanna know how I know? I thought for a moment about trying to ask him out again. Which I know is a really dumb idea.

Idk, call me old-fashioned by I don't really like it when a girl asks a guy out. I feel it's the girl's duty to capture a guy's interest and show him that she's interested. I think the guy also has to capture the girl's interests and then act upon that by asking the girl out. I mean it's alright for a girl to ask for the guy's company to someplace, but generally I think it's the guy's job to do the asking and the girl's job to make him want to ask.

And yea asking him out is a bad idea because nothing has really happened between you two, especially with this week off and apart from each other, that would warrant you to asking him heck. Heck, for all you know, he probably asked someone else out and has been seeing them since the last time you were in school. Just stay strong Angel. You'll get by just as long as you see things as they are and don't fall into the traps that your mind creates when you have feelings for someone.

[Erzengel]

In two days Spring Break ends and I'll see him again. I am a little nervous about what seeing him in person after all this and looking into those blue eyes is going to do to me. I'm worried I'll get stupid and will start hoping again. That's already beginning. Wanna know how I know? I thought for a moment about trying to ask him out again. Which I know is a really dumb idea.
I really want to give you some "tough love" advice here but you seem like a sweet girl.

He's not worth all the fuss. There will be other guys and I think you should focus on other stuff, clubs, friends, school and try and forget this cat.

[Crook]

Idk, call me old-fashioned by I don't really like it when a girl asks a guy out. I feel it's the girl's duty to capture a guy's interest and show him that she's interested. I think the guy also has to capture the girl's interests and then act upon that by asking the girl out. I mean it's alright for a girl to ask for the guy's company to someplace, but generally I think it's the guy's job to do the asking and the girl's job to make him want to ask.

Yes, I will call that old-fashioned, and I call the "duty" thing absolute bull*****. :o

[omid17]

I really want to give you some "tough love" advice here but you seem like a sweet girl.

He's not worth all the fuss. There will be other guys and I think you should focus on other stuff, clubs, friends, school and try and forget this cat.that's truly the best advice imo

[strikezone89]

are there any girls in this damn world who DONT have to go out every weekend night and drink?
I sure cant find one

[omid17]

i need more tips from you guys and gals

Guys i have a problem( well not really), but i really like this girl, she used to be my neighbor about 10 years ago, sadly i moved away. Now i really want to start talking to her again, but i don't know how, i mean im not scarred to go up to a girl, but i just don't know how to approch her after all this time, can anyone please give me a few tips?

[SpideyVille]

are there any girls in this damn world who DONT have to go out every weekend night and drink?
I sure cant find one

I know how you feel. I tried to hook up with lots of girls and failed. But when I finally found one that had similar feelings for me that I had for her, her weekend party hopping and constant drinking got in the way. It was a trait that really turned me off from waiting to a pursue a relationship with her. All I can say is just hang in there, there's bound to be a few girls out there that are right for you and don't feel the need to have to party and drink all weekend long.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

i need more tips from you guys and gals

Guys i have a problem( well not really), but i really like this girl, she used to be my neighbor about 10 years ago, sadly i moved away. Now i really want to start talking to her again, but i don't know how, i mean im not scarred to go up to a girl, but i just don't know how to approch her after all this time, can anyone please give me a few tips?

well, first off what is the situation? like are you both in the same school now? how is it that you guys have met again? from there, the easiest thing to do is casually talk to her. do not try to pick her up or anything, just see how she's been, reminisce, etc. if you guys used to be friends, even better flash backs. but fill me in a lil more and maybe i can be a bit more help. i recently started talking to a friend from a few years back too, and he just came naturally. keep me posted.

I know how you feel. I tried to hook up with lots of girls and failed. But when I finally found one that had similar feelings for me that I had for her, her weekend party hopping and constant drinking got in the way. It was a trait that really turned me off from waiting to a pursue a relationship with her. All I can say is just hang in there, there's bound to be a few girls out there that are right for you and don't feel the need to have to party and drink all weekend long.

definitely, i honestly do not go out and drink often at all. my friends and i just go out to scope and hang out at someone's place. even when there is a drinking night, i try not to though. just because it's not really my thing, and because i've had plenty of bad experiences from getting even a little bit drunk. maybe i'll meet you guys one day! :cwink:

[omid17]

Remy LeBeau X3;14425766]well, first off what is the situation? like are you both in the same school now? how is it that you guys have met again? from there, the easiest thing to do is casually talk to her. do not try to pick her up or anything, just see how she's been, reminisce, etc. if you guys used to be friends, even better flash backs. but fill me in a lil more and maybe i can be a bit more help. i recently started talking to a friend from a few years back too, and he just came naturally. keep me posted. [/B]



definitely, i honestly do not go out and drink often at all. my friends and i just go out to scope and hang out at someone's place. even when there is a drinking night, i try not to though. just because it's not really my thing, and because i've had plenty of bad experiences from getting even a little bit drunk. maybe i'll meet you guys one day! :cwink:we use to be good friends when we were both younger and we hung out a lot, sadly i had to move away i never saw her again, than one day i was looking around myspace and found her, she looks great and i totally want to get with her, i want her to be my girl, a real relationship you know, but i still feel like a total stranger to her now, i really want ask her out, but i know it ain't that simple, how can i approach this girl 10 years later?

[SpideyVille]

well, first off what is the situation? like are you both in the same school now? how is it that you guys have met again? from there, the easiest thing to do is casually talk to her. do not try to pick her up or anything, just see how she's been, reminisce, etc. if you guys used to be friends, even better flash backs. but fill me in a lil more and maybe i can be a bit more help. i recently started talking to a friend from a few years back too, and he just came naturally. keep me posted.

Yea the girl I used to like in elementary school randomly called a few months back. It was shocked because I had nearly forgotten about her since it's been like 6-7 years. She got my number from a few letters I sent her back then. But i don't know which is weirder, that she randomly called me, or the fact that she was looking threw those old letters.:huh:

definitely, i honestly do not go out and drink often at all. my friends and i just go out to scope and hang out at someone's place. even when there is a drinking night, i try not to though. just because it's not really my thing, and because i've had plenty of bad experiences from getting even a little bit drunk. maybe i'll meet you guys one day! :cwink:Feel free to catch the next train, plane or bus to NY :woot:

[Cunning Stunts]

haha, thanks! but i'm happy to note that i think he's movin on. no calls or texts or anything. i did see him today and he just looked, waved, and smiled. i'm beginning to think one or both of my brothers said something to him. lol oh well he deserves it. :yay:

well if anyone has been following my lil drama on the past few pages. the **** has almost hit the fan. i'd say it's a quarter of the way there right now. so in the next few days it'll probably climax and then finish. i'll elaborate a little later, i need to make some calls and hop in the shower. so if you're reading,

Superman79, Cunning Stunts, and DV8

i'd appreciate your advice again since i pretty much thought of what all of you said yesterday!

Lmao, now call the bastard back and be like, "I LOVE YOU, I WANT YOU BACK!... Just kidding:cmad:."

And no problem, that's what we're in this thread for, haha.

In two days Spring Break ends and I'll see him again. I am a little nervous about what seeing him in person after all this and looking into those blue eyes is going to do to me. I'm worried I'll get stupid and will start hoping again. That's already beginning. Wanna know how I know? I thought for a moment about trying to ask him out again. Which I know is a really dumb idea.

Just always fall back on reality. Realize that you don't want this chance any more. Sure, you do on the outside- but in your mind, you know you're better off without the bastard.

[SpideyVille]

Lmao, now call the bastard back and be like, "I LOVE YOU, I WANT YOU BACK!... Just kidding:cmad:."

:pal: :lmao:

[Cunning Stunts]

are there any girls in this damn world who DONT have to go out every weekend night and drink?
I sure cant find one

Stop looking in bars then:cmad:.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Lmao, now call the bastard back and be like, "I LOVE YOU, I WANT YOU BACK!... Just kidding:cmad:."

And no problem, that's what we're in this thread for, haha.


hey glad to see you here! i was going to let out part two of this drama-fest, but it's actually on-going til this very moment. i'm waiting on a phone call from one of Kyle's friends because he is my "insider". things have actually escalated quite a bit. i will update tomorrow, so hopefully i can catch you then?

[Cunning Stunts]

hey glad to see you here! i was going to let out part two of this drama-fest, but it's actually on-going til this very moment. i'm waiting on a phone call from one of Kyle's friends because he is my "insider". things have actually escalated quite a bit. i will update tomorrow, so hopefully i can catch you then?

Escalation always sucks. Unless of course, you're referring to sexual climax.

Yeah, keep us updated. I haven't been on a lot over the past day because I've got a massively diseased cold sore on my bottom lip, that spread all inside the right side of my mouth. Now I know what Two-Face feels like:ninja:.

Anyways, if it's pissing you off, here's something hilarious to take your mind away for a minute... And probably leave you in tears from crying:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7tRWRSfcDuQ

[omid17]

Remy help me out girl lol

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Escalation always sucks. Unless of course, you're referring to sexual climax.

Yeah, keep us updated. I haven't been on a lot over the past day because I've got a massively diseased cold sore on my bottom lip, that spread all inside the right side of my mouth. Now I know what Two-Face feels like:ninja:.

Anyways, if it's pissing you off, here's something hilarious to take your mind away for a minute... And probably leave you in tears from crying:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=7tRWRSfcDuQ

hey thanks hun! i'm sorry about your cold sore hopefully you get that fixed up soon. that vid is hilarious lol totally random but great! i appreciate it :heart:

Remy help me out girl lol

hey i'll try my best. i'm actually on the phone, so pardon me if i leave which will probably be real soon, i just didn't wanna leave you hangin. you can always PM me you want sometime. but based off of what you said. assuming she is single, did you add her as a friend? if you haven't, do that. if you have, write her a nice comment asking if she remembers you, something like "hey remember me from ___" etc. or maybe send her a message instead and give a little more detail including ^ plus how have you been, what's up, anything of that sort. just keep in mind that it has to be pretty simple first. how does that sound? i can elaborate a bit more.

[batnkevlar]

Ok, so I met this cute girl in the comics section at Borders and we got to talking and she's a huge comic fan... I just got finished with a date with her... we went to dinner, then to minigolf/arcade, then to her place (just to make out and watch 50 First Dates)...

this chick is cool... she likes everything i like and she's cute as f**k... man, i lucked out...

[Erzengel]

we use to be good friends when we were both younger and we hung out a lot, sadly i had to move away i never saw her again, than one day i was looking around myspace and found her, she looks great and i totally want to get with her, i want her to be my girl, a real relationship you know, but i still feel like a total stranger to her now, i really want ask her out, but i know it ain't that simple, how can i approach this girl 10 years later?

Slow and steady wins the race.

Message her, "reintroducing" yourself and then go from there. With "myspace" now, it's easier to talk to people you haven't spoken to in years.

Just say hi, how are you, what have you been up to, etc. and hopefully from there you can start on some back and forth.

[Erzengel]

Ok, so I met this cute girl in the comics section at Borders and we got to talking and she's a huge comic fan... I just got finished with a date with her... we went to dinner, then to minigolf/arcade, then to her place (just to make out and watch 50 First Dates)...

this chick is cool... she likes everything i like and she's cute as f**k... man, i lucked out...

PIITB?

Oh wait, you weren't asking for advice. :o

Closest I've come to that is a gf reading the new Transformers comics. :o

[Erzengel]

are there any girls in this damn world who DONT have to go out every weekend night and drink?
I sure cant find one

Unfortunately, with many girls your age being underage and *gasp* drinking has always been looked at as "cool".

However, there are "good" girls out there, who don't need to go out drinking all the time.

[Superman79]

Ok, so I met this cute girl in the comics section at Borders and we got to talking and she's a huge comic fan... I just got finished with a date with her... we went to dinner, then to minigolf/arcade, then to her place (just to make out and watch 50 First Dates)...

this chick is cool... she likes everything i like and she's cute as f**k... man, i lucked out...

Congrats. :D

[Superman79]

are there any girls in this damn world who DONT have to go out every weekend night and drink?
I sure cant find one

Watch closely the next time you go out. I'm willing to bet not all the girls out are drinking. Many go out as a social thing, but often don't drink...they just go where their friends are, which happens to be the bars. But seriously, watch, there will be some who have nothing but a Coke or a water in front of them all night (or the one beer which never seems to get empty). Those are the girls that are more there for the social not for the booze.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

^ hey yea that's kinda how i do it. pepsi, or a mixed drink with almost nothing in it.

so a few pages ago i was talking about my friends "Sara" and her bf "Kyle" who i suspect is willing to cheat on her because of his constant flirting. well for those who followed, here's part two.

the day before yesterday Sara went over to Kyle's to hang out for a bit. i was waiting to talk to her about him just gauge how she feels about what he's doing. well she called me over to her place a little later in the afternoon and she questions me briefly about if i had done anything with him. i was a little scared he might have made something up or whatever, but the reason she asked was because she was looking through a photo album of her and him that she had got for him a while back. he was in the bathroom or something and she found photos of me in the back of the album. she told me she thought he was waiting to put in more of her and i just happened to be in the photos too. but then the last few didn't have her in them at all, and they were just me and other people. creepy.

apparently she freaked out. she didn't say anything to him at the moment and sent me text and told me she needed to talk right away. so then she told me everything, and later that night she canceled plans with him. he texted me once but i didn't answer. i didn't wanna say or do anything without talking to her first. she was gonna wait and think about what she was going to question him the next day before anything. so i called one of his friends, who i am also friends with, to see if i could get any info on how Kyle was taking the "ignoring" and his bud didn't really help lol. so i had to wait for the next day. well that was yesterday and basically she talked with him and they ended up working out some type of "break" they would go on. i don't know why really, but she says she cares a lot about him.

he told her that he is falling for her and that the photos as well as his flirting with me was because he "used" to like me. he admitted that he liked me before her and still finds me attractive, yet he doesn't like me anymore. but it worries her a bit because she thinks he still does. i mean it seems kinda obvious but i guess she may not want to believe it. there is a chance that either way i'm not too sure what to think or how to react really. i haven't talked to him yet. he called me twice today and i just sent him a text that said i was helping my mom clean. i tried calling Sara a few times but she seems a little upset with me :csad:. she just sent me a text that said she'd call me later.

i feel bad for her because i don't know, i just feel like it's kinda my fault. she's told me it's not but it feels like she's kinda blaming me. so at the moment she's not talking to me, not ignoring but just not really talking as much. idk.

[Eggyman]

Don't feel guilty, Remy, because you've done nothing wrong. Things like this happen - they'll either work it out or they won't . . . and there's nothing really you can do to help them. The best you can do is to just be there for Sara if she needs you.

Realise, that she may act cold towards you sometimes, but it isn't you. It's him. She'll know in her head that it isn't your fault, but logic is sometimes overlooked when you are hurting. It'll work out :)

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Don't feel guilty, Remy, because you've done nothing wrong. Things like this happen - they'll either work it out or they won't . . . and there's nothing really you can do to help them. The best you can do is to just be there for Sara if she needs you.

Realise, that she may act cold towards you sometimes, but it isn't you. It's him. She'll know in her head that it isn't your fault, but logic is sometimes overlooked when you are hurting. It'll work out :)

aww that's sweet. thank you! that actually makes me feel a little better about it. i know that i shouldn't necessarily feel guilty, but i just can't help it. i just hope she's able to "feel better" soon.

[Ray-Fu]

Be proud of yourself for standing by your friend Remy...she'll realize that you came to her first when this all started and she'll be all the more grateful. Just give her time to gather her thoughts :)

[Remy LeBeau X3]

aww thanks. i'm feeling somewhat better about it. i just got a message from her asking to talk later. so hopefully she'll ditch the loser and we can move on from this bs.

[Ray-Fu]

Best of luck :) I'm sure it'll work out...nothing like school drama. I think that's why I like being a loner...no drama to deal with at all :D

[SpideyVille]

Best of luck :) I'm sure it'll work out...nothing like school drama. I think that's why I like being a loner...no drama to deal with at all :D

Amen to that. After I got away from all that school drama and stuff, and took some time to focus on myself, life became a lot happier. Of course, if you met the right people, life gets even more happier than it does when you're alone.:cwink:

[Dkim]

Okay, well I have a friend who I'm realy close to, and we can have the biggest fun together sometimes we only have to look at eachother and we start laughing but we also can talk to eachother and just be ourselfs you know. But I only see him just as a really good friend and he always said the same about me. but lately he started to act different around me he's now like flirting to me and says that he thinks I have beatiful eyes and all, so I just respond like stop sucking up it isnt going to get you anywhere and and a friend of mine who's also a friend of him told me that he likes me now. So I dont know what to do should i just tell him to back of but I dont want to hurt his feeling you know :huh:. Well if you guys have any advice feel free to give it to me :cwink:

[Ray-Fu]

Amen to that. After I got away from all that school drama and stuff, and took some time to focus on myself, life became a lot happier. Of course, if you met the right people, life gets even more happier than it does when you're alone.:cwink:

Oh, I'm sure of that too :) I'm just patient about stuff like that...I have like a couple really close friends and I'm happy with that, and I love my close knit family and when that special someone comes in to my life, it'll be perfect. I don't think I need to search for anything more :)

[Ray-Fu]

Okay, well I have a friend who I'm realy close to, and we can have the biggest fun together sometimes we only have to look at eachother and we start laughing but we also can talk to eachother and just be ourselfs you know. But I only see him just as a really good friend and he always said the same about me. but lately he started to act different around me he's now like flirting to me and says that he thinks I have beatiful eyes and all, so I just respond like stop sucking up it isnt going to get you anywhere and and a friend of mine who's also a friend of him told me that he likes me now. So I dont know what to do should i just tell him to back of but I dont want to hurt his feeling you know :huh:. Well if you guys have any advice feel free to give it to me :cwink:

I take it you only want to be friends with him? I can be pretty dense when it comes to stuff like that :(

[Dkim]

I take it you only want to be friends with him? I can be pretty dense when it comes to stuff like that :(

Yeah...

[SpideyVille]

Okay, well I have a friend who I'm realy close to, and we can have the biggest fun together sometimes we only have to look at eachother and we start laughing but we also can talk to eachother and just be ourselfs you know. But I only see him just as a really good friend and he always said the same about me. but lately he started to act different around me he's now like flirting to me and says that he thinks I have beatiful eyes and all, so I just respond like stop sucking up it isnt going to get you anywhere and and a friend of mine who's also a friend of him told me that he likes me now. So I dont know what to do should i just tell him to back of but I dont want to hurt his feeling you know :huh:. Well if you guys have any advice feel free to give it to me :cwink:

Well if you still want to be friends and nothing more, it's better that you get it straight with him. You could stay quiet and let things pass normally, but he might be tempted to act on his feelings, then things will really get bad. But really, there's no way to get by this without hurting his feelings. But you can just talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. He'll be hurt, but if you do it in a nice way he should understand and force himself to move onto have feelings for someone else, while still remaining a friend to you. But if you do it in an angry way, you're going to drive him away for good and you'll end up losing him as a friend. But just talk to him and get everything sorted out. After all you're friends, you should be able to trust each other and talk about these serious issues w/o it getting in the way of the friendship.

Oh, I'm sure of that too :) I'm just patient about stuff like that...I have like a couple really close friends and I'm happy with that, and I love my close knit family and when that special someone comes in to my life, it'll be perfect. I don't think I need to search for anything more :)

Yeah, I envy you man. I'm the same way but I sort of had to start over. I gave up on all of my friends after high school because I knew they weren't the kind of people that I wanted to be around and I was never happy with them, and my family drifts apart more and more each day. I always wanted that special someone to come into my life and I would try so hard to find her. But now I'm just accepting the loneliness for now, and while I'm still waiting for that special someone, I'm living my life my way and not worrying about forcing her to come into my life. I don't know how long I'll wait, but as long as I find her someday, that's all I can ask for.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Okay, well I have a friend who I'm realy close to, and we can have the biggest fun together sometimes we only have to look at eachother and we start laughing but we also can talk to eachother and just be ourselfs you know. But I only see him just as a really good friend and he always said the same about me. but lately he started to act different around me he's now like flirting to me and says that he thinks I have beatiful eyes and all, so I just respond like stop sucking up it isnt going to get you anywhere and and a friend of mine who's also a friend of him told me that he likes me now. So I dont know what to do should i just tell him to back of but I dont want to hurt his feeling you know :huh:. Well if you guys have any advice feel free to give it to me :cwink:

crap you know what i have a guy friend like that too, i swear we've been close for like six years now, and i'm noticing the flirty stuff too. the same thing, he comments about my eyes, my outfit sometimes, my laugh. but i've been in deniable about it because he's one of my best friends. but now since i see you explaining it, i think it may be inevitable like a sign or something. but hey anyone who gives advice is answering for both of us though!

[omid17]

Slow and steady wins the race.

Message her, "reintroducing" yourself and then go from there. With "myspace" now, it's easier to talk to people you haven't spoken to in years.

Just say hi, how are you, what have you been up to, etc. and hopefully from there you can start on some back and forth.:up:

[SpideyVille]

crap you know what i have a guy friend like that too, i swear we've been close for like six years now, and i'm noticing the flirty stuff too. the same thing, he comments about my eyes, my outfit sometimes, my laugh. but i've been in deniable about it because he's one of my best friends. but now since i see you explaining it, i think it may be inevitable like a sign or something. but hey anyone who gives advice is answering for both of us though!

He's already reached the dreaded friends zone. And if he's flirting with you, that means he doesn't realize it and thinks he has a shot. Now unless you don't think he's gonna make a move, you should probably talk to him about it.

Personally, I've seen for myself that if I have a close female friend, I may not like her romantically, but the though of us getting together always crosses my mind. The only way that this isn't the case is if she has a boyfriend, or if she's made it clear that nothing will ever happen between us. If neither is the case, then the flirting will begin.

[Ray-Fu]

Yeah, I envy you man. I'm the same way but I sort of had to start over. I gave up on all of my friends after high school because I knew they weren't the kind of people that I wanted to be around and I was never happy with them, and my family drifts apart more and more each day. I always wanted that special someone to come into my life and I would try so hard to find her. But now I'm just accepting the loneliness for now, and while I'm still waiting for that special someone, I'm living my life my way and not worrying about forcing her to come into my life. I don't know how long I'll wait, but as long as I find her someday, that's all I can ask for.

Oh dang dude, I'm really sorry to hear. I've only kept one friend since high school and thats only cuz she's way too stubborn to let me go as a person/friend (we were never romantic), and I've really grown to appreciate her too as afriend. We've drifted apart now and then but when the chips are down, I know I could count on her :)

I think it was after University that I really learned how much I appreciate my parents and my family...there was much resenting of my parents through university, but I've really let that go and things have been good. They've even started asking me for advice on how to deal with my lil bros :D

You're doing the best anyone can :) Just hang in there and enjoy it for what it is :)

[Eggyman]

Fake a crush, Dkim. It's a subtle way of showing him that you're not even looking in his direction as far as relationships go. If you do it this way you're not really rejecting him, which will save you from the awkward feeling that normally follows said rejection.

If that doesn't make him quit it, then he's leaving you no option other than to be frank with him.

[Dkim]

crap you know what i have a guy friend like that too, i swear we've been close for like six years now, and i'm noticing the flirty stuff too. the same thing, he comments about my eyes, my outfit sometimes, my laugh. but i've been in deniable about it because he's one of my best friends. but now since i see you explaining it, i think it may be inevitable like a sign or something. but caey anyone who gives advice is answering for both of us though!

Yess we unfortunately have the same problem just spoke to him couple minutes ago and again commenting about how he loves to see me laugh when somebody makes a joke and all and I just dont know what to say when he says things like that. But I see what you mean with the deniablething cause its just weird that one of your best friends develops a crush for you cause you just want nothing to change about the relationship you have with them.

haha give remy and me advice :cwink: :o

[Eggyman]

The only way that this isn't the case is if she has a boyfriend, or if she's made it clear that nothing will ever happen between us. If neither is the case, then the flirting will begin.

You forgot the one about the friend not being hot :)

[Dkim]

Fake a crush, Dkim. It's a subtle way of showing him that you're not even looking in his direction as far as relationships go. If you do it this way you're not really rejecting him, which will save you from the awkward feeling that normally follows said rejection.

If that doesn't make him quit it, then he's leaving you no option other than to be frank with him.


hahah wish I could but I cant fake a crush :oldrazz: and besides I dont want to lie to him. Maybe its just the best way if I talk to him tomorrow about the whole thing

[Remy LeBeau X3]

He's already reached the dreaded friends zone. And if he's flirting with you, that means he doesn't realize it and thinks he has a shot. Now unless you don't think he's gonna make a move, you should probably talk to him about it.

Personally, I've seen for myself that if I have a close female friend, I may not like her romantically, but the though of us getting together always crosses my mind. The only way that this isn't the case is if she has a boyfriend, or if she's made it clear that nothing will ever happen between us. If neither is the case, then the flirting will begin.

ahh, well i've already got other issues over the past few pages of this thread too lol! too much goin on, but i definitely understand you.

Yess we unfortunately have the same problem just spoke to him couple minutes ago and again commenting about how he loves to see me laugh when somebody makes a joke and all and I just dont know what to say when he says things like that. But I see what you mean with the deniablething cause its just weird that one of your best friends develops a crush for you cause you just want nothing to change about the relationship you have with them.

haha give remy and me advice :cwink: :o

haha well it's definitely obvious you know how i feel!

hahah wish I could but I cant fake a crush :oldrazz: and besides I dont want to lie to him. Maybe its just the best way if I talk to him tomorrow about the whole thing

i wouldn't be able to either. but it seems, at least sounds, like your deeper into the flirting. i mean my friend flirts a lot, but i according to my radar "he's not getting into it" just yet. for me it might be because he knows about my ex trying to get back with me and the whole my friend's bf situation. both of which are already in here lol.

but i think talking to him is a good idea. that's kinda what i have in mind if/when my friend decides to try harder. hopefully it works out. let me know what you say! because i don't have any idea, i just know i should lol.

[Ray-Fu]

You could ask him if if he ever thinks of the two of you as a couple and maybe he'll ask you how you feel about it too after his answer. You could even bring up how dating a good friend would be all kinds of awkward to you or something...try to be more subtle then me as that's not my strong point :o

[SpideyVille]

Oh dang dude, I'm really sorry to hear. I've only kept one friend since high school and thats only cuz she's way too stubborn to let me go as a person/friend (we were never romantic), and I've really grown to appreciate her too as afriend. We've drifted apart now and then but when the chips are down, I know I could count on her :)

I think it was after University that I really learned how much I appreciate my parents and my family...there was much resenting of my parents through university, but I've really let that go and things have been good. They've even started asking me for advice on how to deal with my lil bros :D

You're doing the best anyone can :) Just hang in there and enjoy it for what it is :)

Yeah I had a few friends like that, but they didn't treat me well in high school. Like their idea of fun was putting me in embarrassing position, so I was very bitter towards them after graduation and now I just don't talk to them. But the few friends that I would've like to hang around with all went away to college and are now busy with their own lives.

In terms of my family, there is such an age difference that it's hard stay together. I'm only 19, but my bro and sis are both just about 30.They both live far and have their own families now to deal with. It's only me and mom now but she's already 50 so it's like she not in the same mindset that she used to be in terms of having to take care of a child. She has me becoming pretty independent now.

But now I'm in college and finally getting things done for myself. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life , but I'm well prepared for it. As long as I can find myself doing whatever makes me happy in the future, then that's all I really need.

[SpideyVille]

You forgot the one about the friend not being hot :)

Why would I be friends with a girl that's not hot. :o:cwink:

[omid17]

lol

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Why would I be fiends with a girl that's not hot. :o:cwink:

haha nice one!

You could ask him if if he ever thinks of the two of you as a couple and maybe he'll ask you how you feel about it too after his answer. You could even bring up how dating a good friend would be all kinds of awkward to you or something...try to be more subtle then me as that's not my strong point :o

very nice point! Dkim are you reading this? hopefully you're still at a point where you might be able to do this!

[Dkim]

ahh, well i've already got other issues over the past few pages of this thread too lol! too much goin on, but i definitely understand you.



haha well it's definitely obvious you know how i feel!



i wouldn't be able to either. but it seems, at least sounds, like your deeper into the flirting. i mean my friend flirts a lot, but i according to my radar "he's not getting into it" just yet. for me it might be because he knows about my ex trying to get back with me and the whole my friend's bf situation. both of which are already in here lol.

but i think talking to him is a good idea. that's kinda what i have in mind if/when my friend decides to try harder. hopefully it works out. let me know what you say! because i don't have any idea, i just know i should lol.


I make sure that I will tell you the details when I have spoken to him :cwink: Is it bad that Im kinda nervous ? , I can speak with him about everything but this is just a whole other thing :huh:

[Eggyman]

Why would I be fiends with a girl that's not hot. :o:cwink:

LOL! :o

[omid17]

don't be nervous

[Dkim]

You could ask him if if he ever thinks of the two of you as a couple and maybe he'll ask you how you feel about it too after his answer. You could even bring up how dating a good friend would be all kinds of awkward to you or something...try to be more subtle then me as that's not my strong point :o


Im still reading this and thank you for the suggestions you put there I'm sure they will come in hand, and I try to be more subtle then you are :cwink:

[Ray-Fu]

Yeah I had a few friends like that, but they didn't treat me well in high school. Like their idea of fun was putting me in embarrassing position, so I was very bitter towards them after graduation and now I just don't talk to them. But the few friends that I would've like to hang around with all went away to college and are now busy with their own lives.

In terms of my family, there is such an age difference that it's hard stay together. I'm only 19, but my bro and sis are both just about 30.They both live far and have their own families now to deal with. It's only me and mom now but she's already 50 so it's like she not in the same mindset that she used to be in terms of having to take care of a child. She has me becoming pretty independent now.

But now I'm in college and finally getting things done for myself. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life , but I'm well prepared for it. As long as I can find myself doing whatever makes me happy in the future, then that's all I really need.

Well, college is a whole new game and from reading your posts on here, I think you'll be fine :) You have a pretty good head on your shoulders and you seem to know what you're missing. Good on you for that :)

Hopefully your family will one day realize that it's important to stay in touch...or when you're ready, maybe you can mobilize the clan :)

[Ray-Fu]

Im still reading this and thank you for the suggestions you put there I'm sure they will come in hand, and I try to be more subtle then you are :cwink:

Yea, I'm terrible at being subtle ;) :o

[SpideyVille]

I make sure that I will tell you the details when I have spoken to him :cwink: Is it bad that Im kinda nervous ? , I can speak with him about everything but this is just a whole other thing :huh:

There's nothing wrong with being nervous. It just shows that you're worried about possibly hurting your friend. And this just shows how awkward things would be if you took your friendship to the next level and obviously it's something you don't want to deal with.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Hey Omid17 did you get my PM? have you figured out what you're gonna do?

I make sure that I will tell you the details when I have spoken to him :cwink: Is it bad that Im kinda nervous ? , I can speak with him about everything but this is just a whole other thing :huh:

i appreciate it! to tell you the truth sometimes the last few times i was with my friend, he did something that made me nervous because i was tempted to say anything. i don't know what, but something that would cause us to get into this topic. but i was too nervous to. so i would/will definitely be nervous about it. just think that if he's as good of a friend as you think, then everything will be okay. can i ask you Dkim, some of the flirting, any holding, deep eye contact, squeezing going on? lol sorry that might sound weird. i'm trying to compare to my situation. what all does he do?

[SpideyVille]

Well, college is a whole new game and from reading your posts on here, I think you'll be fine :) You have a pretty good head on your shoulders and you seem to know what you're missing. Good on you for that :)

Hopefully your family will one day realize that it's important to stay in touch...or when you're ready, maybe you can mobilize the clan :)
Yeah it's hard with my sister because we live in NY and she moved all the way to California a couple of years ago. But my brother still live pretty close. In fact I babysit his kid everyday. But aside from that I hardly see him unless I'm not home all weekend doing homework.

But yeah things have been getting better. I just started college a few months ago and I can already see things expanding in my life. I'm usually shy but I'm already talking to pretty much everyone in my class. There's one girl I like now, but I know better now that trying to force it isn't going to work, so I'm just going to live my life and whatever happen happens and whatever doesn't doesn't. Nothing worth getting all worked up for. :yay:

[Dkim]

Hey Omid17 did you get my PM? have you figured out what you're gonna do?



i appreciate it! to tell you the truth sometimes the last few times i was with my friend, he did something that made me nervous because i was tempted to say anything. i don't know what, but something that would cause us to get into this topic. but i was too nervous to. so i would/will definitely be nervous about it. just think that if he's as good of a friend as you think, then everything will be okay. can i ask you Dkim, some of the flirting, any holding, deep eye contact, squeezing going on? lol sorry that might sound weird. i'm trying to compare to my situation. what all does he do?

haha its not that weird :cwink: well for instant last thursday we were both at school and we both had a gap hour and we just talked you know but then a friend texted me telling that something happened so I went to her, I told him something ws going on so I get up and he gets up to and he comes to me and says youre to sweet, hope to see you soon again nothing wrong with that but he had that deep eye contact you were talking about....

[Ray-Fu]

Yeah it's hard with my sister because we live in NY and she moved all the way to California a couple of years ago. But my brother still live pretty close. In fact I babysit his kid everyday. But aside from that I hardly see him unless I'm not home all weekend doing homework.

But yeah things have been getting better. I just started college a few months ago and I can already see things expanding in my life. I'm usually shy but I'm already talking to pretty much everyone in my class. There's one girl I like now, but I know better now that trying to force it isn't going to work, so I'm just going to live my life and whatever happen happens and whatever doesn't doesn't. Nothing worth getting all worked up for. :yay:

Nice! Best of luck to you :)

[Remy LeBeau X3]

haha its not that weird :cwink: well for instant last thursday we were both at school and we both had a gap hour and we just talked you know but then a friend texted me telling that something happened so I went to her, I told him something ws going on so I get up and he gets up to and he comes to me and says youre to sweet, hope to see you soon again nothing wrong with that but he had that deep eye contact you were talking about....

hmm i see. lol well one instance for me with my friend, is that he usually puts his hand on my waist or the small of my back you know? i don't mind that too much, like sometimes people do that to me usually an adult or someone trying to walk by or move me. but he used to not, and now that he does it kinda makes me feel like its an excuse to touch me lol? i don't know, and then one time we were playing mario kart 64 lol because we were bored, and when i won a race he smacked my butt and said "good game" that was kinda odd. i know guys do that and so do girls but its obvious for those, but when a guy does it to a chick or vice versa, it's obviously for a different reason.

[SpideyVille]

Nice! Best of luck to you :)

Thanks :yay: :up:

[Remy LeBeau X3]

haha its not that weird :cwink: well for instant last thursday we were both at school and we both had a gap hour and we just talked you know but then a friend texted me telling that something happened so I went to her, I told him something ws going on so I get up and he gets up to and he comes to me and says youre to sweet, hope to see you soon again nothing wrong with that but he had that deep eye contact you were talking about....

hmm i see. lol well one instance for me with my friend, is that he usually puts his hand on my waist or the small of my back you know? i don't mind that too much, like sometimes people do that to me usually an adult or someone trying to walk by or move me. but he used to not, and now that he does it kinda makes me feel like its an excuse to touch me lol? i don't know, and then one time we were playing mario kart 64 lol because we were bored, and when i won a race he smacked my butt and said "good game" that was kinda odd. i know guys do that and so do girls but its obvious for those, but when a guy does it to a chick or vice versa, it's obviously for a different reason.

[Dkim]

hmm i see. lol well one instance for me with my friend, is that he usually puts his hand on my waist or the small of my back you know? i don't mind that too much, like sometimes people do that to me usually an adult or someone trying to walk by or move me. but he used to not, and now that he does it kinda makes me feel like its an excuse to touch me lol? i don't know, and then one time we were playing mario kart 64 lol because we were bored, and when i won a race he smacked my butt and said "good game" that was kinda odd. i know guys do that and so do girls but its obvious for those, but when a guy does it to a chick or vice versa, it's obviously for a different reason.

Bout the smacked butt I wouldnt worry to much, theres lot of boys who do that (even my brother does it to me) and are just being playful. But yeah if he touched you lately more than before ad if it is a exuse to touch you than Its probaly for a different reason I think.....Kind of sucks all dont you think :csad::cwink:

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Bout the smacked butt I wouldnt worry to much, theres lot of boys who do that (even my brother does it to me) and are just being playful. But yeah if he touched you lately more than before ad if it is a exuse to touch you than Its probaly for a different reason I think.....Kind of sucks all dont you think :csad::cwink:

oh yea i'm not really worried about it, but i just feel a little bit weird since i'm pretty sure, not 100% but at least %85 maybe, that he likes me. what do you mean different reason about the touching? does suck if one of my best friends likes me! he can do better, i don't know why he's trying lol.

[Superman79]

i feel bad for her because i don't know, i just feel like it's kinda my fault. she's told me it's not but it feels like she's kinda blaming me. so at the moment she's not talking to me, not ignoring but just not really talking as much. idk.

Don't feel bad. None of it is your fault. Just stick by your friend and things will work out.

Okay, well I have a friend who I'm realy close to, and we can have the biggest fun together sometimes we only have to look at eachother and we start laughing but we also can talk to eachother and just be ourselfs you know. But I only see him just as a really good friend and he always said the same about me. but lately he started to act different around me he's now like flirting to me and says that he thinks I have beatiful eyes and all, so I just respond like stop sucking up it isnt going to get you anywhere and and a friend of mine who's also a friend of him told me that he likes me now. So I dont know what to do should i just tell him to back of but I dont want to hurt his feeling you know :huh:. Well if you guys have any advice feel free to give it to me :cwink:

Just be frank with him off the bat. It might sting him at first, in the end he'll feel much better about it. Make sure you point out the reason for your frankness is that you care for him enough as a friend to tell him what's what and would hate to lose him, because, trust me as one who's gon through it, unrequited "maybe she'll come around" pursuits always end in bitterness and a loss of the friendship that could have been prevented with some openness.

and when i won a race he smacked my butt and said "good game" that was kinda odd. i know guys do that and so do girls but its obvious for those, but when a guy does it to a chick or vice versa, it's obviously for a different reason.

He said "good game" that makes it ok. :o

It's just like when guys slap butts in football, if you say "good game" its not gay...if you don't say it...:ninja: :oldrazz:

[SpideyVille]

Bout the smacked butt I wouldnt worry to much, theres lot of boys who do that (even my brother does it to me) and are just being playful. But yeah if he touched you lately more than before ad if it is a exuse to touch you than Its probaly for a different reason I think.....Kind of sucks all dont you think :csad::cwink:
Whoa, I've known guys who were extremely playful with girls that they had no feelings for, and unless they were gay, even they would never smack a girl's butt, no matter how well they knew them. It obviously sounds like an excuse just to touch you.

[Dkim]

oh yea i'm not really worried about it, but i just feel a little bit weird since i'm pretty sure, not 100% but at least %85 maybe, that he likes me. what do you mean different reason about the touching? does suck if one of my best friends likes me! he can do better, i don't know why he's trying lol.

different as in different than being playful that he likes you. And dont cut yourself down you seem like nice girl thats why hes trying it :cwink:

[Remy LeBeau X3]

He said "good game" that makes it ok. :o

It's just like when guys slap butts in football, if you say "good game" its not gay...if you don't say it...:ninja: :oldrazz:

that's what i hope it is except, i think i might have to agree with Spidey because he used to never do that before when we'd play a game or anything of that sort. i was wearing my cheer shorts too so i really felt it lol.

Whoa, I've known guys who were extremely playful with girls that they had no feelings for, and unless they were gay, even they would never smack a girl's butt, no matter how well they knew them. It obviously sounds like an excuse just to touch you.

i think you nailed it.

different as in different than being playful that he likes you. And dont cut yourself down you seem like nice girl thats why hes trying it :cwink:

aww thanks! i don't know, do you wonder why your guy friend kinda just started to seem to like you? makes me wonder like if changed or something. like my appearance, mentality, matured, or maybe just my whole personality.

[Superman79]

Well then Remy, it sounds like you have the same issue as Kim, to which I give the same recommendation. Lay the truth out there that there can't be anything more between you than friendship. He may sulk for a while, and possibly even not speak to you/ be weird for a bit, but in the end he'll get over it. What he won't get over is prolonged torture of thinking theres a chance when their isn't. Trust me on this one, tell him how it is.

[Superman79]

i don't know, do you wonder why your guy friend kinda just started to seem to like you? makes me wonder like if changed or something. like my appearance, mentality, matured, or maybe just my whole personality.

You didn't change. He became your friend because he saw what a great person you are. As he became closer, he thought so much of you that it just happened to grow for him from friendship to attraction. Its nothing you did, its just human nature.

[SpideyVille]

that's what i hope it is except, i think i might have to agree with Spidey because he used to never do that before when we'd play a game or anything of that sort. i was wearing my cheer shorts too so i really felt it lol.



i think you nailed it.

It's sort of a respect of privacy or space that most people tend to have even with their closest friends. I knew this one girl who was pretty open with her friends. There wasn't really much that bothered her. Like if a girl poked her boob, she wouldn't get angry. Same with if one of her gay friends did. But when one of her straight guy friends did it, she got really mad. I mean she was really close with all of these people, but there's still that privacy or space issue that she felt needed to be respected. Unless you say it's okay for him to do it, he shouldn't really do it because it's very inappropriate.

[Dkim]

aww thanks! i don't know, do you wonder why your guy friend kinda just started to seem to like you? makes me wonder like if changed or something. like my appearance, mentality, matured, or maybe just my whole personality.

Well I do I've know him since the beginning of high school (sitting now in my last year) ,, I dont feel like I'm realy changed much do you? But there must be something changed cause they now seem to like us and they not seemed to like us like that realy before. But it also can be that he knows you for such a long time (6years was it right?) that he now feels so comfortoble with you and thats why he has developed those feelings, you get what I'm saying?

[omid17]

You didn't change. He became your friend because he saw what a great person you are. As he became closer, he thought so much of you that it just happened to grow for him from friendship to attraction. Its nothing you did, its just human nature.see that's where im pretty much at with the girl im trying to get with

[Remy LeBeau X3]

You didn't change. He became your friend because he saw what a great person you are. As he became closer, he thought so much of you that it just happened to grow for him from friendship to attraction. Its nothing you did, its just human nature.

hmm i see. i guess that makes sense, one of my friends is bi and she has been out since middle school and she was still part of my circle of friends of course, yet last year she recently started hitting on me lol. so i guess she just got closer! and she is serious like she told me she'd love to.... in a friendly non aggressive way. so i'm cautious about drinking around her. especially because there was one incident where.... completely off topic so i'm not goin there lol.

but i agree Supes, so thanks!

[omid17]

Well I do I've know him since the beginning of high school (sitting now in my last year) ,, I dont feel like I'm realy changed much do you? But there must be something changed cause they now seem to like us and they not seemed to like us like that realy before. But it also can be that he knows you for such a long time (6years was it right?) that he now feels so comfortoble with you and thats why he has developed those feelings, you get what I'm saying?i agree

[omid17]

hmm i see. i guess that makes sense, one of my friends is bi and she has been out since middle school and she was still part of my circle of friends of course, yet last year she recently started hitting on me lol. so i guess she just got closer! and she is serious like she told me she'd love to.... in a friendly non aggressive way. so i'm cautious about drinking around her. especially because there was one incident where.... completely off topic so i'm not goin there lol.

but i agree Supes, so thanks!this guy you like, has he had any other girlfriends? and how many? im asking because he could be one of those guys that likes to " hit it and quit it" you know,

[Superman79]

this guy you like, has he had any other girlfriends? and how many? im asking because he could be one of those guys that likes to " hit it and quit it" you know,

Odds are, if they were friends first, that's not the case. H&Q guys usually have a 'no fly zone' around girls they consider friends. :o

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Well I do I've know him since the beginning of high school (sitting now in my last year) ,, I dont feel like I'm realy changed much do you? But there must be something changed cause they now seem to like us and they not seemed to like us like that realy before. But it also can be that he knows you for such a long time (6years was it right?) that he now feels so comfortoble with you and thats why he has developed those feelings, you get what I'm saying?

i really don't feel like i've changed, but i guess no one really does you know. but yea i agree it must be the comfort thing. and yea six years, been friends since 6th grade. i just feel bad because there was this girl he really liked two years ago and she broke his heart. i just don't wanna be the one to do anything like that. he came to me after that girl, and if i do it, who's he gonna go to you know? crap, well for all i know maybe he doesn't like me, maybe it's all in my head lol, man i have a lot of issues!

So Dkim have you figured out what you'll say or are you just gonna wing it with your feelings?

[Remy LeBeau X3]

this guy you like, has he had any other girlfriends? and how many? im asking because he could be one of those guys that likes to " hit it and quit it" you know,

guy i like? i don't like this guy lol. i mean i love him to death! in the friendly way, but nothing more. he's definitely not the hit it and quit it either. he's very genuine.

[omid17]

i really don't feel like i've changed, but i guess no one really does you know. but yea i agree it must be the comfort thing. and yea six years, been friends since 6th grade. i just feel bad because there was this girl he really liked two years ago and she broke his heart. i just don't wanna be the one to do anything like that. he came to me after that girl, and if i do it, who's he gonna go to you know? crap, well for all i know maybe he doesn't like me, maybe it's all in my head lol, man i have a lot of issues!

So Dkim have you figured out what you'll say or are you just gonna wing it with your feelings?...

[Dkim]

i really don't feel like i've changed, but i guess no one really does you know. but yea i agree it must be the comfort thing. and yea six years, been friends since 6th grade. i just feel bad because there was this girl he really liked two years ago and she broke his heart. i just don't wanna be the one to do anything like that. he came to me after that girl, and if i do it, who's he gonna go to you know? crap, well for all i know maybe he doesn't like me, maybe it's all in my head lol, man i have a lot of issues!

So Dkim have you figured out what you'll say or are you just gonna wing it with your feelings?


Yeah you just dont want to be responsible to the pain your probaly gonna cause him.
lol I also am like that maybe my imagination is running wild or you thinking to much...

Well I just gonna wing with my feeling just say what I think and feel to be as honest as possible

[omid17]

Yeah you just dont be responsible to the pain your probaly gonna cause him.
lol I also am like that maybe my imagination is running wild or you thinking to much...

Well I just gonna wing with my feeling just say what I think and feel to be as honest as possiblei totally agree

[Superman79]

Yeah you just dont be responsible to the pain your probaly gonna cause him.
lol I also am like that maybe my imagination is running wild or you thinking to much...

Well I just gonna wing with my feeling just say what I think and feel to be as honest as possible

Its gonna hurt him I assure you, but remember...its gonna hurt him A LOT more if he goes on thinking theres a chance and then later is crushed to find out there isn't. Its a balance of either doing the "bandaid pull" now and having him get over it, or letting it fester leading to him likely hating you and harboring bitterness over it for years to come.

Tell him how it is, trust me its the only real option you have. :up:

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Yeah you just dont want to be responsible to the pain your probaly gonna cause him.
lol I also am like that maybe my imagination is running wild or you thinking to much...

Well I just gonna wing with my feeling just say what I think and feel to be as honest as possible

that sounds good, kinda what i want to do if i have to.

Its gonna hurt him I assure you, but remember...its gonna hurt him A LOT more if he goes on thinking theres a chance and then later is crushed to find out there isn't. Its a balance of either doing the "bandaid pull" now and having him get over it, or letting it fester leading to him likely hating you and harboring bitterness over it for years to come.

Tell him how it is, trust me its the only real option you have. :up:

your scaring us with that talk! at least me lol! i really understand what you're saying, i will vouche for Dkim when i say i think we'll both be able to make sure he understands, as we both know our friends pretty well and we'll be able to cater to any area where it might be fuzzy for them.

don't get me wrong though, you're definitely right, i just wish you weren't lol

good luck tomorrow Dkim!

[SpideyVille]

S79 is completely right with the band-aid metaphor. It's much less painful, on the both of you, if you get it over with right away rather than let it build up.

[Dkim]

your scaring us with that talk! at least me lol! i really understand what you're saying, i will vouche for Dkim when i say i think we'll both be able to make sure he understands, as we both know our friends pretty well and we'll be able to cater to any area where it might be fuzzy for them.

don't get me wrong though, you're definitely right, i just wish you weren't lol

good luck tomorrow Dkim!


^ I'm agreing with you,, wouldnt it come in handy if some people just couldnt have emotions we didnt have to worry about these things :dry: :oldrazz: Superman79 you are right,,,^I'm doing it tomorrow so yeah I'm using the band-aid metaphor

[Dkim]

good luck tomorrow Dkim!

THank youu :o

[Superman79]

^ I'm agreing with you,, wouldnt it come in handy if some people just couldnt have emotions we didnt have to worry about these things :dry: :oldrazz: Superman79 you are right,,,^I'm doing it tomorrow so yeah I'm using the band-aid metaphor

Glad to help. Best of luck to you and to Remy...

[Angel_Faerie]

Something that's bugging me: if the girl Colter was talking about isn't me (or someone else in the class), why did he mention it in his speech? I guess none of that matters now...

[Cunning Stunts]

^ hey yea that's kinda how i do it. pepsi, or a mixed drink with almost nothing in it.

so a few pages ago i was talking about my friends "Sara" and her bf "Kyle" who i suspect is willing to cheat on her because of his constant flirting. well for those who followed, here's part two.

the day before yesterday Sara went over to Kyle's to hang out for a bit. i was waiting to talk to her about him just gauge how she feels about what he's doing. well she called me over to her place a little later in the afternoon and she questions me briefly about if i had done anything with him. i was a little scared he might have made something up or whatever, but the reason she asked was because she was looking through a photo album of her and him that she had got for him a while back. he was in the bathroom or something and she found photos of me in the back of the album. she told me she thought he was waiting to put in more of her and i just happened to be in the photos too. but then the last few didn't have her in them at all, and they were just me and other people. creepy.

apparently she freaked out. she didn't say anything to him at the moment and sent me text and told me she needed to talk right away. so then she told me everything, and later that night she canceled plans with him. he texted me once but i didn't answer. i didn't wanna say or do anything without talking to her first. she was gonna wait and think about what she was going to question him the next day before anything. so i called one of his friends, who i am also friends with, to see if i could get any info on how Kyle was taking the "ignoring" and his bud didn't really help lol. so i had to wait for the next day. well that was yesterday and basically she talked with him and they ended up working out some type of "break" they would go on. i don't know why really, but she says she cares a lot about him.

he told her that he is falling for her and that the photos as well as his flirting with me was because he "used" to like me. he admitted that he liked me before her and still finds me attractive, yet he doesn't like me anymore. but it worries her a bit because she thinks he still does. i mean it seems kinda obvious but i guess she may not want to believe it. there is a chance that either way i'm not too sure what to think or how to react really. i haven't talked to him yet. he called me twice today and i just sent him a text that said i was helping my mom clean. i tried calling Sara a few times but she seems a little upset with me :csad:. she just sent me a text that said she'd call me later.

i feel bad for her because i don't know, i just feel like it's kinda my fault. she's told me it's not but it feels like she's kinda blaming me. so at the moment she's not talking to me, not ignoring but just not really talking as much. idk.

Omid, Supes, and Spidey, gear up. We got another cap to bust in this dude's ass:cmad:.

Your friend sounds like she's being a bit over-reactive too (if she actually is blaming you for it). You don't seem to have done anything wrong, and you can't tell someone's feelings to turn off (I apologize now if I didn't read some apparent changes in other posts, I'm too dizzy to read 4 pages:dry:).

You should see the horse pills the doc gave me. Can you say, "HYOOJ?!:wow:"

Anyway, just as I was saying, you can't help the *******'s feelings, but you can help your actions. It seems like you took the right actions, so don't worry. It sounds like this guy's still bent over you, whether it's emotional or physical attraction, we probably won't know 'til he asks you out or for sex.

In either case, remove his pecker:bow:.

Something that's bugging me: if the girl Colter was talking about isn't me (or someone else in the class), why did he mention it in his speech? I guess none of that matters now...

Maybe he mentioned the girl because she wasn't in the class, and she wouldn't hear it? I think you're looking too far into everything. If you just keep coming back here asking us other questions about Colter, you're going to keep yourself hung up on him.

Take up an activity, like I said. You're letting yourself get much too bent on this guy, even after it's supposedly been made apparent that he's not interested in you. That kind of stuff really isn't healthy, and sounds to me to be bordering on obsession.

Also, if it doesn't matter now, why ask it?

[Cunning Stunts]

Okay, well I have a friend who I'm realy close to, and we can have the biggest fun together sometimes we only have to look at eachother and we start laughing but we also can talk to eachother and just be ourselfs you know. But I only see him just as a really good friend and he always said the same about me. but lately he started to act different around me he's now like flirting to me and says that he thinks I have beatiful eyes and all, so I just respond like stop sucking up it isnt going to get you anywhere and and a friend of mine who's also a friend of him told me that he likes me now. So I dont know what to do should i just tell him to back of but I dont want to hurt his feeling you know :huh:. Well if you guys have any advice feel free to give it to me :cwink:

Well if you still want to be friends and nothing more, it's better that you get it straight with him. You could stay quiet and let things pass normally, but he might be tempted to act on his feelings, then things will really get bad. But really, there's no way to get by this without hurting his feelings. But you can just talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. He'll be hurt, but if you do it in a nice way he should understand and force himself to move onto have feelings for someone else, while still remaining a friend to you. But if you do it in an angry way, you're going to drive him away for good and you'll end up losing him as a friend. But just talk to him and get everything sorted out. After all you're friends, you should be able to trust each other and talk about these serious issues w/o it getting in the way of the friendship.

Sorry, Dkim, that I didn't reply to this with the other post, but I had to read up on what else has been said (I already knew the others' stories).

Basically, Dk, Spidey NAILED it. If you just let him flirt his ass off with you (for whatever reason) and never make it solid and clear that you're not interested in dating him, he's going to keep going thinking he's going to have his shot.

By you saying, "Stop sucking up, it won't get you anywhere," if I were in the dude's place, I'd have probably taken that as a joke- as if you didn't really think I liked you, and that you were just effin' around with me as if I did. Since this guy apparently does like you, you need to tell him (soon... like, the next time you see him) that you're not interested, you don't wish to date him, and you just want to remain close friends.

If you drag this out for too long, he may lose his friendship with you and your relationship with him will become completely based on attraction... That way, a turn down = no girlfriend for him AND no friend for you. If you're fortunate enough for this not to have happened already, take advantage of it, and lay down the law. But do it nicely. Just because you're friends doesn't mean you can say, "You're my best friend, but you're just too ugly and that time you farted on my head wasn't cool, ****head:pal:." (Basically, a "too friendly" sort of way.) You can't be laughing and joking around when you explain yourself with this particular subject.

Be serious and honest, but not a jerk, with this guy, and if he's smart enough, he'll get it.

If not, then we have a third on our hitlist:cmad:.

[Angel_Faerie]

Maybe he mentioned the girl because she wasn't in the class, and she wouldn't hear it? I think you're looking too far into everything. If you just keep coming back here asking us other questions about Colter, you're going to keep yourself hung up on him.

Take up an activity, like I said. You're letting yourself get much too bent on this guy, even after it's supposedly been made apparent that he's not interested in you. That kind of stuff really isn't healthy, and sounds to me to be bordering on obsession.

Also, if it doesn't matter now, why ask it?

I guess you're right. I'm not really bent on him anymore, I was just giving a last thought on the whole matter. Trying to prepare myself for tomorrow. I'm throwing in the towel. This mystery girl must be the most perfect girl in the universe. I hope she cares about him a million times more than I did. He deserves to be happy, even if it isn't with me like I used to want.

[Superman79]

Something that's bugging me: if the girl Colter was talking about isn't me (or someone else in the class), why did he mention it in his speech? I guess none of that matters now...

I pretty much have to agree with CS. Just because his project was in that class didn't mean the girl he referenced was too. In fact, it would be safer to bet she WASN'T in the class, so as to allow him to express himself freely without being found out. Sorry AF. :csad:

[Cunning Stunts]

I guess you're right. I'm not really bent on him anymore, I was just giving a last thought on the whole matter. Trying to prepare myself for tomorrow. I'm throwing in the towel. This mystery girl must be the most perfect girl in the universe. I hope she cares about him a million times more than I did. He deserves to be happy, even if it isn't with me like I used to want.

Well look here, part of actually "throwing in the towel" is to stop asking these questions. And stop worrying about this mystery girl. Just because he likes her and not you doesn't make her a great girl, nor does it necessarily make her "better" than you. This girl probably puts out, and Colter probably just wants to have sex.

You're in high school, your hormones are raging, and so is the need to have sex. The right guy is probably not going to present himself to you in high school... And even if you find him, he probably won't present himself to you bluntly and obviously. This, like everything else, takes work and time. So just sit back, don't worry about Colter, and forget about the mystery girl. Thinking about all that will halt your ability to actually enjoy high school and teen life, not to mention dating.

I pretty much have to agree with CS. Just because his project was in that class didn't mean the girl he referenced was too. In fact, it would be safer to bet she WASN'T in the class, so as to allow him to express himself freely without being found out. Sorry AF. :csad:

That's 'cause I'm always right:cmad:.

Just kidding:word:.

[SpideyVille]

Thinking about all that will halt your ability to actually enjoy high school and teen life, not to mention dating.

This is so QFT, that i's hard to believe how much QFT it is :up:

Seriously though, I'm in my first year of college and I haven't been thinking about trying to get a girl anywhere near as much as I did in high school. In fact, when I look back at my high school years, I completely hate it and I hate myself because I was so caught up in trying to get a f and falling for so many girls that I never knew how to have fun. The past 4 years passed by so quickly and I can't even remember doing something I enjoyed because I was so full of heartache and depression over all the girls I couldn't get. I got rid of that part of me and learned how to control my emotions and now I'm finally at a point where I can say I'm happy with life and I'm happy with myself. There's this one girl that I like, and even though I'm not sure whether I should pursue it or not (even after things have felt a little more promising in the past few weeks), I'm not letting it interfere with how I live my life. I'm happy now, and if I don't get the girl, I'll still be happy afterwards because it's not the end of the world and life will carry on.

[Kirmit]

Hey all, just wondering if any of you smart people could help me out with a problem please. The thing is I have this good female friend and on Friday I told her I would be going down this club last night, a place she never usually goes. So last night I decided I couldn't be bothered to go out but I found out she went down there all dressed up nice just to see me and now she's acting funny with me, like she doesn't want to see me. So really my question is does anyone think she has a crush on me and have I screwed it up? Thanks in advance. Just to add to it, on friday she was asking me if she's a flirt, I said yes in a joking way and she asked if she's flirty with me, I replied that I wouldn't notice even if she was because I'm crap at picking up signals that a girl likes me.

[Superman79]

Hey all, just wondering if any of you smart people could help me out with a problem please. The thing is I have this good female friend and on Friday I told her I would be going down this club last night, a place she never usually goes. So last night I decided I couldn't be bothered to go out but I found out she went down there all dressed up nice just to see me and now she's acting funny with me, like she doesn't want to see me. So really my question is does anyone think she has a crush on me and have I screwed it up? Thanks in advance. Just to add to it, on friday she was asking me if she's a flirt, I said yes in a joking way and she asked if she's flirty with me, I replied that I wouldn't notice even if she was because I'm crap at picking up signals that a girl likes me.

I would need to hear more about your other interactions to tell if she's 'giving you signals'...what you've told me isn't much.

As for the club thing. My initial reaction is that she's acting weird because shes a bit pissed at you. She was gonna go hang out with her friend (you) at a place she doesn't normally frequent (likely because she doesn't like it, and thus just went because of you) only to find that you "lied" to her (yes, you didn't really lie, but you DID tell her you'd be there then backed out without informing her) and she was embarrassingly stuck at this club she doesn't like without anyone to hang out with.

Long and short of it: she's pissed you. :o

Course of action: Let her cool down for a while, then apologize profusely for not being out.

As for the flirty comment...its not an indication that she likes you. More likely than not, someone accused her of being a flirt and so she asked you your opinion. I have had that happen to female friends (and even been accused of being a flirt myself). As being a flirt is usually considered a negative, you then ask your friends about it seeking validation. It means nothing as to her feelings...sorry bro.

Thus far I see nothing for interest, but I'd need more details to give you a better observation.

[Crook]

I think the better question is: do you "like" her back?

Imo, there's 2 completely different ways of going about this, based on that. :o

[Erzengel]

Agreed Crook.

But from what he's told us, it's evident that this girl likes her and her behavior was according to her feelings for him.

But the question really is do you like her?

[Kirmit]

I would need to hear more about your other interactions to tell if she's 'giving you signals'...what you've told me isn't much.

As for the club thing. My initial reaction is that she's acting weird because shes a bit pissed at you. She was gonna go hang out with her friend (you) at a place she doesn't normally frequent (likely because she doesn't like it, and thus just went because of you) only to find that you "lied" to her (yes, you didn't really lie, but you DID tell her you'd be there then backed out without informing her) and she was embarrassingly stuck at this club she doesn't like without anyone to hang out with.

Long and short of it: she's pissed you. :o

Course of action: Let her cool down for a while, then apologize profusely for not being out.

As for the flirty comment...its not an indication that she likes you. More likely than not, someone accused her of being a flirt and so she asked you your opinion. I have had that happen to female friends (and even been accused of being a flirt myself). As being a flirt is usually considered a negative, you then ask your friends about it seeking validation. It means nothing as to her feelings...sorry bro.

Thus far I see nothing for interest, but I'd need more details to give you a better observation.

Thanks :yay:.

Well when we're out she's usually quite touchy feely with me, sitting on my lap or really close to me, putting her hand on my leg, amongst other things, though I usually just take it as messing around. The talk between us is usually humourous but we do talk about serious stuff and alot about sexual things. She also does this weird thing where it looks like she's about to give me a hug but then kind of backs out last minute and strokes my arm instead.

About the club, there were other friends of ours there, so she wasn't alone, I have heard today she moaned alot of the night that I wasn't there.

Yeah I didn't think much of the flirting question, I just found it odd at the time she asked if she flirted with me, thinking she'd know if she was flirting, however I have actually been accused of being a flirt and not realising I was doing it.

As for if I have feelings for her, well I don't know, at times I see her as more than a friend then other times as a best bud, I can't seem to define between the two.

[Angel_Faerie]

This girl probably puts out, and Colter probably just wants to have sex.

That's not true, actually. Colter's a virgin and is saving himself for marrige. That's something that first attracted me to him. He's as spotless in that area as I am. I'm waiting until marrige too. That's one thing I've always wanted in a guy. I don't want to have to worry about catching an STD on my wedding night because the man I married has slept with 5 women before me.

[Erzengel]

AF seriously you are being a little overdramatic and I'm not trying to patronize you but you have already put too much effort into this guy and worse yet you've put him on a pedestal that he many not even deserve.

[Angel_Faerie]

AF seriously you are being a little overdramatic and I'm not trying to patronize you but you have already put too much effort into this guy and worse yet you've put him on a pedestal that he many not even deserve.

I'm not putting any more effort into him. I'm done. He's off any pedastal I put him on. I was just explaining to Cunning that he isn't looking for a girl to have sex with, is all. And how that was one of the first things I liked about him. But now it's over. I still think he's attractive, but I'm moving on with my life. Sorry Colter, the AF Train has left the station.

(BTW, sorry for seeming overdramatic. I've always had a very drmatic personailty.)

[amazingfantasy15]

Hey all, just wondering if any of you smart people could help me out with a problem please. The thing is I have this good female friend and on Friday I told her I would be going down this club last night, a place she never usually goes. So last night I decided I couldn't be bothered to go out but I found out she went down there all dressed up nice just to see me and now she's acting funny with me, like she doesn't want to see me. So really my question is does anyone think she has a crush on me and have I screwed it up? Thanks in advance. Just to add to it, on friday she was asking me if she's a flirt, I said yes in a joking way and she asked if she's flirty with me, I replied that I wouldn't notice even if she was because I'm crap at picking up signals that a girl likes me.

Thanks :yay:.

Well when we're out she's usually quite touchy feely with me, sitting on my lap or really close to me, putting her hand on my leg, amongst other things, though I usually just take it as messing around. The talk between us is usually humourous but we do talk about serious stuff and alot about sexual things. She also does this weird thing where it looks like she's about to give me a hug but then kind of backs out last minute and strokes my arm instead.

About the club, there were other friends of ours there, so she wasn't alone, I have heard today she moaned alot of the night that I wasn't there.

Yeah I didn't think much of the flirting question, I just found it odd at the time she asked if she flirted with me, thinking she'd know if she was flirting, however I have actually been accused of being a flirt and not realising I was doing it.

As for if I have feelings for her, well I don't know, at times I see her as more than a friend then other times as a best bud, I can't seem to define between the two.

You screwed up big time dude. Take her out to dinner as an apology and DON'T FLAKE OUT ON HER! If you invited the girl out to the club and decided not to go, it was your responsibility to mention that you weren't really feeling up for it, no matter how many other friends were out that night.

[Kirmit]

You screwed up big time dude. Take her out to dinner as an apology and DON'T FLAKE OUT ON HER! If you invited the girl out to the club and decided not to go, it was your responsibility to mention that you weren't really feeling up for it, no matter how many other friends were out that night.

I didn't really invite her, she asked me what I was doing sunday, I said I'd most likely be at the club, I didn't even know she was there until she texted me asking where I was but she still got peed off that I didn't go.

BTW I also just arranged with her like 20 mins ago to go out for a meal tomorrow lol, I took your advice even before I'd read it.

[Crook]

As for if I have feelings for her, well I don't know, at times I see her as more than a friend then other times as a best bud, I can't seem to define between the two.
Well I think it's clear she's leaving a pretty open door for you to jump through. I'd tread carefully though, as seemingly you aren't even sure if you like her in that way. Make it up to her by "going out" and treating her for the night.

How everything else goes from there, is really what your gut tells you to do. She seems to be fine with leaving the ball in your court.

[Kirmit]

Well I think it's clear she's leaving a pretty open door for you to jump through. I'd tread carefully though, as seemingly you aren't even sure if you like her in that way. Make it up to her by "going out" and treating her for the night.

How everything else goes from there, is really what your gut tells you to do. She seems to be fine with leaving the ball in your court.

Yeah, thanks for the advice mate, just got to sort my head out now if I want more than friendship.

[Superman79]

Thanks :yay:.
No problem. :woot:

Well when we're out she's usually quite touchy feely with me, sitting on my lap or really close to me, putting her hand on my leg, amongst other things, though I usually just take it as messing around. The talk between us is usually humourous but we do talk about serious stuff and alot about sexual things. She also does this weird thing where it looks like she's about to give me a hug but then kind of backs out last minute and strokes my arm instead.

Ok, its possible interest. She ever make any jokes about dating you? She talk about other guys a lot? She ever tell you what a good "friend" you are? Eye contact? Ever 'spoon' with her? Where on your leg does she touch you (knee=buddy, higher=maybe more).

About the club, there were other friends of ours there, so she wasn't alone, I have heard today she moaned alot of the night that I wasn't there.
That is interesting...is she as close to these friends as you are? Or are you closer to her? This could be her concentrating on you (and furthering my theory that she is pissed...do as AF15 said and get her to dinner ASAP...that and it'll be a nice possible romantic moment to do some 'recon').

As for if I have feelings for her, well I don't know, at times I see her as more than a friend then other times as a best bud, I can't seem to define between the two.

If thats the case then if I were you (and this is just me here...others may say different) I'd give it a shot if she wants to date you. They say the best lovers are those you were friends with first...they know your goods and your bads and really truly accept you for who you are...plus there is already good communication which is essential to romance. I've seen many such relationships turn out quite nicely. :up:

[Superman79]

BTW I also just arranged with her like 20 mins ago to go out for a meal tomorrow lol, I took your advice even before I'd read it.

Make sure you go someplace nice...like the Sizzler :oldrazz::cwink:

But seriously...a decent Italian place would work well for you, or better yet...if you can cook, surprise her with a fancy full course home cooked affair...just a thought.

[Kirmit]

Make sure you go someplace nice...like the Sizzler :oldrazz::cwink:

But seriously...a decent Italian place would work well for you, or better yet...if you can cook, surprise her with a fancy full course home cooked affair...just a thought.

I'm a chef lol. We have already arrange to go somewhere but she has invited me round hers on friday aswell, I could offer to cook for her then.

Seriously thanks for all the advice mate, I'm so oblivious as to when a girl likes me I basically have to be in their bed to know lol.

[omid17]

I'm a chef lol. We have already arrange to go somewhere but she has invited me round hers on friday aswell, I could offer to cook for her then.

Seriously thanks for all the advice mate, I'm so oblivious as to when a girl likes me I basically have to be in their bed to know lol.it's better to surprise her imo

[Kirmit]

it's better to surprise her imo

Would love to surprise her but we'll be at her place, I don't have a key or any way to get in without her knowing.

[omid17]

Would love to surprise her but we'll be at her place, I don't have a key or any way to get in without her knowing.i see, don't worry man people learn from their mistakes, im sure you'll do good this time

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Omid, Supes, and Spidey, gear up. We got another cap to bust in this dude's ass:cmad:.

Your friend sounds like she's being a bit over-reactive too (if she actually is blaming you for it). You don't seem to have done anything wrong, and you can't tell someone's feelings to turn off (I apologize now if I didn't read some apparent changes in other posts, I'm too dizzy to read 4 pages:dry:).

You should see the horse pills the doc gave me. Can you say, "HYOOJ?!:wow:"

Anyway, just as I was saying, you can't help the *******'s feelings, but you can help your actions. It seems like you took the right actions, so don't worry. It sounds like this guy's still bent over you, whether it's emotional or physical attraction, we probably won't know 'til he asks you out or for sex.

In either case, remove his pecker:bow:.



aww what are you taking pills for? well i have another update, but i'm actually about to head over to Sara's to talk about everything. so i figure i'll just make a bigger update then. hope to see you here! thanks CS! :heart:

[Hudson]

How will I find love, regards, Lookin'4'luv. :heart:

[Erzengel]

I wanna know what love is?

I know you can show me.

[Kirmit]

I wanna know what love is?

I know you can show me.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v210/kirmit/monkey-1.jpg
That's love :oldrazz:.

[Erzengel]

So love is filthy across species breeding? No thanks. :csad:

[Kirmit]

So love is filthy across species breeding? No thanks. :csad:

How else are they going to create flying monkeys for when they remake the wizard of oz? If they ever should remake it....

[DV8]

That's not true, actually. Colter's a virgin and is saving himself for marrige. That's something that first attracted me to him. He's as spotless in that area as I am. I'm waiting until marrige too. That's one thing I've always wanted in a guy. I don't want to have to worry about catching an STD on my wedding night because the man I married has slept with 5 women before me.

:lmao: Good one!!! :D

[Angel_Faerie]

:lmao: Good one!!! :D

He said so himself in the same speech where he mentioned the mystery girl. I think it was on his myspace page a while back too.

[SpideyVille]

He said so himself in the same speech where he mentioned the mystery girl.

I can't completely doubt that he is and he's saving himself for marriage, because it's possible. But my question is why would he admit that, especially in front of the entire class?

[Angel_Faerie]

I can't completely doubt that he is and he's saving himself for marriage, because it's possible. But my question is why would he admit that, especially in front of the entire class?

*Shrug*

[DV8]

He said so himself in the same speech where he mentioned the mystery girl. I think it was on his myspace page a while back too.

are you sure the assignment didn't call for a fiction piece?? :oldrazz:

[SpideyVille]

are you sure the assignment didn't call for a fiction piece?? :oldrazz:

Seriously though, that's not the kind of thing you would openly and willingly admit, especially in high school when there's so much pressure to be "cool" and have sex right away.

[Angel_Faerie]

Seriously though, that's not the kind of thing you would openly and willingly admit, especially in high school when there's so much pressure to be "cool" and have sex right away.

He never really seemed like the type who cares what others think. But, whatever. I've given up finally and none of this matters anymore.

[Matt Murdock]

So, it's prom season again for all of us little high school tykes. I'm just wondering about a minor technicality regarding asking a girl to the dance as my date. She's recently gotten out of a two and a half year relationship with a guy. He dumped her after a school trip to Italy, totally blindsiding her. Long story short, I'm asking her, but he doesn't know. Should I tell him as a courtesy that I'm planning on taking her? And if so, should I tell him before or after I make a date with the girl?

[SpideyVille]

So, it's prom season again for all of us little high school tykes. I'm just wondering about a minor technicality regarding asking a girl to the dance as my date. She's recently gotten out of a two and a half year relationship with a guy. He dumped her after a school trip to Italy, totally blindsiding her. Long story short, I'm asking her, but he doesn't know. Should I tell him as a courtesy that I'm planning on taking her? And if so, should I tell him before or after I make a date with the girl?

First off, do you know this guy? Is he a friend of yours, or just some random guy that you barely know?

Second, unless he's a good friend of your, I don't really see the point of telling him. I mean, he's the one that dumped her. When he did that, he basically set her free to go out with other people.

Third, even if you were gonna tell him, it's better to secure the date first. Because if he doesn't have a problem with it, then you go and ask her and she says no, you pretty much had the convo with him for nothing.

But in my opinion, just ask her and don't worry about what he thinks. If they're not going out anymore, she's shouldn't mean anything to him.

[DV8]

So, it's prom season again for all of us little high school tykes. I'm just wondering about a minor technicality regarding asking a girl to the dance as my date. She's recently gotten out of a two and a half year relationship with a guy. He dumped her after a school trip to Italy, totally blindsiding her. Long story short, I'm asking her, but he doesn't know. Should I tell him as a courtesy that I'm planning on taking her? And if so, should I tell him before or after I make a date with the girl?

First off, do you know this guy? Is he a friend of yours, or just some random guy that you barely know?

Second, unless he's a good friend of your, I don't really see the point of telling him. I mean, he's the one that dumped her. When he did that, he basically set her free to go out with other people.

Third, even if you were gonna tell him, it's better to secure the date first. Because if he doesn't have a problem with it, then you go and ask her and she says no, you pretty much had the convo with him for nothing.

But in my opinion, just ask her and don't worry about what he thinks. If they're not going out anymore, she's shouldn't mean anything to him.

exactly what SpideyVille said . . . I mean, you're not asking DUDE out on the date Lol!!

plus what if you went through all this trouble to ask the girl out and she doesn't even say yes?? it's not like he owns her . . . so what business does he have in her affairs anymore?

also, keep in mind that she's just gotten out of a long relationship so you pry won't get any :D that, or you'll get the best piece of prom arse EVER!!! :hehe:

[Matt Murdock]

He's a good friend and a teammate.

[DV8]

He's a good friend and a teammate.

ok, yeah . . . that changes things a little . . . I mean, all is fair in love and war but it depends on how close you are to the guy . . . it would be respectful for you to mention it, but not ask his permission . . . more like say "I want you to hear it from me that I plan on asking so and so out, yadda yadda"

that's just how I would roll . . . but be forewarned . . . putting this out there might even make him re-evaluate his feelings for her; he could get jealous and try to renig on the breakup (just from experience I've seen a lot of guys do this kind of thing)

[SpideyVille]

ok, yeah . . . that changes things a little . . . I mean, all is fair in love and war but it depends on how close you are to the guy . . . it would be respectful for you to mention it, but not ask his permission . . . more like say "I want you to hear it from me that I plan on asking so and so out, yadda yadda"

that's just how I would roll . . . but be forewarned . . . putting this out there might even make him re-evaluate his feelings for her; he could get jealous and try to renig on the breakup (just from experience I've seen a lot of guys do this kind of thing)

Yeah, that's exactly why I wouldn't tell him. Chances are this will happen and you definitely won't have the girl as your date. But then again, I'm thinking selfishly :o:oldrazz:

But really, it depends just how close you guys really are. But I still think that if he dumped her, then who she goes with should be none of his business anymore.

[Angel_Faerie]

I just wrote a poem about this whole thing. It's kind of long. I hope you guys like it.

Lonely life
Empty heart
Waiting for my life to start
Going nowhere
Sadness looms
Prayed for something to end the gloom
Went to new class
Brand new Tri
Walked into door
Saw a guy
Beautiful face
Gorgeous eyes
Couldn’t stop staring
Didn’t know why
Felt really happy
Wanted to fly
Felt really daring
Decided to try
Asked him on date
Was denied
Wanted to faint
Sobbed and cried
Asked for help
Freinds obliged
Told me to give up
Said I was blind
I tried to listen
Stayed up and cried
Didn’t want to lose him
Didn’t feel right
Several days later
Guy gives a speech
Mentions a girl
I let out a screech
Heart did a whirl
Thought guy was in reach
Stopped giving up
If just for a while
First time in a week
Had a big smile
Talked to friends again
Told me the same thing
That guy didn’t like me
I listened again
Sobbed and cried
All of Spring Break
Heart full of pain
Soul full of ache
Sat on the couch
Clutching a pillow
Tears flowed down
Just like a willow
Felt dead inside
Just like a ghost
Wanted to hide
Missed him the most
Wanting to die
Drowning in a tear-filled moat
Pining for the guy
In the robot covered coat.
Starting to heal
Breathing again
Know I’ll find love
Only question is, when?

[DV8]

I just wrote a poem about this whole thing. It's kind of long. I hope you guys like it.

Lonely life
Empty heart
Waiting for my life to start
Going nowhere
Sadness looms
Prayed for something to end the gloom
Went to new class
Brand new Tri
Walked into door
Saw a guy
Beautiful face
Gorgeous eyes
Couldn’t stop staring
Didn’t know why
Felt really happy
Wanted to fly
Felt really daring
Decided to try
Asked him on date
Was denied
Wanted to faint
Sobbed and cried
Asked for help
Freinds obliged
Told me to give up
Said I was blind
I tried to listen
Stayed up and cried
Didn’t want to lose him
Didn’t feel right
Several days later
Guy gives a speech
Mentions a girl
I let out a screech
Heart did a whirl
Thought guy was in reach
Stopped giving up
If just for a while
First time in a week
Had a big smile
Talked to friends again
Told me the same thing
That guy didn’t like me
I listened again
Sobbed and cried
All of Spring Break
Heart full of pain
Soul full of ache
Sat on the couch
Clutching a pillow
Tears flowed down
Just like a willow
Felt dead inside
Just like a ghost
Wanted to hide
Missed him the most
Wanting to die
Drowning in a tear-filled moat
Pining for the guy
In the robot covered coat.
Starting to heal
Breathing again
Know I’ll find love
Only question is, when?

I'm glad you got it out of your system . . . now hopefully you can let it go, buddy . . . :(

seriously . . . I don't mean to belittle you, but you hardly know the guy; don't sell youself short, homegirl

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Angel_Faerie, i like your poem it's very creative! and i agree with DV8 good to get it out of your system. it due time you'll be able to move on just fine. give it time, because love as well as even finding the right person takes a lot of patience.

Any guys, there are some men who actually do plan to wait until marriage. to be honest with you, i don't know why or how they could withstand, but it happens. now this will completely contradict what i just said, but i dated a guy once who wanted to wait, and i "teased" him from time to time and one day he just wanted to...... do it. kinda surprising, but we did not because of many reasons that are irrelevant.

* anyways, so i've been having this on-going issue with my friend Sara and her boyfriend Kyle. well today i went over to Sara's because she wanted to come up with some "plan" to expose how Kyle feels. she doesn't seem mad or upset with me anymore, but just a little bugged. i guess i would be too. well the plan she came up with was for me to get Kyle to tell me how he feels and what he wants. she wants me to do this in any way possible. so like flirting with him is okay, even as much as kissing is okay. and she's being really serious about that which is ridiculous in my opinion. but she really wants me to find out. so i guess since i love her, that i will but i'm not sure how to get him to "reveal" to me what he really wants. no way i'm kissing that freak.

basically they are on a break and apparently he doesn't like me anymore or even enough to jeopardize what he has/wants with Sara. now she wants me to basically seduce him, and if he doesn't want anything with me, then life is good. but if he let's say breaks up with her to date/**** me, which i will not do anyway, then she'll know and sleep easier. i will say that i'm very scared to do this. he came to my locker today and told me he wanted to talk but i said i had to go. i've been giving him the cold shoulder but not enough to where he may think i'm mad at him. even though i kinda am. i don't wanna just be a ***** one day and the next "all over him" so i can figure this out for Sara. goodness.

[Ray-Fu]

Angel_Faerie, i like your poem it's very creative! and i agree with DV8 good to get it out of your system. it due time you'll be able to move on just fine. give it time, because love as well as even finding the right person takes a lot of patience.

Any guys, there are some men who actually do plan to wait until marriage. to be honest with you, i don't know why or how they could withstand, but it happens. now this will completely contradict what i just said, but i dated a guy once who wanted to wait, and i "teased" him from time to time and one day he just wanted to...... do it. kinda surprising, but we did not because of many reasons that are irrelevant.

* anyways, so i've been having this on-going issue with my friend Sara and her boyfriend Kyle. well today i went over to Sara's because she wanted to come up with some "plan" to expose how Kyle feels. she doesn't seem mad or upset with me anymore, but just a little bugged. i guess i would be too. well the plan she came up with was for me to get Kyle to tell me how he feels and what he wants. she wants me to do this in any way possible. so like flirting with him is okay, even as much as kissing is okay. and she's being really serious about that which is ridiculous in my opinion. but she really wants me to find out. so i guess since i love her, that i will but i'm not sure how to get him to "reveal" to me what he really wants. no way i'm kissing that freak.

basically they are on a break and apparently he doesn't like me anymore or even enough to jeopardize what he has/wants with Sara. now she wants me to basically seduce him, and if he doesn't want anything with me, then life is good. but if he let's say breaks up with her to date/**** me, which i will not do anyway, then she'll know and sleep easier. i will say that i'm very scared to do this. he came to my locker today and told me he wanted to talk but i said i had to go. i've been giving him the cold shoulder but not enough to where he may think i'm mad at him. even though i kinda am. i don't wanna just be a ***** one day and the next "all over him" so i can figure this out for Sara. goodness.


I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole...that is just asking for all sorts of trouble...even for a friend that I dearly love...you also might want to think about your own reputation too. Just a thought...

[Superman79]

He's a good friend and a teammate.

If you're very close tell him first, odds are (if you are that close) he'll be cool with it.

If you're not close and more like acquaintances ask her first. It's always easier to ask forgiveness than permission. :o

[Superman79]

Angel_Faerie, i like your poem it's very creative! and i agree with DV8 good to get it out of your system. it due time you'll be able to move on just fine. give it time, because love as well as even finding the right person takes a lot of patience.

Any guys, there are some men who actually do plan to wait until marriage. to be honest with you, i don't know why or how they could withstand, but it happens. now this will completely contradict what i just said, but i dated a guy once who wanted to wait, and i "teased" him from time to time and one day he just wanted to...... do it. kinda surprising, but we did not because of many reasons that are irrelevant.

* anyways, so i've been having this on-going issue with my friend Sara and her boyfriend Kyle. well today i went over to Sara's because she wanted to come up with some "plan" to expose how Kyle feels. she doesn't seem mad or upset with me anymore, but just a little bugged. i guess i would be too. well the plan she came up with was for me to get Kyle to tell me how he feels and what he wants. she wants me to do this in any way possible. so like flirting with him is okay, even as much as kissing is okay. and she's being really serious about that which is ridiculous in my opinion. but she really wants me to find out. so i guess since i love her, that i will but i'm not sure how to get him to "reveal" to me what he really wants. no way i'm kissing that freak.

basically they are on a break and apparently he doesn't like me anymore or even enough to jeopardize what he has/wants with Sara. now she wants me to basically seduce him, and if he doesn't want anything with me, then life is good. but if he let's say breaks up with her to date/**** me, which i will not do anyway, then she'll know and sleep easier. i will say that i'm very scared to do this. he came to my locker today and told me he wanted to talk but i said i had to go. i've been giving him the cold shoulder but not enough to where he may think i'm mad at him. even though i kinda am. i don't wanna just be a ***** one day and the next "all over him" so i can figure this out for Sara. goodness.

As your attorney in this matter I veto this plan with a resounding: NO

This kind of 'wacky plan' NEVER works and only leads to all kinds of hurt feelings, confusion, and ultimately, never tells you what you wanted to find out in the first place.

Talk to Sara. Have her rethink things a bit on this plan, and basically, encourage her to be frank with this guy. IF he really is all about her and she's the one he wants, then she should demand the honest damned truth...110% of it, and if he's not willing to deliver, then its his ass.

Frankly, I don't know why this guy would even have pics of you handy at all and his little excuse seems suspect. BUT I don't know him and can't vouch for his honesty, his plans, or his apparent lack of intelligence.

Once again, I would urge you gals to reconsider this plan...I have seen dozens of similar plans go very very wrong, and none of them ever went right (and this is in college where often more than just kissing was involved). If this scares you, it should...you could be doing something that won't end well.

DO. NOT. DO THIS. Trust me. :o

[Remy LeBeau X3]

yea i really do not like the plan. i didn't tell her i was for sure gonna do it, because well i don't wanna approach it like that for one, and then also because it just doesn't seem like it'll work. i will talk to her tomorrow for sure about all this before any plan is put into motion. thanks!

[Gilpesh]

For the sake of our amusement though... you should definitely go through with that plan and come back here and update us on what happens through each phase.

[amazingfantasy15]

yea i really do not like the plan. i didn't tell her i was for sure gonna do it, because well i don't wanna approach it like that for one, and then also because it just doesn't seem like it'll work. i will talk to her tomorrow for sure about all this before any plan is put into motion. thanks!

Life is not a sitcom, this will only end badly.

[Hoojibs]

Come and knock on my door......

[DV8]

As your attorney in this matter I veto this plan with a resounding: NO

This kind of 'wacky plan' NEVER works and only leads to all kinds of hurt feelings, confusion, and ultimately, never tells you what you wanted to find out in the first place.

Talk to Sara. Have her rethink things a bit on this plan, and basically, encourage her to be frank with this guy. IF he really is all about her and she's the one he wants, then she should demand the honest damned truth...110% of it, and if he's not willing to deliver, then its his ass.

Frankly, I don't know why this guy would even have pics of you handy at all and his little excuse seems suspect. BUT I don't know him and can't vouch for his honesty, his plans, or his apparent lack of intelligence.

Once again, I would urge you gals to reconsider this plan...I have seen dozens of similar plans go very very wrong, and none of them ever went right (and this is in college where often more than just kissing was involved). If this scares you, it should...you could be doing something that won't end well.

DO. NOT. DO THIS. Trust me. :o


yea i really do not like the plan. i didn't tell her i was for sure gonna do it, because well i don't wanna approach it like that for one, and then also because it just doesn't seem like it'll work. i will talk to her tomorrow for sure about all this before any plan is put into motion. thanks!

For the sake of our amusement though... you should definitely go through with that plan and come back here and update us on what happens through each phase.

Life is not a sitcom, this will only end badly.

:pal: Lol!! yeah, seriously . . . not a good idea :brucebat:

[SpideyVille]

Life is not a sitcom, this will only end badly.

Come and knock on my door......

:pal: ... sadly, that very true :csad:


Ok, I need some advice. I'm 19, never had a girlfriend or even been kissed, mainly because of my shyness and fell of being uncomfortable around most people. I've had some pretty bad experiences during my high school and middle school years, but I've tried to learn from them and not make the same mistakes. So over the past year I've decided to stop trying to get a girlfriend and just live my life on my own without care. For the most part that's worked out really well and I've been the happiest I've ever been. But now, I recently started college, and there was this one girl I thought was really pretty, but i think she had a boyfriend at the time, so I used that as my reason to not even think about her.

But a few weeks ago, I went to the Saturday night showing of a school play I had to see for HW. I didn't expect to see anybody from my class there, but there were two, the girl and her friend. Because I was shy, I never talked to anyone in my class, but I decided to go up to them and we talked and we saw the play together and stuff. A couple of days later I friended this girl on facebook. Now I hate these sites and know they don't do crap for trying to develop a relationship with someone, so I wasn't expecting much. The next day she commented on a pic of mine, so i returned the favor by commenting on hers, which was a pic of Storm that she drew. It started off as a simple comment just saying that I liked how the drawing, but after we kept replying to each other's comments, the topic of what we talked about changed from the drawing, to about ourselves, our fear, likes and dislikes etc. . We never really talked much in class during this time, but I've started to see myself changing from who I am now, to who I was in high school in terms of falling quickly for a girl and being all depressed just because I didn't get her or something went wrong. So I've been trying to convince myself I don't like her even though deep down I pretty much do.

Then, last week one of my teachers gave me specifically an assignment to check the school's art gallery because he knows that I'm gonna be an art major, and after postponing it for a while, I decided to go. But I decided to ask this same girl first if she wanted to come because she's interested in art too. She said yea, so we went, looked at some stuff for a while then left. Then I walked her to the bus stop and we started talking about things in general like family and ourselves, sort of like getting to know each better. It was pretty much the first real conversation we had together, at least alone together because I've talked to her a few times before during group convos. I tried to make sure I didn't do or say anything dumb like in my previous experiences. The bus finally came after 10-15 mins and she got on it and left, while I walked home.

So now it's pretty much like we know each other and I feel really comfortable enough to talk to her, or at least not when her friends are with her. I also think I'm starting to like her even more, but I'm still not sure if it's a good idea because things have been going pretty good before this whole thing. But at the same time I feel like I should try to pursue her. But even if i do that, I don't know where to go from here. I mean I wanna avoid the dreaded 'friend zone', which I hope I'm not falling into, but I don't know really know how to act. I want her to know that I like her and i'm interested in more than just a friendship, but at the same time i don't want her to know and start acting weird in the event that she doesn't feel the same about me.

So yea, this is pretty much my little issue, and I'd really appreciate some advice.

[Hoojibs]

You can't have your cake or eat it to.

You want to be friends with her? Be friends with her.

If you prefer to be more, than pursue her.

Easiest way is just to ask her out. There a movie she wants to see? Say, I'll take you to that movie this weekend.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Come and knock on my door......

i came by this morning but no one answered. so why what are you gonna do?





lol alright so i told Sara i don't like the plan. she is trying to think of other ways but still wants me to go with plan A, or plan crap. Kyle came up to me today and said he really wanted to talk, and i told him not now and gave him a wink. why? i'm not sure, maybe because all the crap plan talk got to me. but that's it, nothing else, and i still don't wanna do it. but so far that's all that really happened. Kyle called me once after i got home, but i didn't answer.

[Hoojibs]

Sorry this is too Saved by the Bell for my tastes. :o

[Superman79]

So now it's pretty much like we know each other and I feel really comfortable enough to talk to her, or at least not when her friends are with her. I also think I'm starting to like her even more, but I'm still not sure if it's a good idea because things have been going pretty good before this whole thing. But at the same time I feel like I should try to pursue her. But even if i do that, I don't know where to go from here. I mean I wanna avoid the dreaded 'friend zone', which I hope I'm not falling into, but I don't know really know how to act. I want her to know that I like her and i'm interested in more than just a friendship, but at the same time i don't want her to know and start acting weird in the event that she doesn't feel the same about me.

So yea, this is pretty much my little issue, and I'd really appreciate some advice.

Ok, so you've talked some, and you feel you're both comfortable, so ASK HER OUT.

It doesn't have to be a big 'dinner and dancing' type thing...just go grab coffee and go bowling. You both like art, grab some ice cream and go to a museum. Find ways to go have fun with her and get to know her even better. Thats the next logical progression.

As for your fears (here comes the tough love) suck it up and grow a pair. If she's single, and seems to enjoy your company, there is no reason to believe this is gonna go south or that you're gonna **** up. Take a chance...like the old saying goes "fortune favors the bold". If you sit on your ass and hope for things to happen, guess what? You end up dying on your couch. If you get up and take a chance, it may go great, it may go sour, but you have to TRY in order to find out for sure. If it does go south, then hey, it stings but you tried and you learned from it for the next time.

You'll never get through life without getting your share of emotional bumps and bruises, and if you do, then clearly you've a very empty life. Take a chance, grab the bull by the horns and ask her out.

When asking: Be specific about where, when and what. Basically 'tell' her you are taking her out, it reflects confidence:
You: "So you have plans for this weekend?"
Her: "No, not really."
You: "Good, because I'm gonna pick you up on Saturday and you're coming with me to see *blah blah* exhibit / your coming bowling with me / we're going swing dancing /insert activity"
Her: "Ok, great"

It's not perfect, but theres the jist. Just step up to the plate and take a swing buddy, because you'll never hit a home run if you don't get out of the dugout.

[amazingfantasy15]

:pal: ... sadly, that very true :csad:


Ok, I need some advice. I'm 19, never had a girlfriend or even been kissed, mainly because of my shyness and fell of being uncomfortable around most people. I've had some pretty bad experiences during my high school and middle school years, but I've tried to learn from them and not make the same mistakes. So over the past year I've decided to stop trying to get a girlfriend and just live my life on my own without care. For the most part that's worked out really well and I've been the happiest I've ever been. But now, I recently started college, and there was this one girl I thought was really pretty, but i think she had a boyfriend at the time, so I used that as my reason to not even think about her.

But a few weeks ago, I went to the Saturday night showing of a school play I had to see for HW. I didn't expect to see anybody from my class there, but there were two, the girl and her friend. Because I was shy, I never talked to anyone in my class, but I decided to go up to them and we talked and we saw the play together and stuff. A couple of days later I friended this girl on facebook. Now I hate these sites and know they don't do crap for trying to develop a relationship with someone, so I wasn't expecting much. The next day she commented on a pic of mine, so i returned the favor by commenting on hers, which was a pic of Storm that she drew. It started off as a simple comment just saying that I liked how the drawing, but after we kept replying to each other's comments, the topic of what we talked about changed from the drawing, to about ourselves, our fear, likes and dislikes etc. . We never really talked much in class during this time, but I've started to see myself changing from who I am now, to who I was in high school in terms of falling quickly for a girl and being all depressed just because I didn't get her or something went wrong. So I've been trying to convince myself I don't like her even though deep down I pretty much do.

Then, last week one of my teachers gave me specifically an assignment to check the school's art gallery because he knows that I'm gonna be an art major, and after postponing it for a while, I decided to go. But I decided to ask this same girl first if she wanted to come because she's interested in art too. She said yea, so we went, looked at some stuff for a while then left. Then I walked her to the bus stop and we started talking about things in general like family and ourselves, sort of like getting to know each better. It was pretty much the first real conversation we had together, at least alone together because I've talked to her a few times before during group convos. I tried to make sure I didn't do or say anything dumb like in my previous experiences. The bus finally came after 10-15 mins and she got on it and left, while I walked home.

So now it's pretty much like we know each other and I feel really comfortable enough to talk to her, or at least not when her friends are with her. I also think I'm starting to like her even more, but I'm still not sure if it's a good idea because things have been going pretty good before this whole thing. But at the same time I feel like I should try to pursue her. But even if i do that, I don't know where to go from here. I mean I wanna avoid the dreaded 'friend zone', which I hope I'm not falling into, but I don't know really know how to act. I want her to know that I like her and i'm interested in more than just a friendship, but at the same time i don't want her to know and start acting weird in the event that she doesn't feel the same about me.

So yea, this is pretty much my little issue, and I'd really appreciate some advice.

What's the next step? Asking her out on a date or another date, since the art exhibit could have been interpreted as a date. Dinner, movie, something else, whatever you college kids do for dates.

[Hoojibs]

Supes just totally stole my spiel. :cmad:

[Superman79]

So now it's pretty much like we know each other and I feel really comfortable enough to talk to her, or at least not when her friends are with her. I also think I'm starting to like her even more, but I'm still not sure if it's a good idea because things have been going pretty good before this whole thing. But at the same time I feel like I should try to pursue her. But even if i do that, I don't know where to go from here. I mean I wanna avoid the dreaded 'friend zone', which I hope I'm not falling into, but I don't know really know how to act. I want her to know that I like her and i'm interested in more than just a friendship, but at the same time i don't want her to know and start acting weird in the event that she doesn't feel the same about me.

So yea, this is pretty much my little issue, and I'd really appreciate some advice.

Ok, so you've talked some, and you feel you're both comfortable, so ASK HER OUT.

It doesn't have to be a big 'dinner and dancing' type thing...just go grab coffee and go bowling. You both like art, grab some ice cream and go to a museum. Find ways to go have fun with her and get to know her even better. Thats the next logical progression.

As for your fears (here comes the tough love) suck it up and grow a pair. If she's single, and seems to enjoy your company, there is no reason to believe this is gonna go south or that you're gonna **** up. Take a chance...like the old saying goes "fortune favors the bold". If you sit on your ass and hope for things to happen, guess what? You end up dying on your couch. If you get up and take a chance, it may go great, it may go sour, but you have to TRY in order to find out for sure. If it does go south, then hey, it stings but you tried and you learned from it for the next time.

You'll never get through life without getting your share of emotional bumps and bruises, and if you do, then clearly you've a very empty life. Take a chance, grab the bull by the horns and ask her out.

When asking: Be specific about where, when and what. Basically 'tell' her you are taking her out, it reflects confidence:
You: "So you have plans for this weekend?"
Her: "No, not really."
You: "Good, because I'm gonna pick you up on Saturday and you're coming with me to see *blah blah* exhibit / your coming bowling with me / we're going swing dancing /insert activity"
Her: "Ok, great"

It's not perfect, but theres the jist. Just step up to the plate and take a swing buddy, because you'll never hit a home run if you don't get out of the dugout.


***This message endorsed by Erzengel

[Superman79]

Supes just totally stole my spiel. :cmad:

Stole it?? Baby, I invented it :o

[Hoojibs]

I was banging broads when you were still slow dancing in Jr. High School. :cmad:

[Superman79]

"For what is dancing but making love set to music playin'?" -FS


:D

[Hoojibs]

Regardless, at least add me to the footnote. :huh:

[Superman79]

added.

[Trainwreck2100]

:pal: ... sadly, that very true :csad:


Ok, I need some advice. I'm 19, never had a girlfriend or even been kissed, mainly because of my shyness and fell of being uncomfortable around most people. I've had some pretty bad experiences during my high school and middle school years, but I've tried to learn from them and not make the same mistakes. So over the past year I've decided to stop trying to get a girlfriend and just live my life on my own without care. For the most part that's worked out really well and I've been the happiest I've ever been. But now, I recently started college, and there was this one girl I thought was really pretty, but i think she had a boyfriend at the time, so I used that as my reason to not even think about her.

But a few weeks ago, I went to the Saturday night showing of a school play I had to see for HW. I didn't expect to see anybody from my class there, but there were two, the girl and her friend. Because I was shy, I never talked to anyone in my class, but I decided to go up to them and we talked and we saw the play together and stuff. A couple of days later I friended this girl on facebook. Now I hate these sites and know they don't do crap for trying to develop a relationship with someone, so I wasn't expecting much. The next day she commented on a pic of mine, so i returned the favor by commenting on hers, which was a pic of Storm that she drew. It started off as a simple comment just saying that I liked how the drawing, but after we kept replying to each other's comments, the topic of what we talked about changed from the drawing, to about ourselves, our fear, likes and dislikes etc. . We never really talked much in class during this time, but I've started to see myself changing from who I am now, to who I was in high school in terms of falling quickly for a girl and being all depressed just because I didn't get her or something went wrong. So I've been trying to convince myself I don't like her even though deep down I pretty much do.

Then, last week one of my teachers gave me specifically an assignment to check the school's art gallery because he knows that I'm gonna be an art major, and after postponing it for a while, I decided to go. But I decided to ask this same girl first if she wanted to come because she's interested in art too. She said yea, so we went, looked at some stuff for a while then left. Then I walked her to the bus stop and we started talking about things in general like family and ourselves, sort of like getting to know each better. It was pretty much the first real conversation we had together, at least alone together because I've talked to her a few times before during group convos. I tried to make sure I didn't do or say anything dumb like in my previous experiences. The bus finally came after 10-15 mins and she got on it and left, while I walked home.

So now it's pretty much like we know each other and I feel really comfortable enough to talk to her, or at least not when her friends are with her. I also think I'm starting to like her even more, but I'm still not sure if it's a good idea because things have been going pretty good before this whole thing. But at the same time I feel like I should try to pursue her. But even if i do that, I don't know where to go from here. I mean I wanna avoid the dreaded 'friend zone', which I hope I'm not falling into, but I don't know really know how to act. I want her to know that I like her and i'm interested in more than just a friendship, but at the same time i don't want her to know and start acting weird in the event that she doesn't feel the same about me.

So yea, this is pretty much my little issue, and I'd really appreciate some advice.

You've already talked to her, and that's half the battle right there so ask her out for a movie and get coffee afterwards.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

for those who have followed my situation so far, **** has hit the fan! well, a lot of people at school know generally about what is going on. The basic fact that Sara and Kyle are on a break and because he may still like me. well one of my guy friends heard about the situation in detail from Sara and he told me he'd help. he usually kids around but he actually did something. i guess he put the idea, or rumor in Kyle's head that i wouldn't date or talk to him unless he was single. i don't know if Sara told him to do it, but i just heard from someone else that my guy did that. i freaked out because at first i thought he was just doing it not thinking about what he was saying, but actually turns out that Sara did have a say in it. i like how i'm not consulted. but anyway, Kyle met with Sara after school today and broke up with her. about an hour later when i was with her, he called me. he left me this long voice mail saying that he still had feelings for me, sorry he hurt my friend, how much he cares and wants to be with me, stuff like that. Sara was a bit pissed, and i can see why. she was telling me that she had an idea that he may have been trying to "use" her to get to me. so lame, and what a wasted attempt.

so tomorrow i will probably tell him off when i see him, and Sara is in the depressed state. :csad: i know she is upset about everything, but she is sort of mad at me too. she claims that she isn't, but i know she bugged and what not. i feel really sorry for her.

i'm sorry but why are most guys so..... ignorant? i'm either just meat or the reason why my friends don't like their boyfriends to be around me. i know this is the first case you've read about me in this situation but something similar, but not nearly to this extent, has happened before.

[Hoojibs]

added.

Uh...this message founded by Erzengel. :cmad:

[Superman79]

Uh...this message founded by Erzengel. :cmad:

Sorry, I wasn't sure if it was kosher to use your real identity whilst you were 'april fooled':o

[Superman79]

for those who have followed my situation so far, **** has hit the fan! well, a lot of people at school know generally about what is going on. The basic fact that Sara and Kyle are on a break and because he may still like me. well one of my guy friends heard about the situation in detail from Sara and he told me he'd help. he usually kids around but he actually did something. i guess he put the idea, or rumor in Kyle's head that i wouldn't date or talk to him unless he was single. i don't know if Sara told him to do it, but i just heard from someone else that my guy did that. i freaked out because at first i thought he was just doing it not thinking about what he was saying, but actually turns out that Sara did have a say in it. i like how i'm not consulted. but anyway, Kyle met with Sara after school today and broke up with her. about an hour later when i was with her, he called me. he left me this long voice mail saying that he still had feelings for me, sorry he hurt my friend, how much he cares and wants to be with me, stuff like that. Sara was a bit pissed, and i can see why. she was telling me that she had an idea that he may have been trying to "use" her to get to me. so lame, and what a wasted attempt.

so tomorrow i will probably tell him off when i see him, and Sara is in the depressed state. :csad: i know she is upset about everything, but she is sort of mad at me too. she claims that she isn't, but i know she bugged and what not. i feel really sorry for her.

The best thing you can do now is tell Kyle to **** off, and be there for Sara.

I'm sorry this happened, but in the end its for the best for Sara, as she should be with someone who genuinely cares for her. Just be there for her and help her through.



i'm sorry but why are most guys so..... ignorant? i'm either just meat or the reason why my friends don't like their boyfriends to be around me. i know this is the first case you've read about me in this situation but something similar, but not nearly to this extent, has happened before.

Ok, so if this is a recurring thing for you, you need to join a convent. Now.

Kidding, but all jokes aside, you can't help it that right now you are dealing with the wrong type of guys. I can only say that not all men are like that, and hopefully in college (actually, quite likely in college) you and Sara will meet the right kind of guys who will treat you right and be the men you've dreamed of. For now I'd say just stick with your girlfriends and help Sara through her issue. Oh, and look into putting a hit out on that douche Kyle. :o

[Dkim]

Oke, here it goes.............


I'm telling in short so:
I went to school (I know very interesting :whatever:) and I saw him before my classes so I told him I got to speak to you, so after classes we went somewhere and talked and about 10 minutes later It popped out and I just asked Do you like me? (very subtle I know) so he said what do you mean? well I responded do you like,like me? He said yes a little so I asked why? and blah blah you know how it goes so a little but futher I responded I'm sorry I don't like you I mean a love you but just as a friend and besides there are plently of other girls more nicer and everything than me. So I gave him a hug and asked we're still as good as friends as we are right? He said ofcourse and we kind of departed of there.

But at night I heard from one of my friends that after the talk we had he was kind of frustated and all and I just felt very bad you know I mean it was over and done but I still hurt him :csad:

Back at school it was first a little bit akward but thats normal and then after a while it felt back to normal for me atleast dont know bout him but anyway I hope that everything works out....


Must say it is a relieve:yay:

[SpideyVille]

Ok, so you've talked some, and you feel you're both comfortable, so ASK HER OUT.
Well that's the thing. I can't vouch for how comfortable she was. She could have been very comfortable, but then again she could've been very uncomfortable. I really don't know.

It doesn't have to be a big 'dinner and dancing' type thing...just go grab coffee and go bowling. You both like art, grab some ice cream and go to a museum. Find ways to go have fun with her and get to know her even better. Thats the next logical progression.Well there's some play we can see at my school for extra credit. It's on a Thursday night and we don't have class the next day. But I don't like that idea because I feel there's limited time to talk before and after the play.

As for your fears (here comes the tough love) suck it up and grow a pair. If she's single, and seems to enjoy your company, there is no reason to believe this is gonna go south or that you're gonna **** up. Take a chance...like the old saying goes "fortune favors the bold". If you sit on your ass and hope for things to happen, guess what? You end up dying on your couch. If you get up and take a chance, it may go great, it may go sour, but you have to TRY in order to find out for sure. If it does go south, then hey, it stings but you tried and you learned from it for the next time.

You'll never get through life without getting your share of emotional bumps and bruises, and if you do, then clearly you've a very empty life. Take a chance, grab the bull by the horns and ask her out. My fear isn't really about asking or taking a chance, because I've done this before, only I haven't really gotten this far. I usually screw up by this point. But yeah, I know what you're saying. I mean if I was willing to take the chance by asking her today and have it pay off, then why shouldn't I do it again.

My only concerns though are timing and friends. I have yet to find a way to get past a girl's friends just so I could talk to her alone. And I always feel like timing is important. I mean I waited and let a few opportunities pass by today, but eventually things worked out and I had a chance to ask her. The problem is, these opportunities don't come up all the time and second chances are really rare.

When asking: Be specific about where, when and what. Basically 'tell' her you are taking her out, it reflects confidence:
You: "So you have plans for this weekend?"
Her: "No, not really."
You: "Good, because I'm gonna pick you up on Saturday and you're coming with me to see *blah blah* exhibit / your coming bowling with me / we're going swing dancing /insert activity"
Her: "Ok, great"lol, I had a friend who was always like this with me. I used to hate him because he always made it work on me. But what if she doesn't respond well to this? Because i shows confidence, but it also seems a bit forceful.

It's not perfect, but theres the jist. Just step up to the plate and take a swing buddy, because you'll never hit a home run if you don't get out of the dugout.Yeah I know what you mean. It's just that for me I've been in a long slump lately. Everytime I get out of the dugout I wind up Striking out. I'm not worried about a homerun, I just want to get on base.


***This message endorsed by HoojibsLOL :up:


But thanks man, I'll definitely keep all this in mind when I see her tomorrow. :up:

[Remy LeBeau X3]

The best thing you can do now is tell Kyle to **** off, and be there for Sara.

I'm sorry this happened, but in the end its for the best for Sara, as she should be with someone who genuinely cares for her. Just be there for her and help her through.

Ok, so if this is a recurring thing for you, you need to join a convent. Now.

Kidding, but all jokes aside, you can't help it that right now you are dealing with the wrong type of guys. I can only say that not all men are like that, and hopefully in college (actually, quite likely in college) you and Sara will meet the right kind of guys who will treat you right and be the men you've dreamed of. For now I'd say just stick with your girlfriends and help Sara through her issue. Oh, and look into putting a hit out on that douche Kyle. :o

haha yea maybe i do need to join a convent! unfortunately Kyle has called me again today but no voicemail this time. he texted me "please answer because i wanna explain" and i texted him "i really don't want or need you to, so please just drop it" i really wanted to go off, but Sara asked that i just leave him. i have been talking to her and i think she is feeling at least a little better. so hopefully all will be good. i am really trying to be there as much as i can, but i can see how frustrating it is for her when her comforter is the reason she's not with who she wants to be. :csad: i so hope guys in college are better. i'll take your word for it! thanks for the advice!

i suppose i'll just be back with more about my friend now sometime soon. man i'm havin all kinds of problems i'm gonna become the troubled girl of this thread!

Oke, here it goes.............


I'm telling in short so:
I went to school (I know very interesting :whatever:) and I saw him before my classes so I told him I got to speak to you, so after classes we went somewhere and talked and about 10 minutes later It popped out and I just asked Do you like me? (very subtle I know) so he said what do you mean? well I responded do you like,like me? He said yes a little so I asked why? and blah blah you know how it goes so a little but futher I responded I'm sorry I don't like you I mean a love you but just as a friend and besides there are plently of other girls more nicer and everything than me. So I gave him a hug and asked we're still as good as friends as we are right? He said ofcourse and we kind of departed of there.

But at night I heard from one of my friends that after the talk we had he was kind of frustated and all and I just felt very bad you know I mean it was over and done but I still hurt him :csad:

Back at school it was first a little bit akward but thats normal and then after a while it felt back to normal for me atleast dont know bout him but anyway I hope that everything works out....


Must say it is a relieve:yay:

oh man, well hey i'm glad it worked out for you! i'm sure he's ok by the way it seems, if you two can just be subtle then it should be good. not to make you feel bad, but i'm thinking the reason why he said a little, was because you might have caught him off guard and he probably didn't want to admit completely but knew you caught on, so that's what he had. :csad: but i'm sure that he'll get over it. im glad it's a relief! now i suppose it's my turn. i think i'm gonna have a similar talk here soon. and with all the current drama... ugh, definitely not looking forward to it, but at least it'll also be a relief. i hope all works out for the best! you've inspired me to have this talk! :heart:

[Ray-Fu]

Oke, here it goes.............


I'm telling in short so:
I went to school (I know very interesting :whatever:) and I saw him before my classes so I told him I got to speak to you, so after classes we went somewhere and talked and about 10 minutes later It popped out and I just asked Do you like me? (very subtle I know) so he said what do you mean? well I responded do you like,like me? He said yes a little so I asked why? and blah blah you know how it goes so a little but futher I responded I'm sorry I don't like you I mean a love you but just as a friend and besides there are plently of other girls more nicer and everything than me. So I gave him a hug and asked we're still as good as friends as we are right? He said ofcourse and we kind of departed of there.

But at night I heard from one of my friends that after the talk we had he was kind of frustated and all and I just felt very bad you know I mean it was over and done but I still hurt him :csad:

Back at school it was first a little bit akward but thats normal and then after a while it felt back to normal for me atleast dont know bout him but anyway I hope that everything works out....


Must say it is a relieve:yay:

Good on you for doing that :) It's better to put a stop to it then to drag it out and get the poor guy's hopes up. If you're as tight as you say you are with him, I'm sure thinsg will be ok.

Now I'm gonna go back and scream at my tv :( My poor hockey team isn;t doing so well *sniffles..

[Superman79]

Well that's the thing. I can't vouch for how comfortable she was. She could have been very comfortable, but then again she could've been very uncomfortable. I really don't know.

So ask her to just 'hang out' a little, keep things light and just chat...at lunch or walking from class to class or something.

Well there's some play we can see at my school for extra credit. It's on a Thursday night and we don't have class the next day. But I don't like that idea because I feel there's limited time to talk before and after the play.

No class the next day!?!?! No time!?!??! You're in freaking college!!!! :cmad:
Sorry...anyway, ask her to grab coffee after since you have no class the next day...get the coffee and go for a walk under the stars on campus...you'd be amazed how girls open up at night on long walks... :up:

My fear isn't really about asking or taking a chance, because I've done this before, only I haven't really gotten this far. I usually screw up by this point. But yeah, I know what you're saying. I mean if I was willing to take the chance by asking her today and have it pay off, then why shouldn't I do it again.

Don't make me slap you :dry:
You can only screw up if you plan to. Think positive. Did you play football in high school? One thing my coach always said: "Before you can ever make the big tackle or get the big run, you have to visualize it, embrace it, and know when the time comes you're gonna succeed. If you go negative, then you're doomed to fail because you've already blocked yourself, and you've already tripped..."
See yourself succeeding with this girl, and it will come. Trust me.
"Play like you're positive on the victory, even though they're leading big now." -Knute Rockne

My only concerns though are timing and friends. I have yet to find a way to get past a girl's friends just so I could talk to her alone. And I always feel like timing is important. I mean I waited and let a few opportunities pass by today, but eventually things worked out and I had a chance to ask her. The problem is, these opportunities don't come up all the time and second chances are really rare.

So go to the play with her (friends may tag, no big deal) see if you can get her out after alone. If not, no biggie. Thing is to make the most of ANY time you have with her. Be charming, be funny, be yourself. Get to know her, get to know the friends (if they are there...and remember, her friends are her first line of defense from a guy, and if they LIKE you, they can also be your biggest ally...Think: "Oh that nice guy Spidey asked you out?!? I think hes fun, you should go!") The important thing is to get to know her well enough that you can ASK HER OUT. THAT is the time you can guarantee being alone with her. It's not rare at all, its just called a DATE. :cwink:

lol, I had a friend who was always like this with me. I used to hate him because he always made it work on me. But what if she doesn't respond well to this? Because i shows confidence, but it also seems a bit forceful.

So pull back a bit...instead of saying "So then I'm gonna take you ________" go with " So what do you say we go ___________"...just make sure you say it like its a foregone conclusion. Its not forcefull as it is confident and in charge...women like to know you know how to act like a man and can take charge. Either one works as long as you deliver it right.
*Caveat: DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT ask: "You wanna go out sometime?" It is whiney, it is wishy-washy, it is spineless, it is vague...DO NOT ask like that.

As for being like this, well, we've found it works best to get people to listen.

Yeah I know what you mean. It's just that for me I've been in a long slump lately. Everytime I get out of the dugout I wind up Striking out. I'm not worried about a homerun, I just want to get on base.

But thanks man, I'll definitely keep all this in mind when I see her tomorrow.

Be postive, you seem like a decent fella and need to think better of yourself. Ponder this my friend, everyone has those times where they strike out 9 times out of 10...but when you think about it, all you really need is that pitch. :woot:

I'm glad to help bro, and wish you the best of luck. Be calm, be confident, be positive, be ATTENTIVE, and most importantly: have fun.:woot:

[Superman79]

Oke, here it goes.............


I'm telling in short so:
I went to school (I know very interesting :whatever:) and I saw him before my classes so I told him I got to speak to you, so after classes we went somewhere and talked and about 10 minutes later It popped out and I just asked Do you like me? (very subtle I know) so he said what do you mean? well I responded do you like,like me? He said yes a little so I asked why? and blah blah you know how it goes so a little but futher I responded I'm sorry I don't like you I mean a love you but just as a friend and besides there are plently of other girls more nicer and everything than me. So I gave him a hug and asked we're still as good as friends as we are right? He said ofcourse and we kind of departed of there.

But at night I heard from one of my friends that after the talk we had he was kind of frustated and all and I just felt very bad you know I mean it was over and done but I still hurt him :csad:

Back at school it was first a little bit akward but thats normal and then after a while it felt back to normal for me atleast dont know bout him but anyway I hope that everything works out....


Must say it is a relieve:yay:

We told you it would sting him, but he'll get over it in time...just give him a few weeks to a month. The important thing is don't force it...he'll come around.

Glad its over for you. :up:

[Dkim]

oh man, well hey i'm glad it worked out for you! i'm sure he's ok by the way it seems, if you two can just be subtle then it should be good. not to make you feel bad, but i'm thinking the reason why he said a little, was because you might have caught him off guard and he probably didn't want to admit completely but knew you caught on, so that's what he had. :csad: but i'm sure that he'll get over it. im glad it's a relief! now i suppose it's my turn. i think i'm gonna have a similar talk here soon. and with all the current drama... ugh, definitely not looking forward to it, but at least it'll also be a relief. i hope all works out for the best! you've inspired me to have this talk! :heart:

Yeah it was a real relief I was freaking nervous :oldrazz: but anyway he'll probaly will get over it..

And it is definitely not a thing to look forward to but its for the best, good luck with your talk with your friend tell when you have had it wanna know how the talk goes by you :cwink: :o

[Dkim]

We told you it would sting him, but he'll get over it in time...just give him a few weeks to a month. The important thing is don't force it...he'll come around.

Glad its over for you. :up:

Yeah I know I'm not gonna clung much on him give him some time like you said.

Good on you for doing that :) It's better to put a stop to it then to drag it out and get the poor guy's hopes up. If you're as tight as you say you are with him, I'm sure thinsg will be ok.

Now I'm gonna go back and scream at my tv :( My poor hockey team isn;t doing so well *sniffles..

Thank youu :yay:... hahah and good luck with the screaming at your tv :cwink:

[Ray-Fu]

All my yelling paid off...it was a flukey win, but a win is a win :D

[Dkim]

Good for you :up: just yell the next time to and then they will win again(you probaly have some influence) !:woot:

[Ray-Fu]

Not with the way my team plays...ugh...they need to find an identity...lol

[Gilpesh]

i so hope guys in college are better.

We're really not. :up:

[Dkim]

^Well,that kinda sucks for you..

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Yeah it was a real relief I was freaking nervous :oldrazz: but anyway he'll probaly will get over it..

And it is definitely not a thing to look forward to but its for the best, good luck with your talk with your friend tell when you have had it wanna know how the talk goes by you :cwink: :o

hey thanks! i definitely let you know!

We're really not. :up:

lol well thanks that's reassuring

[Gilpesh]

lol well thanks that's reassuring

Why hello, I'm the more realistic of this thread. :woot:

S79 calls me cynical... I think he's just lying.

[Superman79]

Why hello, I'm the more realistic of this thread. :woot:

S79 calls me cynical... I think he's just lying.

Cynic. :o

I think someone needs a big hug...or to get laid, you should do something about that. ;) :oldrazz:

We're really not.

Some are, some aren't :o

Thing is with college, you have a wider variety so its easier to find someone who matches your views and ideals. Despite what Gil might have you believe, Remy, not all men are scum.

[Hoojibs]

I remember when S79 was pretty cynical.

*trip down memory lane*

:o

[Superman79]

I remember when S79 was pretty cynical.

*trip down memory lane*

:o


Ah yeah, my bitter days...Caroline f'ed me up good :csad:

it was only a short period though

[William_C]

Roller Coaster of Love in here...baby, baby

[SpideyVille]

So ask her to just 'hang out' a little, keep things light and just chat...at lunch or walking from class to class or something.



No class the next day!?!?! No time!?!??! You're in freaking college!!!! :cmad:
Sorry...anyway, ask her to grab coffee after since you have no class the next day...get the coffee and go for a walk under the stars on campus...you'd be amazed how girls open up at night on long walks...



Don't make me slap you :dry:
You can only screw up if you plan to. Think positive. Did you play football in high school? One thing my coach always said: "Before you can ever make the big tackle or get the big run, you have to visualize it, embrace it, and know when the time comes you're gonna succeed. If you go negative, then you're doomed to fail because you've already blocked yourself, and you've already tripped..."
See yourself succeeding with this girl, and it will come. Trust me.
"Play like you're positive on the victory, even though they're leading big now." -Knute Rockne



So go to the play with her (friends may tag, no big deal) see if you can get her out after alone. If not, no biggie. Thing is to make the most of ANY time you have with her. Be charming, be funny, be yourself. Get to know her, get to know the friends (if they are there...and remember, her friends are her first line of defense from a guy, and if they LIKE you, they can also be your biggest ally...Think: "Oh that nice guy Spidey asked you out?!? I think hes fun, you should go!") The important thing is to get to know her well enough that you can ASK HER OUT. THAT is the time you can guarantee being alone with her. It's not rare at all, its just called a DATE. :cwink:



So pull back a bit...instead of saying "So then I'm gonna take you ________" go with " So what do you say we go ___________"...just make sure you say it like its a foregone conclusion. Its not forcefull as it is confident and in charge...women like to know you know how to act like a man and can take charge. Either one works as long as you deliver it right.
*Caveat: DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT ask: "You wanna go out sometime?" It is whiney, it is wishy-washy, it is spineless, it is vague...DO NOT ask like that.

As for being like this, well, we've found it works best to get people to listen.



Be postive, you seem like a decent fella and need to think better of yourself. Ponder this my friend, everyone has those times where they strike out 9 times out of 10...but when you think about it, all you really need is that pitch. :woot:

I'm glad to help bro, and wish you the best of luck. Be calm, be confident, be positive, be ATTENTIVE, and most importantly: have fun.:woot:

Thanks man, those words have truly inspired me :up:
About the friends thing, I'm cool with them. One of them likes to joke around with me, and the other hasn't been as mean to me as she's been to others. So I guess I'm one up there. Though now I feel bad because the way I asked her to come with me to the art gallery was in the whiny way that you mentioned. I'll definitely have to work on that. :O

[Superman79]

Thanks man, those words have truly inspired me :up:
About the friends thing, I'm cool with them. One of them likes to joke around with me, and the other hasn't been as mean to me as she's been to others. So I guess I'm one up there. Though now I feel bad because the way I asked her to come with me to the art gallery was in the whiny way that you mentioned. I'll definitely have to work on that. :O

Ok, so you slipped a little, game ain't over...How exactly did you ask her?? What did she say??

[Hoojibs]

Ugh. Did he twist his foot repeatedly, hands in his pockets, while looking at the ground, stammering his words?

:down

Take what is yours. :cmad:

[Superman79]

^^ Too True :p

"Grab your net and catch that beautiful butterfly!"

[SpideyVille]

Ok, so you slipped a little, game ain't over...How exactly did you ask her?? What did she say??

Well I was with her in the cafeteria helping her carry food for her and her friend, and while we were waiting I told her about how my teacher wanted me to go to the gallery. i told her that I didn't really want to go, but then I asked if she wanted to come with me. She said sure,and asked me when. I told her whatever time is good for her and she suggested after out next class. I told her that was good and then we walked back to the table where her friends were and I stood there for the rest of the break.

Another question though. We have different math classes in the same building, but on different floors. It ended up being me and her walking alone before the class and were talking when we got in the building. My class is on the floor below where hers is. My question is should I have continued to walk her upstairs to her class, or was it ok for me to leave when she said bye when we got to my floor?

[Hoojibs]

Ugh. :( :huh: :cmad:

You asked her?

Then you said, whenever's fine?

No, no, no.

If she said bye, it was cool for you to split, if you were still talking I would have "forgot" where I was going and then just said, "Oh, I forgot I was walking to my class".

[Superman79]

Well I was with her in the cafeteria helping her carry food for her and her friend, and while we were waiting I told her about how my teacher wanted me to go to the gallery. i told her that I didn't really want to go, but then I asked if she wanted to come with me. She said sure,and asked me when. I told her whatever time is good for her and she suggested after out next class. I told her that was good and then we walked back to the table where her friends were and I stood there for the rest of the break.

OK, not as bad as I'd thought...though next time, don't leave the time up to her, you pick a time (and if she can't make it, have a backup time suggestion, and if that fails THEN you can ask her to SUGGEST a time, as YOU might be busy then yourself...)

Now when you go, afterwards, ask her if she wants to grab some coffee/ice cream/etc. See if you can extend the alone time, talk to her and see her comfort level, from there you'll have grounds to ask for a more 'real' date.

Now when you say you 'stood', were they sitting? Tell me you weren't hovering around waiting on her...you were part of the conversations and such right?? You were part of the group rather than just some guy sitting/standing with them right??

Another question though. We have different math classes in the same building, but on different floors. It ended up being me and her walking alone before the class and were talking when we got in the building. My class is on the floor below where hers is. My question is should I have continued to walk her upstairs to her class, or was it ok for me to leave when she said bye when we got to my floor?

Just walk with her and go to class, don't read too far into it. If the conversation is extensive, then sure, walk up the extra floor and finish the talk, but otherwise if you can bust off to go your own way, then by all means bust off...DO NOT BE CLINGY.

[Superman79]

If she said bye, it was cool for you to split, if you were still talking I would have "forgot" where I was going and then just said, "Oh, I forgot I was walking to my class".


Perfect :up:

[SpideyVille]

Well alright I definitely have to work on that. Idk maybe it was because I was really nervous, but I'll try to more assertive next time.

And no, that's something I've learned, not to hover around and actually be apart of the convo. We were all sitting together at a table.

Well thanks for the help guys, but I have to head to class now. Hopefully I come back with some great news :up:

[Gilpesh]

Cynic. :o

I think someone needs a big hug...or to get laid, you should do something about that. ;) :oldrazz:

And ruin my sunny disposition? Never.

Some are, some aren't :o

Thing is with college, you have a wider variety so its easier to find someone who matches your views and ideals. Despite what Gil might have you believe, Remy, not all men are scum.

Some are, Some aren't? Pfffffffffft, loads of them are and a few aren't. :oldrazz:

Ah yeah, my bitter days...Caroline f'ed me up good :csad:

it was only a short period though


:wow:

[amazingfantasy15]

Well alright I definitely have to work on that. Idk maybe it was because I was really nervous, but I'll try to more assertive next time.

And no, that's something I've learned, not to hover around and actually be apart of the convo. We were all sitting together at a table.

Well thanks for the help guys, but I have to head to class now. Hopefully I come back with some great news :up:

While it's normal to be nervous, everything you've said suggests this girl is interested in you. Assuming you go out with again, this date you have to make a move though, hold her hand, kiss her, something. Otherwise you will end up in the friends zone.

[Hoojibs]

Wait for the opening though, don't try and kiss her when she's checking out art. LOL

[uchiha_itachi]

out of intrest isn't holding hands like a couples thing? not a first move thing?

[Erzengel]

Not really, I'd take a girl's hand even early on if I was say crossing a busy street.

It's all in the delivery and timing.

Some women may consider it less forward than a kiss too.

[SpideyVille]

Ok today was a weird day. My first class was canceled and my second class had to meet in a computer lab. At first I sat at the table behind and when she turned around she smiled and said "hi" to me. But then I realized my comp was frozen so I had to switch my seat. :dry:

In the next class, the only seat close to her was two rows away, since her friends were sitting in the row next to where she was. But I joined their convo for a while, but then the professor came in and got mad because we were all so loud. After class, which is our last one for the day, I "took my time" getting ready so that the last people left were me, her, her two friends, and this dude that usually tags along with them. Then when we got outside, the guy that was with us left but some other guy came. I guess they were trying to hook him up with one of her friends since we all stood back while they were talking to each other. So we were at the bus stop again and it was her friend and some guy talking, while me, the girl and her other friend were on the side talking. I figured this wasn't a good time to ask for a date, so I just used it as a opportunity to work on her friend, though this was the one that already seems to be cool with me. But I got some laughs out of them and things felt cool. The bus finally came and the guy, along with the friend that I was talking to got on and left, while the girl and the other friend went back to the school to go to the gym and work out. I would've went with them but I didn't know that's what they do after class, so I didn't really come prepared to work out.

But I don't think today was a bad day, but maybe tomorrow can be better. I'll try and catch her during or break between classes, though I think she's gonna practice rehearsing a scene for our class next week with her partner.

And as far as holding hands goes as a first move, I feel it's more of a couples thing too. Sure you can hold her hand in a busy street, but when you get to a less busy street, do you still holds for the sake of it? Is it a comfort thing or do you just stay holding hands because you're not sure about letting go?

[Superman79]

Ok today was a weird day. My first class was canceled and my second class had to meet in a computer lab. At first I sat at the table behind and when she turned around she smiled and said "hi" to me. But then I realized my comp was frozen so I had to switch my seat. :dry:

In the next class, the only seat close to her was two rows away, since her friends were sitting in the row next to where she was. But I joined their convo for a while, but then the professor came in and got mad because we were all so loud. After class, which is our last one for the day, I "took my time" getting ready so that the last people left were me, her, her two friends, and this dude that usually tags along with them. Then when we got outside, the guy that was with us left but some other guy came. I guess they were trying to hook him up with one of her friends since we all stood back while they were talking to each other. So we were at the bus stop again and it was her friend and some guy talking, while me, the girl and her other friend were on the side talking. I figured this wasn't a good time to ask for a date, so I just used it as a opportunity to work on her friend, though this was the one that already seems to be cool with me. But I got some laughs out of them and things felt cool. The bus finally came and the guy, along with the friend that I was talking to got on and left, while the girl and the other friend went back to the school to go to the gym and work out. I would've went with them but I didn't know that's what they do after class, so I didn't really come prepared to work out.

But I don't think today was a bad day, but maybe tomorrow can be better. I'll try and catch her during or break between classes, though I think she's gonna practice rehearsing a scene for our class next week with her partner.

It wasn't bad at all, you were spending time and building rapport with her and her friends, and that is never a bad thing. Just keep working. You keep saying in old posts about how you walk to class with her sometimes, so ask her out then, hell, call her if need be.

Again, make sure you're around, but not all the time...you don't wanna come across as desperate or clingy.

And as far as holding hands goes as a first move, I feel it's more of a couples thing too. Sure you can hold her hand in a busy street, but when you get to a less busy street, do you still holds for the sake of it? Is it a comfort thing or do you just stay holding hands because you're not sure about letting go?

I agree with Erz that hand holding is good (a great line if she asks why you're holding it: "Well, you never know when you might hit a patch of ice"...this is cute/funny to girls especially when there is no chance in hell there is ice...like in MAY). If the initial taking of the hand for holding is you're problem, find a crowded area where you have the excuse to take it so as not to lose her in the crowd.

If that doesn't work for you, while walking around the museum, guide her with a hand at the small of the back, touch her on the arm near the elbow while talking, places that are public and yet convey intimacy. See if she touches you back in some way for any reason...its a good sign if she does.
At the end of your little outing you could ask her out. Just tell her you had fun, and why doesn't she join you doing ________, you can even get some dinner...tada: date set. :woot:

[DV8]

Ok today was a weird day. My first class was canceled and my second class had to meet in a computer lab. At first I sat at the table behind and when she turned around she smiled and said "hi" to me. But then I realized my comp was frozen so I had to switch my seat. :dry:

In the next class, the only seat close to her was two rows away, since her friends were sitting in the row next to where she was. But I joined their convo for a while, but then the professor came in and got mad because we were all so loud. After class, which is our last one for the day, I "took my time" getting ready so that the last people left were me, her, her two friends, and this dude that usually tags along with them. Then when we got outside, the guy that was with us left but some other guy came. I guess they were trying to hook him up with one of her friends since we all stood back while they were talking to each other. So we were at the bus stop again and it was her friend and some guy talking, while me, the girl and her other friend were on the side talking. I figured this wasn't a good time to ask for a date, so I just used it as a opportunity to work on her friend, though this was the one that already seems to be cool with me. But I got some laughs out of them and things felt cool. The bus finally came and the guy, along with the friend that I was talking to got on and left, while the girl and the other friend went back to the school to go to the gym and work out. I would've went with them but I didn't know that's what they do after class, so I didn't really come prepared to work out.

But I don't think today was a bad day, but maybe tomorrow can be better. I'll try and catch her during or break between classes, though I think she's gonna practice rehearsing a scene for our class next week with her partner.

And as far as holding hands goes as a first move, I feel it's more of a couples thing too. Sure you can hold her hand in a busy street, but when you get to a less busy street, do you still holds for the sake of it? Is it a comfort thing or do you just stay holding hands because you're not sure about letting go?

well . . . the whole hand-holding/kissing/making a move thing is kind of subjective; it's all about establishing physical contact in SOME way . . . if she wears rings or jewelry, you can comment on it and casually grab her hand to get a closer look . . . then once you have the hand, but it on your balls LMAO!! just kidding, once you have the hand, comment on how soft her skin is, or something like that . . . you can turn that into a full-fledged 'hand-hold', and say something like 'I could get used to this'

you know what I'm saying? that's technically a 'move' . . . it's the suggestion that you want more than just a buddy :up:

[Erzengel]

Well the "holding hands" was kinda of a chivalrous thing to do when crossing the street, I was just giving an example when it's okay to. Usually I've always tried to pick up signals from women, if we are at a movie and she leans on me or puts her hand on top of yours, then you go from there.

[Erzengel]

LOL. I'm laughing at the whole getting the little gazelle as it strays from the herd which is Spiderville's problem asking her out seeing she's always with friends.

You have to stalk your prey and attack when the gazelle stumbles back. :up:

[amazingfantasy15]

Wow, never realized my little comment was gonna be analyzed so much. All I meant was make a move that conveys you're interested in her, some type of physical contact. Also Spideyville, do you have her phone number? Call her tonight and ask her out, you don't need to ask in person. From what you're saying it's gonna be hard to seperate her from "the pack" before or after class.

[DV8]

Well the "holding hands" was kinda of a chivalrous thing to do when crossing the street, I was just giving an example when it's okay to. Usually I've always tried to pick up signals from women, if we are at a movie and she leans on me or puts her hand on top of yours, then you go from there.

another chivalrous thing to do when crossing the street is firmly hold her left booty cheek . . . make sure it's the left though cuz holding the right one could get you smacked good :o

[SpideyVille]

It wasn't bad at all, you were spending time and building rapport with her and her friends, and that is never a bad thing. Just keep working. You keep saying in old posts about how you walk to class with her sometimes, so ask her out then, hell, call her if need be.

Again, make sure you're around, but not all the time...you don't wanna come across as desperate or clingy.

Well that walking her to class was a first time thing, but I'm definitely going to try again tomorrow. But if I ask her out, what's a good place to suggest. I mean the movies is pretty obvious and cliche, but that's just seems like a waste unless things get steamy during the movie.

Also, what's a good way to flirt that shows you're interested, but doesn't come across as corny or chessy?



I agree with Erz that hand holding is good (a great line if she asks why you're holding it: "Well, you never know when you might hit a patch of ice"...this is cute/funny to girls especially when there is no chance in hell there is ice...like in MAY). If the initial taking of the hand for holding is you're problem, find a crowded area where you have the excuse to take it so as not to lose her in the crowd.

If that doesn't work for you, while walking around the museum, guide her with a hand at the small of the back, touch her on the arm near the elbow while talking, places that are public and yet convey intimacy. See if she touches you back in some way for any reason...its a good sign if she does.
At the end of your little outing you could ask her out. Just tell her you had fun, and why doesn't she join you doing ________, you can even get some dinner...tada: date set. :woot:

Oh boy, I definitely have a lot to learn.

well . . . the whole hand-holding/kissing/making a move thing is kind of subjective; it's all about establishing physical contact in SOME way . . . if she wears rings or jewelry, you can comment on it and casually grab her hand to get a closer look . . . then once you have the hand, but it on your balls LMAO!! just kidding, once you have the hand, comment on how soft her skin is, or something like that . . . you can turn that into a full-fledged 'hand-hold', and say something like 'I could get used to this'

you know what I'm saying? that's technically a 'move' . . . it's the suggestion that you want more than just a buddy :up:

Yea I've noticed that when she's bored in class, she tends to draw on her hand. I saw it while we were talking and was thinking about doing that yesterday, but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or how it would come across.

[Erzengel]

Wow, never realized my little comment was gonna be analyzed so much. All I meant was make a move that conveys you're interested in her, some type of physical contact. Also Spideyville, do you have her phone number? Call her tonight and ask her out, you don't need to ask in person. From what you're saying it's gonna be hard to seperate her from "the pack" before or after class.

Pelvic thrusts in her direction. :up:

I agree that calling is an option too. You talk in school, there shouldn't be any awkwardness unless you're nervous.

[amazingfantasy15]

haha yea maybe i do need to join a convent! unfortunately Kyle has called me again today but no voicemail this time. he texted me "please answer because i wanna explain" and i texted him "i really don't want or need you to, so please just drop it" i really wanted to go off, but Sara asked that i just leave him. i have been talking to her and i think she is feeling at least a little better. so hopefully all will be good. i am really trying to be there as much as i can, but i can see how frustrating it is for her when her comforter is the reason she's not with who she wants to be. :csad: i so hope guys in college are better. i'll take your word for it! thanks for the advice!

i suppose i'll just be back with more about my friend now sometime soon. man i'm havin all kinds of problems i'm gonna become the troubled girl of this thread!

oh man, well hey i'm glad it worked out for you! i'm sure he's ok by the way it seems, if you two can just be subtle then it should be good. not to make you feel bad, but i'm thinking the reason why he said a little, was because you might have caught him off guard and he probably didn't want to admit completely but knew you caught on, so that's what he had. :csad: but i'm sure that he'll get over it. im glad it's a relief! now i suppose it's my turn. i think i'm gonna have a similar talk here soon. and with all the current drama... ugh, definitely not looking forward to it, but at least it'll also be a relief. i hope all works out for the best! you've inspired me to have this talk! :heart:

You don't need to have a talk with this guy, just say you're not interested in him and you think it's disgusting he was trying to hit on you while still going out with your friend. Also the fact he's been lying about everything is pretty pathetic as well, best to just stay away from this guy.

[SpideyVille]

Wow, never realized my little comment was gonna be analyzed so much. All I meant was make a move that conveys you're interested in her, some type of physical contact. Also Spideyville, do you have her phone number? Call her tonight and ask her out, you don't need to ask in person. From what you're saying it's gonna be hard to seperate her from "the pack" before or after class.

No, I don't have her phone number. I think she would give me her number if I asked, and maybe if I had a good reason. But I'm kinda scared about the talking on the phone thing. I got this one girl's number last year, but whenever I called, she never answered except for one time when she said she was busy and would call me back, though she never did. I know it's inevitable, but I really feel less comfortable on the phone, especially since calls can always "end" suddenly or get interrupted.

[SpideyVille]

Pelvic thrusts in her direction. :up:

I agree that calling is an option too. You talk in school, there shouldn't be any awkwardness unless you're nervous.

Well yea I get pretty nervous around her. I mean sometimes I ry to talk but my mouth is completely dry and it's hard to talk unless I lick my lips every few seconds.

[amazingfantasy15]

No, I don't have her phone number. I think she would give me her number if I asked, and maybe if I had a good reason. But I'm kinda scared about the talking on the phone thing. I got this one girl's number last year, but whenever I called, she never answered except for one time when she said she was busy and would call me back, though she never did. I know it's inevitable, but I really feel less comfortable on the phone, especially since calls can always "end" suddenly or get interrupted.

Okay, you've had bad experiences trying to get stuff going with girls in the past, get over it. Baggage and lack of confidence are the two biggest turn-offs to women. Learn from past mistakes, but don't dwell on them, find a way to get her alone the next time you see her, ask her out and also get her number, you're gonna need that down the line.

[Erzengel]

No, I don't have her phone number. I think she would give me her number if I asked, and maybe if I had a good reason. But I'm kinda scared about the talking on the phone thing. I got this one girl's number last year, but whenever I called, she never answered except for one time when she said she was busy and would call me back, though she never did. I know it's inevitable, but I really feel less comfortable on the phone, especially since calls can always "end" suddenly or get interrupted.
Welcome to dating.

Dating 101: Calling a Girl

It's normal to feel this way but it may be your only option if you want to talk to her.

I mean, it might be more frustrating constantly waiting for your moment to get her alone especially if she's always with her friends.

Your only other option is to show up somewhere where you know she's going to be alone. "She's going to the mall to pick up something." Yadda, yadda. A phone is usually easier. :up:

[Remy LeBeau X3]

You don't need to have a talk with this guy, just say you're not interested in him and you think it's disgusting he was trying to hit on you while still going out with your friend. Also the fact he's been lying about everything is pretty pathetic as well, best to just stay away from this guy.

lol actually in this case, it's a different guy. i have two issues going on. one is Sara's ex trying to talk to me, which is what you were addressing, and thanks, i definitely plan on staying away from him. the only thing about that is that it's kinda hard because he hangs out in group of friends too. i did however talk to him, i know i shouldn't but it was kinda unavoidable. i just basically told him we'd never work nor would i even want to date him seeing as how he lied to my friend, and even if he didn't he's just my "friend" and not bf material to me. he just got sad and kept trying to reason but i kept repeating and eventually i got away. Sara on the other hand seemed kinda weird too. she wasn't as energetic as she usually is. i know she's depressed, but at other times she's usually still talkative. i think it's probably me. i can sense her frustration with me. :csad:

well anyway, the other situation is that i have a really close guy friend i've known for six years and recently i'm picking up signals of his attraction towards me. that's what i was mentioning in the post you quoted. i just have to tell him soon, but with this other situation i haven't been thinking about it too much. what sucks too is that he sees me kinda down because Sara is down, so then he calls me and reassures me that everything is okay which is really nice and i can't help but talk to him about it, but at the same time i think he may be thinking that he's making "progress" with me. awkward.

[Superman79]

Well that walking her to class was a first time thing, but I'm definitely going to try again tomorrow. But if I ask her out, what's a good place to suggest. I mean the movies is pretty obvious and cliche, but that's just seems like a waste unless things get steamy during the movie.

Also, what's a good way to flirt that shows you're interested, but doesn't come across as corny or chessy?

So try bowling, skating (chicks love skating), ballroom dancing, put-putt golf, whatever is available in your area (I have no clue where you're from). You just need to be creative. Go get dinner, then go kareoke, or play pool...whatever works for your town and your age.

As for flirting, well man, that's tough to relay. I feel Good natured teasing (like about her choice of sports team to follow or something non threatening like that) is always a good start (often it leads to playful touching like her giving you a halfhearted shove or something). Be judicious with compliments...don't fawn over her. Get her to laugh, but without trying too hard. Damn, defining flirting is tough. Just be funny, be yourself, and talk with her, tease her a bit and get a playful banter going...then most things will snowball from there if you follow her cues on subject and content.

Oh boy, I definitely have a lot to learn.

SHH Relationship University:
Dean and Professor of Pick-up: Dr. Erzengel
Associate Dean and Professor of Communications: Dr. Superman79
Professor of Ass-slapology: Prof. DV8
Professor of Cynicism: Prof. Gilpesh
Adjunct Professors: Prof. Daisy and Prof. jaguarr

Psychology classes taught in tandem.

:D :p

Yea I've noticed that when she's bored in class, she tends to draw on her hand. I saw it while we were talking and was thinking about doing that yesterday, but I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or how it would come across.

Well there you go, a prime in for contact...even if you don't remain holding the hand, you have broken the touch barrier and that is a positive step...getting her comfortable enough for mutual (non-sexual) touch.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

SHH Relationship University:
Dean and Professor of Pick-up: Dr. Erzengel
Associate Dean and Professor of Communications: Dr. Superman79
Professor of Ass-slapology: Prof. DV8
Professor of Cynicism: Prof. Gilpesh

Psychology classes taught in tandem.

:D :p



Well there you go, a prime in for contact...even if you don't remain holding the hand, you have broken the touch barrier and that is a positive step...getting her comfortable enough for mutual (non-sexual) touch.

good advice Supes! i like the set of teachers you have there haha! i'm trying to make honor roll!

[SpideyVille]

Okay, you've had bad experiences trying to get stuff going with girls in the past, get over it. Baggage and lack of confidence are the two biggest turn-offs to women. Learn from past mistakes, but don't dwell on them, find a way to get her alone the next time you see her, ask her out and also get her number, you're gonna need that down the line.
Well yea, I've gotten over and learned from most of my past experiences, but now it just feels like I'm past all that and on a more advanced stage. Now it's pretty much just trying to have a plan and hope I execute it well enough so that it works. But okay, my best chance is tomorrow in between classes when we have an hour break. If I can't do it then, then I'd have to wait until next week, so it seems like tomorrow is a big day. Hopefully I don't choke. :O

Welcome to dating.

Dating 101: Calling a Girl

It's normal to feel this way but it may be your only option if you want to talk to her.

I mean, it might be more frustrating constantly waiting for your moment to get her alone especially if she's always with her friends.

Your only other option is to show up somewhere where you know she's going to be alone. "She's going to the mall to pick up something." Yadda, yadda. A phone is usually easier. :up:

Yea I guess I have to get this over with sometime.

[DV8]

SHH Relationship University:
Dean and Professor of Pick-up: Dr. Erzengel
Associate Dean and Professor of Communications: Dr. Superman79
Professor of Ass-slapology: Prof. DV8
Professor of Cynicism: Prof. Gilpesh

Psychology classes taught in tandem.

:D :p


LOL!! :up:

[Superman79]

No, I don't have her phone number. I think she would give me her number if I asked, and maybe if I had a good reason. But I'm kinda scared about the talking on the phone thing. I got this one girl's number last year, but whenever I called, she never answered except for one time when she said she was busy and would call me back, though she never did. I know it's inevitable, but I really feel less comfortable on the phone, especially since calls can always "end" suddenly or get interrupted.

Bud, as I've said before: SUCK IT UP. :o

You've gotta fight this self doubt if you're gonna succeed, and I believe you will succeed if you just let your balls drop, man up, and ask her. Get her number (you don't need a reason, but if she asks why tell her simply: "so I can call you, of course" and then tease her about that: thus instant flirting)
Call her! :up:

Well yea I get pretty nervous around her. I mean sometimes I ry to talk but my mouth is completely dry and it's hard to talk unless I lick my lips every few seconds.

Don't be nervous. This girl has no power over you. A date/relationship/whatever from her is not a life and death matter. Shes a person, you're a person, think of her not as a potential lover, but as someone you just want to know better, just like a friend. Its no different than making a new friend, you are just shooting to take this down a more intimate path, but it all starts the same and should be approached the same, with a sense of curiosity and fun, not nerves.


*End tough love lecture...for now :o

[Superman79]

LOL!! :up:


Thought you'd like that :D

[Erzengel]

So try bowling, skating (chicks love skating), ballroom dancing, put-putt golf, whatever is available in your area (I have no clue where you're from). You just need to be creative. Go get dinner, then go kareoke, or play pool...whatever works for your town and your age.

As for flirting, well man, that's tough to relay. I feel Good natured teasing (like about her choice of sports team to follow or something non threatening like that) is always a good start (often it leads to playful touching like her giving you a halfhearted shove or something). Be judicious with compliments...don't fawn over her. Get her to laugh, but without trying too hard. Damn, defining flirting is tough. Just be funny, be yourself, and talk with her, tease her a bit and get a playful banter going...then most things will snowball from there if you follow her cues on subject and content.



SHH Relationship University:
Dean and Professor of Pick-up: Dr. Erzengel
Associate Dean and Professor of Communications: Dr. Superman79
Professor of Ass-slapology: Prof. DV8
Professor of Cynicism: Prof. Gilpesh

Psychology classes taught in tandem.

:D :p



Well there you go, a prime in for contact...even if you don't remain holding the hand, you have broken the touch barrier and that is a positive step...getting her comfortable enough for mutual (non-sexual) touch.

Jag and Daisy are Part time Professors. :o

[Superman79]

Well yea, I've gotten over and learned from most of my past experiences, but now it just feels like I'm past all that and on a more advanced stage. Now it's pretty much just trying to have a plan and hope I execute it well enough so that it works. But okay, my best chance is tomorrow in between classes when we have an hour break. If I can't do it then, then I'd have to wait until next week, so it seems like tomorrow is a big day. Hopefully I don't choke. :O

Good. Learn. That's what life is about. But one thing, have an idea what you want to do, but don't make a stone set PLAN. Murphy's Law of War: Every plan falls apart 5 minutes after it's started.

Basically, have an outline of what you'd like to do and say, but be ready to go with the flow as the situation changes...you'll be fine. Remember, CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE :o :woot:

Yea I guess I have to get this over with sometime.

Damn right you do. Keep fighting and you will. Remember it only takes one pitch and one swing to change it all :up:

good advice Supes! i like the set of teachers you have there haha! i'm trying to make honor roll!

Thanks, and I'm sure you'll be a top student Remy :D

[Superman79]

Jag and Daisy are Part time Professors. :o

good point...i forgot the adjucts


...fixed

[jaguarr]

Jag and Daisy are Part time Professors. :o

SOMEONE has to teach the Advanced Courses. There's just not that much need for them at this particular institution. :o

jag

[DV8]

SOMEONE has to teach the Advanced Courses. There's just not that much need for them at this particular institution. :o

jag

LOL!!

everything I learned about ass-slapping I learned from jag . . . in a very macho, non-gay way of course :o

[DV8]

good advice Supes! i like the set of teachers you have there haha! i'm trying to make honor roll!

oh, you are . . . well why don't you step into DV8's office, missy :cool: :hyper: *turns on Al Green*

[SpideyVille]

So try bowling, skating (chicks love skating), ballroom dancing, put-putt golf, whatever is available in your area (I have no clue where you're from). You just need to be creative. Go get dinner, then go kareoke, or play pool...whatever works for your town and your age.
Bowling sounds good. Skating is cool, but Idk know how to skate and while it'd be nice if she taught me, wouldn't it seem dumb that I invited to go skating even though I don't know how?
But it should be easy to find places, I live in NYC :p

As for flirting, well man, that's tough to relay. I feel Good natured teasing (like about her choice of sports team to follow or something non threatening like that) is always a good start (often it leads to playful touching like her giving you a halfhearted shove or something). Be judicious with compliments...don't fawn over her. Get her to laugh, but without trying too hard. Damn, defining flirting is tough. Just be funny, be yourself, and talk with her, tease her a bit and get a playful banter going...then most things will snowball from there if you follow her cues on subject and content.Okay good, I've been trying to do this. I just don't know how well I've been trying to show her I'm interested.



SHH Relationship University:
Dean and Professor of Pick-up: Dr. Erzengel
Associate Dean and Professor of Communications: Dr. Superman79
Professor of Ass-slapology: Prof. DV8
Professor of Cynicism: Prof. Gilpesh
Adjunct Professors: Prof. Daisy and Prof. jaguarr

Psychology classes taught in tandem.


:lmao: Alright :up:


Well there you go, a prime in for contact...even if you don't remain holding the hand, you have broken the touch barrier and that is a positive step...getting her comfortable enough for mutual (non-sexual) touch.Alright cool, I'll try this the next time I'm with her.

Bud, as I've said before: SUCK IT UP. :o

You've gotta fight this self doubt if you're gonna succeed, and I believe you will succeed if you just let your balls drop, man up, and ask her. Get her number (you don't need a reason, but if she asks why tell her simply: "so I can call you, of course" and then tease her about that: thus instant flirting)
Call her!
lol, that's genius. :up:

Don't be nervous. This girl has no power over you. A date/relationship/whatever from her is not a life and death matter. Shes a person, you're a person, think of her not as a potential lover, but as someone you just want to know better, just like a friend. Its no different than making a new friend, you are just shooting to take this down a more intimate path, but it all starts the same and should be approached the same, with a sense of curiosity and fun, not nerves.Good points

Good. Learn. That's what life is about. But one thing, have an idea what you want to do, but don't make a stone set PLAN. Murphy's Law of War: Every plan falls apart 5 minutes after it's started.

Basically, have an outline of what you'd like to do and say, but be ready to go with the flow as the situation changes...you'll be fine. Remember, CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE, CONFIDENCE :o :woot:

That sounds like a better idea.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

oh, you are . . . well why don't you step into DV8's office, missy :cool: :hyper: *turns on Al Green*

lmao! you are so bad :cwink: