*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[amazingfantasy15]

Okay, and am I practically waiting for her to give me her number at this point? I mean I want to ask for it, but I feel like maybe she wants to give it when she's ready ,so I should wait.

Just ask for it.

[DV8]

^seriously . . . like I said before, it should come off as a ridiculous notion that you DON'T have her number . . .

[SpideyVille]

yea, ok, i like that idea. Make it seem like i wanted to tell her something important but couldn't because i didn't have her number.

[DV8]

yea, ok, i like that idea. Make it seem like i wanted to tell her something important but couldn't because i didn't have her number.

yeah, I mean . . . you have a lot of options for your approach to that now . . . you could also use that whole 'boyfriend' angle, jokingly saying:

"well, since I'm your bf and all, you should pry give me that phone number" :up: or even "I just realized I don't even have your number!!!"

[uchiha_itachi]

is there any particular way you should ask a girl if you can get her a drink/dance in a club?

[DV8]

is there any particular way you should ask a girl if you can get her a drink/dance in a club?

if you're in a club, try not to buy too many ladies drinks at all . . . unless you're already talking to them and really hitting it off, then a social drink or shot is def in order . . . ****, I'll even buy males a shot in good spirit if we're just kickin back having a good time . . .

as far as dancing goes, you basically just walk up to a girl that's already dancing and do your thang :cool:

[uchiha_itachi]

fair enough. reason i ask is i went to a club and actualyl had the courage to ask a girl if i could get her a drink thing is i was pretty ****ing drunk so i got no clue what she said back to me, but i backed off anyway lol

i just dont really know how to go about starting it up with someone 1 in a club.

[DV8]

also, Uchicha, the whole 'club game' aspect of getting ladies is a different animal altogether; you have to have some kind of prop, or swagger, some kind of gimic, I guess I'd say works the best in that kind of atmosphere . . .

if you can't really dance, LEARN . . . you don't have to turn into Justin Timberlake or anything but watch some JT and learn even TWO of his moves, and that's all you need :up: being able to dance even halfway decent will get you pretty far w/ the ladies in a club, unless you're like a downright magnificent dancing gay man (gay dudes can dance a little too well ) :O

also, you're a funny guy; use your sense of humor to your advantage . . . a little personality in a club full of brainless meatheads gives you an upper hand

[DV8]

fair enough. reason i ask is i went to a club and actualyl had the courage to ask a girl if i could get her a drink thing is i was pretty ****ing drunk so i got no clue what she said back to me, but i backed off anyway lol

i just dont really know how to go about starting it up with someone 1 in a club.

yeah, like I said, it's a whole different ballgame; you basically have to let loose like you did!!! usually clubs are so pretentious that they're intimidating, and that's why you have to let loose, be yourself and kind of laugh at how serious people try to be; once I learned that, it was OVER :up:

[uchiha_itachi]

Dancing aint a problem, ive bin out clubbing with girls from work and i picked up how to dance with them real quick, so im pretty confident about that.

humorwise i think im good to i always make girls laugh. Its just the first move thing i gotta learn. i dont think it will take me long to get. i mean when i was at this club i got a ciggerette off the Dj after saying how awesome he was, went outside and started chatting to these two sweedish girls for a bit. good times lol

[uchiha_itachi]

yeah, like I said, it's a whole different ballgame; you basically have to let loose like you did!!! usually clubs are so pretentious that they're intimidating, and that's why you have to let loose, be yourself and kind of laugh at how serious people try to be; once I learned that, it was OVER :up:

v.good advice :D I wasn't even looking to meet girls last time i went so next time go time, and there aint no time like go time:whatever:

[DV8]

yeah bro, you just need to let loose . . . I will usually make the first point of contact by saying something really stupid or random, or making a general observation about the environment . . . like you see a dude w/ a tight shirt and be like "I guess they were out of his size". . .

[uchiha_itachi]

lol dude thats awesome, im defo gona be using tht

[Mac_Hine]

fair enough. reason i ask is i went to a club and actualyl had the courage to ask a girl if i could get her a drink thing is i was pretty ****ing drunk so i got no clue what she said back to me, but i backed off anyway lol

i just dont really know how to go about starting it up with someone 1 in a club.
Dude, don't offer to buy girls drinks in a club as your starter. Every loser guy is doing that and in her eyes, you are just being like the next generic guy. You have to be unique man. You have to come from a different angle.

[Superman79]

Okay, and am I practically waiting for her to give me her number at this point? I mean I want to ask for it, but I feel like maybe she wants to give it when she's ready ,so I should wait.

Dude. Just ask.

[Mac_Hine]

Okay, and am I practically waiting for her to give me her number at this point? I mean I want to ask for it, but I feel like maybe she wants to give it when she's ready ,so I should wait.
Just ask for it. You're the man. You're supposed to lead.

[uchiha_itachi]

Dude, don't offer to buy girls drinks in a club as your starter. Every loser guy is doing that and in her eyes, you are just being like the next generic guy. You have to be unique man. You have to come from a different angle.

yeah i aint doin tht no more. you gotta bare in mind i was stupidly drunk lol On the way home i went to lean against the bus stop completly missed it and fell on the floor...good times lol

[Superman79]

yeah i aint doin tht no more. you gotta bare in mind i was stupidly drunk lol On the way home i went to lean against the bus stop completly missed it and fell on the floor...good times lol

Let that be a lesson to you

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son."

:deanwormer:

:D

[amazingfantasy15]

Jeez louise. I just found that incident odd and wanted to talk about it.

He's just giving you a small preemptive slap on the wrist to keep you from falling back into your pit...AF15 means well.

Exactly, gotta stop talking about him, it's one of the most important steps to getting over him. Can't have your eyes open to other possibilities or move past this if you're analzying his or his friends actions and/or comments. Trust me, this is experience talking, I closed my eyes towards a few girls that I should've dated because I was looking for something that didn't exsist between me and another girl.

[uchiha_itachi]

Let that be a lesson to you

"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son."

:deanwormer:

:D

lucky i was only drunk then :D

[SpideyVille]

Ok, I'm beginning to feel like I'm losing control of the entire situation. I mean like I honestly don't know what's going on. It's like with the whole friends teasing thing, and the unexpected hug with her reassurance that we'll do something together some other time (even after i showed no intention of doing anything that day), and then the way she IMs me as soon as she gets home and we have these long convos that are usually start casual but turn into flirtatious teasing and joking around. But aside from that, it's like things don't feel the same when i'm around her in class. Like if we're alone, i'm a completely different person and act in a more natural way than i would with anyone else. But then as soon as someone else is around, it's like we both change, where i show the most change. Like I've been sitting either next to her, or around her in class, and i just can't be the same way that i am when we're not in class.

Like idk, at times it seems like she really likes me we can really connect with each other on so many levels and we have so much in common, but at other times it just seems hard to notice that. It's like we have something together, but we keep it all the way on the down low that even we can't see it.

I just don't know what to do. It feels like things should be much easier at this point, but yet they feel much harder, even though i feel very confident and comfortable with things.

[Superman79]

Ok, I'm beginning to feel like I'm losing control of the entire situation. I mean like I honestly don't know what's going on. It's like with the whole friends teasing thing, and the unexpected hug with her reassurance that we'll do something together some other time (even after i showed no intention of doing anything that day), and then the way she IMs me as soon as she gets home and we have these long convos that are usually start casual but turn into flirtatious teasing and joking around. But aside from that, it's like things don't feel the same when i'm around her in class. Like if we're alone, i'm a completely different person and act in a more natural way than i would with anyone else. But then as soon as someone else is around, it's like we both change, where i show the most change. Like I've been sitting either next to her, or around her in class, and i just can't be the same way that i am when we're not in class.

Like idk, at times it seems like she really likes me we can really connect with each other on so many levels and we have so much in common, but at other times it just seems hard to notice that. It's like we have something together, but we keep it all the way on the down low that even we can't see it.

I just don't know what to do. It feels like things should be much easier at this point, but yet they feel much harder, even though i feel very confident and comfortable with things.

Things are bouncing back and forth because you are in a sort of awkward plane where you're not really seeing each other, or dating, or a couple, but there is an underlying tension/connection/attraction between you two and you're both feeling out where things are right now. Hence the different actions depending on a situation. That and lets face it, even if you'd been dating for 4 years no one likes the overly PDA couples...

Just ask her out, get her on a date or two and it will dissipate as you will then be more established publicly and privately so as to worry about a behavioral "line" in how you treat each other.

Ask her out, keep on going, and you'll get past this into a more comfortable setting. Trust me. You'll be fine.

Now the important question...did you get her number/ask her out today?

[Gilpesh]

no one likes the overly PDA couples...

No matter how actually compatible the couple is... PDAs always come off as "HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT US WE GET ALONG SO WELL TOGETHER!" and awkward all at the same time.

[SpideyVille]

Things are bouncing back and forth because you are in a sort of awkward plane where you're not really seeing each other, or dating, or a couple, but there is an underlying tension/connection/attraction between you two and you're both feeling out where things are right now. Hence the different actions depending on a situation. That and lets face it, even if you'd been dating for 4 years no one likes the overly PDA couples...

Just ask her out, get her on a date or two and it will dissipate as you will then be more established publicly and privately so as to worry about a behavioral "line" in how you treat each other.

Ask her out, keep on going, and you'll get past this into a more comfortable setting. Trust me. You'll be fine.

Now the important question...did you get her number/ask her out today?
No, I didn't get it. Much like with asking her on a date, getting her number isn't something i feel comfortable asking her as soon as i see her in the morning, or when her friends are around. It's something that I've been waiting to ask when we say goodbye to each other. The problem with that is she ran off with her friends after class today before i got the chance to even talk to her. She had invited me yesterday to join her and her friends at the gym today, but then said that it all depends on one of her friends, so their plans could change. Unfortunately for me, their plans changed and that worked against me. So everything I was going to talk to her about after class went to waste since i didn't have the chance to speak to her.

But hey, maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I really feel like I have to step my game up because at this point, it really shouldn't be hard for me. I need to work around my awkwardness around others and just focus on her.

[DV8]

No, I didn't get it. Much like with asking her on a date, getting her number isn't something i feel comfortable asking her as soon as i see her in the morning, or when her friends are around. It's something that I've been waiting to ask when we say goodbye to each other. The problem with that is she ran off with her friends after class today before i got the chance to even talk to her. She had invited me yesterday to join her and her friends at the gym today, but then said that it all depends on one of her friends, so their plans could change. Unfortunately for me, their plans changed and that worked against me. So everything I was going to talk to her about after class went to waste since i didn't have the chance to speak to her.

But hey, maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I really feel like I have to step my game up because at this point, it really shouldn't be hard for me. I need to work around my awkwardness around others and just focus on her.

yeah Spidey, you're in a good spot right now, don't panic; all the things you're feeling are natural; but don't beat yourself up; you're building things up a little too much I think . . . at this point, there's no reason you shouldn't have the number . . . get it over IM tonight . . . . tell her you want to hear her voice

also, don't worry that she made other plans w/ the friends; you don't wanna sweat her too much anyway, and come off as too clingy; but at the same time, you don't want to seem standoffish . . .

anyway, all the things you wanted to talk to her about today will only make things more full interesting next time . . . and the whole social awkwardness is another natural part of this; I get the same way . . . it's really you putting the pressure on yourself; you two aren't offically an 'item' yet so it's a weird spot, socially, but you and her know better ;)

[Superman79]

No, I didn't get it. Much like with asking her on a date, getting her number isn't something i feel comfortable asking her as soon as i see her in the morning, or when her friends are around. It's something that I've been waiting to ask when we say goodbye to each other. The problem with that is she ran off with her friends after class today before i got the chance to even talk to her. She had invited me yesterday to join her and her friends at the gym today, but then said that it all depends on one of her friends, so their plans could change. Unfortunately for me, their plans changed and that worked against me. So everything I was going to talk to her about after class went to waste since i didn't have the chance to speak to her.

But hey, maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. I really feel like I have to step my game up because at this point, it really shouldn't be hard for me. I need to work around my awkwardness around others and just focus on her.

My old football coach had a great saying I remember to this day:

"Excuses are like a**holes, everyone's got one, and they all stink"

What I'm sayin here is no excuses. You could have gotten her number at any time. Yeah it's easier when saying goodbye, but you could very well ask for it before class:

"Hey Becky-Sue! You know, I was gonna call you last night and tell you about the crazy thing my nephew did last night, cause I thought you'd think it was as funny as I did. But I went to call you and realized I didn't have your number, so why don't we remedy that now before I forget later..."

Bingo...she gives it, you have it, and you can carry on with your day like normal, regardless of if you spend more time with her that day or not.

Best part is, you have the number, you can call her and ask her out without having to wait for classes and opportunities.

Basically, sack up and ask her for it, just do it in a fun playful way and it won't matter when you ask for it during a conversation.

EDIT: The suggested number asking approach could also be used via IM IF she IM's you first...don't IM her specifically to get the number...THAT would be awkward

[DV8]

Dude, don't offer to buy girls drinks in a club as your starter. Every loser guy is doing that and in her eyes, you are just being like the next generic guy. You have to be unique man. You have to come from a different angle.

yeah, hahaha, there's this saying that when in the club you're either a sucker (the guy buying the drinks) or a fker (the guy who bones the girls that are now conveniently wasted thanks to the former) :O

[amazingfantasy15]

Things are bouncing back and forth because you are in a sort of awkward plane where you're not really seeing each other, or dating, or a couple, but there is an underlying tension/connection/attraction between you two and you're both feeling out where things are right now. Hence the different actions depending on a situation. That and lets face it, even if you'd been dating for 4 years no one likes the overly PDA couples...

Just ask her out, get her on a date or two and it will dissipate as you will then be more established publicly and privately so as to worry about a behavioral "line" in how you treat each other.

Ask her out, keep on going, and you'll get past this into a more comfortable setting. Trust me. You'll be fine.

Now the important question...did you get her number/ask her out today?

Yeah, listen to this SpideyVille, this is what's happening. Everything is good right now, but you're still in an awkward stage where you're both not sure where you're at 'cause it's so early. While this isn't the same type of situation it still kinda applies, a few years ago I got a job at the place where one of my best friends worked, we acted much different to each other at work than we did when we hung out outside of work. The enviroment was different and called for us to act differently around each other, we couldn't laugh about our dumb friends and drunk college stories like we did normally, we had to be professional.

Just keep it cool and be happy that she's so cool around you when you're alone, that's what you really want. Don't worry about why she didn't hang out with you yesterday, she has her own life just like you. She made sure to show a sign that she's interested by hugging you that's important. Did you ask her out today? If you didn't I'm almost thinking your should if she IMs today, but only if she IMs you first. Or ask for her number and ask her out on the phone.

Stop freaking out about her actions in class, everything is going great where it matters. Don't let this awkwardness in class sway you from the course you're on.

[jaguarr]

yeah, hahaha, there's this saying that when in the club you're either a sucker (the guy buying the drinks) or a fker (the guy who bones the girls that are now conveniently wasted thanks to the former) :O

When I was single and cruising the bars (God, that was a long time ago), I used to introduce myself to a woman I found attractive and ask her what kind of drink she was going to buy me. Sometimes I'd make it a challenge and say "You buy the drink and whatever it is, I'll drink it!" Sometimes they showed class and bought me something really nice, which told me that they were interested AND had taste. Other times they'd buy me something nasty like a Wagon Wheel or a Rusty Nail and I could still get points by drinking it anyway. Sometimes they'd watch me drink that nasty thing and then tell me to get lost. Other times they'd just tell me to get lost without buying me a drink. No matter what, though, I always found it amusing and that tactic got me laid more than a few times. Not many guys will go up to a woman and ask them to buy THEM a drink. It's nearly ALWAYS the other way around. I remember one woman in particular who was a big wine buff. She knew more about wine than anyone I'd ever met before or since. She bought several different bottles for us to try, told me all about each of them and what made them special or unique and why she loved them. It was interesting as hell and I learned a lot from her about wine and she enjoyed sharing her knowledge. Then she took me back to her place and drained me like a damn vampire. Wine apparently made her very horny, too. :D That was the first time I'd ever been with a woman who was a squirter. :wow:

The point is, sometimes finding a unique spin on an old pick-up standard can yield some very interesting results. Get creative. Be bold. :up:

jag

[DV8]

When I was single and cruising the bars (God, that was a long time ago), I used to introduce myself to a woman I found attractive and ask her what kind of drink she was going to buy me. Sometimes I'd make it a challenge and say "You buy the drink and whatever it is, I'll drink it!" Sometimes they showed class and bought me something really nice, which told me that they were interested AND had taste. Other times they'd buy me something nasty like a Wagon Wheel or a Rusty Nail and I could still get points by drinking it anyway. Sometimes they'd watch me drink that nasty thing and then tell me to get lost. Other times they'd just tell me to get lost without buying me a drink. No matter what, though, I always found it amusing and that tactic got me laid more than a few times. Not many guys will go up to a woman and ask them to buy THEM a drink. It's nearly ALWAYS the other way around. I remember one woman in particular who was a big wine buff. She knew more about wine than anyone I'd ever met before or since. She bought several different bottles for us to try, told me all about each of them and what made them special or unique and why she loved them. It was interesting as hell and I learned a lot from her about wine and she enjoyed sharing her knowledge. Then she took me back to her place and drained me like a damn vampire. Wine apparently made her very horny, too. :D That was the first time I'd ever been with a woman who was a squirter. :wow:

The point is, sometimes finding a unique spin on an old pick-up standard can yield some very interesting results. Get creative. Be bold. :up:

jag

LMFAO!!! exactly . . . jag speaks words of wisdom yet again during today's 'Clubbin Wit Style' Lecture in class today :up: :up:

[Superman79]

When I was single and cruising the bars (God, that was a long time ago), I used to introduce myself to a woman I found attractive and ask her what kind of drink she was going to buy me. Sometimes I'd make it a challenge and say "You buy the drink and whatever it is, I'll drink it!" Sometimes they showed class and bought me something really nice, which told me that they were interested AND had taste. Other times they'd buy me something nasty like a Wagon Wheel or a Rusty Nail and I could still get points by drinking it anyway. Sometimes they'd watch me drink that nasty thing and then tell me to get lost. Other times they'd just tell me to get lost without buying me a drink. No matter what, though, I always found it amusing and that tactic got me laid more than a few times. Not many guys will go up to a woman and ask them to buy THEM a drink. It's nearly ALWAYS the other way around. I remember one woman in particular who was a big wine buff. She knew more about wine than anyone I'd ever met before or since. She bought several different bottles for us to try, told me all about each of them and what made them special or unique and why she loved them. It was interesting as hell and I learned a lot from her about wine and she enjoyed sharing her knowledge. Then she took me back to her place and drained me like a damn vampire. Wine apparently made her very horny, too. That was the first time I'd ever been with a woman who was a squirter.

The point is, sometimes finding a unique spin on an old pick-up standard can yield some very interesting results. Get creative. Be bold.

jag
^^ I have GOT to get out to wine country!! :eek:

[uchiha_itachi]

Man i wana go out and try these things asap lol thts awesomness right there Jag! :D

[jaguarr]

I will say this; more often than not, I have found that a nice glass or three of Merlot, Pinot Noir, Zinfandel or Cabernet can serve as a very efficient conduit between you and a woman's yummy parts. Red wine is truly the elixir of the gods. :up:

It can pay to become an expert on things like wine, brandies, cigars, and so forth. I have a buddy who has met more women through his love of cigars than you'd possibly imagine. Either they're already into cigars or find them sexy, provocative and interesting and want to learn about them. Hiss expensive cigars and a glass of cognac has pulled a lot of very classy women who loved to be deliciously not-so-classy behind closed doors his way.

jag

[amazingfantasy15]

yeah, hahaha, there's this saying that when in the club you're either a sucker (the guy buying the drinks) or a fker (the guy who bones the girls that are now conveniently wasted thanks to the former) :O

Yeah, I'd never use a drink as my "opening line", after we're talking for a while though and I notice we both have empty drinks I'll ask if she wants another and pay for it.

[Superman79]

I will say this; more often than not, I have found that a nice glass or three of Merlot, Pinot Noir, Zinfandel or Cabernet can serve as a very efficient conduit between you and a woman's yummy parts. Red wine is truly the elixir of the gods. :up:

It can pay to become an expert on things like wine, brandies, cigars, and so forth. I have a buddy who has met more women through his love of cigars than you'd possibly imagine. Either they're already into cigars or find them sexy, provocative and interesting and want to learn about them. Hiss expensive cigars and a glass of cognac has pulled a lot of very classy women who loved to be deliciously not-so-classy behind closed doors his way.

jag

I wish more chicks liked scotch...

[jaguarr]

Honestly, the best opening line I ever found was "Hi, my name is Jag. What's yours?", said with a big smile. It's simple and straightforward and works in damn near any situation you'd ever find yourself in.

jag

[jaguarr]

I wish more chicks liked scotch...

The ones that do are either very high class, very complicated or complete alcoholics (or all three).

jag

[Mee]

Honestly, the best opening line I ever found was "Hi, my name is Jag. What's yours?", said with a big smile. It's simple and straightforward and works in damn near any situation you'd ever find yourself in.

jag
I'd imagine the usual response is "what kinda name is Jag?:huh:"

[jaguarr]

I'd imagine the usual response is "what kinda name is Jag?:huh:"

I knew you'd take the bait on that, fish.

jag

[Superman79]

The ones that do are either very high class, very complicated or complete alcoholics (or all three).

jag

My kinda girl :p

Though scotch does serve its purpose (outside of being a delicious alcoholic beverage) most women will inquire what it is, which leads to an innocent drink discussion, which leads to further discussion, which depending on the night, leads to a "sleepover" :D

Though I do wish I could meet a girl who really appreciated scotch...just so I had someone to talk about it with (none of my guy friends drink it either...)

[DV8]

Yeah, I'd never use a drink as my "opening line", after we're talking for a while though and I notice we both have empty drinks I'll ask if she wants another and pay for it.

exactly . . . that ***** needs to earn that drink!!! :cmad: :o :D

[SpideyVille]

yeah Spidey, you're in a good spot right now, don't panic; all the things you're feeling are natural; but don't beat yourself up; you're building things up a little too much I think . . . at this point, there's no reason you shouldn't have the number . . . get it over IM tonight . . . . tell her you want to hear her voice

also, don't worry that she made other plans w/ the friends; you don't wanna sweat her too much anyway, and come off as too clingy; but at the same time, you don't want to seem standoffish . . .

anyway, all the things you wanted to talk to her about today will only make things more full interesting next time . . . and the whole social awkwardness is another natural part of this; I get the same way . . . it's really you putting the pressure on yourself; you two aren't offically an 'item' yet so it's a weird spot, socially, but you and her know better ;)
Yea, I feel like everything is there in my reach, I'm just not stretching far enough to grab it. And it's hard for me since I've never been here before, while i know she has a few times. So it's like she's expecting me to make a move that I'm not sure how to make. But at this point, I'm pretty sure my intentions are clear and she knows i like her.

But ok, hopefully she IMs me tonight. One thing I hate though is that she usually falls asleep and remains idle before I can say goodnight, so things just end.

My old football coach had a great saying I remember to this day:

"Excuses are like a**holes, everyone's got one, and they all stink"

What I'm sayin here is no excuses. You could have gotten her number at any time. Yeah it's easier when saying goodbye, but you could very well ask for it before class:

"Hey Becky-Sue! You know, I was gonna call you last night and tell you about the crazy thing my nephew did last night, cause I thought you'd think it was as funny as I did. But I went to call you and realized I didn't have your number, so why don't we remedy that now before I forget later..."

Bingo...she gives it, you have it, and you can carry on with your day like normal, regardless of if you spend more time with her that day or not.

Best part is, you have the number, you can call her and ask her out without having to wait for classes and opportunities.

Basically, sack up and ask her for it, just do it in a fun playful way and it won't matter when you ask for it during a conversation.

EDIT: The suggested number asking approach could also be used via IM IF she IM's you first...don't IM her specifically to get the number...THAT would be awkward
Yea, it's kinda like basketball for me. I want to take the shot, but I'm trying to wait until I'm open. But at the same time I have to get my shot off before the shot clock runs off. So I guess i have no choice but to just shoot and hope it goes in.
Yeah, listen to this SpideyVille, this is what's happening. Everything is good right now, but you're still in an awkward stage where you're both not sure where you're at 'cause it's so early. While this isn't the same type of situation it still kinda applies, a few years ago I got a job at the place where one of my best friends worked, we acted much different to each other at work than we did when we hung out outside of work. The enviroment was different and called for us to act differently around each other, we couldn't laugh about our dumb friends and drunk college stories like we did normally, we had to be professional.

Just keep it cool and be happy that she's so cool around you when you're alone, that's what you really want. Don't worry about why she didn't hang out with you yesterday, she has her own life just like you. She made sure to show a sign that she's interested by hugging you that's important. Did you ask her out today? If you didn't I'm almost thinking your should if she IMs today, but only if she IMs you first. Or ask for her number and ask her out on the phone.

Stop freaking out about her actions in class, everything is going great where it matters. Don't let this awkwardness in class sway you from the course you're on.
Yea, the thing is I felt like us hanging out was a one time thing until I ask her again, but with the way her friends treat it, it's like it's supposed to be a usual thing now. So it felt like i didn't have to ask her out, since it almost seemed like it's expected that we'd go out. But now I know better and I have to just ask.

[jaguarr]

My kinda girl :p

Though scotch does serve its purpose (outside of being a delicious alcoholic beverage) most women will inquire what it is, which leads to an innocent drink discussion, which leads to further discussion, which depending on the night, leads to a "sleepover" :D

Though I do wish I could meet a girl who really appreciated scotch...just so I had someone to talk about it with (none of my guy friends drink it either...)

It's magic when you find the right girl that you click with on nearly every level imaginable, even more obscure things that no one else around you or women you've previously met had no interest in. Not a day goes by that I don't thank the stars for bringing my wife and I together. She's such an amazing mixture of class, beauty, integrity, and an appreciation for so many of the finer things in life that I have interest in as well. Can't recommend a relationship like ours enough to those who are lucky enough to find it. :up:

jag

[Superman79]

Yea, I feel like everything is there in my reach, I'm just not stretching far enough to grab it. And it's hard for me since I've never been here before, while i know she has a few times. So it's like she's expecting me to make a move that I'm not sure how to make. But at this point, I'm pretty sure my intentions are clear and she knows i like her.

But ok, hopefully she IMs me tonight. One thing I hate though is that she usually falls asleep and remains idle before I can say goodnight, so things just end.


Yea, it's kinda like basketball for me. I want to take the shot, but I'm trying to wait until I'm open. But at the same time I have to get my shot off before the shot clock runs off. So I guess i have no choice but to just shoot and hope it goes in.

Yea, the thing is I felt like us hanging out was a one time thing until I ask her again, but with the way her friends treat it, it's like it's supposed to be a usual thing now. So it felt like i didn't have to ask her out, since it almost seemed like it's expected that we'd go out. But now I know better and I have to just ask.Spidey, what did I tell you about keeping the IM sessions short. You should say goodbye long before she passes out. Make up an excuse if need be, or as I said, ask for the number immediatly upon her IM...just say "Hey I'm glad you IM'd. I meant to call you tonight, but realized I hadn't gotten your number..."

Then bingo's your dog, your in. :up:

Then call her and ASK HER THE **** OUT!!!!!

(Consider that a verbal football slap to the ass)

[Superman79]

It's magic when you find the right girl that you click with on nearly every level imaginable, even more obscure things that no one else around you or women you've previously met had no interest in. Not a day goes by that I don't thank the stars for bringing my wife and I together. She's such an amazing mixture of class, beauty, integrity, and an appreciation for so many of the finer things in life that I have interest in as well. Can't recommend a relationship like ours enough to those who are lucky enough to find it. :up:

jag

Relationships are well and good, as we've seen I try to help such things...frankly though, all I really want/have time for right now is an attractive drinking buddy (possibly w/ benefits ;))

[jaguarr]

Relationships are well and good, as we've seen I try to help such things...frankly though, all I really want/have time for right now is an attractive drinking buddy (possibly w/ benefits ;))

You're like my buddy who's into cigars and cognac. He's got himself a little standing harem of women who like to smoke cigars and drink cognac with him and then snog a bit, no real major strings attached. That's exactly what he wants at this point in his life. Certainly not unattainable for you to find a woman like that who's into Scotch. Scotch is usually something older women are into though; usually ones with some money. You might find yourself a little sugar mamma that way. :hehe: Best to frequent bars that are a little more upper-crust to find the kind of woman who's into Scotch. You won't find her any place that serves jello shots, for example. :oldrazz:

jag

[SpideyVille]

Spidey, what did I tell you about keeping the IM sessions short. You should say goodbye long before she passes out. Make up an excuse if need be, or as I said, ask for the number immediatly upon her IM...just say "Hey I'm glad you IM'd. I meant to call you tonight, but realized I hadn't gotten your number..."

Then bingo's your dog, your in. :up:

Then call her and ASK HER THE **** OUT!!!!!

(Consider that a verbal football slap to the ass)
I know, and I kept it short the first time (though that was only because it was already 1am), but the last 2 times things just felt so differently, like we were both being more openly and not talking about school or hw. It just felt nice to talk to her.

But ok, if she im's me at a fairly early time, I'll ask for the number. I can even tell her it's better that way since she always falls asleep when we IM each other.:woot:

[Superman79]

You're like my buddy who's into cigars and cognac. He's got himself a little standing harem of women who like to smoke cigars and drink cognac with him and then snog a bit, no real major strings attached. That's exactly what he wants at this point in his life. Certainly not unattainable for you to find a woman like that who's into Scotch. Scotch is usually something older women are into though; usually ones with some money. You might find yourself a little sugar mamma that way. :hehe: Best to frequent bars that are a little more upper-crust to find the kind of woman who's into Scotch. You won't find her any place that serves jello shots, for example. :oldrazz:

jag

True. I do need to expend my prowling area...but part of me really hates to leave the nubile young co-eds who are easily impressed by experience (or a law degree)...:p

[Superman79]

I know, and I kept it short the first time (though that was only because it was already 1am), but the last 2 times things just felt so differently, like we were both being more openly and not talking about school or hw. It just felt nice to talk to her.

But ok, if she im's me at a fairly early time, I'll ask for the number. I can even tell her it's better that way since she always falls asleep when we IM each other.:woot:


There you go...tease her about it. Turn it into flirtation. You ARE learning :up:

[amazingfantasy15]

Spidey, what did I tell you about keeping the IM sessions short. You should say goodbye long before she passes out. Make up an excuse if need be, or as I said, ask for the number immediatly upon her IM...just say "Hey I'm glad you IM'd. I meant to call you tonight, but realized I hadn't gotten your number..."

Then bingo's your dog, your in. :up:

Then call her and ASK HER THE **** OUT!!!!!

(Consider that a verbal football slap to the ass)

He's getting there though, at least he seems to be listening and making real progress. Unlike other previous posters (and no I'm not talking about Angel Farie, she used the advice just had bad luck)

[Erzengel]

Spiderville, the opportunity is there, you just are trying to wait for the perfect opportunity when like it or not, it may not be one you envision.

But when she came back and hugged you the other day, you could have asked her then. It takes a few seconds. You don't need a half an hour with her to get her number.

[SpideyVille]

There you go...tease her about it. Turn it into flirtation. You ARE learning :up:
Yea, I guess I am :woot:

The only thing I hate is that I would much rather prefer to do this in person, but since it hasn't been working for me lately, I don't want to take that chance.

Also, last week I suggested that I might ask her to go see a school play for extra credit in one of out classes (which shows tomorrow night). I never asked her to it, but I overheard her friends and her talking about going to it. So should I ask her what she's doing and try to get her to invite me (or invite myself to it), or should I just try to stay away from that and focus on something for during the weekend?

[SpideyVille]

Spiderville, the opportunity is there, you just are trying to wait for the perfect opportunity when like it or not, it may not be one you envision.

But when she came back and hugged you the other day, you could have asked her then. It takes a few seconds. You don't need a half an hour with her to get her number.
Yea I know, that's the thing I really hate about myself. I plan on asking in one situation, but when that doesn't happen, another one shows up, but it happens so unexpectedly that I don't take advantage of it.

I could have easily grabbed her by the hand and asked her before she walked away. Instead I just stood there like an idiot and said bye. I really need to make sure I'm prepared to make a move at all times.

[Erzengel]

Spontaneity is a myth at least with me. Everything is prep time and I already have 10 contingencies for any possible outcome. :o :up:

[DV8]

Spiderville, the opportunity is there, you just are trying to wait for the perfect opportunity when like it or not, it may not be one you envision.

But when she came back and hugged you the other day, you could have asked her then. It takes a few seconds. You don't need a half an hour with her to get her number.

heh . . . Erz told you like a little kid being called by his first, middle, and last name in trouble :hehe:

[SpideyVille]

Spontaneity is a myth at least with me. Everything is prep time and I already have 10 contingencies for any possible outcome. :o :up:
Yea, that's why I was really freaked out when her friends told her to hang out with me yesterday, since I wasn't expecting it and didn't know what we could've done together on such short notice.

[Superman79]

Yea, I guess I am :woot:

The only thing I hate is that I would much rather prefer to do this in person, but since it hasn't been working for me lately, I don't want to take that chance.

Also, last week I suggested that I might ask her to go see a school play for extra credit in one of out classes (which shows tomorrow night). I never asked her to it, but I overheard her friends and her talking about going to it. So should I ask her what she's doing and try to get her to invite me (or invite myself to it), or should I just try to stay away from that and focus on something for during the weekend?

Oy. Here I give you a compliment and you go and get like this.

We'd all prefer to do things in person, but sometimes it just don't work out that way and if we wait, something else gets in the way. Just ask her.

As for the play, if you wanna ask her to go, ask her and then try to set up a real date for Saturday or something...don't try and weasel your way into it, ask her to it. If she's going with her friends she'll likely invite you and there you go. Get her number the first chance you have (even if it happens to be on IM) and ask her out the first chance you have (even if it has to be on the phone). The longer you wait, the more chance you stand of alienating her by making her wonder why you're making her wait.

Stop with the waiting and fretting and just do it.

[Erzengel]

Well I tend over think a lot of things in my life, but not necessarily obsessively, just in a way that what if this happen, or this? And when things change, I'm almost prepared for it.

It's kinda like a welcomed flaw.

[Superman79]

Yea, that's why I was really freaked out when her friends told her to hang out with me yesterday, since I wasn't expecting it and didn't know what we could've done together on such short notice.

That's why you have to learn to roll with the punches and punt sometimes. Erz is right, prep is great, but sometimes you get blindsided, when you do, you have to act and act decisively.

[amazingfantasy15]

Yea, I guess I am :woot:

The only thing I hate is that I would much rather prefer to do this in person, but since it hasn't been working for me lately, I don't want to take that chance.

Also, last week I suggested that I might ask her to go see a school play for extra credit in one of out classes (which shows tomorrow night). I never asked her to it, but I overheard her friends and her talking about going to it. So should I ask her what she's doing and try to get her to invite me (or invite myself to it), or should I just try to stay away from that and focus on something for during the weekend?

Don't try to get her to invite you or invite yourself, if it comes up naturally and she mentions you should go with her and her friends maybe go or you could say you'd like to, but have plans already and ask her out for a different night. You probably don't want to go out with her when you're with her friends right now though cause that's gonna put unneeded pressure and awkwardness on both of you, as they'll definitely be looking at you two most of the time.

[SpideyVille]

Well I tend over think a lot of things in my life, but not necessarily obsessively, just in a way that what if this happen, or this? And when things change, I'm almost prepared for it.

It's kinda like a welcomed flaw.
Yea, I'm the same way. Except I've seen that when you try and think what you would do if a certain situation arises, then the chances of it happening greatly decreases. That's why I tried to stop thinking like that, but then again that just leaves me unprepared for most things that end up happening.:csad:

[SpideyVille]

Don't try to get her to invite you or invite yourself, if it comes up naturally and she mentions you should go with her and her friends maybe go or you could say you'd like to, but have plans already and ask her out for a different night. You probably don't want to go out with her when you're with her friends right now though cause that's gonna put unneeded pressure and awkwardness on both of you, as they'll definitely be looking at you two most of the time.
The way I see it is it's a plus since I'm hanging with her during non-school hours, but the minus is it's not with her alone and most likely with her friends around, I won't try to make any moves so it'll be like a friendly hang out.

[amazingfantasy15]

The way I see it is it's a plus since I'm hanging with her during non-school hours, but the minus is it's not with her alone and most likely with her friends around, I won't try to make any moves so it'll be like a friendly hang out.

See that's the thing you're gonna be nervous 'cause her friends are all around and it'll make things more awkward at this point in the game. You need to keep things one on one, you're doing well with that and you're comfortable around her like that. Add friends to the mix before you're in a more established relationship, things will be awkward and you have a chance greater chance of messing up the relationship as a whole or ending up in the friend's zone. Keep it one on one outside of class/off campus until the relationship is more defined.

[SpideyVille]

See that's the thing you're gonna be nervous 'cause her friends are all around and it'll make things more awkward at this point in the game. You need to keep things one on one, you're doing well with that and you're comfortable around her like that. Add friends to the mix before you're in a more established relationship, things will be awkward and you have a chance greater chance of messing up the relationship as a whole or ending up in the friend's zone. Keep it one on one outside of class/off campus until the relationship is more defined.

Yea, the only condition I would want her friends around would be if it was like a double date or triple date. Other than that, I really prefer to be just with her because anything else will just make me nervous and uneasy, especially since it's so easy for others to upstage me when I'm not comfortable with them.

[Superman79]

Yea, the only condition I would want her friends around would be if it was like a double date or triple date. Other than that, I really prefer to be just with her because anything else will just make me nervous and uneasy, especially since it's so easy for others to upstage me when I'm not comfortable with them.

Well if that is the case, then you need to get that number and you need to ask her out soon. That's the only way to guarantee alone time with her to 'hammer out' the relationship. Nuff' Said.

[jaguarr]

True. I do need to expend my prowling area...but part of me really hates to leave the nubile young co-eds who are easily impressed by experience (or a law degree)...:p

Ahhh, but see....playing the part of the nubile, educated, eager-to-learn young man in a setting with older women with money can lead to some interesting experiences and, often, a hell of an education you'd never realized was possible. :up:

jag

[DV8]

Ahhh, but see....playing the part of the nubile, educated, eager-to-learn young man in a setting with older women with money can lead to some interesting experiences and, often, a hell of an education you'd never realized was possible. :up:

jag

http://www.movieposter.com/posters/archive/main/31/b70-15688

;)

[Superman79]

Ahhh, but see....playing the part of the nubile, educated, eager-to-learn young man in a setting with older women with money can lead to some interesting experiences and, often, a hell of an education you'd never realized was possible. :up:

jag

Touche. I may just have to go prowling this weekend...:D

[Speedball]

Alright...so...
I'm trying to start this relationship with this guy...I think it's going ok...but I just got tonsillitis and he's a music major and a singer...so I can't go near him...
Is that gonna hurt my chances, because I'm supposed to be better by...saturday, my guess, and I'm going to be camping then...

[DV8]

Alright...so...
I'm trying to start this relationship with this guy...I think it's going ok...but I just got tonsillitis and he's a music major and a singer...so I can't go near him...
Is that gonna hurt my chances, because I'm supposed to be better by...saturday, my guess, and I'm going to be camping then...

well that's simple; it depends on how much he really likes you and how understanding he is . . . let him know you're being honest, you're sick, don't wanna get him sick and you'll make it up to him when you're better . . .

[SpideyVille]

Well if that is the case, then you need to get that number and you need to ask her out soon. That's the only way to guarantee alone time with her to 'hammer out' the relationship. Nuff' Said.

Well then I guess all I can do now is wait for her to get online and hope she IMs me so I can ask for it.

[omid17]

Well then I guess all I can do now is wait for her to get online and hope she IMs me so I can ask for it.just be carefull man, im's can really eff you over, im saying this because i made a mistake like that in the past. But if you do choose to ask for her number online, make sure you don't bring up to quick, just chat with her a lil bit than ask

[SpideyVille]

just be carefull man, im's can really eff you over, im saying this because i made a mistake like that in the past. But if you do choose to ask for her number online, make sure you don't bring up to quick, just chat with her a lil bit than ask
I know what you mean, been there before myself. That's why i'm so hesitant to do it this way, but it's either this way or take a chance tmr when i might not see her.

[omid17]

I know what you mean, been there before myself. That's why i'm so hesitant to do it this way, but it's either this way or take a chance tmr when i might not see her.don't worry man im sure you'll get it :up:

[SpideyVille]

don't worry man im sure you'll get it :up:
Thanks, and i really hope so too. But if there's one thing I've learned is that it's best not to count your chickens before they hatch. So no mater how confident I can be, I still know that nothing is guaranteed.

[omid17]

Thanks, and i really hope so too. But if there's one thing I've learned is that it's best not to count your chickens before they hatch. So no mater how confident I can be, I still know that nothing is guaranteed.your right dude, never get your hopes high on a girl

[amazingfantasy15]

Alright...so...
I'm trying to start this relationship with this guy...I think it's going ok...but I just got tonsillitis and he's a music major and a singer...so I can't go near him...
Is that gonna hurt my chances, because I'm supposed to be better by...saturday, my guess, and I'm going to be camping then...

If you tell him you're sick and het he's pissed off and doesn't want to see you anymore, he's an ass and you're better off without him.

[DV8]

Well then I guess all I can do now is wait for her to get online and hope she IMs me so I can ask for it.

well, you could IM her first, there's an idea . . .

[DV8]

ok, spidey . . . to be honest, you don't even really need the phone number at this point; you got her on IM . . . you see her almost everyday in class . . . you're making this phone number thing a kind of obligatory conquest, and really I think you need to concentrate on moving the date thing along first . . . .

once you get the date underway, you can make a solid move like a kiss; this launches you out of the friend zone and on to the next level where you guys can really get more comfortable w/ each other and yes: GET IT ON!!

anyway, it would be going against the grain and almost being more original by NOT asking for the number . . . do what you do, buddy :up:

[SpideyVille]

your right dude, never get your hopes high on a girl
Yeah, I'd like to think I already learned that the hard way.
well, you could IM her first, there's an idea . . .
I could, but wouldn't that make me look bad since it's like i couldn't get it in person.

[SpideyVille]

ok, spidey . . . to be honest, you don't even really need the phone number at this point; you got her on IM . . . you see her almost everyday in class . . . you're making this phone number thing a kind of obligatory conquest, and really I think you need to concentrate on moving the date thing along first . . . .

once you get the date underway, you can make a solid move like a kiss; this launches you out of the friend zone and on to the next level where you guys can really get more comfortable w/ each other and yes: GET IT ON!!

anyway, it would be going against the grain and almost being more original by NOT asking for the number . . . do what you do, buddy :up:
I guess, but isn't IM more limiting since I have to wait for her to get on, rather talking to her at any moment.

But yea, I see ur point, and I like it :woot::up:

[DV8]

I guess, but isn't IM more limiting since I have to wait for her to get on, rather talking to her at any moment.

But yea, I see ur point, and I like it :woot::up:

good . . . the message if more important than the words

[Superman79]

I guess, but isn't IM more limiting since I have to wait for her to get on, rather talking to her at any moment.

But yea, I see ur point, and I like it :woot::up:

The whole reason the rest of us were pushing the phone number so hard is that your missing chances to ask her out in person (like today for example) and we wanted you to have a way to do so soon, without the excuses.

Frankly, If you can ask for the date tomorrow you should (and frankly, you damn well better...the clock is ticking...remember, if she has an inkling that you like her, shes got to be wondering why the hell you haven't asked her out yet...and that's gonna make her antsy...

[The Original Bamfer]

:hehe:

[SpideyVille]

The whole reason the rest of us were pushing the phone number so hard is that your missing chances to ask her out in person (like today for example) and we wanted you to have a way to do so soon, without the excuses.

Frankly, If you can ask for the date tomorrow you should (and frankly, you damn well better...the clock is ticking...remember, if she has an inkling that you like her, shes got to be wondering why the hell you haven't asked her out yet...and that's gonna make her antsy...
Well she got home really late today, but she im-ed me again, and we started talking, and she mentioned how she barely uses her phone except for emergencies. So should i still ask her for it? Or just take things from here and ask her out tmr?

[Mac_Hine]

Just get her goddam phone number already Spidey and ask her out! It doesn't even have to be a traditional date. You could do something different like ask her on a low pressure date for the first one so you won't be so nervous. You could say "Hey, I'm going shopping for a new shirt at the mall today. You should tag along and help me pick out a cool shirt." Girls like shopping don't they? I don't know, just do something already or you'll end up in the "let's just be friends" zone. Do it, Do it.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v86/phaze1USA/Owen20Starsky2020Hutch20Signature20.jpg

[Superman79]

Well she got home really late today, but she im-ed me again, and we started talking, and she mentioned how she barely uses her phone except for emergencies. So should i still ask her for it? Or just take things from here and ask her out tmr?

Do what you feel is necessary...at some point you HAVE to get her number, just so if you do start dating you can actually make plans, but ultimately its all about getting the date, so, as I have said before...

ASK HER OUT ALREADY!!!!

If you need further motivation allow me to mention if you wait too long to ask her out, and she knows you are/were interested shes gonna wonder why you didn't ask, and figure maybe you meant to be friends after all...so though you are temporarily clear of the friend zone, you may jump right back into it if you keep taking your damn time...so suck it up and ASK HER THE F**K OUT!!!!


Class dismissed. :o

[Superman79]

Just get her goddam phone number already Spidey and ask her out! It doesn't even have to be a traditional date. You could do something different like ask her on a low pressure date for the first one so you won't be so nervous. You could say "Hey, I'm going shopping for a new shirt at the mall today. You should tag along and help me pick out a cool shirt." Girls like shopping don't they? I don't know, just do something already or you'll end up in the "let's just be friends" zone. Do it, Do it.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v86/phaze1USA/Owen20Starsky2020Hutch20Signature20.jpg


Mac, while your advice is sound, as a bit of a newb here, we're gonna need a curriculum vitae before we can let you give advice in this thread ;) :p

[Erzengel]

Just get her goddam phone number already Spidey and ask her out! It doesn't even have to be a traditional date. You could do something different like ask her on a low pressure date for the first one so you won't be so nervous. You could say "Hey, I'm going shopping for a new shirt at the mall today. You should tag along and help me pick out a cool shirt." Girls like shopping don't they? I don't know, just do something already or you'll end up in the "let's just be friends" zone. Do it, Do it.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v86/phaze1USA/Owen20Starsky2020Hutch20Signature20.jpg
I need a shirt and you should help me pick one out, seems so obvious and while I feel he should be aggressive with his pursuit, there's a difference between blatant and subtle and to the point.

[Cunning Stunts]

Well she got home really late today, but she im-ed me again, and we started talking, and she mentioned how she barely uses her phone except for emergencies. So should i still ask her for it? Or just take things from here and ask her out tmr?

It doesn't really matter which you do first in most cases, but in the place you're at, just ask her out. Look at it this way, if she says yes, then you should definitely get the phone number:up:.

[SpideyVille]

So uh, ... i got her number :woot:

She im'ed me really late last night, and we we're talking almost into the morning. It started off as a serious convo, but by the end of the night it was almost as if we knew what was on each other's minds. We both felt like we were two of a kind. But it was getting late so i told her we should get a table alone together after our class today and continue the discussion. And she was alright with that.

So even though she came really late to class, since we were both up all night chatting, afterwards she moved away from her friends and i picked out a table for us to sit at. Her friend was about to sit with us, but then realized we wanted to be alone, so she left. Then her other friend found a table right around us and wanted us to go sit there, but we both decided that we'd rather stay where we were. But we talked for the whole time, about an hour and half, and it was pretty fun. i know I had a good time, and I hope she did too. I mean she was smiling and laughing the whole time. And I saw her friends, since i was facing the side where they were, and it's like they were purposely trying to listen in on us. By the end of the break, they kept grinning and were asking us when's our next date gonna be.

We have no class tomorrow, but we have a class where we need to hand in some work by friday, and since neither of us did it yet, we're both might come tomorrow to bring it in. I told her if she decides to come, then we should both hang out. She said that was alright, and that's when I asked for her number, so I could "know if she's coming tomorrow or not". She gave me her number, but she says she has a prepaid phone that she barely uses or picks up, unless an emergency, but that I should text her instead.

So yea, while it may not be a "real date", we still might do something tomorrow. I figure if she does the thing today and doesn't come tomorrow, then I'll call her tomorrow to do something on saturday.

[SpideyVille]

EDit: double post

[Erzengel]

:up:

First step into a larger world. :)

I think you are in like Flint dude. Honestly with the way her friends carry on about you two, it's apparent to them that you like her and the fact that she rather sit with you and talk to you into the early hours means she digs you too.

So congrats take the night off and continue this in the morning.

[Erzengel]

What are your plans on Saturday, and it better not be dinner and a movie? :o

[Superman79]

So uh, ... i got her number :woot:

She im'ed me really late last night, and we we're talking almost into the morning. It started off as a serious convo, but by the end of the night it was almost as if we knew what was on each other's minds. We both felt like we were two of a kind. But it was getting late so i told her we should get a table alone together after our class today and continue the discussion. And she was alright with that.

So even though she came really late to class, since we were both up all night chatting, afterwards she moved away from her friends and i picked out a table for us to sit at. Her friend was about to sit with us, but then realized we wanted to be alone, so she left. Then her other friend found a table right around us and wanted us to go sit there, but we both decided that we'd rather stay where we were. But we talked for the whole time, about an hour and half, and it was pretty fun. i know I had a good time, and I hope she did too. I mean she was smiling and laughing the whole time. And I saw her friends, since i was facing the side where they were, and it's like they were purposely trying to listen in on us. By the end of the break, they kept grinning and were asking us when's our next date gonna be.

We have no class tomorrow, but we have a class where we need to hand in some work by friday, and since neither of us did it yet, we're both might come tomorrow to bring it in. I told her if she decides to come, then we should both hang out. She said that was alright, and that's when I asked for her number, so I could "know if she's coming tomorrow or not". She gave me her number, but she says she has a prepaid phone that she barely uses or picks up, unless an emergency, but that I should text her instead.

So yea, while it may not be a "real date", we still might do something tomorrow. I figure if she does the thing today and doesn't come tomorrow, then I'll call her tomorrow to do something on saturday.

Nice work Spidey!! :woot:

Now see what it's like when you get her friends to like you?? They back off and don't c**k block you because they are comfortable with who you are and that you'd be good for their friend. :up:

Now, time to score the 'real date' ( I still say Saturday night regardless of what happens Friday)...that or turn your 'hang out' into a real date like lunch and bowling, or something other...though it sounds like your sitting pretty good here. Get her out, have some fun...then we'll deal with the tough stuff like "the first kiss" ;)

[SpideyVille]

:up:

First step into a larger world. :)

I think you are in like Flint dude. Honestly with the way her friends carry on about you two, it's apparent to them that you like her and the fact that she rather sit with you and talk to you into the early hours means she digs you too.

So congrats take the night off and continue this in the morning.
Yea, she's gonna be at the school late today, since she's working out and then is going to a school play later tonight with her friends. So i won't be hearing from her for a while tonight.

But it's weird, I woke up completely tired and nervous, and I could barely eat. And when I asked her what she wanted to eat this morning, she said she felt the same way (aside from the nervous part). It's almost like she was really nervous about things too.

What are your plans on Saturday, and it better not be dinner and a movie? :o
I would like to take a trip into the city since there's plenty of fun things to do there. But I have Bowling as a high preference. And my brother telling me to invite her to go bowling with him and his girlfriend, so it could be like a double date, but I'm not sure if that's the right move for this early.

[Erzengel]

It all depends on her and you, on one hand a "double date" make take the pressure off it being a "first date" however, there is the fact that you 2 could have a more intimate date with just you and her.

But, from what you are telling me, I'm thinking the former might be better. Telling her, we should go bowling with brother and his girlfriend might put her at ease especially since she stated she wanted to go bowling. Then if your brother is a good wing man, he will know when to separate himself from you 2 towards the end of the date. :up:

From here on out, this is going to become more you and your gut reaction. You have been talking to her more and more, put a lot of what she says, likes, dislikes in your memory for future use, etc. After a while, you'll know her pretty well that you won't need us anymore because you will be able to make these decisions on your own. :csad: :up:

[SpideyVille]

Nice work Spidey!! :woot:

Now see what it's like when you get her friends to like you?? They back off and don't c**k block you because they are comfortable with who you are and that you'd be good for their friend. :up:

Now, time to score the 'real date' ( I still say Saturday night regardless of what happens Friday)...that or turn your 'hang out' into a real date like lunch and bowling, or something other...though it sounds like your sitting pretty good here. Get her out, have some fun...then we'll deal with the tough stuff like "the first kiss" ;)
Lol, thanks man :up: But honestly. I'm more worried about just holding her hand, or taking that next intimate step. I mean it's hard to believe, but she is really shy. She's seemed to be like one of the popular chicks when i first saw her, but now I realized that she's a lot like me, and it's really amazing how similar we are. So it's more pressure on me to make that move, not her.

But yea, good call with the friends. It's really been coming in handy. My only issues of ppl getting in the way was everyone else in my class, though a few ppl told me afterwards that they knew we wanted to be alone so they made sure to stay back.

[DV8]

our little Spidey's growin up :( *sniffle*

[SpideyVille]

It all depends on her and you, on one hand a "double date" make take the pressure off it being a "first date" however, there is the fact that you 2 could have a more intimate date with just you and her.

But, from what you are telling me, I'm thinking the former might be better. Telling her, we should go bowling with brother and his girlfriend might put her at ease especially since she stated she wanted to go bowling. Then if your brother is a good wing man, he will know when to separate himself from you 2 towards the end of the date. :up:

From here on out, this is going to become more you and your gut reaction. You have been talking to her more and more, put a lot of what she says, likes, dislikes in your memory for future use, etc. After a while, you'll know her pretty well that you won't need us anymore because you will be able to make these decisions on your own. :csad: :up:
I mean i wouldn't mind it like that, but I just feel like it's me taking her to meet the family, and that seems more like something you do when your in a steady relationship, not when you're trying to start one.

And like I've said before, we both act differently when we're alone than when people are around us, so it might also add to the pressure on both of us.

And yea, I know you guys can only show me the door, but eventually I'll have to go through it myself.

[DV8]

^yeah, Spidey I hear you w/ the family thing but a double date is lot different than meeting the parents and all that stuff . . . it could take a lot of pressure off you and your first real date; but the most important thing I guess is to trust your instincts

[Superman79]

Lol, thanks man :up: But honestly. I'm more worried about just holding her hand, or taking that next intimate step. I mean it's hard to believe, but she is really shy. She's seemed to be like one of the popular chicks when i first saw her, but now I realized that she's a lot like me, and it's really amazing how similar we are. So it's more pressure on me to make that move, not her.

But yea, good call with the friends. It's really been coming in handy. My only issues of ppl getting in the way was everyone else in my class, though a few ppl told me afterwards that they knew we wanted to be alone so they made sure to stay back.

:up:

I must say I agree with Erz, more and more this is gonna be gut reaction...trust yourself to do the right thing and you will...human beings are hardwired for it ;) The double date is a nice call, and it would make it lower pressure like Erz said. You're not asking her to "meet your family" in the traditional sense, nor are you involving any parents here, its just your brother, who happens to be your friend as well, who's going out with his g/f and you two...

Now if you're more comfortable alone, then go that route...just trust your gut.

As for pressure in general, if you're having fun the pressure/tension/whatever won't even be noticed by either of you.

As for the hand holding, go back a few pages, there were some good suggestions there on how to do it, and make it not awkward. (Go! Find posts! Now!)

[SpideyVille]

our little Spidey's growin up :( *sniffle*
I had good parents though :woot:

^yeah, Spidey I hear you w/ the family thing but a double date is lot different than meeting the parents and all that stuff . . . it could take a lot of pressure off you and your first real date; but the most important thing I guess is to trust your instincts
Yea, my brother said he might even bring his kids since she loves kids, and has already met my nephew. But I feel like that's too much, though it could make it easier. lol I really don't know.
:up:

I must say I agree with Erz, more and more this is gonna be gut reaction...trust yourself to do the right thing and you will...human beings are hardwired for it ;) The double date is a nice call, and it would make it lower pressure like Erz said. You're not asking her to "meet your family" in the traditional sense, nor are you involving any parents here, its just your brother, who happens to be your friend as well, who's going out with his g/f and you two...

Now if you're more comfortable alone, then go that route...just trust your gut.

As for pressure in general, if you're having fun the pressure/tension/whatever won't even be noticed by either of you.

As for the hand holding, go back a few pages, there were some good suggestions there on how to do it, and make it not awkward. (Go! Find posts! Now!)
I just feel it's weird though,since my bro is 10 years older than me, and it's pretty much his fiance/wife, who is also like family. And my fear is that my brother might embarrass me or show me up, after all, I've been acting a lot like I've seen him act around girls, so it's almost like she'll see where i get my sense of humor joker attitude.

And yea, we were having a lot of fun today and I really started feeling less pressured as each each minute passed.
Yea, I had a few good chances on Monday, esp when we were in a crowd of kids when we went to pick up my nephew. I could've held her hand to walk through, but I completely blanked out there. :facepalm:

[Erzengel]

You should do what you are comfortable with, if you think your brother will throw different variables/obstacles towards you, trust your instinct and plan something different.

[SpideyVille]

Well I want it to be bowling regardless, it's just a matter on whether or not I want to ask her if she'd be alright going alone or with my brother. But I better check with my brother when he stops by later today.

[omid17]

Well I want it to be bowling regardless, it's just a matter on whether or not I want to ask her if she'd be alright going alone or with my brother. But I better check with my brother when he stops by later today.imo i think it's better if you go alone with her because she would be paying a lot more attention to you, if you know what i mean.

[SpideyVille]

Well she can't go out this weekend since she has a ton of work to do, which is actually understandable since we do have a lot of work to do by this week. But she did say if that wasn't the case, she'd love to go. So i guess i'll have to wait until next weekend when Spring Break starts.

[Angel_Faerie]

Holy *****. Holy *****. HOLY *****!! This day has been a friggin' roller coaster. Let me tell you what happened. I decided to give Colter one last shot by asking him today if he wanted to sit with me at Lunch tomorrow. He said no because he's going to eat at a friend's house tomorrow. I rush off and hide behind a bookshelf in the library (where we were. Our class was working on things in there today) and started sobbing. I stayed there for about 3-4 minutes, still crying quietly, waiting for him to leave so he wouldn't know I was crying. I peek over the corner of the bookshelf and I see Colter talking with his friend. His friend points me out and I hide, still crying. I wrote a blog on my Myspace page as soon as I got to work:


I feel so stupid. What was I thinking? Oh, wait, I know what I was thinking. I was thinking that I should try again to do something with him. Anything. Just to get to know him better to see if we're really compatible. I asked him if he wanted to eat Lunch with me tomorrow. He said no. He said he was pretty sure he was eating over at a friend's house that day. I don't even know if he was telling the truth. And right now it doesn't matter. I feel like I might as well just give up on everything. I keep trying and all I'm getting is nothing. I shouldn't have even bothered. All it did was make me want to cry until there's no more liquid in my system. What's the point of having these felings for him if nothing's going to happen?

I sulk for about an hour, surfing the web, when I go back to my Myspace page. I see that I have a message. It's from Colter. I gasp. I open it, and this is what I found:

Sorry if I hurt your feelings, but I really am going to Tyson's house tomorrow. He just moved into his new house and me him and aaron are going over to eat. But I may be able to eat with you sometime next week.

I'm having a corinary over here. Did he hear me crying?! Does he read my Myspace blog?! AAAH!! I have no idea what to do now!

[DoomRulz]

Sounds like the typical "you like him, he knows you do, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings".

You could confront him when he's alone and tell him straight how you feel. Don't do it in front of his friends. You'll only embarrass him and yourself.

[SpideyVille]

Sounds like the typical "you like him, he knows you do, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings".

You could confront him when he's alone and tell him straight how you feel. Don't do it in front of his friends. You'll only embarrass him and yourself.
Yeah, sounds like a pity move. Honestly, that's worse than being rejected because it' filled with false hope. You end up getting happy over something that's not really there, and it hurts so much more when u see it for urself.

[Angel_Faerie]

There's no way to know for sure, though.

[Gilpesh]

There's no way to know for sure, though.

Without a crapload of drama that could leave you feeling worse.

Listen to DoomRulz.

[SpideyVille]

There's no way to know for sure, though.
There is when you've been through the experience before.

[Erzengel]

There's no way to know for sure, though.

Sweetie, honestly, just walk away. I know it hurts a lot but most of us can relate, empathize with your situation. We've all liked someone who doesn't feel the same way about us. But you are torturing yourself by getting your hopes up.

[The Batman]

There's no way to know for sure, though.

That could be said if you hadnt left a blog talking about how your feelings were crushed...

[Angel_Faerie]

What do you guys suggest I do, then?

[Erzengel]

Move on. Stop investing so much time, feelings, tears on this guy. Try to occupy yourself with other things, don't misinterpret anything he says as something more, and just treat him like some other guy you go to school with.

[Angel_Faerie]

I've tried all that, Erz. Didn't work.

[Superman79]

I've tried all that, Erz. Didn't work.

So then if you feel you can't just walk away, do as Doom suggested.

Get him in a situation when you two are alone. Bare your feelings, and let the chips fall where they may. Just be prepared if he should reject you (which, hon, seems pretty sure to me by his actions...which breaks my heart for you, but thats how it looks). If he should reject you then be prepared for some major hurting, but try to be strong at least while he's around.

If we're wrong and he does like you, then life is good.

Either way...its your only other option if you're not going to walk away.

[Superman79]

Well she can't go out this weekend since she has a ton of work to do, which is actually understandable since we do have a lot of work to do by this week. But she did say if that wasn't the case, she'd love to go. So i guess i'll have to wait until next weekend when Spring Break starts.

Well, at least you asked her out. She knows for sure you dig her, and now its just a schedule thing to take her out. Very nice job young padawan. :up: :woot:

I'm so very proud of ya. Now just remember, don't be too clingy as you start this new endeavor. You'll do great.

[Superman79]

Move on. Stop investing so much time, feelings, tears on this guy. Try to occupy yourself with other things, don't misinterpret anything he says as something more, and just treat him like some other guy you go to school with.

Maybe we should just let her bare her soul to him. I empathize as much as you do, but I think Angel needs to see this first hand to really understand, and as much as we want to, we can't protect her. :(

Sometimes, when the toddler is walking toward the outlet with a butter knife for the 12th time, you gotta just let them learn from their own experience :csad:

[Gilpesh]

Sometimes, when the toddler is walking toward the outlet with a butter knife for the 12th time, you gotta just let them learn from their own experience :csad:

"Bet you're not going to do that again, are ya?" -Christopher Titus' dad.

[Angel_Faerie]

So then if you feel you can't just walk away, do as Doom suggested.

Get him in a situation when you two are alone. Bare your feelings, and let the chips fall where they may. Just be prepared if he should reject you (which, hon, seems pretty sure to me by his actions...which breaks my heart for you, but thats how it looks). If he should reject you then be prepared for some major hurting, but try to be strong at least while he's around.

If we're wrong and he does like you, then life is good.

Either way...its your only other option if you're not going to walk away.

I don't wanna walk away. It's just not an option. I try really hard, but I just can't do it fully.Even when I WANT to walk away, I can't. I don't want to tell him everything yet, either. I'm worried about freaking him out. I don't want him to avoid me forever and I don't want the "just friends" bullcrap.

[SpideyVille]

Well, at least you asked her out. She knows for sure you dig her, and now its just a schedule thing to take her out. Very nice job young padawan. :up: :woot:

I'm so very proud of ya. Now just remember, don't be too clingy as you start this new endeavor. You'll do great.
Thanks, that really means a lot :woot:

But for some reason I feel like I'm gonna need a lot of patience. She's been opening up little by little about her ex, and how they were together for 4 years, and how she loved him, but wasn't "in love" with him and had to let him go. But i feel like her little distance with me is coming from that breakup. Like it happened maybe a month ago, and even though she's really proud about it, i can't help but feel like there's something deeper there. She also talked about how he was her best friend and they did everything together, as if he was her shadow. I honestly don't know why she would even bring this up in the first place, esp if she's so happy it's over.

[Cunning Stunts]

I don't wanna walk away. It's just not an option. I try really hard, but I just can't do it fully.Even when I WANT to walk away, I can't. I don't want to tell him everything yet, either. I'm worried about freaking him out. I don't want him to avoid me forever and I don't want the "just friends" bullcrap.

I hope you realize, you can walk away, and it almost seems as if you're putting yourself in a position to create more and more drama for yourself.

Leave the boy alone! He [most likely] isn't interested in you. Moving on is the best option- stop telling yourself you can't do it. The minute you say, "I can't," well... You can't.

YOU.CAN.MOVE.ON.

[Harlekin]

I'll say it again: get your heart broken right and proper. You've already wasted too much time on this guy as it is.

A.k.a. concur with Superman79.

[omid17]

Thanks, that really means a lot :woot:

But for some reason I feel like I'm gonna need a lot of patience. She's been opening up little by little about her ex, and how they were together for 4 years, and how she loved him, but wasn't "in love" with him and had to let him go. But i feel like her little distance with me is coming from that breakup. Like it happened maybe a month ago, and even though she's really proud about it, i can't help but feel like there's something deeper there. She also talked about how he was her best friend and they did everything together, as if he was her shadow. I honestly don't know why she would even bring this up in the first place, esp if she's so happy it's over.im glad it worked out man, and maby it's good if she brings up her ex, maby you can learn from his mistakes, and that would help you have a better relationship for sure

[SpideyVille]

im glad it worked out man, and maby it's good if she brings up her ex, maby you can learn from his mistakes, and that would help you have a better relationship for sure
Yeah that's what I'm thinking too, it's just that i find it weird that she would bring that up since she's the one who started the convo that lead to this. And what was even weirder was that before i could really say anything, either to make her feel better about it or think about it more, she sorta resolved it by herself. I mean if we were going out for a while, we'd have convos like this, but we're not so why would she tell me this.

[Erzengel]

I've tried all that, Erz. Didn't work.

Maybe we should just let her bare her soul to him. I empathize as much as you do, but I think Angel needs to see this first hand to really understand, and as much as we want to, we can't protect her. :(

Sometimes, when the toddler is walking toward the outlet with a butter knife for the 12th time, you gotta just let them learn from their own experience :csad:

But this isn't like she's 50/50 she's not sure he likes her. It's pretty obvious he's being nice and she's fooling herself that he's going to come around.

Angel, you can't force someone to like you. That's the 2nd time he's turned you down regardless of the reason and if he was into you, he would have said, well I'm busy today but how about tomorrow?

Confronting him and making him actually say the words, "I'm not interested." is going to do more harm than good when it's already apparently obvious. You are just going to embarrass yourself and him too because you are putting him in a very awkward situation.

It's not easy to walk away from your feelings but you are just going to have to. Because while talking to him "might" bring you closure, it will come with a heavy embarrassment price tag. Is that what you really want?

I don't think you are trying to "get over him" because you just seem to be constantly obsessing about him. Don't go out of your way to talk to him, talk to him only if he talks to you. Don't redo your schedule so you might walk past him in the halls. Eventually you'll get over him.

[Superman79]

I don't wanna walk away. It's just not an option. I try really hard, but I just can't do it fully.Even when I WANT to walk away, I can't. I don't want to tell him everything yet, either. I'm worried about freaking him out. I don't want him to avoid me forever and I don't want the "just friends" bullcrap.

Well darlin, from the sound of it you have to do one or the other. Right now you are in limbo because you haven't walked away, and you haven't told him how you feel. While in limbo you are clearly torturing yourself. So in order to find some relief here you need to either:

a) Walk away and get over the guy or
b) Tell him how you feel and let the chips fall where they may.

Those are your only choices. As we can see he's not just going to walk up to you one day and say "Angel, I have been such a fool to not see how you pine over me, I'm sorry I missed it. Be mine." Sorry babe, I hate to tell you, but that just ain't happening. So you've got to pick a path, because right now just sitting around and pining over the guy is just torturing yourself and doing some real long term damage to your heart. You are letting this guy get to you so much that you aren't able to fully enjoy your life and that is sad. This guy shouldn't have as much power over you as you let him have.

Walk away or bare your soul...those are your only options. :o

[Superman79]

But this isn't like she's 50/50 she's not sure he likes her. It's pretty obvious he's being nice and she's fooling herself that he's going to come around.

Oh, I KNOW thats the case, but the thing is as much as we tell her it's not going to get through the haze. Sometimes it takes the shock of the actual pain of rejection to let the healing begin. Believe me I'd like nothing more than to see Angel walk away, but she clearly can't let herself, and she clearly can't live her life until she sees it ain't happening, and the surest way for that is for the hoser to tell her its not happening. :csad:

[Superman79]

Thanks, that really means a lot :woot:

But for some reason I feel like I'm gonna need a lot of patience. She's been opening up little by little about her ex, and how they were together for 4 years, and how she loved him, but wasn't "in love" with him and had to let him go. But i feel like her little distance with me is coming from that breakup. Like it happened maybe a month ago, and even though she's really proud about it, i can't help but feel like there's something deeper there. She also talked about how he was her best friend and they did everything together, as if he was her shadow. I honestly don't know why she would even bring this up in the first place, esp if she's so happy it's over.

Patience is a big part of every relationship. Just go with the flow and don't push too hard.

As to her talk of her ex...its just her thing she needs to do to heal, as well as establish your abilitiy to listen to her feelings and not get scared and run away. Also, she's likely trying to show you she isn't bringing any baggage along with her. You're fine, she's just trying to open up to you. All the girls I've dated have done this at one time or another. No worries, just take it slow :up: Keep up the good work :D

[Erzengel]

Oh, I KNOW thats the case, but the thing is as much as we tell her it's not going to get through the haze. Sometimes it takes the shock of the actual pain of rejection to let the healing begin. Believe me I'd like nothing more than to see Angel walk away, but she clearly can't let herself, and she clearly can't live her life until she sees it ain't happening, and the surest way for that is for the hoser to tell her its not happening. :csad:
I'm also trying to help her not have this as a huge embarrassing high school moment. High school can be petty and very cruel sometimes, and I don't want her attempt at closure to worsen the rest of her high school experience.

[SpideyVille]

Patience is a big part of every relationship. Just go with the flow and don't push too hard.

As to her talk of her ex...its just her thing she needs to do to heal, as well as establish your abilitiy to listen to her feelings and not get scared and run away. Also, she's likely trying to show you she isn't bringing any baggage along with her. You're fine, she's just trying to open up to you. All the girls I've dated have done this at one time or another. No worries, just take it slow :up: Keep up the good work :D

Ok cool, i understand. I have no problem taking it slow, it's just i don't wanna take it TOO slow to where nothing happens.

And we were just texting each other, she's stopping by the school later and i told her to call or text me when she gets here, but i really have no idea when she might come, or even what we should do. We can't really go far since my nephew gets out of school early today, and idk how long she can stay around.

[Erzengel]

Honestly, how often do you have to watch your nephew?

[Superman79]

I'm also trying to help her not have this as a huge embarrassing high school moment. High school can be petty and very cruel sometimes, and I don't want her attempt at closure to worsen the rest of her high school experience.

I know, but as it is now, shes worsening her high school experience for herself by obsessing over this schmuck, and I'm sure the hiding and weeping are not helping stave off embarrassment...I'm just thinking if this is gonna continue it might be better for her to just yank the band-aid and be done with it.

I want her to walk away, I want her to fight it and get over him, but she seems determined NOT to. :csad:

[Superman79]

Honestly, how often do you have to watch your nephew?

Seriously.

This nephew is turning from asset into 'dead weight' that's dragging you down. Why is it your mom or your brother can't watch him occasionally...I mean it IS your bro's kid...

[SpideyVille]

Honestly, how often do you have to watch your nephew?

Seriously.

This nephew is turning from asset into 'dead weight' that's dragging you down. Why is it your mom or your brother can't watch him occasionally...I mean it IS your bro's kid...
I took a break before i started college, so picking him up from school everyday was sort of my sole responsibility and "job" since my mom and brother both work. I wasn't supposed to watch him after i started school, but since my schedule left me free to pick him up, i had to keep doing it. I mean it's not like i planned to try and hang out with people after class. All this just sort of happened unexpectedly.

[Superman79]

Well Spidey, you need to try and make arrangements for a free night or two during the week so you can live your life, you're family should be able to understand that. Besides, how old is the kid anyway??

[SpideyVille]

Well Spidey, you need to try and make arrangements for a free night or two during the week so you can live your life, you're family should be able to understand that. Besides, how old is the kid anyway??
He's six, and i have no problem being free for the night since my bro n mom get home a few hours after he gets out. The problem is finding someone to pick him up, since i'm the only family member who is close to his school.

[Erzengel]

Which is really why you should get the dates on the weekend.

I mean the date should be over when you want it to be not because you have to rush home.

[Superman79]

Which is really why you should get the dates on the weekend.

I mean the date should be over when you want it to be not because you have to rush home.

Seconded :o :up:

[SpideyVille]

I completely agree, that's why i can't wait for Spring Break to start next week. After that there won't be any excuses for either of us to have to stay home and babysit or do HW.

[DoomRulz]

I hope you realize, you can walk away, and it almost seems as if you're putting yourself in a position to create more and more drama for yourself.

Leave the boy alone! He [most likely] isn't interested in you. Moving on is the best option- stop telling yourself you can't do it. The minute you say, "I can't," well... You can't.

YOU.CAN.MOVE.ON.

What he said.

If you obsess over this boy (which you already are), things will get very ugly. You don't want him to think negatively of you, do you?

[Cunning Stunts]

What he said.

If you obsess over this boy (which you already are), things will get very ugly. You don't want him to think negatively of you, do you?

I'm with you, I think it's gone into obsession. I think it's also gone into an attempt to grasp for attention and drama, and A- guys hate that, B- that turns high school into a living hell.

A girl I used to like/be close friends with was exactly like that, and she throws fits when she doesn't get her attention... In turn, people don't like her much, and her friends can't stand to be around her. The only ones that can don't really know her that well, or are friends with her boyfriend (or like her, which in turn she keeps around to play mind games with him[sadly, I'm not exaggerating]). She's constantly dragging herself down, making an emo kid out of herself, and creating a ton of drama in her own life.

You know something? She's never happy because of it. And it's her own fault. Angel, it looks like you're going toward exactly that, at least in my opinion. It may sound harsh, but you're doing the exact same type of stuff my "friend" does.

Just get over Colter. He's a high school dude, even if you date the dude, I'd bet a lot of money you wouldn't be with him very long.

[SpideyVille]

I'm with you, I think it's gone into obsession. I think it's also gone into an attempt to grasp for attention and drama, and A- guys hate that, B- that turns high school into a living hell.

A girl I used to like/be close friends with was exactly like that, and she throws fits when she doesn't get her attention... In turn, people don't like her much, and her friends can't stand to be around her. The only ones that can don't really know her that well, or are friends with her boyfriend (or like her, which in turn she keeps around to play mind games with him[sadly, I'm not exaggerating]). She's constantly dragging herself down, making an emo kid out of herself, and creating a ton of drama in her own life.

You know something? She's never happy because of it. And it's her own fault. Angel, it looks like you're going toward exactly that, at least in my opinion. It may sound harsh, but you're doing the exact same type of stuff my "friend" does.

Just get over Colter. He's a high school dude, even if you date the dude, I'd bet a lot of money you wouldn't be with him very long.

Obsession = :down

I used to be just like this in high school. I didn't lose any friends over it, but a lot of people hated this about me. I had so many people tell me that I was a really cool person to be around and they enjoyed it, but as soon as i liked a girl and started obsessing over her, i became one miserable person that made everyone else around me depressed, which is why people started avoiding me.

Right now, with this girl i like, i haven't shown that side. I've pretty much gotten rid of it or suppressed it enough that it really makes a difference., She says i'm a great guy to be around and that she's glad she's getting to know me better. Sometimes you just have to live your life and stop thinking that this person is gonna come out of nowhere and sweep you off your feet, because that's not going to happen. You have to give them a reason to one to do that.

[Cunning Stunts]

Obsession = :down

I used to be just like this in high school. I didn't lose any friends over it, but a lot of people hated this about me. I had so many people tell me that I was a really cool person to be around and they enjoyed it, but as soon as i liked a girl and started obsessing over her, i became one miserable person that made everyone else around me depressed, which is why people started avoiding me.

Right now, with this girl i like, i haven't shown that side. I've pretty much gotten rid of it or suppressed it enough that it really makes a difference., She says i'm a great guy to be around and that she's glad she's getting to know me better. Sometimes you just have to live your life and stop thinking that this person is gonna come out of nowhere and sweep you off your feet, because that's not going to happen. You have to give them a reason to one to do that.

I used to get obsessed too. It may be a high school thing, I don't know, but my friends never really "let me go" so to speak, they just told me to ask the girl out or get over it, and that it's not the end of the world if she rejects me. Lord knows we all treat it like the end of the world when we get rejected, but that's probably because we treated those the situation like we were already dating the person we were persuing- which just isn't smart in the slightest.

[SpideyVille]

I used to get obsessed too. It may be a high school thing, I don't know, but my friends never really "let me go" so to speak, they just told me to ask the girl out or get over it, and that it's not the end of the world if she rejects me. Lord knows we all treat it like the end of the world when we get rejected, but that's probably because we treated those the situation like we were already dating the person we were persuing- which just isn't smart in the slightest.
That's the exact mentality of it. Luckily i've learned a little better. I mean me n this girl are getting closer, and while i'd like to treat her as my gf, i know that's not smart just yet because we've both haven't clearly expressed that we like each other in that way.I know i do, but i can't vouch for her. So i'm not going to do something that i think she'll be uncomfortable with.

[Cunning Stunts]

That's the exact mentality of it. Luckily i've learned a little better. I mean me n this girl are getting closer, and while i'd like to treat her as my gf, i know that's not smart just yet because we've both haven't clearly expressed that we like each other in that way.I know i do, but i can't vouch for her. So i'm not going to do something that i think she'll be uncomfortable with.

You're on the ball, dude:up:. Keep at it like that, and hopefully your example will prove to others here that patience and willingness helps, obsession and crying do not.

[SpideyVille]

You're on the ball, dude:up:. Keep at it like that, and hopefully your example will prove to others here that patience and willingness helps, obsession and crying do not.

Well I hope so. I just don't want to end up finding out that I was too patient.

[Superman79]

Well I hope so. I just don't want to end up finding out that I was too patient.

You'll be fine...arrange a date for next weekend, spend some quality time when you can (not too much mind you...follow your gut) You've got a great date idea/plan and your growing closer to her, she clearly has some sort of thing for ya...

Just make sure your family understands that you need some time to live your life so the "Mr. Mom" thing can't happen all the time so as to prevent you from dating or spending time with <insert the girls name here>

Basically, keep doing what you're doing and you're gonna be fine...:up:

[DoomRulz]

Well I hope so. I just don't want to end up finding out that I was too patient.

I doubt she will. It sounds as if you're doing the right things ATM, so no need to worry :cwink:.

While we're on the subject of patience, that's one thing I've learned to deal with. One can't be too patient, otherwise they miss w/e opportunity was there initially.

[SpideyVille]

You'll be fine...arrange a date for next weekend, spend some quality time when you can (not too much mind you...follow your gut) You've got a great date idea/plan and your growing closer to her, she clearly has some sort of thing for ya...

Just make sure your family understands that you need some time to live your life so the "Mr. Mom" thing can't happen all the time so as to prevent you from dating or spending time with <insert the girls name here>

Basically, keep doing what you're doing and you're gonna be fine...:up:
Yea my family already knows that there's a girl that I want to spend time with after school. Their solution is that my brother tries to find a permanent replacement for me. I wouldn't mind this, but at the same time I can sure use the money that i'm getting paid for this.

[SpideyVille]

I doubt she will. It sounds as if you're doing the right things ATM, so no need to worry :cwink:.

While we're on the subject of patience, that's one thing I've learned to deal with. One can't be too patient, otherwise they miss w/e opportunity was there initially.
That is an interesting way to look at it.

[DV8]

so spidey, any good concerts or shows coming up soon?? that's always a nice time; also, I'm thinking the bowling double date or single date thing is a great starter, but it would be nice to plan something ahead a little, like a concert . . . something not too far away, but in a few weeks when you know you won't be busy (i.e. spring break) . . . something a little more substantial as far as a 'date' goes . . . just wanted to throw that out there

[DV8]

I have a riddle for everyone today; see if anyone can get this:

A young woman has recently lost her mother from cancer. At the funeral, she meets a funny, smart, charming, good looking man. They talk for hours; they share a connection; they really, really click . . . they spend hours talking and laughing, and the night ends.

The woman realizes she loves this man; she's never shared such a connection with another person before, but she never got his name, number, or any other means to contact him.

She falls into a deep state of depression and out of the blue, two weeks later she murders her sister . . . . why??

I'll post the answer with a revealing sidenote on Monday . . .

[Erzengel]

I must be a psychopath. :)

[Cunning Stunts]

I have a riddle for everyone today; see if anyone can get this:

A young woman has recently lost her mother from cancer. At the funeral, she meets a funny, smart, charming, good looking man. They talk for hours; they share a connection; they really, really click . . . they spend hours talking and laughing, and the night ends.

The woman realizes she loves this man; she's never shared such a connection with another person before, but she never got his name, number, or any other means to contact him.

She falls into a deep state of depression and out of the blue, two weeks later she murders her sister . . . . why??

I'll post the answer with a revealing sidenote on Monday . . .

Answer: To meet the guy again.

[DV8]

I must be a psychopath. :)

haha, well we already knew that, but what was your answer?? :hehe:

[DV8]

Answer: To meet the guy again.

congratulations, you're a clinical sociopath :)

[Erzengel]

Same as CS. This isn't the first time I read this but I forgot what was the answer and the footnote for the answer so I'm not sure if I'm indeed psycho or just brought it up from memory. But the fact that I had to really think of the answer first, I'm thinking it's the former.

Plus that girl is a keeper. :o

[Cunning Stunts]

congratulations, you're a clinical sociopath :)

And a very twisted writer:).

[DV8]

Same as CS. This isn't the first time I read this but I forgot what was the answer and the footnote for the answer so I'm not sure if I'm indeed psycho or just brought it up from memory. But the fact that I had to really think of the answer first, I'm thinking it's the former.

Plus that girl is a keeper. :o

Lol!! I bet she's a real champ in bed . . . the crazy ones always are ;)

yeah, I really had to think hard about this one, and I really just kind of gave up; I saw no answer in sight . . .

And a very twisted writer:).

well at least your using your powers for good and not evil . . . . we hope :ninja:

[Cunning Stunts]

Lol!! I bet she's a real champ in bed . . . the crazy ones always are ;)

yeah, I really had to think hard about this one, and I really just kind of gave up; I saw no answer in sight . . .



well at least your using your powers for good and not evil . . . . we hope :ninja:

:ninja:

[SpideyVille]

oh boy, for some reason i just feel like this sucked. Idk, maybe it was the crappy weather or something, but things just didn't feel all too great just now. I know I have to be patient, and i know this wasn't a date, but it really had a friendly feeling to it, instead of something more.

She came here around 1:30 and i met her at the bus stop outside the school. We went in and dropped off our stuff. I asked her what her plans were and she said to go home and do work (which reminds me I have so much to do myself). I told her I had to pick up my nephew in about an hour, then she started thinking whether she wanted to go home right away or wait for my nephew to get out. She decided to stay but we needed something to kill the time. So I decided to take her to Target so I could buy some movies. By the time we got there, I told her we might not have time to get back and pick up my nephew when he gets out, so we walked back.

We got back a few minutes early so we waited outside a while. Finally my nephew came out and i was trying to make him interact with her, but he was being too shy. I walked her to her bus stop and we waited there for the bus. Idk I just didn't really feel right during all this time. I wasn't really nervous or anything, but I just felt like weren't going as good. The bus eventually came and I felt like everything we so far was pretty pointless, so i asked for a hug goodbye just to make some kind of headway. She did then she got on the bus and left.

Idk, now I guess i was just expecting too much, and should've just been grateful for her company, but i'm not going to see her for a few days and I really would've liked to have done more.

so spidey, any good concerts or shows coming up soon?? that's always a nice time; also, I'm thinking the bowling double date or single date thing is a great starter, but it would be nice to plan something ahead a little, like a concert . . . something not too far away, but in a few weeks when you know you won't be busy (i.e. spring break) . . . something a little more substantial as far as a 'date' goes . . . just wanted to throw that out there
Well I would like to take her to a Yankee game, but i wouldn't know if she'd like to go or when exactly we could go. And since we're going to see a Broadway show this week with the class, i dont think that would be a cool idea to do it again after we were just there.

[SpideyVille]

Answer: To meet the guy again.
I remember hearing this, but i can't remember what the answer was. I think it was the priest at the funeral. She killed her sister so the priest would appear again at the funeral, so she would see him again there.

[Erzengel]

A) If she likes the Yankees, ask her if she like to see a game. :huh:

B) There's more than 1 Broadway show, geez I'm seeing the Little Mermaid and Young Frankenstein within like a month of each other.

[SpideyVille]

A) If she likes the Yankees, ask her if she like to see a game. :huh:

B) There's more than 1 Broadway show, geez I'm seeing the Little Mermaid and Young Frankenstein within like a month of each other.

We talked about the other day. She doesn't follow baseball on tv or anything, but she was at a game once and really enjoyed it.

And i don't know how she feels about Broadway shows, so i guess i must ask her that soon.

[Erzengel]

There you go. Take her out to a early afternoon game. Say, I'm trying to get tickets for such and such date, you should go with me.

And you really should have asked her out while you were just hanging out, today.

I mean you haven't been on a date yet, but this is like the 3rd time you hung out. Just ask her already. Actually go call her and see if she wants to go bowling like tomorrow or Sunday? :huh:

[SpideyVille]

I already did yesterday. I said my brother invited me to go bowling this weekend and she said she was gonna be busy doing homework, and then church on Sunday. But if that wasn't the case she would've loved to go. We were even going over all the work we have to do and it is a lot.

I want to see what she's doing after the class trip to the show Thursday night, but i'm sure it's gonna involve something with her friends and their dates, so i'm trying to see if she'll join them or if she'd rather do something alone with me. Which is good because Spring Break starts that day so we'd have nothing else to do afterwards.

[DV8]

A) If she likes the Yankees, ask her if she like to see a game. :huh:

B) There's more than 1 Broadway show, geez I'm seeing the Little Mermaid and Young Frankenstein within like a month of each other.

:lmao: Lol!!! Lol at Erz *points* ;)

[Erzengel]

Huh. :dry:

Is she taking someone on the class trip?

[Erzengel]

:lmao: Lol!!! Lol at Erz *points* ;)

I bought them for my gf for Christmas. All together it was $460 in tickets. :o

But I'll be honest, we see a lot of shows and I've seen every Disney Broadway production. :o

[DV8]

I bought them for my gf for Christmas. All together it was $460 in tickets. :o

But I'll be honest, we see a lot of shows and I've seen every Disney Broadway production. :o

and this is supposed to make it better?? :huh: :o

[SpideyVille]

Huh. :dry:

Is she taking someone on the class trip?
Well i thought she might have been, since her friends were pushing her to get an extra ticket, but i think all the extras are gone so it doesn't seem like she would be.

[DV8]

just givin you hell, erz ;) I would pry rather see most disney productions than most of the other boring subject matter they show on Broadway; at least you have some foreknowledge of the show :up:

[Wilhelm-Scream]

:lmao: Lol!!! Lol at Erz *points* ;)Hey, I'll bet she went with him to see his show about the toy robot dolls that turn into trucks and cars and stuff last summer.

[Erzengel]

and this is supposed to make it better?? :huh: :o

I have to admit, that Dr. Octopus (Alfred Molina) kicked ass in Fiddler on the Roof. Probably the best performance I've ever seen. :o

[Erzengel]

Hey, I'll bet she went with him to see his show about the toy robot dolls that turn into trucks and cars and stuff last summer.
Haha, twice. :up:

But to be honest yet again, she loved Transformers cartoons. She even has the DVDs of the TV series. :)

[DV8]

so not to gloat or anything but I just got this text that reads:

I'm fkn horny :) thanks 2 ur awesome cock!

:cool: man I love being single right now!!!! no strings attached FTW!!!! Until I find the right lady of course :O

[DV8]

Hey, I'll bet she went with him to see his show about the toy robot dolls that turn into trucks and cars and stuff last summer.

that's different :o

[Erzengel]

Well i thought she might have been, since her friends were pushing her to get an extra ticket, but i think all the extras are gone so it doesn't seem like she would be.
You guys are moving at the speed of snails. :csad:

When is your Spring Break so, she has no excuse that she has to do homework?

[DV8]

I have to admit, that Dr. Octopus (Alfred Molina) kicked ass in Fiddler on the Roof. Probably the best performance I've ever seen. :o

I would actually kind of like to see that; I heard he was amazing

[DV8]

You guys are moving at the speed of snails. :csad:

When is your Spring Break so, she has no excuse that she has to do homework?

seriously . . .

[SpideyVille]

You guys are moving at the speed of snails. :csad:

When is your Spring Break so, she has no excuse that she has to do homework?
I know, it feels like we are. Things have been going good, but I feel like it should be so much more right now. But, I guess that's what a real date is supposed to do.

And it starts at the end of next week but we have an extra day off since we don't have class on Fridays.

[DV8]

I know, it feels like we are. Things have been going good, but I feel like it should be so much more right now. But, I guess that's what a real date is supposed to do.

And it starts at the end of next week but we have an extra day off since we don't have class on Fridays.

yeah man, that's what I'm saying when I mean a concert or something . . . something to really smack her in the face with your awesomeness, something that may lead to you smacking her in the face with something else :ninja:

a baseball game is ok, but I would say try to do something more geared towards her interests; she may like baseball just fine, but also I'd say go for a night setting, and maybe even dress up a little; maybe I'm getting ahead of you though . . .

[Erzengel]

How long is your spring break a week?

Tell her this, "I don't want to wait a week before I see you again." and then throw in a date based on something you know she'd enjoy.

[SpideyVille]

yeah man, that's what I'm saying when I mean a concert or something . . . something to really smack her in the face with your awesomeness, something that may lead to you smacking her in the face with something else :ninja:
lmao, i like ur thinking :hehe:

But honestly, I wonder why she agrees to go places with me when we're together. Is it because she really likes spending time with me, or is she just hoping for more to happen?

[Superman79]

How long is your spring break a week?

Tell her this, "I don't want to wait a week before I see you again." and then throw in a date based on something you know she'd enjoy.

QFT :o

I have to admit, that Dr. Octopus (Alfred Molina) kicked ass in Fiddler on the Roof. Probably the best performance I've ever seen. :o

Great show :up: I played Tevye once in college...

I know, it feels like we are. Things have been going good, but I feel like it should be so much more right now. But, I guess that's what a real date is supposed to do.

And it starts at the end of next week but we have an extra day off since we don't have class on Fridays.

Spidey, buddy, that is EXACTLY what a real date is supposed to do. So get her out on one. Find an option and run with it. Hell, the show you're going to for class is on Broadway right?? So tell her to dress up for it and then tell her you're taking her someplace nice for a late dinner after the show. Make it into a defacto sort of date...:o

[Superman79]

lmao, i like ur thinking :hehe:

But honestly, I wonder why she agrees to go places with me when we're together. Is it because she really likes spending time with me, or is she just hoping for more to happen?

Likely both. Now get on that date assignment!!!

[SpideyVille]

How long is your spring break a week?

Tell her this, "I don't want to wait a week before I see you again." and then throw in a date based on something you know she'd enjoy.
Yea, a week.

And I was planning on doing that today, by telling her I really wish she could stay wih me longer since i won't see her again until Monday. But i know she really has to get home and get her work done, so i decided to save that line for another time.

[Erzengel]

Yeah but you'll probably see her again Mon-Wed? Do the line, make the date.

[DV8]

Yeah but you'll probably see her again Mon-Wed? Do the line, make the date.

yeah spidey, erz gave you a nice one!! :up:

and supes' idea of turning the Broadway show into a date is simply ingenius; dinner afterwards, and you've set yourself up a SOLID, romantic type date :up: and you didn't even have to pay for the ticket :hehe:

hell, I even think that's first-kiss-date material, but no pressure :ninja:

[DoomRulz]

I'm having a moral dilemma. I'm going to this girl's apartment tonight, close friend of mine. We both like each other, that much is certain. But everytime we're together, there's a sense of awkwardness in the room when we're alone. It's hard to describe; it's just that feeling you get whenever you're with someone you like but don't want to make it too obvious or something.

Bah, tonight is gonna be weird lol

[DV8]

hahaha, wouldn't it be funny if once spidey finally gets with this girl, she catches him on SHH! getting advice from us and breaks it off in true sitcom-style fashion?? :D

[DV8]

I'm having a moral dilemma. I'm going to this girl's apartment tonight, close friend of mine. We both like each other, that much is certain. But everytime we're together, there's a sense of awkwardness in the room when we're alone. It's hard to describe; it's just that feeling you get whenever you're with someone you like but don't want to make it too obvious or something.

Bah, tonight is gonna be weird lol

only until you whip it out :up: :o

seriously though . . . depending on what you're doing, you need to initiate some kind of contact . . . a back or foot rub . . . and then you start making your way up, or down or whichever way you need to go . . . hopefully you know what to do from there :cool:

[DoomRulz]

I'd like to think she'll think its cute. (I'm an optimist).

[Erzengel]

I'm having a moral dilemma. I'm going to this girl's apartment tonight, close friend of mine. We both like each other, that much is certain. But everytime we're together, there's a sense of awkwardness in the room when we're alone. It's hard to describe; it's just that feeling you get whenever you're with someone you like but don't want to make it too obvious or something.

Bah, tonight is gonna be weird lol
Anticipation, nervousness, and possibly inexperience? I get the feeling, you both want something to happen but are awaiting the other person to make the first move?

Be a man, and just go for it. :up:

[SpideyVille]

Spidey, buddy, that is EXACTLY what a real date is supposed to do. So get her out on one. Find an option and run with it. Hell, the show you're going to for class is on Broadway right?? So tell her to dress up for it and then tell her you're taking her someplace nice for a late dinner after the show. Make it into a defacto sort of date...:o

Likely both. Now get on that date assignment!!!
Yes professor. :woot:

[Erzengel]

Do some research, find out is she planning on leaving from the theater to her house? Do you have to go back to the college?

Then based on her saying yes, find 1-3 restaurants (variety, Italian, Asian, American) in the area, also check prices as to not go past how much you want to spend and also dress code. Don't take her someplace where they ask you if you want fries with that. :up:

[SpideyVille]

Yeah but you'll probably see her again Mon-Wed? Do the line, make the date.
Yea, i'll do that. Which is wy i decided to save the line for another day.

yeah spidey, erz gave you a nice one!! :up:

and supes' idea of turning the Broadway show into a date is simply ingenius; dinner afterwards, and you've set yourself up a SOLID, romantic type date :up: and you didn't even have to pay for the ticket :hehe:

hell, I even think that's first-kiss-date material, but no pressure :ninja:
Yeah, that thought has crossed my mind many times, but i wanted to see how things went before I decide to ask her out 2 weeks before the actual day.

and oh boy, i'm worrying so much about just holding her hand or putting my arm around her, let alone getting a kiss.
hahaha, wouldn't it be funny if once spidey finally gets with this girl, she catches him on SHH! getting advice from us and breaks it off in true sitcom-style fashion?? :D

LMFAO, i've actually thought about this happening.

[Superman79]

Anticipation, nervousness, and possibly inexperience? I get the feeling, you both want something to happen but are awaiting the other person to make the first move?

Be a man, and just go for it. :up:

QFT! :o

[Superman79]

Do some research, find out is she planning on leaving from the theater to her house? Do you have to go back to the college?

Then based on her saying yes, find 1-3 restaurants (variety, Italian, Asian, American) in the area, also check prices as to not go past how much you want to spend and also dress code. Don't take her someplace where they ask you if you want fries with that. :up:

Great advice. Have backups should Murphy's Law kick in :up:

[Superman79]

Yeah, that thought has crossed my mind many times, but i wanted to see how things went before I decide to ask her out 2 weeks before the actual day.

and oh boy, i'm worrying so much about just holding her hand or putting my arm around her, let alone getting a kiss.


LMFAO, i've actually thought about this happening.

Well now you've seen how it's gone, so DO IT. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

As for the sit-com situation, rest assured we'd all likely do something to make it up to her, like fly out to NY and sing "In Your Eyes" choir style as you present her with a huge bouquet of roses and she tears up onher balcony...or some rom-com crap like that :p

[SpideyVille]

Do some research, find out is she planning on leaving from the theater to her house? Do you have to go back to the college?

Then based on her saying yes, find 1-3 restaurants (variety, Italian, Asian, American) in the area, also check prices as to not go past how much you want to spend and also dress code. Don't take her someplace where they ask you if you want fries with that. :up:

No it's at night. We have to meet up there ourselves.

But ok, I'll try to find a good place. But what if she's not in the mood to eat?

[Superman79]

No it's at night. We have to meet up there ourselves.

But ok, I'll try to find a good place. But what if she's not in the mood to eat?

This is why you ask her out early so she knows she'll be eating afterward and won't have dinner before the show. Even better, see about escorting her to the show since you all just have to meet there on your own anyway.

[Erzengel]

Which means that you guys will be getting out at 10:30 pm at night. Usually I would say a late dinner would be fine, or even drinks, however I don't think either of you are of age. And most places open late in NY are places to eat, clubs, bars etc. There's no 24 hour museum. LOL. Plus, again not being discriminatory towards your ages, I'm not sure how late you and her can stay out.

Few suggestions:
Walk her home.
Get some coffee then walk her home.

Somewhere in walking her home, tell her the "Don't wanna wait a week." and get a definite date sometime during spring break but be sure to have some date ideas. Don't just ask her out, have something planned.

[SpideyVille]

Well now you've seen how it's gone, so DO IT. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

As for the sit-com situation, rest assured we'd all likely do something to make it up to her, like fly out to NY and sing "In Your Eyes" choir style as you present her with a huge bouquet of roses and she tears up onher balcony...or some rom-com crap like that :p

:lmao: Yes, that would be some true sit-com situation.

But yea, now's the time to start making bigger moves forward. I really shouldn't be scared of anything at this point.


And just for the record, is it ok that's she been im-ing me all week. I mean i like talking to her and all, but i feel like i'm gonna run out of things to say soon.

[Erzengel]

You're not. Each new day is a chalk full of things you can tell her. Sure you stop running out of things to say about your past, but what about that funny thing that happened yesterday, oh this thing made me laugh, you wouldn't believe what I saw on tv last night.... get the picture?

[Superman79]

:lmao: Yes, that would be some true sit-com situation.

But yea, now's the time to start making bigger moves forward. I really shouldn't be scared of anything at this point.


And just for the record, is it ok that's she been im-ing me all week. I mean i like talking to her and all, but i feel like i'm gonna run out of things to say soon.

Dammit man!! Questions! Questions fill any void, and you can ask about any number of things to keep a conversation going favorite movies, childhood dreams, songs, singers, food, school, family, local and national news...ANYTHING!!! :o:cmad:


:oldrazz::cwink:

[SpideyVille]

This is why you ask her out early so she knows she'll be eating afterward and won't have dinner before the show. Even better, see about escorting her to the show since you all just have to meet there on your own anyway.
Okay, so should i ask her when i see her on Monday, or should i wait a day or just bring it up this weekend on aim?

Which means that you guys will be getting out at 10:30 pm at night. Usually I would say a late dinner would be fine, or even drinks, however I don't think either of you are of age. And most places open late in NY are places to eat, clubs, bars etc. There's no 24 hour museum. LOL. Plus, again not being discriminatory towards your ages, I'm not sure how late you and her can stay out.

Few suggestions:
Walk her home.
Get some coffee then walk her home.

Somewhere in walking her home, tell her the "Don't wanna wait a week." and get a definite date sometime during spring break but be sure to have some date ideas. Don't just ask her out, have something planned.
Yea, we're both 19, but we both don't favor do the bar or club scene much. And yea, i'm also worried about how late she can be out, but that's just something i'm gonna haveta ask.

But how do i go about making it clear that i want to escort her home. Just ask/tell or do i suggest it?

[Erzengel]

Next time you talk to her, say, we are getting out a little late from the show, I'd feel better if I could walk you home.

[SpideyVille]

You're not. Each new day is a chalk full of things you can tell her. Sure you stop running out of things to say about your past, but what about that funny thing that happened yesterday, oh this thing made me laugh, you wouldn't believe what I saw on tv last night.... get the picture?
Yea, we have a few jokes that we bring up every now and then, but it feels like it's getting repetitve now.
Dammit man!! Questions! Questions fill any void, and you can ask about any number of things to keep a conversation going favorite movies, childhood dreams, songs, singers, food, school, family, local and national news...ANYTHING!!! :o:cmad:


:oldrazz::cwink:
Okay, okay i got it. It's good online, but when we're in person is when i start to wonder what to say.

[SpideyVille]

Next time you talk to her, say, we are getting out a little late from the show, I'd feel better if I could walk you home.
Could i use something like "A pretty girl like you shouldn't be going home late by herself" ?

[Erzengel]

You could, but sometimes saying something in 5 words is better than 10. Also, you don't want to ham it up. :o

[SpideyVille]

You could, but sometimes saying something in 5 words is better than 10. Also, you don't want to ham it up. :o
Okay, because there are some things i would think about saying, but it feels like it won't come out the right way, or idk how she'll take it. Like i could be sweet or it could be very corny.

[Superman79]

You could, but sometimes saying something in 5 words is better than 10. Also, you don't want to ham it up. :o

Agreed. :up:

Yea, we have a few jokes that we bring up every now and then, but it feels like it's getting repetitve now.

Okay, okay i got it. It's good online, but when we're in person is when i start to wonder what to say.

So use the same thought patterns you'd use online, only in person. And instead of typing it, say it out loud. Piece of cake.

[SpideyVille]

So use the same thought patterns you'd use online, only in person. And instead of typing it, say it out loud. Piece of cake.
Okay, i'll definitely keep that in mind :up:

[Superman79]

Okay, because there are some things i would think about saying, but it feels like it won't come out the right way, or idk how she'll take it. Like i could be sweet or it could be very corny.

To be safe, stick to stuff that DOESN"T make you sound like Quagmire from 'Family Guy'

[DV8]

Well now you've seen how it's gone, so DO IT. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

As for the sit-com situation, rest assured we'd all likely do something to make it up to her, like fly out to NY and sing "In Your Eyes" choir style as you present her with a huge bouquet of roses and she tears up onher balcony...or some rom-com crap like that :p

well is Supes is payin for my plane ticket, I only fly first class ;) but we would at least do a live-podcast :o

oh yeah, and I can sing, but not that song :o and that's by choice of course

[SpideyVille]

To be safe, stick to stuff that DOESN"T make you sound like Quagmire from 'Family Guy'

lol, oh no i definitely don't use lines like that. I just think of lines that make it blatantly obvious that i like her, or that i'm trying to flatter her in a subtle way.

[Superman79]

lol, oh no i definitely don't use lines like that. I just think of lines that make it blatantly obvious that i like her, or that i'm trying to flatter her in a subtle way.

Of course, but the "pretty lady" walking comment was a bit close...just sayin'

I know you were trying to slip a compliment in there too nice, BUT. When going for a compliment, make it genuine and make it about something more specific, like her eyes, her smile, her sense of style, her laugh, etc...

[Crook]

To be safe, stick to stuff that DOESN"T make you sound like Quagmire from 'Family Guy'
Actually, as long you don't come off as being genuinely serious when sounding like Quagmire, it actually comes in handy and immediately makes you memorable. :o

[SpideyVille]

Of course, but the "pretty lady" walking comment was a bit close...just sayin'

I know you were trying to slip a compliment in there too nice, BUT. When going for a compliment, make it genuine and make it about something more specific, like her eyes, her smile, her sense of style, her laugh, etc...
Yea, well there ya go, that's why i don't use them, or at least before having them approved here first. :p

But the way i'm seeing it it's like i'm thinking of things that a guy would tell a girl if she was his gf or wife or something, but that's not the position i'm in so i should go there yet. Yet, idk what kind of things a guy should say when he's still in the wooing phase.

[Angel_Faerie]

But this isn't like she's 50/50 she's not sure he likes her. It's pretty obvious he's being nice and she's fooling herself that he's going to come around.

Angel, you can't force someone to like you. That's the 2nd time he's turned you down regardless of the reason and if he was into you, he would have said, well I'm busy today but how about tomorrow?

Confronting him and making him actually say the words, "I'm not interested." is going to do more harm than good when it's already apparently obvious. You are just going to embarrass yourself and him too because you are putting him in a very awkward situation.

It's not easy to walk away from your feelings but you are just going to have to. Because while talking to him "might" bring you closure, it will come with a heavy embarrassment price tag. Is that what you really want?

I don't think you are trying to "get over him" because you just seem to be constantly obsessing about him. Don't go out of your way to talk to him, talk to him only if he talks to you. Don't redo your schedule so you might walk past him in the halls. Eventually you'll get over him.

My aim isn't to force him to like me. My aim is to hang out a few times and see if we're compatible and have things in common. To get to know each other.

I replied to his message saying I don't want him to feel obligated in any way and that if he honestly doesn't want to eat Lunch with me, he doesn't have to. I don't want him to do something he doesn't want to do.

I don't want to walk away from my feelings because before I saw him, I had nothing to look forward to every day. I was really depressed and had little reason to care about anything at all. Then I walked into that Speech classroom and it was like everything that had brought me to that low point hadn't happened. I had a reason to smile again. Someone to care about. A reason to get out of bed because if I didn't, I couldn't see him. See those eyes and that smile that had made my entire world brighter. That's a big reason why I don't want to give him up. Because if I do, I'm afraid I'll go back to that place again.

P.S: I wouldn't change my schedule just to pass him in the halls. I like seeing him every day, it's true, but I wouldn't go THAT far.

[DoomRulz]

Thing is, you're making him feel uncomfortable. That's why he isn't responding to you in a positive manner.

Don't tell the guy he doesn't have to eat lunch with you b/c a) he knows he doesn't and b) it makes him feel guilty for not having done so initially. If you send him messages like that, then his thought process will probably be "Oh boy, this chick's on to me...what do I do now?"

I hate to break it to you Angel, but you're gonna have to walk away from your feelings. If you keep obsessing then you'll hurt yourself, and he might feel guilty for doing so b/c he didn't respond the way you wanted him to. Is that what you really want?

I still say confront him head on. And if you're uncomfortable with that idea, then catch this guy when he's alone and just chat with him calmly. Don't even mention what's happened in the past. Just be cool and be yourself.

[Angel_Faerie]

Thing is, you're making him feel uncomfortable. That's why he isn't responding to you in a positive manner.

Don't tell the guy he doesn't have to eat lunch with you b/c a) he knows he doesn't and b) it makes him feel guilty for not having done so initially. If you send him messages like that, then his thought process will probably be "Oh boy, this chick's on to me...what do I do now?"

I hate to break it to you Angel, but you're gonna have to walk away from your feelings. If you keep obsessing then you'll hurt yourself, and he might feel guilty for doing so b/c he didn't respond the way you wanted him to. Is that what you really want?

I still say confront him head on. And if you're uncomfortable with that idea, then catch this guy when he's alone and just chat with him calmly. Don't even mention what's happened in the past. Just be cool and be yourself.

I know he probably knows he doesn't have to, but I thought it was a good idea to let him know I'm giving him permission to not do it if he so chooses. It hurts, but I know it's the right thing to do. I can't make him do something that it appears to me he doesn't want to do.You guys are right. I need to just walk away from my feelings for him. It's gone on too long with no result. This feels worse than words can ever say. I'm gonna miss how happy he made me....Heck, I'm gonna miss feeling anything at all....This is going to probably take everything out of me for a long time.

[Superman79]

I know he probably knows he doesn't have to, but I thought it was a good idea to let him know I'm giving him permission to not do it if he so chooses. It hurts, but I know it's the right thing to do. I can't make him do something that it appears to me he doesn't want to do.You guys are right. I need to just walk away from my feelings for him. It's gone on too long with no result. This feels worse than words can ever say. I'm gonna miss how happy he made me....Heck, I'm gonna miss feeling anything at all....This is going to probably take everything out of me for a long time.

Angel, what did we talk about before? This is not the end of the world, and frankly, the depression/sadness/bleakness you felt might have been temporarily fixed by a boyfriend, but ultimately it would have been back with a vengeance as it has nothing to do with your life as a whole, but it has EVERYTHING to do with the fact you are not content or at peace with yourself, and as I said before, you've gotta find that on your own...no one can do it for you. You need "me time" big time, and you need to not look to other people to fix yourself. Time to take inventory of what you ahve in life and come to grips with who you are and who you want to be...only that will bring you out of your funk for good.

[SpideyVille]

I don't want to walk away from my feelings because before I saw him, I had nothing to look forward to every day. I was really depressed and had little reason to care about anything at all. Then I walked into that Speech classroom and it was like everything that had brought me to that low point hadn't happened. I had a reason to smile again. Someone to care about. A reason to get out of bed because if I didn't, I couldn't see him. See those eyes and that smile that had made my entire world brighter. That's a big reason why I don't want to give him up. Because if I do, I'm afraid I'll go back to that place again.
This is what scares me, you're placing happiness on a person who is doing absolutely nothing to make you happy, aside from existing. You can't say that someone makes ur life worth living when they've done absolutely nothing to make that so. This is just like celebrity obsessions where you "fall in love" with someone after you see them, and you get so hooked to them that you refuse to believe that you'll never get all that you want from them. You basically live off false hope, which is really not healthy AT ALL.

Also, i think you're definitely a victim of this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unrequited_love

Angel, what did we talk about before? This is not the end of the world, and frankly, the depression/sadness/bleakness you felt might have been temporarily fixed by a boyfriend, but ultimately it would have been back with a vengeance as it has nothing to do with your life as a whole, but it has EVERYTHING to do with the fact you are not content or at peace with yourself, and as I said before, you've gotta find that on your own...no one can do it for you. You need "me time" big time, and you need to not look to other people to fix yourself. Time to take inventory of what you ahve in life and come to grips with who you are and who you want to be...only that will bring you out of your funk for good.
This is so QFT, that it's hard to measure just how QFT it is.

"Me time" is definitely a helpful tool. Not only does it help you think about the person that you were under this "influence", but it helps you learn more about yourself and become who you really are, while feeling comfortable about yourself and not worrying about what others think.

Like i said before, I was just like this as recent as a year ago. I took some time off with summer vacation and I "exiled" myself away from everyone. Now I'm back into the world and the difference really shows.

[Cunning Stunts]

This is what scares me, you're placing happiness on a person who is doing absolutely nothing to make you happy, aside from existing. You can't say that someone makes ur life worth living when they've done absolutely nothing to make that so. This is just like celebrity obsessions where you "fall in love" with someone after you see them, and you get so hooked to them that you refuse to believe that you'll never get all that you want from them. You basically live off false hope, which is really not healthy AT ALL.

Also, i think you're definitely a victim of this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unrequited_love


This is so QFT, that it's hard to measure just how QFT it is.

"Me time" is definitely a helpful tool. Not only does it help you think about the person that you were under this "influence", but it helps you learn more about yourself and become who you really are, while feeling comfortable about yourself and not worrying about what others think.

Like i said before, I was just like this as recent as a year ago. I took some time off with summer vacation and I "exiled" myself away from everyone. Now I'm back into the world and the difference really shows.

Both you and Superman are right, and it looks like she's ignoring what I said too.

Angel, you're setting yourself up for everything. You're drawing the life out of yourself with this, and creating more and more reasons to feel bad about yourself. Don't base your whole life's worth on a boy- especially in high school. I can promise you two won't be together very long anyway.

Dating in high school sucks, so don't spend so much time obsessing over it. Your mental health isn't worth some dude wanting in your pants.

[Erzengel]

My aim isn't to force him to like me. My aim is to hang out a few times and see if we're compatible and have things in common. To get to know each other.
You are still trying to force time out of him, time he may not wanna give you.


I replied to his message saying I don't want him to feel obligated in any way and that if he honestly doesn't want to eat Lunch with me, he doesn't have to. I don't want him to do something he doesn't want to do.
But now you are laying a guilt trip on him for not wanting to have lunch with you. :huh:


I don't want to walk away from my feelings because before I saw him, I had nothing to look forward to every day. I was really depressed and had little reason to care about anything at all. Then I walked into that Speech classroom and it was like everything that had brought me to that low point hadn't happened. I had a reason to smile again. Someone to care about. A reason to get out of bed because if I didn't, I couldn't see him. See those eyes and that smile that had made my entire world brighter. That's a big reason why I don't want to give him up. Because if I do, I'm afraid I'll go back to that place again.
Sweetheart, you are being a little overdramatic. He's just a boy, and you are pretty much putting him on a pedestal like the end all be all of boys. Honestly, you are school acquaintances at best and while your feelings for him are intense, they are pretty much infatuation that you will look at even months from now as a silly high school crush.


P.S: I wouldn't change my schedule just to pass him in the halls. I like seeing him every day, it's true, but I wouldn't go THAT far.
Do you walk certain routes around the high school just to see him? Like it would be quicker to walk down Hall A but you walk down Hall B just so you can see him?

[Erzengel]

Both you and Superman are right, and it looks like she's ignoring what I said too.

Angel, you're setting yourself up for everything. You're drawing the life out of yourself with this, and creating more and more reasons to feel bad about yourself. Don't base your whole life's worth on a boy- especially in high school. I can promise you two won't be together very long anyway.

Dating in high school sucks, so don't spend so much time obsessing over it. Your mental health isn't worth some dude wanting in your pants.
Listen to CS. Hit it right on the head. Most of us have been where you are, and it's best just to cut your losses and walk away.

[Superman79]

He's just a boy, and you are pretty much putting him on a pedestal like the end all be all of boys.

TO misquote a great movie:

"Don't put the c**k on a pedestal...like the Greek god C**koliath!! THat's bad!!) :woot:

[DoomRulz]

TO misquote a great movie:

"Don't put the c**k on a pedestal...like the Greek god C**koliath!! THat's bad!!) :woot:

Haha, where's that from?

[Cunning Stunts]

Haha, where's that from?

40 Year Old Virgin, I believe.

[DoomRulz]

40 Year Old Virgin, I believe.

Actually, 40 YOV was pussaliah.

[SpideyVille]

Actually, 40 YOV was pussaliah.
S79 changed it to fit Angel's situation

[DoomRulz]

S79 changed it to fit Angel's situation

Hm...indeed...

[Gilpesh]

S79 changed it to fit Angel's situation

I will not laugh.... I will not laugh... I will not laugh.... oh f**k it, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

[Mac_Hine]

Yea, well there ya go, that's why i don't use them, or at least before having them approved here first.

But the way i'm seeing it it's like i'm thinking of things that a guy would tell a girl if she was his gf or wife or something, but that's not the position i'm in so i should go there yet. Yet, idk what kind of things a guy should say when he's still in the wooing phase.

Just keep the conversation fun and tease her is all. I can give you something you can throw in there if you run out of things to say. So you can say something like "Hey I have to share something fascinating I heard the other day. So let me ask you a question. If you had the power to choose between beign invisible or the power of flight, which would you choose and why?" and let her answer. Listen to what she says because it'll help you on this mini cold read. If she picks invisibility you could tell her that by choosing that, you could tell she is a little shy, maybe introverted, maybe worry a little too much on what other people think of her and maybe holds back on things. Something along those lines. If she picks flight, say that she is a strong willed person, would like to travel to new places, she likes to experience new things and is good a tackling life. It's all really bs but its fun and can keep a conversation interesting because you are telling her something about herself. I actually used this yesterday in a nighclub and it helped. I approached and talked to this girl, teased her the whole night, danced with her and when we were sitting down chatting, I asked her this. It kind of took her by surprise because I was teasing her a lot and now we were having a different conversation. She chose flight and I told her all that stuff and she said that I was rightand had a huge smile. After that, Boom, make out. She pretty much attacked me and later she gave me her number. It was great! :woot: So use that nice bit.

[Angel_Faerie]

Angel, what did we talk about before? This is not the end of the world, and frankly, the depression/sadness/bleakness you felt might have been temporarily fixed by a boyfriend, but ultimately it would have been back with a vengeance as it has nothing to do with your life as a whole, but it has EVERYTHING to do with the fact you are not content or at peace with yourself, and as I said before, you've gotta find that on your own...no one can do it for you. You need "me time" big time, and you need to not look to other people to fix yourself. Time to take inventory of what you have in life and come to grips with who you are and who you want to be...only that will bring you out of your funk for good.

I've looking for other people to fix me because I don't fully know how to fix me myself. I don't even know where to start. I'm starting to make attempts, but don't really know what I'm doing.

This is what scares me, you're placing happiness on a person who is doing absolutely nothing to make you happy, aside from existing. You can't say that someone makes ur life worth living when they've done absolutely nothing to make that so. This is just like celebrity obsessions where you "fall in love" with someone after you see them, and you get so hooked to them that you refuse to believe that you'll never get all that you want from them. You basically live off false hope, which is really not healthy AT ALL.

Also, i think you're definitely a victim of this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unrequited_love


This is so QFT, that it's hard to measure just how QFT it is.

"Me time" is definitely a helpful tool. Not only does it help you think about the person that you were under this "influence", but it helps you learn more about yourself and become who you really are, while feeling comfortable about yourself and not worrying about what others think.

Like i said before, I was just like this as recent as a year ago. I took some time off with summer vacation and I "exiled" myself away from everyone. Now I'm back into the world and the difference really shows.

I guess he just took my mind of the bad things going on for a while more than anything else. Your celebrity crush comparison is spot on in a few areas, and misses the mark in others. Overall it works. The unrequited love thing is quite true. There's a song that perfectly describes what's going on with me. There's a few spots it doesn't fit, though.

tDVqndXhPHk

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Tip toe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from your grace
ooh

There's nowhere left to hide
In no one to confide
The truth burns deep inside
And will never die

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

yeah

Our wrongs remain unrectified
And our souls won't be exhumed

I don't want to completely isolate myself from other people. I'm lonely enough as it is and that would only make things worse....

[DoomRulz]

You're missing something in your life, and I don't think it's love. It's very possible that perhaps you're not ready for someone else to come into your life. Timing is everything in life.

[SpideyVille]

Uh ok, minor, possibly major setback here. So I know patience was the key here, but because of the peer pressure from my brother and his friend, there were a set of text messages shared between me and the girl today. The first were okay, but after my brother took my phone, he texted her saying i miss her. Honestly, while i wished he hadn't done that, i decided to let him because i wanted to know what she would say about that. She replied asking what i missed most, and my brother replied "everything ... do u miss me?" .. her reply was "umm. sure, ur a good guy and friend =p" .. i knew where his was heading but i gave the approval for my next reply anyway, " i feel the same ... i hope i can be more" ... her final reply was along the lines of her not knowing how to answer that, but that she's not ready for more because she just got out of a relationship and needs time to think things over. Now at first i was heartbroken, but i realize this may not mean im completely just in the friend zone yet. If it is, then by golly this all just sucks. But i'm kinda glad to know this because now i know where i stand and i dont have to feel nervous about something happening, or trying to make it happen. But my biggest concern is that things will be awkward after this. I replied that i completely understand, but i just wanted to make sure so that i don't do something stupid because i was thinking the wrong thing about us.

I feel like i know what i have to do, but i just need to talk to her alone now and get things straight. I'm happier to know this now instead of waiting and wondering about it for a while and finding out about it later, ubt i want her to know this too. I think she would completely understand and that things wont change or become awkward, but it all depends whether she'll just listen to me.

[Superman79]

I've looking for other people to fix me because I don't fully know how to fix me myself. I don't even know where to start. I'm starting to make attempts, but don't really know what I'm doing.

Angel, darlin, I hate to break it to you, but if YOU don't know how to fix yourself, no one in the world is gonna know how to fix you...

Sometimes you just have to fumble around in your heart, head, and life until the pieces fit. Though I will say this, you HAVE to do it yourself, because no one else short of God knows what you are thinking, regardless how much you share. Thus now is clearly a bad time for you to have a relationship, as if you expect some guy to fix you, you're gonna end up sorely disappointed...not to mention end up running him off by clinging to him as if he's the only thing in the world, and that just doesn't work babe. It'll just end up with you more damaged and quite possibly jaded as what a healthy relationship is.

Sometimes you just have to fight through things on your own to learn how to live.

"Don't despair, sometimes you have to scrape rock bottom before you appreciate life and start living again"-- Frank Sinatra

[Superman79]

Uh ok, minor, possibly major setback here. So I know patience was the key here, but because of the peer pressure from my brother and his friend, there were a set of text messages shared between me and the girl today. The first were okay, but after my brother took my phone, he texted her saying i miss her. Honestly, while i wished he hadn't done that, i decided to let him because i wanted to know what she would say about that. She replied asking what i missed most, and my brother replied "everything ... do u miss me?" .. her reply was "umm. sure, ur a good guy and friend =p" .. i knew where his was heading but i gave the approval for my next reply anyway, " i feel the same ... i hope i can be more" ... her final reply was along the lines of her not knowing how to answer that, but that she's not ready for more because she just got out of a relationship and needs time to think things over. Now at first i was heartbroken, but i realize this may not mean im completely just in the friend zone yet. If it is, then by golly this all just sucks. But i'm kinda glad to know this because now i know where i stand and i dont have to feel nervous about something happening, or trying to make it happen. But my biggest concern is that things will be awkward after this. I replied that i completely understand, but i just wanted to make sure so that i don't do something stupid because i was thinking the wrong thing about us.

I feel like i know what i have to do, but i just need to talk to her alone now and get things straight. I'm happier to know this now instead of waiting and wondering about it for a while and finding out about it later, ubt i want her to know this too. I think she would completely understand and that things wont change or become awkward, but it all depends whether she'll just listen to me.

OK, first off, smack your brother for doing what he did. Sure you wanna know whats going on, but by freakin TEXT is the worst way to gauge reactions and emotions. Bad move. Especailly the "you misss me?" crap...what is your brother trying to do screw this entire thing for you??? Geez. Hell, I wanna slap the guy. Of course, you never should have gone past that, but you did. Over and done with, nothing to change.

Still, now you have an idea. You're not in the friend zone yet, and you're not b/f material yet, but thats just the way things go when a girl gets set free at first. Just keep playing it cool, don't be too clingy, watch the "friendly" talk, and give her a bit of time. Sure you haven't won the game, but you haven't lost yet. SO you took a punch, no biggie. Just stick to your game plan and your gut and you'll be fine...oh, and no more letting your brother text stupid s**t like that...it just leads to major mix ups and unread emotion.

As for awkward, well I'd just play it cool and not dig a deeper hole by trying to explain everything away, but that's just me. If you can play it cool, be around, and yes, ask her out anyway (just maybe hold off a bit...double check that with the other guys), frankly, if she likes you even a little she'll still go out and give you a chance, even if it takes her a bit longer to warm to the idea of calling it 'dating' or a relationship. But no more of this "worried I might think the wrong thing" stuff, or at least admitting it to her...again its wishy-washy...be confident, be there, be you, and it'll work out.

[Superman79]

I don't want to completely isolate myself from other people. I'm lonely enough as it is and that would only make things worse....

We're not saying you should isolate, nor have we ever said that. We said take some 'me' time, and spend some quality time with friends and family. We just think this chasing/obsessing/fawning/guilt tripping Colter stuff is not healthy for you or your sense of self. We're not saying you can't hang with friends or even date, we're just saying you should back off of this fella as it just isn't happening, and you're just setting yourself up for REAL heartbreak by keeping with this infatuation.

[SpideyVille]

OK, first off, smack your brother for doing what he did. Sure you wanna know whats going on, but by freakin TEXT is the worst way to gauge reactions and emotions. Bad move. Especailly the "you misss me?" crap...what is your brother trying to do screw this entire thing for you??? Geez. Hell, I wanna slap the guy. Of course, you never should have gone past that, but you did. Over and done with, nothing to change.

Still, now you have an idea. You're not in the friend zone yet, and you're not b/f material yet, but thats just the way things go when a girl gets set free at first. Just keep playing it cool, don't be too clingy, watch the "friendly" talk, and give her a bit of time. Sure you haven't won the game, but you haven't lost yet. SO you took a punch, no biggie. Just stick to your game plan and your gut and you'll be fine...oh, and no more letting your brother text stupid s**t like that...it just leads to major mix ups and unread emotion.

As for awkward, well I'd just play it cool and not dig a deeper hole by trying to explain everything away, but that's just me. If you can play it cool, be around, and yes, ask her out anyway (just maybe hold off a bit...double check that with the other guys), frankly, if she likes you even a little she'll still go out and give you a chance, even if it takes her a bit longer to warm to the idea of calling it 'dating' or a relationship. But no more of this "worried I might think the wrong thing" stuff, or at least admitting it to her...again its wishy-washy...be confident, be there, be you, and it'll work out.
Yea, i really hated the "do u miss me thing" because i feel like i could've learned a lot by her reaction w/o asking. If she said she missed me too then i would know i meant something, but since she asked her own question, then that just shows i wasn't all that much to her just yet. But I guess that is the lesson I had to learn from this.

And I was gonna explain things to her, but then she im-ed as if nothing had happened, so i figured maybe it's best to leave it as it was and sweep it under the rug for now. But as long as she still gives me a chance, I know i'll be more comfortable now knowing that I shouldn't worry about trying to make a move.

[Erzengel]

I'm surprised since your brother is married and like what 28? I think you've stated how he's had "success" with ladies at your age or something? That's not only a rookie mistake that's an f' up regardless if she's acting it like it didn't happen.

However, while your brother is to blame you did kinda did let him because it seemed like you were somewhat interested in her response. I am sensing a "impatience" in your posts and you already want her to be your girlfriend when you should really let this take it's course.

[SpideyVille]

I'm surprised since your brother is married and like what 28? I think you've stated how he's had "success" with ladies at your age or something? That's not only a rookie mistake that's an f' up regardless if she's acting it like it didn't happen.

However, while your brother is to blame you did kinda did let him because it seemed like you were somewhat interested in her response. I am sensing a "impatience" in your posts and you already want her to be your girlfriend when you should really let this take it's course.
Actually, my brother had just as little success as me when he was my age. In fact, it was his girl that approached him first, and he didn't know what to do. But his gf's brother was there too and i'd say he is pretty successful with the ladies.

But yea, i can say there is some impatience lingering inside me. I mean things seem to be good between and we're so alike that it just feels weird that nothing has happened yet, and i figured maybe this was a move in the right direction as to "Get the ball rolling". And, well now I got my answer my things haven't happened yet. But now only time will tell what effect it will have.

But idk, we were talking last night and I was saying how I had wake up early to be somewhere, but I wasn't sure if i'd go because i had a lot of work to finish and i wasn't sure that i'd wake up early enough. And she offered to be my 'wake up' call this morning. I accepted her offer, and not only did i get to speak a little to her this morning, but I also got her home phone number in the process.

[Cunning Stunts]

I've looking for other people to fix me because I don't fully know how to fix me myself. I don't even know where to start. I'm starting to make attempts, but don't really know what I'm doing.

I guess he just took my mind of the bad things going on for a while more than anything else. Your celebrity crush comparison is spot on in a few areas, and misses the mark in others. Overall it works. The unrequited love thing is quite true. There's a song that perfectly describes what's going on with me. There's a few spots it doesn't fit, though.

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Tip toe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from your grace
ooh

There's nowhere left to hide
In no one to confide
The truth burns deep inside
And will never die

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

yeah

Our wrongs remain unrectified
And our souls won't be exhumed

I don't want to completely isolate myself from other people. I'm lonely enough as it is and that would only make things worse....

For one, don't isolate yourself at all. That's not smart at all... It's horrible for your mental health.

For two, you don't need to fix yourself. If a guy isn't attracted to you because of who you are, and you become someone else to gain his attraction (and it succeeds), guess what! He still doesn't like you. He likes someone you're pretending to be.

For three, enough of the poems, the sadness, and whining. You're doing absolutely nothing for yourself by coming to the Hype looking for validation of your reasons for still liking him (especially when we, of all people, are telling you to cut it out). In fact, your doing yourself in, and setting yourself back. You're becoming your own worst enemy because you're (apparently) completely codependent, and you're allowing yourself to be that way.

If you're going to come here for advice, I'll tell you the same thing I told the last guy who pulled this- listen, or don't ask for advice.