*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Cunning Stunts]

Yea, i really hated the "do u miss me thing" because i feel like i could've learned a lot by her reaction w/o asking. If she said she missed me too then i would know i meant something, but since she asked her own question, then that just shows i wasn't all that much to her just yet. But I guess that is the lesson I had to learn from this.

And I was gonna explain things to her, but then she im-ed as if nothing had happened, so i figured maybe it's best to leave it as it was and sweep it under the rug for now. But as long as she still gives me a chance, I know i'll be more comfortable now knowing that I shouldn't worry about trying to make a move.


Yeah, dude, if she asks what happened, the most I would say was, "My brother was just being an ass... Sorry about all that." Don't get into any details. Over-explanation seemed to be the bane of my dating existence a few years ago... I'd try to add details to things that didn't need details, thinking it'd help, and it would just make the situation worse, and I'd wind up wanting to slap myself for it.

Just play it cool:up:.

[SpideyVille]

Yeah, dude, if she asks what happened, the most I would say was, "My brother was just being an ass... Sorry about all that." Don't get into any details. Over-explanation seemed to be the bane of my dating existence a few years ago... I'd try to add details to things that didn't need details, thinking it'd help, and it would just make the situation worse, and I'd wind up wanting to slap myself for it.

Just play it cool:up:.

Yea, i'm very grateful that she's still acting as though nothing happened because if she was different, then I would also start to act different and things would really never go anywhere.

Next step: Find out tomorrow what she's doing after the play on Thursday, and try to plan something for us to do in together if she's free.

[Erzengel]

What show are you seeing? Like I said, you 2 maybe getting out late, so you might want to either A) just walk her home by telling her, "I'd feel better if you didn't walk home alone." B) do something before the show. or C) both.

[amazingfantasy15]

Actually, my brother had just as little success as me when he was my age. In fact, it was his girl that approached him first, and he didn't know what to do. But his gf's brother was there too and i'd say he is pretty successful with the ladies.

But yea, i can say there is some impatience lingering inside me. I mean things seem to be good between and we're so alike that it just feels weird that nothing has happened yet, and i figured maybe this was a move in the right direction as to "Get the ball rolling". And, well now I got my answer my things haven't happened yet. But now only time will tell what effect it will have.

But idk, we were talking last night and I was saying how I had wake up early to be somewhere, but I wasn't sure if i'd go because i had a lot of work to finish and i wasn't sure that i'd wake up early enough. And she offered to be my 'wake up' call this morning. I accepted her offer, and not only did i get to speak a little to her this morning, but I also got her home phone number in the process.

Ok, you seemed to have gotten past this unfortunate incident with minimal damage. However, don't ever bring up the text thing again, if she brings it up, tell her it was your brother being a moron. Also, rent Swingers and watch the scene where Mikey gets home from the bar and leaves a message(s) for the girl he met, this is what your brother did, luckily you've been working a better game.

Getting the wake up call and home phone number is a great news though. I know you got the friends thing, but it really does sound like something more than just friends, I'm thinking it was just getting back into a corner by your brother. However, the relationship door is closing cause you haven't made a move, it doesn't have to be some big romantic gesture. It could be something small, remembering something she mentioned she liked or wanted (something small) and buying it for her, say you just passed by a store and saw it though, don't give the impression you went out of your way to get it, even if you did. Make sure it's something small though, small as in inexpensive.

[Superman79]

Ok, you seemed to have gotten past this unfortunate incident with minimal damage. However, don't ever bring up the text thing again, if she brings it up, tell her it was your brother being a moron. Also, rent Swingers and watch the scene where Mikey gets home from the bar and leaves a message(s) for the girl he met, this is what your brother did, luckily you've been working a better game.

Getting the wake up call and home phone number is a great news though. I know you got the friends thing, but it really does sound like something more than just friends, I'm thinking it was just getting back into a corner by your brother. However, the relationship door is closing cause you haven't made a move, it doesn't have to be some big romantic gesture. It could be something small, remembering something she mentioned she liked or wanted (something small) and buying it for her, say you just passed by a store and saw it though, don't give the impression you went out of your way to get it, even if you did. Make sure it's something small though, small as in inexpensive.

I really wanna smack Spidey's brother for that...stupid stupid stupid.

BUT its water under the bridge.

As for the romatic gesture, I'd try for a hand hold walking home from the show, or getting her out on a real date before I got to the "gift" idea...just because it can be a very fine line to walk with gifts...if you do get her anything, make sure it is SMALL...and yes, inexpensive...almost like a cutsie novelty thing...the importance is not the gift, but that you were thinking of her and most importantly PAYING ATTENTION to what she's been saying and doing. :up:

[Erzengel]

Agreed.

What show is Spiderville seeing btw?

[DV8]

Uh ok, minor, possibly major setback here. So I know patience was the key here, but because of the peer pressure from my brother and his friend, there were a set of text messages shared between me and the girl today. The first were okay, but after my brother took my phone, he texted her saying i miss her. Honestly, while i wished he hadn't done that, i decided to let him because i wanted to know what she would say about that. She replied asking what i missed most, and my brother replied "everything ... do u miss me?" .. her reply was "umm. sure, ur a good guy and friend =p" .. i knew where his was heading but i gave the approval for my next reply anyway, " i feel the same ... i hope i can be more" ... her final reply was along the lines of her not knowing how to answer that, but that she's not ready for more because she just got out of a relationship and needs time to think things over. Now at first i was heartbroken, but i realize this may not mean im completely just in the friend zone yet. If it is, then by golly this all just sucks. But i'm kinda glad to know this because now i know where i stand and i dont have to feel nervous about something happening, or trying to make it happen. But my biggest concern is that things will be awkward after this. I replied that i completely understand, but i just wanted to make sure so that i don't do something stupid because i was thinking the wrong thing about us.

I feel like i know what i have to do, but i just need to talk to her alone now and get things straight. I'm happier to know this now instead of waiting and wondering about it for a while and finding out about it later, ubt i want her to know this too. I think she would completely understand and that things wont change or become awkward, but it all depends whether she'll just listen to me.

AGH!!! your brother is such a cock-blocker!!! :cmad: and an unintentional cockblocker, at that!! The WORST kind!! :down:

[amazingfantasy15]

I've tried all that, Erz. Didn't work.

Ok, here's the cold, hard truth, you haven't tried at all. You keep saying you're trying, but then you come here with a poem or a tale of a friend telling you he's not at school today, you want to keep hope alive where it isn't. However, this isn't the end of the world, it's just you're first time dealing with heartbreak, only instead of trying to get past it, you cling to whatever string this guy will dangle before you and that just makes it that much worse and harder to get over him. It seems so intense right now because you see so many other people in relationships and want the happiness you see them having. You need to find someway to get over this. Writing about it on MySpace was a really dumb move too and probably subconciously a ploy to get him to find out how you feel because writing it there puts it out there for the whole world to see, you should've just written it in a journal. I don't know what to tell you to get over him, but you need to and know that it will get better if you let yourself get over him, but it's gonna continue to suck until that happens.

[Superman79]

Agreed.

What show is Spiderville seeing btw?

No clue.

[amazingfantasy15]

I really wanna smack Spidey's brother for that...stupid stupid stupid.

BUT its water under the bridge.

As for the romatic gesture, I'd try for a hand hold walking home from the show, or getting her out on a real date before I got to the "gift" idea...just because it can be a very fine line to walk with gifts...if you do get her anything, make sure it is SMALL...and yes, inexpensive...almost like a cutsie novelty thing...the importance is not the gift, but that you were thinking of her and most importantly PAYING ATTENTION to what she's been saying and doing. :up:

Yeah, obviously some type of physical romantic gesture would be best, but maybe some cutesy novety thing will get her to make that first move, that's what I was going for. It could be that little nudge that's needed to move things into the next stage of the game. Nothing overly romantic though, small and inexpensivem but something she's mentioned liking, something that would probably seem insignificant to the anyone else.

[Superman79]

Yeah, obviously some type of physical romantic gesture would be best, but maybe some cutesy novety thing will get her to make that first move, that's what I was going for. It could be that little nudge that's needed to move things into the next stage of the game. Nothing overly romantic though, small and inexpensivem but something she's mentioned liking.

I know what you were shooting for AF15, I just wanted to further clarify things for Spidey so we didn't spiral into a GR87 style debacle :woot:

[SpideyVille]

What show are you seeing? Like I said, you 2 maybe getting out late, so you might want to either A) just walk her home by telling her, "I'd feel better if you didn't walk home alone." B) do something before the show. or C) both.

Agreed.

What show is Spiderville seeing btw?

We're seeing some show called 'In the Heights'. It starts at 8pm,which means we'll be getting out by 10:30-ish. And yea, i'm definitely striving towards C, but i'd gladly take A as a consolation prize. The only problem is how we'd get home since we'll be in the city and we both live in the Bronx. I'd hate to do the train, so I guess cab would be the best bet. My brother said he would offer to pick us up, but it's better if we had some alone time instead.

Ok, you seemed to have gotten past this unfortunate incident with minimal damage. However, don't ever bring up the text thing again, if she brings it up, tell her it was your brother being a moron. Also, rent Swingers and watch the scene where Mikey gets home from the bar and leaves a message(s) for the girl he met, this is what your brother did, luckily you've been working a better game.

Getting the wake up call and home phone number is a great news though. I know you got the friends thing, but it really does sound like something more than just friends, I'm thinking it was just getting back into a corner by your brother. However, the relationship door is closing cause you haven't made a move, it doesn't have to be some big romantic gesture. It could be something small, remembering something she mentioned she liked or wanted (something small) and buying it for her, say you just passed by a store and saw it though, don't give the impression you went out of your way to get it, even if you did. Make sure it's something small though, small as in inexpensive.
Yea, but like i said before, the text thing was bad, but it helped me find out where she was coming from. She's not sure if she's ready to be in a relationship just yet, since she broke up with her bf of 4 years just a while ago, like a month ago when we started to talk. so i'm not sure how well trying to make a move is. Though, we are getting to the hug phase when we say goodbye, and she always tells me we'll talk later. It's sorta become a routine that she im's me every night.

And idk about the gift, she hasn't really mentioned anything that she would want to me yet. At least not possession wise.

I really wanna smack Spidey's brother for that...stupid stupid stupid.

BUT its water under the bridge.

As for the romatic gesture, I'd try for a hand hold walking home from the show, or getting her out on a real date before I got to the "gift" idea...just because it can be a very fine line to walk with gifts...if you do get her anything, make sure it is SMALL...and yes, inexpensive...almost like a cutsie novelty thing...the importance is not the gift, but that you were thinking of her and most importantly PAYING ATTENTION to what she's been saying and doing. :up:
Yes, it has definitely appeared to be water under the bridge now. I kinda feel like things are actually much better now, but only because of a talk we had late last night, though at the same it could also be bad. Like she's become very religious over the past few months, and she feels like they're a reason why we met when we did, and it may be because i need her help in making my life better or something. Like we were really trying to find a deeper meaning on why me and her are almost exactly alike and think the same way and can almost read each other's mind. Like we've been opening up to each other a lot more lately, and we can really relate to what we've been through, even with things where we felt we were the only ones to go through. It's cool, but weird at the same time. Like we're TOO much alike.

AGH!!! your brother is such a cock-blocker!!! :cmad: and an unintentional cockblocker, at that!! The WORST kind!! :down:
Yea he is, esp since he had in his mind that things were way different between me n her. Like she would prolly know that it's out of my character to text her saying i miss her and stuff, especially since i JUST got her number the day before.

[Erzengel]

Well, just ask her how are you going home after the show:

If she responds oh, my dad is coming to get me (You state oh good, I wouldn't want you going home by yourself) or if she says I'm just going to take the subway home (I'd feel better if you didn't walk home alone).

This is how contigency thoughts/plans. You could also throw in about getting there earlier so you can grab a bite to eat.

[DV8]

Though, we are getting to the hug phase when we say goodbye, and she always tells me we'll talk later. It's sorta become a routine that she im's me every night.

Yes, it has definitely appeared to be water under the bridge now. I kinda feel like things are actually much better now, but only because of a talk we had late last night, though at the same it could also be bad. Like she's become very religious over the past few months, and she feels like they're a reason why we met when we did, and it may be because i need her help in making my life better or something. Like we were really trying to find a deeper meaning on why me and her are almost exactly alike and think the same way and can almost read each other's mind. Like we've been opening up to each other a lot more lately, and we can really relate to what we've been through, even with things where we felt we were the only ones to go through. It's cool, but weird at the same time. Like we're TOO much alike.


ok . . . the hugs can be your best friend and your worst enemy . . . I know you want to take it slow and not rush things, but at some point soon; like pry within the next week, you're gonna wanna 'escalate' the hug a bit . . . a nice trick is while you're hugging her, whisper something sweet into her ear, like a nice complement . . . once you do that, you can easily convert said whisper into a kiss on the neck or cheek :up:

tell her God must have brought you guys together to bone some day LMAO!! I'm serious, if you say something to that effect, it will come off as funny yet simultaneously plant the seed for action later :cool:

[Superman79]

We're seeing some show called 'In the Heights'. It starts at 8pm,which means we'll be getting out by 10:30-ish. And yea, i'm definitely striving towards C, but i'd gladly take A as a consolation prize. The only problem is how we'd get home since we'll be in the city and we both live in the Bronx. I'd hate to do the train, so I guess cab would be the best bet. My brother said he would offer to pick us up, but it's better if we had some alone time instead.

Damn right, and after the text thing I would say keep him away from her at all costs to prevent any further stupidity. So get a cab if need be, and find a good place for dinner or whatnot before the show.


Yea, but like i said before, the text thing was bad, but it helped me find out where she was coming from. She's not sure if she's ready to be in a relationship just yet, since she broke up with her bf of 4 years just a while ago, like a month ago when we started to talk. so i'm not sure how well trying to make a move is. Though, we are getting to the hug phase when we say goodbye, and she always tells me we'll talk later. It's sorta become a routine that she im's me every night.

I don't care what it meant for you...it was bad. You're just lucky she's forgiving. Just move slow and try the hand hold or whatnot...nothing ventured nothing gained. Plus it will certainly help gauge her affection a bit more. Hugs are good, but hell, I hug my female friends hello and goodbye, so don't read too much in that...go for a handhold or something similar.

And idk about the gift, she hasn't really mentioned anything that she would want to me yet. At least not possession wise.

It doesn't have to be a gift per se...just a little novelty or something, hell if she goes on about how she LOVES peanut M&M's then grab a small bag for her the next time you're out and give them. The thing is not the gift, the thing is what the gift symbolizes: that you are a guy who genuinely listens and pays attention to her.


Yes, it has definitely appeared to be water under the bridge now. I kinda feel like things are actually much better now, but only because of a talk we had late last night, though at the same it could also be bad. Like she's become very religious over the past few months, and she feels like they're a reason why we met when we did, and it may be because i need her help in making my life better or something. Like we were really trying to find a deeper meaning on why me and her are almost exactly alike and think the same way and can almost read each other's mind. Like we've been opening up to each other a lot more lately, and we can really relate to what we've been through, even with things where we felt we were the only ones to go through. It's cool, but weird at the same time. Like we're TOO much alike.

Ok, this is starting to look a bit friendly to me. Of course that's not always the case, but if you start getting into deep "puppy dogs and ice cream" conversations without blatantly making your intentions known, it CAN (not always) lead to the friend zone. Just a thought.


Yea he is, esp since he had in his mind that things were way different between me n her. Like she would prolly know that it's out of my character to text her saying i miss her and stuff, especially since i JUST got her number the day before.

I still say slap him :p

[Erzengel]

Call me old fashioned but I prefer the direct approach and just leaning in for a kiss.

Of course, you have to pick up on the signs, body language and what not, to know you are in, for example an overly touchy girl or an obvious one of her being very cozy towards you.

[SpideyVille]

Well, just ask her how are you going home after the show:

If she responds oh, my dad is coming to get me (You state oh good, I wouldn't want you going home by yourself) or if she says I'm just going to take the subway home (I'd feel better if you didn't walk home alone).

This is how contigency thoughts/plans. You could also throw in about getting there earlier so you can grab a bite to eat.

Ok good, I like this. And i find out soon before she ends up making plans afterwards, because i know last week she had completely forgotten about the show being this week.

ok . . . the hugs can be your best friend and your worst enemy . . . I know you want to take it slow and not rush things, but at some point soon; like pry within the next week, you're gonna wanna 'escalate' the hug a bit . . . a nice trick is while you're hugging her, whisper something sweet into her ear, like a nice complement . . . once you do that, you can easily convert said whisper into a kiss on the neck or cheek :up:

tell her God must have brought you guys together to bone some day LMAO!! I'm serious, if you say something to that effect, it will come off as funny yet simultaneously plant the seed for action later :cool:
LMAOOOOO nooooo. I've been trying to plant the idea the we were meant for something more, but at this phase i know it wouldn't work to do that much since she told me she's not ready for anything more just yet, and isn't even sure on what she wants at the moment. So while things may be going good right now, I still feel like i have to be extra careful.

But yea, the way i see it is that hugs are bringing us closer together, and setting up for some slow escalation of touching later on. And sometimes they come unexpectedly, so it's hard to do that trick ... but it is a good one :woot: :up: And unless we plan to meet up and/or she has plans for spring break, we're not going to see each other next week.

[Superman79]

ok . . . the hugs can be your best friend and your worst enemy . . . I know you want to take it slow and not rush things, but at some point soon; like pry within the next week, you're gonna wanna 'escalate' the hug a bit . . . a nice trick is while you're hugging her, whisper something sweet into her ear, like a nice complement . . . once you do that, you can easily convert said whisper into a kiss on the neck or cheek :up:

I like to whisper sweet nothings like: "Taste the rainbow..."

tell her God must have brought you guys together to bone some day LMAO!! I'm serious, if you say something to that effect, it will come off as funny yet simultaneously plant the seed for action later :cool:

Or you could offend her :whatever:...gauge the comment by what you know her humor is like...

[DV8]

LMAOOOOO nooooo. I've been trying to plant the idea the we were meant for something more, but at this phase i know it wouldn't work to do that much since she told me she's not ready for anything more just yet, and isn't even sure on what she wants at the moment. So while things may be going good right now, I still feel like i have to be extra careful.

But yea, the way i see it is that hugs are bringing us closer together, and setting up for some slow escalation of touching later on. And sometimes they come unexpectedly, so it's hard to do that trick ... but it is a good one :woot: :up: And unless we plan to meet up and/or she has plans for spring break, we're not going to see each other next week.

haha, ok fair enough; I hear what you mean, and you're right about not wanting to come on too strong . . .

but yeah, I'm telling you; you want to initiate more contact, regardless; you have to in a way, condition her to think of you when she thinks pleasure or happy feelings . . . draw the hug out a little; and then whisper something like "wow, you smell wonderful" or "you look lovely (or applicable adjective) today"; this isn't really any pressure on her, it just makes her feel good :up: and it's putting your intentions out there a little more

[SpideyVille]

I don't care what it meant for you...it was bad. You're just lucky she's forgiving. Just move slow and try the hand hold or whatnot...nothing ventured nothing gained. Plus it will certainly help gauge her affection a bit more. Hugs are good, but hell, I hug my female friends hello and goodbye, so don't read too much in that...go for a handhold or something similar.I still don't know about the hand thing. I mean she said she's not sure if she wants anything more just yet, so I don't wanna see too agressive in trying to make her change her mind.


It doesn't have to be a gift per se...just a little novelty or something, hell if she goes on about how she LOVES peanut M&M's then grab a small bag for her the next time you're out and give them. The thing is not the gift, the thing is what the gift symbolizes: that you are a guy who genuinely listens and pays attention to her.
Okayy, I completely understand now.

Ok, this is starting to look a bit friendly to me. Of course that's not always the case, but if you start getting into deep "puppy dogs and ice cream" conversations without blatantly making your intentions known, it CAN (not always) lead to the friend zone. Just a thought.Care to elaborate on exactly what those deep convos are referring to, and how to make my intentions clearly known.

Call me old fashioned but I prefer the direct approach and just leaning in for a kiss.

Of course, you have to pick up on the signs, body language and what not, to know you are in, for example an overly touchy girl or an obvious one of her being very cozy towards you.Yea she's very shy and doesn't give much body language or signs. Then again, if she did, i'd prolly wouldn't catch them.

[SpideyVille]

I like to whisper sweet nothings like: "Taste the rainbow..."
lmao, that's completely random, but i think i can do something similar next time.

Or you could offend her :whatever:...gauge the comment by what you know her humor is like...True, and i'm still learning about her humor. Gotta make sure i don't cross that line to what's funny or not.

haha, ok fair enough; I hear what you mean, and you're right about not wanting to come on too strong . . .

but yeah, I'm telling you; you want to initiate more contact, regardless; you have to in a way, condition her to think of you when she thinks pleasure or happy feelings . . . draw the hug out a little; and then whisper something like "wow, you smell wonderful" or "you look lovely (or applicable adjective) today"; this isn't really any pressure on her, it just makes her feel good :up: and it's putting your intentions out there a little more

Well that whole message about not being sure has really scared me for this. I mean i would've done something like this before when i was looking to make a clear move. ut now i'm just being cautious.

[DV8]

I like to whisper sweet nothings like: "Taste the rainbow..."

haha

Or you could offend her :whatever:...gauge the comment by what you know her humor is like...


well I figured spidey would be able to read between the lines w/ that one . . . the goal here is insinuations, and I guess he's doing okay at that but I want to see more :o

[DV8]

does anyone else feel like we're different character's from that show Herman's Head, and spideyville is Herman?? :O

[Erzengel]

Spiderville, one thing is you have to play it cool with her, we discussed how impatient you are and obviously overly excited. She likes you it's obvious from what you are saying, however you don't want to come off overbearing. You are trying to treat that bf/gf is the first goal when it should be like 3 or 4th.

You 2 haven't even been on a real date yet, work towards that as painfully slow as it is. Quit trying to rush it or else you will come off as overbearing and pushy, big turn off for some women.

Work on trying to get "a" date on Thursday, that should be your only focus, try not to get a definite "answer" in terms of what you 2 are to each other right now.

[Superman79]

Spiderville, one thing is you have to play it cool with her, we discussed how impatient you are and obviously overly excited. She likes you it's obvious from what you are saying, however you don't want to come off overbearing. You are trying to treat that bf/gf is the first goal when it should be like 3 or 4th.

You 2 haven't even been on a real date yet, work towards that as painfully slow as it is. Quit trying to rush it or else you will come off as overbearing and pushy, big turn off for some women.

Work on trying to get "a" date on Thursday, that should be your only focus, try not to get a definite "answer" in terms of what you 2 are to each other right now.

Exactly.

As to my thing about holding her hand, it shows affection beyond a hug, yet is not nearly as forward as a kiss. See what I'm saying?

As to showing unadulterated interest in her, the date, hand hold, or even a deep genuine compliment can convey that "beyond friends" vibe enough to prevent the friend labeling.

[amazingfantasy15]

We're seeing some show called 'In the Heights'. It starts at 8pm,which means we'll be getting out by 10:30-ish. And yea, i'm definitely striving towards C, but i'd gladly take A as a consolation prize. The only problem is how we'd get home since we'll be in the city and we both live in the Bronx. I'd hate to do the train, so I guess cab would be the best bet. My brother said he would offer to pick us up, but it's better if we had some alone time instead.

Yea, but like i said before, the text thing was bad, but it helped me find out where she was coming from. She's not sure if she's ready to be in a relationship just yet, since she broke up with her bf of 4 years just a while ago, like a month ago when we started to talk. so i'm not sure how well trying to make a move is. Though, we are getting to the hug phase when we say goodbye, and she always tells me we'll talk later. It's sorta become a routine that she im's me every night.

And idk about the gift, she hasn't really mentioned anything that she would want to me yet. At least not possession wise.

Yes, it has definitely appeared to be water under the bridge now. I kinda feel like things are actually much better now, but only because of a talk we had late last night, though at the same it could also be bad. Like she's become very religious over the past few months, and she feels like they're a reason why we met when we did, and it may be because i need her help in making my life better or something. Like we were really trying to find a deeper meaning on why me and her are almost exactly alike and think the same way and can almost read each other's mind. Like we've been opening up to each other a lot more lately, and we can really relate to what we've been through, even with things where we felt we were the only ones to go through. It's cool, but weird at the same time. Like we're TOO much alike.

Yea he is, esp since he had in his mind that things were way different between me n her. Like she would prolly know that it's out of my character to text her saying i miss her and stuff, especially since i JUST got her number the day before.

Damn, these are some seriously mixed signals. There's so many signs that she likes you, but that recent breakup seems to be f'ing things up for you. You definitely more of a real date because whether she's willing to admit or not, it sounds like she does like you, you two just need to get in a situation that will allow one of you to make that first move. The recently broken up girl is always tricky, come on too strong too soon and you'll just be a rebound, don't come on strong enough soon enough and you're just a friend.

[SpideyVille]

Spiderville, one thing is you have to play it cool with her, we discussed how impatient you are and obviously overly excited. She likes you it's obvious from what you are saying, however you don't want to come off overbearing. You are trying to treat that bf/gf is the first goal when it should be like 3 or 4th.

You 2 haven't even been on a real date yet, work towards that as painfully slow as it is. Quit trying to rush it or else you will come off as overbearing and pushy, big turn off for some women.

Work on trying to get "a" date on Thursday, that should be your only focus, try not to get a definite "answer" in terms of what you 2 are to each other right now.
You're exactly right. I'm expecting too much to happen in a short time. I just need to hang back and relax. Things are going good, there's no reason why i should try to force anything to happen.
Exactly.

As to my thing about holding her hand, it shows affection beyond a hug, yet is not nearly as forward as a kiss. See what I'm saying?

As to showing unadulterated interest in her, the date, hand hold, or even a deep genuine compliment can convey that "beyond friends" vibe enough to prevent the friend labeling.
I completely understand. The hand holding would just show that there's something more there, while a hug doesn't necessarily convey that.

And yea, I've been throwing her some compliments that should definitely give her the impression that i like her alone and think of her more highly than others. It's all just on her to react to them.

Damn, these are some seriously mixed signals. There's so many signs that she likes you, but that recent breakup seems to be f'ing things up for you. You definitely more of a real date because whether she's willing to admit or not, it sounds like she does like you, you two just need to get in a situation that will allow one of you to make that first move. The recently broken up girl is always tricky, come on too strong too soon and you'll just be a rebound, don't come on strong enough soon enough and you're just a friend.
Well she broke up maybe a month ago. I don't know if a rebound would take that long. But since it was her that broke the relationship off, would she really be looking for a rebound?

But yea that's how i feel. Like they're so many reasons why we should be together, but it's like something is preventing it. I guess only a real date can fix that.

[PyroChamber]

Is it just me, or are most relationships (if not all) usually all about keeping the woman happy instead of it being sort of equal?

[Erzengel]

Why would a guy stay in a relationship if he's not happy? :huh:

[uchiha_itachi]

sex

[DoomRulz]

Is it just me, or are most relationships (if not all) usually all about keeping the woman happy instead of it being sort of equal?

Marriage is usually meant for the bride. Apply that analogy, and you'll get your answer.

[Jessica Drew]

I just wanted to thank those who offered me advice about my possible relationship with my lesbian bestfriend and update you all. Well, we tryed having a relationship that lasted three days before she told me that this was a "miserable life to lead" and that I deserved a guy. Well, my ex-boyfriend/ ex-bestfriend knew that we were having trouble and was really worried about me so he called her up and found out that she had just broken up with me. Well, we ended up spending the entire day together because he wanted to make me feel better and he ended up kissing me. She called me a few minutes later to discuss if I really wanted a relationship and I told her out of guilt that he and I had kissed. Well, we've all been friends for a while now after that, but me and my lesbian bestfriend are having difficulty keeping our hands off each other when we're around each other, so we don't hang out. I think that she might be open to start things up again, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

[DV8]

I just wanted to thank those who offered me advice about my possible relationship with my lesbian bestfriend and update you all. Well, we tryed having a relationship that lasted three days before she told me that this was a "miserable life to lead" and that I deserved a guy. Well, my ex-boyfriend/ ex-bestfriend knew that we were having trouble and was really worried about me so he called her up and found out that she had just broken up with me. Well, we ended up spending the entire day together because he wanted to make me feel better and he ended up kissing me. She called me a few minutes later to discuss if I really wanted a relationship and I told her out of guilt that he and I had kissed. Well, we've all been friends for a while now after that, but me and my lesbian bestfriend are having difficulty keeping our hands off each other when we're around each other, so we don't hang out. I think that she might be open to start things up again, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

there's only one reasonable thing you can do now . . . .























tape the lesbian sex and post it here :ninja:

[SpideyVille]

Is it just me, or are most relationships (if not all) usually all about keeping the woman happy instead of it being sort of equal?
Well in some cases, the guy is happy just to have the girl there with him. So naturally, the way to keep the girl there is to make her happy. When you make her happy, you're making yourself happy too because you're making sure she stays with you, and that's all you need to be happy.

At least, that's how I like to look at it. But hey, I've been wrong before.:O

[Rando Aces]

k solve this people.

i like a girl. shes really pretty and beautiful and fun to be with. she doesnt like me.

calculators are permitted.

[DV8]

k solve this people.

i like a girl. shes really pretty and beautiful and fun to be with. she doesnt like me.

calculators are permitted.

you don't even need a calculator to know that there are plenty fish in the sea, and all that jazz . . . move on to chat up several other beautiful ladies, and the odds are you'll score with one eventually :up:

[Rando Aces]

but i have the fatness! cure me doc!

[DV8]

but i have the fatness! cure me doc!

doesn't even matter!! go rent The Tao of Steve, take two and call me in the morning ;) you'll turn the fatness into phatness :up:

oh yeah, and exercise :o

[Superman79]

but i have the fatness! cure me doc!

If you have a good personality you can get past that, OR

you can do like I did, get ahold of yourself start a decent diet and go work out like a fiend...that and check out the Hype Workout Thread (http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=219170)


Thus is my recommendation for that. As for the girl DV8 is right...move along, you can't force someone to like/love you.

[turtlefocker]

here is the plan guys; we all die alone. Deal?

[DoomRulz]

If I go down, I'm taking you with me!

[Cunning Stunts]

but i have the fatness! cure me doc!

For one, if you don't want to be overweight, get in a gym or on some sort of exercise program and dedicate yourself to a healthier diet (not necessarily a smaller one).

Second, if you girls will seriously date bigger guys if they've got the personality to "make up" for it. I know some big guys who get girls all the time because they're smart, hilarious, and fun to be around. Worry more about improving your physical well-being for your own health, not to impress some girl:up:.

[amazingfantasy15]

I just wanted to thank those who offered me advice about my possible relationship with my lesbian bestfriend and update you all. Well, we tryed having a relationship that lasted three days before she told me that this was a "miserable life to lead" and that I deserved a guy. Well, my ex-boyfriend/ ex-bestfriend knew that we were having trouble and was really worried about me so he called her up and found out that she had just broken up with me. Well, we ended up spending the entire day together because he wanted to make me feel better and he ended up kissing me. She called me a few minutes later to discuss if I really wanted a relationship and I told her out of guilt that he and I had kissed. Well, we've all been friends for a while now after that, but me and my lesbian bestfriend are having difficulty keeping our hands off each other when we're around each other, so we don't hang out. I think that she might be open to start things up again, but I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

What was "miserable life" line about, was it just her experience with being gay? Seems like you two are just trying to deny your feelings for each other for sole reason that it's a gay relationship and are doing a bad job of it. Maybe it's time to just give in to your feelings, don't let these excuses get in the way. If you want to be with her, tell her it'd be even more miserable to not see where this goes.

[Dkim]

but i have the fatness! cure me doc!

There are girls who can see further then the eyes does, a good personality counts more than your looks.:cwink:


But if you can't see your own foot when you look down then maybe you got yourself a problem...and you're in need of exercise :o

[Magneto29]

here is the plan guys; we all die alone. Deal?

I second that... unfortunately...

[Erzengel]

Ha. I was flipping through a playbill and saw the show Spiderville's show he's seeing tomorrow. So what are your plans?

[SpideyVille]

Ha. I was flipping through a playbill and saw the show Spiderville's show he's seeing tomorrow. So what are your plans?

Yea it's tomorrow, and sadly I still haven't made plans with her. I've barely had the chance to talk to her this week both in class or online. It's almost like she's disappeared, but not because of anything I've done or said.

I honestly don't know what to think. I feel like all hope is slowly but surely going away, and the more i try to fix it, the harder it gets.

[Erzengel]

Pull her aside before the show and ask her how she's getting home and work in getting something after the show. Or try calling her now and ask her if she wants to get something to eat before the show and ask her how she's getting home.

[SpideyVille]

I'm still hoping she finally gets online tonight, or that I can get a chance to talk to her tomorrow morning. I already know what I'm gonna ask, I just need to finally talk to her.

[amazingfantasy15]

Yea it's tomorrow, and sadly I still haven't made plans with her. I've barely had the chance to talk to her this week both in class or online. It's almost like she's disappeared, but not because of anything I've done or said.

I honestly don't know what to think. I feel like all hope is slowly but surely going away, and the more i try to fix it, the harder it gets.

Well, when's the last time you talked to her? What makes you say it's like she disappeared, has she been in class? Has she just not answered your calls, what type of fixing are you trying to do? What do you think you need to fix?

[Erzengel]

I'm still hoping she finally gets online tonight, or that I can get a chance to talk to her tomorrow morning. I already know what I'm gonna ask, I just need to finally talk to her.

C A L L H E R or text her and say hey can you give me a call?

[Superman79]

I'm still hoping she finally gets online tonight, or that I can get a chance to talk to her tomorrow morning. I already know what I'm gonna ask, I just need to finally talk to her.

Don't hope. Call. You DO have her home number. :o

[Superman79]

I honestly don't know what to think. I feel like all hope is slowly but surely going away, and the more i try to fix it, the harder it gets.

Stop with the negative talk or I will slap you. :dry:

There is always hope until she flat out tells you "no"

[Gilpesh]

Stop with the negative talk or I will slap you. :dry:

There is always hope until she flat out tells you "no"

And even then there's the good ole frat boy method...


What? Just saying...

[Superman79]

And even then there's the good ole frat boy method...


What? Just saying...

Dammit Gil! No illegal suggestions! :cmad:

[Gilpesh]

Dammit Gil! No illegal suggestions! :cmad:

What? :whatever:

Only joking.

[SpideyVille]

Well, when's the last time you talked to her? What makes you say it's like she disappeared, has she been in class? Has she just not answered your calls, what type of fixing are you trying to do? What do you think you need to fix?

The last time we chatted online was all night Sunday, then we talked a lot in class on Monday. But it wasn't really just the two of us then. When she got on the bus that day, she hugged me and said we'll talk again later on. But we haven't since then. She's been in class but it's like something is keeping us apart, and I just don't know what. But everytime I try to get close to her, it's like something just blocks me. I don't know, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm thinking too much again. But it just doesn't feel the same.

[Erzengel]

Hugging? This isn't GR87's thread. :down

If you are so worried about it, text her to call you?

[Superman79]

The last time we chatted online was all night Sunday, then we talked a lot in class on Monday. But it wasn't really just the two of us then. When she got on the bus that day, she hugged me and said we'll talk again later on. But we haven't since then. She's been in class but it's like something is keeping us apart, and I just don't know what. But everytime I try to get close to her, it's like something just blocks me. I don't know, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm thinking too much again. But it just doesn't feel the same.

Stop over thinking it!!

There is nothing in the way except your own damn doubts so CUT IT OUT :cmad:

As for the hugging, Erz is right...hugs are fine, but in the grand scheme of shows of affection, you need to up the ante.

[SpideyVille]

C A L L H E R or text her and say hey can you give me a call?
I already did. I texted her saying i hope she feels better cause I know she left class early today because she felt sick. She texted me back saying 'thanks', and that she hopes my day goes well and makes me smile. I texted her back saying i wasn't feeling good either and that we should have one of our usual talks.

Don't hope. Call. You DO have her home number. :o
She already told me she doesn't pick up her phone or use it much and that it's mostly just for emergencies.

[Gilpesh]

She already told me she doesn't pick up her phone or use it much and that it's mostly just for emergencies.

Text her saying to call you cause it is a sexual emergency.








Whatever you do, don't do that. :whatever:

[Erzengel]

Hmm....texting her telling her to call you sounds a little different than I hope she feels better. :huh:

[SpideyVille]

Hmm....texting her telling her to call you sounds a little different than I hope she feels better. :huh:
well it was a series of texts. First i started by saying i hope she feels better. Then later on I told her I want to talk to her.

[Superman79]

I already did. I texted her saying i hope she feels better cause I know she left class early today because she felt sick. She texted me back saying 'thanks', and that she hopes my day goes well and makes me smile. I texted her back saying i wasn't feeling good either and that we should have one of our usual talks.


She already told me she doesn't pick up her phone or use it much and that it's mostly just for emergencies.

I thought that was just her cell. I meant call her at home. Or text her to get on IM.

The important thing is that just just f-ing get through to her and get a date set up. You are your biggest obstacle here. Yes you don't wanna push too hard, but you also don't wanna just sit on your butt and wait for it to dawn on her that you are a great guy who really likes her. It won't happen without some effort.

[Erzengel]

well it was a series of texts. First i started by saying i hope she feels better. Then later on I told her I want to talk to her.

Well you should have told her to call you, regardless how did she respond?

[amazingfantasy15]

The last time we chatted online was all night Sunday, then we talked a lot in class on Monday. But it wasn't really just the two of us then. When she got on the bus that day, she hugged me and said we'll talk again later on. But we haven't since then. She's been in class but it's like something is keeping us apart, and I just don't know what. But everytime I try to get close to her, it's like something just blocks me. I don't know, maybe it's me. Maybe I'm thinking too much again. But it just doesn't feel the same.

Nothing's wrong man. You don't have to talk everyday. You basically didn't talk yesterday only, nothing wrong with that. She's not avoiding you is she? You're overthinking things again.

[SpideyVille]

I thought that was just her cell. I meant call her at home. Or text her to get on IM.

The important thing is that just just f-ing get through to her and get a date set up. You are your biggest obstacle here. Yes you don't wanna push too hard, but you also don't wanna just sit on your butt and wait for it to dawn on her that you are a great guy who really likes her. It won't happen without some effort.

Well that's what I was implying when I said I wanted to talk. Either to call me, or finally get on AIM so we can talk.

And she's already said I'm a really good guy and friend, but I'm not sure she knows just how much I really like her. And I don't know how to show her that without coming off as weird or something. I mean that's where things usually went south with all the other girls i've liked.

[SpideyVille]

Well you should have told her to call you, regardless how did she respond?
She hasn't yet and it's been an hour. I guess she's just not home yet, or is home and is sleeping or something.

The funny thing is she sincerely told me on several occasions that if I ever need help or want to talk, that I can just ask. So I know she wouldn't be trying to avoid me.

Nothing's wrong man. You don't have to talk everyday. You basically didn't talk yesterday only, nothing wrong with that. She's not avoiding you is she? You're overthinking things again.
I know nothing's wrong in the longrun, but in terms of setting something up for tomorrow, i'm running out of time. And I'm sure she's not avoiding me since she has no reason to. I guess I'm just over thinking things and losing my cool and patience.

[Superman79]

Well that's what I was implying when I said I wanted to talk. Either to call me, or finally get on AIM so we can talk.

And she's already said I'm a really good guy and friend, but I'm not sure she knows just how much I really like her. And I don't know how to show her that without coming off as weird or something. I mean that's where things usually went south with all the other girls i've liked.

Ok, Spidey, I love ya brother, but I am gonna slap you senseless here.

We've told you, to show DEFINITE interest you have to ASK HER OUT. Hence us telling you to call HER (not the other way around) and set up some dinner or whatnot before the show, or set up a date for Saturday night where you go bowling and have dinner or something!!

That is the surest way to show her you are definitely interested without making it weird. Stop fearing the chance at failure and start concentrating on your chances at success!

[Superman79]

I know nothing's wrong in the longrun, but in terms of setting something up for tomorrow, i'm running out of time. And I'm sure she's not avoiding me since she has no reason to. I guess I'm just over thinking things and losing my cool and patience.

We told you not to wait til the last minute. :o

You ARE overthinking. Get her asked out, don't push her into anything, but don't just slack off either. Its about going with your gut and the moment.

[Erzengel]

I think Spiderville was waiting for the perfect opportunity/situation to ask her. :huh:

Now he's trying to get her to call him now. You should have tried like Sunday or Monday.

[Superman79]

There is no such thing as a perfect situation...there are good and bad, but never perfect.

[amazingfantasy15]

Well that's what I was implying when I said I wanted to talk. Either to call me, or finally get on AIM so we can talk.

And she's already said I'm a really good guy and friend, but I'm not sure she knows just how much I really like her. And I don't know how to show her that without coming off as weird or something. I mean that's where things usually went south with all the other girls i've liked.

The window is closing very fast man, you're basically in the friend zone now. I think you still have time to get out, but that opportunity is fading fast.

[Erzengel]

There is no such thing as a perfect situation...there are good and bad, but never perfect.

There will be no running across a flowered field. :csad:

[Superman79]

There will be no running across a flowered field. :csad:

Nope. She might have allergies...

[SpideyVille]

I think Spiderville was waiting for the perfect opportunity/situation to ask her. :huh:

Now he's trying to get her to call him now. You should have tried like Sunday or Monday.
Yea, I was waiting for a good moment to throw the question in. I thought it was guaranteed that we would've talked sometime between now and the last time we spoke, but that just hasn't been the case. I was really feeling good about things and was more than ready to ask, but somehow things just didn't feel so smooth anymore. Idk, I guess I really am the one to blame. I should've just been more assertive and asked whether i felt it was a good time or not.

[SpideyVille]

The window is closing very fast man, you're basically in the friend zone now. I think you still have time to get out, but that opportunity is fading fast.
That's how I've been feeling lately. But I'm not sure how I can be more than just a friend if she's already said she's not sure if she's ready for more just yet.

[Superman79]

That's how I've been feeling lately. But I'm not sure how I can be more than just a friend if she's already said she's not sure if she's ready for more just yet.

You try and take her out before you irretrievably enter the friend zone.

[SpideyVille]

You try and take her out before you irretrievably enter the friend zone.
But how? I mean if she says she's not ready or not sure, how can I make her change her mind? I mean we could still go out but that doesn't necessarily mean she's gonna start having feelings for me.

[Erzengel]

Our point is this, if you tell her how you feel (i.e. asking her out), you are making a distinct declaration that you like her more than just friends, and regardless if she says no or even I'm not ready for that just yet, you have stated your intentions. Then at least you can stop pining for her, and put your energies into other things.

But, don't get ahead of yourself just yet, things could still work out but you have to make your intentions clear. Stop going for the "chit chat" and "hugs" and actually ask her out.

[SpideyVille]

Our point is this, if you tell her how you feel (i.e. asking her out), you are making a distinct declaration that you like her more than just friends, and regardless if she says no or even I'm not ready for that just yet, you have stated your intentions. Then at least you can stop pining for her, and put your energies into other things.

But, don't get ahead of yourself just yet, things could still work out but you have to make your intentions clear. Stop going for the "chit chat" and "hugs" and actually ask her out.
I thought I already declared that during the text fiasco when me/my brother said I hoped I could be more than just a friend.

[Erzengel]

You did? Must have forgotten you've done that, regardless, you've should of asked her out already.

[SpideyVille]

Yeah, that's how i found out about her "not being ready" for anything more yet.

Anyway, she just texted me back. She said we'll definitely talk, and that she hasn't been online in 2 days but she might on later tonight.

Hmm... If i was more experienced, clever and knew what I was doing, I'd make sure not to talk to her tonight and try to switch it into something to do with her tomorrow. But that's messing in an area that I'm just not ready for, so I'll just play it safe now.

[Superman79]

Our point is this, if you tell her how you feel (i.e. asking her out), you are making a distinct declaration that you like her more than just friends, and regardless if she says no or even I'm not ready for that just yet, you have stated your intentions. Then at least you can stop pining for her, and put your energies into other things.

But, don't get ahead of yourself just yet, things could still work out but you have to make your intentions clear. Stop going for the "chit chat" and "hugs" and actually ask her out.

EXACTLY!

I thought I already declared that during the text fiasco when me/my brother said I hoped I could be more than just a friend.

That does not count. Random texts are HORRIBLE for conveying real feeling or emotion behind the words. For all you know if you actually asked her out she might find she IS ready.

Yeah, that's how i found out about her "not being ready" for anything more yet.

Anyway, she just texted me back. She said we'll definitely talk, and that she hasn't been online in 2 days but she might on later tonight.

Hmm... If i was more experienced, clever and knew what I was doing, I'd make sure not to talk to her tonight and try to switch it into something to do with her tomorrow. But that's messing in an area that I'm just not ready for, so I'll just play it safe now.

Talk to her tonight and ask her out for tomorrow pre-show. THAT is what you do. Its the only real way to lay things out there and for her to know enough so she can examine her feelings for you.

[Erzengel]

Ha, it's not all textbook. Most knowledge comes in time. Most people who are experienced and clever, just have dated for a while and it's pretty much common sense.

It's never a linear answer either. Both men and women are far too unpredictable. I made a joke to my friend, "If I could explain women, I would write a book."

My point is you are allowed to make mistakes, sometimes we learn better from them than our successes.

Right now, all you can do is play the hand. If you talk to her tonight, ask her out. If you don't see her til the show tomorrow, pull her aside before it and ask her how she's getting home.

[Superman79]

^^ Good call

[Erzengel]

Now does she have a sister? Wait that's another lesson.

[SpideyVille]

Talk to her tonight and ask her out for tomorrow pre-show. THAT is what you do. Its the only real way to lay things out there and for her to know enough so she can examine her feelings for you.
Now THAT is a reall good idea. I just wonder if I can make it work, since I need time to change for the show, and even if I offer to pick her up and go to the show with her, I'm sure she'll be going with her friends instead. But it doesn't hurt to ask.

Ha, it's not all textbook. Most knowledge comes in time. Most people who are experienced and clever, just have dated for a while and it's pretty much common sense.

It's never a linear answer either. Both men and women are far too unpredictable. I made a joke to my friend, "If I could explain women, I would write a book."

My point is you are allowed to make mistakes, sometimes we learn better from them than our successes.

Right now, all you can do is play the hand. If you talk to her tonight, ask her out. If you don't see her til the show tomorrow, pull her aside before it and ask her how she's getting home.
Yea, sadly that is true. And no matter how this turns out, in time I'll come to appreciate it for the good and the bad.

But yea, I'll ask her tonight then. The only thing is I said i needed to talk to her about something, but I don't wanna make it seem like that was all.

Now does she have a sister? Wait that's another lesson.
LMAO. Actually she has 3. But two are like 10-12 yrs older than her, and one is a couple years younger.:oldrazz:

[Erzengel]

Well, you could bring up the whole, how are you getting home and somewhere try and get a future date or a date before the show. :up:

[Superman79]

But yea, I'll ask her tonight then. The only thing is I said i needed to talk to her about something, but I don't wanna make it seem like that was all.

You're over thinking. Stop. :dry:

[SpideyVille]

Well, you could bring up the whole, how are you getting home and somewhere try and get a future date or a date before the show. :up:
Ok, so let's say I ask how she's getting there and she says she has a ride or plans or something, do i immediately go asking for the alternative for after the show? Because i know i'm trying to get answers, but i dont want it to seem like im being to pesky looking for sometime to spend with her.
You're over thinking. Stop. :dry:
I can't help it. :csad:

[Angel_Faerie]

Hey guys. I haven't thought about him much all week, and it's felt nice. But something happened today that made me almost cry. I was walking down the hall, looking at the posters for the cantidates for Class Officers. A lot of them were pretty funny. I then noticed that the group of boys Colter normally associates himself with were heading my way. As they passed me, the same boy who told me that Colter wasn't at school that one day looked behind him and teasingly said "Run, Colter!" I looked where he was looking and I saw a shadow going up the stairs. I'm assuming it was him. It's like he's avoiding me or something. I'm oficially through even caring if we get together, but being avoided by ANYONE hurts my feeings.

[Erzengel]

Ok, so let's say I ask how she's getting there and she says she has a ride or plans or something, do i immediately go asking for the alternative for after the show? Because i know i'm trying to get answers, but i dont want it to seem like im being to pesky looking for sometime to spend with her.

I can't help it. :csad:
If it were me?

If she said she has a ride or plans, I'd say, I don't want to wait til after spring break to see you, let me take you to "insert place here". I wish you would do that in person and I'm not crazy about saying it "online".

[Erzengel]

Hey guys. I haven't thought about him much all week, and it's felt nice. But something happened today that made me almost cry. I was walking down the hall, looking at the posters for the cantidates for Class Officers. A lot of them were pretty funny. I then noticed that the group of boys Colter normally associates himself with were heading my way. As they passed me, the same boy who told me that Colter wasn't at school that one day looked behind him and teasingly said "Run, Colter!" I looked where he was looking and I saw a shadow going up the stairs. I'm assuming it was him. It's like he's avoiding me or something. I'm oficially through even caring if we get together, but being avoided by ANYONE hurts my feeings.
Those guys were being jerks. Welcome to high school. :csad: At least now you can move on.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

Hey guys. I haven't thought about him much all week, and it's felt nice. But something happened today that made me almost cry. I was walking down the hall, looking at the posters for the cantidates for Class Officers. A lot of them were pretty funny. I then noticed that the group of boys Colter normally associates himself with were heading my way. As they passed me, the same boy who told me that Colter wasn't at school that one day looked behind him and teasingly said "Run, Colter!" I looked where he was looking and I saw a shadow going up the stairs. I'm assuming it was him. It's like he's avoiding me or something. I'm oficially through even caring if we get together, but being avoided by ANYONE hurts my feeings.

aww that is bs i'm sorry to hear that! just know that any guy who may be avoiding you is definitely not worth your time then. there is a whole issue on respect and even if he is let's just say "annoyed" avoiding someone is very childish in this aspect. try not to let it get to you. you can and will find someone worth it!

[SpideyVille]

*facepalm*

She feel asleep right when I was setting her up to ask her how she's getting to the show.

[Gilpesh]

*facepalm*

She feel asleep right when I was setting her up to ask her how she's getting to the show.

That's girl for "ASK THE DAMN QUESTION ALREADY!"

[Cunning Stunts]

*facepalm*

She feel asleep right when I was setting her up to ask her how she's getting to the show.

Just do it, dude. You got it:up:.

Eff all the obstacles. They're nothin' if you got the confidence to just take over.

[Superman79]

*facepalm*

She feel asleep right when I was setting her up to ask her how she's getting to the show.

Setting her up?!?!?!

Dude..."So, I was just curious, how are you getting to the show tomorrow?" should have been the first f**king question out of your mouth/off your keyboard!!! C'mon man, you're killing me here. You come so close but can never pull the trigger, I was hoping you'd learn from those mistakes and take immediate action instead of waiting to "set her up". Yeah, normally you wanna set the table for an ask out, but here starting the conversation with the question would have been fine and accomplished exactly what you wanted.

You are clearly your own biggest obstacle to success here. We need to get you past that.

[Erzengel]

You're not English are you?

Well, I was just wondering, if it was possible, about the show tommorrow, what I'm getting at is, have you decided, on your thought process....


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


:huh:

[SpideyVille]

Well I didn't want that to be the first thing we spoke about. I wanted it to come up as though it was part of the convo. I was beginning to tell her how i didn't know how i was going to get to the show, so i was gonna ask how was she getting there, that way maybe we could meet up and do something before hand. But she must've fell asleep. And now she didn't show up in class today, so i really won't see her until the show.

[Erzengel]

Dude, I just read half of what you said and gave up.

What did I tell you.

Best not to say 10 words when 5 will do.

[SpideyVille]

Argh, i know i know. But I'm still trying to learn.

But she randomly texted me just now asking where i was. I told her I just came home for a minute, but now I think I'm gonna head back to class. Maybe she's already there at school waiting or something, which seems a bit odd.

[Superman79]

You're not English are you?

Well, I was just wondering, if it was possible, about the show tommorrow, what I'm getting at is, have you decided, on your thought process....


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ


:huh:

I was trying to soften it for him as he seems scared to death to just ask a straight forward question. :o

[Superman79]

Well I didn't want that to be the first thing we spoke about. I wanted it to come up as though it was part of the convo. I was beginning to tell her how i didn't know how i was going to get to the show, so i was gonna ask how was she getting there, that way maybe we could meet up and do something before hand. But she must've fell asleep. And now she didn't show up in class today, so i really won't see her until the show.

Don't care. :o

You have lost the luxury of pussy-footing around, you need to be pointed, you need to be decisive, and you need to just ask.

Dammit Spidey, I really wanna see you succeed, but you keep tripping yourself, you need to sack up buddy, and take the plunge.

Argh, i know i know. But I'm still trying to learn.

But she randomly texted me just now asking where i was. I told her I just came home for a minute, but now I think I'm gonna head back to class. Maybe she's already there at school waiting or something, which seems a bit odd.

First thing you do, though it may be too late now. ASK HER ABOUT THE SHOW and ASK HER ON A DAMN DATE!!

oh, and don't overthink it!!! :o

:up:

[amazingfantasy15]

Here you go Spidey this is where you're at now;
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bDkhYP-H0dI&feature=related

[amazingfantasy15]

Spidey, I really think you need to enlist the help of her friends. From your posts they seem to like you, ask them how she feels about you, tips on ways to advance things, they'll probably be able to help you more than us.

[Superman79]

Spidey, I really think you need to enlist the help of her friends. From your posts they seem to like you, ask them how she feels about you, tips on ways to advance things, they'll probably be able to help you more than us.

That and they would be inclined to sort of inform her of your intentions, which is a sort of "end around" to revealing how you feel as friends talk. (Now you still have to ask her out and make your intentions clear yourself, as just allowing her friends to do it is for pansy's) but having the girls on your side and putting in a good word for you as I've said before can make all the difference in the world.

[SpideyVille]

First thing you do, though it may be too late now. ASK HER ABOUT THE SHOW and ASK HER ON A DAMN DATE!!

oh, and don't overthink it!!! :o

:up:
Okay, Okay. I met up with her at the school. She was hanging with all the other ppl from my class (the same ones i was with before i came home). Her friends weren't with her since they were out getting ready for the show tonight. She said she wasn't into shopping n getting pedicures n stuff, and that she woke up late and had a quiz in her next class, so that's why she came late.

But I took this opportunity alone to ask her about tonight. She said she was going with her friends, but they weren't sure how they were gonna get there, whether by car or train or w/e. I offered to meet her at her house, but she said they were still unsure so it wouldn't make sense for me to go and then find out there wasn't space for me if they decided to drive or something (since the other girls are bringing ppl). Then I asked what about afterwards, and she said one of her friends wants to see a movie, but they're still not sure yet. Basically they don't know what the hell they're gonna do tonight.

We got to her class and since she said she was waiting for her friends to pick her up after class so they could get ready together, I told her that in case they're late, we should hang out until they come. Luckily that was the case since she was waiting for about 20 minutes and finally texted me to see if i had got out of class yet, since her class ended earlier than mine. I walked her to the bus stop but she wasn't sure whether to get on on not since her frineds were supposed to pick her up somewhere. So we stood there waiting for about an hour until they finally came. During this time I told her that since they're so undecided about they're plans, that maybe i should come along afterwards and either all of us do something together, or just me and her if they decide to leave or something. She said that's alright.

So I may not have a "date" with her, but I'll still be around with her after the show. If anything, i'll accompany her home if they don't drive to the show.

Here you go Spidey this is where you're at now;
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bDkhYP-H0dI&feature=related
:wow: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Spidey, I really think you need to enlist the help of her friends. From your posts they seem to like you, ask them how she feels about you, tips on ways to advance things, they'll probably be able to help you more than us.

That and they would be inclined to sort of inform her of your intentions, which is a sort of "end around" to revealing how you feel as friends talk. (Now you still have to ask her out and make your intentions clear yourself, as just allowing her friends to do it is for pansy's) but having the girls on your side and putting in a good word for you as I've said before can make all the difference in the world.
I have really been wanting to do that, but I've learned the hard way before that some friends choose not to be helpful, or they'll crush you before the girl gives you a chance. Although, with her other friend, I remember hearing the third friend try to convince her to talk to a guy, and 2 weeks later they're talking on the phone all day n night. So I guess it's worth a shot, though I know there's one i'd have an easier time to work on, but just to get any one of them alone is a struggle.

[Erzengel]

Or you could be sitting there with your hands in your pockets if she does have a ride and leaves with her friends after the show.

[amazingfantasy15]

:wow: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Well, you seem to be getting kinda wishy washy, plus her just getting out of the relationship doesn't help. It's a little tough to get a read on though because you do seem close and she does seem to like you. I think you're gonna need help to move this relationship to the next level and not from anonymous people on a message board. Talk to her friends, let them know how you feel about her, their reactions might give you some insight.

[DV8]

fk this, Spidey . . . you need to have your own plans after the show . . . AWESOME plans . . . you can't wait around, dude . . .

I'm not saying completely blow her off or anything, but it's obvious that now since this wasn't planned as a date, she's got plans w/ her friends . . .

so basically you need to new gameplan for the first date; make it a good one; abort this mission though . . .

[SpideyVille]

Well since she said she wasn't sure what they were going to do, there's a chance that they'll all make some plan that she doesn't want to be apart of, and that way me and her could do our own thing. But hey, maybe that's wishful thinking.

And still, I wanna see if she's free tomorrow, because that's the closest day that we're both gonna free this weekend.

Anyway, it's almost time for me to leave for the show. Wish me luck! :O

[Superman79]

During this time I told her that since they're so undecided about they're plans, that maybe i should come along afterwards and either all of us do something together, or just me and her if they decide to leave or something. She said that's alright.

So I may not have a "date" with her, but I'll still be around with her after the show. If anything, i'll accompany her home if they don't drive to the show.


Wow man, just wow. I can't even type an answer to that right now...I'm just...wow. :dry:

[DV8]

Well since she said she wasn't sure what they were going to do, there's a chance that they'll all make some plan that she doesn't want to be apart of, and that way me and her could do our own thing. But hey, maybe that's wishful thinking.

And still, I wanna see if she's free tomorrow, because that's the closest day that we're both gonna free this weekend.

Anyway, it's almost time for me to leave for the show. Wish me luck! :O

yeah, that's a good point; anyway the non-date-date is pressure-free too!! yeah, all I'm saying is have some kind of back up plan; don't you anyone you can hang out w/ afterwards if she's mixed up w/ her friends?? and basically, at this point it's too late to turn this into a real date

also, be careful about hanging out w/ her friends too much at this point, because then you may become just another friend as well . . .

[Superman79]

Well since she said she wasn't sure what they were going to do, there's a chance that they'll all make some plan that she doesn't want to be apart of, and that way me and her could do our own thing. But hey, maybe that's wishful thinking.

"Destiny is not a matter of CHANCE it's a matter of CHOICE."--William Jennings Bryan


Dude, you sit around and wait and wait for chance to kick in and you are setting yourself up for failure. You have to make a CHOICE that you are going to sack up, stop being so damn wishy-washy and ASK HER THE F**K OUT.

Seriously man, you had a shot to ask her out for the weekend or even possibly get her to change her post-show plans and here you are pensively inviting yourself along on their thing!!! I...I...I can't type anymore right now...

[amazingfantasy15]

Wow man, just wow. I can't even type an answer to that right now...I'm just...wow. :dry:

Yeah, it looked like we'd finally have a success in Spideyville, but it's quickly becoming another failure.

[DV8]

maybe we just give terrible advice :(













naaaaaaaaah!

[omid17]

Ask her out, if she's says no, than it was never meant to be, but if she says yes than a least you know that she has feelings for you too, simple as that

[DoomRulz]

I'm setting up a coffee date for tomorrow. Wish me luck folks!

[Erzengel]

Remember talk to her chest. Girls like that. :up:

[Erzengel]

I have failed you Spiderville. I have failed you.

:csad:

http://www.starwars-tw.com/theme/AnakinvsObi/AnakinvsObi-12.jpg

[DV8]

:lmao: ^^

[DoomRulz]

Remember talk to her chest. Girls like that. :up:

Thanks...I guess :oldrazz:

[Mac_Hine]

maybe we just give terrible advice :(













naaaaaaaaah!
I know, you guys gave him good advice. I pretty much agreed with everything except he didn't have the basketballs to pull it off. He's just got to execute.

[Mac_Hine]

I'm setting up a coffee date for tomorrow. Wish me luck folks!
Good luck! I would of set up a get together with this girl I met last weekend also but for some reason (a little drunk :woot:) I didn't save her number when she gave it to me. Oh well, I'll just go out this weekend and try to meet another girl.

[SpideyVille]

Well, if things go bad, then it is obviously my fault. You guys have given me more than great advice, I just haven't been executing properly.

But things really seemed to work out tonight. I got there really early and she got there just in time with her friends and their dates. And even though our tickets were completely far apart, she still sat next to me. It was like I was her date for the whole night.After the show, we all went to Olive Garden for a while, then walked around Times Square for a while, then finally got on the train home. But since they were all gonna stay over at one of the friends houses, I had to go my own way halfway thru the train ride home.

There were good moments, and bad moments. I was definitely a gentleman. I pulled out her chair before she sat, I gave her my jacket when it was chilly outside, and I paid for her dinner. But the bad is what I'm really pining over. I had a good chance to put my arm around her shoulder throughout the show, but I didn't know if it was right (and now i realize that shouldn't have mattered, i should've still did it). Then I also failed to ask her in person what she's doing this weekend. *facepalm* . It's like the goodbye went so fast n I wasnt thinking clearly that I completely forgot to ask. :csad: But i texted her as soon as my phone had service again, now I'm just waiting for an answer.

But from the sounds of it, her friends and their dates are already talking about a "next time" when we go out. Oh, and I talked to a friend of her, since she's also trying to set up her other friend. This guy started around the same time as me, and things are now only starting to get serious between them, though there still isn't any holding hands or kissing yet. But her friend told him that he's pretty much in the door. She told me she wasn't really sure about me, but that it's more like I have a hand in the doorway. So maybe there's still a chance.

One interesting fact I found out though, that I didn't show bother me was that she showed us the spot where her ex proposed to her in Times Square, just a few months ago. I knew they were together long, but I didn't know it was THAT serious. But she's told me before that she's happy she broke up with him, so I guess that really shouldn't bother me. It just means I have to be really patient with her.

[Gilpesh]

One interesting fact I found out though, that I didn't show bother me was that she showed us the spot where her ex proposed to her in Times Square, just a few months ago. I knew they were together long, but I didn't know it was THAT serious. But she's told me before that she's happy she broke up with him, so I guess that really shouldn't bother me. It just means I have to be really patient with her.

Oh, and I talked to a friend of her, since she's also trying to set up her other friend. This guy started around the same time as me, and things are now only starting to get serious between them, though there still isn't any holding hands or kissing yet. But her friend told him that he's pretty much in the door. She told me she wasn't really sure about me, but that it's more like I have a hand in the doorway. So maybe there's still a chance.

Um.... what about him being in the door and you just barely holding it open... gives you the idea to be patient with this girl?

[omid17]

Well, if things go bad, then it is obviously my fault. You guys have given me more than great advice, I just haven't been executing properly.

But things really seemed to work out tonight. I got there really early and she got there just in time with her friends and their dates. And even though our tickets were completely far apart, she still sat next to me. It was like I was her date for the whole night.After the show, we all went to Olive Garden for a while, then walked around Times Square for a while, then finally got on the train home. But since they were all gonna stay over at one of the friends houses, I had to go my own way halfway thru the train ride home.

There were good moments, and bad moments. I was definitely a gentleman. I pulled out her chair before she sat, I gave her my jacket when it was chilly outside, and I paid for her dinner. But the bad is what I'm really pining over. I had a good chance to put my arm around her shoulder throughout the show, but I didn't know if it was right (and now i realize that shouldn't have mattered, i should've still did it). Then I also failed to ask her in person what she's doing this weekend. *facepalm* . It's like the goodbye went so fast n I wasnt thinking clearly that I completely forgot to ask. :csad: But i texted her as soon as my phone had service again, now I'm just waiting for an answer.

But from the sounds of it, her friends and their dates are already talking about a "next time" when we go out. Oh, and I talked to a friend of her, since she's also trying to set up her other friend. This guy started around the same time as me, and things are now only starting to get serious between them, though there still isn't any holding hands or kissing yet. But her friend told him that he's pretty much in the door. She told me she wasn't really sure about me, but that it's more like I have a hand in the doorway. So maybe there's still a chance.

One interesting fact I found out though, that I didn't show bother me was that she showed us the spot where her ex proposed to her in Times Square, just a few months ago. I knew they were together long, but I didn't know it was THAT serious. But she's told me before that she's happy she broke up with him, so I guess that really shouldn't bother me. It just means I have to be really patient with her.Not bad, but like you said be patient with, don't text her too much, and don't worry about what her friends think or say, just be patient and things will start to get better

[Harlekin]

PAID for her dinner? Why? You weren't on a date. That's not being a gentleman, that's being an idiot.

[SpideyVille]

Um.... what about him being in the door and you just barely holding it open... gives you the idea to be patient with this girl?
Well that just means that her friend is finally opening up to him, which is weird because she too just got out of a relationship, except she still has feelings for the guy she broke up with and she sill talks to him.

But with my girl, it's like what she told me last week, she needs time to think about whether or not she's ready for more just yet. So all I can do for now is be patient and make sure I'm there for her when she finally comes around.

PAID for her dinner? Why? You weren't on a date. That's not being a gentleman, that's being an idiot.
Very true. But it wouldn't seem right since the other guys paid too. And I'll let it go since it wasn't all that much. Besides, it's one of those things that can leave a good impression on her.

[Erzengel]

Well, if things go bad, then it is obviously my fault. You guys have given me more than great advice, I just haven't been executing properly.

But things really seemed to work out tonight. I got there really early and she got there just in time with her friends and their dates. And even though our tickets were completely far apart, she still sat next to me. It was like I was her date for the whole night.After the show, we all went to Olive Garden for a while, then walked around Times Square for a while, then finally got on the train home. But since they were all gonna stay over at one of the friends houses, I had to go my own way halfway thru the train ride home.

There were good moments, and bad moments. I was definitely a gentleman. I pulled out her chair before she sat, I gave her my jacket when it was chilly outside, and I paid for her dinner. But the bad is what I'm really pining over. I had a good chance to put my arm around her shoulder throughout the show, but I didn't know if it was right (and now i realize that shouldn't have mattered, i should've still did it). Then I also failed to ask her in person what she's doing this weekend. *facepalm* . It's like the goodbye went so fast n I wasnt thinking clearly that I completely forgot to ask. :csad: But i texted her as soon as my phone had service again, now I'm just waiting for an answer.

Eh, I don't see anything wrong with paying for her dinner. It's the Olive Garden anyway, not exactly the View at the Marriott. But I wouldn't be kicking myself for not putting your arm around her shoulder, you gave her your jacket among other things. The thing you should be be kicking yourself for is not asking her out.


But from the sounds of it, her friends and their dates are already talking about a "next time" when we go out. Oh, and I talked to a friend of her, since she's also trying to set up her other friend. This guy started around the same time as me, and things are now only starting to get serious between them, though there still isn't any holding hands or kissing yet. But her friend told him that he's pretty much in the door. She told me she wasn't really sure about me, but that it's more like I have a hand in the doorway. So maybe there's still a chance.

Wait, explain this to me. So is there another guy who's into the girl you like as well? :huh:

[SpideyVille]

Eh, I don't see anything wrong with paying for her dinner. It's the Olive Garden anyway, not exactly the View at the Marriott. But I wouldn't be kicking myself for not putting your arm around her shoulder, you gave her your jacket among other things. The thing you should be be kicking yourself for is not asking her out.Yea, that was my biggest mistake. Idk, I must've really gotten nervous in front of all her friends and their dates or I was really tired or something, but I really dropped the ball there.

Wait, explain this to me. So is there another guy who's into the girl you like as well? :huh:
No, no, no. She has two friends, and one of them is trying to hook the other one up with a guy she knew from high school. So when my girl and his girl went to the bathroom for a moment, the third friend was there with us and we were trying to squeeze out some info and where we stand with them.

[Erzengel]

Ah. Well okay then.

I wouldn't worry about the arm thing, unless she was giving you multiple signals I would have kept the arm off.

But still, again you should have asked her out and unless you talk to her sometime, you won't see her until after Spring Break?

[SpideyVille]

Yea, I just don't know where my mind was last night. I texted her when I go home, but that was pretty late, so I hope she sees it when she wakes up. And today's really the best day to do something since I'm gonna be busy most of tomorrow and we'll both be busy Sunday. So once again it's either today or wait til Monday.

[Erzengel]

Well I hope you hear from her today but if I were you, I'd get "unbusy" if I had to.

[SpideyVille]

Thanks, I hope I hear from her soon. And yea, my teacher pretty much is making me go to Comic Con this Saturday, but if I had to I'd leave there early and make plans with her to meet up in the city. But Sunday is her church day so that's pretty much out of the question.

[Erzengel]

How long is church? Is it the whole day? :huh:

[SpideyVille]

She goes a little late in the afternoon and it's an hour trip going and coming for her, and I made a promise to my mom that I'd start going in the morning with her. But i see what you're saying. No school on Monday, so Sunday night should be free time to do something.

[Superman79]

Yea, I just don't know where my mind was last night. I texted her when I go home, but that was pretty late, so I hope she sees it when she wakes up. And today's really the best day to do something since I'm gonna be busy most of tomorrow and we'll both be busy Sunday. So once again it's either today or wait til Monday.

I agree with Erz...if she can do something Saturday or Sunday get un-busy REAL fast. If you choose to keep waiting, you'll be waiting til you're 40, and some guy who's more decisive will have swooped in and stolen your gal.

As for not asking her out, this makes what? the 3rd or 4th time you've had a shot to ask for a date and you still haven't. It may be time to start writing things on your hand so you remember...

I am glad to hear the evening went well despite the horrible lead up to it. But seriously Spidey, you've gotta focus here...if you really like this girl that much then asking her out should be the FIRST thing on your mind, its something you shouldn't 'forget' to do.

[Erzengel]

Grabbing her by the arm and saying "Listen, I don't want to wait the entire Spring Break before I can see you again. Let's go out on _______ and do _______."

And time. That's what under a minute?

There aren't windows of opportunity and no perfect time. Hoping that her friends walk what 10 feet ahead of her?

You said the other day you waited for her at the bus stop for like an hour?

You really have to get over this "perfect scenario" you seem so bent on.

You need to just ask her instead of waiting around for light to shine on her, and time to stand still.

[amazingfantasy15]

One interesting fact I found out though, that I didn't show bother me was that she showed us the spot where her ex proposed to her in Times Square, just a few months ago. I knew they were together long, but I didn't know it was THAT serious. But she's told me before that she's happy she broke up with him, so I guess that really shouldn't bother me. It just means I have to be really patient with her.

OUCH! That's a big moutain to overcome an ended engagement. I tried going out with a girl after that a few months ago (didn't know about the engagement before we went out) and things didn't work out. That's a huge hurdle to overcome. It does seem like she likes you, you just had the misfortune of starting something so soon after her last relationship ended. The biggest problem is you could just be a placeholder right now, that guy friend she needs while she gets her head on straight and then finds someone else and that's gonna really hurt. You've gotta suck it up ask her out on a real date and tell her how you feel, in person, not over text or IM. You need to make your intentions clear and know where you stand, trust me it'll hurt ten times more if you wait and she finds someone else then finding out she's just not interested in you that way now.

[amazingfantasy15]

I have failed you Spiderville. I have failed you.

:csad:

http://www.starwars-tw.com/theme/AnakinvsObi/AnakinvsObi-12.jpg

He was the chosen one! The one to finally succeed through our advice!

[DV8]

yeah, for real spidey . . . you got your hand on the door now, but you're taking too long to ask this girl out; pretty soon the door will slam shut w/ your hand in it . . . ****, who cares even if it's a little awkward?? Like Erz said, the perfect time isn't gonna come; so stop beating around the bush; send a goddam text message right now asking her out!! Just do it already!!!

[DV8]

p.s., good job last night . . . but you still have a ways to go . . . ;)

[Erzengel]

I dislike the whole "text messaging" asking out. Especially for a first date. I mean if he has to, he has to and seeing as they are on spring break, unless she calls him, or vice versa it's either going to be over text or IM.

*outoftouch*

[DV8]

I dislike the whole "text messaging" asking out. Especially for a first date. I mean if he has to, he has to and seeing as they are on spring break, unless she calls him, or vice versa it's either going to be over text or IM.

*outoftouch*

yeah, but it's do or die time here . . . we can see what happened the last few times he waited until he saw her in person . . . he kinda choked :( plus especially since Spidey hasn't fully honed his 'player skills', texting or IM is pry better for him being a bit more introverted right now . . .

[SpideyVille]

I agree with Erz...if she can do something Saturday or Sunday get un-busy REAL fast. If you choose to keep waiting, you'll be waiting til you're 40, and some guy who's more decisive will have swooped in and stolen your gal.

As for not asking her out, this makes what? the 3rd or 4th time you've had a shot to ask for a date and you still haven't. It may be time to start writing things on your hand so you remember...

I am glad to hear the evening went well despite the horrible lead up to it. But seriously Spidey, you've gotta focus here...if you really like this girl that much then asking her out should be the FIRST thing on your mind, its something you shouldn't 'forget' to do.
It's just sometimes things feel so good the way they are, that I don't wanna do something that might change that. But then again, I guess I won't get anywhere if I don't take a risk.

Grabbing her by the arm and saying "Listen, I don't want to wait the entire Spring Break before I can see you again. Let's go out on _______ and do _______."

And time. That's what under a minute?

There aren't windows of opportunity and no perfect time. Hoping that her friends walk what 10 feet ahead of her?

You said the other day you waited for her at the bus stop for like an hour?

You really have to get over this "perfect scenario" you seem so bent on.

You need to just ask her instead of waiting around for light to shine on her, and time to stand still.
Damn, her friends actually were walking ahead of us for most of the time. *facepalm*

He was the chosen one! The one to finally succeed through our advice!:csad:
I won't fail you guys.

yeah, for real spidey . . . you got your hand on the door now, but you're taking too long to ask this girl out; pretty soon the door will slam shut w/ your hand in it . . . ****, who cares even if it's a little awkward?? Like Erz said, the perfect time isn't gonna come; so stop beating around the bush; send a goddam text message right now asking her out!! Just do it already!!!
Yea, I texted her again a short while ago asking what she's doing, but still no reply. Idk, something must be up, because normally she'd reply by now.

p.s., good job last night . . . but you still have a ways to go . . . ;)
Thanks ... and yea, it's like I'm still at bat. I haven't struck out, but I've been fouling off a lot of good pitches.

I dislike the whole "text messaging" asking out. Especially for a first date. I mean if he has to, he has to and seeing as they are on spring break, unless she calls him, or vice versa it's either going to be over text or IM.

*outoftouch*
Well she actually told me yesterday that her phone only has like 3 dollars left on it, so the only way to reach her is by text so that her minutes dont run out faster.

[Superman79]

Introversion or not he's gotta make a move, and in light of previous wishy-washy behavior, it makes the strongest impression if he asks her in person, or at least over the phone as opposed to text.

[SpideyVille]

yeah, but it's do or die time here . . . we can see what happened the last few times he waited until he saw her in person . . . he kinda choked :( plus especially since Spidey hasn't fully honed his 'player skills', texting or IM is pry better for him being a bit more introverted right now . . .
Yea, I have been choking a lot lately in person ... n now it's really getting bad because she's barely been online since she's been spending a lot of time over at her friend's house having sleepovers n stuff. So texting is my last resort now.

[Superman79]

It's just sometimes things feel so good the way they are, that I don't wanna do something that might change that. But then again, I guess I won't get anywhere if I don't take a risk.

I'm glad things feel good as they are, but guess what? You don't make a move and things are gonna STAY as they are, which is essentially friends. SO you can choose to keep waiting and be "feel good" friends, or you can take a chance and advance this thing, but you keep reveling "its ok now" its gonna stay just "ok" forever. Trust me on that one, I've been there.

[SpideyVille]

You're absolutely right. Things may be ok now, but they can also be great. And that won't happen with the way I'm going about this now.

[Superman79]

damn straight

[amazingfantasy15]

Yea, I texted her again a short while ago asking what she's doing, but still no reply. Idk, something must be up, because normally she'd reply by now.

Yea, I have been choking a lot lately in person ... n now it's really getting bad because she's barely been online since she's been spending a lot of time over at her friend's house having sleepovers n stuff. So texting is my last resort now.

You're too concerned with how long it takes for her to reply or why she's not online. She, like you, has her own life and may just be busy today with any number of things. She'll get back to you because if nothing else your friends now that like to talk to each other, relax. However, this always seems to be why you're choking, you're only comfortable if things go your way, if they don't you choke, gotta learn to improvise and roll with the punches, things won't go exactly as planned. Next time you talk to her IM or on the phone (don't do it via text, not a good idea, in my mind) ask her out, don't wait for the perfect opportunity in the conversation, just change the subject and ask, abruptly if you have to. It feels like you close and you can close this deal, you just need to take that next step. If she didn't like you, she wouldn't have taken your jacket last night, let you pay for dinner, she probably would've thought up a way to blow you off. You're not showing enough confidence/interest and that's what's probably turning her somewhat off.

[Erzengel]

Speaking of other projects, we haven't heard from Ghostvirus in a while. :huh:

[amazingfantasy15]

Probably doesn't have any prospects with pharmacy girl is off the market.

[Dkim]

My guy friend who liked me which I mentioned a couple pages back now has a heart problem, am freakin scared for him :csad:



But anyway I got kind of a problem or actually don't know if it is a problem. So there's a guy I know, he sat last year in the same class as me. And I got the feeling that he likes me. You know sometimes you just have a feeling it isnt always true but yeah I dont know:oldrazz: Well, it started when I was with one of my girls and she was letting me listen to a song that she realy liked and the guy and a friend were close by talking. So I was listining to the song when my friend looks at them and she start pointing at me, so I said why your pointing and she said o nothing and then I looked at the guy and he quickly looked away. And now there all kinds of signs but if he liked me he would just come up to me by now dont you think?,maybe I'm just imaging it. But I could go up to him but if it isnt true then im realy embarrassed and if it is true I dont know what I will do cause I dont know how I feel about him he's kind of cute though but he's kind of a show off to. Or ofcoure I could wait it out. So have you all got some advice for me? :o

[DV8]

I'm glad things feel good as they are, but guess what? You don't make a move and things are gonna STAY as they are, which is essentially friends. SO you can choose to keep waiting and be "feel good" friends, or you can take a chance and advance this thing, but you keep reveling "its ok now" its gonna stay just "ok" forever. Trust me on that one, I've been there.

haha, that's EXACTLY what I was gonna say ;)

yeah, if you like how it feels now you're on your way to staying there, but if you want to move things further, now's the time and those 'things' feel MUCH better . . .

[Erzengel]

Eh, a lot of guys are shy, and nervous. He probably can't muster up the courage to talk to you. :huh:

[amazingfantasy15]

Eh, a lot of guys are shy, and nervous. He probably can't muster up the courage to talk to you. :huh:

Yup, that's probably what's happening, as much as a show off he is, he might still be nervous asking you out.

[DV8]

Speaking of other projects, we haven't heard from Ghostvirus in a while. :huh:

he retired his dick :~(

[omid17]

Grabbing her by the arm and saying "Listen, I don't want to wait the entire Spring Break before I can see you again. Let's go out on _______ and do _______."

And time. That's what under a minute?

There aren't windows of opportunity and no perfect time. Hoping that her friends walk what 10 feet ahead of her?

You said the other day you waited for her at the bus stop for like an hour?

You really have to get over this "perfect scenario" you seem so bent on.

You need to just ask her instead of waiting around for light to shine on her, and time to stand still.:up:

[SpideyVille]

OUCH!!!

ok, maybe I'm reading into this too much, but like one of her friends took pictures of all of us last night, and there were at least 3 of me and the girl. So I just checked facebook and saw that the pics were just put up. First off, there's only one pic of me and the girl, which was like the worst one of the night. Second, the caption reads " *girl's name* and her friend *my name* "

It's weird because there's more pics of her other friend with the guy she's being hooked up and captions of how they're a couple, which would be a new thing for them.

Now my question is, is this a bigger deal than I'm making it out to be? Is it possible that I've fallen into the friend zone and this is proof that I'll be nothing more. Or is it a wake-up call saying that I'm just a friend now and need to do more? After all, this is her friend speaking, who knows I like her. But then again, she did stay over at her house last night and it's more than likely that the pics were discussed beforehand and that could be the reason for leaving out the better ones.

[Blacklight]

I've never been in a relationship before (or a date for that matter), but is it okay to ask questions about this girl I have feelings for? Or is there another thread for non-relationships like this?

[SpideyVille]

Ask away.

[Blacklight]

Well there's this girl who's really beautiful and a breath of fresh air that I've known for like three years, but we weren't really friends, but we were acquaintances, until like six months ago when I started working at Burger King. I started working there and she's been working there for about a year. We saw each other, and then as it was, she was best friends with my sister (who at the time was the manager), so naturally, we became really good friends. But she has a boyfriend, a douchebag nonetheless, and so for the past few months I've developed feelings for her, hoping she'll break up with him or vice versa so that I can ask her out.

But alas, that's when reality hits me like a semi.

Seeing what her boyfriend is like, and her ex, I've realised that their both major league a******s, and that they've also got something I don't: Experience (if you get what I'm saying).

I ask all my friends at BK and my sister if I even stand a chance, and for the most part, they've all said no because I'm a virgin and have never had a relationship before (not to mention they don't think she'll go for the 'comic nerd' thing).

So the question is, what should I do? Tell her how I feel? Wait until she's single and take a risk? Or just move on (which is very hard to do, because at school, they have me in an isolated room all day with very few girls, all of which are taken, and are like sisters to me since I've known them for so long, and I'm very timid anyways and am really afraid of rejection)?

[SpideyVille]

First off, in terms of my situation, i'm calling it quits. Yes, this girl was definitely more than worth it, but honestly, things just aren't as good as they sound. I just had a code-driven convo with her, and she made it clear many times that maybe I had expected too much from her, and that there were signs that she wasn't interested in the way that I had hoped for, but I just refused to listen.

I'm sorry guys. You guys did nothing wrong. This just failed because a bad course of luck and timing. Whether I had the balls or not to ask her out wouldn't have made any difference, since I was immediately placed in the friend zone right from the beginning. She's just not ready for anything now, and she said she doesn't want me to expect that she will be any time soon.

Once again, I'm sorry guys. If things were just a little different, I'm sure all of your advice would've worked perfectly. This was all just something built on false hope.

But really, thanks for all the help. I truly appreciate it.
Well there's this girl who's really beautiful and a breath of fresh air that I've known for like three years, but we weren't really friends, but we were acquaintances, until like six months ago when I started working at Burger King. I started working there and she's been working there for about a year. We saw each other, and then as it was, she was best friends with my sister (who at the time was the manager), so naturally, we became really good friends. But she has a boyfriend, a douchebag nonetheless, and so for the past few months I've developed feelings for her, hoping she'll break up with him or vice versa so that I can ask her out.

But alas, that's when reality hits me like a semi.

Seeing what her boyfriend is like, and her ex, I've realised that their both major league a******s, and that they've also got something I don't: Experience (if you get what I'm saying).

I ask all my friends at BK and my sister if I even stand a chance, and for the most part, they've all said no because I'm a virgin and have never had a relationship before (not to mention they don't think she'll go for the 'comic nerd' thing).

So the question is, what should I do? Tell her how I feel? Wait until she's single and take a risk? Or just move on (which is very hard to do, because at school, they have me in an isolated room all day with very few girls, all of which are taken, and are like sisters to me since I've known them for so long, and I'm very timid anyways and am really afraid of rejection)?
Normally, I'd say you always have some chance unless she expressly tells you that there is no chance ... but in this case, i think it's best you try to move on. Don't stay waiting for this one girl and let so many other opportunities pass you by. I mean, she DOES have a boyfriend, so you could wind up waiting a very long time, if not forever. But don't tell her how you feel just yet. Just let things play out naturally, after all you don't want to lose any pride or dignity by trying to make something happen, that likely won't happen.

[omid17]

[QUOTE]First off, in terms of my situation, i'm calling it quits. Yes, this girl was definitely more than worth it, but honestly, things just aren't as good as they sound. I just had a code-driven convo with her, and she made it clear many times that maybe I had expected too much from her, and that there were signs that she wasn't interested in the way that I had hoped for, but I just refused to listen.

I'm sorry guys. You guys did nothing wrong. This just failed because a bad course of luck and timing. Whether I had the balls or not to ask her out wouldn't have made any difference, since I was immediately placed in the friend zone right from the beginning. She's just not ready for anything now, and she said she doesn't want me to expect that she will be any time soon.

Once again, I'm sorry guys. If things were just a little different, I'm sure all of your advice would've worked perfectly. This was all just something built on false hope.

But really, thanks for all the help. I truly appreciate it.

don't be sorry dude, i know you tried your best and sometimes things don't work out perfectly, they're plenty of other fish in the sea dude, thats how i always look at it :cwink:




Normally, I'd say you always have some chance unless she expressly tells you that there is no chance ... but in this case, i think it's best you try to move on. Don't stay waiting for this one girl and let so many other opportunities pass you by. I mean, she DOES have a boyfriend, so you could wind up waiting a very long time, if not forever. But don't tell her how you feel just yet. Just let things play out naturally, after all you don't want to lose any pride or dignity by trying to make something happen, that likely won't happen. great advice :up:

[Mac_Hine]

:up:First off, in terms of my situation, i'm calling it quits. Yes, this girl was definitely more than worth it, but honestly, things just aren't as good as they sound. I just had a code-driven convo with her, and she made it clear many times that maybe I had expected too much from her, and that there were signs that she wasn't interested in the way that I had hoped for, but I just refused to listen.

I'm sorry guys. You guys did nothing wrong. This just failed because a bad course of luck and timing. Whether I had the balls or not to ask her out wouldn't have made any difference, since I was immediately placed in the friend zone right from the beginning. She's just not ready for anything now, and she said she doesn't want me to expect that she will be any time soon.

Once again, I'm sorry guys. If things were just a little different, I'm sure all of your advice would've worked perfectly. This was all just something built on false hope.

But really, thanks for all the help. I truly appreciate it.

It's all good man. The best way to get over it is to start working on yourself, then start talking to and dating other girls. Change your mind set to that of abundance instead of scarcity. :up:

[Cunning Stunts]

First off, in terms of my situation, i'm calling it quits. Yes, this girl was definitely more than worth it, but honestly, things just aren't as good as they sound. I just had a code-driven convo with her, and she made it clear many times that maybe I had expected too much from her, and that there were signs that she wasn't interested in the way that I had hoped for, but I just refused to listen.

I'm sorry guys. You guys did nothing wrong. This just failed because a bad course of luck and timing. Whether I had the balls or not to ask her out wouldn't have made any difference, since I was immediately placed in the friend zone right from the beginning. She's just not ready for anything now, and she said she doesn't want me to expect that she will be any time soon.

Once again, I'm sorry guys. If things were just a little different, I'm sure all of your advice would've worked perfectly. This was all just something built on false hope.

But really, thanks for all the help. I truly appreciate it.


That sucks pretty hard, dude. I'm sorry to hear that.

Oh well. Jump right back up and brush this one off. There'll be another very soon:up:.

[Erzengel]

OUCH!!!

ok, maybe I'm reading into this too much, but like one of her friends took pictures of all of us last night, and there were at least 3 of me and the girl. So I just checked facebook and saw that the pics were just put up. First off, there's only one pic of me and the girl, which was like the worst one of the night. Second, the caption reads " *girl's name* and her friend *my name* "

It's weird because there's more pics of her other friend with the guy she's being hooked up and captions of how they're a couple, which would be a new thing for them.

Now my question is, is this a bigger deal than I'm making it out to be? Is it possible that I've fallen into the friend zone and this is proof that I'll be nothing more. Or is it a wake-up call saying that I'm just a friend now and need to do more? After all, this is her friend speaking, who knows I like her. But then again, she did stay over at her house last night and it's more than likely that the pics were discussed beforehand and that could be the reason for leaving out the better ones.


First off, in terms of my situation, i'm calling it quits. Yes, this girl was definitely more than worth it, but honestly, things just aren't as good as they sound. I just had a code-driven convo with her, and she made it clear many times that maybe I had expected too much from her, and that there were signs that she wasn't interested in the way that I had hoped for, but I just refused to listen.

I'm sorry guys. You guys did nothing wrong. This just failed because a bad course of luck and timing. Whether I had the balls or not to ask her out wouldn't have made any difference, since I was immediately placed in the friend zone right from the beginning. She's just not ready for anything now, and she said she doesn't want me to expect that she will be any time soon.

Once again, I'm sorry guys. If things were just a little different, I'm sure all of your advice would've worked perfectly. This was all just something built on false hope.

But really, thanks for all the help. I truly appreciate it.


Dust yourself off and try again with someone else.

Dating is hard and you are young. It sucks yes, but at least you know with this one but don't fall into the trap of well maybe she will change her mind. Don't settle for just being friends and hang around because you are hoping for something more.

All in all, aside from not asking her out sooner, you didn't do too bad. Just learn from this so next time you know what to do.

And on a side note, you can't read too much into stuff like that facebook and you were making a bigger deal than it is. Which is another lesson you can learn, sometimes it is just black and white.

But, I'm digressing, you did the best that you could but whether it was circumstance, she just wasn't interested in more than friends. There will be other girls. :up:

[Chuck]

This thread = :dry:

[Erzengel]

Seeing what her boyfriend is like, and her ex, I've realised that their both major league a******s, and that they've also got something I don't: Experience (if you get what I'm saying).

I ask all my friends at BK and my sister if I even stand a chance, and for the most part, they've all said no because I'm a virgin and have never had a relationship before (not to mention they don't think she'll go for the 'comic nerd' thing).

So the question is, what should I do? Tell her how I feel? Wait until she's single and take a risk? Or just move on (which is very hard to do, because at school, they have me in an isolated room all day with very few girls, all of which are taken, and are like sisters to me since I've known them for so long, and I'm very timid anyways and am really afraid of rejection)?

When you start putting women above you on a pedestal than you have problems.

There should be no issue with dating someone with more experience. However, this has more to do with a "type" and honestly you may not be her type "right now". Also, she does have a boyfriend and if she doesn't look like she's particularly unhappy, you might be waiting for a bus that's not coming.

And I'd be careful who you tell that you like her because it may have a way of coming back to her.

Lastly, don't try and become her friend in hopes that one day she will change her feelings towards you. You will just end up hurting yourself more.

[SpideyVille]

Thanks for all the support guys. Here's the full story thought.

We started talking on aim, i asked if she had plans for today and she said she's wasn't sure. So I said we should meet up in case I get out of where I was going to be early, but she said she was sure she was going to be busy all day. I knew what this meant and i started to get a little angry because I could tell she was being less than honest. We started talking about the pics and I told her I could've swore there were more pics, then she said there were more but they go messed up. I asked how and she said like people had eyes closed or stuff like that, so they just didn't use them. I pointed out that there were plenty of pics like that that ended up being put up, but she kept back-peddling.

We changed the subject and I started to decide to be more straight forward with her, so something was said along the lines that she only states the obvious, and me telling her maybe she should speak about the not-so obvious to help out others find the truth. This basically started a long convo filled with metaphors that represented me and her. She said things like she wasn't sure that she was ready for more and was sorry if she lead me on to thinking that, even though I may have ignored a few signs early on (i guess the text messages n how i was still trying after she said no the first time). Even though I said I'd be patient and wait until she's ready, she said no because there might be someone else who she's waiting for, even if it may be because of some "false hope", much like what I had for her. She also said that maybe I was looking for a deeper meaning that wasnt there, and because of that, I believed things were gonna happen between us.

It was a long, long convo. We both didn't end up sleeping until 6 in the morning. But the end story is we're just gonna be friends. She said she doesn't want me to regret crossing paths with her because this happened for a reason and I will learn from it and get stronger from it. That's why she doesn't want us to be distant, although that choice only lies on me.

I don't have any more hope for me and her, but I still wanna be apart of her life because it is true, maybe she's meant to help me in a bigger way than I imagined. She may not be the girlfriend I had hoped for, but she's definitely a good friend that I've really needed. We've also decided to be completely honest with each other and not try to keep things like the not-so obvious hidden as deeply.

[The Batman]

Question....

Back in the day, when I was in high school, there was this girl i liked, we got along well, and even had this lame running joke about how we were married and stuff like that. anyway, she got a boyfriend at some point, but i never said anything about it.

One day, we were on a School trip in NYC, and we ended up in the pizza store. Being the guy i was back then, i kinda kept away out of fear of doing something stupid, and i sat alone drinking dr. pepper. she and her friend decided to sit at my table with me, and then we talked and whatnot. At one point, she pulls out her senior class photo and talked to her friend about sending it to her boyfriend...but heres the thing....she said it in a whisper kind of way, as if she didnt want me to hear that she had a boyfriend....i pretended not to listen, and she was saying something about how he might not be able to take her to prom....and then she asked me. i didnt know how to respond, so i was speechless for a couple seconds before saying "If you want me to, ill take you." Then, she kind of said in a disappointed kind of voice "We'll see"

i always thought she asked me as a joke, personally...what do you guys think?

[Erzengel]

Thanks for all the support guys. Here's the full story thought.

We started talking on aim, i asked if she had plans for today and she said she's wasn't sure. So I said we should meet up in case I get out of where I was going to be early, but she said she was sure she was going to be busy all day. I knew what this meant and i started to get a little angry because I could tell she was being less than honest. We started talking about the pics and I told her I could've swore there were more pics, then she said there were more but they go messed up. I asked how and she said like people had eyes closed or stuff like that, so they just didn't use them. I pointed out that there were plenty of pics like that that ended up being put up, but she kept back-peddling.

We changed the subject and I started to decide to be more straight forward with her, so something was said along the lines that she only states the obvious, and me telling her maybe she should speak about the not-so obvious to help out others find the truth. This basically started a long convo filled with metaphors that represented me and her. She said things like she wasn't sure that she was ready for more and was sorry if she lead me on to thinking that, even though I may have ignored a few signs early on (i guess the text messages n how i was still trying after she said no the first time). Even though I said I'd be patient and wait until she's ready, she said no because there might be someone else who she's waiting for, even if it may be because of some "false hope", much like what I had for her. She also said that maybe I was looking for a deeper meaning that wasnt there, and because of that, I believed things were gonna happen between us.

It was a long, long convo. We both didn't end up sleeping until 6 in the morning. But the end story is we're just gonna be friends. She said she doesn't want me to regret crossing paths with her because this happened for a reason and I will learn from it and get stronger from it. That's why she doesn't want us to be distant, although that choice only lies on me.

I don't have any more hope for me and her, but I still wanna be apart of her life because it is true, maybe she's meant to help me in a bigger way than I imagined. She may not be the girlfriend I had hoped for, but she's definitely a good friend that I've really needed. We've also decided to be completely honest with each other and not try to keep things like the not-so obvious hidden as deeply.
Eh, this is all on you. However, even though you may think you are okay with just being friends with her, you have to be careful especially if she's really the only girl in your life. You can still develop stronger feelings for her while you are her "friend".

Secondly, yeah she was trying to be subtle and spare your feelings which is very common. I don't particularly remember her you telling us she said no, but I guess that's neither here nor there. I've missed signals in the past.

Like I said, chalk it up to experience and try again with another girl.

[Erzengel]

Question....

Back in the day, when I was in high school, there was this girl i liked, we got along well, and even had this lame running joke about how we were married and stuff like that. anyway, she got a boyfriend at some point, but i never said anything about it.

One day, we were on a School trip in NYC, and we ended up in the pizza store. Being the guy i was back then, i kinda kept away out of fear of doing something stupid, and i sat alone drinking dr. pepper. she and her friend decided to sit at my table with me, and then we talked and whatnot. At one point, she pulls out her senior class photo and talked to her friend about sending it to her boyfriend...but heres the thing....she said it in a whisper kind of way, as if she didnt want me to hear that she had a boyfriend....i pretended not to listen, and she was saying something about how he might not be able to take her to prom....and then she asked me. i didnt know how to respond, so i was speechless for a couple seconds before saying "If you want me to, ill take you." Then, she kind of said in a disappointed kind of voice "We'll see"

i always thought she asked me as a joke, personally...what do you guys think?

Ah, who knows maybe she was testing you and she was serious. Maybe she was just joking with you.

Regardless, it's in the past and not much came after it unless you wanna state otherwise.

[uchiha_itachi]

I'm pretty sure girls invented confusion

[bullets]

they reallly are confusing . once you catch on to their twisted logic it doesn't start to make sense but you can figure out what they are going to do.

[Immortalfire]

I'm pretty sure girls invented confusion

They are the living embodiment of confusion.

[uchiha_itachi]

That is so true....but what can yah do?

[uchiha_itachi]

they reallly are confusing . once you catch on to their twisted logic it doesn't start to make sense but you can figure out what they are going to do.

thing is i dont think some of them mean to be confusing they just are by nature.

[Gilpesh]

they reallly are confusing . once you catch on to their twisted logic it doesn't start to make sense but you can figure out what they are going to do.

Like ignore me when sober but then suddenly be my best friend when drunk.

:whatever:

Goddamn you alcohol... You ruin things on a whim.

[DV8]

That is so true....but what can yah do?

secks 'em up :up: :o

[DV8]

Thanks for all the support guys. Here's the full story thought.

We started talking on aim, i asked if she had plans for today and she said she's wasn't sure. So I said we should meet up in case I get out of where I was going to be early, but she said she was sure she was going to be busy all day. I knew what this meant and i started to get a little angry because I could tell she was being less than honest. We started talking about the pics and I told her I could've swore there were more pics, then she said there were more but they go messed up. I asked how and she said like people had eyes closed or stuff like that, so they just didn't use them. I pointed out that there were plenty of pics like that that ended up being put up, but she kept back-peddling.

We changed the subject and I started to decide to be more straight forward with her, so something was said along the lines that she only states the obvious, and me telling her maybe she should speak about the not-so obvious to help out others find the truth. This basically started a long convo filled with metaphors that represented me and her. She said things like she wasn't sure that she was ready for more and was sorry if she lead me on to thinking that, even though I may have ignored a few signs early on (i guess the text messages n how i was still trying after she said no the first time). Even though I said I'd be patient and wait until she's ready, she said no because there might be someone else who she's waiting for, even if it may be because of some "false hope", much like what I had for her. She also said that maybe I was looking for a deeper meaning that wasnt there, and because of that, I believed things were gonna happen between us.

It was a long, long convo. We both didn't end up sleeping until 6 in the morning. But the end story is we're just gonna be friends. She said she doesn't want me to regret crossing paths with her because this happened for a reason and I will learn from it and get stronger from it. That's why she doesn't want us to be distant, although that choice only lies on me.

I don't have any more hope for me and her, but I still wanna be apart of her life because it is true, maybe she's meant to help me in a bigger way than I imagined. She may not be the girlfriend I had hoped for, but she's definitely a good friend that I've really needed. We've also decided to be completely honest with each other and not try to keep things like the not-so obvious hidden as deeply.

well that sucks ass, Spidey . . . but at least you know where you stand; I bet it feels like a relief in a way . . . . but yeah, time to move on man . . . college will provide MANY opportunities for relationships . . . you just need to get out there :up:

[Gilpesh]

well that sucks ass, Spidey . . . but at least you know where you stand; I bet it feels like a relief in a way . . . . but yeah, time to move on man . . . college will provide MANY opportunities for relationships . . . you just need to get out there :up:

With ruffees! :grin:






But srsly don't do that. The above message was for entertainment value only and does not reflect the good advice usually given in this thread.

[DV8]

With ruffees! :grin:






But srsly don't do that. The above message was for entertainment value only and does not reflect the good advice usually given in this thread.

Ha!! :hehe:

[Captain Planet!]

Thanks for all the support guys. Here's the full story thought.

We started talking on aim, i asked if she had plans for today and she said she's wasn't sure. So I said we should meet up in case I get out of where I was going to be early, but she said she was sure she was going to be busy all day. I knew what this meant and i started to get a little angry because I could tell she was being less than honest. We started talking about the pics and I told her I could've swore there were more pics, then she said there were more but they go messed up. I asked how and she said like people had eyes closed or stuff like that, so they just didn't use them. I pointed out that there were plenty of pics like that that ended up being put up, but she kept back-peddling.

We changed the subject and I started to decide to be more straight forward with her, so something was said along the lines that she only states the obvious, and me telling her maybe she should speak about the not-so obvious to help out others find the truth. This basically started a long convo filled with metaphors that represented me and her. She said things like she wasn't sure that she was ready for more and was sorry if she lead me on to thinking that, even though I may have ignored a few signs early on (i guess the text messages n how i was still trying after she said no the first time). Even though I said I'd be patient and wait until she's ready, she said no because there might be someone else who she's waiting for, even if it may be because of some "false hope", much like what I had for her. She also said that maybe I was looking for a deeper meaning that wasnt there, and because of that, I believed things were gonna happen between us.

It was a long, long convo. We both didn't end up sleeping until 6 in the morning. But the end story is we're just gonna be friends. She said she doesn't want me to regret crossing paths with her because this happened for a reason and I will learn from it and get stronger from it. That's why she doesn't want us to be distant, although that choice only lies on me.

I don't have any more hope for me and her, but I still wanna be apart of her life because it is true, maybe she's meant to help me in a bigger way than I imagined. She may not be the girlfriend I had hoped for, but she's definitely a good friend that I've really needed. We've also decided to be completely honest with each other and not try to keep things like the not-so obvious hidden as deeply.
Don't worry brotha, you'll find someone.

[Magneto29]

Has anyone who's asked advice on here had any success yet? Everytime I look I see stories of disappointment.

[Gilpesh]

Has anyone who's asked advice on here had any success yet? Everytime I look I see stories of disappointment.


Just cause it fails in practice because of the people... doesn't mean socialism on paper sucks. :whatever:

[DV8]

^yeah . . . all the advice given here has failed as a result of user-error :o

[Erzengel]

In the defense of the people who do give advice, a lot of times when people seek advice it's to validate a previously made decision.

Others vehemently believe what they are doing is right that they choose to ignore any advice. See Ghostrider87.

[Gilpesh]

Also when the people give advice, it is based on the subjective viewpoint of the person asking advice... although sometimes it is easy to see through that, it still isn't always the case.

[omid17]

In the defense of the people who do give advice, a lot of times when people seek advice it's to validate a previously made decision.

Others vehemently believe what they are doing is right that they choose to ignore any advice. See Ghostrider87.so true

[Superman79]

In the defense of the people who do give advice, a lot of times when people seek advice it's to validate a previously made decision.

Others vehemently believe what they are doing is right that they choose to ignore any advice. See Ghostrider87.

Also when the people give advice, it is based on the subjective viewpoint of the person asking advice... although sometimes it is easy to see through that, it still isn't always the case.

And lets not forget that many times certain details we would need to better cater our advice are left out or not given to us by the advice seeker.

[omid17]

And lets not forget that many times certain details we would need to better cater our advice are left out or not given to us by the advice seeker.
also true

[Superman79]

Thanks for all the support guys. Here's the full story thought.

We started talking on aim, i asked if she had plans for today and she said she's wasn't sure. So I said we should meet up in case I get out of where I was going to be early, but she said she was sure she was going to be busy all day. I knew what this meant and i started to get a little angry because I could tell she was being less than honest. We started talking about the pics and I told her I could've swore there were more pics, then she said there were more but they go messed up. I asked how and she said like people had eyes closed or stuff like that, so they just didn't use them. I pointed out that there were plenty of pics like that that ended up being put up, but she kept back-peddling.

We changed the subject and I started to decide to be more straight forward with her, so something was said along the lines that she only states the obvious, and me telling her maybe she should speak about the not-so obvious to help out others find the truth. This basically started a long convo filled with metaphors that represented me and her. She said things like she wasn't sure that she was ready for more and was sorry if she lead me on to thinking that, even though I may have ignored a few signs early on (i guess the text messages n how i was still trying after she said no the first time). Even though I said I'd be patient and wait until she's ready, she said no because there might be someone else who she's waiting for, even if it may be because of some "false hope", much like what I had for her. She also said that maybe I was looking for a deeper meaning that wasnt there, and because of that, I believed things were gonna happen between us.

It was a long, long convo. We both didn't end up sleeping until 6 in the morning. But the end story is we're just gonna be friends. She said she doesn't want me to regret crossing paths with her because this happened for a reason and I will learn from it and get stronger from it. That's why she doesn't want us to be distant, although that choice only lies on me.

I don't have any more hope for me and her, but I still wanna be apart of her life because it is true, maybe she's meant to help me in a bigger way than I imagined. She may not be the girlfriend I had hoped for, but she's definitely a good friend that I've really needed. We've also decided to be completely honest with each other and not try to keep things like the not-so obvious hidden as deeply.


Bummer dude. :(

Well at least you tried, and there are plenty of eligible females out there, so rub some dirt on it, walk it off and get back in the game. :up:

[omid17]

guys i want ask this girl out, what or how should i do it? Haven't seen her for many years, but got my license and i totally want to make a move, but don't know how to approach her

[SpideyVille]

Eh, this is all on you. However, even though you may think you are okay with just being friends with her, you have to be careful especially if she's really the only girl in your life. You can still develop stronger feelings for her while you are her "friend".

Secondly, yeah she was trying to be subtle and spare your feelings which is very common. I don't particularly remember her you telling us she said no, but I guess that's neither here nor there. I've missed signals in the past.

Like I said, chalk it up to experience and try again with another girl.
Yeah, in a way I'm glad to be her friend because she's a cool chick and we're so alike and (here comes the sad cliche) it's better than nothing. But at the same time I feel like there's really no reason why we shouldn't be together. I mean we know exactly what's on the other's mind, we have so much in common, and it's like we get what the other is saying so perfectly even when it sounds so confusing. But I guess I can relax now knowing that I don't have to worry about making a move or trying to flirt.

And I think she was referring to the text msgs when she said she wasn't sure about being more than friends. I guess that was a rejection to her.

well that sucks ass, Spidey . . . but at least you know where you stand; I bet it feels like a relief in a way . . . . but yeah, time to move on man . . . college will provide MANY opportunities for relationships . . . you just need to get out there :up:
Yea, I even told her that last night/this morning that I'm glad we finally got that out of the way.

And that's the thing. I liked her from early on, but I stood away because I knew how hard I would fall for her. And I was happier with that decision back then. I didn't want to get out there because I wasn't sure whether I was ready for anything either. But now it's like there were things that pointed towards making it work with her, so I felt like I had to go for it.

In the defense of the people who do give advice, a lot of times when people seek advice it's to validate a previously made decision.
I will admit that I was very guilty of that before, but not in this case.
Don't worry brotha, you'll find someone.
Bummer dude. :(

Well at least you tried, and there are plenty of eligible females out there, so rub some dirt on it, walk it off and get back in the game. :up:
That's another thing. I liked a lot of girls before, but I always screwed up early on, and most of the time by reasons that weren't my fault, but more due to the personality of the girl. Every other girl I liked was only based on looks. I never took the time to get to know them and judge just how much could I really like them.

But now, i started to become more attracted to her based on her personality (even though she looked really good too lol). But it's like we connected so much that I feel like we should be together, and I can't imagine finding the same thing in someone else. I mean she likes me for who i am, which is something no other girl has ever tried to do. None have ever tried to get to know me, they were just quick to dismiss me without giving me a chance.

I know it's supposed to be easier to get over as you get older and have experience, but honestly this one hurts the most. It's like I was in there, or was at least lead to believe I was, but now I completely shut out in terms of anything more.

[Erzengel]

My advice is don't invest so much time in this particular girl anymore. Don't be up until 6 am talking to her, and especially don't be that guy who listens to her guy problems in the vain hope that she will someday see you as boyfriend material.

[SpideyVille]

Well she never talked about guy problems. If anything, she would bring up something about her ex, but then end it quickly by saying she's glad she left him, before I can say anything about it.

And she's already invited me to meet with her so she could take me to her church tomorrow. Though she still hasn't told me when or where to meet her.

[The Batman]

Ah, who knows maybe she was testing you and she was serious. Maybe she was just joking with you.

Regardless, it's in the past and not much came after it unless you wanna state otherwise.

Nothin much, really. I got her a gift for her birthday, and then she got me a batmobile for mine.

A little after that, we didnt talk very much. I was distant in high school, and i wouldnt even call people on the phone

[Gilpesh]

And lets not forget that many times certain details we would need to better cater our advice are left out or not given to us by the advice seeker.

Like how the two have never talked and the only interactions between them have been him looking through her window at night. :wow:

[Erzengel]

Well she never talked about guy problems. If anything, she would bring up something about her ex, but then end it quickly by saying she's glad she left him, before I can say anything about it.

And she's already invited me to meet with her so she could take me to her church tomorrow. Though she still hasn't told me when or where to meet her.

Uh. Do you really want to spend time with this girl even as friends? You just might start liking her more, even if you realize she doesn't want that.

It would still be easy for you to develop more feelings for her.

I'm not saying losing her number (although, not a terrible idea), but I'd be careful on how much time you spend with her. You should be focusing on meeting other women.

[Erzengel]

Nothin much, really. I got her a gift for her birthday, and then she got me a batmobile for mine.

A little after that, we didnt talk very much. I was distant in high school, and i wouldnt even call people on the phone
I guess my point was the only person who would really know would be her.

[SpideyVille]

Uh. Do you really want to spend time with this girl even as friends? You just might start liking her more, even if you realize she doesn't want that.

It would still be easy for you to develop more feelings for her.

I'm not saying losing her number (although, not a terrible idea), but I'd be careful on how much time you spend with her. You should be focusing on meeting other women.
No, I know exactly what you mean and you are absolutely correct. But i've been in this situation before, in fact with the last girl I liked. We started becoming good friends then I started developing feelings for her, even after she randomly said one day (without ever knowing i liked her) that we'd never date. But even after that, I still went for it, and I ended up losing her for a long time. She was one of my few coolest friends, and I messed things up. Now I know not to be stupid and try that again. Besides, I highly doubt that me and her are going to hang out a lot more often now. After tomorrow, I know I won't see her until school starts again after Spring Break.

And if I start focusing on meeting women, I know I'm not going to because I'll start looking everywhere and start obsessing over every girl that passes me by. That's a habit I left in high school.

[Erzengel]

Well I'm not telling you to ask every single girl out that you can. I'm telling you to keep your options open. You shouldn't force anything but if the opportunity arises where you meet someone, ask them out, ask them for their number, ask them something.

[Remy LeBeau X3]

well i haven't posted here in a while as everything has been pretty good with me lately, although now i've got some issues once again, but nothing like the previous ones here. ok so there is this guy i like, great guy. he's hilarious, very smart, charming, out going, hot, great listener, gentlemen, sorry list goes on. but really cool and i've known him for about four years now. he just got out of a eight month relationship about a week ago. he and his ex are cool, not great but talkable. well two years ago he dated one of my friends and they broke up because she moved over the summer and then came back this school year. she told me about him and how great he was to her but keeps telling me to go for him. before it was never even an option, but obviously now there is yet i feel guilty "talking" to him when she still likes him even though she has reassured and encouraged me to talk to him. my issue is, should i? i'm not gonna lie, i want to. but don't get me wrong nothing would even happen for a while because he's expressed his "frustration" with gfs at the moment, plus even though i've known him for a long time, we weren't "really" close just good acquaintances. now we're becoming better friends and of course i'd like to and i guess are establishing that right now. but then again i know that him and my friend had a close relationship even though it lasted about four months. so who's to say he's even interested in me right? well i have hung out with him a few times this past week. i kinda have an idea of what i want/will do but i'm just curious to hear what others think. all my friends say go for it. except for the guy friend i have (the one that liked me and i explained it on here) he says i should "wait" for i'm not sure what.

[uchiha_itachi]

sounds like your guy firend wants you to wait for him tbh.

i say go for it, specially if he;s that gr8 an all your mates are telling you to, how could you not?

[Harlekin]

Yeah, in a way I'm glad to be her friend because she's a cool chick and we're so alike and (here comes the sad cliche) it's better than nothing. But at the same time I feel like there's really no reason why we shouldn't be together. I mean we know exactly what's on the other's mind, we have so much in common, and it's like we get what the other is saying so perfectly even when it sounds so confusing. But I guess I can relax now knowing that I don't have to worry about making a move or trying to flirt.

Just to note, sometimes, that's exactly why you shouldn't be together.

[The Phantom]

well i haven't posted here in a while as everything has been pretty good with me lately, although now i've got some issues once again, but nothing like the previous ones here. ok so there is this guy i like, great guy. he's hilarious, very smart, charming, out going, hot, great listener, gentlemen, sorry list goes on. but really cool and i've known him for about four years now. he just got out of a eight month relationship about a week ago. he and his ex are cool, not great but talkable. well two years ago he dated one of my friends and they broke up because she moved over the summer and then came back this school year. she told me about him and how great he was to her but keeps telling me to go for him. before it was never even an option, but obviously now there is yet i feel guilty "talking" to him when she still likes him even though she has reassured and encouraged me to talk to him. my issue is, should i? i'm not gonna lie, i want to. but don't get me wrong nothing would even happen for a while because he's expressed his "frustration" with gfs at the moment, plus even though i've known him for a long time, we weren't "really" close just good acquaintances. now we're becoming better friends and of course i'd like to and i guess are establishing that right now. but then again i know that him and my friend had a close relationship even though it lasted about four months. so who's to say he's even interested in me right? well i have hung out with him a few times this past week. i kinda have an idea of what i want/will do but i'm just curious to hear what others think. all my friends say go for it. except for the guy friend i have (the one that liked me and i explained it on here) he says i should "wait" for i'm not sure what.
http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c272/smi-o/New%20pix/its-a-trap-cat.gif

[Erzengel]

well i haven't posted here in a while as everything has been pretty good with me lately, although now i've got some issues once again, but nothing like the previous ones here. ok so there is this guy i like, great guy. he's hilarious, very smart, charming, out going, hot, great listener, gentlemen, sorry list goes on. but really cool and i've known him for about four years now. he just got out of a eight month relationship about a week ago. he and his ex are cool, not great but talkable. well two years ago he dated one of my friends and they broke up because she moved over the summer and then came back this school year. she told me about him and how great he was to her but keeps telling me to go for him. before it was never even an option, but obviously now there is yet i feel guilty "talking" to him when she still likes him even though she has reassured and encouraged me to talk to him. my issue is, should i? i'm not gonna lie, i want to. but don't get me wrong nothing would even happen for a while because he's expressed his "frustration" with gfs at the moment, plus even though i've known him for a long time, we weren't "really" close just good acquaintances. now we're becoming better friends and of course i'd like to and i guess are establishing that right now. but then again i know that him and my friend had a close relationship even though it lasted about four months. so who's to say he's even interested in me right? well i have hung out with him a few times this past week. i kinda have an idea of what i want/will do but i'm just curious to hear what others think. all my friends say go for it. except for the guy friend i have (the one that liked me and i explained it on here) he says i should "wait" for i'm not sure what.

Listen. Break up your sentences and paragraphs. :csad:

And your entire issue sounds so......Dawson's Creek. Or maybe I should update it, now, what the Hills? What's the new OC? :o

Anyway, if your friend says she's alright that you date her ex and you want to do it, then do it. However, weight the consequences of you possibly losing that friend because she might be full of sh't. Is it worth it?

[Remy LeBeau X3]

^ sorry :csad:

ok well, i am planning on just continuing everything the way it is and i'll see from there. i like him, but i'd never want to lose a friend, so if he and i get to a level of possible dating then i'll deal with it from there.

i mean there's a chance he won't and doesn't even like me anyway.

[amazingfantasy15]

Thanks for all the support guys. Here's the full story thought.

We started talking on aim, i asked if she had plans for today and she said she's wasn't sure. So I said we should meet up in case I get out of where I was going to be early, but she said she was sure she was going to be busy all day. I knew what this meant and i started to get a little angry because I could tell she was being less than honest. We started talking about the pics and I told her I could've swore there were more pics, then she said there were more but they go messed up. I asked how and she said like people had eyes closed or stuff like that, so they just didn't use them. I pointed out that there were plenty of pics like that that ended up being put up, but she kept back-peddling.

We changed the subject and I started to decide to be more straight forward with her, so something was said along the lines that she only states the obvious, and me telling her maybe she should speak about the not-so obvious to help out others find the truth. This basically started a long convo filled with metaphors that represented me and her. She said things like she wasn't sure that she was ready for more and was sorry if she lead me on to thinking that, even though I may have ignored a few signs early on (i guess the text messages n how i was still trying after she said no the first time). Even though I said I'd be patient and wait until she's ready, she said no because there might be someone else who she's waiting for, even if it may be because of some "false hope", much like what I had for her. She also said that maybe I was looking for a deeper meaning that wasnt there, and because of that, I believed things were gonna happen between us.

It was a long, long convo. We both didn't end up sleeping until 6 in the morning. But the end story is we're just gonna be friends. She said she doesn't want me to regret crossing paths with her because this happened for a reason and I will learn from it and get stronger from it. That's why she doesn't want us to be distant, although that choice only lies on me.

I don't have any more hope for me and her, but I still wanna be apart of her life because it is true, maybe she's meant to help me in a bigger way than I imagined. She may not be the girlfriend I had hoped for, but she's definitely a good friend that I've really needed. We've also decided to be completely honest with each other and not try to keep things like the not-so obvious hidden as deeply.

That sucks man. Seems like you met/started talking to her at the exact wrong moment and never had a legimate chance of things working out. If you think you can put aside your feelings you should definitely stay friends with her, you seem to get along really well. However, that's only if you know you can put your feelings aside.

[DV8]

well i haven't posted here in a while as everything has been pretty good with me lately, although now i've got some issues once again, but nothing like the previous ones here. ok so there is this guy i like, great guy. he's hilarious, very smart, charming, out going, hot, great listener, gentlemen, sorry list goes on. but really cool and i've known him for about four years now. he just got out of a eight month relationship about a week ago. he and his ex are cool, not great but talkable. well two years ago he dated one of my friends and they broke up because she moved over the summer and then came back this school year. she told me about him and how great he was to her but keeps telling me to go for him. before it was never even an option, but obviously now there is yet i feel guilty "talking" to him when she still likes him even though she has reassured and encouraged me to talk to him. my issue is, should i? i'm not gonna lie, i want to. but don't get me wrong nothing would even happen for a while because he's expressed his "frustration" with gfs at the moment, plus even though i've known him for a long time, we weren't "really" close just good acquaintances. now we're becoming better friends and of course i'd like to and i guess are establishing that right now. but then again i know that him and my friend had a close relationship even though it lasted about four months. so who's to say he's even interested in me right? well i have hung out with him a few times this past week. i kinda have an idea of what i want/will do but i'm just curious to hear what others think. all my friends say go for it. except for the guy friend i have (the one that liked me and i explained it on here) he says i should "wait" for i'm not sure what.

hahaha, go for it!!! we both know why that one guy friend is telling you to 'wait' :whatever:

anyway, when you see something you want, go for it; do what you want; you can't spend your whole life waiting around to make others happy . . . you have to look out for #1 too :up:

[Cunning Stunts]

^ sorry :csad:

ok well, i am planning on just continuing everything the way it is and i'll see from there. i like him, but i'd never want to lose a friend, so if he and i get to a level of possible dating then i'll deal with it from there.

i mean there's a chance he won't and doesn't even like me anyway.

Just be careful about it. Be sure that he likes you before you make any moves, and be sure that your friend is actually okay with it. As a good friend, she shouldn't lie to you about it, especially about something like this.

However, as a good friend, she should also not really have a problem with your happiness with this guy, especially if her relationship with the guy before was short.

[Gilpesh]

Time for some success in this thread.

I was a pimp at some party tonight. That is all.

[DoomRulz]

I can relate to that...I met 5 hot girls at a club last night :woot:

[Angel_Faerie]

It's over. He officially broke my heart today. All the happiness, hope, and love in my heart is all gone. Carved out and replaced with a big bruise with his name on it that will never go away. And I'll never blame him for it being there. The fault is all mine. I was a fool to believe that it could happen for he and I.

[SpideyVille]

It's over. He officially broke my heart today. All the happiness, hope, and love in my heart is all gone. Carved out and replaced with a big bruise with his name on it that will never go away. And I'll never blame him for it being there. The fault is all mine. I was a fool to believe that it could happen for he and I.
What did he do?

[Angel_Faerie]

Well, you'd have to read my Myspace blog to get the whole story. He sent me a Myspace message just a few minutes ago. Here it is:


Listen, I know that I'm the kid in your blogs and that you like me. No, I'm not atracted to that red-headed girl in speech class, I don't even know her name. And I'm not attracted to anyone else for that matter. In that song speech I gave a while back, I said that I've never met the girl whom I love so much. I have no idea who she is or will be. I said that I have decided not to date or get into the whole boyfriend/girlfriend relationship in order to save all I have for the girl I one day marry and spend the rest of my life with - I'm not going to give any of my heart away to someone I'm not going to be with forever. So, I've decided that I will wait until I'm ready for marriage before I really start searching for my princess - I refuse to have anything to do with dating while I'm still in high school and nothing and no one will change that. Sorry.

It sounds like liking me has brought you nothing but grief. Your mood appears to be constantly going downhill and you're losing all your friends. There's so much more to life than Colter Green and your crush is hindering you from experiencing that. You said that you continue to pray to God for someone to love who loves you back. Well He loves you so much more than any person ever could, and you'll find infinitely more fulfillment from loving Him than me. In fact, investing in a relationship with Him is the most beneficial thing you could ever do. Loving Him will bless you infinetly more than liking me :].

[Magneto29]

At least he's kind enough to actually say something to you, and to be nice about it. Even if he doesn't want to date, you should still stay friends. He sounds like his current focus in his life is his religion, which is a rare thing in people these days. Most guys in his position would probably run and completely ignore you. To me it sounds like he actually has a heart. Take his advice.

[SpideyVille]

Well, you'd have to read my Myspace blog to get the whole story. He sent me a Myspace message just a few minutes ago. Here it is:

I completely agree with his second paragraph, but this isn't a religion thread so I won't get into that.

As far as the first part is concerned, I get what he's trying to say, but he being very unrealistic and contradictory. I mean. yeah it'd be nice for the first person you go out with to be the same person that you'll spend your life with, and it's definitely possible. But honestly, to hold off dating completely for a while is either a really bad excuse, or a sad way to think about life. After all, he could meet his special someone next week in a class but pass her up because he doesn't want to date. I don't know, he might actually be being honest here, but i think his reasoning is just dumb.

But you can't look at this as a loss. I mean sure, you didn't get the guy that you wanted, but you still have your life, which is the most important thing you can have. This whole situation didn't kill you, it on;y made you stronger for life in general, and experience for the next time you find yourself in a situation like this. Just don't go dwelling on this too much because that can really make you sick. Just realize that this isn't the worst thing that can happen to you.

[Harlekin]

Yeah, I gotta say, Colter is a bit off his nutter, but at least he let you down nicely.

[Superman79]

It's over. He officially broke my heart today. All the happiness, hope, and love in my heart is all gone. Carved out and replaced with a big bruise with his name on it that will never go away. And I'll never blame him for it being there. The fault is all mine. I was a fool to believe that it could happen for he and I.

Ok dear, I know it hurts, but you really to pull yourself together and realize this isn't the end of the world...oh, and you need to stop listening to Panic! At the Disco :cwink:

We tried to warn you, but now that its over and done with, you will heal, just concentrate on living your life, otherwise you'll miss out on it altogether.

[Erzengel]

Good AF now you can get on with your life. I know you are hurting and this is probably the most "hurt" you've ever felt. But, you'll get over it and realize how trivial it was.

[amazingfantasy15]

It's over. He officially broke my heart today. All the happiness, hope, and love in my heart is all gone. Carved out and replaced with a big bruise with his name on it that will never go away. And I'll never blame him for it being there. The fault is all mine. I was a fool to believe that it could happen for he and I.

I've said before and I'll say it again, this guy is a complete and total loser and a frakking moron to boot after reading his message. You're so much better off without him. To think that the first girl he dates will be his princess and soul-mate? Hahahahahaha! The first girl he dates will break his heart more than he's broken yours. Cheer up, stop being so melodramatic and just enjoy life because there's plenty to enjoy out there. The weather is getting better, school is just about over, just have fun and don't worry about finding a guy. Once you've stopped being overly melodramatic and actually start enjoying life, people will see that attitude in you and make you more attractive to other people. Leave Colter to his fantasy world and take joy in the fact that he'll probably spend the rest of his life in his parents basement waiting for his "princess" to move within 15 minutes of him.

[The Batman]

I'd take solace in the fact that his not liking you has more to do with his highly unrealistic expectations than what he thinks of you as a person....

[DoomRulz]

I'm impressed with his brutal honesty. He isn't like most guys who flower things up to soften the blow.

[Angel_Faerie]

Ok dear, I know it hurts, but you really to pull yourself together and realize this isn't the end of the world...oh, and you need to stop listening to Panic! At the Disco :cwink:

We tried to warn you, but now that its over and done with, you will heal, just concentrate on living your life, otherwise you'll miss out on it altogether.

I know it isn't the end of the world, but it sure feels like it. What was the point of all of this? What was he point of feeling like I had finally found everything I wanted and then having it ripped away from me? Strength? I was already strong to begin with. To become jaded? Well, if that was the point, it worked. I am now very cynical. And, by the way, Panic! At The Disco is a great band.

I'm starting to wonder why I should even bother trying to move on with my life. I'll just end up hurt again and again and again. My life has been almost nothing but pain and heartache all year long and I'm sick of it. I want to be happy, damn it! But it seems like there's no such thing as happiness for me anymore.

[Magneto29]

The only way to be happy is to move on. Just dwelling on and thinking about it will never change anything. Start focusing on other things than guys. I'd had similar issues about being unhappy and heartache with guys, but I got over it. It's just not going to happen overnight. Don't define your life in someone else.

[DV8]

I know it isn't the end of the world, but it sure feels like it. What was the point of all of this? What was he point of feeling like I had finally found everything I wanted and then having it ripped away from me? Strength? I was already strong to begin with. To become jaded? Well, if that was the point, it worked. I am now very cynical. And, by the way, Panic! At The Disco is a great band.

I'm starting to wonder why I should even bother trying to move on with my life. I'll just end up hurt again and again and again. My life has been almost nothing but pain and heartache all year long and I'm sick of it. I want to be happy, damn it! But it seems like there's no such thing as happiness for me anymore.


Angel, c'mon . . . you really need to stop with this, right here: it's melodrama, and it's a huge turn off to guys. we've been telling you for months to get over Colter, and if you did that to begin with, you wouldn't feel so bad right now . . .

what's the point?? everything happens for a reason, sweetheart; that's for you to decide . . .

anyway, the only reason you aren't happy is your own fault. GET OVER IT. it's not the end of the world, and to be honest, feeling sorry for yourself is selfish; think of all the people that have valid reasons to be unhappy; like people who have lost their families to drunk drivers or cancer; you're posting on an internet message board, life can't be depriving you of that much :whatever:

[Angel_Faerie]

Angel, c'mon . . . you really need to stop with this, right here: it's melodrama, and it's a huge turn off to guys. we've been telling you for months to get over Colter, and if you did that to begin with, you wouldn't feel so bad right now . . .

what's the point?? everything happens for a reason, sweetheart; that's for you to decide . . .

anyway, the only reason you aren't happy is your own fault. GET OVER IT. it's not the end of the world, and to be honest, feeling sorry for yourself is selfish; think of all the people that have valid reasons to be unhappy; like people who have lost their families to drunk drivers or cancer; you're posting on an internet message board, life can't be depriving you of that much :whatever:

You may be right. If I had just gotten over him to begin with, I wouldn't be here now. But I was stupid and afraid that if I DID get over him that it'd turn out that he liked me but I wouldn't care because I was over him. If he had said what he did in the first place it would have been a whole lot easier. It would have still hurt, but probably not as much because I wouldn't have spent as much time trying to figure out what he thought.

I can't figure out what the point is. Maybe someday I will.

You don't honestly expect me to get over it right away, do you? It just happened yesterday. And sure there are people going through worse out there, and I feel sorry for them. And my reasons for being unhappy are valid, or at least feel that way to me. I'll probably look back on this years from now and say they weren't, but for right now, I think they are.

[SpideyVille]

I know it isn't the end of the world, but it sure feels like it. What was the point of all of this? What was he point of feeling like I had finally found everything I wanted and then having it ripped away from me? Strength? I was already strong to begin with. To become jaded? Well, if that was the point, it worked. I am now very cynical. And, by the way, Panic! At The Disco is a great band.

I'm starting to wonder why I should even bother trying to move on with my life. I'll just end up hurt again and again and again. My life has been almost nothing but pain and heartache all year long and I'm sick of it. I want to be happy, damn it! But it seems like there's no such thing as happiness for me anymore.

I started reading but stopped after reading this. How exactly did you feel like you found everything you wanted? Do you mean in him? Because if you do, that's just not right. I mean you barely knew the guy. All you knew about him was from afar or whatever you see on his myspace page.

I don't know if you were following my recent situation, but I myself thought that I had finally found the right person for me that I've been waiting for my whole life. And I felt this way because I actually got to know the girl. We talked so much in the past month and we've even hung out a few times this past week despite there being no school. She was everything I wanted and more. But as much as I'd like to think we were meant to be, it's just not that way, for many reasons that I can't control. I have more of a right to say that everything was taken from me since that's how it felt, like I was shown a happiness that I never knew before, and now it's all gone. And as if being "just friends" wasn't bad enough, now her ex suddenly comes back into the picture after several months of complete disappearance since their breakup, and now he's going all out asking for a second chance with her.

What I'm trying to say is that you didn't have everything taken away from you since you didn't have anything to begin with. It's a much worse feeling when you're actually with the person and they seem to be interested in you one day, but not the next. But either way, that's no reason to put your life on pause to sit and cry about it.

And another thing, you put so much "emotion" into just trying to get him, that you forgot the really hard part, which is keeping the relationship after you start it. You're barely keeping yourself together just by looking at him, you'd be a wreck if he actually started talking to you.

Everything happens for a reason. Don't completely focus on being happy at the moment because then you end up doing things that make you even less happier in the future. You suffer today so you can test your strength and faith for tomorrow. You also learn things from every experience you have. And if you don't, well then you have to go through it again until you finally learn.

[Angel_Faerie]

I started reading but stopped after reading this. How exactly did you feel like you found everything you wanted? Do you mean in him? Because if you do, that's just not right. I mean you barely knew the guy. All you knew about him was from afar or whatever you see on his myspace page.

I don't know if you were following my recent situation, but I myself thought that I had finally found the right person for me that I've been waiting for my whole life. And I felt this way because I actually got to know the girl. We talked so much in the past month and we've even hung out a few times this past week despite there being no school. She was everything I wanted and more. But as much as I'd like to think we were meant to be, it's just not that way, for many reasons that I can't control. I have more of a right to say that everything was taken from me since that's how it felt, like I was shown a happiness that I never knew before, and now it's all gone. And as if being "just friends" wasn't bad enough, now her ex suddenly comes back into the picture after several months of complete disappearance since their breakup, and now he's going all out asking for a second chance with her.

What I'm trying to say is that you didn't have everything taken away from you since you didn't have anything to begin with. It's a much worse feeling when you're actually with the person and they seem to be interested in you one day, but not the next. But either way, that's no reason to put your life on pause to sit and cry about it.

And another thing, you put so much "emotion" into just trying to get him, that you forgot the really hard part, which is keeping the relationship after you start it. You're barely keeping yourself together just by looking at him, you'd be a wreck if he actually started talking to you.

Everything happens for a reason. Don't completely focus on being happy at the moment because then you end up doing things that make you even less happier in the future. You suffer today so you can test your strength and faith for tomorrow. You also learn things from every experience you have. And if you don't, well then you have to go through it again until you finally learn.

Yes, I meant in him. I actually exchanged Myspace messages with him a couple times, in which we told each other things about ourselves. We have several things in common, but we differ in areas as well. That's when I honestly started thinking he was the one for me.

I'm sorry about your problem. I know how it feels. I've always been the "just friends" girl and it really bothers me.

I don't want to put my life on pause and cry all the time, but I need to at least let the sadness I'm feeling run its course.

I know I learned something from this, but it may take me a while to be able to think straight to be able to figure out what.

[amazingfantasy15]

You may be right. If I had just gotten over him to begin with, I wouldn't be here now. But I was stupid and afraid that if I DID get over him that it'd turn out that he liked me but I wouldn't care because I was over him. If he had said what he did in the first place it would have been a whole lot easier. It would have still hurt, but probably not as much because I wouldn't have spent as much time trying to figure out what he thought.

I can't figure out what the point is. Maybe someday I will.

You don't honestly expect me to get over it right away, do you? It just happened yesterday. And sure there are people going through worse out there, and I feel sorry for them. And my reasons for being unhappy are valid, or at least feel that way to me. I'll probably look back on this years from now and say they weren't, but for right now, I think they are.

The bolded part is where you're problem is/was. He tried to be subtle about not liking you that way right off the bat saying he wouldn't go to the dance with you because he lived 15 minutes away. It was over at that point, everyone tried to tell you know that, but you never listened. It sucks right now because you don't want to let go and aren't letting go, it only stops hurting when you actually let go. Trust what everyone's been saying, things will get better, but you've first got to let go. Everyone's had that crush that didn't work out and that's really all this was, a crush. Move past it, find something that makes you feel good and indulge in that, hell get a dart board, print out this guy's picture and throw darts at the picture if you need to, you just need to exorcise this crush from your body some how.

[Erzengel]

^
Exactly.

:up:

[DoomRulz]

I know it isn't the end of the world, but it sure feels like it. What was the point of all of this? What was he point of feeling like I had finally found everything I wanted and then having it ripped away from me? Strength? I was already strong to begin with. To become jaded? Well, if that was the point, it worked. I am now very cynical. And, by the way, Panic! At The Disco is a great band.

I'm starting to wonder why I should even bother trying to move on with my life. I'll just end up hurt again and again and again. My life has been almost nothing but pain and heartache all year long and I'm sick of it. I want to be happy, damn it! But it seems like there's no such thing as happiness for me anymore.

Girl, let me give you some advice: Don't ever make someone you're everything b/c when you lose them, you lose everything.

If you want my advice, I say take a break from love. Timing is everything in life, especially in love. Maybe you just aren't ready for a boyfriend yet. Take some time off and get to know yourself better before getting to know someone else. As the age old saying goes: you can't help someone else until you help yourself.

[Cunning Stunts]

The bolded part is where you're problem is/was. He tried to be subtle about not liking you that way right off the bat saying he wouldn't go to the dance with you because he lived 15 minutes away. It was over at that point, everyone tried to tell you know that, but you never listened. It sucks right now because you don't want to let go and aren't letting go, it only stops hurting when you actually let go. Trust what everyone's been saying, things will get better, but you've first got to let go. Everyone's had that crush that didn't work out and that's really all this was, a crush. Move past it, find something that makes you feel good and indulge in that, hell get a dart board, print out this guy's picture and throw darts at the picture if you need to, you just need to exorcise this crush from your body some how.

I agree 100% :up:. Sadly, I think I said that a number of times, but she doesn't listen. I think she comes here looking for verification, pity, and babying- and when she doesn't get it from another user, she completely ignores his or her post.

She's starting to remind me those people that put themselves in bad situations simply to create drama around their lives, and to get sympathy from other people. I've got news for anyone who does that, it may work with overly-sympathetic, but you're not going to get a relationship out of it. I think I can speak for other guys when I say we cannot stand whining, crying, pitiful girls.

[Erzengel]

I'm a post away from really verbally coming down on her. While I feel for her, but this whole "he was my everything, broken, my hopes and dreams" bullsh't has really got to stop.

[Gilpesh]

I'm a post away from really verbally coming down on her. While I feel for her, but this whole "he was my everything, broken, my hopes and dreams" bullsh't has really got to stop.

Hey! Don't take my job as professor of cynicism. :oldrazz:

[Superman79]

I'm a post away from really verbally coming down on her. While I feel for her, but this whole "he was my everything, broken, my hopes and dreams" bullsh't has really got to stop.

Agreed. Hence why I am not posting advice for AF, as it would just turn into a lecture.

Hey! Don't take my job as professor of cynicism. :oldrazz:

LOL.
Not cynicism, frustration :o

[Angel_Faerie]

I know I'm being melodramatic and whiny. I'm sorry. It's just part of who I am. Ever since I was about 4 or 5 I've been called "Drama Queen" by my family members. I don't like that aspect of myself, but I don't really know how to change it. It doesn't really help that my mind's all foggy from being sick. It sounds like an excuse, but it's not. I'm starting to feel better, and my mind's starting to clear up, so expect less drama from me.

Additionally, I'm starting to get over him. It's not going to be easy (no one said it would be), and it's going to take some time, but I'm working on it.

[Chris B]

I need some advice again that sorta relates to my question I asked earlier. But this time I have a story to go along with it. In one of my classes, there is a girl who I think may be interested. Basicly, the last few classes, I have caught this girl looking at me as she walks by.

Granted, I realize that a girl simply looking at you doesn't necessarily mean anything. And the fact that we sit at opposite ends of the room and have never spoken to one another could be an indicator that. But the fact that this has been happening in a condensed time frame makes me wonder if there is something to it because it doesn't seem to be random. So my question is, how can I approach this girl?

[Gilpesh]

LOL.
Not cynicism, frustration :o

Oh, I only minored in that. But I probably have enough experience to cover the class.:oldrazz:

[Erzengel]

I need some advice again that sorta relates to my question I asked earlier. But this time I have a story to go along with it. In one of my classes, there is a girl who I think may be interested. Basicly, the last few classes, I have caught this girl looking at me as she walks by.

Granted, I realize that a girl simply looking at you doesn't necessarily mean anything. And the fact that we sit at opposite ends of the room and have never spoken to one another could be an indicator that. But the fact that this has been happening in a condensed time frame makes me wonder if there is something to it because it doesn't seem to be random. So my question is, how can I approach this girl?
Since you have classes together, a good ice breaker would be something about class or since you see each other almost everyday, just a "hi" to start off. Then an easy, "wow that test was tough." statement.

[Superman79]

I need some advice again that sorta relates to my question I asked earlier. But this time I have a story to go along with it. In one of my classes, there is a girl who I think may be interested. Basicly, the last few classes, I have caught this girl looking at me as she walks by.

Granted, I realize that a girl simply looking at you doesn't necessarily mean anything. And the fact that we sit at opposite ends of the room and have never spoken to one another could be an indicator that. But the fact that this has been happening in a condensed time frame makes me wonder if there is something to it because it doesn't seem to be random. So my question is, how can I approach this girl?

First, make sure she's not just looking at you because you have a boog in your nose, or some schmaltz on your face.

Then do exactly as Erz said. Start a conversation on a shared subjecct (class/test/teacher/etc) and gauge her overall reaction from the conversation.

[Erzengel]

I'm really concerned about my success rate people. It's very disheartening. To use S79's analogy of us being professors, it's like we are preparing people for occupations in the fields of medicine, law or engineering and then them flunking out. :(

[Superman79]

I too am disappointed, but really, we can only teach, tutor, and hope to inspire them...hoping the lessons seek in and are applied...unfortunately we can't take the tests for them :csad:

Someone needs to succeed...or we may just have to destroy this thread...:csad:

[amazingfantasy15]

Well, the people that use our advice are running into the problem of the other person not being interested, like the case of Angel Farie, who originally followed the advice and asked the guy out, then started ignoring the advice. Spideyville, just hit a snag of catching the girl too soon after a breakup.

Many of the others completely ignored the advice though or acted on it too late.