*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Angel_Faerie]

:whatever:

Fine. Jokes aren't kosher in the relationship thread. :p

I knew you were joking. :oldrazz: But it made me think of guys drooling over lesbains. I just don't get why they do. Us girls rarely drool over guy on guy action.

[Nightmare]

Its hard to describe. Probably cause most guys fantasy's have to do being in a 3 way.

[Erzengel]

I knew you were joking. :oldrazz: But it made me think of guys drooling over lesbains. I just don't get why they do. Us girls rarely drool over guy on guy action.
Well first let me state off, that it probably has to be attractive lesbians. Movie lesbians not real life lesbians.

And I've known some women who get off on guy on guy stuff.

[Angel_Faerie]

Its hard to describe. Probably cause most guys fantasy's have to do being in a 3 way.

3 ways sound kind of nasty. What logical girl would want two in her at the same time? Talk about ouch.

[Rando Aces]

3 ways sound kind of nasty. What logical girl would want two in her at the same time? Talk about ouch.
or 1 guy 2 girls...

[Erzengel]

One day you will take your first step into a larger world. Right now let's not shatter those ideals of yours.

[Nightmare]

or 1 guy 2 girls...


or 2 girls 1 cup.....

[Rando Aces]

or 2 girls 1 cup.....
mmm...

OH GOD WAIT!!!!! OH GOD!

[Angel_Faerie]

One day you will take your first step into a larger world. Right now let's not shatter those ideals of yours.

I've heard worse things. Some of which I don't understand and won't until I do it.

[Nightmare]

mmm...

OH GOD WAIT!!!!! OH GOD!

:hehe:

[Angel_Faerie]

or 2 girls 1 cup.....

The horror....the horror....

[Gilpesh]

I've heard worse things. Some of which I don't understand and won't until I do it.

:eek:

[Angel_Faerie]

What's so shocking? I'm a virgin. It's to be expected that I won't understand some of the things I've heard in my life until I have sex someday.

[Gilpesh]

That's no fun when you explain it.

Sounded funnier when it was assumed to be about threesomes and lesbians.

[Angel_Faerie]

I'm not experimenting with those things. I'm only planning to have sex with one person in my life, and that's the man I marry (hopefully, if I even meet him) .

[Gilpesh]

Stop ruining the jokes lady.

:oldrazz:

[Rando Aces]

Stop ruining the jokes lady.

:oldrazz:
damn women.

:woot:

[Angel_Faerie]

You guys are jerks. :oldrazz:

[Magneto29]

Its hard to describe. Probably cause most guys fantasy's have to do being in a 3 way.

That's the explanation that a guy gave me once for it.
But it really doesn't work the other way around, cause gay guys in a 3 way with a girl just isn't an attractive idea...

[Gilpesh]

You guys are jerks. :oldrazz:

I just like having fun and making jokes... if that's a jerk nowadays... oh well. :grin:

[Angel_Faerie]

I just like having fun and making jokes... if that's a jerk nowadays... oh well. :grin:

You guys are just flirting with me is all it is. :oldrazz:

[The Battousai]

You guys are just flirting with me is all it is. :oldrazz:

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w160/backtothefront88/word%20pics/jokerinterroroom.jpg








http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w160/backtothefront88/word%20pics/dotell.jpg

[Gilpesh]

You guys are just flirting with me is all it is. :oldrazz:

Trust me... if I was flirting, I'd be drunk and you'd be pissed off. :whatever:

[Erzengel]

That's the explanation that a guy gave me once for it.
But it really doesn't work the other way around, cause gay guys in a 3 way with a girl just isn't an attractive idea...

A 3 way doesn't necessarily mean that 2 opposite sex members have to be gay. There could be a no touching rule.

[Gilpesh]

A 3 way doesn't necessarily mean that 2 opposite sex members have to be gay. There could be a no touching rule.

Right. But there is also the awesome ones where they do. :hehe:

[Angel_Faerie]

Trust me... if I was flirting, I'd be drunk and you'd be pissed off. :whatever:

I can believe that. :hehe: You're 5 years older than me.

[Rando Aces]

You guys are just flirting with me is all it is. :oldrazz:
why would i wanna flirt? you could be 3,000 pounds for all i know :cwink::woot:

[Angel_Faerie]

why would i wanna flirt? you could be 3,000 pounds for all i know :cwink::woot:

:hehe:

[Gilpesh]

I can believe that. :hehe: You're 5 years older than me.

Don't worry. Every guy at my age is a drunk.

[Nirvana]

So I'm not really asking for advice on this matter, but I thought it was interesting enough to post but didn't deserve it's own thread. So any ways..

Yesterday I went to a friend's graduation party in a town about a good two hours from where I live. I head over not having seen my friend in awhile and I had a pretty good time catching up. Now, my friend (We'll call her Jessie B) has this friend (We'll call her Jessie H). Now Jessie H is a really cool girl, a bit older than me (she's 21), and she is super flirt-y. Two years ago when I use to head over there a lot me and her would flirt all the time and we were always all over each other...holding hands, grabbing asses, little **** like that. Here's the catch...at the time (two years ago) she was engaged! In fact, less than a year and a half ago I went to her wedding and she moved to Ohio. So it was a big surprise for me to see her at the party. I started to catch up with her and she tells me her husband cheated on her and they are now divorced. She was pretty upset about it and she says she is having an emotionally hard time about it.

So then later her and I are catching up and we ended up laying in a bed with another friend of mine, this other girl, and my sister. We were taking pictures and stuff just fooling around. Now Jessie H starts texting me saying I'm sexy and stuff, so we're flirting back and forth which is pretty common between us. So we're laying in bed and we took a pic together and I leaned in and kissed her. She was kind of surprised about it and laughed saying she wasn't expecting that. So later we decide to go to the movies and she texts me telling me to sit next to her. So in the theater she reaches over and starts holding my hand. A few times she'd give me that "kiss me" look and me being completely oblivious didn't catch it the first couple of times (god damn you Harrison Ford for distracting me! :cmad:). By the time I finally did catch it I leaned in and we started to make out there in the theater. She would occasionally reach over and start rubbing my crotch area. After the movie we all said our goodbyes and left.

I guess the thing that really made this story interesting was that she was a 21 year old divorced woman who is a bit emotionally unstable. She even said herself that she doesn't think she's totally emotionally okay yet. So like when we made out I kind of felt bad about it. Like I was taking advantage of her but at the same time I'm not sure if I should think anything of it given her flirt-y nature and our past history. My friend, sister, older brother and I said we'll make another trip over to that town in about two weeks so I think we'll see what happens then. I just thought it was a pretty interesting story that I thought I would share. :dry:

[Erzengel]

Dating/Hooking Up with a crazy broad is a right of passage of each man. You know you made it when you wake up and she's sitting up staring at you. :up:

[Nirvana]

Dating/Hooking Up with a crazy broad is a right of passage of each man. You know you made it when you wake up and she's sitting up staring at you. :up:

Not to sound cocky, but I have a very strong feeling that something along those lines might happen when I make the trip over there in two weeks. Ha! She is a bit taller than me, too.

[Superman79]

I guess the thing that really made this story interesting was that she was a 21 year old divorced woman who is a bit emotionally unstable. She even said herself that she doesn't think she's totally emotionally okay yet. So like when we made out I kind of felt bad about it. Like I was taking advantage of her but at the same time I'm not sure if I should think anything of it given her flirt-y nature and our past history. My friend, sister, older brother and I said we'll make another trip over to that town in about two weeks so I think we'll see what happens then. I just thought it was a pretty interesting story that I thought I would share. :dry:

I'm with Erz here, sometimes you just need to stick your toe in the crazy pool.

That said, she sounds like she's initiating most of it, and as one would think she's old enough to make these decisions (to hit on you and such) on her own then you shouldn't feel guilty. That and often, meaningless sex/fooling around (a la without a commitment) can help the healing process.

That said, jump on that pony and ride my friend. :up:

[November Rain]

have fun taking a leap into the lake of wrong....

just make sure you don't drown....but have fun with de SCUBA

http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x30/nyski13/Claude-3.jpg

(if anyone gets the reference, i'll be pleasantly amazed)

[Gilpesh]

America's Sweethearts?


Oh wait... Along Came Polly?

[November Rain]

*pleasantly amazed*

[Gilpesh]

*pleasantly amazed*

The only problem was... he plays the exact same role in both movies. :wow:

[amazingfantasy15]

So I'm not really asking for advice on this matter, but I thought it was interesting enough to post but didn't deserve it's own thread. So any ways..

Yesterday I went to a friend's graduation party in a town about a good two hours from where I live. I head over not having seen my friend in awhile and I had a pretty good time catching up. Now, my friend (We'll call her Jessie B) has this friend (We'll call her Jessie H). Now Jessie H is a really cool girl, a bit older than me (she's 21), and she is super flirt-y. Two years ago when I use to head over there a lot me and her would flirt all the time and we were always all over each other...holding hands, grabbing asses, little **** like that. Here's the catch...at the time (two years ago) she was engaged! In fact, less than a year and a half ago I went to her wedding and she moved to Ohio. So it was a big surprise for me to see her at the party. I started to catch up with her and she tells me her husband cheated on her and they are now divorced. She was pretty upset about it and she says she is having an emotionally hard time about it.

So then later her and I are catching up and we ended up laying in a bed with another friend of mine, this other girl, and my sister. We were taking pictures and stuff just fooling around. Now Jessie H starts texting me saying I'm sexy and stuff, so we're flirting back and forth which is pretty common between us. So we're laying in bed and we took a pic together and I leaned in and kissed her. She was kind of surprised about it and laughed saying she wasn't expecting that. So later we decide to go to the movies and she texts me telling me to sit next to her. So in the theater she reaches over and starts holding my hand. A few times she'd give me that "kiss me" look and me being completely oblivious didn't catch it the first couple of times (god damn you Harrison Ford for distracting me! :cmad:). By the time I finally did catch it I leaned in and we started to make out there in the theater. She would occasionally reach over and start rubbing my crotch area. After the movie we all said our goodbyes and left.

I guess the thing that really made this story interesting was that she was a 21 year old divorced woman who is a bit emotionally unstable. She even said herself that she doesn't think she's totally emotionally okay yet. So like when we made out I kind of felt bad about it. Like I was taking advantage of her but at the same time I'm not sure if I should think anything of it given her flirt-y nature and our past history. My friend, sister, older brother and I said we'll make another trip over to that town in about two weeks so I think we'll see what happens then. I just thought it was a pretty interesting story that I thought I would share. :dry:

Congrats man, sounds like you're getting some rebound action.

[Nirvana]

I'm with Erz here, sometimes you just need to stick your toe in the crazy pool.

That said, she sounds like she's initiating most of it, and as one would think she's old enough to make these decisions (to hit on you and such) on her own then you shouldn't feel guilty. That and often, meaningless sex/fooling around (a la without a commitment) can help the healing process.

That said, jump on that pony and ride my friend. :up:

I thought about that, too. I mean I've known this girl for about a good four years now and we've always been all over each other, even two years later when she was engaged. I'm not looking to get into any relationship right now (I just got out of one) but if a situation occurs I'm all game. :woot:

Congrats man, sounds like you're getting some rebound action.

Haha, not sure if that's good or bad :dry:

[IDrawDeadPeople]

Nirvana- if you choose to get back on the Karma-carousel that this 'relationship' is, have fun trying to untangle the knots in your emotional life 10 years from now... if you are not floating in a bog or something.

She 'cheated' on her then-fiance (no intercourse means nothing... feeling her @$$ and holding hands while petting each other is crossing the marital-faithfulness boundary)... and then she is somehow shocked and disgusted to the point of divorce when her now-husband is unfaithful. Genius.

And, now... the good idea is to engage in any level of relations with this woman and hope that your rabbit doesn't end up boiled?

Don't be shocked if she isn't actually divorced.

Or, if she never got married in the first place.

Or, you find out that she's a demonic succubus whose only role in existence is to seduce your soul into hell.

And, just remember... if she is on the (so obviously needed) medication it would require for a nut like this to even attempt social interaction with other human beings... any 'consentual' sex can easilly be turned into rape charges if she changes her mind about you and decides you took advantage of her prescription to ritalin/paxil/whatever. :wow:

Um... good luck. Try not to die. Or go to jail.

Although, if you're looking for loveless, non-commital sex... jail might be a great place to spice up your black book. :oldrazz:

[StrainedEyes]

have fun taking a leap into the lake of wrong....

just make sure you don't drown....but have fun with de SCUBA

http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x30/nyski13/Claude-3.jpg

(if anyone gets the reference, i'll be pleasantly amazed)

There's a commentary on a Simpsons episode, I forget which one, where John Lovits and Hank were part of the commentary and they go on for awhile talking about Along Came Polly and Hank's abs. Good times, good times.

[Erzengel]

Geez, IDDP, just let an 18 year old get laid. :huh:

[amazingfantasy15]

Geez, IDDP, just let an 18 year old get laid. :huh:

Yeah, what's that guys problem, it's just some simple rebound action.

[IDrawDeadPeople]

My God... I was kidding.

I know half you kids need to jump at whatever skank action you can. :yay:


It beats lying on the bathroom floor while your mom is knocking on the door asking for the laundry. :whatever:

[Gilpesh]

Yeah, what's that guys problem, it's just some simple rebound action.

I think he took my cynical pills.

[Erzengel]

My God... I was kidding.

I know half you kids need to jump at whatever skank action you can. :yay:


It beats lying on the bathroom floor while your mom is knocking on the door asking for the laundry. :whatever:

Well it did sound like a moral high horse diatribe or a speaking from experience jaded view. :huh:

[IDrawDeadPeople]

Well it did sound like a moral high horse diatribe or a speaking from experience jaded view. :huh:


Yeah... But, now, it's my wife knocking on the bathroom door. :whatever:


If by high horse, you mean "giving advice", I suppose this thread has a faulty title. Or, if you meant I should encourage screwing a nutjob who has no idea how to manage a relationship... well... this thread still has a faulty title.

Emotional entanglement with a psycho that could last for years in exchange for what will be 15-20 minutes of bliss... go for it, kid!

[Erzengel]

He's 18, and she's 21.

Yeah there's a possibility that he can come home to her cutting herself in his bedroom with what's left of his dog on her head, but often times than not, after some aggravating phone calls, showing up where he is, (worst case in my opinion), I highly doubt there is going to be some irrevocable damage that's going to jade him.

Besides the crazy ones are always better in bed. :up:

[IDrawDeadPeople]

You worded it exactly how I was picturing it. See? We're on the same page... :oldrazz:

[IDrawDeadPeople]

In all seriousness... my only 'advice' would be this: Consider the level of chance there might be to actually fall for this girl... whether in love or just getting emotionally attached enough to risk being hurt if the relatioship ends...

And then weigh that against the fact that six months from now - we might all be here giving 'advice' about how she could possibly have been unfaithful and non-commital in a relationship.

That's the true sucky possibility.


Well... that, and she might be a psycho who hurts your dog and gets you fired.

[Nirvana]

Nirvana- if you choose to get back on the Karma-carousel that this 'relationship' is, have fun trying to untangle the knots in your emotional life 10 years from now... if you are not floating in a bog or something.

She 'cheated' on her then-fiance (no intercourse means nothing... feeling her @$$ and holding hands while petting each other is crossing the marital-faithfulness boundary)... and then she is somehow shocked and disgusted to the point of divorce when her now-husband is unfaithful. Genius.

And, now... the good idea is to engage in any level of relations with this woman and hope that your rabbit doesn't end up boiled?

Don't be shocked if she isn't actually divorced.

Or, if she never got married in the first place.

Or, you find out that she's a demonic succubus whose only role in existence is to seduce your soul into hell.

And, just remember... if she is on the (so obviously needed) medication it would require for a nut like this to even attempt social interaction with other human beings... any 'consentual' sex can easilly be turned into rape charges if she changes her mind about you and decides you took advantage of her prescription to ritalin/paxil/whatever. :wow:

Um... good luck. Try not to die. Or go to jail.

Although, if you're looking for loveless, non-commital sex... jail might be a great place to spice up your black book. :oldrazz:

I LoLed at this, then I looked further and read that you were joking. I do have to point out though, that I did specifically said I went to her wedding. :o

He's 18, and she's 21.

Yeah there's a possibility that he can come home to her cutting herself in his bedroom with what's left of his dog on her head, but often times than not, after some aggravating phone calls, showing up where he is, (worst case in my opinion), I highly doubt there is going to be some irrevocable damage that's going to jade him.

Besides the crazy ones are always better in bed. :up:

She's flirty, but I don't think she's crazy, at least not yet. Not crazy enough to kill my dog or eat my toenail clippings off the floor or anything else obsessive. I've had my share fare of ladies and so far Jessie H isn't coming off as crazy (not like my ex at least). I mean she just went through a divorce and she's not okay about it, so she seems to be rebounding. I just happen to be at the right party at the right time. Plus it's not like I just met her, we've been friends for awhile and she never was crazy.

I'll tell you what, I'll update you guys on what happens in two weeks and if she turns out to be a total psycho *****, I'll say (and you can quote me on this) "You were right IDrawDeadPeople".

[Erzengel]

He's 18, she's 21.

They live 2 hours apart.

Even if there are some strong emotion, distance especially at that age, most of the time ends because of that.

And "emotionally not okay", I'm attributing to being hurt that her husband cheated on her, not something along the line of "paxil" related treatment.

Edit: Just saw Nirvana's post, see not crazy, or at least not yet.

She's obviously a flirtatious girl and like af15 said, on the rebound. Being 2 hours away, I think it's just going to be hookups or bedding. :up:

[IDrawDeadPeople]

Nah... no need.

I'm married and old and haven't had a whacktastic relationship in 15 years. This is how we learn things.

Good luck. Just remember what I said in my last last post before this one.

Don't get attached and then be confused if she's non-commital or cheats on you after knowing about her infidelity-fest leading up to this.

[Erzengel]

You never bedded a crazy? :csad:

[Nirvana]

He's 18, she's 21.

They live 2 hours apart.

Even if there are some strong emotion, distance especially at that age, most of the time ends because of that.

And "emotionally not okay", I'm attributing to being hurt that her husband cheated on her, not something along the line of "paxil" related treatment.

Edit: Just saw Nirvana's post, see not crazy, or at least not yet.

She's obviously a flirtatious girl and like af15 said, on the rebound. Being 2 hours away, I think it's just going to be hookups or bedding. :up:

I totally agree on this matter.The distance is a huge factor, plus the age (not much, but still). Plus since her husband cheated I seriously doubt she is looking to get in a relationship so random hookups or bedding is fine with me :up:

Nah... no need.

I'm married and old and haven't had a whacktastic relationship in 15 years. This is how we learn things.

Good luck. Just remember what I said in my last last post before this one.

Don't get attached and then be confused if she's non-commital or cheats on you after knowing about her infidelity-fest leading up to this.

I'll keep that in mind. I doubt anything would happen along those lines (as far as me getting in a relationship with her) Like Erz was saying there is the distance, age and both our flirty natures to consider. Plus it wouldn't be the first time I hooked up/slept with someone without being emotionally attached to that person further than friendship. I think I'll be okay on this matter.

[Erzengel]

I listed the age for one thing, at 18, if you are going to have a girlfriend, choose one in like an hour's radius?

The long distance thing is taxing on people much older yet alone an 18 year old.

[Nirvana]

Haha, my last girlfriend lived five minutes down the road from me, that counts, right?

[CrashNburn]

five minutes is too close..lol

[LadyVader]

I have a friend...

Yes, I know how that sounds, but for real. This is not my situation, but rather my best friend's. She's studying abroad and she's real good friends with this guy. So good friends that apparentely everybody thinks they're actually a couple and other couples invite them to to couple-y things together. Like dinners, picnics, bowling sessions and whatnot, where everybody comes with his/her better half and my friend and her buddy are the only people not "officially" together.

Now my friend thinks she actually likes this guy (in a romantic way) but she's not sure if she *really* likes him or it's simply the result of peer pressure. Now me who scored a measily 96 on my emotional IQ tests :) advised her to simply talk to the guy and see what his feelings are and see if he wants to go on an official date just by themselves with no other people around to see if they work together, if they're on the same level or some other metaphor that deals with relationships.

She told that I'm the only one who gave her this advice because everybody else told her to wait it out and see what happens because if she says anything she might ruin everything. Basically, let the guy choose what relationship they should have. o_O which to me seems like a faulty strategy so I ask you. Should she have a talk with him or not? This has been going on for a couple of months by the way.

[Gilpesh]

Just tell her to man up and grow a pair of ovaries and tell the guy.

[Angel_Faerie]

How did I get myself in this situation? Dammit. I promised myself no more crushes for a while. But I guess it's unavoidable. I have begun to like a boy in my summer school class (not the one who was staring at me the first day). He and I talked a bunch the first week or two, and he and I share some traits. He has a temper, so do I. He likes Futurama, so do I. I know that's not a lot, but whatever. My teacher moved me to a different desk, and now I can't talk to him because he's across the room. I don't even know if I'm going to do anything about this. It probably would only lead to rejection and heartache, which I've had more than enough of. I don't want to always wonder "what if?", but I can't take lying on the floor crying and broken again.

[Magneto29]

If you go in expecting heartbreak, it will happen...

[Angel_Faerie]

It's not just heartbreak I fear. I also am very afraid he'll say no if I ask him out. I don't take rejection well.

[Magneto29]

Don't ask him out then. Maybe just talk to him whenever you can. The more comfortable you get with that, the more likely he'll be willing to do something about it.

[omid17]

It's not just heartbreak I fear. I also am very afraid he'll say no if I ask him out. I don't take rejection well.you should be patient, and if he likes you to, he'll ask you out

[Angel_Faerie]

There's not very many more chances for him and me to talk. Summer school ends on Wendesday.

[Gilpesh]

It's not just heartbreak I fear. I also am very afraid he'll say no if I ask him out. I don't take rejection well.

Oh god, don't do that. You got to start off slow if you want to really see if this is something. Like hanging out with a bunch of friends or at something outside of school where it's more a group thing and not just you and him. Then see where it goes from there.

[omid17]

There's not very many more chances for him and me to talk. Summer school ends on Wendesday.not to be an a-hole, but if he doesn't say anything by Wendesday, than he's probably not interested

[Angel_Faerie]

He hasn't talked to me at all since the teacher moved me from where I sat (next to him in the front of the room) to where I am now (in the back of the room). So my hopes are very very low that something's going to happen before Wednesday.

[omid17]

He hasn't talked to me at all since the teacher moved me from where I sat (next to him in the front of the room) to where I am now (in the back of the room). So my hopes are very very low that something's going to happen before Wednesday. Than he's probably not interested imo, but try talking to him after class if you can

[Angel_Faerie]

I guess that's worth a shot.

[omid17]

I guess that's worth a shot.go for it :up:

[Angel_Faerie]

I'm not sure what he and I will talk about, but I'll think of something.

[omid17]

I'm not sure what he and I will talk about, but I'll think of something.that's pretty much the same problem i have with a girl i like

[Erzengel]

I have a friend...

Yes, I know how that sounds, but for real. This is not my situation, but rather my best friend's. She's studying abroad and she's real good friends with this guy. So good friends that apparentely everybody thinks they're actually a couple and other couples invite them to to couple-y things together. Like dinners, picnics, bowling sessions and whatnot, where everybody comes with his/her better half and my friend and her buddy are the only people not "officially" together.

Now my friend thinks she actually likes this guy (in a romantic way) but she's not sure if she *really* likes him or it's simply the result of peer pressure. Now me who scored a measily 96 on my emotional IQ tests :) advised her to simply talk to the guy and see what his feelings are and see if he wants to go on an official date just by themselves with no other people around to see if they work together, if they're on the same level or some other metaphor that deals with relationships.

She told that I'm the only one who gave her this advice because everybody else told her to wait it out and see what happens because if she says anything she might ruin everything. Basically, let the guy choose what relationship they should have. o_O which to me seems like a faulty strategy so I ask you. Should she have a talk with him or not? This has been going on for a couple of months by the way.

Communication is always the top 3 in any relationship.

She should try talking to this guy, and try going on "A" date first and see how it goes from there. There's no rule that says they have to be a couple right away, regardless how long they've done "couply" things.

Even with strangers, you kinda know if someone is right for you or even compatible after a few dates.

[IDrawDeadPeople]

One last for Nirvana-

I wasn't too serious about the psycho thing. Just you were part of her cheating... so I meant, in general, it's sad when people (usually younger girls, tho) say crap like "This is true love... he's leaving his girlfriend for me! We'll be together forever!"... and then forget that they were an 'on the side' hook up.

From what you say on here, I know you're more stable than that... however, sometimes sex does dumb things to the best of people.


Now, on to more serious matters... 2 hour distance?

How can you afford to take her out AND pay for $8/gallon gas? You must be rich. :woot:

That in itself is a good failsafe device for possible feelings to be immediately squashed.

[Nirvana]

One last for Nirvana-

I wasn't too serious about the psycho thing. Just you were part of her cheating... so I meant, in general, it's sad when people (usually younger girls, tho) say crap like "This is true love... he's leaving his girlfriend for me! We'll be together forever!"... and then forget that they were an 'on the side' hook up.

From what you say on here, I know you're more stable than that... however, sometimes sex does dumb things to the best of people.


Now, on to more serious matters... 2 hour distance?

How can you afford to take her out AND pay for $8/gallon gas? You must be rich. :woot:

That in itself is a good failsafe device for possible feelings to be immediately squashed.

I never thought that I was part of her cheating, but in a sense you could be right. Or at least, I was a factor. As for stability, I think with my big head not my little one :yay:

As for the two hour distance, I'm a broke college kid, ha! And when we go I'll get my brother or friend to drive thus saving me gas :woot:

[Schlosser85]

Well my situation with my ex I posted in here a little bit ago has gotten even more confusing. To set the scene, he used to claim he was bi before he accepted he was gay, and (years ago), he had a girlfriend whom he was even engaged to, but they ended up breaking up because he couldn't get an erection when they tried to do anything and basically realized he was gay and they couldn't have an intimate relationship. Since then he had four boyfriends, three of them he was intimate with. The whole year and a half I was with him he was repulsed by female nudity in movies, like would practically cover his eyes. Well now that we're broken up he is supposedly bi again and has a girlfriend. I've been told by a friend they don't do anything sexual because they're "waiting for marriage"...which sounds like a convenient way to avoid her finding out that he can't function sexually with a woman. I just really hope he didn't break it up because of some weird "trying not to be gay" thing he seems to have going on. And his best friend completely agrees about this, so it's not just me being biased against his new relationship. I hate that we're not together anymore every day since and it's been almost two months now, but I would hate even more if he is ending relationships and messing up his and other people's lives trying to be something he's not.

[Nirvana]

So I found out something really interesting about my Jessie H story...See, I never actually knew she was 21, I just assumed she was since she made a reference at the party that she would buy me beer. So I'm talking to her on the phone today and we're talking and I jokingly asked when she'll buy me beer and she said "June 21st of 09" and I was like "whoa, back up...you're nineteen going on 20?" and she asked how old I was and I told her my nineteenth birthday is July 7th. So in reality, she is only a year and a couple weeks older than me. Not as bad as I thought. So I told her "I don't feel as bad now about what happened in the theater" and she told me I shouldn't and that "I'd let you do it again if you wanted to go further". Haha, very interesting...

[IDrawDeadPeople]

So I found out something really interesting about my Jessie H story...See, I never actually knew she was 21, I just assumed she was since she made a reference at the party that she would buy me beer. So I'm talking to her on the phone today and we're talking and I jokingly asked when she'll buy me beer and she said "June 21st of 09" and I was like "whoa, back up...you're nineteen going on 20?" and she asked how old I was and I told her my nineteenth birthday is July 7th. So in reality, she is only a year and a couple weeks older than me. Not as bad as I thought. So I told her "I don't feel as bad now about what happened in the theater" and she told me I shouldn't and that "I'd let you do it again if you wanted to go further". Haha, very interesting...


No... it's WORSE than you thought!!!


This chick was DIVORCED AT 19! :wow:

And she was married for over a year!?!

You failed to mention that this story took place in Tennessee. :hehe:



I was already considering adapting this whole scenario for a Slave Labor comic, but now I'll wait til I see what you look like when you all end up on Jerry Springer.

[Erzengel]

So I found out something really interesting about my Jessie H story...See, I never actually knew she was 21, I just assumed she was since she made a reference at the party that she would buy me beer. So I'm talking to her on the phone today and we're talking and I jokingly asked when she'll buy me beer and she said "June 21st of 09" and I was like "whoa, back up...you're nineteen going on 20?" and she asked how old I was and I told her my nineteenth birthday is July 7th. So in reality, she is only a year and a couple weeks older than me. Not as bad as I thought. So I told her "I don't feel as bad now about what happened in the theater" and she told me I shouldn't and that "I'd let you do it again if you wanted to go further". Haha, very interesting...
Dude even if she was 24 you shouldn't feel bad. :huh:

[amazingfantasy15]

No... it's WORSE than you thought!!!

This chick was DIVORCED AT 19! :wow:

And she was married for over a year!?!

You failed to mention that this story took place in Tennessee. :hehe:

I was already considering adapting this whole scenario for a Slave Labor comic, but now I'll wait til I see what you look like when you all end up on Jerry Springer.

Dude even if she was 24 you shouldn't feel bad. :huh:

I agree with both these, you shouldn't feel bad about the age difference. You should be weirded out by a girl being divorced at the age of 19. My advice "Get what you need, then broom her fast":gg:

[Erzengel]

How did I get myself in this situation? Dammit. I promised myself no more crushes for a while. But I guess it's unavoidable. I have begun to like a boy in my summer school class (not the one who was staring at me the first day). He and I talked a bunch the first week or two, and he and I share some traits. He has a temper, so do I. He likes Futurama, so do I. I know that's not a lot, but whatever. My teacher moved me to a different desk, and now I can't talk to him because he's across the room. I don't even know if I'm going to do anything about this. It probably would only lead to rejection and heartache, which I've had more than enough of. I don't want to always wonder "what if?", but I can't take lying on the floor crying and broken again.

Sweetheart, if you don't ever want to experience rejection and heartbreak, you might as well just close yourself out from the rest of the world.

Everyone has a story to tell about rejection and heartbreak. And while I know you are young and your hormones are all over the place, it doesn't get easier.

But you let those experiences, "toughen" you up, take away those "fairy taleish" fantasies you have and I hate to tell you a "high school crush" embarrassment is nothing compared to your first real breakup with someone.

[Magneto29]

Married and Divorced by age 19 ??? I'd watch out there... that's highly unusual.

[Erzengel]

I don't think he's thinking girlfriend material here.

[Nirvana]

No... it's WORSE than you thought!!!


This chick was DIVORCED AT 19! :wow:

And she was married for over a year!?!

You failed to mention that this story took place in Tennessee. :hehe:



I was already considering adapting this whole scenario for a Slave Labor comic, but now I'll wait til I see what you look like when you all end up on Jerry Springer.

Yeah I was pretty bewildered. I mean it is semi normal to get married at 18 but to be divorced a whole year and a half later? I reason I think it's better is because we're closer to the same age range. Oh, and this story takes place in FL, lol. They live in New Port Richy and I live in Lakeland.

Dude even if she was 24 you shouldn't feel bad. :huh:

:hehe:

I agree with both these, you shouldn't feel bad about the age difference. You should be weirded out by a girl being divorced at the age of 19. My advice "Get what you need, then broom her fast":gg:

I am kind of weirded out about it. Even though she's flirty in nature my brother tells me she is no **** (He keeps in contact with our friends in that town than I do). He did tell me, however that if I really wanted to I could probably get her. Haha, I love that Goblin quote.

[Erzengel]

Most of our advice is to try your luck with her. It doesn't seem like you want a long term relationship here so some other poster's words of caution shouldn't really apply.

[amazingfantasy15]

Most of our advice is to try your luck with her. It doesn't seem like you want a long term relationship here so some other poster's words of caution shouldn't really apply.

Yeah, seems more like a friends with benefits type situation, nothing wrong with that.

[Nirvana]

Most of our advice is to try your luck with her. It doesn't seem like you want a long term relationship here so some other poster's words of caution shouldn't really apply.

This post seems like the most appropriate way to end discuss of my situation. Like some posters said before just go for it. And I will. I'll update ya'll in two weeks.

[Angel_Faerie]

Sweetheart, if you don't ever want to experience rejection and heartbreak, you might as well just close yourself out from the rest of the world.

Everyone has a story to tell about rejection and heartbreak. And while I know you are young and your hormones are all over the place, it doesn't get easier.

But you let those experiences, "toughen" you up, take away those "fairy taleish" fantasies you have and I hate to tell you a "high school crush" embarrassment is nothing compared to your first real breakup with someone.

That's actually something I was considering. Locking my heart up and shutting everyone else out because I was sick of people breaking it. But I decided that was stupid. I am getting tired of having to repair it repeatedly, though.

I just outright hate being rejected by boys. It makes me question myself. Makes me wonder if I'm ugly or come off as a stupid emotional train wreck, which I admit, I can be at times. (Except the stupid part). It just hurts because it makes me feel like I must have something wrong with me since I'm rejected so much.

I don't know if the things I'm going through (with boys and otherwise) are toughening me up. I think they're just making me a harder and colder person. I'm becoming jaded and bitter. And I don't like it.

[Erzengel]

Welcome to high school. We've all been there.

And honestly every kid in high school, think they are this jaded, traveled individual because you liked someone and they were spurned.

Then you go to college, and you realize how silly you were in high school.

And when you are out of college, you realize how sill you were in college.

You see where I'm going with this.

[Angel_Faerie]

Welcome to high school. We've all been there.

And honestly every kid in high school thinks they are this jaded, traveled individual because you liked someone and they were spurned.

Then you go to college, and you realize how silly you were in high school.

And when you are out of college, you realize how silly you were in college.

You see where I'm going with this.

It wasn't just one person that spurned me, though. It's happened over and over and over since I was about 9 or 10. I've had a few times I wasn't rejected, but they were only elementary school relationships that didn't last long.

[Erzengel]

See: Welcome to High School

Replace "someone" with "several someones" and it still applicable.

[Gilpesh]

Welcome to high school. We've all been there.

And honestly every kid in high school, think they are this jaded, traveled individual because you liked someone and they were spurned.

Then you go to college, and you realize how silly you were in high school.

And when you are out of college, you realize how sill you were in college.

You see where I'm going with this.

And after college you can drink feelings away. :grin:

Legally.

[kainedamo]

It wasn't just one person that spurned me, though. It's happened over and over and over since I was about 9 or 10. I've had a few times I wasn't rejected, but they were only elementary school relationships that didn't last long.

You shouldn't be taking knock backs at that age so seriously. I didn't even have my first girlfriend till I was 17.

[SpideyVille]

Welcome to high school. We've all been there.

And honestly every kid in high school, think they are this jaded, traveled individual because you liked someone and they were spurned.

Then you go to college, and you realize how silly you were in high school.

And when you are out of college, you realize how sill you were in college.

You see where I'm going with this.
QFT :up:

Though to be fair, this is a lesson that is best learned through experience. No matter how many times a person tells you what to expect, you're not going to get the message until you finally learn it through experience and are able to take a step back and look at yourself from a third person POV. It isn't until then that you realize what everyone, or at least the truly insightful people who speak through experience, were saying for so long.

[Erzengel]

AF. For Prom my Senior year, I had to go through 5 girls before I essentially "begged" the granddaughter of my neighbor to go with me. In those 5 girls, there were 2 "No's", 2 I didn't officially ask because I found out they were already going with someone AND 1 "Yes that turned into I changed my mind."

High school ain't easy and I won't deny that but I also never had anyone telling me how trivial all that bs was when I was your age.

[Angel_Faerie]

You shouldn't be taking knock backs at that age so seriously. I didn't even have my first girlfriend till I was 17.

I don't take them that seriously, other than they just add to the number of times I've been rejected by boys in my life.

[Erzengel]

And I didn't have my first real girlfriend until college.

See AF, it feels it's more important to you to have a bf than it is of who the bf actually is.

[Angel_Faerie]

And I didn't have my first real girlfriend until college.

See AF, it feels it's more important to you to have a bf than it is of who the bf actually is.

Of course it matters who he is. It's not like I'd date some lazy schlub just so I'd have a boyfriend.

[Erzengel]

You seem to "fall" for any guy who smiles at you or even talks to you. :huh:

[Angel_Faerie]

You seem to "fall" for any guy who smiles at you or even talks to you. :huh:

I tend to start liking a guy once I get to know him, and if he and I have a lot in common, I grow interested. Sure I've liked a couple guys just from looking at them, but it's personality and compatibility that draws me in more often then not.

[amazingfantasy15]

It wasn't just one person that spurned me, though. It's happened over and over and over since I was about 9 or 10. I've had a few times I wasn't rejected, but they were only elementary school relationships that didn't last long.

It's normal to hear a lot more no's than yes's when asking someone out.

[Erzengel]

I tend to start liking a guy once I get to know him, and if he and I have a lot in common, I grow interested. Sure I've liked a couple guys just from looking at them, but it's personality and compatibility that draws me in more ofen then not.
Again, it sounds like to me, that you like any guy who takes the time to talk to you.

Regardless, if you get to know him. From every post you posted, a guy starts talking to you, and you learn some things about him and you just seem to like them off the bat.

Just how I see it.

[Ronny Shade]

Again, it sounds like to me, that you like any guy who takes the time to talk to you.

Regardless, if you get to know him. From every post you posted, a guy starts talking to you, and you learn some things about him and you just seem to like them off the bat.

Just how I see it.

I have the opposite problem. I like most people until I get to know them. Then I hate them.

[omid17]

Again, it sounds like to me, that you like any guy who takes the time to talk to you.

Regardless, if you get to know him. From every post you posted, a guy starts talking to you, and you learn some things about him and you just seem to like them off the bat.

Just how I see it.agreed

[Angel_Faerie]

Again, it sounds like to me, that you like any guy who takes the time to talk to you.

Regardless, if you get to know him. From every post you posted, a guy starts talking to you, and you learn some things about him and you just seem to like them off the bat.

Just how I see it.

Every once and a while it takes time for me to like someone, but usually it's like you say.

[Superman79]

That's actually something I was considering. Locking my heart up and shutting everyone else out because I was sick of people breaking it. But I decided that was stupid. I am getting tired of having to repair it repeatedly, though.

I just outright hate being rejected by boys. It makes me question myself. Makes me wonder if I'm ugly or come off as a stupid emotional train wreck, which I admit, I can be at times. (Except the stupid part). It just hurts because it makes me feel like I must have something wrong with me since I'm rejected so much.

I don't know if the things I'm going through (with boys and otherwise) are toughening me up. I think they're just making me a harder and colder person. I'm becoming jaded and bitter. And I don't like it.

You gotta relax. You keep acting like life is over when it hasn't even really begun for you. This perceived drama is no good for your mental and physical health.

And after college you can drink feelings away. :grin:

Legally.

:up: :D

See: Welcome to High School

Replace "someone" with "several someones" and it still applicable.

Damn right. :up:

It's normal to hear a lot more no's than yes's when asking someone out.

In baseball and in love, everyone strikes out 9 times out of 10. Why do you think it's such a big deal when someone gets an average over .400?? :p

[DoomRulz]

Welcome to high school. We've all been there.

And honestly every kid in high school, think they are this jaded, traveled individual because you liked someone and they were spurned.

Then you go to college, and you realize how silly you were in high school.

And when you are out of college, you realize how sill you were in college.

You see where I'm going with this.

Just to add to this: the chances of a high school relationship lasting into college or university are one in a million anyway due to the fact that you'll be meeting new people all the time. I've been there.

[BlackLantern]

I had to explain "The Index" to a friend of mine the other night....for those who don't know The Index runs from 1 to 10, where you are on that scale dictates your dating...

I am a 5, maybe a 6 when I get all dressed up, there for I should date no higher than a 7 and no lower than a 3....going past those standards increases the chances for failure in the relationship or date....

[DoomRulz]

How do you measure yourself?

[BlackLantern]

How do you measure yourself?

I have the uncanny ability to be totally honest with myself....but ask other people...try and be as fair as you can about it...

[Gilpesh]

The more women that tell you that you're a great guy, the lower you are on that scale. And if no woman has told you that, that still means you are low on the scale.

[Mac_Hine]

I had to explain "The Index" to a friend of mine the other night....for those who don't know The Index runs from 1 to 10, where you are on that scale dictates your dating...

I am a 5, maybe a 6 when I get all dressed up, there for I should date no higher than a 7 and no lower than a 3....going past those standards increases the chances for failure in the relationship or date....
What a bunch of baloney.

[LastSunrise1981]

A while back I mentioned about this girl I met at the credit union and how I began to like her. Just recently I asked her out to a movie and while our schedules conflict greatly, we've made specific plans to get together to see The Dark Knight on the 18th.

She's a huge Heath Ledger fan and I am a huge Batman fan, so I asked her out and she said yes. Don't think it's going to turn into anything serious as I met another girl at the gym the other day. :oldrazz:

[Erzengel]

Uh, play the field?

Date both until you know which one you "click" with more, or if you are so inclined date them both until it explodes in your face. :up:

[Eggyman]

Uh, play the field?

Date both until you know which one you "click" with more, or if you are so inclined date them both until it explodes in your face. :up:

Sound advice. Although, I did that very thing not so long ago and just couldn't make up my mind. They both had their pros and cons. I was stressed for a while until I realised that I was in a very good position of having to choose between two great girls.

It didn't explode in my face; a better option appeared. :oldrazz:

[Erzengel]

Well I brought that up because mainly he's already discounting the girl he's seeing Batman with because he met a girl at the gym. :huh: I just feel he should go on a few dates with the latter before forsaking any other girls. :huh:

[Eggyman]

Well I brought that up because mainly he's already discounting the girl he's seeing Batman with because he met a girl at the gym. :huh: I just feel he should go on a few dates with the latter before forsaking any other girls. :huh:

Again, agreed :up:

It's always better to keep your options open.

[Starbird]

Ok...so I've been 'dating' this girl for about a week now. We've officially been going out for about 2 days. I've known her since about freshmen year (I'm a senior), so she's not really NEW too me. We've talked about everything from Anime, too movies, from dances too sex. I'll try too keep this atleast 'Relationship Advice' and not 'Sexual Advice'.

So we've discussed oral sex and she said 'I find it a little bit weird for girls to enjoy getting oral from a guy.' I said 'Well Do you enjoy it?' and she said 'No, not really. *laughs* it feels weird, and it's the last thing I'd do, sex wise.'

So my real question, or advice for this is...Am I lucky to have a girl that wouldn't like too be pleasured orally?

If this is WAY too much Info, Mods you can delete my post.

[thedeadite]

I wouldn't consider myself lucky, though I'm sure many would. In all honesty that's one of my favourite things to do.

[Starbird]

Well she's not a virgin, obviously, and I am. So I don't know what exactly I'm missing out on.

[Nightmare]

I remember being a virgin. Ahh good times.

[Erzengel]

You can look at it a few different ways. She may of had "bad" oral sex done to her that is probably my guess as why she doesn't like it.

It could also be she is self conscious about her "smell", "taste" (which I'm sure she's fine but some girls are like that) which makes her apprehensive of the actual act.

Also, just because she's not a "virgin" doesn't mean she's experienced and it could be that inexperience that soured her experience of it.

Lastly, there are probably a few women as well as men out there that just don't like it. But I really think those are few and far between.

I really think it's one of the first things I listed more often times than not.

[Rando Aces]

how come (in most cases) complete a**holes get girls, then f*** around and lose them, but the girls go and do it again, just in a continuing cycle, yet guys who would be honest and nice dont even get a chance?

[Nightmare]

Watching porn got me pretty "experienced" for my first time. They never knew what hit them.

[Erzengel]

That topic has been brough up ad naseum. :o

On one hand you can say that some women like the challenge of trying to "change" the a'hole into dateble material. However, I find that funny because even if that guy was "changed", it wouldn't be the same guy she liked in the first place. :huh:

Some girls as they mature realize that the a'hole isn't worth their time and do eventually seek out the nice guy.

However, I think what a lot of people fail to realize is that most "nice guys" who seem to think that if they do this or do that, the girl will like them, aren't really nice guys. If the only reason you talk on the phone and listen to her complain about her boyfriend, is so that you can weasel your way into a relationship, you really aren't a nice guy.

Also, just because you are nice doesn't mean she will be attracted to you. And a lot of times that's what it is. Whether physically or mentally/emotionally. You can't force it which is what a lot of "nice guys" try and do.

I've done it. :down

[omid17]

That topic has been brough up ad naseum. :o

On one hand you can say that some women like the challenge of trying to "change" the a'hole into dateble material. However, I find that funny because even if that guy was "changed", it wouldn't be the same guy she liked in the first place. :huh:

Some girls as they mature realize that the a'hole isn't worth their time and do eventually seek out the nice guy.

However, I think what a lot of people fail to realize is that most "nice guys" who seem to think that if they do this or do that, the girl will like them, aren't really nice guys. If the only reason you talk on the phone and listen to her complain about her boyfriend, is so that you can weasel your way into a relationship, you really aren't a nice guy.

Also, just because you are nice doesn't mean she will be attracted to you. And a lot of times that's what it is. Whether physically or mentally/emotionally. You can't force it which is what a lot of "nice guys" try and do.

I've done it. :down
agreed

[Starbird]

You can look at it a few different ways. She may of had "bad" oral sex done to her that is probably my guess as why she doesn't like it.

It could also be she is self conscious about her "smell", "taste" (which I'm sure she's fine but some girls are like that) which makes her apprehensive of the actual act.

Also, just because she's not a "virgin" doesn't mean she's experienced and it could be that inexperience that soured her experience of it.

Lastly, there are probably a few women as well as men out there that just don't like it. But I really think those are few and far between.

I really think it's one of the first things I listed more often times than not.
That actually makes sense...never thought of that.

Thanks Erz. :up:

[LastSunrise1981]

how come (in most cases) complete a**holes get girls, then f*** around and lose them, but the girls go and do it again, just in a continuing cycle, yet guys who would be honest and nice dont even get a chance?

The complete *******s have a confidence to them that attracts girls. I used to think the same thing until I began working out and began developing said confidence. Most girls like a challenge, most girls test guys out to see if they're going to let them run over them and use them as their own personal whipping boy.

Nice guys generally don't have confidence in themselves and come off as needy. I am a nice guy, but I realize now that the best thing to do when approaching girls is just be yourself, be confident, and walk with your head up instead of looking like you're carrying the world on your shoulders. It also pays to charm them with some quick witted humor.

Always remember that the worst thing a girl can say is no. If she says no, don't take it to heart, just move on to the next girl and before you know it you'll find that one you're looking for. Don't compare yourself to the next guy because if girls are attracted to *******s with a criminal record, then it's not the one you're looking for. Simply just continue being who you are, develop confidence, and just walk up to a girl like you would walk up to your best friend.

[Mac_Hine]

The complete *******s have a confidence to them that attracts girls. I used to think the same thing until I began working out and began developing said confidence. Most girls like a challenge, most girls test guys out to see if they're going to let them run over them and use them as their own personal whipping boy.

Nice guys generally don't have confidence in themselves and come off as needy. I am a nice guy, but I realize now that the best thing to do when approaching girls is just be yourself, be confident, and walk with your head up instead of looking like you're carrying the world on your shoulders. It also pays to charm them with some quick witted humor.

Always remember that the worst thing a girl can say is no. If she says no, don't take it to heart, just move on to the next girl and before you know it you'll find that one you're looking for. Don't compare yourself to the next guy because if girls are attracted to *******s with a criminal record, then it's not the one you're looking for. Simply just continue being who you are, develop confidence, and just walk up to a girl like you would walk up to your best friend.
Well said good sir! This is pretty much my mentality. When girls try to test me verbaly, I just look at them straight in the eye with a sly smile and don't even respond to their challenge. Or sometimes I just laugh and challenge them back with something more ridiculous. It's so much fun :hehe:.

[kainedamo]

Yeah nothing seems to work for me. I just can't seem to meet anyone in real life. I've had a recent confidence boost and I feel fairly certain some girls check me out, but even with this knowledge I just can't seem to have a face to face meeting with a single girl.

I had this whole thing typed out about how I was gonna message a girl on bebo (similar to myspace) who I had met once or twice through a friend, but the whole thing sounded so dumb I thought actually the situation just seems stupid and I should have a bit of patience and wait for my friend to organise a group of us to meet up so I can meet this girl again and see what happens.

EDIT: My friend just informed me we are all going to the cinema later in the week. I'm such a 15 year old boy about this kind of crap.

[LastSunrise1981]

Well said good sir! This is pretty much my mentality. When girls try to test me verbaly, I just look at them straight in the eye with a sly smile and don't even respond to their challenge. Or sometimes I just laugh and challenge them back with something more ridiculous. It's so much fun :hehe:.

That's the way you do it too. One of my co-workers is one of the nicest guys in the world, but he cannot get a girlfriend and he wonders why. He's the nice guy that will offer candy to all the girls there on the job and so forth, he doesn't stand up for himself and those same girls can snap on him without him snapping back. I think that's one of the reasons a lot of girls don't try to test me as much because they know I'll snap back and tell them wher they can take their attitudes. :hehe:

I don't care how beautiful a girl is, they're not going to make me their whipping boy.

Here's some helping advice to some of the guys on the Hype who feel they can't get a girl:

If you see a girl that's attractive and you want to talk to her, don't be afraid about the outcome. Just ask yourself "what do I have to lose? The worst thing she can say is no." Once you take that mentality with you everything else comes easy and when you have confidence it just adds to the charm.

[LastSunrise1981]

Yeah nothing seems to work for me. I just can't seem to meet anyone in real life. I've had a recent confidence boost and I feel fairly certain some girls check me out, but even with this knowledge I just can't seem to have a face to face meeting with a single girl.

I had this whole thing typed out about how I was gonna message a girl on bebo (similar to myspace) who I had met once or twice through a friend, but the whole thing sounded so dumb I thought actually the situation just seems stupid and I should have a bit of patience and wait for my friend to organise a group of us to meet up so I can meet this girl again and see what happens.

EDIT: My friend just informed me we are all going to the cinema later in the week. I'm such a 15 year old boy about this kind of crap.

Worst thing a girl can say is no. Just walk up to the girl and just say "Hey, how are you doing?" Something simple to start off and just say you think she's really attractive and seems like a nice person, would she be interested in talking sometime when she's not busy?

[amazingfantasy15]

Yeah nothing seems to work for me. I just can't seem to meet anyone in real life. I've had a recent confidence boost and I feel fairly certain some girls check me out, but even with this knowledge I just can't seem to have a face to face meeting with a single girl.

I had this whole thing typed out about how I was gonna message a girl on bebo (similar to myspace) who I had met once or twice through a friend, but the whole thing sounded so dumb I thought actually the situation just seems stupid and I should have a bit of patience and wait for my friend to organise a group of us to meet up so I can meet this girl again and see what happens.

EDIT: My friend just informed me we are all going to the cinema later in the week. I'm such a 15 year old boy about this kind of crap.

Don't do anything through the internet with this girl. If you can't get her alone to ask for her number or to go out when you're out this week, just ask your friend for her number and call her. You don't need a whole big speech, just get her number, call and ask her out.

[Erzengel]

AF15 is right. You seem to be overcomplicating the situation. But it's good that you recognized that and backed up.

[Immortalfire]

One of my buddies is now under the whip. He's been adamant about going with me and the gang to the opening of The Dark Knight...well, now he can't. His gf wants to go see Mamma Mia that night. :whatever:


RIP Andrew's manliness :csad:

[tank girl]

just make sure you buy him a strapon for his birthday

[Gilpesh]

One of my buddies is now under the whip. He's been adamant about going with me and the gang to the opening of The Dark Knight...well, now he can't. His gf wants to go see Mamma Mia that night. :whatever:


RIP Andrew's manliness :csad:

You should print on a card "Man". Give it to your friend... take it right back, and rip it up in front of him.

[Erzengel]

One of my buddies is now under the whip. He's been adamant about going with me and the gang to the opening of The Dark Knight...well, now he can't. His gf wants to go see Mamma Mia that night. :whatever:


RIP Andrew's manliness :csad:
See, I would of went with to see TDK with my friends. And not because it's the more "masculine" thing to do but because he said he was going to see it with you.

[Deep Thinkin'!]

I've been thinking... you know how women always go after the jerks? Its because they're confident. They're sure of themselves. It's really quite simple.

I think confidence is the key for anyone personally.

Sorry, little obvious blurp for the day. :O

[Master Chief]

I'm confident, I'm beYond confident!! It's more about charm.

Anyway I can't believe I'm posting in here for serious, lol.
But I just told a close friend I fell for moNths ago how special she is to me.
I'm replaying it over and over in my head, did I just make a huge f**king mistake?
I knew there was no shot but like, I wanted her to know.
F**k I'm stupid, lol.

[Gilpesh]

Her reaction was?

[Master Chief]

"I still care about you as a friend."
*sUiCide* hahah.
I saw it coming but ah, f**k it. I'm tired of bottling s**t up.

[Gilpesh]

I have you beat. This girl I liked found out that I liked her not from me but from someone else... (they snitched on me cause they hated me at the time, haha) And her reaction was:

"Awwww."

I swear... just like that...

[Master Chief]

LOL!! Oh SnApSoN! SuckS.

Yeah, the chick I fell for has the same kind of mentality.
She thinks it's sweet.
Totally BS.
At least she wasn't up front with me about it. hAHha.
Your thing sounds like something out of a movie!

s**t though, you don't keep offering a guy hugs and drag him into a dance floor just coz you're buddies, what the f**k!! SWeEtJeBuz, chicks are mean.

[Gilpesh]

s**t though, you don't keep offering a guy hugs and drag him into a dance floor just coz you're buddies, what the f**k!! SWeEtJeBuz, chicks are mean.

Ha... you're the gay friend. At least she treats you that way.

http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=dwayne+perkins&hl=en&sitesearch=#

[Master Chief]

I guess it doesn't help any that I've made that image for myself, I may as well just start f**king guys, lol.

[AndThePickles]

LOL!! Oh SnApSoN! SuckS.

Yeah, the chick I fell for has the same kind of mentality.
She thinks it's sweet.
Totally BS.
At least she wasn't up front with me about it. hAHha.
Your thing sounds like something out of a movie!

s**t though, you don't keep offering a guy hugs and drag him into a dance floor just coz you're buddies, what the f**k!! SWeEtJeBuz, chicks are mean.

To be fair, most high school girls are immature about how to act around guys, and she probably has no idea that she's being a tease. I was guilty of the same thing in high school. Looking back, I feel so bad about it haha :csad:

[Gilpesh]

:dry:

Wow. Going gay cause one girl did that to you?

Good luck with life man.... haha

[Master Chief]

To be fair, most high school girls are immature about how to act around guys, and she probably has no idea that she's being a tease. I was guilty of the same thing in high school. Looking back, I feel so bad about it haha :csad:

It's not even the big tease gestures that get me! Frik yo, it's just how the little things she does make me melt. I totally get the age thing though and that's why I knew there was nOooO chance. That and her best friend "loves" me. Hahahh. :hehe: Goddamn highschool, and to think I'm actually going back another year after graduating!

:dry:

Wow. Going gay cause one girl did that to you?

Good luck with life man.... haha

Naw man, this is like the 10th time in a row, hahah.
Just kidding around, but seriously, I'm 95% there.
I went to go see Sex and the City by myself.
Yeah.
I shouldn't be b**ching now that I've got the whole entire gay friend thing in perspective, but I don't give a f**k, it hurts, lol.

[Gilpesh]

To be fair, most high school girls are immature about how to act around guys, and she probably has no idea that she's being a tease. I was guilty of the same thing in high school. Looking back, I feel so bad about it haha :csad:

Yeah... that could be an excuse...

But it doesn't get any better in college. Cause now they just know they're being teases. :woot:

[Erzengel]

Most guys have experienced the:

"Awww, how cute." or the "I still like you, as a friend."

It's trite but it happens to the best of us. The best advice that I can give you is dating is all a numbers game. You like enough women, eventually one will reciprocate.

[DoomRulz]

Most guys have experienced the:

"Awww, how cute." or the "I still like you, as a friend."

It's trite but it happens to the best of us. The best advice that I can give you is dating is all a numbers game. You like enough women, eventually one will reciprocate.

Most people spend all their lives figuring out the dating game and that's the best advice I've ever heard :cwink:

[kainedamo]

I wonder if it will be alright to ask out a girl that works in a store.

I've saw her there today and yesterday. Very cute, very hot, has a Legend Of Zelda pin so I could strike up a conversation about Nintendo. I dunno, I don't wanna embarrass her.

So how would that go? "Hey, Legend Of Zelda pin! I got a Nintendo Wii recently I love it. *try to have a back and forth conversation*, so do you wanna go out sometime? I could give you my number".

****ing asking people out always feels so damn awkward.

[JayCaz]

I wonder if it will be alright to ask out a girl that works in a store.

I've saw her there today and yesterday. Very cute, very hot, has a Legend Of Zelda pin so I could strike up a conversation about Nintendo. I dunno, I don't wanna embarrass her.

So how would that go? "Hey, Legend Of Zelda pin! I got a Nintendo Wii recently I love it. *try to have a back and forth conversation*, so do you wanna go out sometime? I could give you my number".

****ing asking people out always feels so damn awkward.

Do everything you just said EXCEPT asking her out, save that for say, the third time you strike up a conversation with her. If you start a chit-chat based on her pin & keep it light-hearted, she will still have a little sense of mystery as to whether you like her or are just being friendly, which is a good thing. Like I said, around the 3rd time you chat to her,ask her if she's doing anything exciting this weekend. Regardless of her answer tell her you were thinking of going to 'insert pub/bar/cinema/whatever's name' (this weekend or next weekend, depending on her answer) and would she like to come with, and if she says yes, give her your number. If not, act cool and continue to be friendly with her.

[kainedamo]

That brings up some complications. Each time I go in I'd have to think of an excuse to be there which wouldn't be easy. Would I have to buy something each time? It's a cd/dvd store so that could end up costing me. Going there again and again also might make me seem stalker-ish. It would become obvious quickly I'm going there just to chat to her.

[JayCaz]

That brings up some complications. Each time I go in I'd have to think of an excuse to be there which wouldn't be easy. Would I have to buy something each time? It's a cd/dvd store so that could end up costing me. Going there again and again also might make me seem stalker-ish. It would become obvious quickly I'm going there just to chat to her.

Well in that case, buy some porn, take it to her till, and stare at her the whole time. When she goes to give you your change tell her to "buy herself something nice" and walk out. The get there before the store opens the next day & wait outside, dressed as Zelda.

[jaguarr]

http://www.debonairmag.com/uploaded/Desperation_399.jpg

jag

[amazingfantasy15]

I wonder if it will be alright to ask out a girl that works in a store.

I've saw her there today and yesterday. Very cute, very hot, has a Legend Of Zelda pin so I could strike up a conversation about Nintendo. I dunno, I don't wanna embarrass her.

So how would that go? "Hey, Legend Of Zelda pin! I got a Nintendo Wii recently I love it. *try to have a back and forth conversation*, so do you wanna go out sometime? I could give you my number".

****ing asking people out always feels so damn awkward.

What happen to the other girl you were thinking of asking out? Might want to try your luck with her, before going after random CD/DVD store employees.

[kainedamo]

I'm keeping my options open. I'm hanging out with that girl tonight (maybe) and possibly tomorrow. Why do I seem unsure? She's a friend of a friend, and my friend doesn't seem to be 100% sure as to whether shes coming or not. It's gonna be a group thing. I'll try to scope out if I actually like the girl romantically. We seem to have a bunch in common anyway. If I do feel like I like her romantically, I guess I'll try directing my conversation to her.

[Erzengel]

Someone said it, the worst thing she can do is say no. And if she does, ask the next girl out, and then the next one, and so on.

Don't keep going in the store, because it does become painfully obvious.

Chat her up, see if she's interested, you see your opening, go for it. You are your own worst enemy when you start to overthink.

[amazingfantasy15]

One of my buddies is now under the whip. He's been adamant about going with me and the gang to the opening of The Dark Knight...well, now he can't. His gf wants to go see Mamma Mia that night. :whatever:


RIP Andrew's manliness :csad:

He should tell his girlfriend to go see Mamma Mia with her friends. Why would she even want him with her at that movie? That's a fun girl's night out movie like Sex and the City, he'll just be sulking the entire time anyway, cause he's watching a crappy musical inspired by even worse music instead of what he'd much rather watch. If I had a girlfriend that dragged me to that garbage I'd demand a bj/day for at least a month.

[Erzengel]

2 thoughts on the subject of being dragged to a woman's movie.

1. It works both ways, do you think she's jonesing to go see the new Batman movie or Iron Man? But if she's willing to go because she knows it's important to you, I think it's only fair to oblige her.

2. Secondly, she sometimes may not have anyone who's interested in going to see it with her and doesn't want to go to the movies alone.

Lastly, in the case of Fire's example, what his chick did is uncalled for and I'd tell her no, that I made prior arrangements.

[turtlefocker]

I just stick with escorts... hookers.

[Erzengel]

You wouldn't be the only one on these boards.

[jaguarr]

I'm so glad that my wife loves the same kinds of films I do, including the superhero films. She was PISSED that she wasn't able to go see Iron Man or Incredible Hulk due to being pregnant or having just given birth not too long ago. She did manage to go see "Sex In The City" with one of her friends for a girl's night out, but that's about the extent of her chick flick stuff (and she hated the film, too! Heh!). IF, I'd say your friend's relationship with this girl is doomed if she is unwilling to make compromises or let him go do the things that mean the most to him. He's better off getting a really good grudge-f**k in on opening night of The Dark Knight and then ditching her to go see that film instead of Mama Mia. (Kidding: He needs to talk to her about it and see if he can get her to be a little more accommodating of his passions and interests; if not...THEN PIITB!)

jag

[Immortalfire]

I wonder if it will be alright to ask out a girl that works in a store.

I've saw her there today and yesterday. Very cute, very hot, has a Legend Of Zelda pin so I could strike up a conversation about Nintendo. I dunno, I don't wanna embarrass her.

So how would that go? "Hey, Legend Of Zelda pin! I got a Nintendo Wii recently I love it. *try to have a back and forth conversation*, so do you wanna go out sometime? I could give you my number".

****ing asking people out always feels so damn awkward.

Good luck man, even though we all know you'll panic. :oldrazz:

[Immortalfire]

He should tell his girlfriend to go see Mamma Mia with her friends. Why would she even want him with her at that movie? That's a fun girl's night out movie like Sex and the City, he'll just be sulking the entire time anyway

That's exactly what I said. He said he'll try it.

I'm hopeful that should my theater have a midnight premiere (which I'm very certain they will), we'll be able to do that and Andrew can join us.

Unless he has to stay close by on Thursdays to talk about his feelings.

[Immortalfire]

I'm so glad that my wife loves the same kinds of films I do, including the superhero films. She was PISSED that she wasn't able to go see Iron Man or Incredible Hulk due to being pregnant or having just given birth not too long ago. She did manage to go see "Sex In The City" with one of her friends for a girl's night out, but that's about the extent of her chick flick stuff (and she hated the film, too! Heh!).

She's a keeper! :eek: :heart: :woot:

[amazingfantasy15]

2 thoughts on the subject of being dragged to a woman's movie.

1. It works both ways, do you think she's jonesing to go see the new Batman movie or Iron Man? But if she's willing to go because she knows it's important to you, I think it's only fair to oblige her.

2. Secondly, she sometimes may not have anyone who's interested in going to see it with her and doesn't want to go to the movies alone.

Lastly, in the case of Fire's example, what his chick did is uncalled for and I'd tell her no, that I made prior arrangements.

Maybe my reaction was fueled by the fact that it's a movie based on ABBA's music, which I find to be some of the worst music to ever be made.

She's a keeper! :eek: :heart: :woot:

Well, he did say wife, not girlfriend, so I think he's already figured that out.

[LastSunrise1981]

The key is confidence honestly. Recently I was at the mall and I happened to see this girl there. She was very beautiful, great body, and carried herself in an appropiate fashion where she knew she was attractive but didn't appear stuck up, you know? So I went up to her and started talking to her because I noticed she had a Motorhead t-shirt on too.

I am a huge Motorhead fan and I complimented her on the shirt, and we just started talking and we hit it off pretty good. So by the time we finished talking I just flat out asked her "So, when are we going out?" She responded with "When I have something to do other than homework.", in which I responded "I can be your homework. I am complicated and last for hours." I didn't care, I had nothing to lose and I said it with confidence and belief in myself.

She began blushing and when I say blush, I do mean blush. She got the biggest kick out of it and she gave me her number. We've been talking ever since that day and even went out on a few dates. I honestly don't think it's going to turn into anything, because at the moment, there are two other girls that I have my eyes on. One of which I met at the Credit Union where I cash my check and so forth, the other is one that I met at the gym. So it's kind of hard to choose which girl is the best for me at the moment, however, there is no rush on my part right now.

I also like to point out that working out really helps confidence and girls notice men who take care of their bodies. Just be who you are, don't try to be a cocky ******* or some bad boy because certain girls like bad boys. Just be YOU and walk with belief that you are attractive, intelligent, and keep yourself clean of any bad breath or body odor. You can line up 100 girls on the wall and you ask all of them out, eventually one will say yes to your advances.

[Logan's Runt]

I'm so glad that my wife loves the same kinds of films I do, including the superhero films. She was PISSED that she wasn't able to go see Iron Man or Incredible Hulk due to being pregnant or having just given birth not too long ago. She did manage to go see "Sex In The City" with one of her friends for a girl's night out, but that's about the extent of her chick flick stuff (and she hated the film, too! Heh!). IF, I'd say your friend's relationship with this girl is doomed if she is unwilling to make compromises or let him go do the things that mean the most to him. He's better off getting a really good grudge-f**k in on opening night of The Dark Knight and then ditching her to go see that film instead of Mama Mia. (Kidding: He needs to talk to her about it and see if he can get her to be a little more accommodating of his passions and interests; if not...THEN PIITB!)

jag

Your woman and I would get along. :up:

[jaguarr]

Your woman and I would get along. :up:

Yeah, actually you probably would. :up:

jag

[amazingfantasy15]

The key is confidence honestly. Recently I was at the mall and I happened to see this girl there. She was very beautiful, great body, and carried herself in an appropiate fashion where she knew she was attractive but didn't appear stuck up, you know? So I went up to her and started talking to her because I noticed she had a Motorhead t-shirt on too.

I am a huge Motorhead fan and I complimented her on the shirt, and we just started talking and we hit it off pretty good. So by the time we finished talking I just flat out asked her "So, when are we going out?" She responded with "When I have something to do other than homework.", in which I responded "I can be your homework. I am complicated and last for hours." I didn't care, I had nothing to lose and I said it with confidence and belief in myself.

She began blushing and when I say blush, I do mean blush. She got the biggest kick out of it and she gave me her number. We've been talking ever since that day and even went out on a few dates. I honestly don't think it's going to turn into anything, because at the moment, there are two other girls that I have my eyes on. One of which I met at the Credit Union where I cash my check and so forth, the other is one that I met at the gym. So it's kind of hard to choose which girl is the best for me at the moment, however, there is no rush on my part right now.

I also like to point out that working out really helps confidence and girls notice men who take care of their bodies. Just be who you are, don't try to be a cocky ******* or some bad boy because certain girls like bad boys. Just be YOU and walk with belief that you are attractive, intelligent, and keep yourself clean of any bad breath or body odor. You can line up 100 girls on the wall and you ask all of them out, eventually one will say yes to your advances.

Nice, a rock chick!

[Erzengel]

Well I'm glad LastSunrise is keeping his options open. And not fixating on just one girl. Keep it up until you know exactly what you want.

[DV8]

has anyone that asks for advice on this thread gotten laid yet in my absence?? (I'm betting on a strong "no") :(

[Erzengel]

I asked for some advice. But it was just about flowers being delivered to an ICU.

Got laid. :o :up:

[amazingfantasy15]

has anyone that asks for advice on this thread gotten laid yet in my absence?? (I'm betting on a strong "no") :(

I think the threads record is still 0-lost count

[DV8]

Heh . . .

[Mac_Hine]

It's still an interesting read though to get different guys' perspectives on women and dating. To see that different guys are having some of the same challenges and other people talk about the things that have worked for them is great. I love psychology so I'm just totally fascinated about social interaction and dynamics.

[amazingfantasy15]

I'm keeping my options open. I'm hanging out with that girl tonight (maybe) and possibly tomorrow. Why do I seem unsure? She's a friend of a friend, and my friend doesn't seem to be 100% sure as to whether shes coming or not. It's gonna be a group thing. I'll try to scope out if I actually like the girl romantically. We seem to have a bunch in common anyway. If I do feel like I like her romantically, I guess I'll try directing my conversation to her.

So what's the deal Kaine, did you see the girl and ask her out (either the friend of a friend or CD/DVD store employee) or did you live up to your avatar?

[terry78]

http://joshreads.com/images/08/07/i080703woi.png

[DoomRulz]

ROFL, love it!! :grin:

[Ash J. Williams]

OK, this might sound complicated, but the girl I've got my eyes on is the same girl a friend of mine does because he's hinted at it. And I think she might already be in a relationship, so I'm not sure what to do either way.

[danb26]

OK, this might sound complicated, but the girl I've got my eyes on is the same girl a friend of mine does because he's hinted at it. And I think she might already be in a relationship, so I'm not sure what to do either way.

Is it not obvious if she's in a relationship or not?...so...I'm guessing this is at work some place? Friends and girls is always awkward, it depends on what you think long term is more worth it.

If she appears to be the girl you want forever more, then something will happen your way.

But as you say, you don't even know if she's single anyway...so in that regard unless she's showing obvious signs...it's probably off the market and not worth the pain! :-p

[Banquet]

OK, this might sound complicated, but the girl I've got my eyes on is the same girl a friend of mine does because he's hinted at it. And I think she might already be in a relationship, so I'm not sure what to do either way.

doesn't sound like you have anything to do at this point if she's already in a relationship. and if not maybe you could go for dibs with your friend? depends on if you mean just "got your eyes on" or actually "head over heels for" I guess.

[kainedamo]

So the girl thats a friend of a friend I was supposed to hang out with earlier in the week, my friend stuffed up and doesn't think he has her right number on his phone, so I don't think she ever even knew about the group meetup. Great.

[danb26]

doesn't sound like you have anything to do at this point if she's already in a relationship. and if not maybe you could go for dibs with your friend? depends on if you mean just "got your eyes on" or actually "head over heels for" I guess.

Very much so.I guess it also depends on the kind of interaction you've had with the girl as well.

[danb26]

So the girl thats a friend of a friend I was supposed to hang out with earlier in the week, my friend stuffed up and doesn't think he has her right number on his phone, so I don't think she ever even knew about the group meetup. Great.

Is he not giving you all the info bud? Sounds a little like that, like he wants to help, but doesn't really..btw I'm moving near Belfast this weekend!! Any tips? :p

[SLVRSR4]

has anyone that asks for advice on this thread gotten laid yet in my absence?? (I'm betting on a strong "no") :(

I actually did:grin: I didn't need advice, I just needed positive reinforcement from anonymous people:o I thought this was about relationships not sex:cwink:

[Honey Vibe]

Q: How do I gain more confidence in myself, in my role as "his woman" and "his lover" in a relationship? I have very little confidence in myself, and it inhibits everything: happiness, forgiveness, focus, everything... :csad:

[Ash J. Williams]

Is it not obvious if she's in a relationship or not?...so...I'm guessing this is at work some place? Friends and girls is always awkward, it depends on what you think long term is more worth it.

If she appears to be the girl you want forever more, then something will happen your way.

But as you say, you don't even know if she's single anyway...so in that regard unless she's showing obvious signs...it's probably off the market and not worth the pain! :-p
Well, I've seen pictures of her with a guy who might be her ex and I think they're just friends. On the other hand, they might still be together. And she goes to my youth group, so I see her twice a week at the most.

And I figure I'll flirt with her/drop hints anyways.
doesn't sound like you have anything to do at this point if she's already in a relationship. and if not maybe you could go for dibs with your friend? depends on if you mean just "got your eyes on" or actually "head over heels for" I guess.
The thing is: if I let my friend know I'm attracted to her, I'm not sure what his reaction will be. If he's willing to share, that's cool.

And I dunno, but I think about her at times, which I guess could mean something.

[jaguarr]

Triple post.

jag

[jaguarr]

Triple post.

jag

[jaguarr]

Q: How do I gain more confidence in myself, in my role as "his woman" and "his lover" in a relationship? I have very little confidence in myself, and it inhibits everything: happiness, forgiveness, focus, everything... :csad:

If you can't love yourself, you sure as hell aren't going to be able to love anyone else, Honey V. What your seeking is not confidence in your role as "HIS lover" or "HIS woman", you're seeking confidence in who you are as a person first and foremost. You are not defined as a person by your relationship with another person but, rather, complimented by that relationship. Each person has a responsibility to bring the best of themselves to a relationship and not lose that or themselves as the relationship develops and unfolds. Think of it as interdependency rather than codependence or even independence; the idea is that you are both fully functioning, self-maintaining individuals who are together because you have so much more as a couple than you do apart. You're together because you WANT to be together, and to reap the benefits of that, rather than because you feel like you NEED to be together. There's an old saying that goes "You cannot give away that which you never have owned in the first place". When applied, contextually, to your own heart, spirit and self-respect, that little verse starts to sink in pretty deep the more you think about that.

jag

[terry78]

The Dali Jaguarr has spoken.

[Banquet]

Totally agree, Jaguar. It's really annoying when two people get together and get involved in their relationship to the point that the exclude everyone else, too. When both of them get lost in the other.

[jaguarr]

Totally agree, Jaguar. It's really annoying when two people get together and get involved in their relationship to the point that the exclude everyone else, too. When both of them get lost in the other.

Well, it might be annoying to everyone else around them, but it's really a pretty natural part of the bonding process and often a necessary step in developing intimacy and trust for many people. When attraction initially sparks between two people at that level, it's pretty natural to want to be with them all the time. To get to know them on every imaginable level as much as possible. To explore and share experiences together. That often times doesn't leave much time for others, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship. It's really not about anyone else but them at that point and I don't know a serious couple that didn't go through some sort of phase like that. Eventually things ease up a bit and couples start to include others back into their circle and rejoin their friends and family not as individuals, but together, and that also requires an adjustment period for some of those friends and family. They're no longer dealing with just one of them, but both of them, and it changes the dynamic.

jag

[Banquet]

Well, it might be annoying to everyone else around them, but it's really a pretty natural part of the bonding process and often a necessary step in developing intimacy and trust for many people. When attraction initially sparks between two people at that level, it's pretty natural to want to be with them all the time. To get to know them on every imaginable level as much as possible. To explore and share experiences together. That often times doesn't leave much time for others, especially in the beginning stages of a relationship. It's really not about anyone else but them at that point and I don't know a serious couple that didn't go through some sort of phase like that. Eventually things ease up a bit and couples start to include others back into their circle and rejoin their friends and family not as individuals, but together, and that also requires an adjustment period for some of those friends and family. They're no longer dealing with just one of them, but both of them, and it changes the dynamic.

jag

yes, but I've seen about three relationships in the past year where it was taken to an extreme. One relationship excluded family and friends for over a year, and still do as far as I can tell, to the point of rudeness. In another the two ended up breaking up because one realized that everything they thought they were interested in was coming from the other, and when it came time to make their own life decisions they were suddenly lost.

I can see two people being enthralled with each other for a while, but when it goes on for an extremely long time or causes them to lose themselves and their friends or family, it's just unhealthy imo

[jaguarr]

yes, but I've seen about three relationships in the past year where it was taken to an extreme. One relationship excluded family and friends for over a year, and still do as far as I can tell, to the point of rudeness. In another the two ended up breaking up because one realized that everything they thought they were interested in was coming from the other, and when it came time to make their own life decisions they were suddenly lost.

I can see two people being enthralled with each other for a while, but when it goes on for an extremely long time or causes them to lose themselves and their friends or family, it's just unhealthy imo

The parts in bold I will agree with wholeheartedly. However, even after all this time together, my wife and I are still enthralled with each other and it's something about our relationship I love very much. So, it's not really a time period problem or issue of length in my eyes, it's a matter of keeping perspective. The key is balancing it with the rest of your life, which not everyone is able to do.

jag

[danb26]

Totally agree, Jaguar. It's really annoying when two people get together and get involved in their relationship to the point that the exclude everyone else, too. When both of them get lost in the other.

I always think that's a thing you do if you're in the wrong relationship. I've done that in the past and it's always ended. My current lady and I are fine though and I encourage her and myself to still do the things we did when we were single. (within obvious respect!!)

It's important for a successful relationship to have things to do outside of it. Otherwise it'll usually end up stale and worse still, everyone you knew would have moved on and away and you'll know no-one anymore!!

[danb26]

Totally agree, Jaguar. It's really annoying when two people get together and get involved in their relationship to the point that the exclude everyone else, too. When both of them get lost in the other.

I agree completely, I've had past relationships where his has happened and it's always important to stick or at least keep an aspect of who you were when you met them, otherwise it gets stale and sooner rather than later you'll start to have problems.

My current relationship is lovely, I think that changes with time, age and experience though. It's good to keep on doing things separtely...within respect!!...because if anything was to go wrong, then at least there would still be people out there who are friends.

Keep your own head!

[danb26]

Excuse the double post, I thought it had crashed :p Both saying the same things really!!

[NoName86]

Ok, so now I have a simple question, but I"m usually not one to ask such things online, lol.

Anyways, I've made something that should be simple into something minorly complicated, and I would prefer a woman's opinion on this, but anyone can chime in here.

So I was at Lowes picking up some things, and I get in line and when I get to the check-out register there is this absolutely beautiful girl (and I am in no way exaggerating by any means) running the register. Well, all is normal until she is obviously hitting on me big time. Asking my age, if I live around there, making jokes, etc and at the time my mind is in overload cause I'm thinking there is no way this girl could be hitting on me. I guess I went into panic mode cause she caught me off guard, and so I pretty much didn't talk back at all which was an idiotic thing to do.

So, basically now what I'm contemplating is going back there about the same time I did last week (I need to buy a giftcard for a birthday present anyways) and talking to her and/or asking her to dinner if she is up for it, but does anyone think this would come off as creepy? lol I keep wondering if this would be a bit too stalkerish or something, lol cause I'm going back and all this stuff. I really wanted to talk to her, but I choked when the opportunity was clearly there.

So what do you think?

[LastSunrise1981]

Ok, so now I have a simple question, but I"m usually not one to ask such things online, lol.

Anyways, I've made something that should be simple into something minorly complicated, and I would prefer a woman's opinion on this, but anyone can chime in here.

So I was at Lowes picking up some things, and I get in line and when I get to the check-out register there is this absolutely beautiful girl (and I am in no way exaggerating by any means) running the register. Well, all is normal until she is obviously hitting on me big time. Asking my age, if I live around there, making jokes, etc and at the time my mind is in overload cause I'm thinking there is no way this girl could be hitting on me. I guess I went into panic mode cause she caught me off guard, and so I pretty much didn't talk back at all which was an idiotic thing to do.

So, basically now what I'm contemplating is going back there about the same time I did last week (I need to buy a giftcard for a birthday present anyways) and talking to her and/or asking her to dinner if she is up for it, but does anyone think this would come off as creepy? lol I keep wondering if this would be a bit too stalkerish or something, lol cause I'm going back and all this stuff. I really wanted to talk to her, but I choked when the opportunity was clearly there.

So what do you think?

I don't think your approach is creepy at all, however, it would be best to feel her out trying to find out whether or not she has a boyfriend first. If you walk up to her again say hello, ask her how she's doing, and let the conversation start building from there.

Ask her how her fourth of July was and so forth. Reason I am saying this is because I've seen a lot of beautiful women with boyfriend, but they'll go and hit on the next guy, which results in said guy putting his heart on the line for this girl which ends with him having a broken heart. So feel her out, ask her questions too, joke with her, and see if she mentions a boyfriend.

[Banquet]

I don't think your approach is creepy at all, however, it would be best to feel her out trying to find out whether or not she has a boyfriend first. If you walk up to her again say hello, ask her how she's doing, and let the conversation start building from there.

Ask her how her fourth of July was and so forth. Reason I am saying this is because I've seen a lot of beautiful women with boyfriend, but they'll go and hit on the next guy, which results in said guy putting his heart on the line for this girl which ends with him having a broken heart. So feel her out, ask her questions too, joke with her, and see if she mentions a boyfriend.

I am a woman, and I second this. It would only be creepy if you had been hitting on her and she turned you down. If she is available, then it will probably flatter her to see you again.

Something that sucks about being pretty is that nice guys shy away even if you flirt with them. So I say go for it! :cwink:

[LastSunrise1981]

I am a woman, and I second this. It would only be creepy if you had been hitting on her and she turned you down. If she is available, then it will probably flatter her to see you again.

Something that sucks about being pretty is that nice guys shy away even if you flirt with them. So I say go for it! :cwink:

From personal experience I used to be a shy guy. Anytime a girl spoke to me I'd freeze up and have no idea what to say to her. Of course back then I had no confidence in myself, was pretty fat, and had no luck with women whatsoever. Ultimately if I was interested in a girl I'd fall into the dreaded "friend zone."

Needless to say I started working out which resulted in 32lbs weight loss and I found confidence in myself. Most girls I was attracted to stopped talking to me for some odd reason after I told them how I felt about them. But I moved on to better girls and I find myself charming them now, something I couldn't do before.

For example if I see a pretty girl I'll go up to her, talk to her, and flat out say "So, when are we going out?" or I'll send a girl a text message saying "Hey, how's it going? Miss me yet?" And the girl said "Of course, I always miss you." My response is went "Well, since we're missing each other, let's go out Tuesday night."

I am not some Don Juan obviously but I think most will agree that confidence helps. Sometimes being straight up with a girl is the best way to get them to open up as well, you know? I met these two lovely ladies at the bank and one of them happened to come to the movies(where I work at), and she saw me saying "I haven't seen you at the bank lately. Where have you been?"

I simply say "Miss me that much huh?" She blushed and tried to deny she missed me but I could see she did. lol.

@NoName- I also wanted to add something else to the advice. Don't make a habit out of going to Lowes all the time hoping to see her. It'll look pretty weird and might come off as stalkerish, you know? Just space out your goings there and when you see her then talk to her. Like I said approach her with a simple hello, how is she doing, and see where it leads to. Ask how her fourth of July was and how did she celebrate it.

[NoName86]

Thank you both for the advice.

@LastSunrise: Yea I actually not only understand what you are saying, but come from a similar background. I am a pretty shy type of guy, but lately I've been realizing how much that shyness just simply holds me down. Anyways, yea I'm definitely gonna go and see if I can meet her again this week.

@Banquet: I appreciate your help, your perspective helps me out quite a bit. I just didn't want to come off as being a stalker or something lol.

[hammy]

This is for either guys or girls. What do you do about the people in your life who are hanger-on-ers? :huh: There are several really sweet guys who just hang around like puppies. They know there will never be anything between us, but they seem to be infatuated with me and just keep hanging on. I can't be mean to them. I just can't. But some of them have been with me, (so to speak,) for a while and I could see this going on for .. years. I don't know what to do about it.

[jaguarr]

This is for either guys or girls. What do you do about the people in your life who are hanger-on-ers? :huh: There are several really sweet guys who just hang around like puppies. They know there will never be anything between us, but they seem to be infatuated with me and just keep hanging on. I can't be mean to them. I just can't. But some of them have been with me, (so to speak,) for a while and I could see this going on for .. years. I don't know what to do about it.

Honestly, honesty is the best policy. The kinds of guys that tend to do what you describe...hanging around, hoping you'll come around and see what a great guy they are and want to jump their bones and be with them forever and ever...well, they're usually kind of thick in the head. You have to be very straightforward and blunt about how you see your friendship with them. That doesn't mean being insensitive or rude, just very bluntly honest that they are only your friend and neither a relationship nor seximus maximus is going to happen and you want to make sure they are clear on that. Some may surprise you and really just wanted to be your friend, and others (and more likely) will give you the puppy dog eyes and want to know "But why!? I'm a nice guy and I treat you right, etc., etc.". Again, you just have to be blunt and tell them you don't feel that way about them; the chemistry just isn't there. Some of them may be mature enough to accept that and can transition past their lust for you and into a good friendship. Others won't be able to handle it and may just bail right then and there (and they were never your friend to begin with if that's the case). Others may just continue to hang on to the hope that you'll come around (even if they say they get it and know you just want to be their friend and nothing more). The important thing for you to remember is that you can't own their feelings or intentions. The only thing you can do is make sure they are clear on YOUR feelings or intentions and the rest is on them and not you. If you haven't been up front and honest with them, though, then you're only contributing to the perpetuation of their hopes because you haven't said one way or the other whether they really have a shot at you (or not).

Just my two quid, anyways. :)

jag

[hammy]

Well, I didn't really think of them as lusting after me, lol. And as far as I know, they all know that whatever "realtionship" we currently have - that is all it will ever be. But for some strange reason, that seems to suit them just fine. :huh: And it's not like I dislike them or anything, it's just that they are always .. there. They're underfoot. It's hard to have any space because someone is just always popping up, wanting to talk and stuff.

But maybe you're right in that they might 'think' there is a chance for something else. I really didn't think about it that way. I figured we knew were we stood, but maybe that's something that needs to be said again. So thanks.

[jaguarr]

In my experience, people who hang around like that (and especially if they're guys hanging around a woman), are usually hoping or waiting for either that big opening to pop up or the woman to realize how utterly amazing they are and fall madly in love with them. That's usually the primary motivator for them to always be around. And it can definitely put a cramp on your dating style because guys who might ask you out that you'd actually be interested in might give you a pass because...there's always THAT guy with you so he must be like...your boyfriend or something (it's a perception thing). And, yeah, they tend to crowd your space as well because...they're always around (because the more they're around you, the more likely you are to realize how awesome they are and want to jump their bones, you know!). No matter what their motives are, though, it really comes down to setting some personal boundaries for yourself with these people and being clear about the relationship you have with them (I'm betting most of them really aren't all that clear, even if they pretend that they are or even if you've told them point blank in the past that it's not going to happen...like I said, guys like that are a bit thick) and what's acceptable and what is not. That's not being mean or being rude, it's being honest and open and, most of all, ensuring that you are getting what you really need in terms of space and personal freedom. There's absolutely no reason for you to be suffering just because someone isn't paying attention to what your boundaries are, so reset the expectations with them. :up:

Good luck.

jag

[kainedamo]

I wonder if Jag, Erz, ShadowBoxing, and Runt could get me laid if they visited me for awhile.

[Rando Aces]

In my experience, people who hang around like that (and especially if they're guys hanging around a woman), are usually hoping or waiting for either that big opening to pop up or the woman to realize how utterly amazing they are and fall madly in love with them. That's usually the primary motivator for them to always be around. And it can definitely put a cramp on your dating style because guys who might ask you out that you'd actually be interested in might give you a pass because...there's always THAT guy with you so he must be like...your boyfriend or something (it's a perception thing). And, yeah, they tend to crowd your space as well because...they're always around (because the more they're around you, the more likely you are to realize how awesome they are and want to jump their bones, you know!). No matter what their motives are, though, it really comes down to setting some personal boundaries for yourself with these people and being clear about the relationship you have with them (I'm betting most of them really aren't all that clear, even if they pretend that they are or even if you've told them point blank in the past that it's not going to happen...like I said, guys like that are a bit thick) and what's acceptable and what is not. That's not being mean or being rude, it's being honest and open and, most of all, ensuring that you are getting what you really need in terms of space and personal freedom. There's absolutely no reason for you to be suffering just because someone isn't paying attention to what your boundaries are, so reset the expectations with them. :up:

Good luck.

jag

you must be a shaman. so wise.

[Erzengel]

I wonder if Jag, Erz, ShadowBoxing, and Runt could get me laid if they visited me for awhile.

I'm not a miracle worker. :csad:

[November Rain]

I wonder if Jag, Erz, ShadowBoxing, and Runt could get me laid if they visited me for awhile.
you know those so called *******s dudes you dislike?

yeah, you need to become more along the lines of them.

it's not really that hard.

perhaps your perspective on yourself is hindering you making positive changed to your life to enhace your enjoyment of it.

[Rando Aces]

you know those so called *******s dudes you dislike?

yeah, you need to become more along the lines of them.

it's not really that hard.

perhaps your perspective on yourself is hindering you making positive changed to your life to enhace your enjoyment of it.

just to let you know i have always loved your avvy. ill be going now.

[November Rain]

Quick question?

How much of a friend do you feel you have to be to your partner to make it last. I mean can you get away with simply being in love with someone while not actually liking them much (kinda like how you could love a family member but not like them but they are still family). Or how much do you need to respect their abilities to make decent judgement calls in certain scenarios. Is it alright to be with someone you don't believe could handle coporate life or does negative opinions on your partner ultimately lead to the decay of a loving relationship?

(I realise i'm going to get answers along the lines of 'it depends' yet i'm still curious)

[November Rain]

just to let you know i have always loved your avvy. ill be going now.
Cheers, I'm lucky I had the vision to get something that encapsulated not only my username but my custom title all in one scene (it's lois lane).

Nathan did a good job of it, Don't think I'll ever change it again.

[Erzengel]

you know those so called *******s dudes you dislike?

yeah, you need to become more along the lines of them.

it's not really that hard.

perhaps your perspective on yourself is hindering you making positive changed to your life to enhace your enjoyment of it.
Eh, that's like the advice broken hearted teenagers give to everyone around them. :o

But it's all in the way you think about it, if you aren't an ******* to begin with, then why would you want to be something you are not in order to get a girl? Eventually, that facade will fall because it's an act. :huh:

However, if you are only going to do it to get laid, that's a different story.

[Erzengel]

Quick question?

How much of a friend do you feel you have to be to your partner to make it last. I mean can you get away with simply being in love with someone while not actually liking them much (kinda like how you could love a family member but not like them but they are still family).
I don't think I could be in love with someone who I didn't consider my friend. :huh: I'd like her to be one of the first people I'd tell good news too, or someone I could tell a joke to and I know they will laugh. I couldn't even fathom being in love with someone I didn't like. I think the only way that scenario was possible was "growing apart" and still loving that person in some aspect but not being able to be near them.


Or how much do you need to respect their abilities to make decent judgement calls in certain scenarios. Is it alright to be with someone you don't believe could handle coporate life or does negative opinions on your partner ultimately lead to the decay of a loving relationship?

(I realise i'm going to get answers along the lines of 'it depends' yet i'm still curious)
I'm not sure I'm following this. I do think it'd be hard for at least me to be with someone with no common sense. Someone who can't do remedial things. :huh:

[jaguarr]

I'm not a miracle worker. :csad:

We could get him a hooker, thus getting him laid, but that would involve spending money on him and I'm sure as hell not doing that. :down

jag

[jaguarr]

I don't think I could be in love with someone who I didn't consider my friend. :huh: I'd like her to be one of the first people I'd tell good news too, or someone I could tell a joke to and I know they will laugh. I couldn't even fathom being in love with someone I didn't like. I think the only way that scenario was possible was "growing apart" and still loving that person in some aspect but not being able to be near them.

Yeah, I really can't fathom that, either. My wife is more than just my lover. She's my best friend. My partner in crime. My confidant. My other half, so to speak. A purely sexual relationship (of which I have had a few in my lifetime) can be fun, but it's not the basis for a lasting, meaningful relationship.


I'm not sure I'm following this. I do think it'd be hard for at least me to be with someone with no common sense. Someone who can't do remedial things. :huh:

I think November Rain may have met a retarded girl that he wants to sex up. :huh:

jag

[DV8]

Ok, so now I have a simple question, but I"m usually not one to ask such things online, lol.

Anyways, I've made something that should be simple into something minorly complicated, and I would prefer a woman's opinion on this, but anyone can chime in here.

So I was at Lowes picking up some things, and I get in line and when I get to the check-out register there is this absolutely beautiful girl (and I am in no way exaggerating by any means) running the register. Well, all is normal until she is obviously hitting on me big time. Asking my age, if I live around there, making jokes, etc and at the time my mind is in overload cause I'm thinking there is no way this girl could be hitting on me. I guess I went into panic mode cause she caught me off guard, and so I pretty much didn't talk back at all which was an idiotic thing to do.

So, basically now what I'm contemplating is going back there about the same time I did last week (I need to buy a giftcard for a birthday present anyways) and talking to her and/or asking her to dinner if she is up for it, but does anyone think this would come off as creepy? lol I keep wondering if this would be a bit too stalkerish or something, lol cause I'm going back and all this stuff. I really wanted to talk to her, but I choked when the opportunity was clearly there.

So what do you think?

Like a bunch of others have already said, go back but be discreet . . . ask some probing questions and joke w/ her a little; hahaha, you could even tell her you're building a batcave w/ all those remodling supplies :D

[Erzengel]

Like a bunch of others have already said, go back but be discreet . . . ask some probing questions and joke w/ her a little; hahaha, you could even tell her you're building a batcave w/ all those remodling supplies :D
Those are the best kind. :o

http://www.iitcinc.com/images/therm/clinical_probes.jpg

[DV8]

Those are the best kind. :o

http://www.iitcinc.com/images/therm/clinical_probes.jpg

Lol! yeah, make sure you ask her to bend over first, no name :hehe:

[Superman79]

So what have I missed guys???

[jaguarr]

So what have I missed guys???

Casey has stalkers that she keeps like pets, November Rain wants to bang a retarded girl, and Kaine still can't get laid. That's about it.

jag

[Erzengel]

I think a lot of people can relate to Casey's story. More often times than not most guys have been "friends" with women that they secretly wanted more from and hoped if they were patient and sat around, the girl would eventually realize what was in front of her eyes. In "non hollywood" reality, they are waiting for a bus that's never going to come.

The usual solution for that is when the guy gets another girlfriend and the relationship with the girl he use to hang around about waiting begins to fizzle out as he wants to spend time with the other girl 24/7.

[NoName86]

I actually went back there yesterday night to buy a lamp, lol. She wasn't working it seemed...unfortunately. I'm actually buying things because I'm gonna be moving soon, so I'll be back in there eventually. Maybe I'll see her or something. There was annoying kid working the register this time lol.

[November Rain]

Eh, that's like the advice broken hearted teenagers give to everyone around them. :o

But it's all in the way you think about it, if you aren't an ******* to begin with, then why would you want to be something you are not in order to get a girl? Eventually, that facade will fall because it's an act. :huh:

However, if you are only going to do it to get laid, that's a different story.
This is more in line with the fact the majority of people who are seen as bastards aren't actually bastards but peer envy alters one's perception of them and instead of trying to see the differences in your approach to life, one pidgeon holes them and rejects it all.

With regards to any situation, if somebody has or is doing something that you desire, then you need to kinda study them to see how they got to where they are and how you could get to a similar place in less steps.

[November Rain]

Yeah, I really can't fathom that, either. My wife is more than just my lover. She's my best friend. My partner in crime. My confidant. My other half, so to speak. A purely sexual relationship (of which I have had a few in my lifetime) can be fun, but it's not the basis for a lasting, meaningful relationship.


I think November Rain may have met a retarded girl that he wants to sex up. :huh:
jag
Nah, it's more along the lines of how far 'like' can turn to tolerate (or even despise) before you think one's brain should take over from their heart.

like how often can a good friend get you into trouble before you stop seeing them regularly...

[Gilpesh]

Casey has stalkers that she keeps like pets, November Rain wants to bang a retarded girl, and Kaine still can't get laid. That's about it.

jag

Actually they want to be her pets... she's nowhere near as bad as a girl I know who loves the attention from guys like that and actively leads them on.

[Superman79]

Casey has stalkers that she keeps like pets, November Rain wants to bang a retarded girl, and Kaine still can't get laid. That's about it.

jag


Ah, so same old stuff huh? :up:

[jaguarr]

Nah, it's more along the lines of how far 'like' can turn to tolerate (or even despise) before you think one's brain should take over from their heart.

like how often can a good friend get you into trouble before you stop seeing them regularly...

Operating solely from the heart or solely from the brain in relationships is a path to nowhere. You need both to be involved and engaged in the relationship or it will ultimately wind up empty.

jag

[kainedamo]

So the girl at the store I was considering asking out. I tried asking her out today and failed.

I went into the store and saw her working. I had a plan in my head that I would ask her what Nintendo Wii games are worth buying. I had previously seen her wearing a Legend of Zelda pin, so I figured she may have some interest in this and it would be a perfectly harmless customer kind of question and perfect for building up a conversation.

There were too many damn staff about. 4 staff people and they were all going back and forth unpacking boxes. I thought it would be impossible to get her on her own. I looked through some games while having a look every minute or so to see where she was. When the other staff members were elsewhere I finally walked over to her direction, then some staff guy popped out of nowhere and talked to her, so I grabbed a game and looked at the back cover all inconspicuous. At this point I decided I should probably just leave. She disappeared upstairs and after a minute or so was back down, walking towards the stairs to go down, she had a bag over her shoulder so obviously it was either the end of her shift or her lunch break. I thought it would be now or never, so before she passed me I turned around and started talking.

"Hey, I wanted to ask about the Wii".
"Um, what did you want to ask?"
"I got a Wii recently and was wondering what you thought would be the best games".
"Um... could you ask that guy over there? I'm going on my lunch break".
"Yeah, that's fine, no problem".

I'm such a ****ing jerk. In order to not look like a stalker psychopath, I hung around the store for another minute before leaving. I sat down at some benches outside and thought about what an ass I was. Immediately I thought of other things I could have said.

"Where are you going for lunch?"
"Do you mind if I join you for lunch?" *hurl*
"Actually I wasn't really interested in the games but I wanted to ask you out" *hurl*

I dunno. I think anything I said at that point would have just been weird and awkward.

I felt really quite disheartened by the experience. First of all I was quite surprised at how nervous I was when I was hanging around the store. And second of all of course disappointed that I wasn't able to follow through properly. I'll never be able to try that again with her. Definately not. Too weird.

I was thinking, there seems to be a fine line between asking out a total stranger and coming across as a weird creepy stalker guy.

I felt quite bad. I wouldn't feel so bad if I haven't been single for so long. But I can't help but feeling I'm in a pattern of failure with women that I just can't shake off. I've learned alot over just the last couple of years about where I've been going wrong in the past. I've learned to stop using excuses. I can be confident, I can be funny at a party, I believe I'm reasonably attractive... I just can't seem to make anything happen for myself. The number one problem is that I don't meet enough people. Besides that, I don't know... ****. ********************** You have no idea how silly I feel being 24 and feeling like this.

[Erzengel]

First off the girl sounds like a b'tch.

She's in customer service, she should have taken the few minutes to talk to you even if it was a fake question.

Honestly, from the scenario you just made, you had no shot at this girl and you would have completely put her on the spot with that question. It'd be different if you had a couple of conversations with her. But, her ringing you up once (which she probably already forgot about) doesn't cut it.

Don't beat yourself up just use it as a learning experience. Secondly, try and talk to them for a little bit longer before trying to make your move. :huh:

[jaguarr]

I have a buddy who's entire dating career consisted of frequenting restaurants and bars where there was a waitress or two that he liked quite a bit, trying to get to know them enough to ask them out. It actually bordered on stalking. He spent an assload of money of food and drinks and only very rarely actually got a date with one of these girls, all of which wound up being ginormous failures. His problem wasn't that he wasn't a good guy, introverted or socially challenged, he was just too much of a "nice guy" (the kind that will let women walk all over them to the point that they won't respect them). He had a talent for picking girlfriends that treated him like crap, stole from him, cheated on him and were generally psychopaths. Now he's married to a girl from college that he's been madly in love with for years. She's a former stripper and escort (supposedly...I hear she's still working) who probably saw an instant babysitter in my friend for her two kids from different dads, one of which has been trying like crazy to get custody of his daughter (so I'm sure being married again has helped her retain custody as well). She blew his life savings on their ridiculous wedding and all the fancy rings and crap she wanted (to the tune of about $40k worth of wedding and honeymoon in Mexico). He does whatever the f**k she tells him to because he's a big pussy when it comes to women (and this guy is 6'5" of badass, which makes it even more laughable). When he looks at her, I see a guy madly in love. When she looks at him, I see a practical woman who saw someone convenient with a steady paycheck to be a daddy for her kids, whom she'd conveniently be able to keep if she were married. I'm certain she'll squeeze a kid out for him to lock him in good and tight for alimony and then divorce him in five years or less and take him for all he's worth. All he's wanted for years was to be loved by someone and his bad decisions and willingness to overlook blatant problems with someone in exchange for that will ultimately leave him very, very unhappy.

My point with this diatribe? Don't let desperation drive your dating and relationship decisions. If you can't be comfortable being alone, you sure as hell aren't going to be comfortable being with anyone else.

jag

[kainedamo]

First off the girl sounds like a b'tch.

She's in customer service, she should have taken the few minutes to talk to you even if it was a fake question.

Honestly, from the scenario you just made, you had no shot at this girl and you would have completely put her on the spot with that question. It'd be different if you had a couple of conversations with her. But, her ringing you up once (which she probably already forgot about) doesn't cut it.

Don't beat yourself up just use it as a learning experience. Secondly, try and talk to them for a little bit longer before trying to make your move. :huh:

Her ringing me once? What?

I agree with you about talking to girls longer before making my move. In this situation, I couldn't figure out a way of doing that without having to go to the store again and again which would be weird.

[kainedamo]

My point with this diatribe? Don't let desperation drive your dating and relationship decisions. If you can't be comfortable being alone, you sure as hell aren't going to be comfortable being with anyone else.

jag

I can be comfortable alone. I just can't be comfortable alone for months and months (and now years). I see my buddy going on trips with his girlfriend, and I wish I could do that.

[jaguarr]

I can be comfortable alone. I just can't be comfortable alone for months and months (and now years). I see my buddy going on trips with his girlfriend, and I wish I could do that.

Then ultimately you really aren't comfortable being alone, are you? It's fine to want love and all that comes with it, but when you want it to the point that it drives you to desperation, you'll find yourself making bad decisions.

jag

[Erzengel]

"To make a long story short....."

Too late. :csad:

I've told this story before of a friend who had his first girlfriend, got engaged, married and became a father within 3 years. Not that I feel he was settling, but this guy was looking for love but when he finally found someone to love, she essentially wears the pants in that relationship. But unlike jag's story, she really does love the guy.

The point of my story is I think he was so desperate to be in a relationship, he proposed within like 3 months, got married a year later, got pregnant 2 months after the honeymoon. This guy never dated and in a span of 2 years was a husband and father. Just always seemed like a lot to me.

You'd be surprised what can happen if you let desperation and just let this fantasy of what a relationship could be drive you.

[kainedamo]

Then ultimately you really aren't comfortable being alone, are you? It's fine to want love and all that comes with it, but when you want it to the point that it drives you to desperation, you'll find yourself making bad decisions.

jag

Can many people be truelly comfortable alone though?

How can I be comfortable alone for 3 years? I don't wanna sound dramatic or anything but I just don't know how I can do it. I can be fine for a week, two weeks, two months... but sooner or later I'll think "okay... I'm ready to date someone now..." and the cycle will begin again.

[Erzengel]

Her ringing me once? What?
My mistake, I think I assumed "Zelda Pin" girl rang you up once and that's when you started taking a shine to her. Actually it's a little bit more sad now, that you wanted to ask her out without even having 1 decent conversation with her.


I agree with you about talking to girls longer before making my move. In this situation, I couldn't figure out a way of doing that without having to go to the store again and again which would be weird.
It's always a case by case scenario. If you never met the girl before today, just by that short brush off she gave you I could honestly say, you never had a shot.

I mean if you were there and she had a little back and forth, you told a joke and she laughed, that'd be different.

Not that people haven't had the success of asking a complete stranger out, you kinda know when you have a shot or not.

[Erzengel]

Can many people be truelly comfortable alone though?

How can I be comfortable alone for 3 years? I don't wanna sound dramatic or anything but I just don't know how I can do it. I can be fine for a week, two weeks, two months... but sooner or later I'll think "okay... I'm ready to date someone now..." and the cycle will begin again.
I think you have to put yourself in more "social" situations instead of going to random strangers hoping one will say yes.

Clubs, Community Gatherings, etc.

If those don't work, may I suggest trying online dating services. And not myspace, facebook or whatever they have over there. I mean actual ones you have to pay for. Because those people on those services, are for the most part serious about dating.

[kainedamo]

My mistake, I think I assumed "Zelda Pin" girl rang you up once and that's when you started taking a shine to her. Actually it's a little bit more sad now, that you wanted to ask her out without even having 1 decent conversation with her.

Lots of people have had success asking out strangers.

[Erzengel]

Like I said, it's a case by case basis, and from what you told me, you didn't have a shot whether it was the attitude of the girl or the fact that you had no real opening.

[kainedamo]

My opening kind of sucked. It may have went down slightly better had she not been on her way to lunch and had she been there on her own. But maybe you're right and I wouldn't have had a shot with her anyway.

[Erzengel]

I really don't think bars, and the club scene may be your thing given your admitted unsuccessful endeavors there. I really think you should do more community, club (non dance ones) and if that doesn't work out, online.