*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[jaguarr]

Can many people be truelly comfortable alone though?

How can I be comfortable alone for 3 years? I don't wanna sound dramatic or anything but I just don't know how I can do it. I can be fine for a week, two weeks, two months... but sooner or later I'll think "okay... I'm ready to date someone now..." and the cycle will begin again.

I think you have to put yourself in more "social" situations instead of going to random strangers hoping one will say yes.

Clubs, Community Gatherings, etc.

If those don't work, may I suggest trying online dating services. And not myspace, facebook or whatever they have over there. I mean actual ones you have to pay for. Because those people on those services, are for the most part serious about dating.

I agree with Erz. Being "alone" just means being single. It doesn't mean being isolated and never going out with your mates or meeting new people. It DOES mean doing all of those things and just enjoying them for what they are, an integral part of your life. Instead of going to parties thinking "I want to meet a woman while I'm at this party!" go with the attitude that you're just going to have a good time and enjoy yourself, your friends, and any new people you meet. If you do meet women at a party or other social outing, maybe try regarding them as people first and get to know them on that level a little bit before you start sizing them up for dates. If you immediately size someone up as a potential mate the moment you meet them, that's a big warning sign that desperation is driving the boat. You can find someone attractive upon first introduction, but forgoing knowing anything about them or whether you even get on well with them or not so you can set the goal of going out with them is insane (and desperate). If you always have the expectation, when you go out to anything, that you'll hopefully meet a woman who will instanly think you are just the most awesome man on the planet and want to jump your bones right then and there, you will constantly be disappointed (and if you DO meet a woman like that, be afraid because she's a nutjob with some serious desperation and co-dependency issues of her own).

It takes time to get to know people enough to know whether you're compatible enough to go out. That doesn't mean you have to be their best friend before you try to take things to that level, but at least be pretty familiar with them and have some idea whether there's some chemistry there or not. Appreciate them as a person and friend, first. If it turns out you're compatible, great, then perhaps things will evolve naturally from there. If not, then you've got a new friend (and female friends have a way of introducing you to some of their other female friends, one of which might be a good fit for you). It's about networking. And Erz's suggestion to join a club based around something that interests you is a good one. Maybe it's chess, or bicycling or bowling or whatever. If it's something you have a passion for or even something you've really wanted to learn how to do, then you've already got something in common and a basis for forming new friendships and possibly even a romantic link at some point. As an example, I have a buddy who moved from Maryland to Phoenix for his job. Didn't know a soul. So, he joined an Adventure Club. They went on hikes, whitewater rafting, skiing, jumped out of perfectly good airplanes and that sort of thing. Sort of a thrill-seekers group of people that were in his age group. He made a ton of friends that way and met more than a few women he hit it off with in the process. The point is, he was having fun and didn't expect anything more than to have fun and make some new friends. He wasn't fixated on always making everything about finding a woman.

jag

[kainedamo]

Concerning the event today, I feel a lot better now. After it initially I felt quite crappy but now it hardly matters.

As for community stuff or club stuff. Local community stuff isn't an option... it isn't. As for the wider Belfast area, I could see what's out there. I need to find something that isn't male dominated. Maybe I'll meet more girls when I start a new course in september. I'll see.

[Immortalfire]

Casey has stalkers that she keeps like pets, November Rain wants to bang a retarded girl, and Kaine still can't get laid. That's about it.

jag

Just another day at the office.

[jaguarr]

Concerning the event today, I feel a lot better now. After it initially I felt quite crappy but now it hardly matters.

As for community stuff or club stuff. Local community stuff isn't an option... it isn't. As for the wider Belfast area, I could see what's out there. I need to find something that isn't male dominated. Maybe I'll meet more girls when I start a new course in september. I'll see.

Maybe you should focus on doing things that interest you that you'll really enjoy, regardless of whether you'll meet girls not. I get the sense that a lot of what you do is specifically geared towards the goal of "must meet woman!" and you're really just setting yourself up for disappointment with that mentality.

jag

[Superman79]

Concerning the event today, I feel a lot better now. After it initially I felt quite crappy but now it hardly matters.

As for community stuff or club stuff. Local community stuff isn't an option... it isn't. As for the wider Belfast area, I could see what's out there. I need to find something that isn't male dominated. Maybe I'll meet more girls when I start a new course in september. I'll see.

Community theater or a community choir...both great places to meet women :up:

[DV8]

Kaine, take a dance class . . . chicks galore, and you could pry stand to learn some dance moves . . . just a wild guess

[kainedamo]

I've got horrible coordination on account of dyspraxia.

[DV8]

^even more the reason to take a dance class!!! seriously dude, it would give you the one thing you need the most: CONFIDENCE . . . ladies like men who can dance . . . at least here in America . . . stop holding yourself back

if you don't want to learn, you never will . . . anyway, maybe if not dancing, take a martial art or something, but I'd still recommend dancing . . .

[jaguarr]

Guess what? If you believe you are horribly coordinated, you will be. If you believe that you are terrible with women, you will be. If you believe that you are miserable without a significant other, you will be. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Congratulations, Nostradamus. :up:

jag

[Immortalfire]

ladies like men who can dance

What about guys who can't dance, but do it anyway? Do the ladies like them?

[The Original Bamfer]

What about guys who can't dance, but do it anyway? Do the ladies like them?

'Fire, how many times do I have to tell you? The ladies love us!

[Immortalfire]

'Fire, how many times do I have to tell you? The ladies love us!

Excellent :up:

Next time I see da ladies, I'll bust a move right there. Hawt?

[DV8]

yes . . . they love to laugh at you . . . and thanks, you make the rest of us who can just dance mediocre look all that much better!! :cool:

seriously Kaine, jag speaks the truth (again) . . . I mean, you just ooze self-loathing . . . so stop that already, okay?? start by changing avvys . . . . :rolleyes:

[Immortalfire]

Are you telling me dancing like this isn't a chick magnet?

http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f85/30643/dancingSpidey.gif

[The Original Bamfer]

Excellent :up:

Next time I see da ladies, I'll bust a move right there. Hawt?

Just like I taught you. :up:

[uchiha_itachi]

mmm im not really into doing this but...if a girl is more experienced than you should you tell them or just wing it?

[DV8]

^I would tell her . . . she might be very open to teaching you all kinds of nastay thangs :cool: plus, you don't want to ummmm . . . put it in the wrong, you know . . . in the butthole :~S

[Erzengel]

I think the first time when you are trying to put your penis in her ear, she's going to figure it out. :huh:

[Immortalfire]

I think the first time when you are trying to put your penis in her ear, she's going to figure it out. :huh:

*wipes spit off monitor*

:lmao:

[uchiha_itachi]

Im not a virgin i know where things go lol it just so happens that some girl im taking out next week is more experienced than me lol and i dont know whether to tell her or wing it.

[kainedamo]

Guess what? If you believe you are horribly coordinated, you will be. If you believe that you are terrible with women, you will be. If you believe that you are miserable without a significant other, you will be. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Congratulations, Nostradamus. :up:

jag

Even my doctor said I shouldn't have a bike :huh:

[Erzengel]

I'm sure many girls are understanding and some might even find it cute or endearing but I wouldn't come out and say it. What type of relationship is this? Just a fling or a long lasting relationship.

You said it yourself you aren't a virgin so you are somewhat familiar with female anatomy.

Also, just because she's been with more guys than you have been with women, doesn't make her more experienced. In the sense of knowing what to do. For all you know she could just lay there.

Read her body language, listen to how she breathes and go from there. I'm sure you will do fine.

[DV8]

edit

[DV8]

Im not a virgin i know where things go lol it just so happens that some girl im taking out next week is more experienced than me lol and i dont know whether to tell her or wing it.

^heh . . . I figured that much; just making a funny :hehe:
you're college age, right?? I mean, how experienced is she?? are you worried about the difference in experience for some reason? do you want to put it in the butt?? cuz if so, I can get you there . . . :up:

[uchiha_itachi]

^heh . . . I figured that much; just making a funny :hehe:
you're college age, right?? I mean, how experienced is she?? are you worried about the difference in experience for some reason? do you want to put it in the butt?? cuz if so, I can get you there . . . :up:

im not really a in the butt guy lol it dont do anything for me

im over collage age...shes a year younger i kindda didnt want to get to this at all. but put it this way im not a virgin but im not confident at sex where as from the info i have gathered she is.

EDIT: i have to add im confindent at the other stuff but not the main event so to speak

[jaguarr]

Even my doctor said I shouldn't have a bike :huh:

F**k your doctor. You can do and be anything you want to be if you're willing to work for it.

jag

[kainedamo]

I bought a bike a year ago and was crazy on it. I crashed into a wall and almost crashed into a kid. I sold the bike. With practice I could probably have had it down. It's possible I have esteem issues, telling myself I can't do certain things.

[DV8]

im not really a in the butt guy lol it dont do anything for me

im over collage age...shes a year younger i kindda didnt want to get to this at all. but put it this way im not a virgin but im not confident at sex where as from the info i have gathered she is.

EDIT: i have to add im confindent at the other stuff but not the main event so to speak

ok, so what I think you should do is, in so many words, hint at the fact that you're not as experienced; but be subtle . . . then when the call for duty 'arises', handle your business in the foreplay area . . . you're gonna want to get her close to the point of eruption so that once you get in there, PA-POW!!

oh, and do you mean that you lose your load too fast?? :O

if so, don't be embarrassed, man . . . it happens . . . just make sure you clean the pipes a few times before the big day . . . and also, feel free to deny that all you want ;)

[kainedamo]

Yeah thats another thing I'm worried about. I've only had sex once. Years ago. And it sucked. I'm worried about when I eventually do have a partner how I'm going to perform. I bog myself down with too much negativity. I shouldn't worry about it.

[uchiha_itachi]

ok, so what I think you should do is, in so many words, hint at the fact that you're not as experienced; but be subtle . . . then when the call for duty 'arises', handle your business in the foreplay area . . . you're gonna want to get her close to the point of eruption so that once you get in there, PA-POW!!

oh, and do you mean that you lose your load too fast?? :O

if so, don't be embarrassed, man . . . it happens . . . just make sure you clean the pipes a few times before the big day . . . and also, feel free to deny that all you want ;)

nah im not worried about that tbh, just doin a good job lol but i reckon it will be fine, ill just do my thing then for the main event ill wing it and play it by ear. the girl in question is actually one of my ex's so that should make it easier also

thanks for the advice though, i normally hate doing the whole asking for help online but it wernt to bad. im feeling alot better bout the whole thing.

[DV8]

^exactly!! you should NOT worry about it, KD . . . now you're starting to catch on . . .

anyway, if I were you, KD . . . I would start to chat up girls like I was drinking water; not that you're trying to sleep w/ any or all of them, but it'll help get you comfortable w/ the opposite sex . . .

oh yeah, and go get it on w/ a chubby girl if you need to . . . sometimes we need to cut corners :O

edit: sorry kd, my original response said you should worry about it, but I meant you should NOT

[DV8]

nah im not worried about that tbh, just doin a good job lol but i reckon it will be fine, ill just do my thing then for the main event ill wing it and play it by ear

cool . . . I 'get you' wink, wink; no need to 'worry bout that' wink Lol!! just kidding . . .

yeah man, just do your thang w/ your wang . . . throw in some jabs and crosses . . . and at some point throw in that move like you're trying to spin a hula-hoop . . . that's one of my faves . . . and if you absolutely want to amaze and astonish, there's always the 8-count technique . . . but be careful, some *****es have been known to fall in love after that manuever . . .

[uchiha_itachi]

lol that sounds interesting, if i google it will it come up

[jaguarr]

I bought a bike a year ago and was crazy on it. I crashed into a wall and almost crashed into a kid. I sold the bike. With practice I could probably have had it down. It's possible I have esteem issues, telling myself I can't do certain things.


If you decide you can't do something, guess what? You can't. Decide you can and be determined to do it no matter how much time and practice it takes and it's a whole different story. You're a walking thesis on self-defeat, dude. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't do, be or achieve something. Anyone who tells you otherwise can go rot.

jag

[uchiha_itachi]

wise words

[DV8]

lol that sounds interesting, if i google it will it come up

hahaha, no I don't think so . . .

[uchiha_itachi]

DV8 is the man and i dont care who knows it lol

[DV8]

^:D I'm telling you man, that's the only move you need to know . . . but remember, with great power comes great cock-a-bility :lmao:

[uchiha_itachi]

lol i shall use it wisely :D

[Erzengel]

A little Erz-trivia. The girl I lost my virginity to, was my first girlfriend and I told her I wasn't a virgin. :o

I told her late on during a semi argument. She didn't notice, I'm sure you'll be fine.

[Superman79]

Really, people a lot dumber than us have been "mating" for centuries without much problem dealing with the "main event"...I think you'll be fine UI...just go with your gut, and like Erz said earlier...PAY ATTENTION to the girl and her reactions, its amazing how her reactions to you and what you do serve as a natural GPS to point where you need to go/what you need to do next :up:

[danb26]

^. . . I would start to chat up girls like I was drinking water; not that you're trying to sleep w/ any or all of them, but it'll help get you comfortable w/ the opposite sex . . .

oh yeah, and go get it on w/ a chubby girl if you need to . . . sometimes we need to cut corners :O



Definitely on just talking to girls, I wish I'd learnt that earlier in life...i.e. at school where saying hello to a girl I even just slightly liked made me incapable of speaking....however, the last few years where I worked out just chatting rubbish and getting to understand more....works a treat!

Plus, I've got a stunning lady with me now.

PLUS...Lmao!!! At you 'chubby girl' reference, it's so mean...but I did laugh...heh!

[amazingfantasy15]

So the girl at the store I was considering asking out. I tried asking her out today and failed.

I went into the store and saw her working. I had a plan in my head that I would ask her what Nintendo Wii games are worth buying. I had previously seen her wearing a Legend of Zelda pin, so I figured she may have some interest in this and it would be a perfectly harmless customer kind of question and perfect for building up a conversation.

There were too many damn staff about. 4 staff people and they were all going back and forth unpacking boxes. I thought it would be impossible to get her on her own. I looked through some games while having a look every minute or so to see where she was. When the other staff members were elsewhere I finally walked over to her direction, then some staff guy popped out of nowhere and talked to her, so I grabbed a game and looked at the back cover all inconspicuous. At this point I decided I should probably just leave. She disappeared upstairs and after a minute or so was back down, walking towards the stairs to go down, she had a bag over her shoulder so obviously it was either the end of her shift or her lunch break. I thought it would be now or never, so before she passed me I turned around and started talking.

"Hey, I wanted to ask about the Wii".
"Um, what did you want to ask?"
"I got a Wii recently and was wondering what you thought would be the best games".
"Um... could you ask that guy over there? I'm going on my lunch break".
"Yeah, that's fine, no problem".

I'm such a ****ing jerk. In order to not look like a stalker psychopath, I hung around the store for another minute before leaving. I sat down at some benches outside and thought about what an ass I was. Immediately I thought of other things I could have said.

"Where are you going for lunch?"
"Do you mind if I join you for lunch?" *hurl*
"Actually I wasn't really interested in the games but I wanted to ask you out" *hurl*

I dunno. I think anything I said at that point would have just been weird and awkward.

I felt really quite disheartened by the experience. First of all I was quite surprised at how nervous I was when I was hanging around the store. And second of all of course disappointed that I wasn't able to follow through properly. I'll never be able to try that again with her. Definately not. Too weird.

I was thinking, there seems to be a fine line between asking out a total stranger and coming across as a weird creepy stalker guy.

I felt quite bad. I wouldn't feel so bad if I haven't been single for so long. But I can't help but feeling I'm in a pattern of failure with women that I just can't shake off. I've learned alot over just the last couple of years about where I've been going wrong in the past. I've learned to stop using excuses. I can be confident, I can be funny at a party, I believe I'm reasonably attractive... I just can't seem to make anything happen for myself. The number one problem is that I don't meet enough people. Besides that, I don't know... ****. ********************** You have no idea how silly I feel being 24 and feeling like this.

You really didn't have much of a chance in that situation. I wouldn't consider her a b*tch or anything, she was on her way to lunch, there were three other people working and you were just some random customer. Asking her out then and there most likely wouldn't have worked.

Whatever happened to you friend's friend? At least you know that girl a little bit right.

You've also gotta stop making excuses for trying something new like clubs and things. Nothing's ever gonna change if you keep making excuses for things to not change.

[Banquet]

Its sucks that the timing was so bad for meeting that girl, kainedemo.

It's difficult to ask stangers out (well, for most people), so don't be too hard on yourself for it! Maybe you missed this opportunity, but there will be more if you do go out and meet more people. I congradulate you for trying and just take it as a learning experience.

[Starbird]

Ok, two-part question.

Since I have a girlfriend now, since about July 1st, I have looked at porn..but I'm not interested in it like I used too be..but I don't get aroused as easily as I did when I didn't have a girlfriend..so question is. Is this normal?

Now that I don't get aroused over porn..but I easily get aroused when I'm spooning/cuddling with my girlfriend..is that normal?

[Rando Aces]

Ok, two-part question.

Since I have a girlfriend now, since about July 1st, I have looked at porn..but I'm not interested in it like I used too be..but I don't get aroused as easily as I did when I didn't have a girlfriend..so question is. Is this normal?

Now that I don't get aroused over porn..but I easily get aroused when I'm spooning/cuddling with my girlfriend..is that normal?

you are digusting.

[Starbird]

Rando...I love you.

You're disgusting..you ass.:)

[amazingfantasy15]

Ok, two-part question.

Since I have a girlfriend now, since about July 1st, I have looked at porn..but I'm not interested in it like I used too be..but I don't get aroused as easily as I did when I didn't have a girlfriend..so question is. Is this normal?

Now that I don't get aroused over porn..but I easily get aroused when I'm spooning/cuddling with my girlfriend..is that normal?

This is no where near normal, you should never find real girls more arrousing than girls on magazine pages. My suggestion dump your girlfriend now, you might she'll never satisify the way your hand and a magazine can.

[Gilpesh]

This is no where near normal, you should never find real girls more arrousing than girls on magazine pages. My suggestion dump your girlfriend now, you might she'll never satisify the way your hand and a magazine can.

QFMFT

You need to get rid of that she-devil before she ruins your porn forever.

[Starbird]

This is no where near normal, you should never find real girls more arrousing than girls on magazine pages. My suggestion dump your girlfriend now, you might she'll never satisify the way your hand and a magazine can.
Well see..I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not:o BUT I find girls attractive..but that doesn't mean I want too just jerk it right then and there. I still do my fair share of my 'right-hand workout' but I don't look at porn while doing it anymore. I just think of her and such.

[Erzengel]

Just to all the people I've given advice to, I'm doing this Survivor Game on the messaboard LeSoftParade LSP.

If it's not too much trouble, could you sign up here (http://www.lesoftparade.com/boards/index.php), and after that, then post in this thread (http://www.lesoftparade.com/boards/showthread.php?t=5866) and say that Erzengel invited you?

I appreciate it guys and possibly girls. Also, if you are reading this post and it's past 6:30 pm on Monday, EST, don't bother as that is the deadline for this Survivor Challenge.

Thanks in advance everyone. :)

[jaguarr]

Ok, two-part question.

Since I have a girlfriend now, since about July 1st, I have looked at porn..but I'm not interested in it like I used too be..but I don't get aroused as easily as I did when I didn't have a girlfriend..so question is. Is this normal?

Now that I don't get aroused over porn..but I easily get aroused when I'm spooning/cuddling with my girlfriend..is that normal?

Congratulations. You find real, live women more exciting than porn. I'd say that's probably not a bad thing.

jag

[Starbird]

Coming from you Jag, that makes me feel good.

[Savage]

Hey, things are kind of one sided with my situation. Not that the feelings aren't reciprocated, they are, but this girl is just the ultimate shy type. I'm pretty much left talking the whole time (hate that since I myself am shy) and whenever I ask questions she doesn't elaborate more beyond the usual "yes, no, I don't know." and complete with lots of giggling.

I honestly just don't know what to do here. It's difficult as all heck to get this girl to open up and really do anything more than laugh at my jokes and smile. A lot of guys would love that. Me not so much. I want some back and forth conversation.

[Mac_Hine]

Oooh. I can't really help on that one. I usually just move on from those type of girls because you do have do all that work. I screen then right off the bat by teasing them and see how they respond. I look for girls who are fun, tease back and forth and are not so damn shy.

[kainedamo]

Hey, things are kind of one sided with my situation. Not that the feelings aren't reciprocated, they are, but this girl is just the ultimate shy type. I'm pretty much left talking the whole time (hate that since I myself am shy) and whenever I ask questions she doesn't elaborate more beyond the usual "yes, no, I don't know." and complete with lots of giggling.

I honestly just don't know what to do here. It's difficult as all heck to get this girl to open up and really do anything more than laugh at my jokes and smile. A lot of guys would love that. Me not so much. I want some back and forth conversation.

I would suggest that you move on. Not a lot of guys would have the patience with that. If you're hoping to change her, that's not going to happen. If you're a big fan of mousy introverted girls that don't talk until you talk and give one word answers then this is the girl for you. Me personally, I've been in this situation and I found it extremely annoying. If you want back and forth conversation, find a girl that will give you that.

[Erzengel]

Hey, things are kind of one sided with my situation. Not that the feelings aren't reciprocated, they are, but this girl is just the ultimate shy type. I'm pretty much left talking the whole time (hate that since I myself am shy) and whenever I ask questions she doesn't elaborate more beyond the usual "yes, no, I don't know." and complete with lots of giggling.

I honestly just don't know what to do here. It's difficult as all heck to get this girl to open up and really do anything more than laugh at my jokes and smile. A lot of guys would love that. Me not so much. I want some back and forth conversation.

I would suggest that you move on. Not a lot of guys would have the patience with that. If you're hoping to change her, that's not going to happen. If you're a big fan of mousy introverted girls that don't talk until you talk and give one word answers then this is the girl for you. Me personally, I've been in this situation and I found it extremely annoying. If you want back and forth conversation, find a girl that will give you that.

Savage, I think Kaine has a point about not being able to change her. But, I advise against just cutting your loses right now. Especially if you only have been on 1 or 2 dates. I suggest another 1 or 2 dates. It might just take her some time to get comfortable before she really opens up. But, if she doesn't at least you've exhausted all of your options. You should really just keep trying to talk to her, but if there is no connection, there's no connection.

[jaguarr]

Hey, things are kind of one sided with my situation. Not that the feelings aren't reciprocated, they are, but this girl is just the ultimate shy type. I'm pretty much left talking the whole time (hate that since I myself am shy) and whenever I ask questions she doesn't elaborate more beyond the usual "yes, no, I don't know." and complete with lots of giggling.

I honestly just don't know what to do here. It's difficult as all heck to get this girl to open up and really do anything more than laugh at my jokes and smile. A lot of guys would love that. Me not so much. I want some back and forth conversation.

How long have you been seeing her? Some people just need a bit of time to built trust, become more comfortable and open up.

jag

[Savage]

About 7 months now going on 8. She was much worse at the beginning but my problem is the progress is too slow (especially considering my last relationship moved too fast). She's opened up just a smidge but having a back and forth conversation should not be a rare thing. It's not what I'm used to and I don't want to give up because she really is a great girl but this is my one issue with her. It's like a miracle when I actually get to sit back and listen for a change.

[jaguarr]

About 7 months now going on 8. She was much worse at the beginning but my problem is the progress is too slow (especially considering my last relationship moved too fast). She's opened up just a smidge but having a back and forth conversation should not be a rare thing. It's not what I'm used to and I don't want to give up because she really is a great girl but this is my one issue with her. It's like a miracle when I actually get to sit back and listen for a change.

Talk to her about it. Clear, open and honest communication with your partner or just go home and rub one out and get on with your day. :up:

jag

[Erzengel]

Agreed. Communication is always key. :up:

[obiwan]

alright so heres me dumb story. i didnt do anything really dirty with her, i just met her that day, and me and this girl were going to see a movie soon after we just met, but i admit i may have gone a little overboard. we were in my car, we talked alot, then i gave her a little massage on her back, then we kissed... and then she kinda leaned on me and we kissed again. all in all, i was pretty sure she was enjoying this, because she gave me NO sign she was feeling bad or uncomfortable. then, like out of the blue, she says she needed to go to the bathroom, and she leaves the car.....and never came back. i find out later at my job, where her mom was working that day (thats how we met, and her mom only worked at my job for just today thankfully), and i found out from my boss that the girl came back upset and said i made her feel uncomfortable and she went home with her mom. now, i didnt at all mean to do this, i thought this was what she wanted to do. most girls ive dated in the past WANT me to kiss them and do all this stuff, or else they feel like i dont like them. personally, i dont like to rush into these kinda things, but from experience, i was pretty sure this was what she wanted to do. she seemed to give out the signals, so when she just ditched me, it got me real confused. i admit, it was my fault as i may have gotten a little carried away too soon on the first date, but why did she act like doing all that stuff was all fine? other girls i was with either say im going too fast or they want it all the way, but this girl didnt give me like any signs. it was just a bad date, lets say, and a confusing one. at least let me know when your feeling uncomfortable, dont just give in and act like your enjoying it, sheesh. girls are so weird.

[Erzengel]

It's a lesson learned. I'm guessing you are younger?

Do people still try and give massages in cars? That just sounds so, sophomoric.

Yeah, don't do that any more and with the girl, there are no set rules. I've had women who would contact me the day after and kinda be regretful of what we did. Different value systems, feeling pressured, and just raised a certain way, you never know how a girl is going to react.

The kissing doesn't sound bad, but the massage? It's so heavy handed blatantly obvious that you were putting the moves on her. :o

The only way, is to use your judgement, and get a feel on a girl but even then, you may not be right 100% of the time. You just have to see how the situation is and improvise.

[obiwan]

It's a lesson learned. I'm guessing you are younger?

Do people still try and give massages in cars? That just sounds so, sophomoric.

Yeah, don't do that any more and with the girl, there are no set rules. I've had women who would contact me the day after and kinda be regretful of what we did. Different value systems, feeling pressured, and just raised a certain way, you never know how a girl is going to react.

The kissing doesn't sound bad, but the massage? It's so heavy handed blatantly obvious that you were putting the moves on her. :o

The only way, is to use your judgement, and get a feel on a girl but even then, you may not be right 100% of the time. You just have to see how the situation is and improvise.


totally agree man. this was really confusing because i was sooo sure she was likeing it, and then like, she didnt? it was just a weird situation, and i guess i got the best of myself. well im 20, and shes 18, and i learned that she had some kinda bad BF's in the past so thats understandable that she would feel uncomfortable. still, i take it as a lesson learned, and not to go in soo fast like that.

[Mac_Hine]

totally agree man. this was really confusing because i was sooo sure she was likeing it, and then like, she didnt? it was just a weird situation, and i guess i got the best of myself. well im 20, and shes 18, and i learned that she had some kinda bad BF's in the past so thats understandable that she would feel uncomfortable. still, i take it as a lesson learned, and not to go in soo fast like that.
I'm thinking she was attracted to you but you moved in too quick. You probably didn't have enough comfort, trust and rappore with her yet so she felt unconfortable and left. You should start with quick, sorta accidental light touches on her arm and shoulders and then slowly move to hand holding, hugging etc. You know, sorta like a ladder. Slowly move up this ladder throughout the date. Then kissing won't be this big, akward deal. That has worked for me.

[obiwan]

another word of advice: NEVER try to be friends with a girl you secretly love. it just hurts you in the end, because you never want to get into the "friend" zone. it just.....sucks. not that it just happened or anything, but it has happened and its just pointless. if a girl says she just wants to be friends, reply with "i have enough friends, i wasnt looking for another, i was looking for a relationship but if you dont want that, then i dont think theres a point to hanging out because it will just hurt me more".

heres a little comic i found that sums up WHY you should never try to be friends with a girl you secretly like (although the comic seems to indicate that you SHOULD, but please, dont):

http://www.gurl.com/showoff/comix/pages/1,,714667-1,00.html

[Erzengel]

obiwan, that's almost a right of passage for most guys. It's something that almost can't be taught, but just learned through experience. Now just apply that to future relationships and you'll be set.

[Hobgoblin]

Is it strange to ask out a newspaper columnist whom you've never met but enjoy her Elements of the Ridiculous column?

[obiwan]

obiwan, that's almost a right of passage for most guys. It's something that almost can't be taught, but just learned through experience. Now just apply that to future relationships and you'll be set.


yeah, sometimes. but i dunno, if you show that your interested in a girl and lets say you go out on a date with her, and then she does the whole "im not ready to date anyone right now, but if you wanna hang out as friends..." then for me, its like hell no, i have enough friends and i only really liked you in that way. if anything i would probably ask if she could see us possibly dateing one day in the near future and she says no, then shes a lost cause and its time to move on.

[BRUTAL]

There are no women that have straight male friends that do not want to sleep with them.

[Dkim]

There are no women that have straight male friends that do not want to sleep with them.

That's not true.

[BRUTAL]

How's the weather in Naiveland this time of year? I hear it's humid...

[JP]

There are no women that have straight male friends that do not want to sleep with them.

Quite possibly the stupidest thing I've read all day. Thank you, sir.

[Dkim]

How's the weather in Naiveland this time of year? I hear it's humid...

Come on I'm naive for saying that, I have friends that I'm surely sure that they are not attracted to me. Not everything is black and white.

[BRUTAL]

Quite possibly the stupidest thing I've read all day. Thank you, sir.
... said the gay guy.
Come on I'm naive for saying that, I have friends that I'm surely sure that they are not attracted to me. Not everything is black and white.
So you're ugly is what you're saying? Even if you are, there are guys that'd want to sleep with you, and if they cant do it off the bat they'll be your "friend" until they convince you, or until you get drunk enough to make that mistake. Why do you think men stay in the "friend zone"? Do you think they enjoy being friends with someone they want to bang? They're waiting...

Also, run-on sentence of the year. :up:

[Dkim]

... said the gay guy.

So you're ugly is what you're saying? Even if you are, there are guys that'd want to sleep with you, and if they cant do it off the bat they'll be your "friend" until they convince you, or until you get drunk enough to make that mistake. Why do you think men stay in the "friend zone"? Do you think they enjoy being friends with someone they want to bang? They're waiting...

Also, run-on sentence of the year. :up:

Jeez can you let your mind speak now instead of your dick.

[BRUTAL]

Jeez can you let your mind speak now instead of your dick.

Or I could be honest about it and not be a child.

[Eggyman]

I have girl friends that aren't ugly (neither is Dkim BTW - photo thread :eek: - that's if she IS actually a girl :o) that I don't want to sex on - and I know I could have at some points. Point being, I don't do too bad so have options enough to not ruin a friendship for a ****.

[BRUTAL]

It's not about "options" it's about attraction. Ugh, I had forgotten how blindly ignorant this place is.

[Eggyman]

Just because they way I see the subject differs from the way you do does not make it ignorant. I can find someone attractive without having to **** them. And yes, I can be attracted to someone and decide it would be for the best if nothing happens. The options ease the blow.

[Erzengel]

So if any of your female friends "threw" themselves at you, drunk or sober, you would push them away on principle?

[kainedamo]

They would likely push YOU away on principle, if they're just your friend. So whats the difference?

[Eggyman]

So if any of your female friends "threw" themselves at you, drunk or sober, you would push them away on principle?

No. It's never that simple, and I can't be sure what would happen in the heat of the moment. In the past I've had time to think about it, and I decided that it would be for the best if nothing happened. Sure, I would have liked to sleep with them, but I used a little restraint because I knew it would probably end badly.

[Erzengel]

But you still considered it. :o

I've had a few female "friends" and usually by circumstance they were off limits, but I don't think I ever had a female friend I wouldn't have slept with.

Which brings us full circle.

[Eggyman]

Course I considered it. And yes, circumstances on my part and on theirs were some of the reasons why I decided that it was best left alone.

[obiwan]

There are no women that have straight male friends that do not want to sleep with them.


i mostly agree with this, unless the girl is fat or something, and even then, some weird guys will find that hot:oldrazz:


ive never been able to have a good female friend because either i will eventually (if not already) get attracted to them, or they will get attracted to me and it makes me feel uneasy. i met this girl once, thought she was nice but i got that she liked me in that way, and she was kinda overwieght so i couldnt see myself likeing her in that way, so basically i wound up not being friends with her because i didnt like her in the same way she liked me. it can happen with guys too, if the girl is not your type.

[Erzengel]

Course I considered it. And yes, circumstances on my part and on theirs were some of the reasons why I decided that it was best left alone.
I'm just curious though, when you decided against it is in terms of dating or sleeping with her?

[JayCaz]

I was always of the impression that a straight guy could not be friends with a straight girl without having alterior motives. I moved in with a female friend of mine (who is a hot exotic dancer) in 2006 & ended up living with her for just under 2 years, before I moved in there had always been alot of flirting between us, but literally the day I moved in I looked at her in a completely different light, it was like she was my sister all of a sudden, I completely shocked myself. We stayed completely platonic for the whole 2 years.

I dated about 5 of her dancer friends during that time, which was a bonus, but when I initially moved in I didn't know that would happen. From day one it was never, ever tense between us. She met the guy she's still with now while we were living together, and we're still really good friends.

[Eggyman]

I'm just curious though, when you decided against it is in terms of dating or sleeping with her?

That's a good question.

It was both, in a way. I've been her friend for years, and as 'just a guy', not her friend, knowing about her relationships with previous guys, I know her to be a bit of a nightmare girlfriend. So I didn't want to be in a relationship with her. I felt like if I did sleep with her, a relationship would be expected - that was never spoken, but I couldn't ignore the likelihood of it considering her history of being fairly clingy.

So, in the end I just decided it would be easier to ignore my lust, find some other 'distraction', and keep that area of my life nice and tidy. (I'd just had a really messy breakup shortly before this, so was just happy to keep my friends as friends, without complications.)

[jaguarr]

I've had (and still have) plenty of female friends I never wanted to nail or date over the course of my life. I've also had plenty of female friends that I DID want to nail or date over the years. Just because a friend is a woman doesn't mean I automatically have ulterior motives about my friendship with her. To be otherwise would be one-dimensional.

jag

[Eggyman]

Nice :up:

[JayCaz]

In my case, I suddenly found myself feeling really proud when my mates would go "you're living together, c'mon spill the beans" and give me a wink & I'd tell them it wasn't like that. It wasn't the way I'd ever envisaged myself being.

[Immortalfire]

A hot college girl took my order at Chick-fil-a yesterday...I think I'm in love :heart: :hehe: :eek:

[rizzo51]

I've had (and still have) plenty of female friends I never wanted to nail or date over the course of my life. I've also had plenty of female friends that I DID want to nail or date over the years. Just because a friend is a woman doesn't mean I automatically have ulterior motives about my friendship with her. To be otherwise would be one-dimensional.

jag

True that! Most of my friends are guys, everyonce in a while one would try to jump the ladder so to speak but for the most part they are genuine friends.

[The Apatow Crew]

A hot college girl took my order at Chick-fil-a yesterday...I think I'm in love :heart: :hehe: :eek:Stop trying to be cool like Ghostrider 87. That only works if she was from hooters and was named carmen.

[Alex The Great]

Ah, Dating. One of the biggest High school woes a teen faces :o.

[Honey Vibe]

I have a question. If your significant other asks "what do you see in me?" ....was a kiss and "I don't know!" a REALLY BAD answer??

I think I just stepped in something here...

[Gilpesh]

It's only really bad depending on the reason for the question.

[Ash J. Williams]

Ah, Dating. One of the biggest High school woes a teen faces :o.
http://www.wikihow.com/Pick-Up-Girls-in-High-School

[kainedamo]

What are some practical solutions for dealing with sexual frustration?

[Swordmaster]

Furious, angry masturbation?

And yes, that is a serious answer.

[Eggyman]

What are some practical solutions for dealing with sexual frustration?

Fapping, sex, or unconsciousness.

[jaguarr]

I have a question. If your significant other asks "what do you see in me?" ....was a kiss and "I don't know!" a REALLY BAD answer??

I think I just stepped in something here...

Yeah, you stepped in something alright. Quicksand. Try not to move too much or you'll only make it worse. By that I mean, I wouldn't bring it up again and see what he does and how he acts over the next little while. If you can find little nonchalant ways to compliment him on something ("I love the way you're so neat and efficient in the kitchen" or "The way you are able to treat everyone around you so well is so beautiful to me") when it's unsolicited and unexpected (and without sounding like you're trying to make up for your previous gaffe), it might help also. When people ask questions like that in a relationship, they're feeling insecure in that relationship and are fishing for compliments or real deep reasons why that person is with them. Sometimes there's a bit of low self-esteem involved as well and they can't believe they're with this amazing, beautiful person because "what could they possibly see in me?" This could also be an indicator of a co-dependent personality. All of these are things to watch out for in the coming weeks to get a better handle on what's driving the need to ask that question in the first place. In the end, you may need to find some ways to open up the communication lines a bit better so insecurities can be discussed openly rather than subversively looking for ways to acquiesce them by asking loaded questions which isn't healthy. Good luck! :up:

jag

[AndThePickles]

I feel a bit odd asking for advice in this thread, but it's late and I honestly have no one to talk to right now. This isn't involving a romantic relationship, rather my relationship with my father and his girlfriend.

To shorten a VERY long story, I have a younger sister who lives with them who pretty much raises holy hell. She's 19 years old, but still the biggest "problem child" I've ever seen. I live with my mother. However, lately I've really felt sucked into my father and his gf's problems with my sister.

Tonight, my sister pretty much ran away and tried to drive over my dad's girlfriend. My dad called me. Then his gf called me, and I'm pretty sure she was drunk. She went on and on asking me for advice, and then started getting really weird...(I'm assuming because of the alcohol). She told me a few times over the phone tonight that when she first met me (this was a few years ago) she thought I was a spoiled brat and she's glad I've matured so much. I got rather upset, but chose not to say anything, because a)She is nuts about my dad and cannot possibly understand the fact that when she first met me, my father and I had an awful relationship and he was not acting like the adult, so I often got frustrated with him. She mentioned some incident that I don't recall about me telling him that he needed to go grocery shopping because there was no food for my grandmother to eat, and she couldn't believe I spoke to him that way. b) If she WAS drunk, she's obviously being a bit too loose with her tongue.

At any rate, I don't know what to do. Things like this are occurring more frequently, and I don't like being dragged into these situations. I don't feel comfortable telling my father what she said to me, because he'd just go blab to her. I'd also feel awkward bringing it up to her again.

[AndThePickles]

What are some practical solutions for dealing with sexual frustration?

Contrary to popular belief, do NOT masturbate like crazy...that'll just make things worse. You need to convert all that frustration into energy for something else. Find some new hobbies, or work out in the gym.

[amazingfantasy15]

I feel a bit odd asking for advice in this thread, but it's late and I honestly have no one to talk to right now. This isn't involving a romantic relationship, rather my relationship with my father and his girlfriend.

To shorten a VERY long story, I have a younger sister who lives with them who pretty much raises holy hell. She's 19 years old, but still the biggest "problem child" I've ever seen. I live with my mother. However, lately I've really felt sucked into my father and his gf's problems with my sister.

Tonight, my sister pretty much ran away and tried to drive over my dad's girlfriend. My dad called me. Then his gf called me, and I'm pretty sure she was drunk. She went on and on asking me for advice, and then started getting really weird...(I'm assuming because of the alcohol). She told me a few times over the phone tonight that when she first met me (this was a few years ago) she thought I was a spoiled brat and she's glad I've matured so much. I got rather upset, but chose not to say anything, because a)She is nuts about my dad and cannot possibly understand the fact that when she first met me, my father and I had an awful relationship and he was not acting like the adult, so I often got frustrated with him. She mentioned some incident that I don't recall about me telling him that he needed to go grocery shopping because there was no food for my grandmother to eat, and she couldn't believe I spoke to him that way. b) If she WAS drunk, she's obviously being a bit too loose with her tongue.

At any rate, I don't know what to do. Things like this are occurring more frequently, and I don't like being dragged into these situations. I don't feel comfortable telling my father what she said to me, because he'd just go blab to her. I'd also feel awkward bringing it up to her again.

So what are you asking advice about your sister or your dad's girlfriend?

[AndThePickles]

So what are you asking advice about your sister or your dad's girlfriend?

I guess it's mainly advice about what to do with this "getting stuck in the middle" situation that I want, as well as advice about his girlfriend. There's really nothing I can do about my sister.

[amazingfantasy15]

I guess it's mainly advice about what to do with this "getting stuck in the middle" situation that I want, as well as advice about his girlfriend. There's really nothing I can do about my sister.

You should take what your dad's girlfriend said as a compliment, it may seem a little backhanded and mean, but at the heart of it she said she was impressed by how much you've grown up. Plus I'm sure she was a little freaked out having just almost been run over.

As for being stuck in the middle, nothing you can really do about that, I'm in pretty much the same position with my sister, she constantly screws up and my dad calls me to basically vent his frustrations. I think the best thing to do is to try getting through to your sister somehow, otherwise it's only gonna get worse.

[AndThePickles]

I wish I could get through to my sister; I've certainly tried. Nobody knows what to do about her.

[terry78]

You're the older one, right?

[AndThePickles]

You're the older one, right?

Yup. My sister may as well be a stranger to me, though. I haven't lived with her in years and she never wants to talk.

[kainedamo]

Contrary to popular belief, do NOT masturbate like crazy...that'll just make things worse. You need to convert all that frustration into energy for something else. Find some new hobbies, or work out in the gym.

I believe you're right. Masterbating like crazy won't solve the problem. I've been feeling a little down in the dumps, and haven't exercised properly in about 2 weeks, so that could be adding to it. Putting my energy into working out definately sounds like a plan. I've been spending too much time online, I ought to get back into reading.

Sorry to hear about your family issues. All you can do is try and talk with your sister.

[ElToro]

Iam not embarrised to say this but...
I never had a girlfriend in my whole entire life.
18 years of SOLO!!!:hehe:

Sucks to be me,hu?
yea go ahead laugh it up.

[terry78]

Iam not embarrised to say this but...
I never had a girlfriend in my whole entire life.
18 years of SOLO!!!:hehe:

Sucks to be me,hu?
yea go ahead laugh it up.

Har har har.

[SLVRSR4]

Iam not embarrised to say this but...
I never had a girlfriend in my whole entire life.
18 years of SOLO!!!:hehe:

Sucks to be me,hu?
yea go ahead laugh it up.

I just got a girlfriend and I'm 18. I was Han SOLO:o:grin:

[Ash J. Williams]

OK, so the girl I like wants to remain or be single for God knows how long and I feel tempted to flirt with her verbally as well as physically. Am I better off not wasting my time or what?

[BRUTAL]

Have you tried...
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3227/2759623782_e5394edb0c.jpg?v=0
?

[NoName86]

Have you tried...
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3227/2759623782_e5394edb0c.jpg?v=0
?

wow, you + dead horse + club..much? Did you actually save that picture on your computer and all?

lol lame

[Gilpesh]

OK, so the girl I like wants to remain or be single for God knows how long and I feel tempted to flirt with her verbally as well as physically. Am I better off not wasting my time or what?

That "I want to be single" thing is just sort of telling you, 'Thanks but no thanks.' So don't waste your time going after her.

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

^^ Yeah I used to use that line in high school when I would get approached by girls I didn't find were my type. Move on bro, there are many fish in the sea, test the waters.

[Nightmare]

^^ Yeah I used to use that line in high school when I would get approached by girls I didn't find were my type. Move on bro, there are many fish in the sea, test the waters.

Hit up the clubs

[Ash J. Williams]

Have you tried...
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3227/2759623782_e5394edb0c.jpg?v=0
?
:whatever:
That "I want to be single" thing is just sort of telling you, 'Thanks but no thanks.' So don't waste your time going after her.
She didn't tell me face-to-face and it probably doesn't matter, but I found out by keeping up with her MySpace bulletins. Flirting can be harmless, ya know.

^^ Yeah I used to use that line in high school when I would get approached by girls I didn't find were my type. Move on bro, there are many fish in the sea, test the waters.
For me, not at the moment.
Hit up the clubs
Don't think I'm old enough.

[jaguarr]

Hit up the clubs

Clubs are great for tag and release, but you're not going to find a keeper in a club.

jag

[Gilpesh]

She didn't tell me face-to-face and it probably doesn't matter, but I found out by keeping up with her MySpace bulletins.

Ugh... yeah um... it's a good thing she doesn't want to be in a relationship.

Flirting can be harmless, ya know.

Oh I know.

[amazingfantasy15]

:whatever:

She didn't tell me face-to-face and it probably doesn't matter, but I found out by keeping up with her MySpace bulletins. Flirting can be harmless, ya know.

For me, not at the moment.

Don't think I'm old enough.

This is why you fail. Ever think she just puts that on her MySpace so all the creeps/losers on MySpace don't hit on her. I guess the next question is do you actually know this girl outside of MySpace?

[Erzengel]

OK, so the girl I like wants to remain or be single for God knows how long and I feel tempted to flirt with her verbally as well as physically. Am I better off not wasting my time or what?

:whatever:

She didn't tell me face-to-face and it probably doesn't matter, but I found out by keeping up with her MySpace bulletins. Flirting can be harmless, ya know.


For me, not at the moment.

Don't think I'm old enough.

Ugh... yeah um... it's a good thing she doesn't want to be in a relationship.



Oh I know.
I was going to write something until I saw AM15's questions and now I'm curious too, do you only know her from myspace? :huh:

[Ash J. Williams]

I was going to write something until I saw AM15's questions and now I'm curious too, do you only know her from myspace? :huh:
No, I know her in real life as well.

[Erzengel]

Well, my first inclination when you said she doesn't want to date, was to say she probably doesn't want to date you. However, since she didn't directly say that and you only read it from her myspace, what do you have to lose?

[Eggyman]

His sunglasses, hopefully.

[Ash J. Williams]

Well, my first inclination when you said she doesn't want to date, was to say she probably doesn't want to date you. However, since she didn't directly say that and you only read it from her myspace, what do you have to lose?
I haven't asked her out at all, though.

And that's a good point.
His sunglasses, hopefully.
:whatever:

[Erzengel]

I didn't say that you did, but yeah ask her.

[Ghostvirus]

Well it has been over a year since I started this thread. I really hope that it has helped some people. I really appreciate all the people that have given out consistent advice. It is really cool of you, Erz, DV8, Jag, ETC.... Thanks.:up:

[terry78]

In conclusion, the way to get a girl or see if she's interested is to basically go up to one you like, and ask if you can put your wee-wee in her hoo-hoo. Metaphorically speaking.

[Gilpesh]

In conclusion, the way to get a girl or see if she's interested is to basically go up to one you like, and ask if you can put your wee-wee in her hoo-hoo. Metaphorically speaking.

You forgot to mention asking about shooting your goof-juice in her hoo-hah.

[Ash J. Williams]

You guys.

[Nightmare]

You forgot to mention asking about shooting your goof-juice in her hoo-hah.

:ninja:

[kainedamo]

One day I'm going to pull down a girl's panties, and I'm gonna see Rick Astley's face singing "Never gonna give you up".

[Gilpesh]

That or a raccoon will jump out and attack you.

[Superman79]

So I've been gone for a while...someone summarize the shenanigans that have transpired please??

[jaguarr]

One day I'm going to pull down a girl's panties, and I'm gonna see Rick Astley's face singing "Never gonna give you up".

That or a raccoon will jump out and attack you.

Or his time will expire and he'll be out of money. :o

jag

[jaguarr]

So I've been gone for a while...someone summarize the shenanigans that have transpired please??

Ash is stalking some girl on Myspace and kaine....well, he's still kaine.

jag

[Showtime]

So I've been gone for a while...someone summarize the shenanigans that have transpired please??

Turns out Sophia Bush is a guy. That's about it I think?

[amazingfantasy15]

No, I know her in real life as well.

Then pretend you never saw that stuff on MySpace and ask her out. You've got nothing to lose except some wrist exercises.

[Superman79]

Ash is stalking some girl on Myspace and kaine....well, he's still kaine.

jag

Oh, Thanks jag :up:

Turns out Sophia Bush is a guy. That's about it I think?

Showy, I love you like a brother...please don't make me have to kill you

[LastSunrise1981]

As weird as this might sound in this thread, I figured I would ask this question. Do any of you posters feel as though race matters when it comes to a future significant other? Like for instance, in my case, I am an african american male who prefers white women over my own race honestly. I am not going to pretend that I don't because it's the truth.

I'm from California and my parents moved here to South Carolina due to them being in the Air Force. I'm not a country boy or the type of guy who is thuggish, talks in slang, and so forth. I am not saying that I'm better than them or anything, but I do have standards for the type of women that I'm into and the women of my own race just don't do it for me. A lot of them here seem to want the thuggish ones who aren't doing anything with their lives.

My parents said to me that I've just ruled out all black women and I don't think I have. The african american women that I would be into aren't the ones that live here honestly. For me looks are important and for me an ideal african american woman would someone that looks like Beyonce, Rhianna, or even Halle Berry. But as a honest question to everyone on the forum, does race matter to you? Or are you open to women of all colors?

As I said I'm into a woman who knows what she's worth, takes care of herself, is intelligent, speaks properly, is beautiful, honest, and so forth. I got into a debate about it and I thought it would be interesting to share in this thread.

[Savage]

I'm in the same spot that you are. There are very few black women (I don't say African American because that leaves out non-Americans) that are even into the same things that I am farless for being attractive to me. I can't speak for anyone else here but personaly I'm into lighter skin but when it comes down to it that's just a preference. It's all about chemistry for me, regardless of race. I just happen to have more in common with caucasians and asians than I do with my own race. :oldrazz:

[Erzengel]

As weird as this might sound in this thread, I figured I would ask this question. Do any of you posters feel as though race matters when it comes to a future significant other? Like for instance, in my case, I am an african american male who prefers white women over my own race honestly. I am not going to pretend that I don't because it's the truth.

I'm from California and my parents moved here to South Carolina due to them being in the Air Force. I'm not a country boy or the type of guy who is thuggish, talks in slang, and so forth. I am not saying that I'm better than them or anything, but I do have standards for the type of women that I'm into and the women of my own race just don't do it for me. A lot of them here seem to want the thuggish ones who aren't doing anything with their lives.

My parents said to me that I've just ruled out all black women and I don't think I have. The african american women that I would be into aren't the ones that live here honestly. For me looks are important and for me an ideal african american woman would someone that looks like Beyonce, Rhianna, or even Halle Berry. But as a honest question to everyone on the forum, does race matter to you? Or are you open to women of all colors?

As I said I'm into a woman who knows what she's worth, takes care of herself, is intelligent, speaks properly, is beautiful, honest, and so forth. I got into a debate about it and I thought it would be interesting to share in this thread.

I'm in the same spot that you are. There are very few black women (I don't say African American because that leaves out non-Americans) that are even into the same things that I am farless for being attractive to me. I can't speak for anyone else here but personaly I'm into lighter skin but when it comes down to it that's just a preference. It's all about chemistry for me, regardless of race. I just happen to have more in common with caucasians and asians than I do with my own race. :oldrazz:
I'm Asian and White, however, my family leans towards the Asian side more so. But growing up where I did, there was always more white girls than Asian girls.

Also, maybe it had to do that I felt that I was being pushed to be with an Asian girl that I seemed to rebel. To this date, I've still never dated anyone Asian.

But, in the end, the best advice I can give both of you, is you are going to like, who you are going to like, and while I'm not Black and I know certain areas might look down on you dating someone White, you know what it takes for you to be happy and it shouldn't matter to anyone else. Some of you might have it easier than others depending on the area you live. You shouldn't put that much stock in what a girl's color is just who her character is.

[terry78]

As weird as this might sound in this thread, I figured I would ask this question. Do any of you posters feel as though race matters when it comes to a future significant other? Like for instance, in my case, I am an african american male who prefers white women over my own race honestly. I am not going to pretend that I don't because it's the truth.

I'm from California and my parents moved here to South Carolina due to them being in the Air Force. I'm not a country boy or the type of guy who is thuggish, talks in slang, and so forth. I am not saying that I'm better than them or anything, but I do have standards for the type of women that I'm into and the women of my own race just don't do it for me. A lot of them here seem to want the thuggish ones who aren't doing anything with their lives.

My parents said to me that I've just ruled out all black women and I don't think I have. The african american women that I would be into aren't the ones that live here honestly. For me looks are important and for me an ideal african american woman would someone that looks like Beyonce, Rhianna, or even Halle Berry. But as a honest question to everyone on the forum, does race matter to you? Or are you open to women of all colors?

As I said I'm into a woman who knows what she's worth, takes care of herself, is intelligent, speaks properly, is beautiful, honest, and so forth. I got into a debate about it and I thought it would be interesting to share in this thread.

You're a brotha? :eek:

Land sakes, ya think ya know a guy.

[jaguarr]

As weird as this might sound in this thread, I figured I would ask this question. Do any of you posters feel as though race matters when it comes to a future significant other? Like for instance, in my case, I am an african american male who prefers white women over my own race honestly. I am not going to pretend that I don't because it's the truth.

I'm from California and my parents moved here to South Carolina due to them being in the Air Force. I'm not a country boy or the type of guy who is thuggish, talks in slang, and so forth. I am not saying that I'm better than them or anything, but I do have standards for the type of women that I'm into and the women of my own race just don't do it for me. A lot of them here seem to want the thuggish ones who aren't doing anything with their lives.

My parents said to me that I've just ruled out all black women and I don't think I have. The african american women that I would be into aren't the ones that live here honestly. For me looks are important and for me an ideal african american woman would someone that looks like Beyonce, Rhianna, or even Halle Berry. But as a honest question to everyone on the forum, does race matter to you? Or are you open to women of all colors?

As I said I'm into a woman who knows what she's worth, takes care of herself, is intelligent, speaks properly, is beautiful, honest, and so forth. I got into a debate about it and I thought it would be interesting to share in this thread.

I'm in the same spot that you are. There are very few black women (I don't say African American because that leaves out non-Americans) that are even into the same things that I am farless for being attractive to me. I can't speak for anyone else here but personaly I'm into lighter skin but when it comes down to it that's just a preference. It's all about chemistry for me, regardless of race. I just happen to have more in common with caucasians and asians than I do with my own race. :oldrazz:

Guys, your preferences are your preferences. Embrace them. It's a part of who you are. You'll never change them, so do what makes you happy. It's the 21st Century. The only people who care about what race you date or marry are dolts and people still stuck in the 1800's (and that includes your parents if they have that view). Life's too short to sacrifice your own needs and desires for someone elses.

I'm a white guy married to a Dominican woman, and I approve this message.

jag

[LastSunrise1981]

You're a brotha? :eek:

Land sakes, ya think ya know a guy.

Heh, I do get that a lot. Especially when people hear me on the phone and meet me in person.

@Jag and Erz- I do agree with you that what's important is what we think about our future significant other. The truth is that this was a debate I got into with my parents about. I am not going to lie when I say I get lonely and wish I had someone to take to the movies, to dinner, and all that good stuff. But I'm also not desperate and the black women they want me to get are the ones I'm not into. Also I've had bad experiences with black people in general and it's just made me bitter, hateful, and isolated from them. Yes, I am black myself, but at the same time, I don't feel connected to them whatsoever here in South Carolina.

Majority of my friends are white anyways, mainly because I have more in common with them and they actually treat me with respect.

With that said I've always been more attracted to white women than anything else. But in any event at the end of the day as long as we find the person we're happy with that's all that matters.

[Erzengel]

What you are stating is fairly common on parents who are "wary" of other races and feel more "comfortable" around things they are use to. In the end, they should be happy that you are happy and if they are "normal" parents, they would grow to accept and even like whomever you bring home as long as they are respectful.

[jaguarr]

What you are stating is fairly common on parents who are "wary" of other races and feel more "comfortable" around things they are use to. In the end, they should be happy that you are happy and if they are "normal" parents, they would grow to accept and even like whomever you bring home as long as they are respectful.

Yep. I have a Philippina friend who is married to a white guy (possibly the whitest guy I have ever met, too). When she first started dating him, her parents were not happy at all, despite the fact that he's a very nice guy and treats her extremely well, has a good education and a great job. Her parents didn't want her dating someone who wasn't Philippino and made a big stink out of it (even though they, at one point, suggested that maybe she could date me which makes no since at all since I'm white, plus she's like my little sister to boot). At any rate, she had to sit her folks down and tell them to get used to it because she loved the guy and would marry him in a heartbeat if he asked. She told them to stop pushing their ideals on her and to quit trying to vicariously live their lives through her and let her be her own person. It caused a bit of a rift for a couple of months and then they came around and discovered that they really liked this guy. When he was ready to ask her to marry him, he asked her dad first which her dad thought was a very cool, old school move. Her parents enthusiastically gave him their blessing. Not every story turns out that way, I realize, but many of them do.

It's your life to live, not your parents'.

jag

[Erzengel]

Filipino. :o

[jaguarr]

Filipino. :o

Oh, you mean the ones from the Filippines? :hehe:

jag

[Ash J. Williams]

So I guess it's OK to suprise a girl by asking her out?

[Gilpesh]

So I guess it's OK to suprise a girl by asking her out?

But never ok to do the surprise sex with her butt.

They take offense.

[Ash J. Williams]

Um...alright.

[AndThePickles]

Heh, I do get that a lot. Especially when people hear me on the phone and meet me in person.

@Jag and Erz- I do agree with you that what's important is what we think about our future significant other. The truth is that this was a debate I got into with my parents about. I am not going to lie when I say I get lonely and wish I had someone to take to the movies, to dinner, and all that good stuff. But I'm also not desperate and the black women they want me to get are the ones I'm not into. Also I've had bad experiences with black people in general and it's just made me bitter, hateful, and isolated from them. Yes, I am black myself, but at the same time, I don't feel connected to them whatsoever here in South Carolina.

Majority of my friends are white anyways, mainly because I have more in common with them and they actually treat me with respect.

With that said I've always been more attracted to white women than anything else. But in any event at the end of the day as long as we find the person we're happy with that's all that matters.

I say date who you want to date :up: I'm open to all races, but I tend to find black men the most attractive. Thankfully, it isn't an issue with my parents, but dating outside of your race will ALWAYS come with drama from somewhere.

[terry78]

Also, while you should have friends that do respect you, are there literally no black people at all you connect with?

[Angel_Faerie]

OK. School just started yesterday and already I need advice on stuff. I'm trying to figure things out now before anything can go wrong. Gotta nip this in the bud.

First Story:

I really liked a guy 2 years ago (10th grade). He was scarily smart, clever, and really sweet and cute. He reminded me a lot of myself, while being different in some ways. Now, after we had spent time together for a couple months, I finally got the nerve to ask him out. He said no, but with a twist. You see, he's so smart that he's skipped a couple grades (which makes sense, he was one of the shortest kids in the class). His parents wouldn't let him date until he was 16. He would be that age by Senior year. He told me that in two years I could ask him out again. But until that time, we'd have to remain friends. We exchanged E-Mail addresses on the last day of school that year (I tried talking to him on MSN Messenger a few times, but he was never on). The next year he and I didn't spend as much time together as we used to, but we still spent time together every once and a while and greeted each other in the halls. And now, here we are, Senior year. I still feel the same way I felt then. He's a little bit taller than me now and has gotten a whole lot more attractive. I'm hesitant to ask him out for two reasons. 1. I'm not sure if he's 16 yet and am not sure if it'd come off too great if I went up to him and asked "So, are you 16 yet?" 2. I'm not sure if he would say yes. He could be an entirely different person than he was then and he might want things to stay the way they are.

Second Story:

There's a cute boy in my Drawing class that sits right next to me named Austin. The teacher was passing out popcorn to the class as a treat. I had finished mine and was still a little hungry and felt like attempting to flirt with Austin. So I pointed my finger in the opposite direction and said "What's that?" He turned around the way I pointed and said "Huh?" As he was turned, I snatched a popcorn kernel from his paper towel. He caught me, gave me a teasing look and said "Hey! you took some of my popcorn!" I said "Yup. You got owned, sucka!" laughing as I took another one. He laughed and pushed the paper towel toward me, saying "If you want some of mine, here ya go." I giggled a giggle I always do when I blush and said "Nah. It's more fun to steal it than take it fair and square." He laughed, rolled his eyes, pulled the popcorn back toward himself and went back to his drawing. Now, I'm not making any assumptions with that. I just wanted you guys' opinions on my first real attempt at flirting. :funny: I'd like to get to know this guy a little better, if possible. I have no idea what I'd talk to him about, though.

I'd like this to be the year I get my first real boyfriend. I don't wanna force anything, though. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Over the summer I did some soul searching/growing up and actually gained some self-confidence. I feel ready for a relationship, but that doesn't really mean I am. *Shrug*

[AxlsAppetite]

But never ok to do the surprise sex with her butt.

They take offense.
been there, done that

[Angel_Faerie]

been there, done that

:huh:

[Gilpesh]

:huh:

He made a butt rape joke.

[kainedamo]

http://en.nothingisreal.com/wiki/Why_I_Will_Never_Have_a_Girlfriend

[Erzengel]

OK. School just started yesterday and already I need advice on stuff. I'm trying to figure things out now before anything can go wrong. Gotta nip this in the bud.

First Story:

I really liked a guy 2 years ago (10th grade). He was scarily smart, clever, and really sweet and cute. He reminded me a lot of myself, while being different in some ways. Now, after we had spent time together for a couple months, I finally got the nerve to ask him out. He said no, but with a twist. You see, he's so smart that he's skipped a couple grades (which makes sense, he was one of the shortest kids in the class). His parents wouldn't let him date until he was 16. He would be that age by Senior year. He told me that in two years I could ask him out again. But until that time, we'd have to remain friends. We exchanged E-Mail addresses on the last day of school that year (I tried talking to him on MSN Messenger a few times, but he was never on). The next year he and I didn't spend as much time together as we used to, but we still spent time together every once and a while and greeted each other in the halls. And now, here we are, Senior year. I still feel the same way I felt then. He's a little bit taller than me now and has gotten a whole lot more attractive. I'm hesitant to ask him out for two reasons. 1. I'm not sure if he's 16 yet and am not sure if it'd come off too great if I went up to him and asked "So, are you 16 yet?" 2. I'm not sure if he would say yes. He could be an entirely different person than he was then and he might want things to stay the way they are.

Second Story:

There's a cute boy in my Drawing class that sits right next to me named Austin. The teacher was passing out popcorn to the class as a treat. I had finished mine and was still a little hungry and felt like attempting to flirt with Austin. So I pointed my finger in the opposite direction and said "What's that?" He turned around the way I pointed and said "Huh?" As he was turned, I snatched a popcorn kernel from his paper towel. He caught me, gave me a teasing look and said "Hey! you took some of my popcorn!" I said "Yup. You got owned, sucka!" laughing as I took another one. He laughed and pushed the paper towel toward me, saying "If you want some of mine, here ya go." I giggled a giggle I always do when I blush and said "Nah. It's more fun to steal it than take it fair and square." He laughed, rolled his eyes, pulled the popcorn back toward himself and went back to his drawing. Now, I'm not making any assumptions with that. I just wanted you guys' opinions on my first real attempt at flirting. :funny: I'd like to get to know this guy a little better, if possible. I have no idea what I'd talk to him about, though.

I'd like this to be the year I get my first real boyfriend. I don't wanna force anything, though. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Over the summer I did some soul searching/growing up and actually gained some self-confidence. I feel ready for a relationship, but that doesn't really mean I am. *Shrug*
Just remember your lesson from what's his face and if they show the slightest bit of interest, DO NOT act all clingy, emotional and needy. :up:

[Angel_Faerie]

Just remember your lesson from what's his face and if they show the slightest bit of interest, DO NOT act all clingy, emotional and needy. :up:

Don't worry. I learned my lesson from Colter and never want that sort of thing to ever happen to me again. That was a very painful experience.

[amazingfantasy15]

OK. School just started yesterday and already I need advice on stuff. I'm trying to figure things out now before anything can go wrong. Gotta nip this in the bud.

First Story:

I really liked a guy 2 years ago (10th grade). He was scarily smart, clever, and really sweet and cute. He reminded me a lot of myself, while being different in some ways. Now, after we had spent time together for a couple months, I finally got the nerve to ask him out. He said no, but with a twist. You see, he's so smart that he's skipped a couple grades (which makes sense, he was one of the shortest kids in the class). His parents wouldn't let him date until he was 16. He would be that age by Senior year. He told me that in two years I could ask him out again. But until that time, we'd have to remain friends. We exchanged E-Mail addresses on the last day of school that year (I tried talking to him on MSN Messenger a few times, but he was never on). The next year he and I didn't spend as much time together as we used to, but we still spent time together every once and a while and greeted each other in the halls. And now, here we are, Senior year. I still feel the same way I felt then. He's a little bit taller than me now and has gotten a whole lot more attractive. I'm hesitant to ask him out for two reasons. 1. I'm not sure if he's 16 yet and am not sure if it'd come off too great if I went up to him and asked "So, are you 16 yet?" 2. I'm not sure if he would say yes. He could be an entirely different person than he was then and he might want things to stay the way they are.

Second Story:

There's a cute boy in my Drawing class that sits right next to me named Austin. The teacher was passing out popcorn to the class as a treat. I had finished mine and was still a little hungry and felt like attempting to flirt with Austin. So I pointed my finger in the opposite direction and said "What's that?" He turned around the way I pointed and said "Huh?" As he was turned, I snatched a popcorn kernel from his paper towel. He caught me, gave me a teasing look and said "Hey! you took some of my popcorn!" I said "Yup. You got owned, sucka!" laughing as I took another one. He laughed and pushed the paper towel toward me, saying "If you want some of mine, here ya go." I giggled a giggle I always do when I blush and said "Nah. It's more fun to steal it than take it fair and square." He laughed, rolled his eyes, pulled the popcorn back toward himself and went back to his drawing. Now, I'm not making any assumptions with that. I just wanted you guys' opinions on my first real attempt at flirting. :funny: I'd like to get to know this guy a little better, if possible. I have no idea what I'd talk to him about, though.

I'd like this to be the year I get my first real boyfriend. I don't wanna force anything, though. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Over the summer I did some soul searching/growing up and actually gained some self-confidence. I feel ready for a relationship, but that doesn't really mean I am. *Shrug*

First guy don't try anything if you aren't talking much lately, you'll come off as kinda stalkery like you've been waiting all this time for him to finally be "of age" to date.

Second one, just try to keep banter going. Ask him about his art, what inspries it, things like that. If things go well the conversation should just evolve and move to other subjects. Just let things move naturally, don't try to push.

[terry78]

I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right now
What will it be
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be
Sorry

[Angel_Faerie]

I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
I want to know right now
What will it be
I don't want to wait
For our lives to be over
Will it be yes or will it be
Sorry

Cute. Real cute. :whatever:

[Gilpesh]

Cute. Real cute. :whatever:

I8B1tUSudO8

[terry78]

Cute. Real cute. :whatever:

I'm just messing with you, come on. They gave you some sound advice.

[Angel_Faerie]

I'm just messing with you, come on. They gave you some sound advice.

I wasn't sure if you were kidding or not. Last year when I talked about what was going on with me and boys people here pulled the same stunt as you did, only they weren't messing around. They were doing it to be mean.

And I agree that the advice I've gotten so far is pretty solid. Too bad it's too late with the guy from the first story. Things would've been different if you guys had responded sooner. :csad: Oh, well.

[terry78]

I think the signature and the head bopping avatar should prove I rarely am that serious.

[Alexia Dark]

OK. School just started yesterday and already I need advice on stuff. I'm trying to figure things out now before anything can go wrong. Gotta nip this in the bud.

First Story:

I really liked a guy 2 years ago (10th grade). He was scarily smart, clever, and really sweet and cute. He reminded me a lot of myself, while being different in some ways. Now, after we had spent time together for a couple months, I finally got the nerve to ask him out. He said no, but with a twist. You see, he's so smart that he's skipped a couple grades (which makes sense, he was one of the shortest kids in the class). His parents wouldn't let him date until he was 16. He would be that age by Senior year. He told me that in two years I could ask him out again. But until that time, we'd have to remain friends. We exchanged E-Mail addresses on the last day of school that year (I tried talking to him on MSN Messenger a few times, but he was never on). The next year he and I didn't spend as much time together as we used to, but we still spent time together every once and a while and greeted each other in the halls. And now, here we are, Senior year. I still feel the same way I felt then. He's a little bit taller than me now and has gotten a whole lot more attractive. I'm hesitant to ask him out for two reasons. 1. I'm not sure if he's 16 yet and am not sure if it'd come off too great if I went up to him and asked "So, are you 16 yet?" 2. I'm not sure if he would say yes. He could be an entirely different person than he was then and he might want things to stay the way they are.

Second Story:

There's a cute boy in my Drawing class that sits right next to me named Austin. The teacher was passing out popcorn to the class as a treat. I had finished mine and was still a little hungry and felt like attempting to flirt with Austin. So I pointed my finger in the opposite direction and said "What's that?" He turned around the way I pointed and said "Huh?" As he was turned, I snatched a popcorn kernel from his paper towel. He caught me, gave me a teasing look and said "Hey! you took some of my popcorn!" I said "Yup. You got owned, sucka!" laughing as I took another one. He laughed and pushed the paper towel toward me, saying "If you want some of mine, here ya go." I giggled a giggle I always do when I blush and said "Nah. It's more fun to steal it than take it fair and square." He laughed, rolled his eyes, pulled the popcorn back toward himself and went back to his drawing. Now, I'm not making any assumptions with that. I just wanted you guys' opinions on my first real attempt at flirting. :funny: I'd like to get to know this guy a little better, if possible. I have no idea what I'd talk to him about, though.

I'd like this to be the year I get my first real boyfriend. I don't wanna force anything, though. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Over the summer I did some soul searching/growing up and actually gained some self-confidence. I feel ready for a relationship, but that doesn't really mean I am. *Shrug*

1.

a) Think of something you have in common. Start a conversation with him about it. If he seems receptive, tell him that you're sorry (but not in a mushy way) that you haven't talked as often lately.

b) When is your birthday? If it's close, mention your plans for it. If it's not, mention what you wish you could get for your birthday, then casually ask 'Oh, when's your birthday?'.

2.

a) If that constitutes flirting, I'm a pretty huge flirt.

Actually, it probably does, but... well, I think it's too early to tell. Get to know him better first. Comment on his artwork if you can't find anything else to talk about.

[Nightmare]

X2 > TDK? :hehe:

[Alexia Dark]

X2 > TDK? :hehe:

STFU, Bat-newb :p.

/end of off topic discussion.

[Angel_Faerie]

I may as well tell you guys what happened yesterday with the guy from the first story.

I made my friend ask him if he's 16 yet. He is. I asked her to ask him if he has a girlfriend. He had one over the summer, but she graduated and they don't talk anymore. I then walked up to him, really really nervous. My cheeks were so damn red. I asked him if he would go to a dance at our school with me. He said he wasn't going to the dance in the first place. I walked off, feeling like an idiot.

[CashforStash]

he's a turd, forget him...

[Alexia Dark]

Ah well. I'm out of tips. It's too late. But if you feel you had a connection, don't let him go so easily.

[Angel_Faerie]

Ah well. I'm out of tips. It's too late. But if you feel you had a connection, don't let him go so easily.

I felt a connection in 10th Grade. Dunno if it's there anymore. I haven't had a real lengthy conversation with him since that time. It'd probably be awkward if I tried just talking to him now.


I always make mistake after mistake with boys. I seem to do everything wrong.

[Ziggyman]

I felt a connection in 10th Grade. Dunno if it's there anymore. I haven't had a real lengthy conversation with him since that time. It'd probably be awkward if I tried just talking to him now.


I always make mistake after mistake with boys. I seem to do everything wrong.

How do you know what the "right" thing to do is...?

It seems like the "right" thing to do only comes to mind after you've done the so called wrong thing since you haven't thought about it as much...To me...Not thinking about guys that much is that right thing...It means they are not consuming your life...Good!

[Hobgoblin]

Ok, quick question: Is it stalker-ish to ask out a newspaper columnist from a local newspaper? Never met her but from her columns, we have a lot in common. She even says that she doesnt have a bf and will probably never get one.

[Ziggyman]

Why do you think that is stalker-ish? You're a faithful reader of her columns and know a bit about her and share same interests from reading them...

[Ash J. Williams]

I felt a connection in 10th Grade. Dunno if it's there anymore. I haven't had a real lengthy conversation with him since that time. It'd probably be awkward if I tried just talking to him now.


I always make mistake after mistake with boys. I seem to do everything wrong.
Same for me, except with girls.

[Ziggyman]

Same for me, except with girls.

...Why do you say that?

[Erzengel]

I wasn't sure if you were kidding or not. Last year when I talked about what was going on with me and boys people here pulled the same stunt as you did, only they weren't messing around. They were doing it to be mean.

And I agree that the advice I've gotten so far is pretty solid. Too bad it's too late with the guy from the first story. Things would've been different if you guys had responded sooner. :csad: Oh, well.
Actually, people here were pretty nice to you and handled you with kid gloves. They may have acted sterner when you stopped listening when everyone was telling you the same thing.

But, at least from my point of view unless you can bring up previous posts, everyone was cordial.

[Hobgoblin]

Why do you think that is stalker-ish? You're a faithful reader of her columns and know a bit about her and share same interests from reading them...

I just wondered how she would react to being asked out by a person she has never even seen before. How does she know I'm not some obsessed nut?

[Nightmare]

Ah well. I'm out of tips. It's too late. But if you feel you had a connection, don't let him go so easily.

I feel a connection between you and me. :yay:

[JLBats]

I feel a connection between you and me. :yay:

:dry:creepy

[Ziggyman]

I feel a connection between you and me. :yay:

I knew it!

[amazingfantasy15]

I may as well tell you guys what happened yesterday with the guy from the first story.

I made my friend ask him if he's 16 yet. He is. I asked her to ask him if he has a girlfriend. He had one over the summer, but she graduated and they don't talk anymore. I then walked up to him, really really nervous. My cheeks were so damn red. I asked him if he would go to a dance at our school with me. He said he wasn't going to the dance in the first place. I walked off, feeling like an idiot.

I felt a connection in 10th Grade. Dunno if it's there anymore. I haven't had a real lengthy conversation with him since that time. It'd probably be awkward if I tried just talking to him now.

I always make mistake after mistake with boys. I seem to do everything wrong.

Well, your mistake here was asking him out, out of the blue. You haven't really talked in almost two years, plus he still might not be over his girlfriend yet. You should've tried to reconnect a little first. Plus try to ask these guys out to a movie, dinner, whatever teenagers do on first dates first. A school dance would probably be too much pressure anyway.

I will say it's great that you're being proactive and asking these guys out, there should be more girls like you out there, not waiting for the guy to do the asking. You just seem to jump the gun too quick, build some good rapport, then ask.

[Erzengel]

^

Agreed.

Not to mention you're 18 years old sweetie. You shouldn't be asking friends to ask for you. You're not in the 7th grade.

[amazingfantasy15]

^

Agreed.

Not to mention you're 18 years old sweetie. You shouldn't be asking friends to ask for you. You're not in the 7th grade.

Well, to be fair she actually did the asking, just had her friend do the research. However, doing the research might have helped her reconnect with the guy.

[Spider-Fan]

SF has a question. Here's the scoop:

College started for me last week. Last week, before my Anthropolgy class on Tuesday, this girl sat next to me. I think she was trying to say hi to me on that day, but I was off in one of my head movies (I am a nervous bird on the first day of any class). Anyways, I had that same class on Thursday and she tried asking me if I saw any good TV shows recently (I gave a poor answer). Anyways, eventually we started talking. She is really cool. She is a comic reader (Sandman and Vertigo mostly), and shares many of my interests. Very attractive, too. Again, we were talking today, and she mentioned she has a b-day coming up this weekend (forgot to ask the exact date). I was thinking about giving her something for the occassion. Best thing I could think of was a copy of the Watchmen GN, cause I praised it on Thursday and she today told me she watched the trailer (loved it) and was asking me some questions about the characters. I do have a copy of Watchmen, so I guess I could lend it to her also. Anyways, is this a good idea? Is it too soon?

SF would like some advice.

[Gilpesh]

Lend it to her. That way you did something nice for her birthday... but not creepy like go from chit-chatting in class to here's a present.

[Erzengel]

1. Stop talking about yourself in 3rd person.

2. It's too soon. You only talked for a week and you want to give her a birthday present?

Just, ask her out to eat. Hey your birthday is Friday? Let me take you for coffee/let me take you for lunch because I'm sure you have plans.

[Spider-Fan]

Good input guys. I am going to go with Erz's suggestion.

[terry78]

Take her little ass to a local comic book shop, man. It'll be just like the romantic comedies. :o Plus since she's already a comic girl, the foul odor and the sweaty patrons won't even faze her.

[Spider-Fan]

Take her little ass to a local comic book shop, man. It'll be just like the romantic comedies. :o Plus since she's already a comic girl, the foul odor and the sweaty patrons won't even faze her.

LOL :woot:

Would this be a romantic comedy with Matthew McCaughnahey :woot:

[amazingfantasy15]

LOL :woot:

Would this be a romantic comedy with Matthew McCaughnahey :woot:

No, it'd be Kevin Smith's version of a romantic comedy.

[Gilpesh]

No, it'd be Kevin Smith's version of a romantic comedy.

So he'd be Jason Mewes....

[Spider-Fan]

So he'd be Jason Mewes....

I prefer to think of myself as Jason Lee :o

[Gilpesh]

I prefer to think of myself as Jason Lee :o

Then you wouldn't need advice :oldrazz:

[Spider-Fan]

Then you wouldn't need advice :oldrazz:

True. But Jay wasn't the advice seeking type, either. He just kind of screwed up on his own.

I guess I'm Dante :csad:

[Gilpesh]

True. But Jay wasn't the advice seeking type, either. He just kind of screwed up on his own.

I guess I'm Dante :csad:

I'm so sorry....




But s**t or get off the pot.

[Spider-Fan]

I'm so sorry....




But s**t or get off the pot.

I'm not even supposed to be here today :cmad:

[Angel_Faerie]

Well, your mistake here was asking him out, out of the blue. You haven't really talked in almost two years, plus he still might not be over his girlfriend yet. You should've tried to reconnect a little first. Plus try to ask these guys out to a movie, dinner, whatever teenagers do on first dates first. A school dance would probably be too much pressure anyway.

I will say it's great that you're being proactive and asking these guys out, there should be more girls like you out there, not waiting for the guy to do the asking. You just seem to jump the gun too quick, build some good rapport, then ask.

I realized it was sort of out of the blue after I did it. I'm a very impulsive person. A lot of the time I just think about doing something for five seconds and then, BAM, I'm doing it. It gets me into trouble sometimes. It's a trait of mine that I'm not really proud of, and am working on fixing. I asked him to the dance because it's something in the nearby future. Seemed convenient. If a dance wasn't coming I probably would have just asked him to a movie or dinner or something.

I've never been the type to just sit around waiting to be asked out. Because I don't get asked out. I've only been seriously asked out once in my entire life, and that was in 6th Grade. The boy that asked me ended up cheating on me before we had even been boyfriend and girlfriend two weeks. All we had done was hold hands at that point. Never went on a date. I don't really count that as a relationship.

^

Agreed.

Not to mention you're 18 years old sweetie. You shouldn't be asking friends to ask for you. You're not in the 7th grade.

I was nervous! I tried going up to him to ask all the questions, but I got too scared and ended up running in the other direction. I can be a real chicken sometimes when it comes to boys. My friend offered to ask him the questions for me as long as I asked him to the dance myself. I was able to muster up the courage to at least do that.

Well, to be fair she actually did the asking, just had her friend do the research. However, doing the research might have helped her reconnect with the guy.

I agree that it would have helped up reconnect. But I was just too nervous at that time to do it. I'm surprised I was able to even ask him to the dance. I was that nervous. Shaking like a leaf. I probably looked really silly. Bright red face, shaking, and sweating bullets. :funny:

Oh, and I wanted to update everyone on the guy from the second story (the guy in my Drawing class). Things are going well there, I guess. He and I have been talking pretty much every day, mainly teasing each other and laughing. It's been a lot of fun. I'm a little worried about how this is all gonna end up, though. Because I've had this sort of fun teasing relationship with boys before, and when I think the time is right to make a move, I get the "just friends" thing. I'm sick and tired of it. It's the excuse I almost always get when I ask someone out. So you can see why I'm a little leery about the way things are headed between he and I.

[ttotheusher]

I've never been on this thread before, but I need advice, so here I am...

So, I met this girl at work about 2 months ago. She's kinda cute, but her personality bugs me. She has the worst taste in music (She'd never even heard of Johnny Cash) and she constantly belittled me during our shift together. However, as the weeks went by, I started to appreciate her company more. I think we started to understand each other more, and the banter got more playful and flirtacious. Obviously, as this went on, I started to grow more attracted to her. So I asked her out to the cinema, and she said yes. Great, I thought, a proper date. But every time I tried to work out some details, se kinda dodged the question, and finally, last night, told me that she just saw me as "a nice guy" but not in that way. So, I'm gutted, but the real problem is, this always seems to happen to me. I'm always the "nice guy", and I'm sick of it. How do you reckon I should go about changing this pattern?

[Banquet]

I've never been on this thread before, but I need advice, so here I am...

So, I met this girl at work about 2 months ago. She's kinda cute, but her personality bugs me. She has the worst taste in music (She'd never even heard of Johnny Cash) and she constantly belittled me during our shift together. However, as the weeks went by, I started to appreciate her company more. I think we started to understand each other more, and the banter got more playful and flirtacious. Obviously, as this went on, I started to grow more attracted to her. So I asked her out to the cinema, and she said yes. Great, I thought, a proper date. But every time I tried to work out some details, se kinda dodged the question, and finally, last night, told me that she just saw me as "a nice guy" but not in that way. So, I'm gutted, but the real problem is, this always seems to happen to me. I'm always the "nice guy", and I'm sick of it. How do you reckon I should go about changing this pattern?

Sorry that didn't work out. Sounds like she got cold feet, or was flattered that you asked, but realized that she didn't have those kind of feelings for you. But from what you've said, I can't judge that you did anything wrong in being a "nice guy" that would warrant change.

So the best advice I can give is.. continue to be who you are until a girl comes along who is interested in you.

[Banquet]

Oh, and I wanted to update everyone on the guy from the second story (the guy in my Drawing class). Things are going well there, I guess. He and I have been talking pretty much every day, mainly teasing each other and laughing. It's been a lot of fun. I'm a little worried about how this is all gonna end up, though. Because I've had this sort of fun teasing relationship with boys before, and when I think the time is right to make a move, I get the "just friends" thing. I'm sick and tired of it. It's the excuse I almost always get when I ask someone out. So you can see why I'm a little leery about the way things are headed between he and I.

Ha! I'm not the only girl in the village who gets the "just friends" thing. The only guys who ask me out are old men. :csad: Or a divorced security guard going through a mid-life crisis... serves me for smiling at someone.

Hope that everything with this guy goes well for you... try not to worry about it and have fun. :yay: Maybe find a way to hang out with him outside of class without actually asking him out... if you have to do landscape sketches or still lifes for homework that could be a good opportunity, or if there are any events your teacher tells you about going on. He might get a hint that you really like him without putting the pressure on, and you'll get to know him better.

[ttotheusher]

Sorry that didn't work out. Sounds like she got cold feet, or was flattered that you asked, but realized that she didn't have those kind of feelings for you. But from what you've said, I can't judge that you did anything wrong in being a "nice guy" that would warrant change.

So the best advice I can give is.. continue to be who you are until a girl comes along who is interested in you.

The thing is, I feel like I've been waiting for this girl forever. No matter what avenue life takes me down, theres never anyone who I feel close to. I'm just sick of seeing everyone else have these varied romantic lives whilst I'm stuck on the sidelines watching but not participating.

[November Rain]

I've never been on this thread before, but I need advice, so here I am...

So, I met this girl at work about 2 months ago. She's kinda cute, but her personality bugs me. She has the worst taste in music (She'd never even heard of Johnny Cash) and she constantly belittled me during our shift together. However, as the weeks went by, I started to appreciate her company more. I think we started to understand each other more, and the banter got more playful and flirtacious. Obviously, as this went on, I started to grow more attracted to her. So I asked her out to the cinema, and she said yes. Great, I thought, a proper date. But every time I tried to work out some details, se kinda dodged the question, and finally, last night, told me that she just saw me as "a nice guy" but not in that way. So, I'm gutted, but the real problem is, this always seems to happen to me. I'm always the "nice guy", and I'm sick of it. How do you reckon I should go about changing this pattern?
The problem here is the natural transgression of a state of affairs.

I know it's probably sad to advocate but with regards to females and any sort of relationship stuff, one should really play it very casual until alcohol is introduced into the equation, even then, one shouldn't simply assume and then you can truelly get a gauge for things then.

a cinema trip is just a cinema trip. Instead of perstering her to go, you should have made it seem like it was her loss for not coming and you went out anywho.

you also need to remember some people flirt either for the sake of it or without even knowing what they are doing, it all comes down to perception.

try to not let it affect your work but in all honesty, if you like someone, you have to make yourself the desired entity or at least a desirable entity, by doing that you make sure you never enter that zone and it's an all or nothing affair.

this probably isn't the most mature advice you'll receive but i doubt you're very old and you have plenty of time to go about things in the proper manner once you can get through the first steps of things.

another piece of advise would be to try and not fall for your friends, it's an easy trap to do and just because you spend plenty of time with someone may not necessarily vouch for much. It's all about having options, especially those you can cease.

[Erzengel]

I've never been on this thread before, but I need advice, so here I am...

So, I met this girl at work about 2 months ago. She's kinda cute, but her personality bugs me. She has the worst taste in music (She'd never even heard of Johnny Cash) and she constantly belittled me during our shift together. However, as the weeks went by, I started to appreciate her company more. I think we started to understand each other more, and the banter got more playful and flirtacious. Obviously, as this went on, I started to grow more attracted to her. So I asked her out to the cinema, and she said yes. Great, I thought, a proper date. But every time I tried to work out some details, se kinda dodged the question, and finally, last night, told me that she just saw me as "a nice guy" but not in that way. So, I'm gutted, but the real problem is, this always seems to happen to me. I'm always the "nice guy", and I'm sick of it. How do you reckon I should go about changing this pattern?

It happens to the best of us my friend.

Unfortunately, "you're a nice guy" usually means "I'm not attracted to you."

Now don't take this too much to heart because attraction can go further than just the physical.

You aren't going to attract everyone and like I said, dating is all a numbers game. Ask out 100, at least 1 will say yes.

[Banquet]

The thing is, I feel like I've been waiting for this girl forever. No matter what avenue life takes me down, theres never anyone who I feel close to. I'm just sick of seeing everyone else have these varied romantic lives whilst I'm stuck on the sidelines watching but not participating.

Yeah, I understand that, a lot actually. But I know several people who date constantly and are never satisfied. Something goes wrong, or they get their heart broken, or they end up with someone who uses them or whatever... so it's just a different set of troubles.

If you don't feel close to anyone, that seems like it's more than a problem with just getting a date.

[Banquet]

The problem here is the natural transgression of a state of affairs.

I know it's probably sad to advocate but with regards to females and any sort of relationship stuff, one should really play it very casual until alcohol is introduced into the equation, even then, one shouldn't simply assume and then you can truelly get a gauge for things then.

a cinema trip is just a cinema trip. Instead of perstering her to go, you should have made it seem like it was her loss for not coming and you went out anywho.

you also need to remember some people flirt either for the sake of it or without even knowing what they are doing, it all comes down to perception.

try to not let it affect your work but in all honesty, if you like someone, you have to make yourself the desired entity or at least a desirable entity, by doing that you make sure you never enter that zone and it's an all or nothing affair.

this probably isn't the most mature advice you'll receive but i doubt you're very old and you have plenty of time to go about things in the proper manner once you can get through the first steps of things.

another piece of advise would be to try and not fall for your friends, it's an easy trap to do and just because you spend plenty of time with someone may not necessarily vouch for much. It's all about having options, especially those you can cease.

may not be mature, but it's true.

[ttotheusher]

Cheers for the advice, it seems to have alleviated my mood somewhat since yesterday.

[AndThePickles]

Unfortunately, "you're a nice guy" usually means "I'm not attracted to you."



Exactly.

[aaron]

You aren't going to attract everyone and like I said, dating is all a numbers game. Ask out 100, at least 1 will say yes.

so he has a one percent attraction rate

[Erzengel]

It's better than Vegas odds. :up:

[ttotheusher]

It's better than Vegas odds. :up:

Aye, but I'm better at poker than a getting a date. :oldrazz:

[Mac_Hine]

I've never been on this thread before, but I need advice, so here I am...

So, I met this girl at work about 2 months ago. She's kinda cute, but her personality bugs me. She has the worst taste in music (She'd never even heard of Johnny Cash) and she constantly belittled me during our shift together. However, as the weeks went by, I started to appreciate her company more. I think we started to understand each other more, and the banter got more playful and flirtacious. Obviously, as this went on, I started to grow more attracted to her. So I asked her out to the cinema, and she said yes. Great, I thought, a proper date. But every time I tried to work out some details, se kinda dodged the question, and finally, last night, told me that she just saw me as "a nice guy" but not in that way. So, I'm gutted, but the real problem is, this always seems to happen to me. I'm always the "nice guy", and I'm sick of it. How do you reckon I should go about changing this pattern?
After looking through your post this is what stood out for me. Did you let her belittle you and just take it like a wuss or did you playfully belittle her back? Because in my experience, some if not most women test you with these little insults to see how much of a man you are. If you take her insult, her attraction will go down but if you defend yourself in a playfull manner, her attaction will go up. Maybe that is why she called you a "nice guy".

[ttotheusher]

After looking through your post this is what stood out for me. Did you let her belittle you and just take it like a wuss or did you playfully belittle her back? Because in my experience, some if not most women test you with these little insults to see how much of a man you are. If you take her insult, her attraction will go down but if you defend yourself in a playfull manner, her attaction will go up. Maybe that is why she called you a "nice guy".

No, it was definately playful banter. We'd always make fun of each other. I met her at work today and it doesnt feel awkward thankfully. Same as unusual, which is kinda good and bad at the same time.

[Angel_Faerie]

I finally get it. None of the guys at my school have romantic feelings toward me and it's doubtful any guy ever will. It's obvious I'm not good enough. For the boys I like right now, or anyone. I look completely hideous to boys (but I don't think I'm ugly) and appear to be extremely annoying to them. I'm just a girl who's ridiculously obsessed with love, but will probably never have it. Hundreds of people live their whole lives without being in love once. I guess that's my destiny as well. No matter how much I'd like it to not be true, it is. I'm an awful person who doesn't even deserve to be looked at by the opposite sex. What I did yesterday proves that. Remember that male friend of mine that I liked that said last year he wanted to try and stay single all this year? Well, I've talked to him many times since school started again, and he said he still intended to remain unattached. But then I found out he asked a girl to the Homecoming dance. And to everyone that says that it doesn't mean he'll date her, I say HA. He did almost the exact same thing early last year. He took a girl to a dance and was dating her by the next week. I got so angry that he lied to me that I found him at lunch yesterday, slapped him across the face (which knocked his glasses off) and said "You lying son of a *****! 'single all year' my ass." before storming off. He'll probably never speak to me again. I deserve so much worse because of all I've put him through. I feel like giving up hope with the guy in my drawing class, even though things are still going pretty good. Because as I said previously, it's probably going to end up as another "just friends" mess. I want to try, but I just don't see the point.

[ttotheusher]

I finally get it. None of the guys at my school have romantic feelings toward me and it's doubtful any guy ever will. It's obvious I'm not good enough. For the boys I like right now, or anyone. I look completely hideous to boys (but I don't think I'm ugly) and appear to be extremely annoying to them. I'm just a girl who's ridiculously obsessed with love, but will probably never have it. Hundreds of people live their whole lives without being in love once. I guess that's my destiny as well. No matter how much I'd like it to not be true, it is. I'm an awful person who doesn't even deserve to be looked at by the opposite sex. What I did yesterday proves that. Remember that male friend of mine that I liked that said last year he wanted to try and stay single all this year? Well, I've talked to him many times since school started again, and he said he still intended to remain unattached. But then I found out he asked a girl to the Homecoming dance. And to everyone that says that it doesn't mean he'll date her, I say HA. He did almost the exact same thing early last year. He took a girl to a dance and was dating her by the next week. I got so angry that he lied to me that I found him at lunch yesterday, slapped him across the face (which knocked his glasses off) and said "You lying son of a *****! 'single all year' my ass." before storming off. He'll probably never speak to me again. I deserve so much worse because of all I've put him through. I feel like giving up hope with the guy in my drawing class, even though things are still going pretty good. Because as I said previously, it's probably going to end up as another "just friends" mess. I want to try, but I just don't see the point.

Theres no need to say that. I think, first of all, you should stop thinking of yourself as an awful person, because your not. Once you calm down and start to realize this, life will get better.

[amazingfantasy15]

I finally get it. None of the guys at my school have romantic feelings toward me and it's doubtful any guy ever will. It's obvious I'm not good enough. For the boys I like right now, or anyone. I look completely hideous to boys (but I don't think I'm ugly) and appear to be extremely annoying to them. I'm just a girl who's ridiculously obsessed with love, but will probably never have it. Hundreds of people live their whole lives without being in love once. I guess that's my destiny as well. No matter how much I'd like it to not be true, it is. I'm an awful person who doesn't even deserve to be looked at by the opposite sex. What I did yesterday proves that. Remember that male friend of mine that I liked that said last year he wanted to try and stay single all this year? Well, I've talked to him many times since school started again, and he said he still intended to remain unattached. But then I found out he asked a girl to the Homecoming dance. And to everyone that says that it doesn't mean he'll date her, I say HA. He did almost the exact same thing early last year. He took a girl to a dance and was dating her by the next week. I got so angry that he lied to me that I found him at lunch yesterday, slapped him across the face (which knocked his glasses off) and said "You lying son of a *****! 'single all year' my ass." before storming off. He'll probably never speak to me again. I deserve so much worse because of all I've put him through. I feel like giving up hope with the guy in my drawing class, even though things are still going pretty good. Because as I said previously, it's probably going to end up as another "just friends" mess. I want to try, but I just don't see the point.

Well, with an attitude like that you definitely won't attract anyone. From many of your posts, it just seems you either have bad luck or just tend to skip some steps in the initial dating process and act on your feelings too quickly. Also, you're in high school, saying you'll never find someone now is simply not true. Just loosen up, don't let things get to you so much and be yourself.

As for this guy in your drawing class, you should try to figure out something outside of school to do with him, even if it is just as friends first. Don't worry about the other guy.

[Erzengel]

I finally get it. None of the guys at my school have romantic feelings toward me and it's doubtful any guy ever will. It's obvious I'm not good enough. For the boys I like right now, or anyone. I look completely hideous to boys (but I don't think I'm ugly) and appear to be extremely annoying to them. I'm just a girl who's ridiculously obsessed with love, but will probably never have it. Hundreds of people live their whole lives without being in love once. I guess that's my destiny as well. No matter how much I'd like it to not be true, it is. I'm an awful person who doesn't even deserve to be looked at by the opposite sex. What I did yesterday proves that. Remember that male friend of mine that I liked that said last year he wanted to try and stay single all this year? Well, I've talked to him many times since school started again, and he said he still intended to remain unattached. But then I found out he asked a girl to the Homecoming dance. And to everyone that says that it doesn't mean he'll date her, I say HA. He did almost the exact same thing early last year. He took a girl to a dance and was dating her by the next week. I got so angry that he lied to me that I found him at lunch yesterday, slapped him across the face (which knocked his glasses off) and said "You lying son of a *****! 'single all year' my ass." before storming off. He'll probably never speak to me again. I deserve so much worse because of all I've put him through. I feel like giving up hope with the guy in my drawing class, even though things are still going pretty good. Because as I said previously, it's probably going to end up as another "just friends" mess. I want to try, but I just don't see the point.

I know this will be tough for you to hear but what you are going through is very common. I think a lot of people here could tell you the difficulties they had in high school finding someone. I'll be honest, I went on maybe 1 date through high school? I didn't have a girlfriend till college.

Part of your problem is you feel like you are missing out, and it seems you want a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend and how that will somehow complete your life.

Sadly, if you aren't happy in general, dating some guy won't do that.

You have to stop looking for it and eventually it will find you and yes there is a chance that it may not find you in high school. I'm not saying don't stop looking but stop desperately searching.

[JLBats]

It felt literally like a joke when I found out my ex-girlfriend liked me. After a high school of some very painful unrequited longing, it was the most pleasant surprise ever, and I promise it'll happen for you too.

When I actually got together with it was like some weird dream I was going to wake up from at anytime.

Too bad I actually did, and it's over.

*drunksad*

[Banquet]

It felt literally like a joke when I found out my ex-girlfriend liked me. After a high school of some very painful unrequited longing, it was the most pleasant surprise ever, and I promise it'll happen for you too.

When I actually got together with it was like some weird dream I was going to wake up from at anytime.

Too bad I actually did, and it's over.

*drunksad*

I had one passionate fling in high school and that's it. Everything else was after that. Unfortunately that "passionate fling" was the most memorable of any of my dating experiences so far but that's not the point.

Taking high school dating seriously would be a mistake. Even if you end up staying with a high school sweetheart past high school (which is very rare), its not like your going to be getting married and having babies until high school is over (I hope).

Angel Faerie, don't tear yourself down about this, you're not awful. If you had the guts to go slap that boy's glasses off when he hurt your feelings, maybe guys are intimidated by you. I don't know if it's right, but I think it's awesome you did that. I would have loved to see girls slap people around when I was in high school. You sound like a chick that is not to be messed with.

[JLBats]

lol

You win again!

[JLBats]

lol

You win again!

[JLBats]

If ever "It's cool, we Can Still Be Friends" by /B bright Eyes becomes relevant, kill yourself.

[DeGenerate10]

Me and this girl have been talking for a while now. We dated for a few days then she broke up with me because her ex-boyfriend was a real prick to her and she wasn't ready to get into a relationship again. We still talked like we did before we dated. It was kind of weird at first but I think we got through the awkward part.

Tonight I was going to meet her at the football game. She sat with me for about the first quarter then her and her friend leave for a little bit. I go to the concession stand to get something to drink and I see her walking with another guy. I walk back up to my seat and she's sitting with him and her friends. I go sit with my friends for a while then I get pretty POed and leave. I tell her friend that I'd see her at work Sunday and I just glance over at her who I can see looking at me.

I like her a lot and I've never felt like this about anyone before. Should I say screw it and give up on her? Or should I try to tough it out with her?

[Angel_Faerie]

Well, with an attitude like that you definitely won't attract anyone. From many of your posts, it just seems you either have bad luck or just tend to skip some steps in the initial dating process and act on your feelings too quickly. Also, you're in high school, saying you'll never find someone now is simply not true. Just loosen up, don't let things get to you so much and be yourself.

As for this guy in your drawing class, you should try to figure out something outside of school to do with him, even if it is just as friends first. Don't worry about the other guy.

I probably do skip some steps in the dating process. But I have no idea what the process is. I've never dated. I mainly just play it by ear. There's no way of knowing if I'll find someone or not right now. It just feels like I'm never going to, even though it may happen someday.

I have no idea what to even ask him to do. I don't wanna pressure him, but I don't want it to be too casual as to doom myself to the dreaded Friend Zone.

I know this will be tough for you to hear but what you are going through is very common. I think a lot of people here could tell you the difficulties they had in high school finding someone. I'll be honest, I went on maybe 1 date through high school? I didn't have a girlfriend till college.

Part of your problem is you feel like you are missing out, and it seems you want a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend and how that will somehow complete your life.

Sadly, if you aren't happy in general, dating some guy won't do that.

You have to stop looking for it and eventually it will find you and yes there is a chance that it may not find you in high school. I'm not saying don't stop looking but stop desperately searching.

I know it's common. But I don't think that it makes it any less hard. And at least you went on a date. That's one more than I've had in my entire lifetime.

I do feel like I'm missing out. But I don't want a boyfriend just for the sake of having one. I want one so I have someone to spend time with so I'm not so alone. Someone to share my entire self with. I don't think having a boyfriend will make my entire life click into place, either. I know I'll still have problems. But I'll have someone to talk about them with.

I've actually felt pretty happy as of late, it's just recent events that brought me to this temporary low point.

I've actually been looking a whole lot less than I used to.

I had one passionate fling in high school and that's it. Everything else was after that. Unfortunately that "passionate fling" was the most memorable of any of my dating experiences so far but that's not the point.

Taking high school dating seriously would be a mistake. Even if you end up staying with a high school sweetheart past high school (which is very rare), its not like your going to be getting married and having babies until high school is over (I hope).

Angel Faerie, don't tear yourself down about this, you're not awful. If you had the guts to go slap that boy's glasses off when he hurt your feelings, maybe guys are intimidated by you. I don't know if it's right, but I think it's awesome you did that. I would have loved to see girls slap people around when I was in high school. You sound like a chick that is not to be messed with.

No, I'm not planning to get married and have kids during high school. Someday of course I want that, but not during or right after high school.

Part of why I feel so bad is because I've never hit anyone like that before. And I'm also upset because I hurt someone I care about, even though he hurt me emotionally. My mom has told me many times that guys could be intimidated by me, and I've never believed her. If that's true, what can I do about it? I don't want to change who I am just so people will like me.

[JLBats]

Me and this girl have been talking for a while now. We dated for a few days then she broke up with me because her ex-boyfriend was a real prick to her and she wasn't ready to get into a relationship again. We still talked like we did before we dated. It was kind of weird at first but I think we got through the awkward part.

Tonight I was going to meet her at the football game. She sat with me for about the first quarter then her and her friend leave for a little bit. I go to the concession stand to get something to drink and I see her walking with another guy. I walk back up to my seat and she's sitting with him and her friends. I go sit with my friends for a while then I get pretty POed and leave. I tell her friend that I'd see her at work Sunday and I just glance over at her who I can see looking at me.

I like her a lot and I've never felt like this about anyone before. Should I say screw it and give up on her? Or should I try to tough it out with her?

It doesn't matter what advice we give you; you're gonna follow her into hell.

[Ziggyman]

Intimidating guys could also be a good thing...I think that punching the guy or whatever you did was pretty badass! He probably knows that he "deserved" that...After what he did...I don't think that hitting him hard did anything for you...If I were in his shoes, I would forgive you...If I were you...Not so sure I would forgive him...Probably would though...

...Don' t change yourself...You're still the girl Ash and I fell in love with Angel!:hehe:

[Gilpesh]

Or should I try to tough it out with her?

No. Don't. She won't tough it out with you... don't tough it out with her.

[DeGenerate10]

No. Don't. She won't tough it out with you... don't tough it out with her.

That's true. I found out tonight that she likes the other guy more than she likes me. Screw her I guess. It sucks a big one when you start to get feelings for someone then they tap dance all over those feelings.

[Gilpesh]

Get used to it. It'll happen a bunch.

[DeGenerate10]

Get used to it. It'll happen a bunch.

Unforunately you're right

[amazingfantasy15]

I probably do skip some steps in the dating process. But I have no idea what the process is. I've never dated. I mainly just play it by ear. There's no way of knowing if I'll find someone or not right now. It just feels like I'm never going to, even though it may happen someday.

I have no idea what to even ask him to do. I don't wanna pressure him, but I don't want it to be too casual as to doom myself to the dreaded Friend Zone.QUOTE]

Well, what I meant by skipping steps is going up to someone you haven't talked to in over a year and asking them out out of the blue. You've gotta have at least a little bit of a conversation before asking them out.

[QUOTE=DeGenerate10;15620295]That's true. I found out tonight that she likes the other guy more than she likes me. Screw her I guess. It sucks a big one when you start to get feelings for someone then they tap dance all over those feelings.

Like someone else said, get over it, this won't be the last time this happens. I wouldn't say to stop talking to her entirely though. Keep with the friendly vibe, she may have a cute friend that she thinks would be great for you.

[Nightmare]

That's true. I found out tonight that she likes the other guy more than she likes me. Screw her I guess. It sucks a big one when you start to get feelings for someone then they tap dance all over those feelings.

aw man, that sucks. Ive been there many times though. I know how it is.

[Angel_Faerie]

Ugh. Drawing Class Guy probably now thinks I'm bat**** crazy....or that I'm easily frustrated (which I am). Today the teacher had a bunch of objects on a table in the center of the room. The desks were pushed back and the chairs were scattered around. The teacher told us to sit around the table and draw about 20 mini-pictures ("thumbnails") of different views of the items on the table. We didn't have to draw the items in the same placement as on the table, we didn't even have to draw all the objects. These thumbnails weren't going to be taken for a grade, they were just to give us ideas on how to draw the items in interesting ways so we can draw one view we like full-size and have that be a grade. We're gonna be working on it for two weeks. Well, to be honest, I was sucking. I just couldn't draw the objects in a way that I liked. I crumpled up two different pieces of paper trying to do this. I banged my head multiple times on the cardboard we were using as hard surfaces to draw on. I was getting really frustrated. I stormed across the room to the garbage can, chucked the crumpled paper into it as hard as I could, and grumbled a little loudly "I can't ****ing draw." The teacher saw/heard this and came over and talked to me for a sec. He told me I can too draw, I just needed a little help with this particular thing. This calmed me down and he helped me work out the issues I was having in drawing the thumbnails. Now, Drawing Class Guy was sitting across the room from me, I'm assuming that's because he liked the way the objects looked over there better. He saw my whole little episode. So now I'm worried he thinks I'm schizophrenic or something....

[JLBats]

Don't worry about it, guys tend to have an irresistable attraction to crazy women. For evidence of this, see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Jules et Jim, Out of the Past, and pretty much any other movie made in the last 100 years by a french guy.

[Angel_Faerie]

Don't worry about it, guys tend to have an irresistable attraction to crazy women. For evidence of this, see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Jules et Jim, Out of the Past, and pretty much any other movie made in the last 100 years by a french guy.

Not helping.... :dry:

[Nightmare]

you said "i cant ****ing draw" in a classroom?

[Harlekin]

Yeah, you really shouldn't worry about this. Everybody can get frustrated and this is hardly something that makes or breaks anything. What it does do is give you an excellent opening to talk to him about. "How did you do the thumbnail thing? I just couldn't get it to work myself." Depending on your personality, you might also be able to pull off a "well, obviously, you noticed that. Got a little frustrated there." + laugh.

[Angel_Faerie]

you said "i cant ****ing draw" in a classroom?

Yes. :o

Yeah, you really shouldn't worry about this. Everybody can get frustrated and this is hardly something that makes or breaks anything. What it does do is give you an excellent opening to talk to him about. "How did you do the thumbnail thing? I just couldn't get it to work myself." Depending on your personality, you might also be able to pull off a "well, obviously, you noticed that. Got a little frustrated there." + laugh.

I thought about using it as a conversation starter, but I was still pretty embarrassed. I did ask him if he liked how his thumbnails turned out, he said "kinda". I said I thought mine sucked and we both laughed a bit. That's all we really said about it. We did talk about our weekends at the beginning of class, though. He said he had a fun weekend hanging out with his buddies. I teased him saying "I hope you didn't get into too much trouble". He smirked.

Oh, quick question. There's a guy in my government class that always talks to me. If he missed something the teacher said, he asks me what he said. If he can't see something on the board, he asks me what it says. The teacher turned off the lights to put something on the overhead projector today. I hear him call my name and turn as the teacher turns the lights back on and see the guy I'm talking about trying to shine a light from his keychain at me. He frowned and said "Aww. He turned the lights back on." Now, I've heard that if a guy makes a large effort to talk to a girl, it means he likes her. I was curious if that was the case here. It seems to me to be just coincidental because I sit near him, but I could be wrong.

[JLBats]

Oh, quick question. There's a guy in my government class that always talks to me. If he missed something the teacher said, he asks me what he said. If he can't see something on the board, he asks me what it says. The teacher turned off the lights to put something on the overhead projector today. I hear him call my name and turn as the teacher turns the lights back on and see the guy I'm talking about trying to shine a light from his keychain at me. He frowned and saw "Aww. He turned the lights back on." Now, I've heard that if a guy makes a large effort to talk to a girl, it means he likes her. I was curious if that was the case here. It seems to me to be just coincidental because I sit near him, but I could be wrong.

I would say, from that description, that he at least has a casual interest in you.

[aaron]

or hes completely bored

[Angel_Faerie]

or hes completely bored

That's possible.