*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Erzengel]

This sophomore thinks she fell in love with me. How f**ked up. :huh:
I feel like not a gentlieman but c'mon, we hadn't even said more than 10 words to each other.
What's the dealio with the whole George Costanza complex. "When I like them they don't like me, and when they like me I don't like them."

You think women are the only ones who like a challenge?

But a lot of times, it has to do with this one easy reason. You're just not that attracted to her, whether it's mentally, physically, etc.

You can't help who you like and if there's nothing there, there's nothing there. While sometimes, there are both men AND women, who won't go after someone because they don't want them served up on a silver platter, there's the whole "attraction" angle that you have to recognize is or is not there.

[Erzengel]

Damn it! Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!


I screwed up! I meant to say Girl. I like Girls!

tdbt-sx5MDc

[imdaly]

Damn it! Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!


I screwed up! I meant to say Girl. I like Girls!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freudian_slip

:p

[The Apatow Crew]

tdbt-sx5MDcvideo not available.

[Erzengel]

I see it. :huh:

[The Apatow Crew]

I see it. :huh:Hey, i'm just sayin what i see.

[Erzengel]

Damn it! Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!


I screwed up! I meant to say Girl. I like Girls!

tdbt-sx5MDc

[The Apatow Crew]

tdbt-sx5MDcPolice Academy, huh?


So you say i like to dance with men? :o:wow:

[JLBats]

I have a very ****ed up situation.

I think I may have turned a lesbian straight for me, and it's deeply ****ed up because I don't feel the same way in return and now it's just awkward:huh:

Help.

[Eggyman]

I have a very ****ed up situation.

I think I may have turned a lesbian straight for me, and it's deeply ****ed up because I don't feel the same way in return and now it's just awkward:huh:

Help.

Don't worry about it. She'll be used to not getting any penis.

[knowsbleed]

I have a very ****ed up situation.

I think I may have turned a lesbian straight for me, and it's deeply ****ed up because I don't feel the same way in return and now it's just awkward:huh:

Help.

Are you not attracted to her? She became un-gay for you... give her a shot.



j/k... if she is willing to give it a go with a straight guy that means she's still experimental/unsure of her sexuality... you didn't turn her straight. Just tell her the truth, that way you can seal the fate for every straight man she encounters for the rest of her life.

[Knightsaber Priss]

I have a very ****ed up situation.

I think I may have turned a lesbian straight for me, and it's deeply ****ed up because I don't feel the same way in return and now it's just awkward:huh:

Help.

I smell the plotline for a sex comedy there. Go call Kevin Smith stat!!!

Don't worry about it. She'll be used to not getting any penis.

I don't think I personally could ever get use to something like that. In fact right now I'm feeling extremely turned on like somebody flipped a switch. Sucks that I don't have a significant other with me right now. Besides, all I have to choose in terms of available indigenous men here are Deliverance rejects and drunken frat boys. And I'd definitely not go for individuals of my own gender because they lack certain anatomical characteristics.

[Spider-Mania2]

Call me crazy, and tell me i'm wrong, but the problem most of us have here is that maybe we are over analytical.

What I mean by that is that we take certain situations, and over analyze why someone would say or do what they did, or what would happen if what we say or did too much. Its like we sort of see the possible outcomes in a situation, and let that be our guide as to whether or not we commit to a certain action.

I think this stems possibly from the fact that for most of us, most of our lives we havent been to great at doing cerstain things, and getting a girl to like you, talk with you, and what not is the one area you don't wanna stuff up, because for us its the most embarrassing, the fact that all the other people we know make this stuff look so easy.

I know some may say that this is bull, your probably right, but I was for a long time thinking that i was the only one in this world who thought this way, til I met one of my good mates, and i saw in him many of the characteristics that i know that i show, over analyzing things being the main one.

It showed me there was a lot of people out there who don't just take things at face value, and don't believe in coincidences like i do.

[knowsbleed]

C'mon G2K... women have the power. You know that you could find somebody to help you flip that switch you really wanted to. But I see your point about the indigenousosityness... slim pickin's eh?

[Knightsaber Priss]

C'mon G2K... women have the power. You know that you could find somebody to help you flip that switch you really wanted to. But I see your point about the indigenousosityness... slim pickin's eh?

I don't know, it seems like my power is at a low ebb right now. I even make street lamps dim when I walk under them sometimes, I kid you not.

And yes, the pickings here in this little town I live in are extremely slim. It's not like they won't give it up at all, but they just can't kick start my motor for some reason. Doesn't help that I'm related to 95% of the locals here too.

[Master Chief]

You think women are the only ones who like a challenge?

But a lot of times, it has to do with this one easy reason. You're just not that attracted to her, whether it's mentally, physically, etc.

You can't help who you like and if there's nothing there, there's nothing there. While sometimes, there are both men AND women, who won't go after someone because they don't want them served up on a silver platter, there's the whole "attraction" angle that you have to recognize is or is not there.

weRd, I know. Sucks that it happens so goddamn often.

[Erzengel]

Call me crazy, and tell me i'm wrong, but the problem most of us have here is that maybe we are over analytical.

What I mean by that is that we take certain situations, and over analyze why someone would say or do what they did, or what would happen if what we say or did too much. Its like we sort of see the possible outcomes in a situation, and let that be our guide as to whether or not we commit to a certain action.

I think this stems possibly from the fact that for most of us, most of our lives we havent been to great at doing cerstain things, and getting a girl to like you, talk with you, and what not is the one area you don't wanna stuff up, because for us its the most embarrassing, the fact that all the other people we know make this stuff look so easy.

I know some may say that this is bull, your probably right, but I was for a long time thinking that i was the only one in this world who thought this way, til I met one of my good mates, and i saw in him many of the characteristics that i know that i show, over analyzing things being the main one.

It showed me there was a lot of people out there who don't just take things at face value, and don't believe in coincidences like i do.
I think what you are describing is just called "inexperience". :huh:

[ttotheusher]

I think what you are describing is just called "inexperience". :huh:

Or, How I Learned To Hate Emotions.

[amazingfantasy15]

Ok here it goes.

Theres this girl I like. Shes one of my friends. She knows I like her, I told her. My friends say they think she likes me(shes doing the whole hard to get crap). Lately, shes been ditching me and my friends to hang out with some douche bag dumbass guy. Shes done this a few times in the past 2 months. Anyways, on Friday, she did it again, but this time ,she came later on and brought him. He's one of those guys that try too hard to be funny(he was trying to pull off a scottish accent). Everyone told him to stop, but he just wouldnt, very annoying. So OBVIOUSLY I was pissed. One, him being extreamly annoying and two, her bringing another guy to sit with us. So yes, i was pissed. I told my friend, ''do you wanna go?'' So we left. And she KNEW I was pissed, and this also isnt the first time shes hung out with him and i got pissed.

Anyways, so today, she messaged me on MSN.
This was the convo

Her:Hey Matty
Me:Hi
Her:Whats up?
Me:Nothing
Her:Are you ok?
Me:Yes
Her:... Whatever, ill talk to you tomorrow
Me: ok....


Then I went back into the conversation...
Me:Why did you ask if im ok? How would you know if I was mad or something over MSN?(i meant this in a nice wa,y not an ******* way mind you)
her:You're acting pissy, like before.

And thats it. WTF? Obviously im pissy. Open your eyes goddamit! Then you'll see why im ''pissy'.

So now, i gotta look forward to seeing her tomorrow. Ugh.

What should I do?

While I agree with the advice already given, prepare yourself for an answer you may not like that she doesn't like you that way and that she's going out with the douchebag. When you told her you like her, did you ask her out? Just saying you like someone doesn't mean anything if you didn't ask them out. Also, she may not necessarily be ditching you and your friends, she just has a date with the guy she's going out with. She just may not actually want to come out and say it yet, one because it's still early in their relationship and two, she knows how you feel about her and afraid she'll lose you as a friend.

[amazingfantasy15]

I think what you are describing is just called "inexperience". :huh:

Or just the normal stuff that happens when you first start going out with someone. I'm sure everyone does this and it only gets worse the more you like someone. Just have to find a way to stop thinking about that, find a way to clear your mind, I've found running to be a great way for myself.

[Erzengel]

Or just the normal stuff that happens when you first start going out with someone. I'm sure everyone does this and it only gets worse the more you like someone. Just have to find a way to stop thinking about that, find a way to clear your mind, I've found running to be a great way for myself.
From what I took from his post, it doesn't even sound like the normal stuff that goes with dating someone. It sounds like the "how do I get a girl to like me, how do I talk to the girl" type stuff you deal with before even asking out a girl. :huh:

[lemmasaurus]

Recently came out of a four-year relationship with a guy who I genuinely loved, and probably always will, to some extent. I am terribly lonely but I still talk to him all the time, and do wish that we could get back together, though I doubt he feels the same way. We're planning to hang out over Thanksgiving break.

Being single for the first time in my life (while I've been mature enough to want to be in a relationship, that is) has also made me terribly desperate. I have a little thing for a guy that I work with, but he dated one of my friends for several months and I have a feeling that it would be taboo for me to pursue him... which is something I don't even know how to go about doing anymore.

[lemmasaurus]

Double post :(

[Erzengel]

Recently came out of a four-year relationship with a guy who I genuinely loved, and probably always will, to some extent. I am terribly lonely but I still talk to him all the time, and do wish that we could get back together, though I doubt he feels the same way. We're planning to hang out over Thanksgiving break.

Being single for the first time in my life (while I've been mature enough to want to be in a relationship, that is) has also made me terribly desperate. I have a little thing for a guy that I work with, but he dated one of my friends for several months and I have a feeling that it would be taboo for me to pursue him... which is something I don't even know how to go about doing anymore.

It is a weird situation to be single after being with someone for so long. I honestly don't know what I'd do if I was single tomorrow.

First off, you should never date out of desperation because it usually leads you to settle for something less than what you deserve/want/need.

As for dating a guy who dated one of your friends, personally I wouldn't do that especially if that friend was someone really close to me. There's a possibility you can ruin your friendship.

But if you choose to go ahead with pursue it, the first step is just talking with someone and then going from there. Just be yourself and just say hi, how are you? It's not complicated. People just make it so.

[JLBats]

j/k... if she is willing to give it a go with a straight guy that means she's still experimental/unsure of her sexuality... you didn't turn her straight. Just tell her the truth, that way you can seal the fate for every straight man she encounters for the rest of her life.

That's the problem really. She was fairly certain of her lesbian status and now she's just confused as ****, and frankly I hate having been partially responsible:huh:
but at the same time feel a sense of pride.
lol

[KenK]

So, my sister is once again crying of the same guy she's been dealing with for the last 13 years. Yeah, THIRTEEN YEARS!!! In that time, she's broken up with this guy maybe once every eight or nine months. She'll hole up in her room and cry like her freakin' life is over, and my question is, should I care or sympathize with her anymore? Far as I can tell, the guy is just a short-tempered, narrow-minded mama's boy (he can't go on a vacation without his mother, so any time my sister's been out of town with him, it's with his family), and he refuses to get his act together. He refuses to admit when he's wrong, he can't take criticism, and oh yeah, he's cheated on my sister at least TWICE!!! (one of those times, there was fear that he fathered another woman's child!) I just can't understand why she keeps giving him chances. She's devoted over a third of her live this far to this guy, and he just keeps doing things to have her wishing she had never met him.

Assuming she tries to open up to me about it (not that she would), would I be within my rights to tell her she's been f***in' up, and she really needs to forget about this asshat? Because I'm at the point where she needs someone to give her some ack'right.

[Gilpesh]

should I care or sympathize with her anymore?

No.

[Crook]

He'd be a terrible brother if he didn't let her know. Even if it isn't the first time.

[AndThePickles]

Sounds like at this point, you NEED to be blunt and harsh with her.

[Erzengel]

It's never easy to sever a tie that's been part of your life that long. There's the comfortableness that's there, there's the fear that she may not find anyone else, there can even be a fear that she's not good enough for anyone else.

I agree with most of the people here, I'd just be perfectly honest with her.

[November Rain]

it's easy to use ration in matters of the heart when you aren't in the love bubble.

The problem may be that nobody ever says anything about this dude when things are going well and only when it's crap. But if you complain about him when he's crap then it's probably best to leave it alone

since it's your sister, I would go and meet up with this dude and have a rational talk with him about some of his decisions and how it affects your sister. DO NOT COME ACROSS AS AGRESSIVE.

Talk to him, heck if you are wise enough, even tape him. ANy bad stuff he says you can directly use as evidence for your sister.

to be fair which 13 years are we talking about. For something that has lasted that long, something has to be said of your sister's support network which seems to have failed her in this instant.

[Erzengel]

I knew a woman who was in like a 16-17 year relationship with a man who refused to get his act together. He had a very stable job, and was unfairly dismissed, however he remained unemployed and took these busser, bouncer jobs, even took 1 or 2 classes at the local community college, but just never really had any direction. He was a very nice guy, didn't cheat on her and what not but we constantly had to ask her, 'why are you still with him?"

Eventually, she came to realization that he wasn't going to change and broke things up. But the way that KenK mentions it no one is really telling her the things she needs to hear. As a brother, you should have some things a long time ago especially after he cheated on her.

[Knightsaber Priss]

I knew a woman who was in like a 16-17 year relationship with a man who refused to get his act together. He had a very stable job, and was unfairly dismissed, however he remained unemployed and took these busser, bouncer jobs, even took 1 or 2 classes at the local community college, but just never really had any direction. He was a very nice guy, didn't cheat on her and what not but we constantly had to ask her, 'why are you still with him?"

That just about describes 95% of the guys that live in my city.

[KenK]

Eventually, she came to realization that he wasn't going to change and broke things up. But the way that KenK mentions it no one is really telling her the things she needs to hear. As a brother, you should have some things a long time ago especially after he cheated on her.

But that's the problem, I've long since fallen into the mindset that she should move on, and I definitely have been taking that stance for like the last five years, whenever they have their stupid break-ups. I've made it abundantly clear that I don't see him getting his act together. Whenever they do get back together, I make it perfectly clear that I don't think it's worth it for her to invest time in a relationship with him.

to be fair which 13 years are we talking about.

Sophomore Year of college to present day.

For something that has lasted that long, something has to be said of your sister's support network which seems to have failed her in this instant.

Pretty much. They haven't seen the countless times she's cried for days over some argument she's had with him, all the trips they've planned where it was supposed to be just them, and he'd blow her off at the last minute, etc. Just a whole bunch of crap that he puts her through, I'm the only one privy to. She fronts for her friends all the time, I'm the only one who ever sees her really emotional. Her friends know he can be problematic, but they never see it as bad as I do. And what happens is, they always ask if he's going to join her for any social or family functions.

I just don't care anymore. My sister fronts like she's this take-charge person who makes all the right decisions, and she refuses to accept that she's f***ed up.

[Erzengel]

I think subconsciously or deliberately she's keeping that information about him from her friends. Maybe it's because she knows or she's afraid of what they may say, or she just wants them to think highly of him.

Your sister is human and probably yes builds up this facade so no one can see how she really is vulnerable. You have to be able to talk to her and not necessarily attack her about her life decisions.

[Knightsaber Priss]

I just don't care anymore. My sister fronts like she's this take-charge person who makes all the right decisions, and she refuses to accept that she's f***ed up.

Seriously, your sister sounds a lot like my younger sister. Does she have diva temper fits where she huffs and storms off when things don't go her way or you try to dispense with sage advice she doesn't want to hear too?

[amazingfantasy15]

So, my sister is once again crying of the same guy she's been dealing with for the last 13 years. Yeah, THIRTEEN YEARS!!! In that time, she's broken up with this guy maybe once every eight or nine months. She'll hole up in her room and cry like her freakin' life is over, and my question is, should I care or sympathize with her anymore? Far as I can tell, the guy is just a short-tempered, narrow-minded mama's boy (he can't go on a vacation without his mother, so any time my sister's been out of town with him, it's with his family), and he refuses to get his act together. He refuses to admit when he's wrong, he can't take criticism, and oh yeah, he's cheated on my sister at least TWICE!!! (one of those times, there was fear that he fathered another woman's child!) I just can't understand why she keeps giving him chances. She's devoted over a third of her live this far to this guy, and he just keeps doing things to have her wishing she had never met him.

Assuming she tries to open up to me about it (not that she would), would I be within my rights to tell her she's been f***in' up, and she really needs to forget about this asshat? Because I'm at the point where she needs someone to give her some ack'right.

Do they live together? After 13 years you'd think they get married or at least due the common law deal. Guy sounds like a total loser, but your sister sounds like just as big of a loser for staying with the guy this long.

[KenK]

Do they live together? After 13 years you'd think they get married or at least due the common law deal. Guy sounds like a total loser, but your sister sounds like just as big of a loser for staying with the guy this long.

They lived together for a few months, but for the most part, she's lived with me and our parents.

But yeah, I wish I knew what she finds so special about him that she refuses to believe she could it find with anyone else. And now she's 33, and convinced that it's too late to start dating other people again.

[Erzengel]

With a 50% divorce rate? Tell her a lot of people are starting over.

[November Rain]

starting over and even starting for the first time

the 30s is a perfect time to get back on the market, i can't wait till i'm 30

you can't spend 13 years chasing rainbows.

I say out her to her friends and have a personal word with him and let him know how he is affecting her.

your sister seems like she keeps up a front.

maybe the boyfriend isn't the key issue but merely a sympton of a bigger factor about her self esteem or self worth. She needs to first realise she does have a problem but inthe mean time, you and her friend briggade and your parents should step in.

[Gilpesh]

Tell your sister to stop being a f**king tard.

Seriously. With all the stuff you said, it sounds like even the good times that they may have... are still s**t and she should have gotten rid of him a long time ago.

[The Apatow Crew]

Here's some sound advice.

Never get into a relationship.


Thats the only rule you need to know.:yay:

[ttotheusher]

Here's some sound advice.

Never get into a relationship.


Thats the only rule you need to know.:yay:

Try telling that to my boys...

[The Apatow Crew]

Try telling that to my boys...Well, just tell your boys a certain story and they will get scared.

Don't let them control your life.

[batboy99]

Well, i just got off the phone with her.

It went went well. I told her exactly how i felt and what not. I asked heri f she had any feelings and she says she doesnt have feelingsl ike that for anyone at this point. But we'll see where that takes us.

Thank you SOOOOO much to those who helped me, especially you AndthePickles! You definetly gave me the right push to be more confident and to tell her now i feel, so for that, i thank you.

[Erzengel]

Well, i just got off the phone with her.

It went went well. I told her exactly how i felt and what not. I asked heri f she had any feelings and she says she doesnt have feelingsl ike that for anyone at this point. But we'll see where that takes us.

Thank you SOOOOO much to those who helped me, especially you AndthePickles! You definetly gave me the right push to be more confident and to tell her now i feel, so for that, i thank you.
Which is femalese for softening the blow. I don't see where that can take you and her. Actually there isn't a you and her. I wouldn't wait around for her to develop feelings. I'd just move on.

[The Apatow Crew]

Oh, well, theres always later on. so you never know. Atleast she knows the feelings are out there.

[JLBats]

How do you think you've gained the ability to give relationship advice now?

[The Apatow Crew]

What, i figured anyone can do it. Its not like you need a PHD to do so.

[Erzengel]

I have a PHD in sexology. :huh:

[JLBats]

What, i figured anyone can do it. Its not like you need a PH D to do so.

Well, alright. But I note most of the advice here is coming from seasoned veterans who have, like, loved and lost and stuff.

You seem to be giving the very narrow perspective of a dude with 1 relationship that, other than a potential snafu, is going along pretty well.

*shrug*

[The Apatow Crew]

Whatever so sorry i'm not a master of whoring myself.

I'm so sorry you need a reason to just give common advice.

So sorry. So i'll never post back in this thread again since i'm not "seasoned"

[Erzengel]

Are you saying, I'm a whore? :huh:

[JLBats]

Whatever so sorry i'm not a master of whoring myself.

I'm so sorry you need a reason to just give common advice.

So sorry. So i'll never post back in this thread again since i'm not "seasoned"

WOW, do you ever take **** the wrong way:huh:
I'm shocked that THAT is the post that pissed you off.
Whatever. I'm sure it's just because you never "whored" yourself.
I never told you not to give advice. I just asked WHY you would.
Do it. Give out your "common advice".
Help others.

[The Apatow Crew]

Are you saying, I'm a whore? :huh:hey basically said shut the f up if i don't know anything about the subject.

And i don't know am I? Think about that.

and this is my official last post in here.

Just try to say a nice thing and someone needs to come along and be douchebag, you know what i don't need it. especially not right now.

And to clear things up i'm not calling you a douchebag but someone else.

[Erzengel]

JAL, all JLBats just asked was why?

I mean you dropped the whole Alba thing, you kinda have a gf, why do you still have outbursts like this? :huh:

[JLBats]

hey basically said shut the f up if i don't know anything about the subject.

And i don't know am I? Think about that.

and this is my official last post in here.

Just try to say a nice thing and someone needs to come along and be douchebag, you know what i don't need it. especially not right now.

And to clear things up i'm not calling you a douchebag but someone else.

I'll edit the post, which admittedly now seems harsh, but calm down man:huh:
Don't let ME drive you away from the Hype! if you enjoy it:huh:

[AndThePickles]

Well, i just got off the phone with her.

It went went well. I told her exactly how i felt and what not. I asked heri f she had any feelings and she says she doesnt have feelingsl ike that for anyone at this point. But we'll see where that takes us.

Thank you SOOOOO much to those who helped me, especially you AndthePickles! You definetly gave me the right push to be more confident and to tell her now i feel, so for that, i thank you.

Yay, you're welcome! :heart: I'm so glad that you were honest with her. I have to agree with Erz, however...that's usually what girls say to be nice instead of flat out saying, "I don't like you." High school girls don't realize that it would be kinder to just tell the truth, unfortunately.

I would try to look for other girls. If out of the blue, this girl decides to date you, then awesome! But I wouldn't get your hopes up for any reciprocated feelings...then you'll just end up disappointed if it doesn't happen. Just remember- you are worth dating, and as cliche as it sounds, there really is someone for everyone. There are heaps of ladies out there, so no worries that only one of them might not like you that way :oldrazz:

[DV8]

so . . . DV8 has been experiencing a devious drought :( :confused: what the hell . . .

[DV8]

did venomcarnage ever get some????

[batboy99]

Yay, you're welcome! :heart: I'm so glad that you were honest with her. I have to agree with Erz, however...that's usually what girls say to be nice instead of flat out saying, "I don't like you." High school girls don't realize that it would be kinder to just tell the truth, unfortunately.

I would try to look for other girls. If out of the blue, this girl decides to date you, then awesome! But I wouldn't get your hopes up for any reciprocated feelings...then you'll just end up disappointed if it doesn't happen. Just remember- you are worth dating, and as cliche as it sounds, there really is someone for everyone. There are heaps of ladies out there, so no worries that only one of them might not like you that way :oldrazz:
I even told her to just say no if she didnt, for my sake, but she wouldnt. That might go either way though you know.

But thanks though!

[Spider-Mania2]

I think what you are describing is just called "inexperience". :huh:
Its more that I have had a proper relationship in like 3-4 years, when I were a younger man I was all the rage, then sumthin happened, right about when i started workin a proper job then it all just died in the ass.

[Erzengel]

I even told her to just say no if she didnt, for my sake, but she wouldnt. That might go either way though you know.

But thanks though!

You'd be surprised how a woman might say or do to spare your feelings. However, if she turns around one day and gives you a chance great. Just don't pine all your hopes on her.

[Erzengel]

Call me crazy, and tell me i'm wrong, but the problem most of us have here is that maybe we are over analytical.

What I mean by that is that we take certain situations, and over analyze why someone would say or do what they did, or what would happen if what we say or did too much. Its like we sort of see the possible outcomes in a situation, and let that be our guide as to whether or not we commit to a certain action.

I think this stems possibly from the fact that for most of us, most of our lives we havent been to great at doing cerstain things, and getting a girl to like you, talk with you, and what not is the one area you don't wanna stuff up, because for us its the most embarrassing, the fact that all the other people we know make this stuff look so easy.

I know some may say that this is bull, your probably right, but I was for a long time thinking that i was the only one in this world who thought this way, til I met one of my good mates, and i saw in him many of the characteristics that i know that i show, over analyzing things being the main one.

It showed me there was a lot of people out there who don't just take things at face value, and don't believe in coincidences like i do.

Its more that I have had a proper relationship in like 3-4 years, when I were a younger man I was all the rage, then sumthin happened, right about when i started workin a proper job then it all just died in the ass.
But as you get older, you kinda don't second guess yourself as much as when you were a younger person. Does she like me or doesn't she? You realize it is what it is. You have the experience by then to ascertain that no she doesn't and she's probably just being nice to you.

And with experience, you don't become nervous talking with people of the opposite sex because you done it before.

It just sounds like right now you are in a rut, and probably it's a little frustrating in your social circle right now.

[Ahura Mazda]

How long should I wait, and by waiting I mean live together, before you ask a girl to marry you or decide you will never ask her and it is pointless to continue with the relationship. It is a very subjective question and it may have no answer, but I amost have to ask it for myself.

[November Rain]

ha, are you still getting bullied by that woman from last year around xmas?

[Darthphere]

So this girl I'm talking to told me she was going to stay home last night to study for a test today, so she didn't want to hang out and that she'd see me today. She said to call her once I get out of work. So I did, and she was out, eating with her girlfriends. Should I bury her in her own yard or move her to a different location?

[November Rain]

simply don't call her. if she doesn't call you in a couple of days, move on and continued unphased by it all.

[Ahura Mazda]

ha, are you still getting bullied by that woman from last year around xmas?

actually yes but things have evolved byond my position last year.

[November Rain]

evolved positively or negatively.

from your post, it sounds like you want to get out but you don't want to hurt her feelings. Same issues as before but the stakes have gotten higher.

Don't be bullied into proposing. If your gut says it's not right, then it's not right.

diiiiigg...yourselllffff....ooooouuuutttt.....quic cccklllyyyyy

[Ahura Mazda]

No no I would say positively. There are moments I can see myself marrying her. Is it the passionate love people read about....no but it is a form of love and currently one I am benefiting from.

In any case, I don't have too much real pressure to marry her because of the Swiss tax laws that would increase our tax burden by over what we estimate to be twenty thousand if we got married. Its just that she would like a further commitment like at least being asked in the next two years.

[knowsbleed]

So this girl I'm talking to told me she was going to stay home last night to study for a test today, so she didn't want to hang out and that she'd see me today. She said to call her once I get out of work. So I did, and she was out, eating with her girlfriends. Should I bury her in her own yard or move her to a different location?

Go eat with her girlfriends... at least one of them.

[LadyVader]

So this girl I'm talking to told me she was going to stay home last night to study for a test today, so she didn't want to hang out and that she'd see me today. She said to call her once I get out of work. So I did, and she was out, eating with her girlfriends. Should I bury her in her own yard or move her to a different location?

And what, she couldn't meet you after that?

[November Rain]

No no I would say positively. There are moments I can see myself marrying her. Is it the passionate love people read about....no but it is a form of love and currently one I am benefiting from.

In any case, I don't have too much real pressure to marry her because of the Swiss tax laws that would increase our tax burden by over what we estimate to be twenty thousand if we got married. Its just that she would like a further commitment like at least being asked in the next two years.it sounds as though you are still settling though and she sounds like she wants things to progress at her pace.


completely unrelated to you, I've never understood people who wouldn't just let life lead them places in its own time. People who put time limits on marriage, babies etc are trying to control situations outside of their control.

also the notion that an engagement means anything in this day and age is also funny. When marriages can be taken and dropped within 24 hours and engagements can last over 10 years, it's all completely relative.

[ttotheusher]

So I just found out that the girl who I fancy like mad is dating someone else. :csad: And, of course, he had to be some douchey guy who likes running, and has a car, and is really good looking. You know, I know that she turned me down, and I probably should of shrugged it off and walked away, but I cant stop thinking of her. If anything, her turning me down made me start liking her more. And she's a pretty popular girl, very attractive, it was inevitable she would find someone, but its still a kick in the nuts you know? Sigh. I know, walk away, shrug it off. Still doesnt take the sting away though.

[November Rain]

in a courting experience, there should always be mutual attraction before any engagement starts, otherwise it turns into one way idolation which is never a good foundation for a relationship.

instead of spending your time persuing, have a break and a real long hard break about the qualities in yourself that you could excentuate in order to become desireable yourself.

i mean you called a dude some douche because he has a car, likes running and is really good looking but he has pretty much done what i suggested and played to his strengths. It's about time you play to yours.

then you won't have time to be thinking about this chick because others will be kicking your door down.

[KenK]

So I just found out that the girl who I fancy like mad is dating someone else. :csad: And, of course, he had to be some douchey guy who likes running, and has a car, and is really good looking. You know, I know that she turned me down, and I probably should of shrugged it off and walked away, but I cant stop thinking of her. If anything, her turning me down made me start liking her more. And she's a pretty popular girl, very attractive, it was inevitable she would find someone, but its still a kick in the nuts you know? Sigh. I know, walk away, shrug it off. Still doesnt take the sting away though.

Dude, guys like you are part of the reason guys like me keep getting the same bull**** from women; As disapppointed as I would be in a girl telling me she's not interested in me, I'd actually be accepting of a woman just telling me she's not interested. I'd like to believe that if a woman tells me she's not interested, I'd believe her and keep it moving. You, and a lot of guys like you refuse take that clear declaration and continue to pursue a woman! Which forces women to pull this whole "I'm just going to act interested, and forget about this guy, hoping he takes the hint" bull****!!

I've been interested in one of my co-workers for about two months now, and I finally made my move yesterday. When I asked if she'd be interested us getting to know each other outside of work, explained my being attracted to her, etc., she said "maybe" a few times, then said yes, she was interested. But then, she goes into this whole schpeel about not knowing to what extent I wanted to get to know her, and furthermore, didn't even wait for me to ask her out on a specific night before telling me she was busy this weekend. Now, if she's busy, she's busy. But it's like she couldn't wait to volunteer that information.

Bottom line, I'm 28 years old, I don't have time for games. I don't have time for women who want to "spare my feelings" instead of just being honest. This girl you're hung up on is being honest with you, and you need to move the hell on. Hell, it's not like she's single and you can try to convince her that you're worth her attention. SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!!! I could understand if there's some established mutual attraction or you two tend to act in a flirtatious manner with one another, but even that's a dicey proposition. Believe me, a woman rejecting you up front (so long as she's not mean about, mind you), is a helluva lot better than being led to believe this girl has an interest in you, only to leave you hanging, wondering what you could have done wrong, when the answer is . . . NOTHING!!! Even my girlfriend of a year and a half decided this would be a good way to break up with me, "I'll just stop talking to him, and hope he takes the hint"!!!

[amazingfantasy15]

So I just found out that the girl who I fancy like mad is dating someone else. :csad: And, of course, he had to be some douchey guy who likes running, and has a car, and is really good looking. You know, I know that she turned me down, and I probably should of shrugged it off and walked away, but I cant stop thinking of her. If anything, her turning me down made me start liking her more. And she's a pretty popular girl, very attractive, it was inevitable she would find someone, but its still a kick in the nuts you know? Sigh. I know, walk away, shrug it off. Still doesnt take the sting away though.

Damn, I'm a douchebag!?!? I didn't even know, I like running and have a car (not entirely sure about the looks), maybe he's just a douchebag because he's got the object of your desire. Right now you're just feeling the whole want what you can't have thing. Take the blinders off, find a new girl to like and ask out.

Dude, guys like you are part of the reason guys like me keep getting the same bull**** from women; As disapppointed as I would be in a girl telling me she's not interested in me, I'd actually be accepting of a woman just telling me she's not interested. I'd like to believe that if a woman tells me she's not interested, I'd believe her and keep it moving. You, and a lot of guys like you refuse take that clear declaration and continue to pursue a woman! Which forces women to pull this whole "I'm just going to act interested, and forget about this guy, hoping he takes the hint" bull****!!

I've been interested in one of my co-workers for about two months now, and I finally made my move yesterday. When I asked if she'd be interested us getting to know each other outside of work, explained my being attracted to her, etc., she said "maybe" a few times, then said yes, she was interested. But then, she goes into this whole schpeel about not knowing to what extent I wanted to get to know her, and furthermore, didn't even wait for me to ask her out on a specific night before telling me she was busy this weekend. Now, if she's busy, she's busy. But it's like she couldn't wait to volunteer that information.

Bottom line, I'm 28 years old, I don't have time for games. I don't have time for women who want to "spare my feelings" instead of just being honest. This girl you're hung up on is being honest with you, and you need to move the hell on. Hell, it's not like she's single and you can try to convince her that you're worth her attention. SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!!! I could understand if there's some established mutual attraction or you two tend to act in a flirtatious manner with one another, but even that's a dicey proposition. Believe me, a woman rejecting you up front (so long as she's not mean about, mind you), is a helluva lot better than being led to believe this girl has an interest in you, only to leave you hanging, wondering what you could have done wrong, when the answer is . . . NOTHING!!! Even my girlfriend of a year and a half decided this would be a good way to break up with me, "I'll just stop talking to him, and hope he takes the hint"!!!

In the bold was you're mistake, you should've just asked her out for drinks or dinner right off the bat, not gone with the whole "let's get to know each other outisde of work" angle. You didn't make you're intentions totally clear and sounds like you came off wishy washy and not entirely confident, major turn offs to a girl. You started with the games, not her.

[AndThePickles]

So I just found out that the girl who I fancy like mad is dating someone else. :csad: And, of course, he had to be some douchey guy who likes running, and has a car, and is really good looking. You know, I know that she turned me down, and I probably should of shrugged it off and walked away, but I cant stop thinking of her. If anything, her turning me down made me start liking her more. And she's a pretty popular girl, very attractive, it was inevitable she would find someone, but its still a kick in the nuts you know? Sigh. I know, walk away, shrug it off. Still doesnt take the sting away though.

1. Don't call the guy douchey just because you're jealous that she's dating someone (and it sounds like you're also jealous of him. He sounds like a catch to me- athletic and really good looking, and has his act together and has a car? That's a good thing.). Jealousy = bad habit to get into, period.

2. How is it a kick in the nuts? It's not like she refused a date and she was single. That shouldn't sting at all...she was just taken already.

3. You're very much right: Walk away and shrug it off. This isn't a big deal; there are lots of girls out there.

[terry78]

Haha, I'm sure the man feels much better now after three people telling his ass off. :o

But seriously, it's the only way these kids'll learn.

[ttotheusher]

Haha, I'm sure the man feels much better now after three people telling his ass off. :o

But seriously, it's the only way these kids'll learn.

Actually, I do agree. I was being a complete prat. I was in a pretty bad mood when I wrote that, but thats no excuse really. I'm not really too bothered by it now. The real problem I face is the lack of women around me. I genuinly dont know any. Maybe thats why I lavished so much attention on this girl, because shes the first one to show me affection in a long time.

[Erzengel]

You have fallen into the same trap that most of us have at some time in our lives. It's just so easy to become smitten with someone who's the only one who's giving you attention.

The trick is to put yourself in situations where you can meet more women, such as after school activities or even stuff around the community.

I don't know if you are in school or not but you also have university to look forward to and you'd definitely meet more women there.

[ttotheusher]

You have fallen into the same trap that most of us have at some time in our lives. It's just so easy to become smitten with someone who's the only one who's giving you attention.

The trick is to put yourself in situations where you can meet more women, such as after school activities or even stuff around the community.

I don't know if you are in school or not but you also have university to look forward to and you'd definitely meet more women there.

I'm in college now, but its quite a secular course. We dont really mingle with anyone outside of our class unfortunatly. But things are looking up, I've got invited to a couple of parties and dinners and stuff, I am trying to get myself out there.

[Ghostvirus]

Dude, guys like you are part of the reason guys like me keep getting the same bull**** from women; As disapppointed as I would be in a girl telling me she's not interested in me, I'd actually be accepting of a woman just telling me she's not interested. I'd like to believe that if a woman tells me she's not interested, I'd believe her and keep it moving. You, and a lot of guys like you refuse take that clear declaration and continue to pursue a woman! Which forces women to pull this whole "I'm just going to act interested, and forget about this guy, hoping he takes the hint" bull****!!

I've been interested in one of my co-workers for about two months now, and I finally made my move yesterday. When I asked if she'd be interested us getting to know each other outside of work, explained my being attracted to her, etc., she said "maybe" a few times, then said yes, she was interested. But then, she goes into this whole schpeel about not knowing to what extent I wanted to get to know her, and furthermore, didn't even wait for me to ask her out on a specific night before telling me she was busy this weekend. Now, if she's busy, she's busy. But it's like she couldn't wait to volunteer that information.

Bottom line, I'm 28 years old, I don't have time for games. I don't have time for women who want to "spare my feelings" instead of just being honest. This girl you're hung up on is being honest with you, and you need to move the hell on. Hell, it's not like she's single and you can try to convince her that you're worth her attention. SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND!!! I could understand if there's some established mutual attraction or you two tend to act in a flirtatious manner with one another, but even that's a dicey proposition. Believe me, a woman rejecting you up front (so long as she's not mean about, mind you), is a helluva lot better than being led to believe this girl has an interest in you, only to leave you hanging, wondering what you could have done wrong, when the answer is . . . NOTHING!!! Even my girlfriend of a year and a half decided this would be a good way to break up with me, "I'll just stop talking to him, and hope he takes the hint"!!!


WOOORRDD!!:up:

Had this exact problem earlier this year. That ***** is tortuous man! TORTOUS!!!!!! To all the ladies out there just tell the man you aren't interested in, that you aren't *****ing interested!!!!!!

[batboy99]

Random question and doesnt really have to do with dating or anything

But is it weird for a guy to hang around girls more than other guys? Most of my friends are girls and i only have been hanging out with girls this semester, i dunno, is it weird? I do have guy friends, but they arent as good friends like the girls are. Is this weird or nothing big?

[KenK]

Random question and doesnt really have to do with dating or anything

But is it weird for a guy to hang around girls more than other guys? Most of my friends are girls and i only have been hanging out with girls this semester, i dunno, is it weird? I do have guy friends, but they arent as good friends like the girls are. Is this weird or nothing big?

Aside from people thinking you're gay, you mean? I keed, I Keed!

Seriously, though, I don't know. My male friends are usually the ones I can't count on more often than not. My best friends who are males, they're like family to me, no question. My female friends, they're good, but we're not as much a fixture in each other's lives.

If you're closer to females as friends than males, that's just you (and I'm sure a lot of other guys). Nothing inherently weird about it.

[batboy99]

Well, my guy friends, i dont got much in common with. Theyre all into video games and stuff and im not. And noe of them, all he seems to talk about is getting high, it annoys the **** outta me! My female friends though, arnet those bubbley girls who worry about much their nails etc. They're very grounded and down to earth really. They're like ''one of the guys'' in a way.

I mean, i see alot of people in my school with all girls and one guy, and they arent gay, so i guess its alright. My female friends just arent your typical ''females''

[DV8]

WOOORRDD!!:up:

Had this exact problem earlier this year. That ***** is tortuous man! TORTOUS!!!!!! To all the ladies out there just tell the man you aren't interested in, that you aren't *****ing interested!!!!!!

GV . . . how the hell have you been man?? you been out there crushing the poon, or what??

[AndThePickles]

Well, my guy friends, i dont got much in common with. Theyre all into video games and stuff and im not. And noe of them, all he seems to talk about is getting high, it annoys the **** outta me! My female friends though, arnet those bubbley girls who worry about much their nails etc. They're very grounded and down to earth really. They're like ''one of the guys'' in a way.

I mean, i see alot of people in my school with all girls and one guy, and they arent gay, so i guess its alright. My female friends just arent your typical ''females''

The danger in that in high school is people stereotyping you as "not masculine" because you only hang out with girls. Sucks, but a lot of people are prejudiced at that age.

[batboy99]

Meh, f*** em, i say.

[terry78]

Meh, f*** em, i say.

LOL, never leave yourself open with a line like that. :oldrazz:

[batboy99]

Huh?



oh....



nope,still dont get it.

[Knightsaber Priss]

God, I'm feeling a little bit down right now. All I really want at this moment is acceptance of who I am and love and support, but so far I've found nothing.

[Master Chief]

...hrm. :o

Well, words of advice from my mentor, find someone who can give that s**t to you and stick with them because that's 90% of your life happiness. :heart:

[The Battousai]

Is it unprecedented to be having a mutually meaningful relationship with someone who's 17?

Just wondering

[JLBats]

Not particular to romantic relationships:

Recently, after I had someone fall in love with me who I did not love back, and having to face some pretty confusing consequences in terms of my network of friends and its effects on them, I've found myself unable to relate to most people.
And perhaps purposefully distancing myself from others.
I wouldn't bring it up, except it's getting worse.

[November Rain]

You need to elaborate.

did a friend hit on you that you don't fancy, but then it's stopped you interacting with your original social group.

so how are you unable to relate to them, or is it to her?

actually is it a dude, you went out of your way to leave a gender out of your description, have you detached because a dude friend has a crush on you?

[Knightsaber Priss]

...hrm. :o

Well, words of advice from my mentor, find someone who can give that s**t to you and stick with them because that's 90% of your life happiness. :heart:

Thanks alot for the support. I just have not been myself lately what with forgetting to pay rent on time and missing an important appointment with apartment management. I'm just wondering what the hell has gotten into me lately. I'm really trying to find someone who's kind of like me personality wise but yet has a few divergent personality quirks that balances out some of my weak points. I thought I might have found him but I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe this is half my problem, plus I kind of had something revealed to me which has shed a lot of light on something from my distant, oh, 12 years back past that has been troubling me as well. I just need a few reassurances from a few parties because I feel like I might need to make a huge decision in the near future. I'm not so much terrified of making the decision. It's the reaction to that decision that scares me the most because said revelation was not a very cheerful one.


......or maybe I'm just having an early mid-life crisis.

Not particular to romantic relationships:

Recently, after I had someone fall in love with me who I did not love back, and having to face some pretty confusing consequences in terms of my network of friends and its effects on them, I've found myself unable to relate to most people.
And perhaps purposefully distancing myself from others.
I wouldn't bring it up, except it's getting worse.

I can relate to your confusion because I'm going through a similar thing. Love is a pretty screwed up thing, and it's even more screwed up when it's a one way relationship. Believe me since I know both ends of the spectrum, when you are the one who's fallen in love with someone who's not in love with you it's even more painful for them. I haven't been able to eat properly, I haven't been able to sleep, I even called in sick last night to work because mentally I feel physical ill. All of my waking moments are filled with the pain of loneliness and a neverending ache in my heart because I just have no clue what to do now. I'm caught in this particularly cruel trap that keeps opening up old wounds of insecurity. Pretty soon my heart will be nothing more than a lump of gelatinous pulp from having knives twisting inside it. It's even starting to show on the outside because I look like hell from all the weight I've lost from barely eating.

I can tell you right now the hardest thing for me to take is that I'm the one causing all the pain. I hate that my very existence is causing all of this turmoil. It tears me apart that I can't stop how I feel either.

[Ahura Mazda]

I have a question for those in long standing relationships.

I have a girl freind who during the whole 'dating' process (what I mean by that is the not living together part) was somehwat different in bed then she is now. Before, we were sleeping together 4/5 times a week. She was coming to bed always naked and we would not be going to sleep right away.

Now, she is always wearing pyjamas and unless it is the weekend, nothing much happens in bed.

I am curious to know whether this is normal or I am just unlucky.

[Magneto29]

Maybe she got tired of feeling obligated to have sex every day... :p Give her a break.

[Erzengel]

Nothing beats those first few years. :o

I think many couples after years of dating come to a "comfortableness" in a relationship, almost like a married couple. Instead of coming to bed with baby dolls and lace panties, it's flannel pjs and t-shirts.

This also is a sympton of "sex" becoming routine as well. The trick is always first communication, "Honey, I love that little white thing you wore a while, back you looked amazing in it." Spice things up don't let things become routine or worst yet scheduled.

[Ahura Mazda]

Trust me; I try but it is often an uphill battle as I was even told was that what happenned before was marketing :(. Plus she adds that she has to wear these clothes for health reasons citing arthritis in her shoulder which she developped from her championship swimming days. Of course, it was never an issue when we did not live with each other.

Anyways, I guess everyone has their problems and I should count myself lucky relative to other people. Thank you for letting me rant anonymously about certain things I do not discuss in public.

[November Rain]

The best thing would be an internal re-evaluation of the importance of the sex with your partner?

Personally i think a lil death is inevitable and have learnt not to put too much stock into it.

The west has definitely put way too much stock into it, marriage has now become the pursuit of longlife great sex life instead of some hardcore partnership. Even the idea of marriage without sex is somewhat laughed at. I used to laugh at it too but now i can see the huge benefits of keeping it a separate entity.

[Ahura Mazda]

I will be honest and for me, it is an essential element albeit not the only one. Without sex, I doubt I would even consider being in such a relationship unless there was going to be sex in the future. It may sound harsh especially as the question then arises of what do you do if you or your partner can no longer have sex. Everybody hopes they would say it would not change anything emotionally but I am of those who think it changes the dynamics of the relationship and therefore its survivability comes into question.

[November Rain]

may i ask why it is so important?

[Ahura Mazda]

That is a good question and one I do not have a very good answer to apart from I like it. For me, it is one of the greatest peasures in life and my life is about enjoying what I can about it. I like to have good wine, eat good food, live comfortably and enjoy physical activites with women who hold my affection.

I do not think sex without emotion is very enjoyable however.

[November Rain]

It's interesting your answers are more about what you get out of it rather than what you both get out of it. There seems to be no synergy although you do say sex with emotion.

Is that joint emotion or just from yourself.

What type of emotion are we talking about, love or just a simple manifestation of desire?
Is it the act of being desired personally or to persue and obtain something that you yourself desire?

is your craving for good wine and good food also based on an emotional desire to obtain the highest quality?

[AndThePickles]

I have a question for those in long standing relationships.

I have a girl freind who during the whole 'dating' process (what I mean by that is the not living together part) was somehwat different in bed then she is now. Before, we were sleeping together 4/5 times a week. She was coming to bed always naked and we would not be going to sleep right away.

Now, she is always wearing pyjamas and unless it is the weekend, nothing much happens in bed.

I am curious to know whether this is normal or I am just unlucky.

Only you can know what type of sex life is "normal" for you two. However, if the relationship is healthy, your sex life shouldn't just die. Have you had a long talk with her about it? Do you still go out of your way to make her feel sexy? If she isn't enjoying the sex, then I doubt that SHE would bother to go out of her way. She may be bored.

[Ahura Mazda]

It's interesting your answers are more about what you get out of it rather than what you both get out of it. There seems to be no synergy although you do say sex with emotion.

Is that joint emotion or just from yourself.

What type of emotion are we talking about, love or just a simple manifestation of desire?
Is it the act of being desired personally or to persue and obtain something that you yourself desire?

is your craving for good wine and good food also based on an emotional desire to obtain the highest quality?

Joint of course; one way is pointless.

[Ahura Mazda]

Only you can know what type of sex life is "normal" for you two. However, if the relationship is healthy, your sex life shouldn't just die. Have you had a long talk with her about it? Do you still go out of your way to make her feel sexy? If she isn't enjoying the sex, then I doubt that SHE would bother to go out of her way. She may be bored.

Yes we have had a long discussion about it and she is blaming her birth control pills. I do my best to make her feel sexy all times of the day some times going out of my way to do so. And she says she enjoys it very much but her head is currently not into it (the fault being the pill). I have suggested she stop using the pill but she apparently does not want to do making me think it is just an excuse. I do think within myself that I am at fault but I am not willing to comepletely overhaul my own personality for her and I have not changed my attitude since we started dating apart from becoming closer to her.

I know the current environment does not help (she is a private banker and her job is very boring right now) but she does not want to do much plus she hates these winter months.

I try and facilitate her life and do my best to give her the best. Of course, I have my own faults and things I will not compromise on but she knew those before we ever moved in together. She says she is very in love with me. I know she is not with me for the money as well, so I plod on hoping things will change.

And by the way, I am the type of guy who does many romantic things for her. I do not rest on my 'laurels'.

[amazingfantasy15]

Thanks alot for the support. I just have not been myself lately what with forgetting to pay rent on time and missing an important appointment with apartment management. I'm just wondering what the hell has gotten into me lately. I'm really trying to find someone who's kind of like me personality wise but yet has a few divergent personality quirks that balances out some of my weak points. I thought I might have found him but I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe this is half my problem, plus I kind of had something revealed to me which has shed a lot of light on something from my distant, oh, 12 years back past that has been troubling me as well. I just need a few reassurances from a few parties because I feel like I might need to make a huge decision in the near future. I'm not so much terrified of making the decision. It's the reaction to that decision that scares me the most because said revelation was not a very cheerful one.

......or maybe I'm just having an early mid-life crisis.

I can relate to your confusion because I'm going through a similar thing. Love is a pretty screwed up thing, and it's even more screwed up when it's a one way relationship. Believe me since I know both ends of the spectrum, when you are the one who's fallen in love with someone who's not in love with you it's even more painful for them. I haven't been able to eat properly, I haven't been able to sleep, I even called in sick last night to work because mentally I feel physical ill. All of my waking moments are filled with the pain of loneliness and a neverending ache in my heart because I just have no clue what to do now. I'm caught in this particularly cruel trap that keeps opening up old wounds of insecurity. Pretty soon my heart will be nothing more than a lump of gelatinous pulp from having knives twisting inside it. It's even starting to show on the outside because I look like hell from all the weight I've lost from barely eating.

I can tell you right now the hardest thing for me to take is that I'm the one causing all the pain. I hate that my very existence is causing all of this turmoil. It tears me apart that I can't stop how I feel either.

You really need to find a hobby to get your mind off your relationship woes. Think of something that you want to do and work on that, it'll probably help you out. Just venting to a message board obviously isn't working. You need to do something for just yourself that will get your mind off things

[Knightsaber Priss]

You really need to find a hobby to get your mind off your relationship woes. Think of something that you want to do and work on that, it'll probably help you out. Just venting to a message board obviously isn't working. You need to do something for just yourself that will get your mind off things

Oh trust me at this moment I am quite over a certain somebody who knows whom I'm referring to. At this point in time love has definitely turned exclusively to hate for being his little puppet girl he's been stringing along for so long. As of this moment my strings are broken. Maybe I'll get over it, but not any time soon. Like I said...when you ensnare two phoenixes in a cruel trap the escape will not be a pleasant one. It's amazing he has everyone thinking he's this great guy, and I have no doubt in my mind he can be one, but just don't fall in love with him if you're a woman.

[Knightsaber Priss]

I have a question for those in long standing relationships.

I have a girl freind who during the whole 'dating' process (what I mean by that is the not living together part) was somehwat different in bed then she is now. Before, we were sleeping together 4/5 times a week. She was coming to bed always naked and we would not be going to sleep right away.

Now, she is always wearing pyjamas and unless it is the weekend, nothing much happens in bed.

I am curious to know whether this is normal or I am just unlucky.

Hmmmm...how long have you two been together?

[Ahura Mazda]

Hmmmm...how long have you two been together?

Since April 2007

[Knightsaber Priss]

Since April 2007

Hmmmm.....and she just recently started this behavior I believe? I think it's about time you started subtly insinuating you want some action in bed with the girl like caressing in a sensual manner or something. Start kissing her in places you know turns her on like her neck or nibble on her ear. Whatever comes to you. I'm pretty sure, unless her mind is elsewhere, she'll get the hint you'd like to see her shed those pajamas. If that doesn't work you could always grab her in a steamy passionate embrace and tell her you want her. Sometimes you just have to initiate things because some girls get way too comfortable and complacent in a relationship. I also highly recommend you engage in some flirtations throughout the day. As a woman myself I can speak with absolute certainty a little stroke, caress or a kiss here and there throughout the day entices a woman to think romantically. Most importantly trust your sexual instinct.

[November Rain]

zilla, that's like the worst advice ever....

[Eggyman]

Since April 2007

So you're fairly comfortable by now? Thought so. You have an understanding of each other, and have a relationship based on trust, honesty, and sex rituals? Cool.

Just ask her. 'Hey, biotch! Why we no make the **** any more?'

If she gives you an honest answer, you can work it out.

[Knightsaber Priss]

zilla, that's like the worst advice ever....

Hey, it works for me all the time. It gets my desire rising like you wouldn't believe. A slow build of anticipation all day for something mind blowing is always a good thing. Think of it as a courtship dance, but for humans.

[Ahura Mazda]

Hmmmm.....and she just recently started this behavior I believe? I think it's about time you started subtly insinuating you want some action in bed with the girl like caressing in a sensual manner or something. Start kissing her in places you know turns her on like her neck or nibble on her ear. Whatever comes to you. I'm pretty sure, unless her mind is elsewhere, she'll get the hint you'd like to see her shed those pajamas. If that doesn't work you could always grab her in a steamy passionate embrace and tell her you want her. Sometimes you just have to initiate things because some girls get way too comfortable and complacent in a relationship. I also highly recommend you engage in some flirtations throughout the day. As a woman myself I can speak with absolute certainty a little stroke, caress or a kiss here and there throughout the day entices a woman to think romantically. Most importantly trust your sexual instinct.

Thank you but that is a strategy I have been using since the whole thing started and I think it is the only reason anything even happens anymore. But all I know is that given the results it is not enough.

[Ahura Mazda]

And thanks Eggyman, I hope you don't mind if I use that quote. ;)

In any case, my whole fantasy about living with a woman and having intimate relations with her every day has been shatterred :o.

[November Rain]

Hey, it works for me all the time. It gets my desire rising like you wouldn't believe. A slow build of anticipation all day for something mind blowing is always a good thing. Think of it as a courtship dance, but for humans.
This doesn't solve the problem of people with different sex drives. It solves the problem of people who have too much going in their own lives to persue their normal sex drive.

[November Rain]

In any case, my whole fantasy about living with a woman and having intimate relations with her every day has been shatterred :o.
You honestly might wanna take this one on the chin.

[amazingfantasy15]

So how soon is too soon to invite a girl to a friends party? I'm going on my fourth date with a girl this weekend and wanted to invite her to my friend's Christmas party in two weeks, it's a pretty low ket party, nothing fancy, but would like her to meet some of my friends and go with me. Is it too soon though?

[Erzengel]

I think you can use yourself as a gauge. I mean you would have been with her on like 4 dates by then? So you should be rather comfortable with her. I don't see why not. The only thing is to make sure you don't neglect her at the party.

[AndThePickles]

Yes we have had a long discussion about it and she is blaming her birth control pills. I do my best to make her feel sexy all times of the day some times going out of my way to do so. And she says she enjoys it very much but her head is currently not into it (the fault being the pill). I have suggested she stop using the pill but she apparently does not want to do making me think it is just an excuse. I do think within myself that I am at fault but I am not willing to comepletely overhaul my own personality for her and I have not changed my attitude since we started dating apart from becoming closer to her.

I know the current environment does not help (she is a private banker and her job is very boring right now) but she does not want to do much plus she hates these winter months.

I try and facilitate her life and do my best to give her the best. Of course, I have my own faults and things I will not compromise on but she knew those before we ever moved in together. She says she is very in love with me. I know she is not with me for the money as well, so I plod on hoping things will change.

And by the way, I am the type of guy who does many romantic things for her. I do not rest on my 'laurels'.

What's her reason for not wanting to at least just switch current pill BRANDS? That usually works. Honestly, it sounds like the problem lies with her...she's allowing herself to be bored and complacent and sinking into a rut. It's not something you should just put up with...you really need to make it clear to her that this is something you need her to actively start working on for your relationship health.

Since April 2007

Then it really hasn't been that long...no way should she just not want to have sex now.

[CrashNburn]

it's ok to want sex. we're all human and it's a need. it's definitely something that you want to talk to your partner about. some people make sex out to be a bad thing. you need to break it too her easy that you feel that there's too much of a lack of sex. when you think about it, sex is one of the things that signifies a couple. without it, it's like you're just really good friends. you should be connected physically and mentally. that's what i think. it's important.

[Knightsaber Priss]

Thank you but that is a strategy I have been using since the whole thing started and I think it is the only reason anything even happens anymore. But all I know is that given the results it is not enough.

Sounds to me like the girl's taking you too much for granted right now. If you've tried everything to raise her desire I think a serious talk about how you feel and what you're missing is your only option.

Anyways, on another note, my words of wisdom concerning romance today is this: Sometimes you need to listen to your heart and not your friends.

[Erzengel]

I've known a few women who just hit a lull in their sex lives, whether it's hormonal, situational or stress. Most women bounce back.

[Mee]

Morg: "and I love to watch them bounce.:oldrazz::hehe:"

[Erzengel]

Yeah watching them on webcam. :whatever:

[Ahura Mazda]

Well I thank you all for your advice eventhough there is not much to be said in my situation. I am not totally happy but I guess that I am not alone in my assesment as others are worse off. I really have to decide within myself if I am wiling to settle for the sex life I have and will have with her or decide how to satisfy myself elsewhere (which is not really an option) or just move on. Already I am curious how it will be when we take a two week holiday at the end of this year. Last year we were doing things pretty much every night; then again before we moved in with each other I was seeing alot more action.

Of course, I could have dated this Russian girl that was after me (or more probably my wallet) before I met my current GF who was very gratifying in the bedroom and I must say she looked good. It was just too bad her voice was not very nice and she had a horrible personality.

[Erzengel]

There's the rub.

There is no perfect girl out there. I think at best we get 80% of what we really want and I think the mistake a lot of people make is they go looking for that 20% elsewhere and in doing so find someone who doesn't have the 80% of what we originally had.

Yes sex or more importantly "intimacy" is probably one of the big 3 in relationships, and you have to ask yourself just how "unfixiable" or how important it is to you.

[LadyVader]

I have a problem with a friend of mine, one of my best friends in fact, known him since he was 16, now he just turned 20. The older he gets the more negative he gets. About other people (he often makes hateful comments about how certain people "should be shot", hates most of his classmates at college, worked in retail for a while hated his customers but I guess that's customary :) ) and himself (always makes fun of himself negatively, how he shouldn't do this or that because he'll mess it up just because he's him, how he's fat, ugly, socially inept etc).

Needless to say he has a lot of self confidence issues and he's never had a long term relationship. I just want to help him but how do you cure somebody of negativity. Should you even try to because maybe I'm just overeacting. Maybe he'll find a girl to love him despite his negativity. I have self confidence issues but I'm overly positive instead of overly negative.:) I don't want him to get the feeling that I'm trying to make him more like me.

He's from another town so I only get to see him once every couple of months. He;'s coming this weekend and I hope to get him to open up to me. But if I do, what do I say? Stop being so negative, it's a turn off? What can i do?

Sleeping with him is not an option. :)

[Gilpesh]

Should you even try to because maybe I'm just overeacting.

You are.





And sleep with him is the only thing I came up with.

[Erzengel]

I have a problem with a friend of mine, one of my best friends in fact, known him since he was 16, now he just turned 20. The older he gets the more negative he gets. About other people (he often makes hateful comments about how certain people "should be shot", hates most of his classmates at college, worked in retail for a while hated his customers but I guess that's customary :) ) and himself (always makes fun of himself negatively, how he shouldn't do this or that because he'll mess it up just because he's him, how he's fat, ugly, socially inept etc).

Needless to say he has a lot of self confidence issues and he's never had a long term relationship. I just want to help him but how do you cure somebody of negativity. Should you even try to because maybe I'm just overeacting. Maybe he'll find a girl to love him despite his negativity.

He's from another town so I only get to see him once every couple of months. He;'s coming this weekend and I hope to get him to open up to me. But if I do, what do I say? Stop being so negative, it's a turn off? What can i do?
Well, I think you should sle...


Sleeping with him is not an option. :)
Nevermind. :o

Honestly though, you said it yourself he has very poor self esteem. And as much as you try to build him up, I think he's in a position where the only way he can get there is through dating women. But he needs self confidence to do so. Yes, it's a tragic circle.

I mean it's painfully obvious that his lack of dating, and probably lack of female attention has made him very jaded towards himself and those around him.

I'd be honest yet, subtle with him, no one especially as "sensitive" as he seems, likes to be reminded or even introduced to their faults. You can try giving him compliments, however telling him that, would give you 2 responses: a) he won't believe you or b) he might start liking you. I think you should tell him that women dig confidence. Hey, tell him he doesn't even have to believe it, he just has to make them believe it. Take pride in the way he looks and always put his best foot forward because if he goes to a woman, with a self-defeating attitude he's already predetermined the outcome.

[Superman79]

Speaking as a guy who "spent some time on the train to negative-town" (as my buddy put it), the best thing you can do is be there for him to listen. Try and go out and have some fun together and just show him life can be enjoyable. Compliment him, but don't be pushy about it...just let him know he IS worth a damn.

Sometimes people just hit ruts in life and have to find their own way out. In your case, you can help him the most just by being his friend. Though one caveat: if he's being a royal d**k about things or to people with no real justification, don't be afraid to call him out on it. That's what friends do.

or you could just sleep with him ;) :p

[LadyVader]

I guess the best way about it... from what you both told me... is not to blurt out: "You're to negative, mr Sourpuss" but rather to just be there for him, and try to diplomatically raise his self esteem. I admit I haven't been the best possible friend because sometimes he really gets on my nerves and there's only so much I can take.

Well i don't know about being a royal d**k but sometimes he's just so frustrating. Like for instance, he hates the place I work. The place where I work is considering opening up a branch in his home town and he's pissed off at me because I didn't tell my boss to offer him a job (being that he's a photographer and we might need one of those).

"but, dude, you said you hate my firm!"
"I know what I said, but I can be a professional!"
"but, maybe we don't want to hire somebody who you know... hates us!"
"We? We as in you too?"

[Erzengel]

I'm curious though, how careful are you around considering he's a male and you're a female in his life? :huh:

[Superman79]

sounds d**kish to me. :o

Frankly, if he continues to take things out on you unfairly, then I might be ok, with you calling him out on it...at least as far as he treats you. You're his friend and don't deserve to be treated like s**t.

[amazingfantasy15]

I guess the best way about it... from what you both told me... is not to blurt out: "You're to negative, mr Sourpuss" but rather to just be there for him, and try to diplomatically raise his self esteem. I admit I haven't been the best possible friend because sometimes he really gets on my nerves and there's only so much I can take.

Well i don't know about being a royal d**k but sometimes he's just so frustrating. Like for instance, he hates the place I work. The place where I work is considering opening up a branch in his home town and he's pissed off at me because I didn't tell my boss to offer him a job (being that he's a photographer and we might need one of those).

"but, dude, you said you hate my firm!"
"I know what I said, but I can be a professional!"
"but, maybe we don't want to hire somebody who you know... hates us!"
"We? We as in you too?"

Maybe you shouldn't blurt out "Don't be so negative", but when he does start ranting, try to change the subject to something positive. That or just say "You constant negativity is bumming me out, isn't the some positive in your life?"

[LadyVader]

I'm curious though, how careful are you around considering he's a male and you're a female in his life? :huh:

I think the more relevant thing here is that we're both individuals with self esteem issues.

@amazingfantasy15

It's gotten to the point where I'm genuinely scared to tell him about nything good that has happened in my life because his general atitude is: "oh... that could never happen to me". I'm sure on some level he's happy for me, but the words that come out are you guessed it. Negative. :)

[Erzengel]

I think the more relevant thing here is that we're both individuals with self esteem issues.
Understood.

[amazingfantasy15]

I think the more relevant thing here is that we're both individuals with self esteem issues.

@amazingfantasy15

It's gotten to the point where I'm genuinely scared to tell him about nything good that has happened in my life because his general atitude is: "oh... that could never happen to me". I'm sure on some level he's happy for me, but the words that come out are you guessed it. Negative. :)

Just tell him with an attitude like that, you're right.

[Superman79]

It's gotten to the point where I'm genuinely scared to tell him about nything good that has happened in my life because his general atitude is: "oh... that could never happen to me". I'm sure on some level he's happy for me, but the words that come out are you guessed it. Negative. :)

Sounds like this guy might need some tough love to get his ass of the Self-Pity Wagon. :o

[LadyVader]

tough with the tough love because like I said... we don't live in the same town. And how much tough love can you dispense through instant messaging? :)

[ShadowBoxing]

edit

[Eggyman]

tough with the tough love because like I said... we don't live in the same town. And how much tough love can you dispense through instant messaging? :)

Buzz him or something.

I have some smilies he might like, and I'll gladly send em. :meanie:

[terry78]

The Egg is giving romantic advice now? My Lord. :o



:oldrazz:

[ttotheusher]

I have a problem with a friend of mine, one of my best friends in fact, known him since he was 16, now he just turned 20. The older he gets the more negative he gets. About other people (he often makes hateful comments about how certain people "should be shot", hates most of his classmates at college, worked in retail for a while hated his customers but I guess that's customary :) ) and himself (always makes fun of himself negatively, how he shouldn't do this or that because he'll mess it up just because he's him, how he's fat, ugly, socially inept etc).

Needless to say he has a lot of self confidence issues and he's never had a long term relationship. I just want to help him but how do you cure somebody of negativity. Should you even try to because maybe I'm just overeacting. Maybe he'll find a girl to love him despite his negativity. I have self confidence issues but I'm overly positive instead of overly negative.:) I don't want him to get the feeling that I'm trying to make him more like me.

He's from another town so I only get to see him once every couple of months. He;'s coming this weekend and I hope to get him to open up to me. But if I do, what do I say? Stop being so negative, it's a turn off? What can i do?

Sleeping with him is not an option. :)

God bless you for trying to help someone. I'm in pretty much the same way he is, and I cant say anyones tried to help me out.

[Eggyman]

The Egg is giving romantic advice now? My Lord. :o



:oldrazz:


Here's a pork chop. Be quiet.

[CrashNburn]

lol. eggy, you're too much...i like it!

[Avangarde]

Just need a second opinion on this. I was considering asking out a friend of a friend, and I let the mutual friend know, I think she liked the idea but she warned me that she's a bit of a "dork". My take on this was that the young lass in question may be a little socially inept, and may not know the game. Would I be correct? I'm not actually sure how to deal with a dorky chick :huh: I'm use to game players.

[November Rain]

if she's saying she's a dork, it might be code saying actually you're not good enough for her.

don't go there...

[Eggyman]

Just need a second opinion on this. I was considering asking out a friend of a friend, and I let the mutual friend know, I think she liked the idea but she warned me that she's a bit of a "dork". My take on this was that the young lass in question may be a little socially inept, and may not know the game. Would I be correct? I'm not actually sure how to deal with a dorky chick :huh: I'm use to game players.

Your friend thinks she's a dork... doesn't mean that she is. What does she define a 'dork' as? Do you know this girl you're going to ask out? Have you seen her? Do you think she's a dork? Spill it.

[Eggyman]

if she's saying she's a dork, it might be code saying actually you're not good enough for her.

don't go there...

Oooo that's good thinking - the old 'Put em off because they haven't got a chance' game.

Nice.

Oz, look in to it.

[Avangarde]

Your friend thinks she's a dork... doesn't mean that she is. What does she define a 'dork' as? Do you know this girl you're going to ask out? Have you seen her? Do you think she's a dork? Spill it.

Yeah I know the girl a little, I'm not sure what her definition of "dork" is, she seems like a well cultured young gal but she kind of has this silly side to her character.

[Avangarde]

if she's saying she's a dork, it might be code saying actually you're not good enough for her.

don't go there...

Didn't think of that. Although she has given me a couple of classic signals, maybe she does know the game.

[Ahura Mazda]

Just need a second opinion on this. I was considering asking out a friend of a friend, and I let the mutual friend know, I think she liked the idea but she warned me that she's a bit of a "dork". My take on this was that the young lass in question may be a little socially inept, and may not know the game. Would I be correct? I'm not actually sure how to deal with a dorky chick :huh: I'm use to game players.

She is potentialy somebody you may have fun with but she may be a bit socially inept. Take her out, it doesn't mean you will be marrying her.

[Superman79]

I'm with Mazda on this...take her out once or twice, who knows what'll happen.
If she gave you the signals she may just be saying she's a dork because she genuinely is, or she has a self depricating sense of humor. Either way it could be fun for you.

Or Rain could be right and she's not into it, but the only way to know for sure is to ask.

As far as dealing with 'dorks'...well, lets put it this way...you ARE posting on a comic/movie related message board...so maybe you'll have an easy time of it.

Just a thought ;)

[disneyteddies]

No harm in asking ANYONE out...the worst they'll say is nope. Take a chance.

Other than that my only advice is treat her the way you would want to be treated and respect her ideas as you would want her her to respect yours. Most people take more of an interest in your interests when you take the time to explain them.

Good Luck!

[November Rain]

whatever you do, you probably should keep your mutual aquaintance out of it.

When the crap hits the fan and she has to choose sides, she'll probably go with the dork.

keep her out of it as possible

I was set up with my current girlfriend by a friend and although she sometimes makes him pick sides, i leave her out of most conversations we are having so he has some sort of neutrality.

you don't want the only thing holding you two together to be communication through a conduit.

[Avangarde]

I had a nice chat with her today which resulted in her telling me she is moving to Europe in a couple of weeks. Haha, just me luck :csad:

[November Rain]

you should have listened to me...

:o

thou hath been teh shrugged...

[disneyteddies]

At least you tried and now if she's still there there in a month you'll know the real answer. Move on to the next future Mrs. Avangarde. Or even the future Mrs. right now. LoL!

[Hobgoblin]

Whats a good way to ask out a total stranger? I keep meaning to ask out a local newspaper columnist. A friend told me to just invite her for coffee.

[November Rain]

have you ever met her in real life?

I would say make it something official so she can get to know you. Is there anything newsworthy about anything you do?

[LadyVader]

I had a nice chat with her today which resulted in her telling me she is moving to Europe in a couple of weeks. Haha, just me luck :csad:

Yaay. Come to Europe! We love dorks over here! :)

[Heretic]

"Dork" is 2008 girl talk meaning "whatever I feel like it meaning at this moment". When a girl tells me that shes a dork, I always say.."oh, so you're good in school, like comic books and action figures and play dungeons and dragons??" to which they reply "no, that would make me a loser, Im a dork meaning that I'm so...like...random"

"Random" is also 2008 girl talk meaning "I dont know the definition of the word random".

[The Senator]

Whats a good way to ask out a total stranger?

Unfortunately, there is no good way.

[ShadowBoxing]

Define total stranger. Do you mean someone you've only seen but never talked to, or someone you know casually, or what?

[Hobgoblin]

have you ever met her in real life?

I would say make it something official so she can get to know you. Is there anything newsworthy about anything you do?

Unfortunately, no on both counts.

Unfortunately, there is no good way.
Thats what I was afraid of.

Define total stranger. Do you mean someone you've only seen but never talked to, or someone you know casually, or what?

Purely and simply someone whose article I read in the local newspaper. We have a lot in common and she's single. She almost broadcasts it in her columns.

...

I'm not a stalker. Really. :o

[Gilpesh]

Unfortunately, there is no good way.

There is a good way.

Order the hot wings, and if they call you hun that means yes.

[Erzengel]

Unfortunately, no on both counts.


Thats what I was afraid of.



Purely and simply someone whose article I read in the local newspaper. We have a lot in common and she's single. She almost broadcasts it in her columns.

...

I'm not a stalker. Really. :o
Unless you have a gift for the written word and I'd stake those odds as slim, I'm afraid there's no real chance here.

Here are your options:

A) Write her a phenomenal letter that just reaches her, but more than likely, she probably gets a few of those a month if not a week, especially if she's broadcasting she's single. Of course, it could all be a facade and a way for her to get more readers by posing as "single".

B) Is essentially to stalk her in order to meet her in person. Which I really suggest strongly against.

Even option A can come across as a little creepish/stalkerish. She's a pseudo celebrity and you're a fan. I really don't see how you could pull this one off.

Sorry. :csad:

[knowsbleed]

"Dork" is 2008 girl talk meaning "whatever I feel like it meaning at this moment". When a girl tells me that shes a dork, I always say.."oh, so you're good in school, like comic books and action figures and play dungeons and dragons??" to which they reply "no, that would make me a loser, Im a dork meaning that I'm so...like...random"

"Random" is also 2008 girl talk meaning "I dont know the definition of the word random".

but... people who play D&D are losers. :huh:

[November Rain]

Demo, when she's writing, she may be writing under a alias identity that doesn't reflect the writing.

as a member of the hype, you should know that the way people write isn't necessarily the way they are in real life, especially if they use it as a form of freedom full expression.

[Hobgoblin]

Hm, all of this is true. Ah well, she's a little old for me anyway. By a whole 4 years.

[ShadowBoxing]

4 years is nothin'.

[ShadowBoxing]

"Dork" is 2008 girl talk meaning "whatever I feel like it meaning at this moment". When a girl tells me that shes a dork, I always say.."oh, so you're good in school, like comic books and action figures and play dungeons and dragons??" to which they reply "no, that would make me a loser, Im a dork meaning that I'm so...like...random"

"Random" is also 2008 girl talk meaning "I dont know the definition of the word random".
Geeks are people who play D&D and read comics. Nerds are super-smart people who pay attention in school. Dorks are spazes who are socially awkward and random.

[Gilpesh]

but... people who play D&D are losers. :huh:

HOW DARE YOU!

No one shall mock those that gave us Futurama!

[ShadowBoxing]

I've had dork sex, but I've yet to experience geek sex or nerd sex...where would you rank them.

[JLBats]

I've only ever experienced heathen metalhead sex so I can't say.

[ShadowBoxing]

Was it as good as Mongolian Tyrant sex.

[JLBats]

I dunno, but it was pretty good.

[Heretic]

Geeks are people who play D&D and read comics. Nerds are super-smart people who pay attention in school. Dorks are spazes who are socially awkward and random.


That doesnt explain why dozens of girls have said to me "I'm a dork...I...like...totally love the Spider-Man movies. I like the one with the guy with all the arms". You can not put a definition to the words that kids are using. The example I used..."random" is perfect...as almost every teenage girl I know says that they are "random". What does that even mean? "Oh, I like hip hop and Greys Anatomy...Im so random". No, that aint random (but it is poor taste).

[KenK]

I've had dork sex, but I've yet to experience geek sex or nerd sex...where would you rank them.

Has it really come to sub-categorizing sex into Geek, Dork, and Nerd?

There's kinky sex, and vanilla sex, and I guess we'd have to count "just plain wrong" sex. Beyond that, there needn't be any other sub-categories.

[ShadowBoxing]

Has it really come to sub-categorizing sex into Geek, Dork, and Nerd?

There's kinky sex, and vanilla sex, and I guess we'd have to count "just plain wrong" sex. Beyond that, there needn't be any other sub-categories.
Yes, we must sub-categorize all types of sex:cmad:. So who's had 14th century Renaissance sex

[Hobgoblin]

Geeks are people who play D&D and read comics. Nerds are super-smart people who pay attention in school. Dorks are spazes who are socially awkward and random.

What about people who are smart and paid attention but arent super smart and read comics?

[Erzengel]

Nerd
http://img217.imageshack.us/img217/7899/frinklm8.jpg

Geek
http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j213/ismellbacon/comic-book-guy.jpg

Dork
http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h278/nateduranphoto/Milhouse_denkt_1.jpg

[ShadowBoxing]

Okay, I wouldn't have sex with any of those people...

...maybe the dork, if he lost a few pounds.

[KenK]

Yes, we must sub-categorize all types of sex:cmad:. So who's had 14th century Renaissance sex

Well, actually. . .

[ShadowBoxing]

Okay, so quick question. Date with a Yankees fan, am I crossing into hazardous territory?

[terry78]

I admit I get what he's saying about girls that call themselves dorks. Stuff like, "OMG I am soo clumsy, I am such a dork, hehehehe!!!" When she's obviously of the Laguna Beach variety.

[ShadowBoxing]

I admit I get what he's saying about girls that call themselves dorks. Stuff like, "OMG I am soo clumsy, I am such a dork, hehehehe!!!" When she's obviously of the Laguna Beach variety.
xuJ8uYGQk2g

[Gilpesh]

Okay, so quick question. Date with a Yankees fan, am I crossing into hazardous territory?

Just don't bring up baseball and you'll be fine... maybe. And don't bring up Madonna, it might lead to talking about the Yankees.

I admit I get what he's saying about girls that call themselves dorks. Stuff like, "OMG I am soo clumsy, I am such a dork, hehehehe!!!" When she's obviously of the Laguna Beach variety.

Seriously. Any girl that calls herself a dork usually isn't.

[ShadowBoxing]

Just don't bring up baseball and you'll be fine... maybe. And don't bring up Madonna, it might lead to talking about the Yankees.

Okay, so subjects to stay away from...
Religion
Politics
Yankees
Madonna
The year 2004
the Yankees
The year 2007
The year 2003
The years between 1918-2004
Babe Ruth
Probably just avoid calling her "Babe" all together
oh...and definitely no talk about theater...might bring up No No Nanette
Movies could lead to theater.
Better not talk about my sexual fantasies either, because half of them involve blowjobs during Red Sox victories.
...just leave the sex out.
...Okay, but if I can't talk about Baseball, can I think about Baseball, because that's what I think of when I have sex.
...Hmmm, I'll have to think of Football instead.
...Oh, sh**, she's from New Jersey...that means Giants.
...Giants beat the Patriots.
...:csad:

[Gilpesh]

That just leaves the only topic for conversation... Lord of the Rings.

Wow that date is going to be weird.

[ShadowBoxing]

That just leaves the only topic for conversation... Lord of the Rings.

Wow that date is going to be weird.
Is this a bad time to inform everyone I can do a balls on accurate impersonation of Ian McKellen?

[Gilpesh]

Is this a bad time to inform everyone I can do a balls on accurate impersonation of Ian McKellen?

That could work. Especially if her ex is the Balrog and interrupts your date with her.

[Schlosser85]

So my social circle pretty much consisted of my boyfriend's circle of friends, and now that that relationship "fell apart like Jacko's face", to quote a friend, I find myself at a loss as to how to meet people. See, meeting people and making new friends is not something I'm good at. I'm the quiet guy in the back row of the classroom, or the guy at a table by himself on his laptop in the cafeteria. I could probably be called socially inept, or even socially paralyzed. I don't really know how to go about making friends. It always seems like the people who are interested in me, I'm not interested in them, or I'm interested in them but they're not interested in me.

[ShadowBoxing]

That could work. Especially if her ex is the Balrog and interrupts your date with her.
But, but, he shall not pass:csad:

[Gilpesh]

But, but, he shall not pass:csad:

Seriously. I've watched too much of those movies recently...

[ShadowBoxing]

I saw it once. I just have a mind like a steel trap.

[Gilpesh]

I saw it once. I just have a mind like a steel trap.

Nice. But never watch that five hour behind the scenes... you won't like walking around with the knowledge of how they turned a long length of rubber pipe into chain mail for orcs. :csad:

[ShadowBoxing]

Nice. But never watch that five hour behind the scenes... you won't like walking around with the knowledge of how they turned a long length of rubber pipe into chain mail for orcs. :csad:
Usually I don't like finding out about things involving rubber pipes:csad:

[Gilpesh]

Usually I don't like finding out about things involving rubber pipes:csad:

Or buffalo wings.... high fives... scared waitresses... arguments being teared apart.

[ShadowBoxing]

Yankees chick turned me down. Gym chick turned me down. So I ended up banging this crazy redhead this weekend and it was awesome. I was happy until about 11am this morning. Let me explain. My friend Alex had invited both these Clemson girls over to his apartment where we were hanging. I played wingman and went after her hot, redhead, slighty crazy friend, Jennifer. She and I totally ended up making out, and then making out naked, and then f---ing. Great night huh? Nope, because for me I can't have amazing without it being sugarcoated in suck. I don't know the chicks last name, she was hot, but I'm not hot for her...she's all over me though. I got her phone number and didn't give her mine. Now she's apparently called Alex and asked for my address, I've gotten two requests about it today. Not my number, my address. That's f---ing psychotic. How do I basically end this now without negating my friends chances with her friend.

[Erzengel]

How long would it take your friend to "get in" or "vibing him" with this girl? I mean based on experience.

[Erzengel]

So my social circle pretty much consisted of my boyfriend's circle of friends, and now that that relationship "fell apart like Jacko's face", to quote a friend, I find myself at a loss as to how to meet people. See, meeting people and making new friends is not something I'm good at. I'm the quiet guy in the back row of the classroom, or the guy at a table by himself on his laptop in the cafeteria. I could probably be called socially inept, or even socially paralyzed. I don't really know how to go about making friends. It always seems like the people who are interested in me, I'm not interested in them, or I'm interested in them but they're not interested in me.

Are you in school? After school activities? Do you work? Community functions?

[ShadowBoxing]

How long would it take your friend to "get in" or "vibing him" with this girl? I mean based on experience.
I dunno, he may already be vibing with her, but based on experience, he doesn't have much experience. This though is definitely someone he's hit it off with, but he's trying take it slow.

[Gilpesh]

Time machine. Start inventing it.

[ShadowBoxing]

Stop myself from f---ing, nevah!

[Gilpesh]

You completely miss my meaning. You make the time machine, go back in time, and then construct yourself a new identity to use during the party so which the girl never knows your real name.

[Erzengel]

I dunno, he may already be vibing with her, but based on experience, he doesn't have much experience. This though is definitely someone he's hit it off with, but he's trying take it slow.
Ooooh, that's tough then. It depends on how "loyal" you wanna be, if you want to string this girl along for a while and then hit her with the "I'm not in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship right now" line. But I'm sure your friend will understand.

[ShadowBoxing]

Ooooh, that's tough then. It depends on how "loyal" you wanna be, if you want to string this girl along for a while and then hit her with the "I'm not in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship right now" line. But I'm sure your friend will understand.
Basically I have her number, she doesn't have mine, nor does she know my last name, which makes contacting me at least more trouble for her. I've already responded that "I'm in the process of moving [technically true] and I don't feel comfortable giving out my address until I've worked everything out with that" hoping she catches the main point "I'm in the process of moving [technically true] and I don't feel comfortable giving out my address until I've worked everything out with that"

[ShadowBoxing]

The sex was amazing no doubt, and if this had just been some college chick I'd never have to see again, I'd be fine with that. Though, I suppose the Holidays will be a good cover at least. I don't want to indefinitely avoid my guy friends, but I might have to resort to a few 'I'm sick' and 'Oh, I got family stuff to do' excuses.

[CashforStash]

I date a chick, chick dumps me, chick likes me.
I said, No way Hosai.

[ShadowBoxing]

Seriously though, my address (before even knowing my phone number), what's she gonna do, send me a freaking package.

[JLBats]

She's most likely going to show up at your house, and you'll open the door, and she'll just be standing there screaming
for no reason on and on
...and on and on and on and...

[Sarge 2.0]

Seriously though, my address (before even knowing my phone number), what's she gonna do, send me a freaking package.With some sort of body part in it most likely.

[Sarge 2.0]

I admit I get what he's saying about girls that call themselves dorks. Stuff like, "OMG I am soo clumsy, I am such a dork, hehehehe!!!" When she's obviously of the Laguna Beach variety.Yeah, and when a girl classifies being dorky as "random" or "awkward", it's basically just her trying to cover up for the fact that she says really retarded things a lot in conversation.

[ShadowBoxing]

With some sort of body part in it most likely.
Luckily, I've gotten no attempts to call me back since that night, which most likely means this will all blow over.

[Gilpesh]

Luckily, I've gotten no attempts to call me back since that night, which most likely means this will all blow over.

But now that you thought that....


She's going to end up outside your door with a big knife and her friend's head yelling about you not paying attention to her.

[ShadowBoxing]

Nah, it's cool. My friend called me today for relationship advice. Without going into his long and complicated story, it sounds like the chick he hooked up with, her friend, was only interested in sex too...she kind of turned him down when he started asking her out on dates.

[AndThePickles]

I agree that it will blow over, SB. And my advice would be to not play games and just be honest, anyways. If you hear, "she asked for your info again," just flat out say, "no."

[ShadowBoxing]

I agree that it will blow over, SB. And my advice would be to not play games and just be honest, anyways. If you hear, "she asked for your info again," just flat out say, "no."
I feel bad for Alex. I'm glad I was a good wingman for him, but he really wanted something more out of this 'relationship' he had. I didn't so much. Though he should have seen this coming. The way he went about...ahem...courting these chicks...by inviting them out to a night of drinking and bar hopping, the outcome, for both of us, was inevitable. You shouldn't be using alcoholic beverages to start a serious relationship.

[Gilpesh]

You shouldn't be using alcoholic beverages to start a serious relationship.

Or should you.....




No, no you shouldn't.

[Schlosser85]

Are you in school? After school activities? Do you work? Community functions?

1. Yes.

2. I am doing a play in the spring semester, so I hope to get to know some people a little better there.

3. Yes, but I am like the token college boy among a bunch of middle-aged women.

4. No.

[Knightsaber Priss]

You know, I've discovered whenever you're feeling down because of Romantic woes, just listen to this song and it'll make you forget all about not having a significant other.

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/rzx0NIWYxps&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/rzx0NIWYxps&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I haven't figured out why this song makes me laugh.

[Eggyman]

WTF have you just molested my ears with?

[amazingfantasy15]

I feel bad for Alex. I'm glad I was a good wingman for him, but he really wanted something more out of this 'relationship' he had. I didn't so much. Though he should have seen this coming. The way he went about...ahem...courting these chicks...by inviting them out to a night of drinking and bar hopping, the outcome, for both of us, was inevitable. You shouldn't be using alcoholic beverages to start a serious relationship.

Wait did you meet them at a bar or was the "first date" at a bar with her and another friend. You should let your friend know that a first date you just between your and the girl, no friends involved.

[ShadowBoxing]

Wait did you meet them at a bar or was the "first date" at a bar with her and another friend. You should let your friend know that a first date you just between your and the girl, no friends involved.
Alex met the girl up at Clemson and then we went out later on that week and he invited her and her friend to join us.

[amazingfantasy15]

Well, then your friend's a dumbass, what he can't go on dates on his own?

[ShadowBoxing]

Well, then your friend's a dumbass, what he can't go on dates on his own?
Well more likely he was just horny, and then tried to make a booty call into a launchpad for a relationship...which, you're right, is pretty stupid if you thinking about. However, it did get me laid, so I have no problem with this.

[Superman79]

Booty calls are BAD (read as: horrible, horrendous, insane, bat-s**t crazy, highly f**king unlikely) foundations on which to build a relationship...trust me.

[amazingfantasy15]

Well more likely he was just horny, and then tried to make a booty call into a launchpad for a relationship...which, you're right, is pretty stupid if you thinking about. However, it did get me laid, so I have no problem with this.

Why would anyone want to screw up such a great thing as a booty call by making it an actual relationship?

[ShadowBoxing]

Booty calls are BAD (read as: horrible, horrendous, insane, bat-s**t crazy, highly f**king unlikely) foundations on which to build a relationship...trust me.
I agree. My friend though apparent is not so clairvoyant. I wanted sex, I got sex. He wanted a relationship, got sex and apparently when he invited her over the next day she was very off-put by the whole 'watch a movie and then try to ask her out on a date' scenario he had planned.

[ShadowBoxing]

Why would anyone want to screw up such a great thing as a booty call by making it an actual relationship?
I don't know. Ironically I don't really want to talk to my 'date' anymore, he does want to talk to his though. I feel bad for him, but I'm glad I'm not costing him anything by not calling my chick back or nothing.

[amazingfantasy15]

I agree. My friend though apparent is not so clairvoyant. I wanted sex, I got sex. He wanted a relationship, got sex and apparently when he invited her over the next day she was very off-put by the whole 'watch a movie and then try to ask her out on a date' scenario he had planned.

Has this guy ever had a relationship before because he really seems to not understand how to do this. Hook up at a party, hang out with friends, invite her over for a movie, then ask her out on an actual date? She probably more confused than anything.

[ShadowBoxing]

When you put it that way it sounds really f---ing backwards

[Superman79]

Has this guy ever had a relationship before because he really seems to not understand how to do this. Hook up at a party, hang out with friends, invite her over for a movie, then ask her out on an actual date? She probably more confused than anything.

Indeed.

My advice: Slap your friend upside the head SB and tell him to move on. And the next time he wants to establish a relationship, write up a small flow chart on a napkin for him to reference so he doesn't f**k it up again...cause right now, with this chick, there is a 95% he's toast.

[jaguarr]

I agree. My friend though apparent is not so clairvoyant. I wanted sex, I got sex. He wanted a relationship, got sex and apparently when he invited her over the next day she was very off-put by the whole 'watch a movie and then try to ask her out on a date' scenario he had planned.

He should have invited her over, banged her brains out and THEN said "Hey, let's order a pizza" and put a movie on while they ate. And then banged her again. It's important to feed your booty calls so they keep their strength up, but trying to actually date them is ill-advised.

jag

[Superman79]

He should have invited her over, banged her brains out and THEN said "Hey, let's order a pizza" and put a movie on while they ate. And then banged her again. It's important to feed your booty calls so they keep their strength up, but trying to actually date them is ill-advised.

jag

Even better, just hook both of you up to IV's so you don't have to bother waiting for the pizza and taking the time to eat. :o

[amazingfantasy15]

He should have invited her over, banged her brains out and THEN said "Hey, let's order a pizza" and put a movie on while they ate. And then banged her again. It's important to feed your booty calls so they keep their strength up, but trying to actually date them is ill-advised.

jag

Again, that's screwed up the booty call "relationship". There shouldn't be any hanging out, the booty call is strictly for sex, not someone to hang out with. A movie, eating, no, that's not right, you're veering into date terrority at that point.

[amazingfantasy15]

Indeed.

My advice: Slap your friend upside the head SB and tell him to move on. And the next time he wants to establish a relationship, write up a small flow chart on a napkin for him to reference so he doesn't f**k it up again...cause right now, with this chick, there is a 95% he's toast.

Step 1 - Talk to girl
Step 2 - Get girl's phone number
Step 3 - Call girl and set up a date
Step 4 - Go on a few more dates with girl
Step 5 - Start sleeping with girl
(Of course, steps 4 and 5 can be switched, but usually with an actual girlfriend you want to wait a little bit)

[Superman79]

See...its so simple, even a caveman could do it! :up:

:geico:

[jaguarr]

Again, that's screwed up the booty call "relationship". There shouldn't be any hanging out, the booty call is strictly for sex, not someone to hang out with. A movie, eating, no, that's not right, you're veering into date terrority at that point.

I used to play Nintendo 64 with my booty calls. :o

jag

[Superman79]

That's cause you're a gentleman jag.

[terry78]

That's cause you're a gentleman jag.

The rumble pack doubled as a vibrator.

[CashforStash]

Ok, I like a girl and...

How do I get her....:(

[terry78]

Today's comic strip reminded me so much of this thread.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v215/terry78/i081208luann.gif