*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[November Rain]

Ole! What am I supposed to call you now? :huh:
Novembre Pleut, or simply Pleut si vouz voulez

Ole is actually fine Nut. How are you doing these days, it's been a while. You're like the worst facebook replier ever...

[amazingfantasy15]

This isn't a romantic relationship type situation...though it probably could be at some point...rather, this is a question about my relationships in general...

On my facebook, i've apparently been voted "Sweetest Person", but the truth is, that's only because I can't be mean to most of the people I talk to...not even playfully. And to be honest, I...really dont find much stock in being overly kind...so, what i'm asking is, how is it possible to be more...i dunno...jerkish?

So you're putting a bunch of stock into some stupid quiz thing on Facebook? Well then you're already fighting a losing battle, but if you really do want to start being more jerkish and you're too nice now, it's easy enough to change, do the opposite of what you think you should do. Oh yeah, also invest in a bunch of collared shirts, preferably in pastel colors, the more feminine the better, put on two or three and pop those collars, get some hair gel and style your hair in a fauxhawk, you'll be well on your way to projecting that great new douchebag image.

[Bad Supe's Girl]

I agree with November Rain when she said that:

getting married isn't the peak of commitment, it's supposed to be the first real step on it.

I've been married almost 10 years now.. and believe me, there are much more trying things to come than taking the plunge. Marriage isn't just about the first step and it being peachy after that. Marriage is hard work and if you're not able to face that it's just as hard as any other relationship out there, then you're not ready for marriage.

[Erzengel]

You forgot to do that Zoolander kiss pose. :up:

[ShadowBoxing]

Blue Steel and Magnum.

[Daisy]

Novembre Pleut, or simply Pleut si vouz voulez

Ole is actually fine Nut. How are you doing these days, it's been a while. You're like the worst facebook replier ever...

I didn't mean here. :o

I'm doing okay. The last 3 weeks or so have been a little trying, but overall I'm good.

Yes, I am... I truly am. Although... I thought I replied to you and it was your turn. I will have to go check now. :huh:

[DV8]

So you're putting a bunch of stock into some stupid quiz thing on Facebook? Well then you're already fighting a losing battle, but if you really do want to start being more jerkish and you're too nice now, it's easy enough to change, do the opposite of what you think you should do. Oh yeah, also invest in a bunch of collared shirts, preferably in pastel colors, the more feminine the better, put on two or three and pop those collars, get some hair gel and style your hair in a fauxhawk, you'll be well on your way to projecting that great new douchebag image.

Lol! :hehe: :up:

[DV8]

I think this is the problem...hmmm. maybe i'm just overanalyzing. i tend to do that...

yes, I think you are . . . I hear you loud and clear, because that's exactly the way I used to be until I found my true ******* voice and settled there :brucebat:

[Knightsaber Priss]

You know there are far greater testomonies of love than simply marriage. Most people won't even realise this until after they are married or when their relationship hits a rough patch.

As for the surname thing, you'd always be the person with your birth name, giving up your surname is no bigger a deal than giving up your first name.

I've gone through life with three different first names. I changed it for uni at two different stages. It really doesn't make any difference and why should it.

It's probably the times but society always wants people to externally define their love for one another by having outlandish displays of 'affection', yet as soon as a hiccup comes their way, they are on the phones to divorce lawyers

I would much rather have celebrations of overcoming adversity. Still birth, bereavements, infidelity, low level abuse, overcoming addictions, losing sexual attraction, death of a child. These are all the things that rock relationships and make them stronger (if couples can survive them).

These are the trials that show if the love is real and worth fighting for. Yet when these big displays of commitment come into our lives, we hide them away from people.

getting married isn't the peak of commitment, it's supposed to be the first real step on it. It's really been bypassed with the modern day relationship evolution so it holds no 'real' value anymore.

I mean not all societies treat marriage in the same way so the west's views on it purely must come from social conditioning rather than some deep seeded instinct.

Well, like I said I'm not speaking for every woman out there. All i know is how I feel about he institution of marriage and nothing to me says being completely trusting of the man I've fallen in love with than taking his name as my own. I think it's symbolic of this when the father leads the bride to the side of her future husband, that the father is basically giving his daughter to this man to be her protector from then on after he's done his job. Maybe I over romanticize it but I feel very strongly about the deeper, spiritual facet of marriage.

[The Batman]

So you're putting a bunch of stock into some stupid quiz thing on Facebook? Well then you're already fighting a losing battle, but if you really do want to start being more jerkish and you're too nice now, it's easy enough to change, do the opposite of what you think you should do. Oh yeah, also invest in a bunch of collared shirts, preferably in pastel colors, the more feminine the better, put on two or three and pop those collars, get some hair gel and style your hair in a fauxhawk, you'll be well on your way to projecting that great new douchebag image.

I put stock into everything.How people respond to you, gestures, etc...even seemingly meaningless polls on facebook. Is that the end all be all of how people see you? No, of course it's not....but its still something for me to ponder. The rest of your post, while humorous, really dosent apply to my situation....i worded my initial post wrong. I'm not looking to become guido, but I was curious as to go about normal human conversation without potenitally coming off as a pushover...

[DV8]

I put stock into everything.How people respond to you, gestures, etc...even seemingly meaningless polls on facebook. Is that the end all be all of how people see you? No, of course it's not....but its still something for me to ponder. The rest of your post, while humorous, really dosent apply to my situation....i worded my initial post wrong. I'm not looking to become guido, but I was curious as to go about normal human conversation without potenitally coming off as a pushover...

:facepalm:

ok, in your response right there, I laughed; but I laughed at how nice you were . . . I'm not by any means saying don't be yourself, but instead of firing back at AF a little bit, you said:

The rest of your post, while humorous, really dosent apply to my situation....i worded my initial post wrong. I'm not looking to become guido, but I was curious as to go about normal human conversation without potenitally coming off as a pushover...

so right there, you defended your previous actions by saying that you worded your previous post wrong. But you didn't word it wrong. You said exactly what you wanted to say, and because AF fired on you a little bit, you've backtracked your standpoint, making you a pushover automatically.

You could have responded by saying: But I already have 3 pink popped collar polos :huh: or something similar . . .

[The Batman]

:facepalm:

ok, in your response right there, I laughed; but I laughed at how nice you were . . . I'm not by any means saying don't be yourself, but instead of firing back at AF a little bit, you said:

The rest of your post, while humorous, really dosent apply to my situation....i worded my initial post wrong. I'm not looking to become guido, but I was curious as to go about normal human conversation without potenitally coming off as a pushover...

so right there, you defended your previous actions by saying that you worded your previous post wrong. But you didn't word it wrong. You said exactly what you wanted to say, and because AF fired on you a little bit, you've backtracked your standpoint, making you a pushover automatically.

You could have responded by saying: But I already have 3 pink popped collar polos :huh: or something similar . . .


:csad:...I can't believe i walked into that one...

[November Rain]

I didn't mean here. :o


i'm a lil bit lost about your first response and this one.

pm me some insight please

[-JKR-]

Hi... maybe it's somewhat "pathetic" to write about your relationship on a message board, but talking to strangers can be great help sometimes, b/c you pretty much get objective answers, instead of people who think to know what's best for you.

I've been with a girl for two months now, everything was/seemed okay, until Monday, when she told me that her "brain's a mess, that she doesn't know what she wants right now, that maybe it's better if she stays alone for a while, that maybe we shouldn't meet each other anymore". (First thing that came to my mind: These where the excuses I've always used when I dumped a girl "No it's not your fault, it's just that I wanna be alone". She SWORE to me that those were the reason for not prob. not meeting each other anymore, and not because of me... but how much can you trust a gal? ^^)

To set this straight: Yep, I WAS/AM in love with her. I had finally found a person I was happy with, and with whom I'd loved to spend (not the rest of my life, I'm a realist.. c'mon :P), but some more time together. Needless to say, I feel like **** right now, and I don't know what to do. Throwing punches against walls and random objects doesn't seem to help right now. Meeting / having fun with other girls neither.

[AndThePickles]

Don't take this the wrong way, but two months is not long enough to have fallen so deeply "in love" with someone that you can't just start dating again. Two months = you are probably deeply infatuated with this girl, so of course it feels ****** to have her break up with you. It's easy to confuse infatuation with love...people toss that word around waaay too easily. Take that as you will, but you said you wanted an objective response.

Give yourself some time to get over it, and then put yourself back out there. Don't just mope around, go out with friends. There are tons of other girls out there.

[-JKR-]

You know, if I were you, I would've answered the same thing. Seems like the most logical (and sane) thing to do. :)

But that's where I come in and say that love is probably the most illogical, insane and irrational feeling there is.

I've truly never felt as happy, laid back and "satisfied" as in these two months. She really made me feel (a) better (person). Never even really cared about the girls I've met in the past

The fact is, I don't even really know what she feels. I don't know why she broke up, because it's like she completely changed her mind from one day to another. It was pretty much a 360 degree change on her side. You sure imagine with how many doubts I'm left with.

I texted her tonight, and we (just) talked about... stuff, you know. What we did these days, etc., but unfortunately I was too PROUD to tell her how I feel and that's where I'm really going mad. I don't know what the **** to do.

[AndThePickles]

As someone who has been in love for years, I have to disagree. I'm no expert, but I HAVE learned from my own mistakes. Love is only illogical, insane, and irrational if you let it be. You've got to use your head as well as your heart. I've let myself be irrational, and it doesn't work out well at all. It may sound romantic, but it's not very realistic.

Put it this way- you don't want to bother trying to win back someone who doesn't want to be with you. You're the only one who knows her, of course, but usually when someone breaks up with you, it's best to try to move on rather than drag things out. If you can get more clarification from her, that would be helpful. However, if you can't, you may have to start working on just accepting it and distancing yourself from her.

How old are you, if you don't mind my asking? Where did you see this relationship going?

[Dark Phantom]

As someone who has been in love for years, I have to disagree. I'm no expert, but I HAVE learned from my own mistakes. Love is only illogical, insane, and irrational if you let it be. You've got to use your head as well as your heart. I've let myself be irrational, and it doesn't work out well at all. It may sound romantic, but it's not very realistic.

Put it this way- you don't want to bother trying to win back someone who doesn't want to be with you. You're the only one who knows her, of course, but usually when someone breaks up with you, it's best to try to move on rather than drag things out. If you can get more clarification from her, that would be helpful. However, if you can't, you may have to start working on just accepting it and distancing yourself from her.


Truer words have never been written.

Sadly, its only after the fact that you learn about rationality. Lets say i have regrets....

[Superman79]

To set this straight: Yep, I WAS/AM in love with her. I had finally found a person I was happy with, and with whom I'd loved to spend (not the rest of my life, I'm a realist.. c'mon :P), but some more time together. Needless to say, I feel like **** right now, and I don't know what to do.

Pickles is right. You were deeply infatuated. This is simply the same type of chemical reaction in the brain that addicts experience (the same thing is true for actual love...nothing special, just chemicals). Your brain is addicted to the feel good chemicals that it produced while you were around her (especially if there was physical contact...hugging, kissing and sex all increase these chemicals exponentially). In fact, she might not be BS'ing you when she says her brain is messed up...it might really be with that soup of slop floating around in there.

Basically what I'm saying is this will pass (try working out, or doing your favorite hobby to produce more feel good compounds...booze is good too) and if all else fails remember, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else...:up:

[amazingfantasy15]

You know, if I were you, I would've answered the same thing. Seems like the most logical (and sane) thing to do. :)

But that's where I come in and say that love is probably the most illogical, insane and irrational feeling there is.

I've truly never felt as happy, laid back and "satisfied" as in these two months. She really made me feel (a) better (person). Never even really cared about the girls I've met in the past

The fact is, I don't even really know what she feels. I don't know why she broke up, because it's like she completely changed her mind from one day to another. It was pretty much a 360 degree change on her side. You sure imagine with how many doubts I'm left with.

I texted her tonight, and we (just) talked about... stuff, you know. What we did these days, etc., but unfortunately I was too PROUD to tell her how I feel and that's where I'm really going mad. I don't know what the **** to do.

You're the one who wanted an objective opinion JKR and this is what everyone's going to say, you weren't in love, just in deep like. Don't keep trying to win her back or texting her, trying to talk about things, it's not going to help. Best thing to do is start focusing on keeping busy, doing things that will keep your mind off her, exercise, play video games, focus on hobbies, just do whatever you need to do to get and keep her out of your head.

[ShadowBoxing]

So, update on my roommate. Last night I think she started to come around, but Saturday night she was into a full on denial riddled funk about her ex-boyfriend Cody. I had to take her out so she could get good and blitzed at this dive bar she frequented. And yes...she came on to me a ton while she was drunk. Thankfully, I resisted despite every redneck at the bar hooting and hollering because they were convinced I was gonna get me some that night.

She has been extremely hung up on him the last few nights. She e-mailed him I guess Thursday and he e-mailed her back. I can't say what was said exactly, mostly he said (according to her) that he didn't mean to imply he didn't want her as a friend and also she apologized for calling him some nasty things she won't repeat in good company. She's still tells me though, with all her heart, that he "just doesn't know how to express his feelings". I was pretty blunt with her over the weekend about it, saying I felt that "when someone says that '[another person] doesn't know how to express their feelings' it's usually because that person is not expressing the feelings [she] want[ed] expressed". I hadn't gotten to the point of saying "look, he's just not that into you", but I kind of doubt I'll have to now...she's been out on a couple of dates since then and I heard the last one went pretty well.

It is interesting to me living with a girl I'm not f---ing, considering this is the first girl I've actually lived with. I do feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her though. She falls for guys easily, and her outlook is downright delusional sometimes. I feel sorry for her a little bit. I've explained to her I feel guys are rather straightforward and easy to understand, and of course she shoots down that logic like it's some sort of blasphemy.

For example, the feelings thing. She is convinced that all guys are taught not to express their feelings, or are essentially damaged emotionally and that somehow we lie about how we feel or simply don't vocalize those feelings at all. Me, I'm quite blunt, and if I don't tell someone my feelings it's because those feelings don't exist. My dog, every time I see him, is showered with affection and attention and is told constantly that he is loved and special. My co-worker David is stupid and I'm not afraid to let him know he's stupid. Of course in her mind my I'm probably jealous of my co-worker David, and simply lying to myself about how much my dog means to me.

This does irk me a little, because she is so unbelievably bad at reading signals, luckily she doesn't seem to be too aggressive about it. The other things I have a huge problem with is her constantly being referred to as "my girlfriend" by people who meet us, that's why I try to get out in a big group when I hang out with her. Having a girl as a roommate definitely has it's pluses and minuses.

[Superman79]

She's still tells me though, with all her heart, that he "just doesn't know how to express his feelings". I was pretty blunt with her over the weekend about it, saying I felt that "when someone says that '[another person] doesn't know how to express their feelings' it's usually because that person is not expressing the feelings [she] want[ed] expressed".

her outlook is downright delusional sometimes. I feel sorry for her a little bit. I've explained to her I feel guys are rather straightforward and easy to understand, and of course she shoots down that logic like it's some sort of blasphemy.

This does irk me a little, because she is so unbelievably bad at reading signals, luckily she doesn't seem to be too aggressive about it. The other things

You're living with GR 87's sister?? :huh:

[ShadowBoxing]

You're living with GR 87's sister?? :huh:
Maybe so. Although I think she is, or will be soon over, Cody, she is convinced (or was Friday night) that Cody did really like her and they would be reunited "after her had realized all the other girls in his life wouldn't treat him as well as [she] did". So yes, that does sound like Female GR87, doesn't it :huh::csad:

:oldrazz:

[Superman79]

Maybe so. Although I think she is, or will be soon over, Cody, she is convinced (or was Friday night) that Cody did really like her and they would be reunited "after her had realized all the other girls in his life wouldn't treat him as well as [she] did". So yes, that does sound like Female GR87, doesn't it :huh::csad:

:oldrazz:


Ew. :csad:

[November Rain]

it's your duty to save her from herself.

as blunt as you say you are, you are still sugarcoating her ignorance.

as for the girlfriend thing, it's normally obvious when a mixed couple go out and they are together or not. maybe there is some chemistry there but i wouldn't worry too much about what other people think of it all in honesty.

the whole thing about men being emotive can't be generalised either way by yourself or your female friends. Some people bottle things, others openly express them. Saying men are either one or the other is naiive

[ShadowBoxing]

Ew. :csad:
Sometimes when she speaks I get this image in my head.
http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/3742/26423277.png (http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/3742/26423277.png)
it's your duty to save her from herself.

as blunt as you say you are, you are still sugarcoating her ignorance.

Expound on this please...

[November Rain]

I hadn't gotten to the point of saying "look, he's just not that into you", but I kind of doubt I'll have to now...

I do feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her though.

your words

[ShadowBoxing]

your words
Oh, but I did say that I felt like she was imagining feelings that were not there.

[November Rain]

all the more reason to put her straight, or at least straighter

[ShadowBoxing]

all the more reason to put her straight, or at least straighter
So if it comes up again just say "look, he's not that into you".

[-JKR-]

You're the one who wanted an objective opinion JKR and this is what everyone's going to say, you weren't in love, just in deep like. Don't keep trying to win her back or texting her, trying to talk about things, it's not going to help. Best thing to do is start focusing on keeping busy, doing things that will keep your mind off her, exercise, play video games, focus on hobbies, just do whatever you need to do to get and keep her out of your head.

It's not like I'm trying to get her back 24 hours a day. My life goes on as normal, and if it wasn't for the fact that I've got fever since thursday I would go out and try to have fun. You know.. I do **** like normal. It's just that, you know, it simply hurts...:hehe:

[November Rain]

So if it comes up again just say "look, he's not that into you".
pretty much

[Knightsaber Priss]

Jeez...how to start this out....for awhile I've had an ex of sorts who has been interested in dating me again, and though I've tried to put the past behind me, it's just much too difficult because all that baggage between us is like the weight of the world on my shoulders. This was especially evident on Tuesday night when he came to visit me at work. I cannot explain it but I was fine until then. This has to be said but no matter what I do it would never work because there's just way too much negativity that no amount of time can eliminate. And on top of that a certain incident has been locked away in my subconscious, which is not a very nice region of my brain. It really scares me when the subconscious starts inducing actions. I am very mean and very nasty, which just isn't who I am. After brooding about this for awhile in hindsight I do admit while consciously I was trying to see if I could make things work, my dark subconscious was plotting revenge, wanting to make that ex of mine experience just a taste of what things had been like for me over the past 13 years. Looking back on it all over the past year whatever is locked away in my subconscious mind is the source of all the negativity. I think it was also a knee jerk reaction from my subconscious to lash out at even the people who were trying to help me as well. I guess I have to be blunt about this to save further heart ache, and to keep my subconscious at bay, but I don't think it's healthy for myself and that ex to get back together and to even be in the same proximity, because my mood changes drastically. I guess the only remedy for this situation is for him to just leave me and forget I ever existed. And I need to search for someone else who I don't have this level of emotional baggage.

[November Rain]

Godzilla and Ahura are both stuck on a time warping island...

everytime they post on this thread, they keep rehashing old ground.



it's groundhog day....again....

[Knightsaber Priss]

Godzilla and Ahura are both stuck on a time warping island...

everytime they post on this thread, they keep rehashing old ground.



it's groundhog day....again....

Well, no. All I'm saying is that I'm breaking up with my ex for good this time. Didn't you read that he came in this past Tuesday at work? That's not quite something that's a rehash is it? All I'm asking is for you, November Rain, to just be a little more compassionate than usual because this past year has taken a huge toll on me physically and mentally, though I might not always have shown it to people.

All told, I just need to be alone for awhile devoid of any romantic prospects. It's just way too early to be thrust back into the fire.

[Eggyman]

Zilla!

I can understand Rain's point, even with new bits added to the story, it's still really the same.

Now I'm not saying this to be funny or antagonistic, but I'd recommend that you go out and get some c*ck in your diet. Seriously. I think you think too much, and I think that you need to kick your subconscious in the arse. Go out, get a man to plough your field, and then come back in say... seven to ten days and let us know how you're feeling.

[AndThePickles]

Now I'm not saying this to be funny or antagonistic, but I'd recommend that you go out and get some c*ck in your diet. Seriously. I think you think too much, and I think that you need to kick your subconscious in the arse. Go out, get a man to plough your field, and then come back in say... seven to ten days and let us know how you're feeling.

I COMPLETELY agree!!!

[amazingfantasy15]

I agree with Eggyman and AndThePickles, you think WAY too much about everything bad that might happen and because of that you can't just have fun. Try to find some guy to have a no strings attached role in the hay with and tell him to GTFO once it's over. Maybe screwing someone else, then screwing them over is just what the doctor ordered. You're always talking about how mature you are, but whenever you post a problem it sounds like it's coming from a high school or college kid.

[November Rain]

Well, no. All I'm saying is that I'm breaking up with my ex for good this time. Didn't you read that he came in this past Tuesday at work? That's not quite something that's a rehash is it? All I'm asking is for you, November Rain, to just be a little more compassionate than usual because this past year has taken a huge toll on me physically and mentally, though I might not always have shown it to people.

All told, I just need to be alone for awhile devoid of any romantic prospects. It's just way too early to be thrust back into the fire.
compassion is probably what's made you drag this whole thing out.

you need quick decisive positive action and to stop looking over one's shoulder.

all the time you are using dealing and rationalising it all is time wasted not moving forward.

the tidbits of info may be new but it's the same message.

now i don't know all the details but even if i did, i doubt my opinions would change because when you think about it all on a universal scale, it's all pretty irrelevant. It's also not as if someone before you hasn't overcome it so why can't you.

[DV8]

godzilla and ahura are both stuck on a time warping island...

Everytime they post on this thread, they keep rehashing old ground.



It's groundhog day....again....

lol

[DV8]

Well, no. All I'm saying is that I'm breaking up with my ex for good this time. Didn't you read that he came in this past Tuesday at work? That's not quite something that's a rehash is it? All I'm asking is for you, November Rain, to just be a little more compassionate than usual because this past year has taken a huge toll on me physically and mentally, though I might not always have shown it to people.

All told, I just need to be alone for awhile devoid of any romantic prospects. It's just way too early to be thrust back into the fire.

with the same person again, anyway . . .

[DV8]

Zilla!

I can understand Rain's point, even with new bits added to the story, it's still really the same.

Now I'm not saying this to be funny or antagonistic, but I'd recommend that you go out and get some c*ck in your diet. Seriously. I think you think too much, and I think that you need to kick your subconscious in the arse. Go out, get a man to plough your field, and then come back in say... seven to ten days and let us know how you're feeling.

:up: :up: :up:

I think Eggyman is trying to tell you something else too, Zilla :o

[Erzengel]

I was just talking to the better half about how certain people really need to get laid to take the edge off of them as we were referring to someone they worked with who was always in a sour mood but I think all of us have known someone who just really needs a little something something to improve their mood.

[DV8]

I was just talking to the better half about how certain people really need to get laid to take the edge off of them as we were referring to someone they worked with who was always in a sour mood but I think all of us have known someone who just really needs a little something something to improve their mood.

a dick is a powerful weapon if yielded properly :o

[Erzengel]

Should be used for knowledge and defense, never for attack.

[DV8]

^This is why you rock the Yoda avvy . . . :up:

[Doctor Jones]

Can somebody please tell me when a girl is into you? It's so damn impossible to figure out if they are or not? Do they do anything?

I'm lost.

[DV8]

Can somebody please tell me when a girl is into you? It's so damn impossible to figure out if they are or not? Do they do anything?

I'm lost.

there are a lot of signs . . . do you have some specific examples you'd like to run by us?

[Gilpesh]

The only way to really know.... is the Da SuBe Code.

[Anubis]

I've always found the drop-your-pants-in-front-of-her trick to be quite helpful.

[Doctor Jones]

there are a lot of signs . . . do you have some specific examples you'd like to run by us?

Well, with one, I don't know keep in mind, that there's this hot chick in my english class who usually is near me whenever we do some sort of standing activity.

For example, last month, we were all waiting by the door for the bell to ring, I sat on a desk waiting and she sat right next to me, pretty much touching my side. Then a couple weeks ago, we were doing a paper magazine thingy and the teacher put magazines out in two different points of the room. She sits on the side the teacher put the second set of magazines, I sit where the teach put the first. She came over to my side and got them when I was looking for them as well.

And when she walks into the room she walks by my desk while she could just walk in the front of the room and go around instead she just walks where I am goes to her side. Maybe, maybe, I think I see her taking a glance at me.

I told my friend about this, as usual, he doesn't think so, (thinks it could be too good to be true for me) but maybe it's not.

But sometimes it's just vibes. I don't know if she's just checking you out, because I've seen other girls do this with me as well. Or at least I think they do.

[Anubis]

Do you like her?

[DV8]

Well, with one, I don't know keep in mind, that there's this hot chick in my english class who usually is near me whenever we do some sort of standing activity.

For example, last month, we were all waiting by the door for the bell to ring, I sat on a desk waiting and she sat right next to me, pretty much touching my side. Then a couple weeks ago, we were doing a paper magazine thingy and the teacher put magazines out in two different points of the room. She sits on the side the teacher put the second set of magazines, I sit where the teach put the first. She came over to my side and got them when I was looking for them as well.

And when she walks into the room she walks by my desk while she could just walk in the front of the room and go around instead she just walks where I am goes to her side. Maybe, maybe, I think I see her taking a glance at me.

I told my friend about this, as usual, he doesn't think so, (thinks it could be too good to be true for me) but maybe it's not.

But sometimes it's just vibes. I don't know if she's just checking you out, because I've seen other girls do this with me as well. Or at least I think they do.

Trust your instinct dude . . . nature gave you that for a reason; don't overthink it too much . . . do you ever talk to her?

[Anubis]

That's what i'm sayin. next time she conveniently stands next to you, say hey. What's up? I can fart the national anthem. Or something like that.

[DV8]

That's what i'm sayin. next time she conveniently stands next to you, say hey. What's up? I can fart the national anthem. Or something like that.

works every time :up:

[DV8]

Well, with one, I don't know keep in mind, that there's this hot chick in my english class who usually is near me whenever we do some sort of standing activity.

For example, last month, we were all waiting by the door for the bell to ring, I sat on a desk waiting and she sat right next to me, pretty much touching my side. Then a couple weeks ago, we were doing a paper magazine thingy and the teacher put magazines out in two different points of the room. She sits on the side the teacher put the second set of magazines, I sit where the teach put the first. She came over to my side and got them when I was looking for them as well.

And when she walks into the room she walks by my desk while she could just walk in the front of the room and go around instead she just walks where I am goes to her side. Maybe, maybe, I think I see her taking a glance at me.

I told my friend about this, as usual, he doesn't think so, (thinks it could be too good to be true for me) but maybe it's not.

But sometimes it's just vibes. I don't know if she's just checking you out, because I've seen other girls do this with me as well. Or at least I think they do.

Also, don't ever listen to a friend that tells you "it's too good to be true"; even your best friend will intentionally or unintentionally hold you back because they want the same thing (and can't get it)

let me tell you this, NObody is ever out of your league . . . there is no league; there are only girls that you aren't compatible with . . .

[Anubis]

That's very true. Ugly guys manage to get hot girls all the time. And get this, they don't always have to pay them. :up:

[DV8]

That's very true. Ugly guys manage to get hot girls all the time. And get this, they don't always have to pay them. :up:

we . . . I mean, they don't?? :huh:

[Anubis]

Well, it's what i've heard. Could all be lies. :o

If I were yo...I mean THEM, i'd make sure to bring a fifty with me when i go out. Just in case.

[DV8]

Well, it's what i've heard. Could all be lies. :o

If I were yo...I mean THEM, i'd make sure to bring a fifty with me when i go out. Just in case.

but I only have $10 :csad:

[Anubis]

Well....you could always sell blood and sperm.

[DV8]

mixed together?

[Anubis]

Only way to make a profit.

[Ahura Mazda]

Well, with one, I don't know keep in mind, that there's this hot chick in my english class who usually is near me whenever we do some sort of standing activity.

For example, last month, we were all waiting by the door for the bell to ring, I sat on a desk waiting and she sat right next to me, pretty much touching my side. Then a couple weeks ago, we were doing a paper magazine thingy and the teacher put magazines out in two different points of the room. She sits on the side the teacher put the second set of magazines, I sit where the teach put the first. She came over to my side and got them when I was looking for them as well.

And when she walks into the room she walks by my desk while she could just walk in the front of the room and go around instead she just walks where I am goes to her side. Maybe, maybe, I think I see her taking a glance at me.

I told my friend about this, as usual, he doesn't think so, (thinks it could be too good to be true for me) but maybe it's not.

But sometimes it's just vibes. I don't know if she's just checking you out, because I've seen other girls do this with me as well. Or at least I think they do.


Say Hello and start a conversation. You will only know once you try.

[Daisy]

Well, with one, I don't know keep in mind, that there's this hot chick in my english class who usually is near me whenever we do some sort of standing activity.

For example, last month, we were all waiting by the door for the bell to ring, I sat on a desk waiting and she sat right next to me, pretty much touching my side. Then a couple weeks ago, we were doing a paper magazine thingy and the teacher put magazines out in two different points of the room. She sits on the side the teacher put the second set of magazines, I sit where the teach put the first. She came over to my side and got them when I was looking for them as well.


And when she walks into the room she walks by my desk while she could just walk in the front of the room and go around instead she just walks where I am goes to her side. Maybe, maybe, I think I see her taking a glance at me.

I told my friend about this, as usual, he doesn't think so, (thinks it could be too good to be true for me) but maybe it's not.

But sometimes it's just vibes. I don't know if she's just checking you out, because I've seen other girls do this with me as well. Or at least I think they do.

You're reading too much into it because you want her to her to be wanting you. If she was really interested, you'd know. I find most guys who think it's "hard" to read whether or not a girl is into them are talking about girls who really aren't, but the guy wants them to be.

Also, this isn't just a guy thing. Girls do the exact same thing.

That said, just because she's not longing for you doesn't mean she won't ever. Like everyone else said, just talk to her. :up:

[Erzengel]

Also 2 eye blinks mean yes even when her mouth says no.

[Superman79]

Can somebody please tell me when a girl is into you? It's so damn impossible to figure out if they are or not? Do they do anything?

I'm lost.

You should ask GR87...he's all about analyzing a girl's signals. :up:

[Ahura Mazda]

Those posts were quite funny... I miss them

[ShadowBoxing]

You should ask GR87...he's all about analyzing a girl's signals. :up:
Like if there's a waitress, and she comes to his table, it totally means it's on and you're in like flint.

[Ahura Mazda]

I thought she had to give him a high five for that....

[Erzengel]

Unfortunately, all GR87 has been asking on yahoo answers are stuff about comic books/movies. :(

I think my last advice for him "broke'd" him. :csad:

[November Rain]

they should rename this place the 'non-plausible deniability' thread.

everyone in it is in gaga land, myself included....

[ShadowBoxing]

Unfortunately, all GR87 has been asking on yahoo answers are stuff about comic books/movies. :(

I think my last advice for him broke him. :csad:
What was your last piece of advice (please post), I forgot.

[Superman79]

yes, we have all forgot...

[Erzengel]

Have you ever been fooled by a passive aggressive person that wasn't interested in dating you?

I have. She acted polite in front of me, we got along, and even accepted my phone number so she could call me to go to a Haunted House with her. It's not until Halloween that she sends a guy to talk for her that she's not interested, and leave her alone. I would have been fine if she told me up front that she's not interested.
However I will say I don't like being mislead into thinking a girl is interested in me by her failing to be frank saying no up front which she did, wasting her time and mine, and having some guy speak for her that she isn't interested when she is fully capable of doing that herself. All these happened because she didn't say no up front. Passive aggressive does not make a problem not go away, and it fact makes a problem larger. This attests to that.

I'm just guessing here but it sounds like you met someone who's like a waitress, bartender or dancer?

The thing is they are nice to EVERYONE and if you think you are getting some sort of special treatment, I hate to tell you this, you're not.

They are like this to everyone. They get numbers everyday and they have to smile and be polite because that's how they get their tips and extra cash.

My advice to you, is to probably look elsewhere instead of this place to meet women. Because, they only care about your money. Meet a nice girl at church, school or your own job not one of these places.

You read me like a book. Thanks for the reccomendation.
...

[ShadowBoxing]

I have. She acted polite in front of me, we got along, and even accepted my phone number so she could call me to go to a Haunted House with her. It's not until Halloween that she sends a guy to talk for her that she's not interested, and leave her alone. I would have been fine if she told me up front that she's not interested.


Hahahahaha...she sent a guy to tell him to back off. Why didn't he use his amazing Kung-Fu skills?

[Superman79]

HAHAHA!!

Oh yeah, that answer. It reminds me of the bit from 'Forgetting Sarah Marshal'

"She's in customer service, she's supposed to do that. I suppose you think strippers like you to!"

Poor GR87, if he went to a strip club his head might explode.
Oh. My. Gosh. I just had an epiphany...:eek:

[ShadowBoxing]

I've always wanted to convince GR87 to go to a strip club.

[Superman79]

I can one up that. How about a brothel???

[Erzengel]

I'm waiting for the inevitable time he asks that question again. This is like the 2nd time I think he asked this. He asked the one about why he didn't think asking someone out meant would you be my gf at least times as well.

[Hush]

SO my gf of 2 years, MissHush, on the boards here. Has decided that we are going on a BREAK for 1 month and a half. She is afraid that we havent dated enough people and doesnt want to waste our youth and such. I just was curious how do i get past this I mean in all seriousness everything i look at reminds me of her. How do I go on this month and a bit more break with not going nuts.

[ShadowBoxing]

SO my gf of 2 years, MissHush, on the boards here. Has decided that we are going on a BREAK for 1 month and a half. She is afraid that we havent dated enough people and doesnt want to waste our youth and such. I just was curious how do i get past this I mean in all seriousness everything i look at reminds me of her. How do I go on this month and a bit more break with not going nuts.
It's over, I'm sorry.

[Superman79]

SO my gf of 2 years, MissHush, on the boards here. Has decided that we are going on a BREAK for 1 month and a half. She is afraid that we havent dated enough people and doesnt want to waste our youth and such. I just was curious how do i get past this I mean in all seriousness everything i look at reminds me of her. How do I go on this month and a bit more break with not going nuts.

Do what she's doing. Find a gal to spend some time with and see how it feels.

[Erzengel]

Well there are several sides to that argument.

One is the "grass is greener" on the other side. She feels like she's missing out on things whether you are her first or she's dated only a few people in her whole life. The one thing she has to realize in the end is, is it worth it? Does she have to date 5 to 6 guys who literally and possibly figuratively f' her over? I've always felt it wasn't worth it, if you have something special or great, why risk that in order to create more notches on your bed post. I know others would disagree but that's how I feel.

My questions for you is first, how old are you? And secondly, why would you even want this person back after she's been "tainted"?

It'd be different if it was some mutual thing, I would more understand that. But this seems one sided, to me. I would even suggest you just put yourself out there. I would out of spite for the most part.

[ShadowBoxing]

Call it being overly suspicious, but any girl who tells you she wants to "take a break" already has someone in mind with whom she wants to take the "break" with.

[Superman79]

Sad but true.

"I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you..." :(

[Erzengel]

Call it being overly suspicious, but any girl who tells you she wants to "take a break" already has someone in mind with whom she wants to take the "break" with.
I knew a girl who lost her virginity to her boyfriend at the time during high school. When she was off to college, she decided to break it off, because she didn't want to be tied down during college. I know that also works with guys also but, there wasn't a specific guy per se. She just wanted to be free to have the opportunity to do so.

[ShadowBoxing]

If you let this girl do this to you, she'll walk all over you for the rest of your adult life. I'd say if you want to prove to her that you're a man tell her you don't want a relationship with "breaks".

[ShadowBoxing]

I knew a girl who lost her virginity to her boyfriend at the time during high school. When she was off to college, she decided to break it off, because she didn't want to be tied down during college. I know that also works with guys also but, there wasn't a specific guy per se. She just wanted to be free to have the opportunity to do so.
Yeah, but in Hush's case he isn't giving some specific reason for the "break" like distance or moving onto a new stage in life, just that she wants to date other people before she gets old. That's bad ju-ju right there.

[terry78]

Flat out say, if this is a break, it's gonna be permanent. You have to have some leverage in these things. If she truly plans on staying for the long term, she'll object. None of that month and a half stuff.

[Erzengel]

Which is why I asked the "age" question. Wasn't sure if they were both freshmen in college etc and she realized that dating your high school sweetheart is dampering her social life.

[ShadowBoxing]

Flat out say, if this is a break, it's gonna be permanent. You have to have some leverage in these things. If she truly plans on staying for the long term, she'll object. None of that month and a half stuff.

"Oh, honey, you need to take a weekend off to bang that boy who looks like Derek Jeter...sure, fine with me".

[Superman79]

Yeah, but in Hush's case he isn't giving some specific reason for the "break" like distance or moving onto a new stage in life, just that she wants to date other people before she gets old. That's bad ju-ju right there.


Amen. If you're not good enough for her, at least so she's saying she wants to "do some shopping" then she isn't worth keeping around.

[ShadowBoxing]

Amen. If you're not good enough for her, at least so she's saying she wants to "do some shopping" then she isn't worth keeping around.
She's probably been window shopping the whole time anyways.

[Eggyman]

I'd tell her to do one, for good. None of that sh**, thanks.

[ShadowBoxing]

When you order off the menu you don't get to go up occasionally and check out the buffet

[Eggyman]

Unless you're a greedy bastard with bad manners.

[Superman79]

Wait, are we talking about women or lunch...cause this is starting to make me hungry.

[Daisy]

When you order off the menu you don't get to go up occasionally and check out the buffet

Sure you do. :huh:

And then you have your friend who got the buffet to bring you what you want from it.

[ShadowBoxing]

Wait, are we talking about women or lunch...cause this is starting to make me hungry.
You can eat wo...err, nevermind.

[ShadowBoxing]

Sure you do. :huh:

And then you have your friend who got the buffet to bring you what you want from it.
Are we still talking relationship metaphors, or actual food :huh: Now I'm just confused and hungry like Superman79.

[Superman79]

I think what we are all getting at in different ways is that if MissHush was truly happy, she wouldn't need to go browsing for "the next best thing". :(

[ShadowBoxing]

I think what we are all getting at in different ways is that if MissHush was truly happy, she wouldn't need to go browsing for "the next best thing". :(
Exactly.

[Anubis]

But if you're feeling hurt, sleep with one of her friends.

[Superman79]

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. :up:

[ShadowBoxing]

But if you're feeling hurt, sleep with one of her friends.
Or sister, or mom...you could lord that mom thing over her head forever.

[Erzengel]

Or to bury them in a wooded area. :)

[ShadowBoxing]

Or to bury them in a wooded area. :)
Harbors work better.

[Superman79]

We're gonna need more cement. :o

[Doctor Jones]

Trust your instinct dude . . . nature gave you that for a reason; don't overthink it too much . . . do you ever talk to her?

To anwaser your's and Anubis's question:

1. I don't have a crush on her, though she is very good looking. I actually did have a crush on her in the 8th grade, but then gave up.
2. Not really. I worked in a group with her once but we never really talked. I'll take your advice though.

I get so intimiidated while talking to hot girls. I get red in the face and ears and I get really hot.

I try to act calm, but when she looks right at you, too much is going through my head, I get nervous.

[Anubis]

To anwaser your's and Anubis's question:

1. I don't have a crush on her, though she is very good looking. I actually did have a crush on her in the 8th grade, but then gave up.
2. Not really. I worked in a group with her once but we never really talked. I'll take your advice though.

I get so intimiidated while talking to hot girls. I get red in the face and ears and I get really hot.

I try to act calm, but when she looks right at you, too much is going through my head, I get nervous.


I used to be the same way. Just remember that, just because she's pretty, doesn't mean she's not f**ked up too. In fact, she might be far more f**ked up than you could possibly imagine, and therefore approachable because, hey, you're better than her. Technically you're doing her a favor by lowering yourself to talk to her crazy ass. In fact, screw her, theres better chicks to talk to. :o

[amazingfantasy15]

Wait, are we talking about women or lunch...cause this is starting to make me hungry.

Are we still talking relationship metaphors, or actual food :huh: Now I'm just confused and hungry like Superman79.

I think you two need to get some fish taco's.

To anwaser your's and Anubis's question:

1. I don't have a crush on her, though she is very good looking. I actually did have a crush on her in the 8th grade, but then gave up.
2. Not really. I worked in a group with her once but we never really talked. I'll take your advice though.

I get so intimiidated while talking to hot girls. I get red in the face and ears and I get really hot.

I try to act calm, but when she looks right at you, too much is going through my head, I get nervous.

If you've never actually talked to her outside of a group project there's nothing going on. That's not to say that that will always be the case, you could try to start talking to her and find out for sure. Of course, you'll be nervous, but those nerves will never go away until you start talking to those hot girls, practice with her, things might go awesome or horribly, but you'll never know if you don't try. Remember the words of Sean Connery "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f**k the prom queen"

[Superman79]

Remember the words of Sean Connery "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f**k the prom queen"

QFT. :o

[Doctor Jones]

Thanks for the advice. Funnily enough, I just watched The Rock yesterday.

But what if I try to talk to her and she's with a friend or group of them? I'm kinda self conscious about what other people are thinking. I know it's wrong, I've been told a million times.

[Erzengel]

I know you are young but in the end, why the f' do you care what they think? What they think shouldn't be a pimple on the ass of a gnat in your world.

[amazingfantasy15]

Thanks for the advice. Funnily enough, I just watched The Rock yesterday.

But what if I try to talk to her and she's with a friend or group of them? I'm kinda self conscious about what other people are thinking. I know it's wrong, I've been told a million times.

Well, with one, I don't know keep in mind, that there's this hot chick in my english class who usually is near me whenever we do some sort of standing activity.

For example, last month, we were all waiting by the door for the bell to ring, I sat on a desk waiting and she sat right next to me, pretty much touching my side. Then a couple weeks ago, we were doing a paper magazine thingy and the teacher put magazines out in two different points of the room. She sits on the side the teacher put the second set of magazines, I sit where the teach put the first. She came over to my side and got them when I was looking for them as well.

These were both two good opportunities to talk to her. Just small talk about class or the project you're working on, you're not hitting on her, you're just building a rapport, getting to know her a little.

[Anubis]

Yeah, keep it simple. You're not asking her out on a date or anything.

[Superman79]

Yeah, what those guys said. But most importantly, Erz hit it on the head.

Talk to her, get to know her, hell, ask her out. Do whatever. But do SOMETHING. Otherwise you're just gonna kick yourself and wonder what could have happened if you'd sacked up and talked to her.

She likes you? great, now you've got a new friend/love interest.

She couldn't care less about you? great too, cause you're no worse off than you were before.

Either way, sack up and talk to her. Build a rapport. Then go in for the kill. :up:

[Doctor Jones]

Thanks, I think I'll talk to her, but I don't think I want to ask her out. I'm not that interested in her.

Maybe though. She is frakking hot. Though before I ask any girl out, I need to get a job and well, I have my permit.

Have to make up for not playing sports. Because a girl likes a guy with initiative right? She is one of the popular girls mind you.

I don't know, there's a couple other girls I'd like to try your advice out on as well. One is in my other class, the other I see in the halls or at my locker who I think may be interested in me.

[November Rain]

Don't talk to her, i can already tell you've idolised her because your arm brushed with her one time.

it's never going to work, you've pedestalled her...

save yourself some heartache and try not to read into coincidences in the future.

ps, she already seems like the type of person who would talk to you if she had any interest, so take that as your cue card to move on.

[Daisy]

I'm really glad I didn't follow the career path of HS Guidance Counselor I had originally planned. :o

[November Rain]

it'd be easy, just have one of these ink stamps with 'get over it' and smack it on everyone's file.

[Superman79]

Thanks, I think I'll talk to her, but I don't think I want to ask her out. I'm not that interested in her.

Maybe though. She is frakking hot. Though before I ask any girl out, I need to get a job and well, I have my permit.

Have to make up for not playing sports. Because a girl likes a guy with initiative right? She is one of the popular girls mind you.

I don't know, there's a couple other girls I'd like to try your advice out on as well. One is in my other class, the other I see in the halls or at my locker who I think may be interested in me.

Don't think about it so much. Just talk with them. Don't go into it thinking "I'm gonna try and get a date!" Just go into it trying to make a new friend...total disinterest outside of just having a chat. Don't don't don't go into it LOOKING for interest. Just talk dude, be yourself. If a girl is in to you outside of chatting and friendship, she'll make it known.

Don't talk to her, i can already tell you've idolised her because your arm brushed with her one time.

it's never going to work, you've pedestalled her...


I say talk to her anyway (DO NOT ASK HER OUT) just talk. It can't hurt. If nothing else you learn from the experience (good or bad). You're in high school right? Any experience is good experience (so long as it isn't throwing away 18 good months of your college career on a soul sucking she-b!+ch).

Though NR makes one fantastic point...much like on the 40 Year Old Virgin...DO NOT put the p*$$y on a pedestal! The moment you start looking at any girl like a goddess, or as your perfect woman then you are putting her in a position of power over you that she (and really no woman) deserves. That is a bad way to start. Just for future information. :o

[Erzengel]

Last resort, whip it out and ask her "What are we going to do about this?"

[November Rain]

if he starts talking to her, he'll develop a 30 year love affair for his 'dream' girl.

you can't be friends with someone you've pedestalled but it's even worse when you don't know you are doing it.

once the reality of what he's doing sets in, he's free to roam where ever he please as he'll know the consequences of his actions, until then he's just gonna be in free falling pain...

[Superman79]

Last resort, whip it out and ask her "What are we going to do about this?"

30% of the time, it works everytime. :up:


if he starts talking to her, he'll develop a 30 year love affair for his 'dream' girl.

you can't be friends with someone you've pedestalled but it's even worse when you don't know you are doing it.

once the reality of what he's doing sets in, he's free to roam where ever he please as he'll know the consequences of his actions, until then he's just gonna be in free falling pain...

Meh, I don't think it'll be that bad. Besides, its a right of passage for high school guys, to fail to hit it off with that one awesome girl...then you come back for the 10/15/20 year reunion and see she's ballooned to 300lbs, and you are lucky you dodged that bullet. :woot:

As for the pedestal, I don't think he;s gone that far...the kid is no GR87...

[amazingfantasy15]

Last resort, whip it out and ask her "What are we going to do about this?"

Buy a Swedish made penis enlarger.

[AndThePickles]

30% of the time, it works everytime. :up:



Are you purposely mutilating that Anchorman quote?

[DV8]

To anwaser your's and Anubis's question:

1. I don't have a crush on her, though she is very good looking. I actually did have a crush on her in the 8th grade, but then gave up.
2. Not really. I worked in a group with her once but we never really talked. I'll take your advice though.

I get so intimiidated while talking to hot girls. I get red in the face and ears and I get really hot.

I try to act calm, but when she looks right at you, too much is going through my head, I get nervous.

There's a cure for you, Doctor Jones . . . start talking to all kinds of hot girls . . . I totally know where you're coming from, and trust me it gets easier the more you do it . . . as soon as you realize hot chicks are just regular people too, you'll be in good shape :up:

and when I say 'talk' to them, don't put all kinds of pressure on yourself to try and date all of them; just small talk; it helps even more if you're funny :hehe:

[Superman79]

Are you purposely mutilating that Anchorman quote?

Yes. I was adjusting for the economy :o

[DV8]

Don't talk to her, i can already tell you've idolised her because your arm brushed with her one time.

it's never going to work, you've pedestalled her...

save yourself some heartache and try not to read into coincidences in the future.

ps, she already seems like the type of person who would talk to you if she had any interest, so take that as your cue card to move on.

I don't think he pedestalled her, he just said he's not that interested in her, and that she's only hot . . . :huh:

[DV8]

SO my gf of 2 years, MissHush, on the boards here. Has decided that we are going on a BREAK for 1 month and a half. She is afraid that we havent dated enough people and doesnt want to waste our youth and such. I just was curious how do i get past this I mean in all seriousness everything i look at reminds me of her. How do I go on this month and a bit more break with not going nuts.

go find some temporary poon and release all of your aggressions :up:

[DV8]

If you let this girl do this to you, she'll walk all over you for the rest of your adult life. I'd say if you want to prove to her that you're a man tell her you don't want a relationship with "breaks".

Yeah, but in Hush's case he isn't giving some specific reason for the "break" like distance or moving onto a new stage in life, just that she wants to date other people before she gets old. That's bad ju-ju right there.

I would tell Hush to without a doubt, follow this advice . . . except for that MissHush also posts here and is more than likely to read this :hehe:

[AndThePickles]

SO my gf of 2 years, MissHush, on the boards here. Has decided that we are going on a BREAK for 1 month and a half. She is afraid that we havent dated enough people and doesnt want to waste our youth and such. I just was curious how do i get past this I mean in all seriousness everything i look at reminds me of her. How do I go on this month and a bit more break with not going nuts.

I don't do "breaks." To me, a break up should mean for good. I particularly don't agree with the reason for this break...it's like what, date around and if nothing better comes along get back together? It sounds like agreed upon cheating only not labeling each other as being in a relationship together. I don't think it's right, and to me, it signals the end of the relationship. She wants to see other people. No one truly in love would ever suggest this kind of "break."

I have nothing against your girlfriend, personally, and I really like when she posts here. However, I'm not going to sugarcoat my answer.

[DV8]

I don't do "breaks." To me, a break up should mean for good. I particularly don't agree with the reason for this break...it's like what, date around and if nothing better comes along get back together? It sounds like agreed upon cheating only not labeling each other as being in a relationship together. I don't think it's right, and to me, it signals the end of the relationship. She wants to see other people. No one truly in love would ever suggest this kind of "break."

I have nothing against your girlfriend, personally, and I really like when she posts here. However, I'm not going to sugarcoat my answer.

seriously . . . :up:

and also, who the **** wants to get back together with someone after they've basically been out banging other people to sow their wild oats or what have you? After this break, things will never be the same for the Hushes . . .

If this were me, I would hold contempt for the other person in the back of my mind for the rest of the relationship . . .

I think what you should really do, Hush is put yourself out there . . . date other people, and for all you know, you might actually find someone you feel more strongly about . . . but in all honesty I would try to keep things casual w/ other people right now if you're just getting out of a relationship

[Hush]

Which is why I asked the "age" question. Wasn't sure if they were both freshmen in college etc and she realized that dating your high school sweetheart is dampering her social life.

21 in june. she just turned 20 on the 24th.

I don't do "breaks." To me, a break up should mean for good. I particularly don't agree with the reason for this break...it's like what, date around and if nothing better comes along get back together? It sounds like agreed upon cheating only not labeling each other as being in a relationship together. I don't think it's right, and to me, it signals the end of the relationship. She wants to see other people. No one truly in love would ever suggest this kind of "break."

I have nothing against your girlfriend, personally, and I really like when she posts here. However, I'm not going to sugarcoat my answer.

Thanks ATP and all that answered. I have asked like 30 people what to do but Hype has its way of helping some how. I just really do love her and have for 2 years I would hate for this to go to the dogs. She still says she loves me and that she can still see herself with me in the end, GAH I just don't know!

[AndThePickles]

I have seen your situation before, Hush. Everyone always claimed they still loved their sig other and they can see themselves with them. Well, if that was really true, why do they "need" to date other people? If you know you're with someone you want to marry, why in the world would you throw away a good thing?

Of course you still love her, and you aren't the one who wanted to take a break. It just doesn't sound like you're being fair to yourself by allowing something like this to happen. Don't use length of time you've dated as an excuse...if you had 2 great years, then that's awesome. But do you want to waste time waiting for someone who doesn't want to be with ONLY you right now? It sounds emotionally awful.

[Doctor Jones]

Don't think about it so much. Just talk with them. Don't go into it thinking "I'm gonna try and get a date!" Just go into it trying to make a new friend...total disinterest outside of just having a chat. Don't don't don't go into it LOOKING for interest. Just talk dude, be yourself. If a girl is in to you outside of chatting and friendship, she'll make it known.



I say talk to her anyway (DO NOT ASK HER OUT) just talk. It can't hurt. If nothing else you learn from the experience (good or bad). You're in high school right? Any experience is good experience (so long as it isn't throwing away 18 good months of your college career on a soul sucking she-b!+ch).

Though NR makes one fantastic point...much like on the 40 Year Old Virgin...DO NOT put the p*$$y on a pedestal! The moment you start looking at any girl like a goddess, or as your perfect woman then you are putting her in a position of power over you that she (and really no woman) deserves. That is a bad way to start. Just for future information. :o

I really has no intention of asking her out anyway. Just to talk to her or something, to get an idea if she's into me or not but still talk in a friendly manner. Yeah, I am a sophomore in high school.

My friend (god bless him for it) always tells me I just need the confidence of it. He does it all the time.

I even added Connery's advice in my sig. :woot: I think this quote should be my motivation from now on. Not literally (though it could still happen) it's a good quote about putting yourself forward.

[DV8]

21 in june. she just turned 20 on the 24th.



Thanks ATP and all that answered. I have asked like 30 people what to do but Hype has its way of helping some how. I just really do love her and have for 2 years I would hate for this to go to the dogs. She still says she loves me and that she can still see herself with me in the end, GAH I just don't know!


Hush, you guys really are pretty young still . . . this is pry the best thing to do, in all honesty . . .

but I do have a question, and that's what actually brought this on? Has she been acting differently, and if so, for how long?

If I were you I'm not necessarily saying go out and bang a bunch of girls or anything like that, but start flirting, talking, hanging out with other girls . . .

and most important, take this time to really get to know yourself . . . that's something that a lot of people who marry young don't do . . . and which is the downfall of a lot of relationships (not saying that you're about to marriy her, but it sounds like you're pretty serious about her).

[Hush]

Hush, you guys really are pretty young still . . . this is pry the best thing to do, in all honesty . . .

but I do have a question, and that's what actually brought this on? Has she been acting differently, and if so, for how long?

If I were you I'm not necessarily saying go out and bang a bunch of girls or anything like that, but start flirting, talking, hanging out with other girls . . .

and most important, take this time to really get to know yourself . . . that's something that a lot of people who marry young don't do . . . and which is the downfall of a lot of relationships (not saying that you're about to marriy her, but it sounds like you're pretty serious about her).


Well, and i know what alot of people will say, she went to Panama for SB without me and had fun and that scared her that she had a good time with out me. She just wants to make sure that when/if we get back togethor we don't regret it 5 years into a marriage that we didnt do anything with other people and get bored with each other. I see where she is comming from. We are still young. For the record she did not cheat on me at all in Panama and she flat out said this to me. I trust her I have never been given a reason not to. You guys can say she did but she did'nt do it because she knew about my family and its past. So i do trust her 100%.

So thats the skinny. Oh and ATP, i get what your saying but to be blunt i can be very patient, im just that kinda guy.

[Gilpesh]

Looks like she cheated on you in Panama and wants some more random dudes.

[DV8]

Well, and i know what alot of people will say, she went to Panama for SB without me and had fun and that scared her that she had a good time with out me. She just wants to make sure that when/if we get back togethor we don't regret it 5 years into a marriage that we didnt do anything with other people and get bored with each other. I see where she is comming from. We are still young. For the record she did not cheat on me at all in Panama and she flat out said this to me. I trust her I have never been given a reason not to. You guys can say she did but she did'nt do it because she knew about my family and its past. So i do trust her 100%.

So thats the skinny. Oh and ATP, i get what your saying but to be blunt i can be very patient, im just that kinda guy.

yeah, it looks pretty rough, but maybe she didn't cheat on you . . . although it's not cheating if you're in different area codes :o *Road Trip reference*

[DV8]

Looks like she cheated on you in Panama and wants some more random dudes.

I think she pry just gave some random dude a handjob . . . but pry not the whole works :o

[Gilpesh]

I think she pry just gave some random dude a handjob . . . but pry not the whole works :o
1) Loved the Road Trip reference.

2) She most likely did a lot of things... it was Spring Break... in another country... and she didn't even bring him.

[DV8]

^yeah, she pry did the works :(

[Superman79]

Ouch guys. Have you no hearts?

We really don't know her like Hush does. She very well might be being completely honest with him. :o

Then again, as my buddy Geoff often says:
"Ovaries breed deceit...sometimes embryos...but more commonly: deceit" :csad:

[Gilpesh]

And the thing that definitely seals the "She cheated" thing... is her suddenly being surprised at how much fun she could have without him... as in... how much fun she could have with another guy or two.

[AndThePickles]

Eh, I wouldn't be so quick to jump to "she cheated." I'm inclined to believe that she did not. Perhaps she just realized through the environment that she wanted to date around, and go on a break BEFORE she ended up cheating?

[Gilpesh]

Ouch guys. Have you no hearts?
I don't. Or at least... I think I don't. Maybe I just need to learn how to take a pulse better. :csad:

We really don't know her like Hush does. She very well might be being completely honest with him. :o
About a trip to another country during the party and hook up time of the year without him, that she came back after having loads of fun, without him, which lead her to think about a break in their relationship?

Suuuuuure.

[DV8]

Ouch guys. Have you no hearts?

We really don't know her like Hush does. She very well might be being completely honest with him. :o

Then again, as my buddy Geoff often says:
"Ovaries breed deceit...sometimes embryos...but more commonly: deceit" :csad:

just showing our boy a little tough love . . . . fatty. :o :cwink:

[DV8]

And the thing that definitely seals the "She cheated" thing... is her suddenly being surprised at how much fun she could have without him... as in... how much fun she could have with another guy or two.

well I was in Panama just the other . . . wait; and that whole thing with me and Raul, and that girl that wanted us to dress up like Batman and Robin, and . . . OMG . . . COULD IT HAVE BEEN!!!?? :brucebat: :wow:

[Gilpesh]

Eh, I wouldn't be so quick to jump to "she cheated." I'm inclined to believe that she did not. Perhaps she just realized through the environment that she wanted to date around, and go on a break BEFORE she ended up cheating?
That's cause women stick together. :o

[Gilpesh]

well I was in Panama just the other . . . wait; and that whole thing with me and Raul, and that girl that wanted us to dress up like Batman and Robin, and . . . OMG . . . COULD IT HAVE BEEN!!!?? :brucebat: :wow:
Ah, the Batman and Robin... it breaks up so many relationships each year.

[DV8]

seriously-seriously, though . . . MissHush maybe didn't cheat . . . but if she didn't, she pry saw all her friends get plowed by South American beefsteak, and its awakened her inner carnivore . . .

[DV8]

Ah, the Batman and Robin... it breaks up so many relationships each year.

I'm just glad that Raul agreed to be Robin :hehe:

[Gilpesh]

seriously-seriously, though . . . MissHush maybe didn't cheat . . . but if she didn't, she pry saw all her friends get plowed by South American beefsteak, and its awakened her inner carnivore . . .
I'm seriously serious about thinking she cheated. This break is too well timed to be anything more than... "I had a fling over Spring Break... lot better than this relationship, let's take a 'break'."

I'm just glad that Raul agreed to be Robin :hehe:
Everyone wants to be the goddamn Batman... so difficult to work out some times.

[DV8]

I'm seriously serious about thinking she cheated. This break is too well timed to be anything more than... "I had a fling over Spring Break... lot better than this relationship, let's take a 'break'."


Everyone wants to be the goddamn Batman... so difficult to work out some times.

Hush really seems to believe her though, and there's a possible chance she's actually telling the truth . . . girls aren't as shallow as guys about cheating . . . if anything, Hush may have been sweating her while she was there (not sure if he was or not), and that's what made her change her mind . . .

Also Hush mentioned something about family history, so she could have cheated and lied to spare his feelings . . .

[DV8]

Everyone wants to be the goddamn Batman... so difficult to work out some times.

oh, and I almost forgot . . . Lol. :up:

[Gilpesh]

Hush really seems to believe her though, and there's a possible chance she's actually telling the truth . . . girls aren't as shallow as guys about cheating . . . if anything, Hush may have been sweating her while she was there (not sure if he was or not), and that's what made her change her mind . . .

Also Hush mentioned something about family history, so she could have cheated and lied to spare his feelings . . .
Yeah well... breaks are the language of the cheater. You don't break to just break and get away, that's what a break-up is for. But a break from the relationship? Especially when you bring up needing to see other people? Cheatin!

oh, and I almost forgot . . . Lol. :up:
The way to solve it? Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock.

[Voorhees]

I liked this girl with kids who is four years older than me (I'm 15) and everything seemed to be going great for starters. We would chat on Facebook nearly everyday for about a month, then I got her number, and when she found out I was 15 it was like she instantly lost interest, despite the fact that I had told her before. She told me she liked me and all, but now it doesn't seem the same.

At this point is it best to just pack it up and leave that alone?

[Gilpesh]

At this point is it best to just pack it up and leave that alone?
You need to ask?

Really. Move on, you're fifteen for f--ks sake. There's loads more women to meet and have them just stop talking to you. :hehe:

[Voorhees]

Meh, every girl I meet seems to have no interest in me, or have some excuse or something.

[Gilpesh]

Again... you're fifteen. Things aren't always going to be that way. You have loads of time ahead of you... unless there is a draft and another war... then whoops, I was wrong. :hehe:

[Voorhees]

I haven't actually been with a girl for three years, dude, and I've met tons of girls, same thing happens every single time. Even though I know I'm young, that's very, very discouraging.

[November Rain]

being in a relationship at 12 doesn't count.

by your time and wait. or don't openly wear your age on your sleeve unless you look really young.

no point getting worked up about these things yet, you have a life time's worth of relationship misery infront of you. Enjoy the quiet time while you can...

[Erzengel]

So thats the skinny. Oh and ATP, i get what your saying but to be blunt i can be very patient, im just that kinda guy.
You are willing to be patient while she goes around "dating" other guys?

That's not patient, it's a little pathetic.

Life is always about risks and chances. If you are constantly looking for the BBD (Bigger, better deal) you run the chance of losing/ruining something special.

Whether she feels because of friends or her age, you shouldn't have to wait around for her. You're not a dog.

[AndThePickles]

That's cause women stick together. :o

I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because Hush obviously trusts her :csad: I think he shouldn't be putting up with any of this.

I liked this girl with kids who is four years older than me (I'm 15) and everything seemed to be going great for starters. We would chat on Facebook nearly everyday for about a month, then I got her number, and when she found out I was 15 it was like she instantly lost interest, despite the fact that I had told her before. She told me she liked me and all, but now it doesn't seem the same.

At this point is it best to just pack it up and leave that alone?

I'm not surprised she lost interest...it'd be illegal for you guys to ever do anything physical, for heavens sakes. If I was 19, I'd never date a 15 year old...at that age, that age gap is just too young.

[Erzengel]

Agreed Pickles, do you really think any 19 year old female wants to date a 15 year old? In general, a 19 year old girl is in college, goes out and parties. A normal 15 year old boy, is in high school can't drive and more often times has some sort of curfew.

I don't see her enthralled with having to pick you up for your date but not for a late movie because you have to be home by 11. :huh:

[Superman79]

I'm just in awe of the fact that everyone skipped over the fact that Vorhees' gal-pal is 19 and has kids. As in "two or more"...good grief. At least V knows she puts out...in which case, ATP is right, she wouldn't want a 15'er due to legal reasons...

[DV8]

I don't see her enthralled with having to pick you up for your date but not for a late movie because you have to be home by 11. :huh:

"Let's see what's playing here . . . ummm, Monsters Vs. Aliens, Scooby Doo 3 . . . oh, is the 6pm movie gonna be too late for you??"

[November Rain]

I'm just in awe of the fact that everyone skipped over the fact that Vorhees' gal-pal is 19 and has kids. As in "two or more"...good grief. At least V knows she puts out...in which case, ATP is right, she wouldn't want a 15'er due to legal reasons...
I've got single friends who were parents at 19, one was raped. It's not always good to pre-judge someone promiscuity because they had children.

It may be no big deal in this case but you don't want to find yourself with your foot in your mouth in the future.

:grin:

[Superman79]

I've got single friends who were parents at 19, one was raped. It's not always good to pre-judge someone promiscuity because they had children.

It may be no big deal in this case but you don't want to find yourself with your foot in your mouth in the future.

:grin:

Touche. :csad:

[ShadowBoxing]

Well, and i know what alot of people will say, she went to Panama for SB...
What happens in Panama, stays in Panama apparently.
So thats the skinny. Oh and ATP, i get what your saying but to be blunt i can be very patient, im just that kinda guy.
I'll be blunter. During this month she's could be gonna be mouthing some other dude's junk, you really want her back after that:huh:
I'm just in awe of the fact that everyone skipped over the fact that Vorhees' gal-pal is 19 and has kids. As in "two or more"...good grief. At least V knows she puts out...in which case, ATP is right, she wouldn't want a 15'er due to legal reasons...
Kids, more bad ju-ju.

[amazingfantasy15]

I liked this girl with kids who is four years older than me (I'm 15) and everything seemed to be going great for starters. We would chat on Facebook nearly everyday for about a month, then I got her number, and when she found out I was 15 it was like she instantly lost interest, despite the fact that I had told her before. She told me she liked me and all, but now it doesn't seem the same.

At this point is it best to just pack it up and leave that alone?

Three things are wrong with this picture;

1. You're 15, she's 19, so it's illegal and at that age/time of your life the age difference is too big. Besides she might be afraid that if she actually did agree to go on a date, Chris Hansen would greet her, not a 15 year old kid.
2. She has kids.
3. It sounds like you met on Facebook, I've said it before and I'll say it again, Facebook and MySpace are not dating sites! Don't use them as dating sites, you're 15 too, so you shouldn't even be using a dating site right now. Just have fun and be a teenager, don't worry so much about being in a relationship.

[Ahura Mazda]

I did not see that she had kids. That is crazy at the age of 19, and Vorhees you would have been crazy to get involved with her. As attractive aas having sex is, it is really not worth it, if the consequences would be worse then the joy of your first time.

Just enjoy being 15.

[Voorhees]

Three things are wrong with this picture;

1. You're 15, she's 19, so it's illegal and at that age/time of your life the age difference is too big. Besides she might be afraid that if she actually did agree to go on a date, Chris Hansen would greet her, not a 15 year old kid.
2. She has kids.
3. It sounds like you met on Facebook, I've said it before and I'll say it again, Facebook and MySpace are not dating sites! Don't use them as dating sites, you're 15 too, so you shouldn't even be using a dating site right now. Just have fun and be a teenager, don't worry so much about being in a relationship.

1. In response to earlier comments, I have no curfew and that b.s. about being in a relationship at 12 not counting is just that, B.S. I was with her for just about a year and she was two years older than me, so it still doesn't count? It's not as if I'm just your average unintelligent kid. I'm not bragging but in my case, I'm smarter than most kids I know.

2. I didn't just go on Facebook looking up people. She had actually been a friend of my brother from High School so I added her, and then started talking to her a few weeks after adding her.

[Voorhees]

I did not see that she had kids. That is crazy at the age of 19, and Vorhees you would have been crazy to get involved with her. As attractive aas having sex is, it is really not worth it, if the consequences would be worse then the joy of your first time.

Just enjoy being 15.

Actually, she doesn't put out. Around the time I started talking to her (before I started to like her) she had just broken up with her fiance who cheated on her. My intention was never to have sex with her, but to get to know her. I'm 15, and believe it or not but having sex is the least of my worries right now. :o

[Erzengel]

A relationship when you're 12 is a lot different from a relationship you have when you are in your teens, in high school, or in college or past it. We aren't trying to be condescending but all of us have been your age before.

And no offense to her, she's had 2 kids before she was 19. I mean if that was with her "fiance" that means they when she was in high school? Honestly for the most part any girl having a kid in high school is probably not doing as part of their overall plan.

[DV8]

heh . . . if she has 2 kids at 19, she definitely puts out :hehe:

[Erzengel]

I can understand 1 kid at her age because the way teenagers are but 2 kids? :huh:

[DV8]

my sister actually had 2 kids by the time she was 18 . . . but she's all kinds of ****ed up :(

[Superman79]

In response to earlier comments, I have no curfew and that b.s. about being in a relationship at 12 not counting is just that, B.S. I was with her for just about a year and she was two years older than me, so it still doesn't count? It's not as if I'm just your average unintelligent kid. I'm not bragging but in my case, I'm smarter than most kids I know.

Nobody is saying you're unintelligent, and no one is ripping you. It is just a pure simple fact, in both science and pure simple life experience, that at age 12, and even age 15, it is difficult for one's developing psyche and personality to truly grasp, embrace, and comprehend what it means to have a real relationship (we'll leave the sex part out of the equation for now). THAT is why those 'relationships' don't count. Hell, that's why I wouldn't even count any of my relationships when I was 18.

Thing is, yes, they feel life and death real. The desire to be cared for is there whether you're 12 or 22, but the thing is, by focusing so much on trying to have a relationship (let alone one with a girl 4 years older than you) you are missing out on the things in life that help you actually have a real, positive, and meaningful relationship when you are old enough/developed enough to appreciate it.

This has nothing to do with your intelligence or maturity. It has to do with the simple fact that there are things at work in one's life at that age that simply make things too complex for a perceived relationship to actually count. Just wait, when you get to be a Sr. in high school your going to wonder what you were thinking at age 15, and when you're a Sr. in college, your going to wonder what you were thinking when you were 19, and when you're 30 you're gonna look back and realize that as far as relationships go, nothing really counted until you were really out of college anyway.

THAT is why age 12 and age 15 don't really count. :o

[Erzengel]

Yeah most people don't consider their high school romances as real relationships.

[Superman79]

I can understand 1 kid at her age because the way teenagers are but 2 kids? :huh:


That's what I was saying!!

[Voorhees]

Nobody is saying you're unintelligent, and no one is ripping you. It is just a pure simple fact, in both science and pure simple life experience, that at age 12, and even age 15, it is difficult for one's developing psyche and personality to truly grasp, embrace, and comprehend what it means to have a real relationship (we'll leave the sex part out of the equation for now). THAT is why those 'relationships' don't count. Hell, that's why I wouldn't even count any of my relationships when I was 18.

Thing is, yes, they feel life and death real. The desire to be cared for is there whether you're 12 or 22, but the thing is, by focusing so much on trying to have a relationship (let alone one with a girl 4 years older than you) you are missing out on the things in life that help you actually have a real, positive, and meaningful relationship when you are old enough/developed enough to appreciate it.

This has nothing to do with your intelligence or maturity. It has to do with the simple fact that there are things at work in one's life at that age that simply make things too complex for a perceived relationship to actually count. Just wait, when you get to be a Sr. in high school your going to wonder what you were thinking at age 15, and when you're a Sr. in college, your going to wonder what you were thinking when you were 19, and when you're 30 you're gonna look back and realize that as far as relationships go, nothing really counted until you were really out of college anyway.

THAT is why age 12 and age 15 don't really count. :o

Now I can actually agree with that. Before you people would say relationships at those ages don't count just because of the age, and had no real reason. I see what you mean.

[Gilpesh]

Nobody is saying you're unintelligent, and no one is ripping you.
I was implying he was unintelligent... cause he actually had to ask about this 'thing' that is clearly never going anywhere.

And I avoided ripping on him... be proud of me. :grin:

I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt because Hush obviously trusts her :csad: I think he shouldn't be putting up with any of this.
Benefit of the doubt is for people who didn't ditch their significant other to party in a Spring Break captial... with lots of booze... and no rules. :hehe:

I'll be blunter. During this month she's could be gonna be mouthing some other dude's junk, you really want her back after that:huh:
SB... that's like the best case scenario... as in, one other dude.

Kids, more bad ju-ju.
And at fifteen... he doesn't need more bad ju-ju than being fifteen.

[Voorhees]

I like how you imply I'm unintelligent and then assume that because she has two kids that she's a whore.

[Prison Mike]

I can understand 1 kid at her age because the way teenagers are but 2 kids? :huh:

maybe the kids are twins...

[Voorhees]

No, she had one three years ago and another last year....the second one, I believe, was intentionally had, since she was engaged during the time she had it.

[Eros]

I like how you imply I'm unintelligent and then assume that because she has two kids that she's a whore.


she is a whore.

[Voorhees]

If she was in a relationship with both men, how does that make her a whore? It wasn't random men or some **** like that.

[Eros]

If she was in a relationship with both men, how does that make her a whore? It wasn't random men or some **** like that.

shes a stupid whore then, apparently she allowed two seperate men to impregnate her, I guess condoms, and birth control pills don't exist in her world.

[Voorhees]

That's not stupid at all. I could see the first child accidentally happening, but it's not stupid at all if you have a child by someone you're engaged to. All of this judgmental ******** irks me, someone who has children early doesn't make them a whore.

[Gilpesh]

I like how you imply I'm unintelligent and then assume that because she has two kids that she's a whore.
Um. I didn't call her a whore?

That's about someone else... the entire world doesn't revolve around your silly little almost/not real relationship. :oldrazz:

[Eros]

Um. I didn't call her a whore?

That's about someone else... the entire world doesn't revolve around your silly little almost/not real relationship. :oldrazz:

Vorhees should not get involved with a 2 child whore, she will probbaly get his ass stuck with a kid.

[Gilpesh]

Now. See V? Eros is the one calling her a woman of the night... not me.

There's a difference between him and I.... I think.

[Voorhees]

I'm not really paying attention to Eros anymore...I came here for people to weigh in intelligently on the situation, they did, I'm out until I need more advice on something else. If he wants to think that she's a whore, I don't care.

[Eros]

I'm not really paying attention to Eros anymore...I came here for people to weigh in intelligently on the situation, they did, I'm out until I need more advice on something else. If he wants to think that she's a whore, I don't care.

Thats the thing, you do care.

[Voorhees]

To an extent I do because it's not right to label her a whore because she has kids at an early age. As much as I know about her, I can affirm she's the furthest thing from a whore, and unless you actually know her, then stop trying to slander her.

[DV8]

the main point is, Vorhees . . . you do NOT want to be getting involved in a relationship with a woman that has 2 kids already at your age . . . you just don't want to do that; let it go . . .

****, even at my age dating a woman with 2 kids is a large bite to chew . . .

[Voorhees]

I have let it go, I'm not trying to pursue her anymore, or really anyone at this point for that matter.

[Eros]

I have let it go, I'm not trying to pursue her anymore, or really anyone at this point for that matter.


Years from now, you will look back on this, and thank god you didn't get involved with that womans mess of a life.

[DV8]

well then stick to girls your age . . . and do yourself a favor, and try to stay away from the ones with kids . . . seriously . . .

[Voorhees]

Lol, she has far from a mess of a life. In fact, she's doing very well for herself...she's out living on her own and isn't struggling with any bills or stuff like that. Far from a mess of a life if you ask me.

[uchiha_itachi]

To the people who helped me out last time i posted in here...you where right. Im now trying to move on.

thanks :)

[Voorhees]

What happened?

[Superman79]

To the people who helped me out last time i posted in here...you where right. Im now trying to move on.

thanks :)

Oh boy.

DON"T JUMP DUDE!!!

[DV8]

so here's a new interesting situation for me . . .

this kinda new girl at work is kinda fly; she been working there for maybe 6 months . . . she's a little frumpy, but she's real sweet, intelligent, pretty sophisticated in the way she carries herself; reminds me a little of an ex-girlfirend actually . . . And she's really hot, but in a slightly nerdy undercover style . . . I don't really know much about her, but I can tell she kinda likes my vibe the more I talk to her . . .

I mean, I'm a HUGE flirt so I guess I was just kind of subconsciously flirting with her every time I saw her . . . but as I mentioned, she reminds me of an ex and for that reason I'm a bit turned off . . .

anyway, we start to talk more and more, and then started emailing each other a couple weeks ago . . . it's now obvious she has a crush on me, or whatever until she reveals that she's married MAN! what is it w/ these married women I always attract!?!?!

so whatever . . . we're just still emailing each other, but I'll admit, I do dig her . . . I'm definiely attracted to her . . .

anyway, the more we talk, she starts to go into more detail about her marriage, and basically how her husband treats her like ****; she told me that he makes her cry constantly (I didn't ask her anything else specific to that), and basically that he cheats on her and calls her fat (when she's really not fat at all, she's a little thick like maybe a size 8 or 9) . . . and well, basically he's a prick it would seem . . .

She got married at 19, and she's 25 now, so I basically told her that it sounds like she never got a chance to find herself and that to me, a relationship isn't worth it anymore when the bads outweigh the goods . . . and basically that her husband had been finding himself at her expense . . .

so here's the real kicker!! I came into work today and she told me that she's decided to get a separation from her husband :wow: :wow:

Idk . . . it feels weird . . . this girl basically was looking for some guidance . . . someone to listen, and I was very honest with her about how I felt, sincerely for her sake, not just so I could bang her . . . but she basically told me today that after what I told her, she talked to her parents (who agree) that she should be separated and her husband get some kind of help :confused:

but in a way, I feel like a homewrecker; oh well, a ****ed up marriage is the same as any other ****ed up relationship the way I see it . . . if someone's unhappy, they're unhappy . . . anyway, just an anecdote I felt like putting on here for what it's worth . . .

[Gilpesh]

At first I would agree with homewrecker... but it somewhat seems if the stories about her husband are true... that you're just an eyeopener that she doesn't have to take ****ing ******** from a prick who got her when she was younger and stupid.

[Voorhees]

I think you made the right move, even if it was just friendly advice and not "I want to get in your pants" advice. If she's got a messed up marriage and it's been getting worse and worse, a separation is the only logical thing to do.

[LinDuh]

Aww, it's so cute how people are all helping each other out. Wish I was here since the very beginning of the thread. Would have been nice to keep up with things as they were happening. Bleh. Suckage.

[Voorhees]

I feel your pain...there are so many great discussions that this thread has went through.

[Gilpesh]

Aww, it's so cute how people are all helping each other out.
You ****ing take that back! Or exclude me. I don't help anyone! :cmad:












:oldrazz:

[LinDuh]

Yep, so I've noticed. I'll probably favorite it and spend some times reading it off and on until I'm finally up to date. Might take awhile though, cuz it seems to be moving every day! Oyyy...:o

[Voorhees]

It's probably going to be weeks before you finish reading it, unless you spend the whole day reading page after page without any distractions.

[LinDuh]

You ****ing take that back! Or exclude me. I don't help anyone! :cmad:

Haha good one. I was all like "Wow, giving in to the Dark Side are we?" :oldrazz:

[DV8]

word . . . I wish we had a condensed version of everyone's stories as they unfolded . . . unfortunately most of those tales end in self-loathing and disappointment :o

[LinDuh]

It's probably going to be weeks before you finish reading it, unless you spend the whole day reading page after page without any distractions.*cringe* Oh yes, I've spent oodles of time in the past reading entire threads on different forums. No picnic! Even if did opt to spend a whole day reading it, my eyes probably wouldn't permit that. Probably go cross-eyed early on. *cringe again*

[DV8]

I forgot to mention that she also told me today that he also hits her, or has hit her in the past :( :cmad:

I'm not gonna lie, I definitely want to get in her pants . . . but I wouldn't purposely try and ruin a marriage for that . . .

but my flirting goes a little too far sometimes, cuz I did tell her she could use me as a sex object :hehe: jokingly, of course :o

[Voorhees]

Maybe read about 10 pages a day? I find that if I try to read whole threads I usually start skimming for pics and stop actually paying attention to the discussions.

[LinDuh]

word . . . I wish we had a condensed version of everyone's stories as they unfolded . . . unfortunately most of those tales end in self-loathing and disappointment :oBummer. I probably would have fit right in then. No happy endings? Dah well, you know what they say: What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Or in the case of unrequited love, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger...but maybe bitter too.

[Voorhees]

I forgot to mention that she also told me today that he also hits her, or has hit her in the past :( :cmad:

I'm not gonna lie, I definitely want to get in her pants . . . but I wouldn't purposely try and ruin a marriage for that . . .

but my flirting goes a little too far sometimes, cuz I did tell her she could use me as a sex object :hehe: jokingly, of course :o

If he's hit her, you definitely did the right thing by telling her what you told her. Frankly, he deserves to have his ass kicked.

I say get the girl while you can, she obviously likes you.

[DV8]

Bummer. I probably would have fit right in then. No happy endings? Dah well, you know what they say: What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Or in the case of unrequited love, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger...but maybe bitter too.

heh . . . that's why I usually post my stories after they're successful, or have already unfolded :cwink:

the only bad experience is one that we don't learn from . . .

[Gilpesh]

Haha good one. I was all like "Wow, giving in to the Dark Side are we?" :oldrazz:
No. I usually just aim for telling the worst possible outcome... like Hush and his lady going on Spring Break without him and most likely cheating on him.

I forgot to mention that she also told me today that he also hits her, or has hit her in the past :( :cmad:

I'm not gonna lie, I definitely want to get in her pants . . . but I wouldn't purposely try and ruin a marriage for that . . .

but my flirting goes a little too far sometimes, cuz I did tell her she could use me as a sex object :hehe: jokingly, of course :o
Yes... jokingly... :hehe:

Bummer. I probably would have fit right in then. No happy endings? Dah well, you know what they say: What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Or in the case of unrequited love, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger...but maybe bitter too.
Depends what massage parlor you go to...

[LinDuh]

Maybe read about 10 pages a day? I find that if I try to read whole threads I usually start skimming for pics and stop actually paying attention to the discussions.Hear, hear. Me too. It'll have to be little by little. It's doable tho.

As far as this lady getting hit, grrrrrr. I don't yet know the details of the situation seeing as how I haven't read the story from the beginning yet, but all I can say is, though there's no excuse for a man to hit a woman, I also don't think it's okay for a marriage to be expendable either. 'Tis a tough situation, this is certain.

Gah, too late in the night for me to get to deep or involved at the moment. *Yawn* Hope she finds a way to get thru her situation though.

[Voorhees]

heh . . . that's why I usually post my stories after they're successful, or have already unfolded :cwink:

the only bad experience is one that we don't learn from . . .

True that, there were quite a few experiences I didn't learn from, and because of that, I ended up going through something similar. Like with this situation just now...there was this other 18 year old I liked and her sole reason for not wanting to date was my age. I still keep in contact though. Hopefully once I hit 17 or 18 she'll change her mind. :hehe:

[DV8]

Gah, too late in the night for me to get to deep or involved at the moment. *Yawn* Hope she finds a way to get thru her situation though.

oh, I have a few things in mind I could 'show' her :word: *cues up Marvin Gaye*

[DV8]

True that, there were quite a few experiences I didn't learn from, and because of that, I ended up going through something similar. Like with this situation just now...there was this other 18 year old I liked and her sole reason for not wanting to date was my age. I still keep in contact though. Hopefully once I hit 17 or 18 she'll change her mind. :hehe:

that's right, you've planted the seed . . . and it may one day blossom into a ****able fern

[Voorhees]

oh, I have a few things in mind I could 'show' her :word: *cues up Marvin Gaye*

:hehe: Best post I've read all day.

[Voorhees]

that's right, you've planted the seed . . . and it may one day blossom into a ****able fern

:grin:

In all seriousness, does that seem like a sensible plan? Since that's her only gripe, would it be best just to wait until I'm around that age, and try again to make a move, but until then get to know her?

[DV8]

:grin:

In all seriousness, does that seem like a sensible plan? Since that's her only gripe, would it be best just to wait until I'm around that age, and try again to make a move, but until then get to know her?

I was actually going to elaborate on that . . . when you're planting seeds, you don't want to necessarily take a 'sit around and wait' stance on that . . . keep in contact with her; keep flirting with her, etc., etc. . . .

it doesn't work like a cake in the oven where you just leave it be, and expect that the moment you come back, it'll be ready to eat . . .

it's more like a stew where you have to maintain and stir it, and check every once in a while to see if it's done . . .

the only reason the age thing is pry holding her back is because she took too much time to think about it . . . girls aren't good at thinking (:hehe:), so if you give them too much time to do that, they scare themselves away . . .

my point is, she's stuck on this age as a number thing, but what you really need to do is prove to her that you're more mature than your age; but you don't wanna force that . . . just be yourself, you seem like a pretty intelligent guy for your age . . . and you have an older brother which usually rubs off some experience to the younger sibling . . .

as you get older, the age thing will matter less and less, so in that sense, you are on the right track of sorts when you said you'd figure to wait til you're older . . . and then you **** that fern :up:

[Voorhees]

I do keep in contact, and try to give her compliments but not too many so she's not taking it the wrong way. And thanks for the compliment, you all seem pretty cool too.

Now, I'm glad you made that post. Initially, I was going to leave her alone altogether, but as I sat back and viewed the situation, I can't fault her for bringing up the age thing. I also do show her I'm intelligent. In fact, our first discussion (which was on Facebook) was a scientific one, and she keep reiterating I was smart.

As for my brother, he's married and so since he's not playing the field I'm not sure how much experience will rub off, but I know for damn sure as far as the 19 year old with kids is concerned I should've listened when he said it wouldn't work. He thought I'd get her and she'd break it off, I guess I can be lucky it happened differently.

[DV8]

I do keep in contact, and try to give her compliments but not too many so she's not taking it the wrong way. And thanks for the compliment, you all seem pretty cool too.

Now, I'm glad you made that post. Initially, I was going to leave her alone altogether, but as I sat back and viewed the situation, I can't fault her for bringing up the age thing. I also do show her I'm intelligent. In fact, our first discussion (which was on Facebook) was a scientific one, and she keep reiterating I was smart.

As for my brother, he's married and so since he's not playing the field I'm not sure how much experience will rub off, but I know for damn sure as far as the 19 year old with kids is concerned I should've listened when he said it wouldn't work. He thought I'd get her and she'd break it off, I guess I can be lucky it happened differently.


yeah . . . you got it; don't overly compliment her on her looks. . . definitely throw it out there once in a while, but basically just keep her interest . . . it's real nice to throw in some compliments about her sense of humor, non-physical attributes mostly . . .

[DV8]

Vorhees, I also wanted to mention that the biggest difference (probably) between you and 19 year old competition, is a car and a job . . . which you may already be on your way to having . . .

[Voorhees]

That's true, they may think I have nothing real to offer, which I don't think is true. I'll probably try to get my license as fast as I can, but a car is going to have to wait. However, when I need to, I'll start working to be able to get my own car.

So, how often throughout the week should I text or call?

[DV8]

That's true, they may think I have nothing real to offer, which I don't think is true. I'll probably try to get my license as fast as I can, but a car is going to have to wait. However, when I need to, I'll start working to be able to get my own car.

So, how often throughout the week should I text or call?

well, don't really make a contrived timeframe of when you should text or call her . . . it should be spontaneous . . . the main thing is to not 'sweat' her . . . which a lot of younger guys do . . . you don't seem like you'd do that though, and she probably would have backed off had you been . . .

so if we have to talk numbers, I'd say 2-3 times a week (as in days); if she texts you first, even better . . .

but be weary of the friend zone . . . if you get too close, that's where you'll end up; you have to maintain a slight aire of mystery; DO NOT become her best buddy that she texts when she has problems, when she needs a favor, etc, etc; you don't have to be a dick to her, but you have to draw a line that clearly underlines the kind of relationship you want (to some day bone her) :hehe:

[Voorhees]

That's some smart thinking. People would always tell me with other girls to avoid the friend zone but never explained it as you did. I see what you mean...get to know her, talk to her, and maybe hang out when she's in town, but don't get too close for a friend, so that when I ask she doesn't say "I only see us as being friends". Luckily, after she shot me down I didn't talk to her for a few weeks because I was a little down, but I decided to start things up again.

And no, I don't constantly pester her...I try not to do that with any girl. I hate sending a lot of messages. If they don't reply, I try again a few days later, to not give off a needy feeling.

[DV8]

That's some smart thinking. People would always tell me with other girls to avoid the friend zone but never explained it as you did. I see what you mean...get to know her, talk to her, and maybe hang out when she's in town, but don't get too close for a friend, so that when I ask she doesn't say "I only see us as being friends". Luckily, after she shot me down I didn't talk to her for a few weeks because I was a little down, but I decided to start things up again.

And no, I don't constantly pester her...I try not to do that with any girl. I hate sending a lot of messages. If they don't reply, I try again a few days later, to not give off a needy feeling.


you got it kid! basically, just get to know her . . .

A lot of people get stuck in the friend zone, because for some strange reason they think if they become their FRIEND, they'll eventually bone at some point, that it's bound to happen sooner or later . . . not how it works . . .

a friend is a rock that will always be there for you . . . a cock has to be illusive . . .

[Voorhees]

Lmao, very good points, I'll probably try to text tomorrow.

One thing I'm nervous about is calling. When you call, you have to think on your feet. With the 19 year old that wasn't a problem because we had more in common, namely the sense of humor. With the other girl we have a few things in common, but I don't know exactly how well the convos will go, because I don't want her to think I'm boring.

[DV8]

Lmao, very good points, I'll probably try to text tomorrow.

One thing I'm nervous about is calling. When you call, you have to think on your feet. With the 19 year old that wasn't a problem because we had more in common, namely the sense of humor. With the other girl we have a few things in common, but I don't know exactly how well the convos will go, because I don't want her to think I'm boring.

use your strong points . . . just text her for a while to feel out her personality . . . it gives you a chance to practice being witty . . . and it'll become easier and easier over the phone over time . . .

[Voorhees]

Sounds like a plan, I never like to just jump into calling if I can help it, so that I don't seem boring or like an idiot. You have to think on your feet on the phone, whereas with a text message you can take the time to think out your responses.

[DV8]

Sounds like a plan, I never like to just jump into calling if I can help it, so that I don't seem boring or like an idiot. You have to think on your feet on the phone, whereas with a text message you can take the time to think out your responses.

exactly dude!!! you got it, seriously . . . it's like practice for being witty . . . just look at how long it takes me to write my responses here :o

[Voorhees]

Lol, thanks for the advice, dude, I plan to put it into effect as best I can.

Btw, I already proposed we hang out when she comes down from College (she's only a few hours away from where I live, anyway) and she wasn't against the idea, so hopefully that'll work to my advantage as well.

[DV8]

Lol, thanks for the advice, dude, I plan to put it into effect as best I can.

Btw, I already proposed we hang out when she comes down from College (she's only a few hours away from where I live, anyway) and she wasn't against the idea, so hopefully that'll work to my advantage as well.

yeah . . . just keep it casual; flirt a little, yadda, yadda; and don't keep pushing the hanging out thing, until she makes it down . . . and if she doesn't hang out, whatever . . .

in the meantime, definitely keep planting more seeds . . . many, many, many seeds . . . like you're trying to grow a goddamn sunflower patch! :up:

[Voorhees]

I only brought it up once, and may bring it up closer to the time she plans on coming down, but I won't dwell on it.

I'm going to plant as many seeds as I can. ;) Again, thanks for the advice.

[DV8]

you show much promise, young padawan!! You are most welcome :up:

[Superman79]

I forgot to mention that she also told me today that he also hits her, or has hit her in the past :( :cmad:

I'm not gonna lie, I definitely want to get in her pants . . . but I wouldn't purposely try and ruin a marriage for that . . .

but my flirting goes a little too far sometimes, cuz I did tell her she could use me as a sex object :hehe: jokingly, of course :o

I say get the girl while you can, she obviously likes you.

So you were clearly not responsible for the marriage disintegrating. My only warning would be that after such a trauma, you trying to get in her pants might not be the best thing for her psychologically. Normally I'm with you 99% of the time DV8, but this time I would really advise just being a friend and completely toss any thoughts of getting with her out the window...for the sake of her and her mental health. :csad:


In all seriousness, does that seem like a sensible plan? Since that's her only gripe, would it be best just to wait until I'm around that age, and try again to make a move, but until then get to know her?

Honestly man, I think a better plan is to just live your life and see what comes along. I mean, remember, when you are finally 18, she'll be what...21? 22? Then you have the issue where she's going to want to go to the bars, and you won't be able to...she'll be off at college while you finish Sr. year...hell, you are likely to end up at different colleges (not to mention 9 times out of 10 women don't date men younger than them, at least not by more than a year...). Things like that get in the way while you sit and wait.

I say live your life, get involved with your school or community activities, and see what comes to you (that is closer in age/interest/experience). Hell, if I had a dollar for every woman that I have met (as a friend, acquaintance or romance) since I was your age...I wouldn't have to worry about the economy, if you get my drift.

Like I said man, personally, I wouldn't plot, pine and wait for this one girl where the likelihood of success is 50/50 at best, I'd jump at the chance to flirt/mess around with/meet any beautiful woman I could. I mean, why limit yourself when you have a veritable buffet of women coming your way in the coming years? And really, all it takes is one. :woot:

exactly dude!!! you got it, seriously . . . it's like practice for being witty . . . just look at how long it takes me to write my responses here :o

Good point, we can't all be as sharp as Erz and I ;)

[Erzengel]

I am a pretty sharp person. :)

[amazingfantasy15]

So you were clearly not responsible for the marriage disintegrating. My only warning would be that after such a trauma, you trying to get in her pants might not be the best thing for her psychologically. Normally I'm with you 99% of the time DV8, but this time I would really advise just being a friend and completely toss any thoughts of getting with her out the window...for the sake of her and her mental health. :csad:

Honestly man, I think a better plan is to just live your life and see what comes along. I mean, remember, when you are finally 18, she'll be what...21? 22? Then you have the issue where she's going to want to go to the bars, and you won't be able to...she'll be off at college while you finish Sr. year...hell, you are likely to end up at different colleges (not to mention 9 times out of 10 women don't date men younger than them, at least not by more than a year...). Things like that get in the way while you sit and wait.

I say live your life, get involved with your school or community activities, and see what comes to you (that is closer in age/interest/experience). Hell, if I had a dollar for every woman that I have met (as a friend, acquaintance or romance) since I was your age...I wouldn't have to worry about the economy, if you get my drift.

Like I said man, personally, I wouldn't plot, pine and wait for this one girl where the likelihood of success is 50/50 at best, I'd jump at the chance to flirt/mess around with/meet any beautiful woman I could. I mean, why limit yourself when you have a veritable buffet of women coming your way in the coming years? And really, all it takes is one. :woot:

Good point, we can't all be as sharp as Erz and I ;)

Yeah, this is great advice DV8, don't try to sleep or get in a relationship with this girl, she's way too f'ed up right now.

Voorhees, start going after girls your own age, sure they'll be stupid and immature, but so are those 18 or 19 year olds you're trying to get, you're just not seeing it. Plotting and planning to ask a girl out two years from now is pointless, so many things can happen during that time, plus you'll still be at two totally different phases in life. When you're in your 20s and out of school, a 3-4 year age difference doesn't matter much anymore, but in your teens and/or early 20s, still in school, it matters a lot.

[Superman79]

I am a pretty sharp person. :)

Like a tack mang, like a tack :yay: