*Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[uchiha_itachi]

Do you always need to be told? :huh: You know if someone asked me to go out after work, for drinks. That's all I would think it was drinks, not a date. I think some people don't want to use the word "date" when talking to women because maybe they think if they go out as friends firsts, you are just going to WOW them on the first outing. :huh:

If you want to go out with someone, make it clear it's a date.

yeah but i made it clear i was asking her out for a date? and she knew it was a date cos she went off and said " Jonni just asked me out:wow:"

i dont need to be told, of course not. but if someone asks somone out and its clear your doing it as a date thing then it would be nice to know. thats all im saying.

[LouFerignoDemon]

Mistress Gluon blinked twice in my direction. That means she wants my babies. :heart:


lol Here's my number.

[enterthemadness]

Did you put that in your profile? :huh:

What profile? I'm tired, you amke no sense to me now, :awesome: b bybyesbybbbyesbyes

[uchiha_itachi]

I think you and I might have been beaten with the same bad luck stick at birth. The very reason I never ask girls out is because when I do, **** like what happened to you and I happens like clockwork.

same for me. every girl i like has a bf. its just a typical thing to happen to me.

[LouFerignoDemon]

yeah but i made it clear i was asking her out for a date? and she knew it was a date cos she went off and said " Jonni just asked me out:wow:"

i dont need to be told, of course not. but if someone asks somone out and its clear your doing it as a date thing then it would be nice to know. thats all im saying.


Exactly, word for word, what did you ask her?

[Erzengel]

yeah but i made it clear i was asking her out for a date? and she knew it was a date cos she went off and said " Jonni just asked me out:wow:"

i dont need to be told, of course not. but if someone asks somone out and its clear your doing it as a date thing then it would be nice to know. thats all im saying.
In terms of your co-worker, was she "dating" the boss or was she just "effing" him?

I mean if she is in a not in an exclusive relationship, who says that accepting a date from you would mean she couldn't see 2 people at the same time?

[enterthemadness]

In terms of your co-worker, was she "dating" the boss or was she just "effing" him?

I mean if she is in a not in an exclusive relationship, who says that accepting a date from you would mean she couldn't see 2 people at the same time?

Before I go...I just have to share my thought with this.

:awesome: f-buddies with the Boss.

Just think about that...just think...you are going out with a girl..who is doing sex acts on the boss...I don't think the STD risk is worth it. Or the pay raise.

[Erzengel]

What profile? I'm tired, you amke no sense to me now, :awesome: b bybyesbybbbyesbyes
You said you did some sort of dating website. :huh:

[Cunning Stunts]

Well yeah, I think it's because you guys are too subtle. Asking a girl for contact info, unless you're doing it completely out of the blue on the street right when you see a woman, is not by itself a "I want to date you" sign. And unless she makes it totally clear she's interested in you too, and remember, some girls will flirt just for the fun of it as well. :funny: The nice flirty but non-interested ones (like my friend) will try and read you to make sure they're not leading you on, but I guess some guys are just clueless in that regard...

I think it's best just to take things slowly and think of that first contact as just that, first contact. And a first date as just getting to know the girl, at least until you have more experience reading women and their intentions. But lowering your expectations can help with the feelings of disappointment later on, is what I mean. :funny:

I agree. I mean, I probably misinterpreted how she acted/spoke with me as more flirtatious than it was supposed to be (if at all). As I said before, I don't really date much, so I probably just associate giving someone's number as, "Hey, let's go out sometime," unless it's on a situation like, with people on my sports team, or band, or something similar.

Some guys think any flirting = I'm soooo totally interested in you, and want to date, that giving my number = call me, we're bf/gf nao. And don't take it as some flirting = friendliness and fun, giving my number = hey, you're pretty fun, we can be friends.

And then I get b*****d at for leading him on somehow. :o

Well, I don't think I went that far with it. My biggest issue was that she ignored me when I asked (despite giving me her number), instead of being straight up with me. It was more of how it played out that annoyed me.

[enterthemadness]

You said you did some sort of dating website. :huh:

Ah, Zoosk. Yes.

I put something like...I dunno. Currently looking for a job, couldn't go to Film School, want to go to Community spring 2010, etc?

It's pointless cause I need to do surveys or pay them so much so I can have so many coins to unlock the e-mail part of the site. Only good feature is the fact I can control the search factor. Unlike e-harmoney, I can actual find women in my area and contact them.

[LouFerignoDemon]

I agree. I mean, I probably misinterpreted how she acted/spoke with me as more flirtatious than it was supposed to be (if at all). As I said before, I don't really date much, so I probably just associate giving someone's number as, "Hey, let's go out sometime," unless it's on a situation like, with people on my sports team, or band, or something similar.



Well, I don't think I went that far with it. My biggest issue was that she ignored me when I asked (despite giving me her number), instead of being straight up with me. It was more of how it played out that annoyed me.


Ahhhh, I see. She probably would've liked you as a friend, but saw you were romantically interested. Probably she brushed the question aside, trying to instead instill a friendship over a possible new love interest.

[Ace of Knaves]

The "friend zone". The scourge of all mankind. Everyone has been within it's grasp. :(

I beat the "friend zone" though, so har har hardy ****ing har!!!

[Erzengel]

Plus, do you really want women to be THAT honest with you? I mean at most what you are waisting a night or several text messages or a couple of phone calls before you realize hey she's not interested?

I think for the most part men and women don't want to be that forthcoming because they want to spare someone's feelings.

Long story short, dating isn't easy. I know most people don't think that opportunity just drops in your lap, but dating is a job. And not the good types of jobs but those can come later. :o

[katie_girl09]

I once put a profile on e-Harmony as a joke. I know, that was so mean of me. :o
Well, I don't think I went that far with it. My biggest issue was that she ignored me when I asked (despite giving me her number), instead of being straight up with me. It was more of how it played out that annoyed me.
No. Your biggest issue is that you couldn't hit it. But that's okay, it happens to the best of you guys anyway. :p

[uchiha_itachi]

In terms of your co-worker, was she "dating" the boss or was she just "effing" him?

I mean if she is in a not in an exclusive relationship, who says that accepting a date from you would mean she couldn't see 2 people at the same time?

she was fully going out with him. she was a ***** though, i dont like her at all anymore. im happy shes left. i quickly realised she knows shes hot and uses it on guys to get things.

[uchiha_itachi]

Exactly, word for word, what did you ask her?

I have no idea it was like a year and a half ago? its hounestly the last thing on my mind. im over it lol

i probably said " can i take you out to see a movie or somthing?"

and for future reference cos i must clearly do somthing wrong, if i want to make it clear its a date im askin for what should i say?

[LouFerignoDemon]

The "friend zone". The scourge of all mankind. Everyone has been within it's grasp. :(

I beat the "friend zone" though, so har har hardy ****ing har!!!
I like choosing my next victim potential significant other out of friend zone, actually.
she was fully going out with him. she was a ***** though, i dont like her at all anymore. im happy shes left. i quickly realised she knows shes hot and uses it on guys to get things.
Hahahaha, you totally -were- talking about me after all. :oldrazz:

j/k

[Erzengel]

she was fully going out with him. she was a ***** though, i dont like her at all anymore. im happy shes left. i quickly realised she knows shes hot and uses it on guys to get things.
There are always exceptions and there are both men and women who use their looks to get what they want.

[LouFerignoDemon]

I have no idea it was like a year and a half ago? its hounestly the last thing on my mind. im over it lol

i probably said " can i take you out to see a movie or somthing?"

and for future reference cos i must clearly do somthing wrong, if i want to make it clear its a date im askin for what should i say?

Ask her, "If you're not seeing anybody else, may I take you out to see a movie or something?"

[Cunning Stunts]

Ahhhh, I see. She probably would've liked you as a friend, but saw you were romantically interested. Probably she brushed the question aside, trying to instead instill a friendship over a possible new love interest.

Yeah, that's what I thought at first. Now she doesn't even look at me when I'm giving speeches. Don't get me wrong, I'm not pursuing anything anymore, just felt like *****ing about it.

Plus, do you really want women to be THAT honest with you? I mean at most what you are waiting a night or several text messages or a couple of phone calls before you realize hey she's not interested?

I think for the most post men and women don't want to be that forthcoming because they want to spare someone's feelings.

Long story short, dating isn't easy. I know most people don't think that opportunity just drops in your lap, but dating is a job. And not the good types of jobs but those can come later. :o

Yes, I'd rather her be that honest with me. And for the record, I sent two texts asking about it. Over the span of like, three days.

I once put a profile on e-Harmony as a joke. I know, that was so mean of me. :o

No. Your biggest issue is that you couldn't hit it. But that's okay, it happens to the best of you guys anyway. :p

Contrary to popular belief (and my username), I'm not the type to "hook up", nor bang after dating a girl for a week.

[Nightmare]

Some guys think any flirting = I'm soooo totally interested in you, and want to date, that giving my number = call me, we're bf/gf nao. And don't take it as some flirting = friendliness and fun, giving my number = hey, you're pretty fun, we can be friends.

And then I get b*****d at for leading him on somehow. :o

hahahaha

[katie_girl09]

I like choosing my next victim potential significant other out of friend zone, actually.
I thought most women did that anyway.

[Cunning Stunts]

I like choosing my next victim potential significant other out of friend zone, actually.

See, there's the Friend Zone, and then there's the "Friend Zone", the latter being a convenient and ******** excuse to not date someone. The latter excuse was pulled on me when I'd asked out a girl I'd known two weeks. I got, "You're like a brother to me!" (which I don't think happens after eating lunch at the same table a couple of times).

We got to know each other better over that following summer, became best friends... And, ironically enough, dated. BEAT THAT, FRIEND ZONE!


Hahahaha, you totally -were- talking about me after all. :oldrazz:

j/k

Uh, wasn't I the guy originally "talking about you"?

[Erzengel]

Yes, I'd rather her be that honest with me. And for the record, I sent two texts asking about it. Over the span of like, three days.

Regardless of what you rather her do. In the end, people for the most part don't want to go around hurting other people's feelings and if they can get by, by something non-confrontational, they are going to choose the easier route.

[LouFerignoDemon]

I thought most women did that anyway.


No, the population would be a lot smaller.

Wait, wait. Ummm.. yeah. :awesome:

[Cunning Stunts]

Regardless of what you rather her do. In the end, people for the most part don't want to go around hurting other people's feelings and if they can get by, by something non-confrontational, they are going to choose the easier route.

I never doubted that. I just answered the question.

[Anita18]

I think it is because I realized...


I live at home
No car and only permit
Jobless
Want to go to Community College then UNC-W, so that's 4 years.
Yes, I actually admitted to myself I probably have still done nothing with women by 26. (Virgin, never kissed, etc)

You sound exactly like a female poster on another forum I go to, at least in that defeatist attitude. We were talking about crazy wedding planning, and she was bemoaning how her boss's preteen daughter would get married before she did. :funny: I think she's a bit old for you though, I think she's in her 30s.

yeah but i made it clear i was asking her out for a date? and she knew it was a date cos she went off and said " Jonni just asked me out:wow:"
Or maybe she liked the attention. It's affirmation that she's still hot.

Ah, Zoosk. Yes.

I put something like...I dunno. Currently looking for a job, couldn't go to Film School, want to go to Community spring 2010, etc?

It's pointless cause I need to do surveys or pay them so much so I can have so many coins to unlock the e-mail part of the site. Only good feature is the fact I can control the search factor. Unlike e-harmoney, I can actual find women in my area and contact them.
Or, you could do OKCupid or Plenty of Fish, which are free, and there's proof that it works.

Long story short, dating isn't easy. I know most people don't think that opportunity just drops in your lap, but dating is a job. And not the good types of jobs but those can come later. :o
Sometimes it can. I didn't feel a spark with my bf at all when I first met him, I actually sorta tried to annoy him several times early on. :o He even moved back up to the Bay Area for a few months and at that time I thought, "Okay, I'll never see him again" but then he moved back down and since I had nothing else better to do I kept seeing him because he was nice. :funny: He kept on coming back! And he wasn't really as aloof as he first came off either, so here we are. :funny:

[LouFerignoDemon]

Regardless of what you rather her do. In the end, people for the most part don't want to go around hurting other people's feelings and if they can get by, by something non-confrontational, they are going to choose the easier route.


QFT. Like Erz also said, dating is a job.

Now, if it were me, I'll say it.

"Can I buy you a drink?"
"I'm with someone. But if you don't mind just drinking, that's more than fine. I got next round."

[Ace of Knaves]

I like choosing my next victim potential significant other out of friend zone, actually.



What do you mean? Like your friendship with someone has developed into something more?

[katie_girl09]

Contrary to popular belief (and my username), I'm not the type to "hook up", nor bang after dating a girl for a week.
That's exactly what he said. :(
EDIT: That was weird...

[Cunning Stunts]

Wtf?

[Erzengel]

The "Friend Zone" is a misnomer for the most part. Most people within a few sniffs of you have already have you measured, and determined of whether you are dating material.

Anyone who says, you're like a brother, I don't want to ruin our friendship, 95% of the time that can be translated into these few words...."I am not attracted to you."

Is it possible to cross over that bridge from friend to something else, yes. But guys, don't use the "friend zone" or even the "nice guy" as a crutch. If you aren't moving anywhere with someone, disengage and move on to the next.

[LouFerignoDemon]

What do you mean? Like your friendship with someone has developed into something more?
Yes. :awesome:

[Cunning Stunts]

The "Friend Zone" is a misnomer for the most part. Most people within a few sniffs of you have already have you measured, and determined of whether you are dating material.

Anyone who says, you're like a brother, I don't want to ruin our friendship, 95% of the time that can be translated into these few words...."I am not attracted to you."

Is it possible to cross over that bridge from friend to something else, yes. But guys, don't use the "friend zone" or even the "nice guy" as a crutch. If you aren't moving anywhere with someone, disengage and move on to the next.

I'm well aware of all this. :huh: I did exactly that. We became close friends and dated anyway.

I don't pull that, "Nice guys finish last," ********, because I don't believe it. The guys who usually pull that excuse tend to be manipulative and don't act like themselves around the girls they like, which bugs me to no end. I'm pretty sure I can take the hint to move on, as I have.

[Erzengel]

Sometimes it can. I didn't feel a spark with my bf at all when I first met him, I actually sorta tried to annoy him several times early on. :o He even moved back up to the Bay Area for a few months and at that time I thought, "Okay, I'll never see him again" but then he moved back down and since I had nothing else better to do I kept seeing him because he was nice. :funny: He kept on coming back! And he wasn't really as aloof as he first came off either, so here we are. :funny:

Well there's always exceptions, however in your case, didn't it take quite a while just to meet this guy? And even after it met, didn't it take a while for you to be officially together? My post was pretty much in terms of some people seemingly wanting instant gratification.

I know so many attractive people, who are having such a hard time dating. And unless they are secret psychos, which would make me question even my radar, it's cause the dating scene isn't easy.

[Ace of Knaves]

Well yea that's what happened to me.

I was just friends with my girlfriend throughout school. I fancied the pants off her though, but yea, she just saw me as a friend.

Then when we finished school I didn't see her for ages. About a year later there was a party where pretty much my entire year sorta had a reunion. She'd just broke up with her a boyfriend and we started chatting and catching up. After that we went out a few times for dinner and what not...the rest is history basically.

[Erzengel]

I'm well aware of all this. :huh: I did exactly that. We became close friends and dated anyway.

I don't pull that, "Nice guys finish last," ********, because I don't believe it. The guys who usually pull that excuse tend to be manipulative and don't act like themselves around the girls they like, which bugs me to no end. I'm pretty sure I can take the hint to move on, as I have.
Just speaking to the masses.

[Anita18]

Well there's always exceptions, however in your case, didn't it take quite a while just to meet this guy? And even after it met, didn't it take a while for you to be officially together? My post was pretty much in terms of some people seemingly wanting instant gratification.

I know so many attractive people, who are having such a hard time dating. And unless they are secret psychos, which would make me question even my radar, it's cause the dating scene isn't easy.
Well yeah, I had been on dating sites for a few years before finally finding myself in a relationship, so I know what you mean. All of my dates were nice though, not disasters. Just wasn't interest on the guys' part once they had met me, because I'm apparently ugly in person. :csad: I seemed to have tricked my bf though, somehow. :funny:

And yeah, I too wanted instant gratification, as my best friend will attest. I constantly pondered to her why I was still single. :funny: It's just that I realized I don't have instant mutual chemistry with anyone, and was willing to keep on seeing this guy because he was nice, and the relationship eventually developed.

And I think most people also want instant gratification, and if there isn't that initial spark, they immediately give up.

[Ace of Knaves]

It's about knowing when to persevere and when to give up I think.

And then sometimes when you do give up, it sorta, just happens anyway. Like in my case.

[BillyZaned]

Ah, Zoosk. Yes.

I put something like...I dunno. Currently looking for a job, couldn't go to Film School, want to go to Community spring 2010, etc?

It's pointless cause I need to do surveys or pay them so much so I can have so many coins to unlock the e-mail part of the site. Only good feature is the fact I can control the search factor. Unlike e-harmoney, I can actual find women in my area and contact them.

a hair cut, a shave, a little sun, and some time in the gym.... wouldn't hurt....

[katie_girl09]

Well yea that's what happened to me.

I was just friends with my girlfriend throughout school. I fancied the pants off her though, but yea, she just saw me as a friend.

Then when we finished school I didn't see her for ages. About a year later there was a party where pretty much my entire year sorta had a reunion. She'd just broke up with her a boyfriend and we started chatting and catching up. After that we went out a few times for dinner and what not...the rest is history basically.
That's a sweet story. :) How long have you guys been together?

I have gotten with a guy who was in my "friend zone", but that didn't end too well. But it usually doesn't where I'm concerned. :o

[Erzengel]

And I think most people also want instant gratification, and if there isn't that initial spark, they immediately give up.
I think there should be like at least a 2 date rule. I think if you can't click with someone by the 2nd date maybe there isn't any there in the first place.

[Ace of Knaves]

That's a sweet story. :) How long have you guys been together?

I have gotten with a guy who was in my "friend zone", but that didn't end too well. But it usually doesn't where I'm concerned. :o

Thanks :D

Well we proper got together when we was 17. So 6 years! ****, that is a long time! Had rocky patches though, but I suppose all relationships do. Had a bit of a on/off thing going for a year or so a couple years back, but we sorted it out.

[BillyZaned]

I think it is because I realized...



I live at home
No car and only permit
Jobless
Want to go to Community College then UNC-W, so that's 4 years.
Yes, I actually admitted to myself I probably have still done nothing with women by 26. (Virgin, never kissed, etc)
But, :awesome: I still have my body. :o I like how I prove to the world, that white men in fact can not jump.

you forgot to add this one
6. I actually make a list of things that I consider unattractive about myself, as a way to jusitify my lonelyness

stop the self hatred for one.... your a college kid, you don't need a car, or your own place.... you need to get ahold of yourself. If there are things you don't like, don't sit there and dwell on them, try to change them with a healthy attitude. Buy some new clothes, going tanning, go work out... there are plenty of things to do that will increase your confidence... and one thing I learned, confidence creates more confidence...

[Anita18]

I think there should be like at least a 2 date rule. I think if you can't click with someone by the 2nd date maybe there isn't any there in the first place.
And for introverted folks like my bf and me, it's more like, 4 months. :funny:

The thing was that I don't think we made it into a huge deal. It was pretty simple for him: he liked spending time with me, so that's why he kept on spending time with me. :funny:

[BillyZaned]

I agree though, I need to concentrate on my marriage more.... maybe tonight, since she works, when she gets home, I'll have the house all clean, have some cnadles lit with a nice bottle of wine... and we can just cuddle on the ground and watch a movie...

[Cunning Stunts]

Thanks :D

Well we proper got together when we was 17. So 6 years! ****, that is a long time! Had rocky patches though, but I suppose all relationships do.

Hats off to you, man. I just came out of a 2-year relationship a little while ago, and one of the [many] reasons I left it was because I was growing weary with being with one girl for too long. I do want to possibly get married in like... Ten years, but I seem to have commitment problems (when I actually get into a relationship to begin with). Congrats to you- I dunno if I'd ever be able to do that.

[Erzengel]

And for introverted folks like my bf and me, it's more like, 4 months. :funny:

The thing was that I don't think we made it into a huge deal. It was pretty simple for him: he liked spending time with me, so that's why he kept on spending time with me. :funny:
I'm also a firm believer in playing hard to get. So maybe you being "introverted" you came off as uninteresting or blaze' so it made him want to pursue you even more. :o

[Erzengel]

I agree though, I need to concentrate on my marriage more.... maybe tonight, since she works, when she gets home, I'll have the house all clean, have some cnadles lit with a nice bottle of wine... and we can just cuddle on the ground and watch a movie...
I hope things works out. You can try bonus points by getting a movie she likes, but let's not try and overdo it. :o

[BillyZaned]

I hope things works out. You can try bonus points by getting a movie she likes, but let's not try and overdo it. :o

yeah mean I can't put in "Heat"

[Ace of Knaves]

Hats off to you, man. I just came out of a 2-year relationship a little while ago, and one of the [many] reasons I left it was because I was growing weary with being with one girl for too long. I do want to possibly get married in like... Ten years, but I seem to have commitment problems (when I actually get into a relationship to begin with). Congrats to you- I dunno if I'd ever be able to do that.

Thanks man :D

Yea it's been one hell of a ride alright, ups and downs, the usual cliche stuff :funny:

But yea I suppose the good thing is, we both know where we stand when it comes to marriage and kids. So there's no real added pressure or anything. Neither of us want to go that route just yet.

[Anita18]

I'm also a firm believer in playing hard to get. So maybe you being "introverted" you came off as uninteresting or blaze' so it made him want to pursue you even more. :o
Well he's even more introverted than me, so I dunno. He came off pretty boring and aloof at first. Heck, he's STILL boring when we talk online or on the phone. :funny: (We've stopped talking on the phone, that's how useless it is.)

And I really am introverted, in the "it's hard to get me away from the computer desk" sort of way. :funny: I'm perfectly fine with it, usually. At least my bf gets me out of the house and be spontaneous.

[katie_girl09]

Thanks :D

Well we proper got together when we was 17. So 6 years! ****, that is a long time! Had rocky patches though, but I suppose all relationships do. Had a bit of a on/off thing going for a year or so a couple years back, but we sorted it out.
Six years is a really long time. Especially since you got together so young! I know this one couple that is around my age and they have been together since the 7th grade. Seriously.

[Erzengel]

Just don't put in pornography.....or do..... :up:

[BillyZaned]

Just don't put in pornography.....or do..... :up:

anal blasters 9?

[Erzengel]

Anal Blasters 9 doesn't measure up to 5 or 6. :down

Such a lack of a character development with a plot so predictable it make Boll blush.

[BillyZaned]

Anal Blasters 9 doesn't measure up to 5 or 6. :down

Such a lack of a character development with a plot so predictable it make Boll blush.

true... I honestly think they peaked at part 3... I mean, the camera work in that one has yet to be topped...

[E-Man]

Screw Anal Blasters period! Back Door ****s 9 is where it's at.

[BillyZaned]

Spear in the rear was a nice franchise while it lasted....

[katie_girl09]

...

:dry:

[E-Man]

Please don't stab me Katie! *cowers in fear*

[BillyZaned]

Please don't stab me Katie! *cowers in fear*

she will spear you in the rear

[katie_girl09]

:bh:

[Anita18]

:lmao:

[Anita18]

:lmao:

[uchiha_itachi]

Ask her, "If you're not seeing anybody else, may I take you out to see a movie or something?"

clever...simple...why didnt i think of tht lol

[uchiha_itachi]

and wow this thread turned in the few hours i was away lol

[LouFerignoDemon]

clever...simple...why didnt i think of tht lol


lol It's all about experience.

And understanding the opponent. ;)

It lets her know your full intentions, grateful and polite nature, and asks the question all at one time.

[uchiha_itachi]

yeah i like that. Whenever i ask a girl out im always worried im to..i dunno the word, pushy? pressuring? or somthing...i dont think i have been before but i worry bout tht. Asking a girl out like that though covers all the bases and keeps it casual.

I also love how you called them the "opponent" lol

[LouFerignoDemon]

lol It's like any other game of strategy. The moment you consider them an opponent, you put on your A-game. ;)

[uchiha_itachi]

I like this. alot.:awesome:

[E-Man]

I think that I've learned in the past few days that Mistress Gluon is sexy samurai from another planet that owns slaves and loves lotion. :awesome:

[TLH]

Okay, I need some advice here...

There's a cute girl on my bus to/from the University almost everyday. She's a complete stranger. I definitely want to meet her, but don't know how to go about it. My first thought is to start a conversation about something about her (i.e., ask her if she likes her iPod because I'm thinking about getting one). If the conversation doesn't take, though, I'd kind of miss the opportunity to work towards the "asking out" part...

The other idea I had was a bit more clever/original/impactful but also more risky. I'd tell her she dropped a sheet of paper (which she didn't) on which I had written "you're cute"...and on the next bus ride she could initiate a conversation over it...so this puts the ball in her court (good and bad). If this idea doesn't pan out, starting a conversation would be pretty much impossible.

I'm open to other ideas.

Thanks

[uchiha_itachi]

forget the paper idea unless ur 15.

go up to her and say somthing like aint it funny how where always on the same bus almost everyday yet i dont even know your name? and go from there. be confident and tht might even come off as charming.

[LouFerignoDemon]

I think that I've learned in the past few days that Mistress Gluon is sexy samurai from another planet that owns slaves and loves lotion. :awesome:
:awesome: I'm much more associated with rapiers over katanas.
Okay, I need some advice here...

There's a cute girl on my bus to/from the University almost everyday. She's a complete stranger. I definitely want to meet her, but don't know how to go about it. My first thought is to start a conversation about something about her (i.e., ask her if she likes her iPod because I'm thinking about getting one). If the conversation doesn't take, though, I'd kind of miss the opportunity to work towards the "asking out" part...

The other idea I had was a bit more clever/original/impactful but also more risky. I'd tell her she dropped a sheet of paper (which she didn't) on which I had written "you're cute"...and on the next bus ride she could initiate a conversation over it...so this puts the ball in her court (good and bad). If this idea doesn't pan out, starting a conversation would be pretty much impossible.

I'm open to other ideas.

Thanks
Yeah, no paper thing.

Do talk about the iPod though.

Position yourself closer to her, and sorta look over at it, and she -might- notice you.

When she asks (if she does), reply then you're thinking about an iPod, and wanted to see one in action. If she doesn't ask, then just ask her about the iPod in action.

But yeah, confidence. No stumbling. Stumble, and I'll cut you at the knee. :o

[AndThePickles]

Okay, I need some advice here...

There's a cute girl on my bus to/from the University almost everyday. She's a complete stranger. I definitely want to meet her, but don't know how to go about it. My first thought is to start a conversation about something about her (i.e., ask her if she likes her iPod because I'm thinking about getting one). If the conversation doesn't take, though, I'd kind of miss the opportunity to work towards the "asking out" part...

The other idea I had was a bit more clever/original/impactful but also more risky. I'd tell her she dropped a sheet of paper (which she didn't) on which I had written "you're cute"...and on the next bus ride she could initiate a conversation over it...so this puts the ball in her court (good and bad). If this idea doesn't pan out, starting a conversation would be pretty much impossible.

I'm open to other ideas.

Thanks

The iPod idea would be ok.

Absolutely no to the paper thing...it makes me embarrassed just reading it, sorry :csad:

Don't overthink it. Just go up to her and say hello, and start up a conversation.

[Hound55]

The "friend zone". The scourge of all mankind. Everyone has been within it's grasp. :(

I beat the "friend zone" though, so har har hardy ****ing har!!!

You're one of the people they'll let into the underground bunker if there's a massive asteroid going to collide into the Earth.

Man with a clipboard by the entrance to the bunker: "Alright... Scientists, attractive women, leading politicians, prime athletes/examples of our greatest physical prowess, Steve Buscemi..."

AoK: "Hey... hey... you've gotta let me in!"

Clipboard guy: "Who are you?"

AoK: "I managed to beat the friend zone!"

Clipboard guy: "Holy s###! Batman? We could use a man of your resourcefulness! Get your ass in there!"

*AoK begins climbing down the ladder*

Clipboard guy yelling down the ladder: "OH! AND BRUCE, YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME!!"

[Master Chief]

The Ladder Theory will always be my favoritest foolproof relationship theory because it's awesome to draw. :o

[TLH]

forget the paper idea unless ur 15. .

Funny you should say this because the only reason I was even considering it is because it worked back in high school once. :doh:

[SsM]

Oh my, the paper thing sounds terrible..

[LouFerignoDemon]

You pull the paper thing, and I will bust your knees. I will hunt you down, any way, any how, no matter the time limit, and bust your knees.

[AndThePickles]

I'm pretty sure the girl will be the one busting her knees after she starts walking to University to avoid being on the same bus as him :csad:

[LouFerignoDemon]

I don't care what she does.

That's his incentive not to pull the paper trick.

And if his knees -are- busted before I get there.

I'll bust something else.

[SsM]

You pull the paper thing, and I will bust your knees. I will hunt you down, any way, any how, no matter the time limit, and bust your knees.


God, but what if he does it.. and it WORKS?!

Hunt HER down...

[LouFerignoDemon]

No.

I'll still hunt him down. And make her watch while tied to a chair.

[enterthemadness]

You sound exactly like a female poster on another forum I go to, at least in that defeatist attitude. We were talking about crazy wedding planning, and she was bemoaning how her boss's preteen daughter would get married before she did. :funny: I think she's a bit old for you though, I think she's in her 30s.


Or maybe she liked the attention. It's affirmation that she's still hot.


Or, you could do OKCupid or Plenty of Fish, which are free, and there's proof that it works.


Sometimes it can. I didn't feel a spark with my bf at all when I first met him, I actually sorta tried to annoy him several times early on. :o He even moved back up to the Bay Area for a few months and at that time I thought, "Okay, I'll never see him again" but then he moved back down and since I had nothing else better to do I kept seeing him because he was nice. :funny: He kept on coming back! And he wasn't really as aloof as he first came off either, so here we are. :funny:

I've heard of plenty of fish...at enotalone boards. Plenty of fish sounds....:word:...Fishy.

[omid17]

my reaction to the paper idea

http://www.gifbin.com/bin/320swyu40407.gif (http://www.gifbin.com/981407)

[LouFerignoDemon]

Smells fishy too.

And you know what they say: If it smells like fish, don't eat the dish. :o

[enterthemadness]

You're one of the people they'll let into the underground bunker if there's a massive asteroid going to collide into the Earth.

Man with a clipboard by the entrance to the bunker: "Alright... Scientists, attractive women, leading politicians, prime athletes/examples of our greatest physical prowess, Steve Buscemi..."

AoK: "Hey... hey... you've gotta let me in!"

Clipboard guy: "Who are you?"

AoK: "I managed to beat the friend zone!"

Clipboard guy: "Holy s###! Batman? We could use a man of your resourcefulness! Get your ass in there!"

*AoK begins climbing down the ladder*

Clipboard guy yelling down the ladder: "OH! AND BRUCE, YOUR SECRET'S SAFE WITH ME!!"

That is just awesome.

[enterthemadness]

Smells fishy too.

And you know what they say: If it smells like fish, don't eat the dish. :o

I see there's a upgrade feature there. That means no free? Like is it free to talk to people there? Like all free 110%?

[LouFerignoDemon]

I 'unno. I was making a reference to an STD.

[enterthemadness]

I 'unno. I was making a reference to an STD.


:awesome: STD jokes?

[LouFerignoDemon]

Yep. :awesome:

[enterthemadness]

Yep. :awesome:

Both ways? :awesome:

Straight to DVD and Sex Transmit Disease?

[LouFerignoDemon]

Generally movies that go STD end you up in situations with STD's. :awesome:

[enterthemadness]

Generally movies that go STD end you up in situations with STD's. :awesome:

Like Slater and Cuba Gooding Jr in Lies and Illusions? :awesome:

Lies = No, no STD.
Illusions= You believe that, but clearly the woman has been with at least 20 football teams :awesome:

[LouFerignoDemon]

Oui. :awesome:

[enterthemadness]

Oui. :awesome:

No speak Spanish :awesome:

[LouFerignoDemon]

Spanish is okay. French is the bestest. And it sounds so much more alluring, so I hear.

[amazingfantasy15]

Okay, I need some advice here...

There's a cute girl on my bus to/from the University almost everyday. She's a complete stranger. I definitely want to meet her, but don't know how to go about it. My first thought is to start a conversation about something about her (i.e., ask her if she likes her iPod because I'm thinking about getting one). If the conversation doesn't take, though, I'd kind of miss the opportunity to work towards the "asking out" part...

The other idea I had was a bit more clever/original/impactful but also more risky. I'd tell her she dropped a sheet of paper (which she didn't) on which I had written "you're cute"...and on the next bus ride she could initiate a conversation over it...so this puts the ball in her court (good and bad). If this idea doesn't pan out, starting a conversation would be pretty much impossible.

I'm open to other ideas.

Thanks

Both ideas sound pretty bad too me, who doesn't know about iPods at this point? Do you know if she goes to the school as well? Is she carrying a bookbag? Ask about her major or her classes or something. The iPod thing just seems like it won't be an open enough question, gotta get her talking.

[LouFerignoDemon]

I don't know much about an iPod, and I help operate the world's most advanced X-Ray machine. :dry:

[enterthemadness]

Spanish is okay. French is the bestest. And it sounds so much more alluring, so I hear.


You stopped with the :awesome:. :awesome:

I wanna learn French. :o so I can curse people out with a smile on my face...and they don't know it.

[Hound55]

Its more fun when you can do it and they're not certain of whether or not you are insulting them... and they can see that you don't care if they are insulted.

Why yes, I have had my arse kicked several times in real life... Why do you ask..?

[enterthemadness]

Its more fun when you can do it and they're not certain of whether or not you are insulting them... and they can see that you don't care if they are insulted.

Why yes, I have had my arse kicked several times in real life... Why do you ask..?

Arse? You = English?

[LouFerignoDemon]

You stopped with the :awesome:. :awesome:

I wanna learn French. :o so I can curse people out with a smile on my face...and they don't know it.
:awesome::awesome::awesome::awesome::awesome::awes ome:
Its more fun when you can do it and they're not certain of whether or not you are insulting them... and they can see that you don't care if they are insulted.

Why yes, I have had my arse kicked several times in real life... Why do you ask..?
I like using English curse words, since it's not my first language. lol

[Hound55]

Australian... so close.

[Hobgoblin]

I had a date last month and it went well, until she asked why it took me 6 years to graduated from college. I told her I took a year off to "get my head on straight." She gave me a funny look but didnt say anything. I e-mailed her later telling her that I left school for a year because I'm manic depressive. I just didnt want her to think I was drinking every day or doing drugs or whatever.

Yeah.

She e-mailed back say that her last bf was also a manic depressive and she couldnt go through that again.

Question: How long into a relationship should you tell someone something like that? Some people told me that I needed to establish trust first. I thought she would by upset if I had kept something like that from her.



I like using English curse words, since it's not my first language. lol

Where are you from?

[LouFerignoDemon]

You might not wanna make that first, or even second date material.

When the history stuff comes up, let it bubble up as it comes across.

Let your personality shine through, and help establish the basis.

I hate it when a guy sorta comes off in my first few dates as, "Hiya, I have an anger issue."

[enterthemadness]

Australian... so close.

Not really.

I had a date last month and it went well, until she asked why it took me 6 years to graduated from college. I told her I took a year off to "get my head on straight." She gave me a funny look but didnt say anything. I e-mailed her later telling her that I left school for a year because I'm manic depressive. I just didnt want her to think I was drinking every day or doing drugs or whatever.

Yeah.

She e-mailed back say that her last bf was also a manic depressive and she couldnt go through that again.

Question: How long into a relationship should you tell someone something like that? Some people told me that I needed to establish trust first. I thought she would by upset if I had kept something like that from her.

Well, you fumbled there.

[Hobgoblin]

Well, you fumbled there.
Really? But my plan worked so well. :huh:








:oldrazz:

[Hound55]

Playing rugby in Adelaide (where its not the most mainstream of sports) you get exposed to a lot of different nationalities and dialects. Islanders, kiwis, Poms, Scots, Irish, Welsh, Yarpies...

I love cursing in Afrikaans although I know virtually none... Growling out a "fikkenkop" in a ruck sounds very frickin' aggressive, and as such effective.

For those playing at home, that would be f***-head.

[Anita18]

I see there's a upgrade feature there. That means no free? Like is it free to talk to people there? Like all free 110%?
I think paid subscription means no ads, and that you're a "serious user." :oldrazz: PoF is blocked at work, but Wikipedia says it's still free to use.

Spanish is okay. French is the bestest. And it sounds so much more alluring, so I hear.
So you hear? Pity. The postdoc moved here from Paris. :word: The accent is :awesome:.

Which also a pity. From Paris to an LA suburb. :funny:

I had a date last month and it went well, until she asked why it took me 6 years to graduated from college. I told her I took a year off to "get my head on straight." She gave me a funny look but didnt say anything. I e-mailed her later telling her that I left school for a year because I'm manic depressive. I just didnt want her to think I was drinking every day or doing drugs or whatever.

Yeah.

She e-mailed back say that her last bf was also a manic depressive and she couldnt go through that again.

Question: How long into a relationship should you tell someone something like that? Some people told me that I needed to establish trust first. I thought she would by upset if I had kept something like that from her.
I think so too, especially if she knew she couldn't handle a manic-depressive bf again. I think it was for the best. At least it was only one date so there wasn't a lot of emotional baggage involved.

[LouFerignoDemon]

The way I feel about Paris? The LA suburb was a freaking upgrade.

I hate paris. It smells and feels like s***. :down:

[Anita18]

The way I feel about Paris? The LA suburb was a freaking upgrade.

I hate paris. It smells and feels like s***. :down:
:funny: I thought Paris was nice. I liked the tiny villages SO much better though. So cute.

And London is just like NYC, except with more fog and old buildings. Wasn't that impressed. :oldrazz:

[LouFerignoDemon]

lol Paris is so...much. And by much, I mean caterers. They're like the meaner French. Especially when you hail from Marseille, you don't feel big love for your corrupted bigger sister. However, the villages and towns are just lovely, and generally very friendly. Though, a bit critical if you don't speak French. Then you get the, "Get lost," from them.

[Cunning Stunts]

Well ****, when you said, "I thought you were talking about me," I didn't think hard enough to figure out that you were French.

Maybe you were that girl. :dry:

[Anita18]

lol Paris is so...much. And by much, I mean caterers. They're like the meaner French. Especially when you hail from Marseille, you don't feel big love for your corrupted bigger sister. However, the villages and towns are just lovely, and generally very friendly. Though, a bit critical if you don't speak French. Then you get the, "Get lost," from them.
We went with a big tour group, but usually the villagers were very friendly if you at least tried to speak French. (I had had the most training, with a month of French in middle school 3 years before, and some last-minute cramming at the airport. :funny: )

I think it was just hilarious when we tried to get a postage stamp to send postcards, though. After much failed French, hand-waving and pointing at things with the cashier lady, we finally realized that she was asking which country, because different countries require differently priced stamps. :lmao:

[LouFerignoDemon]

lol I doubt it. Unless you liked em...young. Though I -have- taken a few classes here in America. I was known for taking numbers from guys because I felt it related to classwork, not picking up on the obvious hitting on me.

[enterthemadness]

I think paid subscription means no ads, and that you're a "serious user." :oldrazz: PoF is blocked at work, but Wikipedia says it's still free to use.


So you hear? Pity. The postdoc moved here from Paris. :word: The accent is :awesome:.

Which also a pity. From Paris to an LA suburb. :funny:


I think so too, especially if she knew she couldn't handle a manic-depressive bf again. I think it was for the best. At least it was only one date so there wasn't a lot of emotional baggage involved.

Could have sworn that said 'serious loser' the first few times I read it. :o

OKCupid has no register page...unless if I google OKCupid register. The home page for OKCupid seems broken...or I = stupid.

[omid17]

I had a date last month and it went well, until she asked why it took me 6 years to graduated from college. I told her I took a year off to "get my head on straight." She gave me a funny look but didnt say anything. I e-mailed her later telling her that I left school for a year because I'm manic depressive. I just didnt want her to think I was drinking every day or doing drugs or whatever.

Yeah.

She e-mailed back say that her last bf was also a manic depressive and she couldnt go through that again.

Question: How long into a relationship should you tell someone something like that? Some people told me that I needed to establish trust first. I thought she would by upset if I had kept something like that from her.


i think most chicks tend to "freak out" when they hear stuff like that early on, and get turned off without even knowing much about you, so it always good to wait a while. You were being honest which is a good thing, but i say wait for about a few weeks to bring that up, cause if everything is going well between the two of you, bringing up your disorder shouldn't bother her, and if anything she should appreciate your honesty :up:

[Shuley]

Question: How long into a relationship should you tell someone something like that? Some people told me that I needed to establish trust first. I thought she would by upset if I had kept something like that from her.

It's really none of her business.

[Ace of Knaves]

:funny: I thought Paris was nice. I liked the tiny villages SO much better though. So cute.

And London is just like NYC, except with more fog and old buildings. Wasn't that impressed. :oldrazz:

London is indeed a **** hole.

But there are some nice parts, suppose like everywhere. Very diverse culture in London.

[Erzengel]

I know it's not even in the same league as being manic depressive but I always use to joke how I never brought up video games, comics, toys on a first date. And it wasn't because I was ashamed, but you like to put your best foot forward and bringing up who really could win in a fight between Batman and Superman may not be best first date discussion.

However on the other side, I know a girl who has Herpes and this is why I'm so happy not to be single because she was dating this guy and inevitably she has to come clean and tell him. But when she finally told him, he was like, oh yeah me too.

:dry:

Question: How long into a relationship should you tell someone something like that? Some people told me that I needed to establish trust first. I thought she would by upset if I had kept something like that from her.

It's really none of her business.

Really? Dating someone who's bi-polar is not the easiest thing in the world and while like I said, it probably shouldn't be brought up on the first date, but it's something if they started dating exclusively he would have to tell her because it would become her business. :huh:

[Hound55]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I prefer it when the craziest thing about my potential partner is that they decided to go out with me...

[BillyZaned]

I had a date last month and it went well, until she asked why it took me 6 years to graduated from college. I told her I took a year off to "get my head on straight." She gave me a funny look but didnt say anything. I e-mailed her later telling her that I left school for a year because I'm manic depressive. I just didnt want her to think I was drinking every day or doing drugs or whatever.

Yeah.

She e-mailed back say that her last bf was also a manic depressive and she couldnt go through that again.

Question: How long into a relationship should you tell someone something like that? Some people told me that I needed to establish trust first. I thought she would by upset if I had kept something like that from her.



Where are you from?


you don't lay the "Manic Depressive" line on her untill teh 3rd date my man.... everyone knows that... they even brought that up in Swingers....

[BillyZaned]

I had a good night last night.... we drank a bottle of red wine, and just chilled.... got naked, made a little makeshift bed on the floor the family room... and did it... twice....

she really likes wine.... nice

[Hound55]

Worst pick-up lines by my own experience:

Is it hot in here or have I just got a massive erection?

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

I admire a girl who'll go out wearing that kind of thing in public knowing that all clothes look the same strewn all over my bedroom floor...

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

So apparently I need to cut out my wanna be internet pimping, because eventually trying to make emotional girls with no self confidence feel good about themselves over Facebook is gonna come back to bite me in the ass, I can feel it.

****, really? Is this what it's come to for me? :doh::doh::doh:
:wow:
:csad::csad::csad:

[Hobgoblin]

you don't lay the "Manic Depressive" line on her untill teh 3rd date my man.... everyone knows that... they even brought that up in Swingers....

I never saw Swingers. :o

[BillyZaned]

I never saw Swingers. :o

I dated this girl named Nikki for two weeks in college.... she had those gorious DS Lips... seriously, her face was like that of Jessica Alba.... she didn't have the body, but her face was gorgious... she had big boobs, and a butt that was too big... but, the face did it for me.... at first she was nice... but, on our second date, I saw the inside of her purse.... she had a pill container that litterlay had twenty pills in it for ONE DAY!! I didn't say or ask any questions... but I found out from a mutula friend that she had sevre bi-polor disorder and was addicted to pain pills....

I broke it off with her, stating "I like you as a friend, not as a GF", and she flipped at me... started making accustations of my sexuality, and started rumors that I had a small dick, even though she never saw it, lol.... she would then later text me saying "stop talking about me all the time", even though I never did... she was delusional....

crazy girls

[BillyZaned]

I later ran into her when my fiance was pregnant.... she worked at Target... we tried retunring a baby shower gift... she wouldn't do it... so I went to another traget, complained to the store manager about her, I guess she got fired...

she then started hanging with my younger sister... yeah, drama drama drama... luckily my sister saw her for the nut she was, and changed her cell number

[Erzengel]

I never saw Swingers. :o
Correct me if I'm wrong but I remember a thread, tried looking for it but I can't remember what it was called, but in there several posters stated how they were single by choice which I'm not judging but I thought I remember you being in that thread, have things changed for you?

[Anita18]

However on the other side, I know a girl who has Herpes and this is why I'm so happy not to be single because she was dating this guy and inevitably she has to come clean and tell him. But when she finally told him, he was like, oh yeah me too.

:dry:
That reminds me of Rent, where the two gay guys hit it off within 10 seconds of meeting each other because they both admit they have AIDS right off the bat. And then the hetero couple have weeks and weeks of drama because they each don't want to tell the other they have AIDS. :funny:

but, on our second date, I saw the inside of her purse.... she had a pill container that litterlay had twenty pills in it for ONE DAY!! I didn't say or ask any questions... but I found out from a mutula friend that she had sevre bi-polor disorder and was addicted to pain pills....
My roommate in freshman year of college took a lot of pills, but it wasn't for medical reasons. It was all nutritional supplements like vitamins and fish oil and God knows what else. (I know, I snooped in her medicine cabinet once. :o ) She even had a list of which ones to take at which meal and yes, there were about 20 pills she took each day.

She claimed she "went to a nutritionist" and apparently he prescribed more pills for her than food. I'm not sure if that's less or more frightening than being addicted to prescriptions. :funny: She was very pretty and very smart (eventually became our school's valedictorian), but very regimented and a bit OCD.

[Hound55]

Worst pick-up lines by my own experience:

Is it hot in here or have I just got a massive erection?

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again...

I admire a girl who'll go out wearing that kind of thing in public knowing that all clothes look the same strewn all over my bedroom floor...
Although "Hi, I'm Matt, so how's everything going over here?" has proven to be roughly as ineffective...

[amazingfantasy15]

I had a date last month and it went well, until she asked why it took me 6 years to graduated from college. I told her I took a year off to "get my head on straight." She gave me a funny look but didnt say anything. I e-mailed her later telling her that I left school for a year because I'm manic depressive. I just didnt want her to think I was drinking every day or doing drugs or whatever.

Yeah.

She e-mailed back say that her last bf was also a manic depressive and she couldnt go through that again.

Question: How long into a relationship should you tell someone something like that? Some people told me that I needed to establish trust first. I thought she would by upset if I had kept something like that from her.

Where are you from?

Telling her over email probably wasn't the smartest thing. Also, do you have your condition under control? If you do then you don't need to reveal that so early. A lot of people leave college for a variety of reasons, on the date you could have just said you were having medical issues.

You should probably keep the follow up emails to first dates limited to "I had a great time last night". Leave the psychological conditions out.

[Cunning Stunts]

It's also not a great idea to reveal that soon after meeting someone. That's something you bring up later on, once you two are settled with each other and have been dating for a while- perhaps a couple of months. That way, she's been with you for a while and sees that you're (hopefully) not the same manic depressive her ex was.

[TheBlueRogue]

Just a copy and past from the confession thread...

Don't worry I wont kill myself or anything, its just I have no idea how to deal with it. I FINALLY meet someone whom I freaking adore have sooo much passion towards and she feels the same I mean holy crap!.:woot: But today day before we go on a date (http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=206555&page=70#) she tells me shes not really looking foward to a relationship because were is at in life she would prefer an open one.

I'm hurt now yeah and pissed off because ive got soo many things on my plate to deal that this was just the straw that broke the camels back.:csad:

[Erzengel]

When sorrows come - they come not single spies - but in battalions.

I mean it could be worse, you could have invested more time and effort into a relationship with her and it didn't worked out. I know what's it's liked clicking with someone and things didn't work out.

It happens. Best to just dust yourself off and move on to the next person. I know it sounds trite but maybe it is for the best. Maybe she's a crazy. :o

[BillyZaned]

Just a copy and past from the confession thread...

Don't worry I wont kill myself or anything, its just I have no idea how to deal with it. I FINALLY meet someone whom I freaking adore have sooo much passion towards and she feels the same I mean holy crap!.:woot: But today day before we go on a date (http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=206555&page=70#) she tells me shes not really looking foward to a relationship because were is at in life she would prefer an open one.

I'm hurt now yeah and pissed off because ive got soo many things on my plate to deal that this was just the straw that broke the camels back.:csad:

dude... been there before.... you have to play it off cool.

be like "I feel the same way, I don't want a relationship that's going to tie me down"....

then just take it slow... because if you go and act like you can't do that, she's gone, or put preasure on her, she's gone... play it cool

[omid17]

When sorrows come - they come not single spies - but in battalions.

I mean it could be worse, you could have invested more time and effort into a relationship with her and it didn't worked out. I know what's it's liked clicking with someone and things didn't work out.

It happens. Best to just dust yourself off and move on to the next person. I know it sounds trite but maybe it is for the best. Maybe she's a crazy. :o:up:

[Anita18]

Just a copy and past from the confession thread...

Don't worry I wont kill myself or anything, its just I have no idea how to deal with it. I FINALLY meet someone whom I freaking adore have sooo much passion towards and she feels the same I mean holy crap!.:woot: But today day before we go on a date (http://forums.superherohype.com/showthread.php?t=206555&page=70#) she tells me shes not really looking foward to a relationship because were is at in life she would prefer an open one.

I'm hurt now yeah and pissed off because ive got soo many things on my plate to deal that this was just the straw that broke the camels back.:csad:
Sounds kind of like this. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1022603/) :o

I agree with Billy Zaned not to put too much pressure on a potential relationship. If you enjoy being with her, then don't think too hard about it. Maybe something serious will develop, maybe not. But try to live in the moment.

Or if you know that you wouldn't be able to handle knowing she might leave in a moment's notice, then I agree with Erzengel. :oldrazz: It's really up to you and what you want to get out of it.

[TheBlueRogue]

Yeah I've had experience with heartaches before and I am trying to play it off cool but it just hurts because of all the personal things im going through. THIS was a refreshing breath of air, made me forget about alot of things and actually kept me in in a great mood. When it comes down to it I'm just very hurt and for some reason took it very personally.

[Erzengel]

Thing is.....regardless of how wonderful a person is, they really shouldn't be "your salvation" from your problems. Yes we all have problems to varying degrees but dating someone shouldn't be an escape from said problems because it's not like they could make them go away.

[BillyZaned]

you can't say she's crazy... she might have alot going on in her life, and adding someone too it, in magnitude of a boyfriend, might be a dangerious thing.

But, if he respects that, and just continues seeing her, then there's a opening for a relationship down the line... maybe soon, maybe later

Point of example. This girl I met at a party, she was pretty, and funny. we got to talking and she was telling me about her crazy ex boyfreind, and how she's sick of relationships, and just wants to enjoy single life for awhile... while, at the time, I was open for a relationship, I understood where she was at... I got her number so we could hang out in the future..

two days later she called me, and wanted to see a movie with me... me did that and grabbed a bite to eat.... I put no preasure on her or anything

we did stuff together for the next couple months, untill we went out to diner together... we both had alot to drink, and she made a move at me, and I said "I really like you alot, but I don't want you to put yourself in a position that you don't want to be in"... she asked what I meant... and i told her about how she told me about her "ant-relationship stance she told me about when we met".. I told her that I'm not the type of guy who sleeps around anymore with friends because it adds to much un-needed stress....

she liked that I was open about it, and that I respected her... but she told me "you know, you seem like a different type of guy, one that I could date, and be in a relationship with, and it won't add any unwanted burdens that many of my past relationship brought with them".....

so, we slowly started "dating"... then, she asked me one day to meet her parents.... so I went with her, and she introduced me as her Boyfriend.... later that night I asked her if she considered us officialy together... and she asked "what do you think, or want"... I told her that I thought she's a great person, and would like to be in a relationship with her and be an item, but we both have to be onboard with it.... we both aggreed...

time went on... and she then told me how much she loved me..... 6 months later, she purposed to me...

we have been together for 5 year, and married now for almost a month

[TheBlueRogue]

UPDATE, so I found out why she dislikes relationships......seems like I might have a shot with this woman but I agree I will be cool about it. I won't do anything reckless.

[Anita18]

Thing is.....regardless of how wonderful a person is, they really shouldn't be "your salvation" from your problems. Yes we all have problems to varying degrees but dating someone shouldn't be an escape from said problems because it's not like they could make them go away.
Definitely agree. It took me a while to figure out, but you are responsible for your own happiness and self-esteem. It's not fair to put that pressure on someone else. Yes, they can support you and make your life more well-rounded, but you and you alone are responsible for your happiness.

And if just being around someone can make you happy, there's no need to put pressure on a potential serious relationship. A true friend can do that too.

I guess the thing is that when someone says they don't want anything serious right now, it has no reflection on you personally. Don't forget, the other person may have some baggage too.

[BillyZaned]

the thing is... unless she is telling you she wants to sleep around... I see what she is saying as a good sign.... she obviously wants a handle on her life right now, and she most likely has a good head on her shoulders....

she probably is baiting you a little bit.. seeing if your boyfriend material... she probably doesn't want to date a guy who is obssesed with getting into a relationship.... if you respect her wishes, it says alot about you as a person... plus, taking it slow never hurt anytone, and jumping into a relationship after one or two dates, most of the time, isn't good... you need to walk before you can run... you need to be friends before you can become an item... the best relationships and marriages happen when two people have a stronger bond then just sexual... you need that underlying aspect of friendship

[Erzengel]

Also, the whole "dating" process is a way to weed out people and kinda measure them up against your interests, what you look for in someone, etc. Take your time and get to know her, don't rush into anything and don't try and invest too much too soon. You kinda fell to pieces when she said she didn't want to get into a relationship and that's without even being on a date with her.

[TheBlueRogue]

you can't say she's crazy... she might have alot going on in her life, and adding someone too it, in magnitude of a boyfriend, might be a dangerious thing.

But, if he respects that, and just continues seeing her, then there's a opening for a relationship down the line... maybe soon, maybe later

Point of example. This girl I met at a party, she was pretty, and funny. we got to talking and she was telling me about her crazy ex boyfreind, and how she's sick of relationships, and just wants to enjoy single life for awhile... while, at the time, I was open for a relationship, I understood where she was at... I got her number so we could hang out in the future..

two days later she called me, and wanted to see a movie with me... me did that and grabbed a bite to eat.... I put no preasure on her or anything

we did stuff together for the next couple months, untill we went out to diner together... we both had alot to drink, and she made a move at me, and I said "I really like you alot, but I don't want you to put yourself in a position that you don't want to be in"... she asked what I meant... and i told her about how she told me about her "ant-relationship stance she told me about when we met".. I told her that I'm not the type of guy who sleeps around anymore with friends because it adds to much un-needed stress....

she liked that I was open about it, and that I respected her... but she told me "you know, you seem like a different type of guy, one that I could date, and be in a relationship with, and it won't add any unwanted burdens that many of my past relationship brought with them".....

so, we slowly started "dating"... then, she asked me one day to meet her parents.... so I went with her, and she introduced me as her Boyfriend.... later that night I asked her if she considered us officialy together... and she asked "what do you think, or want"... I told her that I thought she's a great person, and would like to be in a relationship with her and be an item, but we both have to be onboard with it.... we both aggreed...

time went on... and she then told me how much she loved me..... 6 months later, she purposed to me...

we have been together for 5 year, and married now for almost a month


You know what man thanks you really opened my eyes on this, I'll reflect and think on it. I think...I'm feeling better already:yay:

[BillyZaned]

You know what man thanks you really opened my eyes on this, I'll reflect and think on it. I think...I'm feeling better already:yay:

care too shed some light on why she doesn't feel a relationship is right at this time?

[TheBlueRogue]

care too shed some light on why she doesn't feel a relationship is right at this time?

I am reading everything carefully and I will take those advice and follow them. Well she was raped, been in horrible relationships and does not like getting close to people because she is afraid of getting hurt. I'll admit she has her baggage but so do I. For now I'll be her friend.

[Erzengel]

Uh....see, you have to be so very careful there.

In short, you can't be a "friend" if you are harboring feelings for her. I mean if you generally want to be her friend, be her friend. If you are going to be her friend because you are awaiting around for her feelings to turn, then maybe you aren't being a good friend and you might be setting yourself up for heartbreak.

[BillyZaned]

I am reading everything carefully and I will take those advice and follow them. Well she was raped, been in horrible relationships and does not like getting close to people because she is afraid of getting hurt. I'll admit she has her baggage but so do I. For now I'll be her friend.

baggage? yeah, I would say so....

look at it from her point of view... she is attracted to men, but all she knows it hurt from them at this point... and if you push and push and push, her warning light will go off, and she will be gone.

I don't know you, so I'm going to assume your a good guy, so you need to show her that... and the only way to do that is by showing her respect and compasion... take it slow, be her friend (because you need that friendship as teh foundation if your going to be in a relationship)... and see what blooms. Will you date, maybe? But you will atleast gain a solid friendship out of it... and in todays age, that's a great thing to have...

[Anita18]

In light of BillyZaned's love story, I'm :funny: thinking how my best friend was so worried about me since I didn't know for sure if me and my bf were exclusive before I started getting intimate with him. The thing was that I didn't really care. :funny: But when I dated her friend way back in college, I was a jealous beeeyotch because my self-esteem was connected to my being in that relationship. I wanted to know everything he was doing when he wasn't with me, because if he didn't want to spend time with me, that was a reflection of me and how useless I was as a person. Lemme tell you, I thought I was pretty independent back then pre-relationship and turning into "that crazy gf" made me feel terrible.

When I started dating my current boyfriend, I really could have cared less what he did in his spare time. He's a morning person and I'm definitely not, so sometimes he'll go off by himself and go to Whole Foods or skateboard a little bit while I'm still asleep, and that's totally cool. We are two people who choose to be together, of our own accord. And I just like the idea of that better than one of us "snagging" the other or whatever.

And yeah, I actually had to ask him about our official status as well. :funny: It's just felt so natural I don't feel like my "status" has changed at all.

[BillyZaned]

Uh....see, you have to be so very careful there.

In short, you can't be a "friend" if you are harboring feelings for her. I mean if you generally want to be her friend, be her friend. If you are going to be her friend because you are awaiting around for her feelings to turn, then maybe you aren't being a good friend and you might be setting yourself up for heartbreak.

I hear what your saying.... but, you know that most males are friends with attractive females for that reason... does it make that relationship a sham... not really, just as long as her respects her, and cares for her.... he can want to be her boyfriend, but he needs to know that there's a good chance that won't happen, and he needs to accept that..... you can go into a friendship with the hope that it will blossom into more, that's fine.... but don't have that be the only reason.... and sometimes, most of the time, friendships at a young age are alot more rewarding then relationships... keep that in mind

[Erzengel]

I know but I can make the arguement there are guys out there who generally can have platonic relationships.

And I don't know BR, but the way he seemed so dejected after 1 date, seems like he really has invested a lot in this relationship already.

If he was going to be a friend to her, and you know, dated other girls, that's one thing. If he's focusing all his energies on her and waiting around for her, that's not really healthy.

[TheBlueRogue]

Erzengel: I do want to be her friend, I wont try to pursue a relationship anytime soon because I know thats impossible and im ok with it I wont let it tear me apart.


Billy: I am a good guy so to me it kind of frustrated me hearing all what she said but I symphatize(spelling?), I know the best thing to do right now is take things very slow and just only be her friend.

[TheBlueRogue]

I know but I can make the arguement there are guys out there who generally can have platonic relationships.

And I don't know BR, but the way he seemed so dejected after 1 date, seems like he really has invested a lot in this relationship already.

If he was going to be a friend to her, and you know, dated other girls, that's one thing. If he's focusing all his energies on her and waiting around for her, that's not really healthy.

Nah i wont do that, I'll only be her friend and not focus 100% of my energy on her. I wont make that mistake and i'm completely ok if it does not turn into a relationship not expecting it.

[BillyZaned]

I know but I can make the arguement there are guys out there who generally can have platonic relationships.

And I don't know BR, but the way he seemed so dejected after 1 date, seems like he really has invested a lot in this relationship already.

If he was going to be a friend to her, and you know, dated other girls, that's one thing. If he's focusing all his energies on her and waiting around for her, that's not really healthy.


no it's not healthy... it's very unhealthy infact.... both parties can't be like that... not even one.....

if both parties are dating because they need to be in a relationship.. they will overlook certian things that a key for a relationship to suceed, just to be in a relationship...

and if only one if like that... then its going to destroy it.... either by the one putting in all the energy giving up, or by the other one taking the otehr forgranted....

you both need to be invested, but need to give it time to grow... and if your already sweating over the fact that she's not ready to take you home to mom and dad after one date,.... you may need to be the one to back off, and get your head on straight....

Wanting to have a girlfriend is one thing.... needing it... that's a ingredient for diaster in almost every aspect of your life...

and I was like that for many year, right out of HS, I needed a GF... that's all I thought about... and when I met a girl i liked, I would ruin any chance of it by jumping in head first, and putting all my energy into it, when the other party, even if they were interested, wasn't putting forth the same energy....

[BillyZaned]

Erzengel: I do want to be her friend, I wont try to pursue a relationship anytime soon because I know thats impossible and im ok with it I wont let it tear me apart.


Billy: I am a good guy so to me it kind of frustrated me hearing all what she said but I symphatize(spelling?), I know the best thing to do right now is take things very slow and just only be her friend.


the key though is.... she doesn't know that.. and the guy who probably raped her, she probably thought he was a good guy at first too.....

and dont' be buying flowers or crap like that right away... or insisting on paying for things if she offers.... treat her like a friend

[TheBlueRogue]

Well at the time I didn't need or want a girlfriend, I just really liked her. But now I realize I have to just be her friend if it happens it happens if not then its not meant to be and move on right?

[Erzengel]

Nah i wont do that, I'll only be her friend and not focus 100% of my energy on her. I wont make that mistake and i'm completely ok if it does not turn into a relationship not expecting it.

Just make sure you practice what you preached.

And honestly, really make an effort to meet other people. Because if this girl is the only "girl" in your life, regardless of what your intentions are, you might find that feelings have developed even though you feel you went into this "okay" with just being friends.

[omid17]

Well at the time I didn't need or want a girlfriend, I just really liked her. But now I realize I have to just be her friend if it happens it happens if not then its not meant to be and move on right?:up:

[TheBlueRogue]

the key though is.... she doesn't know that.. and the guy who probably raped her, she probably thought he was a good guy at first too.....

and dont' be buying flowers or crap like that right away... or insisting on paying for things if she offers.... treat her like a friend

thanks I'll make sure to just treat her as a friend only.

[TheBlueRogue]

Just make sure you practice what you preached.

And honestly, really make an effort to meet other people. Because if this girl is the only "girl" in your life, regardless of what your intentions are, you might find that feelings have developed even though you feel you went into this "okay" with just being friends.

Thanks I'll try and just date around not take this situation too seriously.:yay:

[Anita18]

I am reading everything carefully and I will take those advice and follow them. Well she was raped, been in horrible relationships and does not like getting close to people because she is afraid of getting hurt. I'll admit she has her baggage but so do I. For now I'll be her friend.
Baggage? I'll say! :csad: Poor girl.

You can help prove to her that men can be nice, trustworthy people, but only if you're there for her because you truly care about her as a person, not just because she's hot and you want to get in her pants. That's probably what she's experienced before in the past.

And she'll have to do the rest of the job herself. Nobody can make someone "get over" something, it's really up to them.

And yeah, I know guys who can be good friends with girls platonically. I wonder how my ex's fiance will react at all of the girls he's invited to their wedding. Most of his friends from high school were girls, and he never dated any of them. :funny:

[BillyZaned]

Well at the time I didn't need or want a girlfriend, I just really liked her. But now I realize I have to just be her friend if it happens it happens if not then its not meant to be and move on right?

I'm hoping that's a typo...

You have to be just her friend, you say?

[TheBlueRogue]

I'm hoping that's a typo...

You have to be just her friend, you say?

Sorry kind of wrote that fast, what I meant to say it I will just be her friend and won't try to get into her pants. I'll just respect her and show not all guys are crazy bastards. I think thigns went too fast but oh well.

[BillyZaned]

Sorry kind of wrote that fast, what I meant to say it I will just be her friend and won't try to get into her pants. I'll just respect her and show not all guys are crazy bastards. I think thigns went too fast but oh well.

:doh:Dude

your making it sound like a bad thing

write this

Right now, I want to be her friend, and if something blossoms later, great, if not, I'll be happy just to have her in my life.

[TheBlueRogue]

:doh:Dude

your making it sound like a bad thing

write this

Right now, I want to be her friend, and if something blossoms later, great, if not, I'll be happy just to have her in my life.

Hehe yeah sorry that's what I've been trying to say but had a tough time wording it. I realy do have a tough time with relationships in general and my personal life does not make it any easier.

[BillyZaned]

Hehe yeah sorry that's what I've been trying to say but had a tough time wording it. I realy do have a tough time with relationships in general and my personal life does not make it any easier.

whats up with your personal life? And if it is overbarring on you... maybe a relationship right now, isn't the best idea

[amazingfantasy15]

I am reading everything carefully and I will take those advice and follow them. Well she was raped, been in horrible relationships and does not like getting close to people because she is afraid of getting hurt. I'll admit she has her baggage but so do I. For now I'll be her friend.

Wow, that horrible for her and sucks for you. If you genuinely like her as a person and want her as a friend, then I'd say keep hanging out with her. If you're hoping for a relationship down the line though, I'd honestly say, lose her number. You came into her life at a bad time, it sucks and obviously you didn't realize it, but at the same time things between you two will most likely never progress. I once tried to date a girl who, I didn't realize at the time, just broke up with her boyfriend about a week before us meeting, on our third date she mentioned she wasn't looking for a relationship, I thought I'd play it cool and wait it out, just be her friend. In the end, she started seeing someone else and I just stopped talking to her because I felt betrayed, wondering what made this guy someone she could date and me someone she couldn't. This could be what happens to you, you've gotta know you can handle that if it does, if you can't, lose her number now.

[BillyZaned]

^sometimes that happens, sometimes not.....

[TheBlueRogue]

Thanks I really appreciate all the feedback and I will follow all the advice. BZ I guess its my past relationships have been horrible, mom is going through chemo, uncles condition is getting worse he had ten surgeries in his stomach, a fathe whose too hard on me. But I wont be an emo about it, it's hard yes but im happy for the most part I mean how could I not life improves.

[BillyZaned]

the thing is man... is she worth it... if you think she is... be her friend and hope for the best, but be prepared that it might not happen.....

how can you have a chance, if you don't take one?

[BillyZaned]

Thanks I really appreciate all the feedback and I will follow all the advice. BZ I guess its my past relationships have been horrible, mom is going through chemo, uncles condition is getting worse he had ten surgeries in his stomach, a fathe whose too hard on me. But I wont be an emo about it, it's hard yes but im happy for the most part I mean how could I not life improves.

then you know what I would do... tell her that... tell her "I really like you, your a great girl, but I have ..... (your situation).... going on right now... so, in short, I agree with you... I'm not ready for a relationship but, I really want to be your friend. Your cool to hang out with and everything, so, no pressure"

[BillyZaned]

SHH server lag BS!!!!!

[TheBlueRogue]

I'll just be me and be a friend and if it might not happen...well the worlds full of women aint it? :)

[TheBlueRogue]

then you know what I would do... tell her that... tell her "I really like you, your a great girl, but I have ..... (your situation).... going on right now... so, in short, I agree with you... I'm not ready for a relationship but, I really want to be your friend. Your cool to hang out with and everything, so, no pressure"

Lmao just told her that.

[BillyZaned]

cool man. best of luck... it will all work out...

[Erzengel]

I'll just be me and be a friend and if it might not happen...well the worlds full of women aint it? :)
Just curious.

You were so upset at the prospect that she wasn't looking for a relationship.

You now know the reason but it hasn't changed her feelings on the matter, but your disposition seems more cheery now.

Just making sure you don't have a feeling of false hope now.

[BillyZaned]

Just curious.

You were so upset at the prospect that she wasn't looking for a relationship.

You now know the reason but it hasn't changed her feelings on the matter, but your disposition seems more cheery now.

Just making sure you don't have a feeling of false hope now.

yeah... I know he read my story, and how it turned from friends to marriage...

I also have a really big penis, so that helped out alot too:woot:

[TheBlueRogue]

Just curious.

You were so upset at the prospect that she wasn't looking for a relationship.

You now know the reason but it hasn't changed her feelings on the matter, but your disposition seems more cheery now.

Just making sure you don't have a feeling of false hope now.

Im cheery because I dont feel hurt anyone I guess im ok with the situation, I accept that theres a strong chance I wont be with her and im ok with it.:yay:

[BillyZaned]

you will find love when you least expect it....

[Shuley]

you will find love when you least expect it....

That's not true..sitting around waiting for someone to come along and it never happens...sitting in god's waiting room does nothing, you have to work at it.

[Erzengel]

While I don't think Billy was inferring that one sits on their hands waiting for opportunity, you do have to put yourself out there and date if you want to meet someone.

[Shuley]

And yeah, I actually had to ask him about our official status as well

Don't ask guys questions like "do you like me? Where do you think this relationship is going? It shows insecurities which is not attractive.

[Anita18]

And yeah, I actually had to ask him about our official status as well

Don't ask guys questions like "do you like me? Where do you think this relationship is going? It shows insecurities which is not attractive.
:funny: It wasn't anything like that. It was more like, "Well, do we call each other boyfriend and girlfriend now?" Like, when do you jump from "just dating" to "official" sort of thing.

And I assumed he liked me, if he was spending entire weekends with me and driving down to see me and stuff. :oldrazz: If he didn't, he's free to leave, that's how I see it.

[Shuley]

:funny: It wasn't anything like that. It was more like, "Well, do we call each other boyfriend and girlfriend now?" Like, when do you jump from "just dating" to "official" sort of thing.

And I assumed he liked me, if he was spending entire weekends with me and driving down to see me and stuff. :oldrazz: If he didn't, he's free to leave, that's how I see it.
He wouldn't be wasting his time if he didn't like you,besides what else would he be? when you start refering to you and him as "we" often then you know your a couple.

[Hobgoblin]

Correct me if I'm wrong but I remember a thread, tried looking for it but I can't remember what it was called, but in there several posters stated how they were single by choice which I'm not judging but I thought I remember you being in that thread, have things changed for you?

Its something that I go back and forth on. Since its so darn hard to find a woman that I have things in common with, I could be very happy being alone. Beth was one that I had things to say to and was actually interested in what she said, so I liked her.

Now that I'm back to square one, its like putting on a comfy old shirt. :yay:

[Erzengel]

If it was only as simple as smelling another's ass that we know we found the right one. :o

But, dating is hard.

[Tsunulia]

That's not true..sitting around waiting for someone to come along and it never happens...sitting in god's waiting room does nothing, you have to work at it.

While I don't think Billy was inferring that one sits on their hands waiting for opportunity, you do have to put yourself out there and date if you want to meet someone.

*quiet interjection*


That's exactly what I did for my life until my Love came along. We truly love each other. We couldn't be happier. I had never been on a date or anything before then. I'm proof that waiting can have a positive result.

[Shuley]

*quiet interjection*


That's exactly what I did for my life until my Love came along. We truly love each other. We couldn't be happier. I had never been on a date or anything before then. I'm proof that waiting can have a positive result.

Doesn't work for guys like it can for women, besides there is no reason why women can't approach men...Guys don't get the signals 99% of the time..nothing in a man's brain clicks "walk over here and talk to me" when a woman smiles at them. Women need to say "hey, you gonna come over here or just stand there"! yes call them out on it.

[Erzengel]

Agreed. Especially, take a routine guy in his mid 20s with a job. If he just goes to work and then goes home, how is he ever going to meet someone? What going to the store? Guys need to put themselves in a position to meet people.

[Shuley]

Agreed. Especially, take a routine guy in his mid 20s with a job. If he just goes to work and then goes home, how is he ever going to meet someone? What going to the store? Guys need to put themselves in a position to meet people.

Yes going to the store and talk to the customers... I see a girl I want to talk too, I walk over and ask about what she is doing...best way to open her up...If she has a box of cereal in her hands, say something like "Wow, How good are those Lucky Charms,I've never had them" If your in a video store say "OMG...your getting that?? it was awful, let's go find something you'll like alot better, then text me when your done watching it and let me know what you think" Say what you say with some passion behind it. Then shut up and listen to her!

[BillyZaned]

That's not true..sitting around waiting for someone to come along and it never happens...sitting in god's waiting room does nothing, you have to work at it.

where did I say that you should sit around, playing WOW, drinking code red while dreaming of the girl in apartment 406? (Refference???!!!)

If your going out, looking for a girlfriend, and that's all your obssessed with, it probably won't happen. Go out, be social, enjoy ones life... and eventually, that special someone will come in... you just need to keep yourself open...

[Shuley]

where did I say that you should sit around, playing WOW, drinking code red while dreaming of the girl in apartment 406? (Refference???!!!)

If your going out, looking for a girlfriend, and that's all your obssessed with, it probably won't happen. Go out, be social, enjoy ones life... and eventually, that special someone will come in... you just need to keep yourself open...
I didn't say people sitting in apt 406, playing WoW while dreaming of girls now did I? You filled in that blank yourself. I just said you have to work at it.

[Ahura Mazda]

I can tell you that when I was single I organised 'events' at my place. Things like wine tastings, movie viewings, poker games, etc. I met many new people and among those was the woman I asked to marry me.

[amazingfantasy15]

I can tell you that when I was single I organised 'events' at my place. Things like wine tastings, movie viewings, poker games, etc. I met many new people and among those was the woman I asked to marry me.

Yeah, this summer I played on a kickball team and did marathon training, just getting myself out there. Doing those things also makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, shows there's more in your life than just working then going home and sitting on your ass watching TV or playing video games. Shows you have other passions in life and really your own life, so if you do start dating your happiness isn't basically dependent on being with your significant other.

[Anita18]

Agreed. Especially, take a routine guy in his mid 20s with a job. If he just goes to work and then goes home, how is he ever going to meet someone? What going to the store? Guys need to put themselves in a position to meet people.
That's the life of an introverted girl too, ya know. :oldrazz:

That's why I think online dating worked for me. I'm rather unusual, so to say, and I can be pretty dense when it comes to male attention. :funny: So chatting with someone online was an easy way to break the ice without having to worry whether they were gonna follow me to my car or whatever.

Yeah, this summer I played on a kickball team and did marathon training, just getting myself out there. Doing those things also makes you more attractive to the opposite sex, shows there's more in your life than just working then going home and sitting on your ass watching TV or playing video games. Shows you have other passions in life and really your own life, so if you do start dating your happiness isn't basically dependent on being with your significant other.
Yup. :yay:

[BillyZaned]

I didn't say people sitting in apt 406, playing WoW while dreaming of girls now did I? You filled in that blank yourself. I just said you have to work at it.

i never said people living in 406... I said people fantasing about the girl in 406

[Erzengel]

Ever worked with an uptight person, or had a'hole of a friend and just thought, Wow, that person really needs to get laid to take the edge off of them?

[Honey Vibe]

Ever worked with an uptight person, or had a'hole of a friend and just thought, Wow, that person really needs to get laid to take the edge off of them?
The thing is nobody can get close enough without turning to stone... ...they should get a dog or a cat.

[Anita18]

Ever worked with an uptight person, or had a'hole of a friend and just thought, Wow, that person really needs to get laid to take the edge off of them?
I had a friend like that in high school. Total religious nut, thought I would get pregnant by just sleeping next to my bf in the same bed. Sperm can totally just up and crawl through layers of clothing, didn't I know that?

I'm afraid the only way she'd allow a boy near her is if he were an equally religious nut. :funny: Hilarious thing is that she claims she knows how relationships work because she's watched a lot of romance movies and read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Nevermind the fact she's never been in one. :o

[Erzengel]

I knew a girl like that, who tried to be all Jedi sage-wise about men and relationships, even though, up until we stopped talking she's never had a real relationship. Her basis of men and relationships, was being in love with her "best friend" whom she'd had sex with but were never ever really official. She would try to wax poetic about relationships but, she had very limited knowledge.

[Shuley]

I had a friend like that in high school. Total religious nut, thought I would get pregnant by just sleeping next to my bf in the same bed. Sperm can totally just up and crawl through layers of clothing, didn't I know that?

I'm afraid the only way she'd allow a boy near her is if he were an equally religious nut. :funny: Hilarious thing is that she claims she knows how relationships work because she's watched a lot of romance movies and read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." Nevermind the fact she's never been in one. :o


men don't create the romantic comedy for women and that is what they want...men don't realize the relationship starts the second you meet her...not on the first date. "You had me at hello" - Jerry Maguire this means that the girl was already his the second he said hello.

[enterthemadness]

Ever worked with an uptight person, or had a'hole of a friend and just thought, Wow, that person really needs to get laid to take the edge off of them?

Yes, but that person is me....at times...not right now....but at times...thing is, um, yeah, how does getting laid take edge off you? What if it's bad for that person?

[Shuley]

Yes, but that person is me....at times...not right now....but at times...thing is, um, yeah, how does getting laid take edge off you? What if it's bad for that person?


Getting laid doesn't take the edge off...only YOU can take the edge off, it's all in your head.

[LittleMsMarvel]

Do you think it is better to show someone you like them through your actions (with the potential for them being totally dense and not picking up the signals) or telling them (which is clearer but can make things really really awkward)?

[Shuley]

Do you think it is better to show someone you like them through your actions (with the potential for them being totally dense and not picking up the signals) or telling them (which is clearer but can make things really really awkward)?

98% of guys don't understand signals,you basically have to tell us. :doh:

[Anita18]

Well preferably you would do both. :oldrazz:

[Cunning Stunts]

I've got a tricky one here. I'd like some opinions, just for ****s and giggles, if nothing else.

Well, this girl and I in high school (my senior year, her junior year) were acquainted. We didn't really know each other much outside of the class we had together, but we'd talked once or twice. After I graduated, never saw each other, no doubt never thought anything of it, just a classmate, really.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, we met while we were both heading to our respective sports' practices. We recognized each other, talked for a bit, and that was it. Since then, we've seen each other a couple more times, and we always stop to chat whenever we do. Well, tonight, we both just so happened to head to the same restaurant, and while waiting in line to get our food, I hung and talked with her for a while. I'd considered asking this girl for her phone number for a short while now, but I've never been one for approaching a girl when she's with a bunch of friends (which is always when I see her). Unfortunately, when I saw her tonight, she was again with one of her friends, so I opted not to say anything.

Well, I have a bunch of tickets to a local theme park, and I gave a pair to one of my teammates, who's going to take a girl he's interested in to the park this coming Saturday. He told me that if I could find a date, we should pull a double date (possibly a triple of another teammate of ours wants to go as well). Here's where the predicament comes in:

While talking to this girl, I found out that her sport is ended until sometime in Spring- meaning I likely won't be seeing her on the way to practice anymore, which is the only place I've seen her (aside from tonight, obviously). The best possible solution I can come up with to get a hold of her- especially before Saturday- is to do it on Facebook (we've been friends on it for quite a while), which is something I've always been particularly against.

Basically, my questions are: Should I not and just bank on hopefully seeing her again before Saturday? If not, is there really a smooth way to go about asking someone for a # (or even out) via Facebook? Or should I just skip Saturday, and just wait until the next time I see her?

[Crook]

Out of personal experience, if she's considered you smooth before; then asking her out, or her number, even on Facebook, would do absolutely no harm. I've intentionally said and asked some outright stupid/foolish things to girls over the net, but my relationship with them is good enough that I can't come off as "weird".

Otherwise....no. Don't do it. I can only speak for myself, but I know I'd laugh at any semi-stranger who did that, even if it was towards an old friend.

[Cunning Stunts]

Out of personal experience, if she's considered you smooth before; then asking her out, or her number, even on Facebook, would do absolutely no harm. I've intentionally said and asked some outright stupid/foolish things to girls over the net, but my relationship with them is good enough that I can't come off as "weird".

Otherwise....no. Don't do it. I can only speak for myself, but I know I'd laugh at any semi-stranger who did that, even if it was towards an old friend.

Yeah, see, that's the thing. I don't know that we're close enough for her to consider me "smooth" (whether or not I actually am is up for grabs). We barely knew each other in high school, and have probably talked more in the past few times we've seen each other than we did the entire year we had together in high school.

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

Ever worked with an uptight person, or had a'hole of a friend and just thought, Wow, that person really needs to get laid to take the edge off of them?

I AM that uptight person at work.

Doesn't help that I work with a bunch of snob ass preppy kids who all think they're too cool for anyone.

[Crook]

Yeah, see, that's the thing. I don't know that we're close enough for her to consider me "smooth" (whether or not I actually am is up for grabs). We barely knew each other in high school, and have probably talked more in the past few times we've seen each other than we did the entire year we had together in high school.

Yeah, that's a bit tough to come forward then. I'd be too afraid in coming off as too hasty or making things awkward.

But if you don't mind the potential rejection, then go right ahead. I'm not the type to put myself in that position. :o

[Cunning Stunts]

Yeah, that's a bit tough to come forward then. I'd be too afraid in coming off as too hasty or making things awkward.

But if you don't mind the potential rejection, then go right ahead. I'm not the type to put myself in that position. :o

Na, not a fan of rejection here. That said, it's not like this is some girl I've been pining over for months or anything, so I don't know that the rejection would bother me all that much.

[E-Man]

This is just for fun. I have a friend of mine that I'm close to, and she told me that her friend needed someone to "hang out with" just for a night. Now I'm not a fan of blind dates, but my friend really wanted me to do this favor so that she could have some time to herself this weekend. Well we plan a date tonight, and I am set to meet this chick at this restaurant. She insists on taking her own transportation, and I understand fully why she'd rather bring herself. No harm no foul at all.

The problem was that she showed up 20 minutes late without a valid excuse why. I called her about 8 minutes after we were supposed to meet to see if she got lost, but she with her attitude just said "I'm on my way." The tone was pretty *****y, but I told her it was cool and that I'd reserve a table since it was a little crowded. Well she finally calls me when she gets in the parking lot, and I tell her that I'm inside waiting at the front to be called for our table. 5 minutes pass, and she calls me upset saying, "Are you just going to let me just sit out here?" I ask her if there's something wrong with her door, and she calls me an ******* since I didn't do the gentlemanly thing to come outside and open her car door for her. Being the guy I am, I start laughing my ass off at her on the phone. She starts talking about how it's traditional for a man to open the door for the woman. I tell her that I'll order her a kids meal, and laugh at her while she hangs up and I assume that she's left the restaurant parking lot. I call my friend who set us up, and she laughs and tell me that's why she wanted me to get her away from hanging out with them.:doh:

[katie_girl09]

Gosh! No wonder she can't get a date herself.

[E-Man]

That's why I'm not too into blind dates. If my friend didn't really call in the favor I wouldn't have done it. On the plus side it was a little funny how I dodged that bullet.

[katie_girl09]

Besides, only a real princess such as myself has the right to demand such things from her would-be suitors. :o

[Anubis]

This is just for fun. I have a friend of mine that I'm close to, and she told me that her friend needed someone to "hang out with" just for a night. Now I'm not a fan of blind dates, but my friend really wanted me to do this favor so that she could have some time to herself this weekend. Well we plan a date tonight, and I am set to meet this chick at this restaurant. She insists on taking her own transportation, and I understand fully why she'd rather bring herself. No harm no foul at all.

The problem was that she showed up 20 minutes late without a valid excuse why. I called her about 8 minutes after we were supposed to meet to see if she got lost, but she with her attitude just said "I'm on my way." The tone was pretty *****y, but I told her it was cool and that I'd reserve a table since it was a little crowded. Well she finally calls me when she gets in the parking lot, and I tell her that I'm inside waiting at the front to be called for our table. 5 minutes pass, and she calls me upset saying, "Are you just going to let me just sit out here?" I ask her if there's something wrong with her door, and she calls me an ******* since I didn't do the gentlemanly thing to come outside and open her car door for her. Being the guy I am, I start laughing my ass off at her on the phone. She starts talking about how it's traditional for a man to open the door for the woman. I tell her that I'll order her a kids meal, and laugh at her while she hangs up and I assume that she's left the restaurant parking lot. I call my friend who set us up, and she laughs and tell me that's why she wanted me to get her away from hanging out with them.:doh:


......soooo, did you bang her?

[E-Man]

All hail princess Kaite!:bow:

Edit: No banging happened tonight. She left after I laughed at her on the phone. She probably that that HIV thing anyway. Isn't that supposed to be like an itching disease or something?

[katie_girl09]

I AM that uptight person at work.
Then go out and take the ladies by storm, Nell! I see you complain about being single and I don't quite understand why. You seem like a nice, responsible guy. Based on the picture I've seen of you on the Wolverine forum, you aren't a bad-looking guy either. There's no reason why you should be single if you don't want to be. I really suspect that you're your own worst enemy when it comes to relationships. I see no other reason for you being unlucky in love.

[Cunning Stunts]

Oh well, just said eff it and sent her a message. I feel like a jackass doing it that way, but why the hell not? Probably won't see her before Saturday anyway. Hopefully my luck turns around a little.

[Casius--J]

This is just for fun. I have a friend of mine that I'm close to, and she told me that her friend needed someone to "hang out with" just for a night. Now I'm not a fan of blind dates, but my friend really wanted me to do this favor so that she could have some time to herself this weekend. Well we plan a date tonight, and I am set to meet this chick at this restaurant. She insists on taking her own transportation, and I understand fully why she'd rather bring herself. No harm no foul at all.

The problem was that she showed up 20 minutes late without a valid excuse why. I called her about 8 minutes after we were supposed to meet to see if she got lost, but she with her attitude just said "I'm on my way." The tone was pretty *****y, but I told her it was cool and that I'd reserve a table since it was a little crowded. Well she finally calls me when she gets in the parking lot, and I tell her that I'm inside waiting at the front to be called for our table. 5 minutes pass, and she calls me upset saying, "Are you just going to let me just sit out here?" I ask her if there's something wrong with her door, and she calls me an ******* since I didn't do the gentlemanly thing to come outside and open her car door for her. Being the guy I am, I start laughing my ass off at her on the phone. She starts talking about how it's traditional for a man to open the door for the woman. I tell her that I'll order her a kids meal, and laugh at her while she hangs up and I assume that she's left the restaurant parking lot. I call my friend who set us up, and she laughs and tell me that's why she wanted me to get her away from hanging out with them.:doh:

You know I found this hilarious, she could not have been SERIOUS!!??

LOL glad you laughed at her pathetic arse.

[Anita18]

You know I found this hilarious, she could not have been SERIOUS!!??

LOL glad you laughed at her pathetic arse.
It's even more hilarious if she was totally serious. :lmao:

[OhManIRule!]

So I had met this girl off the Internet who wasn't interested in a relationship, so we just had sex instead. Twice. Well, more than twice. I mean twice as in, I stayed over twice. Those two times, we probably did it lots. And there was head, then some weed smoking, then we watched The Wicker Man. It was pretty awesome.

Last time I was over, I lent her a DVD.

But she texted me and told me she has a boyfriend now, and she thanked me for the fun.

But I want my DVD back.

[Anita18]

So I had met this girl off the Internet who wasn't interested in a relationship, so we just had sex instead. Twice. Well, more than twice. I mean twice as in, I stayed over twice. Those two times, we probably did it lots. And there was head, then some weed smoking, then we watched The Wicker Man. It was pretty awesome.

Last time I was over, I lent her a DVD.

But she texted me and told me she has a boyfriend now, and she thanked me for the fun.

But I want my DVD back.
If it was The Wicker Man DVD, I say let her keep it.

[katie_girl09]

:lmao:

[Gilpesh]

If it was The Wicker Man DVD, I say let her keep it.
You shut your mouth. You don't know what you're talking about. :cmad:

[Wylie Times]

The Wicker man is an ODD choice of a DVD to watch with a girl you just been sleeping with. :huh:

[VenomVsSpidey]

whom he met off teh internetz

[katie_girl09]

Wow. He got banned in record time. :hehe:

[terry78]

Wow. He got banned in record time. :hehe:

Are you that "girl" he mentioned in his story? :o

[VenomVsSpidey]

Wow. He got banned in record time. :hehe:

:hehe::hehe::hehe:


guiness world record anyone?

[katie_girl09]

Are you that "girl" he mentioned in his story? :o

A lady never tells. :)

EDIT: I think we should call up Guinness. lol

[VenomVsSpidey]

:hehe:

[SLVRSR4]

:dry: So I came out to this girl that I like. She was quiet and then told me that she is too far on the spectrum of lesbian to consider me as anything more than a friend. I had been putting it off to ask her about it because I was afraid of being rejected but now I am and I feel bad. Not as bad as I thought I would be but still pretty bad. I'm not sure if I should talk to her anymore because I'll still feel the sting of her and her girlfriend.

I've been trying to get with this girl for almost 5 years now.:o I guess I'm coming to this thread for advice on how to get over this. She was perfect for me, but I can't play unrequited lover anymore.

Someone pm me or something get some friendly banter going so I don't think about this more than i have been. The worse part is that I think her lover likes me so there's some twisted love triangle going on that doesn't have sexy results.:o

I've tried meeting new women by asking them out for lunch or something but that's failed four times now. I've tried finding a guy too but every gay person I know is flamboyant instead of just being gay so that hasn't worked either.

[BillyZaned]

um.... yeah...... i got nothing for ya

[Erzengel]

I remember this one girl that I really liked and the same I worked with her for years, hung out, but I was too green to ever make a move suffice than professing my love for her. I always thought she was perfect because her sense of humor matched mine. In hindsight though, even if she did have feelings for me, knowing what I know now, we weren't right for each other AND I would have more heartbroken and probably more jaded than I would have never getting with her.

[SLVRSR4]

That picture of Billy Zane with the sponge was worth a small laugh:o

[BillyZaned]

the one thing, that still haunts me to this day... and yes, I know, I'm married and have a child...

there was a girl in HS, that I was best friends with... we had alot of classes together... were partners for everything, and hung out all the time..... her name was Sarah... even all our mutual friends would come up to us and be like "we don't you guys just date"... and we both would just laugh it off..... I lost touch with her after we graduated... but looking back at it... she was totally into me, and those people telling us to date were actually giving me the hint "she likes you, just finally do it". Hell, she used to turn down guys all the time, and even have me pose as her BF when they wouldn't stop bugging her...

It's been almost 7 years since I saw her... and I still get that occasional dream where she is in it...

anyone else have anything like this happen to them... maybe I should go to one of those classmate websites, and try to contact her... not to try anything... just so I could say "what's up"... and she how she is doing....

[Erzengel]

If your wife isn't the jealous type, why not? But the only downside I can see is you do kinda have her on a little pedestal in your head, you may not like what you see, 7 years later.

[BillyZaned]

If your wife isn't the jealous type, why not? But the only downside I can see is you do kinda have her on a little pedestal in your head, you may not like what you see, 7 years later.

she was gorgious... I mean litteraly, she was the type that most guys assumed was dating someone.... and I think most thought we were dating....

I want to see how she is doing, because she was such a good friend... and, I guess, it may sound selfish..... maybe she isn't so hot nowadays... and maybe I dodged a bullet.... not trying to sound mean or anything...

think it's bad I still have dreams about her every once in awhile... it's not like every week or anything... but every few months.....

[SLVRSR4]

Keep her tucked away as a good memory. If you do see her as she is now she might ruin your dreams.

[BillyZaned]

Keep her tucked away as a good memory. If you do see her as she is now she might ruin your dreams.


you know, the thing though is... the dreams are not sexual at all..... it's just us hanging out like old times.... then when I wake up... I'm somewhat depressed.....

while me and my wife have a really good relationship... me and sarah were literally best friends in every aspect in high school.....

I'm thinking alot of it has to do with when these dreams starting happening, which is about 2 years ago..... which, what happened two years ago, not the birth of my son... but me moving away to a better community and lossing tract of all my "so called" friends...

it's seriously been two years now... and it's sad, but if crap happened between me and katie,.... or if I wanted to just hang out with some guys.... I got no one to call.... really sucks not having one freaking friend

[SLVRSR4]

I can't imagine what it would be like to have no friends:csad:

I plan on moving in a few years and I just might take my friends with me.

[Wylie Times]

the one thing, that still haunts me to this day... and yes, I know, I'm married and have a child...

there was a girl in HS, that I was best friends with... we had alot of classes together... were partners for everything, and hung out all the time..... her name was Sarah... even all our mutual friends would come up to us and be like "we don't you guys just date"... and we both would just laugh it off..... I lost touch with her after we graduated... but looking back at it... she was totally into me, and those people telling us to date were actually giving me the hint "she likes you, just finally do it". Hell, she used to turn down guys all the time, and even have me pose as her BF when they wouldn't stop bugging her...

It's been almost 7 years since I saw her... and I still get that occasional dream where she is in it...

anyone else have anything like this happen to them... maybe I should go to one of those classmate websites, and try to contact her... not to try anything... just so I could say "what's up"... and she how she is doing....

I swear this sounds just like me. I tend to be dense in regards to women being into me though. :doh:

[BillyZaned]

I can't imagine what it would be like to have no friends:csad:

I plan on moving in a few years and I just might take my friends with me.


I have "work" friends... but there not the same... I mean, it's someone to talk to during work..... but, they are not the type I would have over for the Packer game on Sunday, considering most are ex-cons, and ex-gang members....

maybe it's me.... IDK, I have never had a problem getting a date, or getting laid... I've always had problems keeping friends.... and I think the thing is now... when i hang out with someone, I think it comes off that I try to hard, which kind of pushes people away... but its hard not too when you have no friends to begin with... easier to make friends when you have some....

now I sound like The Immortal!... christ ****ing sake