Why women are stupid, The Myth of "The Nice Guy"

[Whirlysplat]

It's time for a classic 1990's mysoginistic post.


The Myth Of “The Nice Guy”



“Shut your mouth you dirty ****, you know you want it in your butt.” - Lyrics from D-12’s song “Purple Pills”


Sunday was a quiet day in the life of Guy In Trenchcoat. The rain reflected my miserable mood. The local high schools had yet to re-open, so I didn’t have any dates for that night. I decided to hang out with a few friends of mine and shoot the ****. There were four males present and one female acquaintance from work. Over several frosty beverages, we discussed several topics. Undoubtedly, the one that stirred up the most controversy (and actually helped awake one guy from a pot-induced stupor) was the topic of male-female relationships.

I’m sure you have heard women complain that they can’t find a “nice guy”. They are LYING. Women claim they want a “nice guy” because they feel that is what expected of them. The truth is, most women have been approached by these so-called nice guys and want nothing to do with them. Rather, women want the so-called “challenge” that comes with dating a not-so nice guy.

Before we go any further, I should clarify a few things. When I say “nice guy” I mean, your average guy, who is neither an overly cocky windbag nor the kind of guy who is ready to marry the first women who actually responds when he says hello. That may seem like a rather broad term, but there are a large number of males who this description fits. This means you could be the occasional *******, (who isn’t?) but for the most part, you don’t have too many issues.





I have often heard women complain about men they date falling over them, and practically worshipping them. First off, I don’t care how much a guy digs a particular female, if you constantly kiss her ass, you are hurting yourself. Plus, you make guys in general look bad. So for the good of your gender, for all of us who hate pissing with morning wood, STOP BEING A TOOL. If you have that little self-confidence and act like any women is doing you a favor by acknowledging you exist, you should do one of two things:
1) Give up on finding a significant other
2) Swallow a nice refreshing glass of Drano

Now then, on to females. The “Nice Guy” myth is one of the many reasons guys get frustrated with the necessary evil that is the female gender. What is that women want? “ I need a challenge” is right up there with when guys say “Sure I’ll respect you in the morning.” By that I mean, it’s a crock of ****. Are you that ****ed up in the head that you want to date a guy who is going to treat you like crap as opposed to a guy who actually might see you as more than just a hole to stick his schlong in? Are you that bitter about not being asked to the prom by the guy of your dreams that you want to live the high school experience you never had?

The pursuit of that which is not easily attainable does nothing to help the vagina-possessing kooks who do it. We’ve all heard them babble on about how the guy who plays hard to get has “confidence’ and is “mysterious.”

By this twisted logic, only hardcore *******s, the ones who “keep their *****es in check” have confidence. Did these women ever consider that a lot of guys have confidence; we just don’t feel the need to be self- absorbed braggarts? And even when it comes to guys who treat women like ****, who is worse, the guy who does it, or the chick that lets him? I say the chick is worse. Of course a guy is going to push the envelope, it’s not our fault if the female involved can’t stand up for herself. Get a backbone and get to suckin’.

And have you ever noticed that the girls who always get burned are the preachy types? I mean, it’s the girl who is hot and on the surface, pretty appealing. What happens? She gets hurt over and over. But in between her spastic fits of crying like a 6-year old, she never fails to preach at you. She’ll tell you that you are wrong for not calling a girl after a one-night stand. She’ll lecture you for ignoring certain girls. She’ll cry at every movie where the girl gets swept off her feet, hoping that some day her knight will come. And then she’ll go and make herself look pathetic.

The irony in all this is that females who ignore decent guys, guys who are actually pretty normal, and then pursue the guy who does not want them instead, are creating more of a problem. How you ask? Every time a genuinely decent guy gets screwed over, he’s one step closer to becoming a full-fledged *******. So good job girls, you’ve now helped create more guys who will mess with your head.
I mentioned earlier that certain females seem to want a ‘challenge”, and that’s why they pursue guys who treat them like crap. Well, if they don’t stop acting like psychotics, the more challenges they will get. It will be more of a challenge to come up with excuses about why you were crying in the bathroom at a bar, or why you have black eyes and bruises. After all, people will only believe your story about Rollerblading mishaps so many times before they become suspicious. Unfortunately, this column will probably ring true for a lot of people reading it. The truth sucks sometimes people, as do many women’s twisted relationship choices.

[Speedball]

All the "nice guys" are gay anyway. :o

[November Rain]

is this another 'the sky is blue' thread?

[oakzap425]

...I'm so confused.

[jaguarr]

http://www.tuckborough.net/images/cavetroll.jpg

jag

[Whirlysplat]

http://www.tuckborough.net/images/cavetroll.jpg

jag

W-what w-what is that?

[Immortalfire]

W-what w-what is that?

Cave troll.

[Spider-Man Luvr28]

I was wondering the same thing.:O Scary looking.

[Whirlysplat]

Cave troll.

W-why post that in a thread by me? :csad:

[Mee]

W-what w-what is that?
A woman without make-up.



OH! ZING!

[Immortalfire]

W-why post that in a thread by me? :csad:

You figure it out. :hehe:

[Figs]

Good points across the board Whirlysplat. These are especially true.

"Did these women ever consider that a lot of guys have confidence; we just don’t feel the need to be self- absorbed braggarts"

"Every time a genuinely decent guy gets screwed over, he’s one step closer to becoming a full-fledged *******. "

That second quote was almost me in my life. I just stayed head strong and knew I was better than those F***S for not being arrogant with my head up my ass and chose not to go down that path.

[Whirlysplat]

You figure it out. :hehe:

:huh:

[Whirlysplat]

Good points across the board Whirlysplat. These are especially true.

"Did these women ever consider that a lot of guys have confidence; we just don’t feel the need to be self- absorbed braggarts"

"Every time a genuinely decent guy gets screwed over, he’s one step closer to becoming a full-fledged *******. "

That second quote was almost me in my life. I just stayed head strong and knew I was better than those F***S for not being arrogant with my head up my ass and chose not to go down that path.

Thanks! :word: I'm glad you can see the truth in these words. I'm sorry you had to learn these life lessons yourself, the hard way though.

[Figs]

Thanks! :word: I'm glad you can see the truth in these words. I'm sorry you had to learn these life lessons yourself, the hard way though.


Don't be sorry. That's how you usually learn in life, from your mistakes.

[Whirlysplat]

Don't be sorry. That's how you usually learn in life, from your mistakes.

True, true.....So? What happened my friend?

[Figs]

True, true.....So? What happened my friend?


Nothing different than what a lot of guys before and after have gone through.

Just typical stuff when you were in school or at parties.

Like when you see an attractive girl and you start talking to her and joking around at a party. After a fairly long time of shooting the ****, some 'uber macho jock' type comes along and she appears to just swoon and get wet over him in an instant.

Over time it went from getting me bummed to something I would say '**** it' or 'whatever' to and move on.

[Whirlysplat]

Nothing different than what a lot of guys before and after have gone through.

Just typical stuff when you were in school or at parties.

Like when you see an attractive girl and you start talking to her and joking around at a party. After a fairly long time of shooting the ****, some 'uber macho jock' type comes along and she appears to just swoon and get wet over him in an instant.

Over time it went from getting me bummed to something I would say '**** it' or 'whatever' to and move on.

Fair enough!

[hammy]

Now then, on to females. ... Are you that ****ed up in the head that you want to date a guy who is going to treat you like crap as opposed to a guy who actually might see you as more than just a hole to stick his schlong in?


Yes, many are. Isn't that abundantly clear? :dry:


Did these women ever consider that a lot of guys have confidence; we just don’t feel the need to be self- absorbed braggarts?

Probably not, because they're morons.


I mentioned earlier that certain females seem to want a ‘challenge”, and that’s why they pursue guys who treat them like crap. Well, if they don’t stop acting like psychotics, the more challenges they will get. It will be more of a challenge to come up with excuses about why you were crying in the bathroom at a bar, or why you have black eyes and bruises. After all, people will only believe your story about Rollerblading mishaps so many times before they become suspicious. Unfortunately, this column will probably ring true for a lot of people reading it. The truth sucks sometimes people, as do many women’s twisted relationship choices.

Why would a nice guy want a psycho? Same reason stupid women want bad boys.

[Whirlysplat]

Yes, many are. Isn't that abundantly clear? :dry:



Probably not, because they're morons.



Why would a nice guy want a psycho? Same reason stupid women want bad boys.
:hehe:

[DBella]

There are some truths to your 'rant'. I don't get girls/women who are attracted to 'bad guys' who treat them like crap. Don't they realize that if you play with fire you'll most likely get burned?

On the same token, why are some guys attracted to bad girls?

Every time a genuinely decent guy gets screwed over, he’s one step closer to becoming a full-fledged *******. So good job girls, you’ve now helped create more guys who will mess with your head.

Aha! This part I don't agree with. Why is the girl to blame for a guy turning into a******s? Good guys don't turn bad over something like that. At least they shouldn't. Sometimes guys act like nice guys to hook up with a girl and when they get rejected, Mr. Hyde comes out to play.
Anyway, I believe in personal responsibility. Our environment and experiences shapes who we to a certain extent but in this case maybe the guy should take personal responsibility for going after girls who have a penchant for bad boys.

[Obi-Ron]

On the same token, why are some guys attracted to bad girls?


Because they put out, duh.

[PyroChamber]

On the same token, why are some guys attracted to bad girls?What exactly is considered a "bad girl" anyway?

[Erzengel]

Yes, many are. Isn't that abundantly clear? :dry:



Probably not, because they're morons.



Why would a nice guy want a psycho? Same reason stupid women want bad boys.
Cause everyone knows crazy girls are the best in bed.

[Erzengel]

What exactly is a considered a "bad girl" anyway?
They kiss on the first date.

[knowsbleed]

Because they put out, duh.

:up:

[Dorian Gray]

Because they put out, duh.

Truth in that statment...which negates the whole "nice guy" thing.

[Erzengel]

I like the fact that threadmaker is overlooking the fact that maybe she's just not attracted to the guy regardless if he's nice or not. Or my favorite how women turn nice guys into a'holes because they misinterpret what the women are saying.

[Dorian Gray]

So, if the women turned a 'nice guy" into an a'hole wouldn't that make him more attractive?:huh:

You know, since all girls dig a'holes.

[ComicChick]

couldn't us nice girls make a similar argument out there

[knowsbleed]

You could

You should

[Erzengel]

couldn't us nice girls make a similar argument out there
What? We take you home to meet our parents?

The bad girls we take into the back alley.

[knowsbleed]

The bad girls we take into the back alley.

Cheap bastard...get a hotel room.

[Erzengel]

Dinner is expensive enough.

[Bubonic]

Cheap bastard...get a hotel room.

Hey hey... The alley is fine, unless your stuck in Montreal like I am this time a year... Bit chilly.
Hotel rooms are overrated, takes the romance and spontaneity out of it.

[knowsbleed]

Ok...my bad.

Get a MOtel room.

[Master Chief]

To keep a relationship afloat you gotta be like, "I love you, you're my world, but go make me a sandwich b**ch." :o

[hammy]

:rolleyes:

[Master Chief]

lol, srsly though, I remember somewhere reading that most women like to be dominated in 1 of 3 ways:

Financially
Emotionally
Sexually

So KkKKkKKkK. I have yet to studyifically proofs but basikally from s**ts going on, I'm thinking there's some truth to that.

[Mac_Hine]

Sometimes I see these "nice guys" sucking up to women, thinking that will work and good lord is that embarassing. These "nice guys" seek their approval and I'm thinking for baby jesus' sake grow a f'n spine.

[CieloAzul]

BooHoo.
Shame on women for wanting a guy who'll do her and leave her the hell alone.

[ComicChick]

What? We take you home to meet our parents?

The bad girls we take into the back alley.

yeah but it's those back alley girls who give us ladies a bad name. cuz most guys would rather take the girl in the alley with no effort than go after a girl who is actually worth the time.

BooHoo.
Shame on women for wanting a guy who'll do her and leave her the hell alone.

i agree. shame on them. i also can't understand how ppl can stay in abusive relationships. i got out, why can't they?

but seriously, you boys are just as easy to blame as us. i could point to a gazillion ways women are degraded and objectified in media and society, which could also be the reason some girls act the way they do. but it's our fault too.

so everyone is to blame :up:

[Addendum]

Except for me, because I'm either at work, asleep or playing video games.

[jaguarr]

http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/citybythesea/8.html

jag

[CieloAzul]

Written by a "nice guy" with no game.

[Ghostvirus]

Ah, the old "Nice Guys Finish Last" threads. Awesome.:up:
uYHXXpksTJw

[ComicChick]

Ah, the old "Nice Guys Finish Last" threads. Awesome.:up:


aren't they just the greatest

[Mac_Hine]

aren't they just the greatest
I know. These "nice guys" continue doing the same things over and over again and actually see that it's not working yet they carry on anyways hoping that magically it will work. Like Jay said on the 40 year-old virgin "you need to try out some wrong dog".

[Lighthouse]

I don't think its really about a guy being nice or not. I think its all about attractive. I actually think men and women are pretty similar in this regard. I think women do want a nice guy with a sense of humor, but they want a good looking nice guy with a sense of humor. A ton of nice guys exist, but most of them are average looking people.

[PyroChamber]

I don't think its really about a guy being nice or not. I think its all about attractive. I actually think men and women are pretty similar in this regard. I think women do want a nice guy with a sense of humor, but they want a good looking nice guy with a sense of humor. A ton of nice guys exist, but most of them are average looking people.I think that's pretty much it right there.

Some women like to say that there aren't any good men out there, there are good men out there it's just that only a few of them are good looking. I think that there are more average guys in the world than there are good looking ones, and some women don't really care about how great a guy is as long as he's attractive and most of those guys are *******s. Men are like that too, but it's not that deep for us; like I've said before all a man really wants is a woman who's fine and doesn't get on his nerves.

Plus, I never understood the whole "I want to change him" thing. I mean is this what most women mean when say they want a man who's a challenge, someone they can change?

[MaskedManJRK]

After trying that "Nice Guy" thing, I think it's more likely that a girl will have "A Man," which is essentially a blend of the two.

Also, working out will probably help. Like Lighthouse said above me, women are a lot like men that they'll go for the hot ones. You never see a fat, slobby ******* with a beautiful girl, do you? :o

[PyroChamber]

You never see a fat, slobby ******* with a beautiful girl, do you? :oYou'd be surprised. Sometimes overweight guys have to use humor to get women since being overweight to most people isn't considered a good thing.

[Logan's Runt]

This thread is fail.

[Whirlysplat]

This thread is fail.

I love the internet lingo...... When people post fail and nothing else, it usually means a nerve has been touched. Tell me about your pain Logan's runt.

[Logan's Runt]

I love the internet lingo...... When people post fail and nothing else, it usually means a nerve has been touched. Tell me about your pain Logan's runt.

Drak touched me 'there.' :csad:

[bullets]

Nice guys are boring . I think that's what it is. How much fun can you have constantly worrying and afraid to take risks.

[Whirlysplat]

Nice guys are boring . I think that's what it is. How much fun can you have constantly worrying and afraid to take risks.

Are you "nice" bullets?

[bullets]

Are you "nice" bullets?



I've been called bad boy but I don't see it like that . I do alot of what I want most of the time . I'm not an a'hole to girls but i say things some people wouldn't , That is just me joking though.

[The Guard]

I'm curious as to what kind of women you're pursuing and how you are doing it that they swoon over the first man who comes along who isn't you.

Girls want bad boys, and boys want bad girls. Tis the way of the world. People are generally idiots. And when both of them make stupid choices, and end up getting burt. I find this particular aspect of humanity hilarious. And very sad.

Yes, "nice guys" tend to finish last. But always, but as a general rule. But do you really want a girl who wants to be treated like crap and is willing to settle for the first attractive moron who comes along? Sure, she may be fun to sleep with once or twice, but then the massive insecurities pop up...

[Ghostvirus]

This is going to sound f-ed up, but what I have found, is that all a woman really wants is a man who listens. Honestly listen, not listen just to get laid. They can tell.

[PyroChamber]

This is going to sound f-ed up, but what I have found, is that all a woman really wants is a man who listens. Honestly listen, not listen just to get laid. They can tell.I listen, but then they'll get deep into their problems and this maybe harsh but I don't think I can date a woman who has more problems than me.

[MaskedManJRK]

You'd be surprised. Sometimes overweight guys have to use humor to get women since being overweight to most people isn't considered a good thing.

Which is why I said "fat ass-hole." :o

[Ghostvirus]

I listen, but then they'll get deep into their problems and this maybe harsh but I don't think I can date a woman who has more problems than me.

Good luck with that. Everyone has problems. You can't escape that.

[Eggyman]

There's no hard and fast rule with this, I don't think. It's not just black and white. Some people just click better than others. Some people look for the wrong kind of person. Some people do it intentionally because they want what that certain kind has to offer. Some people do it without knowing. Some people think too much about it.

Some guys are naturally nice, and some guys put it on so they can take a woman by surprise before screwing her physically and mentally.

I think the nice guy thing is all about balance. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself if you're a nice guy -- embrace it, it's a good thing. Just don't be a doormat and there should be no problem. That's the only thing you should worry about.

:Balance:

[ScottyBBadd]

On the same token, why are some guys attracted to bad girls?

I just am.

[turtlefocker]

If you are in an abusive relationship it's your fault for dating him

[psychocheeseman]

Sorry Whirlysplat your post sounded like a big winge about how girls don't notice your "inner confidence" because you're such a nice guy.

Girls do want nice guys. its just that those traits aren't usually the first things that girls are attracted too when they are becoming attracted to someone.

I think you might be confusing nice with shy. When it comes to falling for someone, you have to see them first. That's why so many jocks have so much success, they're noticed, whilst the shy nice guys are sitting in the corner wondering why girls like jerks.

Nice guys don't always finish last. If you're a nice guy you should be proud and have more "genuine" confidence than any jock who acts all cocky in public to get himself noticed.

posting a thread like this just makes you sound bitter and resentful. Women are beautiful creatures, they come in all shapes and sizes, very few would be as bad as you think... but they do all have boobies!

[Mac_Hine]

Guys are first attracted to looks while girls are attracted to status. And status doesn't really mean monetary (though it does help) but more of inner status ie. healthy self-esteem, confidence and humor.

[Drakon]

Drak touched me 'there.' :csad:

Don't frown. You liked every minute of it. :o

[ComicChick]

After trying that "Nice Guy" thing, I think it's more likely that a girl will have "A Man," which is essentially a blend of the two.

Also, working out will probably help. Like Lighthouse said above me, women are a lot like men that they'll go for the hot ones. You never see a fat, slobby ******* with a beautiful girl, do you? :o

music videos, tv, etc

Simpsons, Family Guy (cartoons, but still)
King of Queens, Still Standing lol

[Daisy]

It's been my observation and experience that most guys who do the 'nice guy rant' aren't actually 'nice guys'. They THINK they are 'nice guys', but they're actually passive aggressive and highly-manipulative (the 'nice guy rant' is just one of many manipulations).

Why should a girl bother with all that drama and bull****, when with a straight-forward *******, she at least knows exactly what to expect?

[Mac_Hine]

It's been my observation and experience that most guys who do the 'nice guy rant' aren't actually 'nice guys'. They THINK they are 'nice guys', but they're actually passive aggressive and highly-manipulative (the 'nice guy rant' is just one of many manipulations).

Why should a girl bother with all that drama and bull****, when with a straight-forward *******, she at least knows exactly what to expect?
I agree. I'm a dude and I see some guys who do the "nice guy" thing and they think that by sucking up to women and buying them things will make girls like them which in reality is very manipulative like you said. And they are angry at women too because they just don't "get it". They complain and complain instead of working on themselves and learning how to talk to women.

[ComicChick]

It's been my observation and experience that most guys who do the 'nice guy rant' aren't actually 'nice guys'. They THINK they are 'nice guys', but they're actually passive aggressive and highly-manipulative (the 'nice guy rant' is just one of many manipulations).



:up:

i also find it kinda amusing when said "nice guys" seem to think all girls want "bad boys". I can honestly say I don't. I don't want a mysterious, dangerous guy. I want someone I can trust who I can count on.

To geekify it all up, (since we're on a comic book board after all:oldrazz: ); in a thread oh so long ago (deleted during the purge i think) someone asked if you could have any X character as a significant other, who would it be.

Most of the girls picked Gambit. They can have him. Give me Bobby Drake any day :up:

[PyroChamber]

They complain and complain instead of working on themselves and learning how to talk to women.Is there really a way a man can learn how to talk to women?

[CieloAzul]

Well they've got to start years ahead. After googoo, gahgah, mama, and dada it's kind of downhill from there.

It's not like guys need a decoder or anything....
Then we'd have to figure out a new way to drive guys crazy. Which I guess is pretty easy for the "nice guys." They'll believe anything.

[MaskedManJRK]

music videos, tv, etc

Simpsons, Family Guy (cartoons, but still)
King of Queens, Still Standing lol

No one seems to notice the "ass-hole" part. :csad:

:up:Most of the girls picked Gambit. They can have him. Give me Bobby Drake any day :up:

Not to mention that turning his body into ice power must be mucho kinky in the sheets. :up:

[chamber-music]

Fascinating
http://i25.tinypic.com/j0lnpd.jpg

[CieloAzul]

Fascinating
http://i25.tinypic.com/j0lnpd.jpg

:wow:

[The Lizard]

I thought we already determined in a previous "nice guy" debate thread that:


A.) "Nice guys" who are just constantly asskissing girls that are out out of their leagues aren't honestly "nice" - they're just desperate

and

B.) When a woman says "Why can't I find a nice guy?", what she's really saying is "Out of the guys I'm attracted to, why can't I find a nice one?"


Those two points pretty much put the argument to rest.

[Soundwave]

One of my favorite things in the world to see is the so-called "asholes" who claim to have their women in "check". They act all tough and hardcore when they are around their boys but as soon as the women they are with are tired of putting up with their b.s. and decide to leave, they go back crying and begging and pleading for her not to go. It's actually quite hilarious. I have several friends that fit this category. If only some of these women realized how much power they actually have, they would be quite dangerous.

[Whirlysplat]

If only some of these women realized how much power they actually have, they would be quite dangerous.

Or they could wear thigh high boots!

[hammy]

:huh: I'm pretty sure all women innately know they've got the power. But the good ones don't misuse it.

[ComicChick]

Not to mention that turning his body into ice power must be mucho kinky in the sheets. :up:

hadn't thought about that :ninja:

[ComicChick]

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y267/chollettcm/fashion.png

[Lighthouse]

Not to mention that turning his body into ice power must be mucho kinky in the sheets. :up:

Yes, I'm sure there is nothing sexier than having your boyfriend's skin turn to freezing cold ice, especially considering where some of that skin is located.

[Bubonic]

I thought we already determined in a previous "nice guy" debate thread that:


A.) "Nice guys" who are just constantly asskissing girls that are out out of their leagues aren't honestly "nice" - they're just desperate

and

B.) When a woman says "Why can't I find a nice guy?", what she's really saying is "Out of the guys I'm attracted to, why can't I find a nice one?"


Those two points pretty much put the argument to rest.

I don't think anyone could sum things up better then that.

[Lighthouse]

What girls want

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j6/Lighthouse27/george_clooney.jpg

What guys want

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j6/Lighthouse27/kristenbell1.jpg

Game over. Close thread.

[ComicChick]

i was never attracted to Clooney :huh:

Bell's got lazy eye lol

[Lighthouse]

i was never attracted to Clooney :huh:

Bell's got lazy eye lol

Interesting. You are the first woman I've met who isn't attracted to young George Clooney.

[SpideyVille]

I thought we already determined in a previous "nice guy" debate thread that:


A.) "Nice guys" who are just constantly asskissing girls that are out out of their leagues aren't honestly "nice" - they're just desperate

and

B.) When a woman says "Why can't I find a nice guy?", what she's really saying is "Out of the guys I'm attracted to, why can't I find a nice one?"


Those two points pretty much put the argument to rest.

Completely QFT

[ComicChick]

Interesting. You are the first woman I've met who isn't attracted to young George Clooney.

he's a good looking guy i'll admit, but he doesn't really do anything for me. just a personal preference

besides, when i think younger clooney, i can't help but think of the facts of life

[chamber-music]

What girls want

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j6/Lighthouse27/george_clooney.jpg

What guys want

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j6/Lighthouse27/kristenbell1.jpg

Game over. Close thread.

No Thanks I hate Bell :cmad:

I'll take Monica Bellucci

[LexCorp]

It's no myth

[PyroChamber]

i was never attracted to Clooney :huh:

Bell's got lazy eye lolOne thing men and women can agree on is, there will always be a situation when we don't know what one person sees in the other person.

[LexCorp]

One thing men and women can agree on is, there will always be a situation when we don't know what one person sees in the other person.

Yes because we are always on the outside looking in...

[Ghostvirus]

What girls want

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j6/Lighthouse27/george_clooney.jpg

What guys want

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j6/Lighthouse27/kristenbell1.jpg

Game over. Close thread.

Damn straight.:up: Clooney's hot...wait.

[CieloAzul]

:huh: I'm pretty sure all women innately know they've got the power. But the good ones don't misuse it.

The good ones? Who're we kidding? :whatever:

[CorpusBlack]

W-why post that in a thread by me? :csad:

I can't believe you asked that.

You gonna go on a tirade now about how the cave troll uses steroids due to his enormous size? ;)

[Drakon]

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j6/Lighthouse27/kristenbell1.jpg

I've seen a lot of pics of her, and while I don't necessarily find her "drop everything, including a load in my pants hot", she's a pretty girl. However, I will say that this is the second hottest shot of her I've seen.

[Wilhelm-Scream]

She looks like a sexual mischief-maker/feral f***-beast there, her stomach looks womanly instead of Auschwitzey, and her too-small-breasts are obscured by the black and her arms.

Very nice.

[CorpusBlack]

No Thanks I hate Bell :cmad:

I'll take Monica Bellucci

:up:

[Whirlysplat]

Scarlett Johannson for me!

[Soundwave]

:huh: I'm pretty sure all women innately know they've got the power. But the good ones don't misuse it.

Didn't mean to confuse. What I meant was that a lot of the women who let men treat them like crap don't realize how much power they have. They don't have to settle for being treated like that. I honestly don't think all women know they have this power.

[Whirlysplat]

Didn't mean to confuse. What I meant was that a lot of the women who let men treat them like crap don't realize how much power they have. They don't have to settle for being treated like that. I honestly don't think all women know they have this power.

The power of the poon.

[Soundwave]

Yep some of these guys who treat women like crap are actually very insecure people themselves and the thought of losing their trim will bring them to their knees.

[Whirlysplat]

Yep some of these guys who treat women like crap are actually very insecure people themselves and the thought of losing their trim will bring them to their knees.

The chains of love. Some will also resort to violence and even rape though.

[The Guard]

"Brian...do women like to be treated like crap"?

[turtlefocker]

"Brian...do women like to be treated like crap"?

Olivia, prepare to meet a much darker Stewie.

[The Guard]

What a great episode. Not that there's one that isn't.

[The Guard]

Question: What the heck is "trim"?

[DBella]

Because they put out, duh.
Ahh... so that's what it is!
What exactly is considered a "bad girl" anyway?
The female version of "bad boy".
So, if the women turned a 'nice guy" into an a'hole wouldn't that make him more attractive?:huh:

You know, since all girls dig a'holes.
*Gasp!*
More a-holes! Yipee!!!
I'm curious as to what kind of women you're pursuing and how you are doing it that they swoon over the first man who comes along who isn't you.

Girls want bad boys, and boys want bad girls. Tis the way of the world. People are generally idiots. And when both of them make stupid choices, and end up getting burt. I find this particular aspect of humanity hilarious. And very sad.

Yes, "nice guys" tend to finish last. But always, but as a general rule. But do you really want a girl who wants to be treated like crap and is willing to settle for the first attractive moron who comes along? Sure, she may be fun to sleep with once or twice, but then the massive insecurities pop up...
Either those people enjoy getting hurt over and over again or they are like what you described, "stupid". I guess maybe sometimes it's better to be with someone, even if they hurt you repeatedly, rather than being alone. I don't get it but people are strange.

This is going to sound f-ed up, but what I have found, is that all a woman really wants is a man who listens. Honestly listen, not listen just to get laid. They can tell.
It's not just that. I have quite a few male friends who are good listeners and good looking and yet I am not attracted to them as anything more than friends.
There's no hard and fast rule with this, I don't think. It's not just black and white. Some people just click better than others. Some people look for the wrong kind of person. Some people do it intentionally because they want what that certain kind has to offer. Some people do it without knowing. Some people think too much about it.

Some guys are naturally nice, and some guys put it on so they can take a woman by surprise before screwing her physically and mentally.

I think the nice guy thing is all about balance. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself if you're a nice guy -- embrace it, it's a good thing. Just don't be a doormat and there should be no problem. That's the only thing you should worry about.

:Balance:
Good post. :up:
I just am.
Why? Do you find nice girls boring?
It's been my observation and experience that most guys who do the 'nice guy rant' aren't actually 'nice guys'. They THINK they are 'nice guys', but they're actually passive aggressive and highly-manipulative (the 'nice guy rant' is just one of many manipulations).

Why should a girl bother with all that drama and bull****, when with a straight-forward *******, she at least knows exactly what to expect?
There are those type of 'nice guys' but there are guys out there who are genuinely nice, but most of the time I found them to be already taken.
What girls want

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j6/Lighthouse27/george_clooney.jpg


No.
Definitely not.

[Asteroid-Man]

http://www.tuckborough.net/images/cavetroll.jpg

jag
:lmao:

A-Man

[Whirlysplat]

:lmao:

A-Man

I see what you did there..... Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha:lmao:

[Asteroid-Man]

It's not that funny.

jag

[Whirlysplat]

It's not that funny.

jag

Bwahahahahahahahahaha

[Erzengel]

There are those type of 'nice guys' but there are guys out there who are genuinely nice, but most of the time I found them to be already taken.
How long did you expect me to wait? :huh:

[Asteroid-Man]

Bwahahahahahahahahaha
Your amusement is annoying.

jag

[p4poetic]

Cause everyone knows crazy girls are the best in bed.

I thought that was the shy and quiet ones?

Or maybe that was scary and plotting to take over the world I'm confusing it with...

[LexCorp]

What about the nice women?

Any guys want a girl who is really nice and respectful etc...

[Whirlysplat]

Your amusement is annoying.

jag


Epicz Bwahahahahahahahahahah Rofl 101010101111

:up:

[Neptune]

"There are 3 thing is hate:girls, women and b*tches" But i do love the ladies :yay:

[xGEMSKIx]

there is some nice girls who actually go for nice guys yano... Alot of my really good guy friends get screwed over by girls alot and its a sad thing to see... =( thankfully i have a sweet nerdy type guy.

[ComicChick]

What about the nice women?

Any guys want a girl who is really nice and respectful etc...

NO

yall never think about the nice girls when you're swamped with all the skanks and 'bad girls'

[PyroChamber]

I guess sometimes we mistake good looks with good women.

[Soundwave]

The best looking women are usually the ones with the most "issues".

[terry78]

What about the nice women?

Any guys want a girl who is really nice and respectful etc...

We are taught at birth that the chicks that look and act like prudes are the ones to avoid during your wild oats days. But when it's time to settle down that's the one to grab. To dust off the old X-Men chestnut, you marry the good one, and mess around with the bad one.

[ComicChick]

so basically us good ones have to wait around while you guys sow your oats

[spike spiegel]

so basically us good ones have to wait around while you guys sow your oats

That's the problem.

My thoughts and opinions...

It's only about excitement for some guys. It takes a looong time for them to want to actually settle down and make a commitment. But women can be just as afraid of commitment as men at the same time. I tend to raise my eyebrow when people say that "going down the block" is fun and a great time. There's more to dating than self-indulgence.

[LexCorp]

so basically us good ones have to wait around while you guys sow your oats

Not at all, my fiance and I are nice. I never had any bad girl nonsense.

[spideyboy_1111]

ummm nice guys exist.. im one of them. lol

there not myths... were just shy and stupid.

girls and in my case guys seem to wait till they have been hurt from enough bad relationships to realise they need a nice guy in the end.. just takes ungodly long patience for the "nice guy"

[LexCorp]

ummm nice guys exist.. im one of them. lol

there not myths... were just shy and stupid.

girls and in my case guys seem to wait till they have been hurt from enough bad relationships to realise they need a nice guy in the end.. just takes ungodly long patience for the "nice guy"

Yes seems to be a trend

[Superman79]

so basically us good ones have to wait around while you guys sow your oats

My oats have long been sown...wanna marry me? :p ;)

[DBella]

so basically us good ones have to wait around while you guys sow your oats
Nice girls are expected to be lonely spinsters. :(

[Superman79]

Nice girls are expected to be spinsters and lonely. :(

Not true...I love me some nice girls. :heart:

[DBella]

Not true...I love me some nice girls. :heart:
I think a girl can still be nice and yet go for what she wants.
See. Want. Have. Or at least try. Sitting around and waiting is silly and time-wasting.

[LexCorp]

Nice girls are expected to be lonely spinsters. :(

WRONG

Sorry for the drama there.

[Logan's Runt]

Categories like 'nice guy' and 'bad girl' are all myths.

[DBella]

WRONG

Sorry for the drama there.
I am NEVER wrong. Unless it's intentional.

Drama's good.

[DBella]

Categories like 'nice guy' and 'bad girl' are all myths.
How about 'good guys' and 'naughty girls'?

[Superman79]

Categories like 'nice guy' and 'bad girl' are all myths.

I thought 'bad girl' was what your hubby called you :oldrazz:

[Superman79]

How about 'good guys' and 'naughty girls'?

mmm...naughty girls...:oldrazz:

Wait! even better...'the girl next door'...with a naughty streak. :heart: :D

[DBella]

mmm...naughty girls...:oldrazz:

Wait! even better...'the girl next door'...with a naughty streak. :heart: :D
You called? :o :oldrazz:

[Logan's Runt]

How about 'good guys' and 'naughty girls'?

They're all pointless. Everybody is 'good' and 'bad' at some points, to some people. Its incredibly superficial to view someone as nothing more than a cookie cutter image of 'good' or 'bad' or '****ty' or 'shy.'

Its also bitter to classify someone a 'bad guy/girl' because it just didn't work with you.

[Logan's Runt]

I thought 'bad girl' was what your hubby called you :oldrazz:

No, that would be 'Mistress.' :o

[CorpusBlack]

They're all pointless. Everybody is 'good' and 'bad' at some points, to some people. Its incredibly superficial to view someone as nothing more than a cookie cutter image of 'good' or 'bad' or '****ty' or 'shy.'

Its also bitter to classify someone a 'bad guy/girl' because it just didn't work with you.

Agreed. I've gotten both ends of the spectrum from different girls. Depends on how the break up goes and who does it usually.

[Superman79]

You called? :o :oldrazz:

I :heart: u :D

No, that would be 'Mistress.' :o

oh...my bad...I was WAAAY off. ;)

[LexCorp]

I am NEVER wrong. Unless it's intentional.

Drama's good.

Indeed

They're all pointless. Everybody is 'good' and 'bad' at some points, to some people. Its incredibly superficial to view someone as nothing more than a cookie cutter image of 'good' or 'bad' or '****ty' or 'shy.'

Its also bitter to classify someone a 'bad guy/girl' because it just didn't work with you.

BINGO

[DarknessOfDeath]

I like classy women who can be naughty but don't over do it... ya know.

[DBella]

They're all pointless. Everybody is 'good' and 'bad' at some points, to some people. Its incredibly superficial to view someone as nothing more than a cookie cutter image of 'good' or 'bad' or '****ty' or 'shy.'

Its also bitter to classify someone a 'bad guy/girl' because it just didn't work with you.
Indeed. I've never been fond of labels. I think people are too complex for that. I think that 'good', 'bad', '****ty', 'shy' are all character traits that we all possess but we are more than just those labels.
I :heart: u :D
I know. :cwink:

Indeed

BINGO
B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! And Bingo was his name-o!
Sorry... I had to go there. :O
*Lil Miss Corny*
I like classy women who can be naughty but don't over do it... ya know.
What's a 'classy woman' to you?

[Logan's Runt]

Indeed. I've never been fond of labels. I think people are too complex for that. I think that 'good', 'bad', '****ty', 'shy' are all character traits that we all possess but we are more than just those labels.


Exactly.

[LexCorp]

Indeed. I've never been fond of labels. I think people are too complex for that. I think that 'good', 'bad', '****ty', 'shy' are all character traits that we all possess but we are more than just those labels.

I know. :cwink:


B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! And Bingo was his name-o!
Sorry... I had to go there. :O
*Lil Miss Corny*

What's a 'classy woman' to you?

Nice drama Dbella

[DarknessOfDeath]

Indeed. I've never been fond of labels. I think people are too complex for that. I think that 'good', 'bad', '****ty', 'shy' are all character traits that we all possess but we are more than just those labels.

I know. :cwink:


B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O! And Bingo was his name-o!
Sorry... I had to go there. :O
*Lil Miss Corny*

What's a 'classy woman' to you?

I have to get back to you on that. Remind me later.

[Danalys]

I know.
should be

[LexCorp]

Hmmm I like my darkside.

[ComicChick]

My oats have long been sown...wanna marry me? :p ;)

awww my first internet marriage proposal
:heart:

[WorthyStevens]

I laugh at nice guys. Being a real ******* is where it's at.

[DarknessOfDeath]

Indeed. I've never been fond of labels. I think people are too complex for that. I think that 'good', 'bad', '****ty', 'shy' are all character traits that we all possess but we are more than just those labels.

I know. :cwink:



What's a 'classy woman' to you?

A classy woman to me is when she doesn't over expose herself... I mean I don't mind if she gets a little naughty and ****ty (if she's only doing it for me ;) I like it rough too, baby), just don't over do it ya know... I like a woman who is down to earth and very open minded. Someone who knows how to have fun and be herself even if she's being cutesy. :)

Take JG for example...her personality is like... cute sea horses. -scratches his head- er... awkward.

[Colossal Spoons]

I laugh at nice guys. Being a real ******* is where it's at.

I've never liked the kind of girl *******s attract. More for you lol

[WorthyStevens]

To each their own.

[DarknessOfDeath]

-Sneezes- Hey Steve. ;) Sup Man.

[ComicChick]

I laugh at nice guys. Being a real ******* is where it's at.

i laugh at a-holes. they'll never have a shot with me.

i don't want a "nice" guy, I don't want a "bad" boy. I just want a geniune man, who has a sense of humor, is compassionate, goal oriented and has goals in life, whether in work, family, personal, etc.

of course, i could make a long boring list, but that summary is suffice for now. lol

[Colossal Spoons]

Sux that so many woman have driven guys to act like jerks in order to get their attention

[WorthyStevens]

i laugh at a-holes. they'll never have a shot with me.

I was being sarcastic. But too nice guys really do finish last from what I've seen.

[Colossal Spoons]

Nobody likes a doormat :up:

[DarknessOfDeath]

i laugh at a-holes. they'll never have a shot with me.

i don't want a "nice" guy, I don't want a "bad" boy. I just want a geniune man, who has a sense of humor, is compassionate, goal oriented and has goals in life, whether in work, family, personal, etc.

of course, i could make a long boring list, but that summary is suffice for now. lol


Am I an a-hole? and what you just mentioned, I am all of those things and stuff. You know what? I don't mind you making a boring list. Any list will do. :)

[PyroChamber]

I've never liked the kind of girl *******s attract. More for you lolSeems to me that only attractive women attract *******s.

[WorthyStevens]

Nobody likes a doormat :up:

I've learned that from experience.

[ComicChick]

I was being sarcastic. But too nice guys really do finish last from what I've seen.

i wasn't calling you out, just using your phrase and running with it. i hate guys who purposely act like pricks cuz they think it's impressive. when it's an act, it's ridiculous.

i just don't understand why people would want to be purposely jerks to someone they care about. and i could never be one of those girls who sticks around with someone who does.

[Colossal Spoons]

Seems to me that only attractive women attract *******s.

You need to move haha

[ComicChick]

Am I an a-hole? and what you just mentioned, I am all of those things and stuff. You know what? I don't mind you making a boring list. Any list will do. :)

i honestly can't comment on your a-hole status, cuz i don't really know you.

if you are all of those things, i commend you. not many men are, and even less will admit it :up: so if you're ever in Va...

lol

it takes a lot for me to consider someone an a-hole. and so far, you seem ok in my book. so don't make me change my mind:cmad:

[Colossal Spoons]

Aw, future Hype couple. You have my endorsement haha

[ComicChick]

Seems to me that only attractive women attract *******s.

you'd be surprised how many pricks go after women they don't find attractive just to manipulate them and make them think they can't do any better.

[DarknessOfDeath]

i honestly can't comment on your a-hole status, cuz i don't really know you.

if you are all of those things, i commend you. not many men are, and even less will admit it :up: so if you're ever in Va...

lol

it takes a lot for me to consider someone an a-hole. and so far, you seem ok in my book. so don't make me change my mind:cmad:


I don't know you either, but knowing one another will take time. So..on that note. Hi. Ask me anything. :up:

[Colossal Spoons]

you'd be surprised how many pricks go after women they don't find attractive just to manipulate them and make them think they can't do any better.

Psychological abuse FTL

[ComicChick]

Aw, future Hype couple. You have my endorsement haha

lol

i dont think anyone could compete with the Colossal Pickles combo

or would yall prefer AndtheSpoons

[AndThePickles]

I don't feel like reading the essay that is the first post :o BUT- I know for myself, I love a nice guy, but not a pushover. Big difference. I like a nice guy who is confident.

[Colossal Spoons]

lol

i dont think anyone could compete with the Colossal Pickles combo

or would yall prefer AndtheSpoons

Aw, we're old news. Sooo 2005 lol

[AndThePickles]

Seems to me that only attractive women attract *******s.

Haha, are you implying that I'm unattractive since Spoons liked me enough to date me? :o

[WorthyStevens]

i wasn't calling you out, just using your phrase and running with it. i hate guys who purposely act like pricks cuz they think it's impressive. when it's an act, it's ridiculous.

i just don't understand why people would want to be purposely jerks to someone they care about. and i could never be one of those girls who sticks around with someone who does.

It happens. I don't get it, but it does.

[AndThePickles]

Joking aside though Pyro, ALL women attract *******s. We don't do it on purpose, they're just all over the place :down

[ComicChick]

Joking aside though Pyro, ALL women attract *******s. We don't do it on purpose, they're just all over the place :down

qft :up:

i absolutely hate my job when the ships come back from deployment. not only do i live in the city with the world's largest naval base, but I work at a military store.

so when they come back from all those months on the ships, the jerkiest pricks come in the store and hit on all the females. they act like hornballs who've never seen a female before. :cmad:

[SpideyVille]

qft :up:

i absolutely hate my job when the ships come back from deployment. not only do i live in the city with the world's largest naval base, but I work at a military store.

so when they come back from all those months on the ships, the jerkiest pricks come in the store and hit on all the females. they act like hornballs who've never seen a female before. :cmad:

sadly i've seen many girls go ga-ga for guys who act like this and i just don't get it. It makes me wonder what am i doing wrong and is this really what girls want from us guys.

[ComicChick]

sadly i've seen many girls go ga-ga for guys who act like this and i just don't get it. It makes me wonder what am i doing wrong and is this really what girls want from us guys.

ask instead;

is this really the type of girl i want?

i really hate girls like that who give real ladies a bad name. the media is good for exploiting celebs and their partying, or their pantiless crotch shots and whatnot, and in a twisted way, it becomes impressionable on some ppl that this is the way you're supposed to act.

i think it's ridiculous. i'm not gonna act like an idiot or wear skimpy clothes i don't feel comfortable in just to impress some guy. if you can't love me in my t-shirt and jeans as much as you love me in a barely there halter top, then i don't want you in my life. 'nuff said

[SpideyVille]

ask instead;

is this really the type of girl i want?

i really hate girls like that who give real ladies a bad name. the media is good for exploiting celebs and their partying, or their pantiless crotch shots and whatnot, and in a twisted way, it becomes impressionable on some ppl that this is the way you're supposed to act.

i think it's ridiculous. i'm not gonna act like an idiot or wear skimpy clothes i don't feel comfortable in just to impress some guy. if you can't love me in my t-shirt and jeans as much as you love me in a barely there halter top, then i don't want you in my life. 'nuff said

completely agree :up:

i've seen plenty of nice, sweet girls that i've known for years just instantly change their image and personality for no real reason. I mean it's like is that really what it takes to be socially acceptable these days?

I consider myself to be old-fashioned (even though i'm fairly young). i try to do things that a gentlemen is supposed to do for a girl, but yet whenever i try to get with a girl, i end up heartbroken and hurt because they always end up ignoring me while waiting for some big and cocky dude that won't give two ***** about her in a week or two.

I really don't know anymore, is that what the world has come to these days, where a guy who generally cares about a girl and is willing to spill out all his feelings to her, can't get what he wants because it's no longer what's acceptable these days. I've had friends try to hook me up with girls just to get action, but when i don't because there's no feelings or connections between us, they look at me like something's wrong with me :huh:.

[DarknessOfDeath]

I feel for ya. I know what thats like :(

[SpideyVille]

Yea it pretty much sums up the last 5 years of my life

[ComicChick]

completely agree :up:

I consider myself to be old-fashioned (even though i'm fairly young). i try to do things that a gentlemen is supposed to do for a girl, but yet whenever i try to get with a girl, i end up heartbroken and hurt because they always end up ignoring me while waiting for some big and cocky dude that won't give two ***** about her in a week or two.

I really don't know anymore, is that what the world has come to these days, where a guy who generally cares about a girl and is willing to spill out all his feelings to her, can't get what he wants because it's no longer what's acceptable these days. I've had friends try to hook me up with girls just to get action, but when i don't because there's no feelings or connections between us, they look at me like something's wrong with me :huh:.

i'm old fashioned myself, and it feels sometimes like i'm in my own world. i've never been a fling kind of girl and that concept seems so lost of some of my friends. i could never be a gold digger and can't stand girls who use men for money. i'm simplistic. i don't need a big fancy car or a diamond on my finger. just care about me and treat me good and that's all i'll ever ask for.

but it seems like no one else has the same ideals as me lol

[PyroChamber]

Joking aside though Pyro, ALL women attract *******s. We don't do it on purpose, they're just all over the place :downTrue.

But when it comes to dating it's mostly all about the woman anyway. A woman will usually know if she'll give a guy the time of day within five minutes (or seconds) of meeting him. So if a guy is a douchebag, and she knows it and still decides to be with him, then hey I guess she gets what she deserves.

I sometimes think men and women see guys in a different way. We'll see a good for nothing piss strain who doesn't deserve the girl he's with while a woman might see a sensitive and charming guy who "needs a good woman". Which in hindsight is usually what a "bad boy" is anyway; a guy that'll treat everyone like **** except his woman, so as long as she's happy it really doesn't matter how he is.

And Pickles, I'm not calling you unattractive. Hell, I don't even know what you look like. :grin:

[SpideyVille]

i'm old fashioned myself, and it feels sometimes like i'm in my own world. i've never been a fling kind of girl and that concept seems so lost of some of my friends. i could never be a gold digger and can't stand girls who use men for money. i'm simplistic. i don't need a big fancy car or a diamond on my finger. just care about me and treat me good and that's all i'll ever ask for.

but it seems like no one else has the same ideals as me lol

Yea most of my friends think i'm weird because i don't put sex first when when it comes to a relationship. For me, all i care about is having that person there, and have them care for me as much as i do for them, everything else should be a result of this. I mean how can you build a relationship of any kind when you lack the things that make up the basic foundation?

And i wouldn't really say i've been through a lot, but from what i have been through, i've learned a lot. I too used to think something was wrong with me so i would try everything, whether it was buying an expensive gift or change myself or my looks, all because i honestly didn't know what was supposed work or not. But after all that i see the problem was never me, it was all the girls i went after. I've had random girls talk to me and end up telling me i'd make a good bf, but yet the girls i went after couldn't see this because they were either too stuck up in themselves, or waiting for mr. popular to show up and sweep them off their feet.

[ComicChick]

Yea most of my friends think i'm weird because i don't put sex first when when it comes to a relationship. For me, all i care about is having that person there, and have them care for me as much as i do for them, everything else should be a result of this. I mean how can you build a relationship of any kind when you lack the things that make up the basic foundation?

And i wouldn't really say i've been through a lot, but from what i have been through, i've learned a lot. I too used to think something was wrong with me so i would try everything, whether it was buying an expensive gift or change myself or my looks, all because i honestly didn't know what was supposed work or not. But after all that i see the problem was never me, it was all the girls i went after. I've had random girls talk to me and end up telling me i'd make a good bf, but yet the girls i went after couldn't see this because they were either too stuck up in themselves, or waiting for mr. popular to show up and sweep them off their feet.


glad you've learned to stop trying to please everyone cuz you never can. i've learned that as well.

my friends have thought the same of me. while some of them can go out and have one night stands with no attachment and no worries afterwards, i'm not the kind of girl who can do that. i'm not a fling chick and I don't think i'd ever want to be. i want something meaningful and lasting, not just a romp in the sheets and a "see ya around never". some of my friends, and others i've noticed, just feel like they have to be with somebody. i don't mind being single until i find someone worth trying to pursue a relationship with.

now all we need is all the a-holes and jerks, of BOTH GENDERS, to get their heads out of their butts and act like they got some sense and everything would be soo much better for everyone else lol.

[GL1]

my friends have thought the same of me. while some of them can go out and have one night stands with no attachment and no worries afterwards, i'm not the kind of girl who can do that. i'm not a fling chick and I don't think i'd ever want to be. i want something meaningful and lasting, not just a romp in the sheets and a "see ya around never". some of my friends, and others i've noticed, just feel like they have to be with somebody. i don't mind being single until i find someone worth trying to pursue a relationship with.

APPLAUSE!!!!!!!

The thing about the Myth of the Nice Guy is that it is very much a myth. We all have faults and failings, some of us just don't have mistreating women on our list. Guys like that, thinking rationally, are naturally amazed when all women, especially ones who make great efforts to stand out, do not value that particular trait, but such is life.

My present theory is that certain girls think of love and relationship the same way some guys do sports. They love the thrill, love the game and rules and even if they get hurt, they want to get back in it ASAP for the love of the game. They'll play a team (get a partner), even one that they'll lose to, if they think it might be fun, or that they might learn something new. Being Injured is as far back in this kind of woman's mind as it is in Eli Manning's. That's my current theory, anyway.

The other thing about the Frustration of the Nice Guy is that there we, as nice guys, often overlook nice girls for reasons just as flimsy, and the whole thing is a lot more 'fair' than I had originally perceived in high school and college.

At some point, I had to admit that I was really looking for just one girl (or at the very least, one at a time) and I didn't need all women to be sane or rational on any level. Let them be stupid.

[terry78]

The nice guys become desirable once they hit their late 20's. When you're young, you don't care if someone can support you and be nice, because that's boring.

[GL1]

Kudos on the succinct version. A man of efficiency.

[ComicChick]

The nice guys become desirable once they hit their late 20's. When you're young, you don't care if someone can support you and be nice, because that's boring.

thats what i'm looking for :huh:

im done playing games. i know what i want in life and i want a guy who knows the same.

i just think thats why you see some young women with much older guys (eww btw) because they feel they've matured more than the males their age and are ready to settle down while some are "sowing their oats"

[AndThePickles]

thats what i'm looking for :huh:

im done playing games. i know what i want in life and i want a guy who knows the same.

i just think thats why you see some young women with much older guys (eww btw) because they feel they've matured more than the males their age and are ready to settle down while some are "sowing their oats"

I hate oat sowers :cmad:

[spideyboy_1111]

"nice guys" arn't a myth... it's just usually what the guy calls him self who doesn't get dates... until much later, after the girls been through a bunch of A-holes. i know of plenty of the "nice guys"

[Superman79]

awww my first internet marriage proposal
:heart:

I do what I can ;)

[Colossal Spoons]

^SWEET avatar! :D

[Figs]

"nice guys" arn't a myth... it's just usually what the guy calls him self who doesn't get dates... until much later, after the girls been through a bunch of A-holes. i know of plenty of the "nice guys"


That's what I hate though, the girls who should be left on the street lol.

They **** on the nice guys throughout their youth but, when it's time to settle down and they need someone with stability and more importantly $$$ they go to the nice guy. :whatever:

I won't settle for loose ass women that wouldn't give me the time of day when I was younger.

[The Guard]

I wouldn't say that women drive men to act like jerks to get their attention. It's more of a broad social thing. That is the behavior that tends to be rewarded in certain circles. Monkey see, monkey do and all that. If Nice Guy wants a particular girl, and he sees The Jerk treat Nice Girl like crap, which usually involves some form of abandonment, ignoring her, demeaning her, etc, and she responds to that, why wouldn't the Nice Guy want to go that route? Especially if he wants that girl?

I place some (not all) of the blame with the people who reward this kind of behavior. Quit rewarding that kind of behavior as a group, and you will quit having to deal with it. But people want things easy and they want things that are socially acceptable and valued (usually "looks" and "prestige", and they seem willing to put up with a lot of crap to have those things. While I understand that thinking to a point...I've never truly understood that.

is this really the type of girl i want?

Good question. I think a lot of the time, the kinds of girls we "want" are informed by social expectations about what we, as men, are supposed to want and need. Especially in high school and college.

But when it comes to dating it's mostly all about the woman anyway. A woman will usually know if she'll give a guy the time of day within five minutes (or seconds) of meeting him. So if a guy is a douchebag, and she knows it and still decides to be with him, then hey I guess she gets what she deserves.

I'd tend to agree.

The other thing about the Frustration of the Nice Guy is that there we, as nice guys, often overlook nice girls for reasons just as flimsy, and the whole thing is a lot more 'fair' than I had originally perceived in high school and college.

Exactly. a lot of Nice Girls put up with the exact same thing on the other end of the spectrum. One of the saddest days of my life was when I realized I'd been upset at people for doing what I myself had been doing for years.

The nice guys become desirable once they hit their late 20's. When you're young, you don't care if someone can support you and be nice, because that's boring.

The nice guys become desirable to certain women as they get older. Others are still stuck in their "high school" phase.

I've seen the phenomenon from both sides. I've been a nice guy, and I've been a bad boy, and I've been a jerk, and I've been something in between, which is, I think most women actually want, but the guys simply don't live up to, either for lack of understanding, or lack of trying.

When you're a nice guy, even if you have certain attributes that a girl would respond to, they tend to overlook your other attributes if you don't display them outright, and she often places you into the role of "friend" or "confidante". Does that mean she's stupid? No, it means she's smart. If she can get what she wants, who cares where she gets it from, or if she gets different elements of what she needs from multiple sources? At that point it's your fault if you stay in a "relationship" you don't want to be in when the feelings you have aren't being reciprocated.

And it often takes being able to say "Screw you, I'm not going to act as your support mechanism/boyfriend with no benefits" to get out of such a role and to stop being labeled as such. and that's not easy to do, especially if you really do care about someone.

Bad boys/jerks aren't always actually jerks. At least they often don't intend to be. They are sometimes labeled jerks because they use what they know and what has been deemed socially acceptable in order to display confidence: treat people like crap, or resort to crude sexuality. Girls can see through this, to the intent behind the pathetic attempt at machismo. Most men can't.

It's been my experience that girls want confidence (a little ego now and then doesn't exactly turn most of them off) and empathy and they want a sense of humor and some sort of social talent/ability to provide. And they want you to know when to utilize your strengths and weaknesses.

I'm curious, though. I want to see these "lists".

[Superman79]

^SWEET avatar! :D

Thanks Spoons :up:

[PyroChamber]

What about if a woman dumps a guy simply because he's treating her good?

[terry78]

What about if a woman dumps a guy simply because he's treatly her good?

That might translate to, "I need a challenge." Chicks get bored VERY easily. I learned that **** the hard way in high school.

[PyroChamber]

So women want a challenge, while men don't I guess. Damn, some women are never satisified.

[AndThePickles]

So women want a challenge, while men don't I guess. Damn, some women are never satisified.

Not true, many men dump women because of boredom.

[Daisy]

That might translate to, "I need a challenge." Chicks get bored VERY easily. I learned that **** the hard way in high school.

Oh yes... and guys are known for their long attention-spans. :o

[AndThePickles]

Oh yes... and guys are known for their long attention-spans. :o

:heart:

[terry78]

:p :o

[SpideyVille]

my friends have thought the same of me. while some of them can go out and have one night stands with no attachment and no worries afterwards, i'm not the kind of girl who can do that. i'm not a fling chick and I don't think i'd ever want to be. i want something meaningful and lasting, not just a romp in the sheets and a "see ya around never". some of my friends, and others i've noticed, just feel like they have to be with somebody. i don't mind being single until i find someone worth trying to pursue a relationship with.

Yeah i used to be like this. I used to get so depressed that everyone i knew had someone while i didn't. Luckily i've learned better than this. There's nothing wrong with being single as long as you're not just staying that way to stay out of a commitment.

i just think thats why you see some young women with much older guys (eww btw) because they feel they've matured more than the males their age and are ready to settle down while some are "sowing their oats"

I honestly can't understand the whole concept of ""sowing wild oats". I mean since when did guys feel like they needed it.

I wouldn't say that women drive men to act like jerks to get their attention. It's more of a broad social thing. That is the behavior that tends to be rewarded in certain circles. Monkey see, monkey do and all that. If Nice Guy wants a particular girl, and he sees The Jerk treat Nice Girl like crap, which usually involves some form of abandonment, ignoring her, demeaning her, etc, and she responds to that, why wouldn't the Nice Guy want to go that route? Especially if he wants that girl?

Yeah i remember having a convo about my girl troubles with a group of friends, and there was this one guy who was telling me to act like a jerk to some chick, and telling me to change the whole 'nice guy' routine. Yet after he left, some of the girls in the group reminded me not to change because girls aren't looking for guy that act like jerks, and that i was taking the right approach so i shouldn't be worrying, it all depends on the character of the girl. And unfortunately the character of all the girls i went after were the sad kind that preferred these "jerks" over the "nice guy"

Good question. I think a lot of the time, the kinds of girls we "want" are informed by social expectations about what we, as men, are supposed to want and need. Especially in high school and college.Yeah i hate when girls act a certain way because they think that's what guys want, because in reality it's what some guys want not all.

I'm curious, though. I want to see these "lists".Yeah, let's see these lists

[LexCorp]

What about if a woman dumps a guy simply because he's treatly her good?

Then the woman has issues....and that leaves the guy better off.

[PyroChamber]

^Some women think that if a guy is being nice to them then the guy automatically wants sex.

[LexCorp]

^Some women think that if a guy is being nice to them then the guy automatically wants sex.

Then the woman has issues....and that leaves the guy better off.

[The Guard]

But he usually does want sex...

[SpideyVille]

^Some women think that if a guy is being nice to them then the guy automatically wants sex.

So true, and it sucks for those of us who aren't thinking like that.

But he usually does want sex...

Not all guys are like that.

[The Guard]

Not all guys are like that.

Which would be why I said "usually". But generally, I would say men who treat women nicely desire some form of intimacy with her. Or they'd either not treat the woman well, or they'd ignore her entirely.

[Eggyman]

I do agree with Guard on this one. Although I do understand that it's not always the case . . . just like he said with 'usually'.

[SpideyVille]

Which would be why I said "usually". But generally, I would say men who treat women nicely desire some form of intimacy with her. Or they'd either not treat the woman well, or they'd ignore her entirely.

I understand what you mean, its just that the way i interpreted it at first was that all guys usually want sex, rather than some guys always want sex. But I for one can say sex is never the first thing on my mind when i see a girl i like. I feel like sex should be a result of a string relationship, not the cause.

When I'm nice to a girl, it's not because I expect something back from her, it's because i feel it's the right thing to do. I'm nice to a friend that's a girl because she's a friend and i should be nice to her. When i see a girl drop something I'll pick it up for her, or if i'm walking through a door, I'll hold it open for her. The problem isn't that I'm thinking of sex when i'm nice to them, the problem is the girl thinking that that's all i'm thinking of. Because if it were a guy who dropped something, or is walking through the door, i'd still be nice to them, and that doesn't mean i'm only thinking of sex with that guy. And that's why i hate it when girls think we think like that because it's not true. Sure there are guys who actually think like that, but that doesn't mean that the girl should disregard these acts from one guy because she thinks he's like all guys.

[Ice-man]

Than shot i hope i don't get dumped soon, im a very laid back chill kind person, I'm not very loud or outgoing, and i choose to be that way simply cuz more people can tolerate a laid back guy.

i didnt know it would make us uninteresting =/

[The Kid]

Yeah i remember having a convo about my girl troubles with a group of friends, and there was this one guy who was telling me to act like a jerk to some chick, and telling me to change the whole 'nice guy' routine. Yet after he left, some of the girls in the group reminded me not to change because girls aren't looking for guy that act like jerks, and that i was taking the right approach so i shouldn't be worrying, it all depends on the character of the girl. And unfortunately the character of all the girls i went after were the sad kind that preferred these "jerks" over the "nice guy"


You'll seriously increase your chances of scoring if you act like a jerk though. I say that with absolute certainty. The same girls who instructed me (as you were too) to be respectful to women yadda yadda yadda, become putty in the hands of the most brutish bone heads there are. when they get older they'll lose that sort of weakness i guess.

oh and by jerk, I mean act like she's not important and you don't give a **** about her... it's the old Tom Sawyer white washing trick. The reason women want the asses is because they can't have them.

^Some women think that if a guy is being nice to them then the guy automatically wants sex.

Zrl5sYmApcI

[AndThePickles]

Then the woman has issues....and that leaves the guy better off.

No offense, but this is a very naive post. Most men who hit on women in a social setting DO just want to get laid. It's harder to find the man who is looking for a long term relationship from the get-go, and unless you specify that right away (which could also be a turn-off, because it makes you sound rushed), a lot of women can't help but assume the guy just wants sex.

Pretty much, a woman can always assume a man wants to **** her, but just has to choose if she should keep talking to the guy and see what happens.

[Eggyman]

No offense, but this is a very naive post. Most men who hit on women in a social setting DO just want to get laid. It's harder to find the man who is looking for a long term relationship from the get-go, and unless you specify that right away (which could also be a turn-off, because it makes you sound rushed), a lot of women can't help but assume the guy just wants sex.

Pretty much, a woman can always assume a man wants to **** her, but just has to choose if she should keep talking to the guy and see what happens.

I believe Lex was talking about a woman who finishes a guy because he treats her well. That's what he was replying to. He wasn't, as far as I can see, addressing the matter of first meetings. The way I read the posts was that this was already an existing relationship where little to no assumptions need to be made concerning intentions and such.

And in those circumstances, I agree with his post. :yay:

Edit: Sorry for the mix up. He said the same thing in two different posts. ;)

[The Guard]

I understand what you mean, its just that the way i interpreted it at first was that all guys usually want sex, rather than some guys always want sex.

You know, I think you could make the argument that most guys usually want sex and not have too much dissent. :).

But I for one can say sex is never the first thing on my mind when i see a girl i like. I feel like sex should be a result of a string relationship, not the cause.

I can't argue with that approach, though I can't say I subscribe to it in all cases.

When I'm nice to a girl, it's not because I expect something back from her, it's because i feel it's the right thing to do. I'm nice to a friend that's a girl because she's a friend and i should be nice to her.

Awww.

When i see a girl drop something I'll pick it up for her, or if i'm walking through a door, I'll hold it open for her.

Rapist. That's what one of my college professors called me when she asked if anyone did these things. Then she explained herself. Apparently when you do, women will think you are more likely to rape or hurt them in some way.

Weird, huh?

The problem isn't that I'm thinking of sex when i'm nice to them, the problem is the girl thinking that that's all i'm thinking of.

That is a bit of an issue. I would say that this girl clearly is not very intelligent on some level. It's never "all about sex". It could be about power, or f0riendship, or companionship, or shared intimacy, but even for the men who just want sex, it's never just about sex. :)

Because if it were a guy who dropped something, or is walking through the door, i'd still be nice to them, and that doesn't mean i'm only thinking of sex with that guy.

And that's why i hate it when girls think we think like that because it's not true. Sure there are guys who actually think like that, but that doesn't mean that the girl should disregard these acts from one guy because she thinks he's like all guys.

It's been my experience that guy actually thinks like that, even if he says he does. If all he wanted was sex, he would go purchase one of those love dolls. Usually men crave some degree of power or intimacy or combination of these.

Than shot i hope i don't get dumped soon, im a very laid back chill kind person, I'm not very loud or outgoing, and i choose to be that way simply cuz more people can tolerate a laid back guy.

i didnt know it would make us uninteresting =/

It only makes you uninteresting to women who are too shallow to see anything but the surface of a person.

This is an unfortunate (but interesting) social element. It's not about women only, it's about people's perceptions in general. Most people are very tuned into "surface" features. They cannot see what lies beneath, and they don't know how to look past what can be easily seen. That, or they're lazy and they don't want to. So you have to basically make a display of who you are if you want people to see that part of you. Just like animals. Think about it...in nature, is it the laid back animals that score with the desirable females, or is it the ones who are quiet and hide what they have to offer?

And some females LIKE men who are quiet, and that's a whole other ballgame.

You'll seriously increase your chances of scoring if you act like a jerk though.

No, you'll increase your chances of scoring if you visibily demonstrate who you are and what you have to offer, and it fits into something that is socially accepted.

A lot of the time, jerks win out because they are simply more demonstrative. That, and they tend to have better surface attributes, which leads to the mindset of them not having to try with women, and so they act like jerks.

I say that with absolute certainty. The same girls who instructed me (as you were too) to be respectful to women yadda yadda yadda, become putty in the hands of the most brutish bone heads there are. when they get older they'll lose that sort of weakness i guess.

Right, but do they become putty because the men are jerks, or because the men demonstrate an ability to exert control, and some level of confidence?

Don't look for that weakness to just disappear as they get older. It just doesn't work that way with most people.

oh and by jerk, I mean act like she's not important and you don't give a **** about her... it's the old Tom Sawyer white washing trick. The reason women want the asses is because they can't have them.

Actually, the reason women usually want the asses is because someone else wants them, which makes them appear more desirable. Monkey see, monkey do.

No offense, but this is a very naive post. Most men who hit on women in a social setting DO just want to get laid. It's harder to find the man who is looking for a long term relationship from the get-go, and unless you specify that right away (which could also be a turn-off, because it makes you sound rushed), a lot of women can't help but assume the guy just wants sex.

And even if he wants a long term relationship, odds are he'll still want sex on some level.

[AndThePickles]

And even if he wants a long term relationship, odds are he'll still want sex on some level.

Haha well yeah. I just meant a "wham bam, thank you ma'am" :cwink: The woman still wants sex too, just not everyone wants a one night stand. However, there are still plenty of women who want that, too.

[Dangerous]

Women are stupid because = you can control the way they think.

[Colossal Spoons]

Idk about "control", but you can often predict it. I take great pleasure in watching women be women.

[PyroChamber]

Sometimes I just think women have strange ways of thinking.

[spike spiegel]

"Mood ring oh mood ring
Oh tell me will you bring
The key to unlock this mystery
Of girls and their emotions
Play it back in slow motion
So that I may understand the complex infrastructure that is the female mind"

But seriously, men and women do have different psychology to them, but I think we're more alike than we may tend to think.

[Eggyman]

It's a problem created by both sides. There's some truth, and then there's also some injustice.

Truth: Some nice guys CAN be snivelling and spineless, earning no respect from the woman who may want more than a lap dog.

Injustice: Not all nice guys are like that ^. Don't generalise.

:)

[The Kid]

No, you'll increase your chances of scoring if you visibily demonstrate who you are and what you have to offer, and it fits into something that is socially accepted.

I can't bring myself to believe that anymore. Maybe it works in some social atmosphere's more than others but definitely not where i come from.

A lot of the time, jerks win out because they are simply more demonstrative. That, and they tend to have better surface attributes, which leads to the mindset of them not having to try with women, and so they act like jerks.

True and the jerks out there I believe are not only more persistent but evoke an overwhelming sense of sexual dominance which I've discovered is a factor in whether you get some. Sometimes it just comes down to those simple primal instincts.

Right, but do they become putty because the men are jerks, or because the men demonstrate an ability to exert control, and some level of confidence?

I'm almost completely certain it's about their ability to demonstrate their sexual dominance which is unfortunately linked to how cold hearted and cruel they can be. (Screw it, I am completely certain.) We have to find some kind of balance between being tender and being callous... fun. i believe you said something about that earlier.

Don't look for that weakness to just disappear as they get older. It just doesn't work that way with most people.

Damn...

Actually, the reason women usually want the asses is because someone else wants them, which makes them appear more desirable. Monkey see, monkey do.

true.

And even if he wants a long term relationship, odds are he'll still want sex on some level.

Damn right.

[ComicChick]

its all about the nice guys lol, what bout the nice girls? we get no love either

and i can't speak for all females, just myself, but i find the acting like a jerk completely unattractive. when you're trying to act like a jerk to get with a girl or something, the key word is act. i'm not attracted to guys who try to brag and show off or try to put on airs to impress people.

it's what you do when you think no one is watching that i look out for.

there was a guy i was 'talking to' at one point, totally cool and everything around me, one time he didn't think anyone was around, his true self came out. complete and utter prick. i wasn't attracted to him after that.

and on the other hand, so i don't appear a hypocrite. there has been a guy or two that i wasn't initially really attracted to, but once i saw him when he didn't know i was around, i saw some of the good things he did/said/etc, i grew more attracted.

[DarknessOfDeath]

its all about the nice guys lol, what bout the nice girls? we get no love either

and i can't speak for all females, just myself, but i find the acting like a jerk completely unattractive. when you're trying to act like a jerk to get with a girl or something, the key word is act. i'm not attracted to guys who try to brag and show off or try to put on airs to impress people.

it's what you do when you think no one is watching that i look out for.

there was a guy i was 'talking to' at one point, totally cool and everything around me, one time he didn't think anyone was around, his true self came out. complete and utter prick. i wasn't attracted to him after that.

and on the other hand, so i don't appear a hypocrite. there has been a guy or two that i wasn't initially really attracted to, but once i saw him when he didn't know i was around, i saw some of the good things he did/said/etc, i grew more attracted.


Hi.:)

[SpideyVille]

its all about the nice guys lol, what bout the nice girls? we get no love either

and i can't speak for all females, just myself, but i find the acting like a jerk completely unattractive. when you're trying to act like a jerk to get with a girl or something, the key word is act. i'm not attracted to guys who try to brag and show off or try to put on airs to impress people.

it's what you do when you think no one is watching that i look out for.

there was a guy i was 'talking to' at one point, totally cool and everything around me, one time he didn't think anyone was around, his true self came out. complete and utter prick. i wasn't attracted to him after that.

and on the other hand, so i don't appear a hypocrite. there has been a guy or two that i wasn't initially really attracted to, but once i saw him when he didn't know i was around, i saw some of the good things he did/said/etc, i grew more attracted.

some people might find that creepy :rolleyes:
but i understand what you're saying

[ComicChick]

some people might find that creepy :rolleyes:
but i understand what you're saying

if you take it literally lol, yeah it does sound kinda creepy/stalkerish.

but seriously though, you can really tell fake people from sincere just by observing them 'when the cameras are off' so to speak.

that's why those hidden camera shows used to be such a hit, cuz it shows how ppl really act, no chance to put up facades and crap

[SpideyVille]

if you take it literally lol, yeah it does sound kinda creepy/stalkerish.

but seriously though, you can really tell fake people from sincere just by observing them 'when the cameras are off' so to speak.

that's why those hidden camera shows used to be such a hit, cuz it shows how ppl really act, no chance to put up facades and crap

lol yeah i know what you mean. I used to do the same thing whenever i was around a girl. I would always try to "be on my best behavior" in the event that maybe she was watching me at all times. I eventually realized that doing that wouldn't help me as much as i thought. Sure she might be interested in me, but if she would try to get to know me she would just be disappointed to find out that inside i'm not the same as i was trying to be outside, and then she'll completely lose interest. Now I'd rather just be myself at all times, that way if a girl becomes interested, i'd know it's for being who i am not someone else.

[ComicChick]

lol yeah i know what you mean. I used to do the same thing whenever i was around a girl. I would always try to "be on my best behavior" in the event that maybe she was watching me at all times. I eventually realized that doing that wouldn't help me as much as i thought. Sure she might be interested in me, but if she would try to get to know me she would just be disappointed to find out that inside i'm not the same as i was trying to be outside, and then she'll completely lose interest. Now I'd rather just be myself at all times, that way if a girl becomes interested, i'd know it's for being who i am not someone else.

:up:

switch the genders at the appropriate parts and i can relate

[The Kid]

So if a guy has no confidence, no humor, no money, he'll have to beat you nice girls off with a stick?

....

I think every guy here knows that's not true. We have to put up a fascade. Since this a comicbook forum, compare it to a secret identity vs the superhero.

[SpideyVille]

I think every guy here knows that's not true. We have to put up a fascade. Since this a comicbook forum, compare it to a secret identity vs the superhero.


But that's the thing. It shouldn't have to be that. You should be able to love someone for who they are not who they try to be. And sure, you can compare it to having the dual identity, but does it always work out when heroes do that? When the hero's love interest finds out about the dual identity, they are shocked to discover the person they loved was keeping a big secret from them and realize that they truly don't know that person as well as they think. Then they have to decide whether they'll stay with the person and accept them for who they are and work things out, or leave the person because they see the person as a completely different person. That's the risk you take when you decide to put up a facade. And if a person can't love you for who you really are, there's no point in being with that person because the side that you hide will eventually come out and they're going to disappointed that they were decieved like that.

[terry78]

She Says vs. He Says: Do Girls Really Like Dating Jerks?

By Christine Hassler and Jason Ryan Dorsey
Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Feb 24, 2008
Christine Hassler and Jason Ryan Dorsey




SHE SAYS: No, but we think we do. As someone who dated a jerk, whom I now refer to as my "learning experience," I admit to falling under the jerk spell.
Here's how the jerk spell works: we meet the jerk and in some twisted way are seduced by his confidence, charm, and passion. We don't see these as the disguises they are: confidence is really arrogance, charm comes from him being a player, and his passion is being the center of his own universe.
“The jerk sniffs out our insecurities and uses them to reel us in with compliments that eventually turn into criticisms.”
The jerk sniffs out our insecurities and uses them to reel us in with compliments that eventually turn into criticisms. And if we see a red flag, like the time my "learning experience" told me his definition of a relationship was "light, fun and physical," we play mind games with ourselves. We use our normally rational inner voice to convince ourselves that we can tame him or that with the right kind of girlfriend he will lose his jerk armor and transform into a leading man fit for a romantic comedy. Come on ladies, what are we thinking?!
A jerk loves being a jerk -- way more than he loves us. I guess if they've always gotten away with treating people poorly and nobody ever set them straight, why would they change? Besides, a jerk seems to always have an attractive woman on his arm laughing at his mediocre jokes and ignoring his wandering gaze. How? I think it's because deep down every woman wants a challenge or a little danger. It's not really the jerk we like; it's the thrill of the chase, the rush of adrenaline when the jerk's phone number pops up on our cell (which is usually right after last call).
However, it's been my experience that "jerkdom" isn't some phase we can pull a guy out of. Guys only outgrow that phase when life no longer succumbs to their demands. Any woman who has dated a jerk for more than a week knows that it's a hollow relationship that ultimately leaves you disappointed, hurt, and commiserating with your friends.
The only challenge worth overcoming when dating a jerk is to not let him affect or define your self worth. So if there is a jerk out there making your heart go pitter-pat and estrogen is messing with your reasoning, go ahead and let him woo you, but when he asks for your number tell him that you only date guys who prove their value by respecting a woman. If he's a jerk he'll roll his eyes, say you have an attitude and snicker as he leaves. If he sincerely accepts your ground rules, then chances are you should give him at least one date to prove he's relationship material. Although you may not be spellbound at first, the nice guy without all the smooth answers may ultimately fulfill your needs in more meaningful ways.
HE SAYS: As much as I hate to say it, girls love jerks! At least until the jerk stops calling, which is usually right after he gets what he wants. Speaking from the guy's perspective, I've never quite understood what draws sane, attractive, bright women to guys who act like jerks. Maybe it is the thrill of the unexpected. Maybe it is trying to outplay him in his own game. Maybe it is hoping that deep down he is a nice guy and you are going to prove it to your naysayer friends. What I do know is that too many women who could easily be in a healthy relationship instead choose the cliffhanger ending of dating a jerk that walks with a swagger, winks at anything that moves, and always has a one-liner at the ready.
“Truth be told, there aren't many nice guys who haven't considered acting like a jerk, especially when they steal your girl”
Truth be told, there aren't many nice guys who haven't considered acting like a jerk, especially when they steal your girl (here I speak from experience). However, daydreaming of jerkdom fades as soon as nice guys remember one thing: being a jerk means acting like a jerk all the time. That means causing the mental pain and emotional anguish that drives a girl to phone her friends -- guy friends included -- crying about what the jerk did to her in public on their first date. Even guys bear the brunt of girls who fall head over heels for jerks.
If you're a girl who feels worse about yourself with every jerk you date, I hope you will make a big move towards respecting yourself and go on a date with a nice guy. They may not offer the drama and constant criticism you've come to expect, but they also won't try to hook up with you after dropping off their other girlfriend. And if you are having trouble distinguishing between a jerk and a nice guy, here are three ways to tell:

1. He's probably a jerk if he tells you to skip desert because your butt already jiggles enough.
2. He's definitely a jerk if he "guilts" you into doing things that make you feel bad about yourself -- usually starting with the line "If you really cared about me..."
3. He's absolutely a jerk if he takes you on a date and leaves you the bill, while he leaves with the waitress.

[SpideyVille]

She Says vs. He Says: Do Girls Really Like Dating Jerks?

By Christine Hassler and Jason Ryan Dorsey
Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Feb 24, 2008
Christine Hassler and Jason Ryan Dorsey




SHE SAYS: No, but we think we do. As someone who dated a jerk, whom I now refer to as my "learning experience," I admit to falling under the jerk spell.
Here's how the jerk spell works: we meet the jerk and in some twisted way are seduced by his confidence, charm, and passion. We don't see these as the disguises they are: confidence is really arrogance, charm comes from him being a player, and his passion is being the center of his own universe.
“The jerk sniffs out our insecurities and uses them to reel us in with compliments that eventually turn into criticisms.”
I think these are what really separates the "nice" guy from the "jerk". The jerk really does see himself as being superior to the girl and feels like they have to control the girl, and it doesn't help when there are girls who subject themselves to this belief and allow it to continue. The nice guy on the other hand, realizes that they are on the same level as the girl. They also feel no need to control her for she is her own person who should make her own decisions.

And the biggest difference is that "jerks" know when to make their move. They see when a girl is vulnerable and take advantage of her and her feelings in order to get what they want, while the "nice", though he may see this same weakness, he refuses to take advantage of the girl in a moment of weakness. Even though there are times where we feel like it's our best shot to get a girl, that doesn't mean it's okay to do it.

We use our normally rational inner voice to convince ourselves that we can tame him or that with the right kind of girlfriend he will lose his jerk armor and transform into a leading man fit for a romantic comedy. Come on ladies, what are we thinking?!Are there girls that actually think like this? I mean if you fall for the guy because he looks strong and confident, what makes you think you can suddenly change that. It's not like he's gonna lose his confidence and suddenly become a pushover.

A jerk loves being a jerk -- way more than he loves us. I guess if they've always gotten away with treating people poorly and nobody ever set them straight, why would they change? Exactly. Most guys tend to act like jerks because they see all the other guys acting like jerks and get rewarded for it. Why would they change if nobody points out what they're doing is wrong.

The only challenge worth overcoming when dating a jerk is to not let him affect or define your self worth. So if there is a jerk out there making your heart go pitter-pat and estrogen is messing with your reasoning, go ahead and let him woo you, but when he asks for your number tell him that you only date guys who prove their value by respecting a woman. If he's a jerk he'll roll his eyes, say you have an attitude and snicker as he leaves. If he sincerely accepts your ground rules, then chances are you should give him at least one date to prove he's relationship material. Although you may not be spellbound at first, the nice guy without all the smooth answers may ultimately fulfill your needs in more meaningful ways.Unfortunately, there are some jerks that are smart enough to know when to hide that "jerk" part of them, and it's usually when they have the woman's attention and see she's not falling for whatever he's doing. So he "changes the play" and pretends to be a nice guy just to get in with a date. After that, he'll continue with his normal jerk behavior.

HE SAYS: As much as I hate to say it, girls love jerks! At least until the jerk stops calling, which is usually right after he gets what he wants. Speaking from the guy's perspective, I've never quite understood what draws sane, attractive, bright women to guys who act like jerks. Maybe it is the thrill of the unexpected. Maybe it is trying to outplay him in his own game. Maybe it is hoping that deep down he is a nice guy and you are going to prove it to your naysayer friends. What I do know is that too many women who could easily be in a healthy relationship instead choose the cliffhanger ending of dating a jerk that walks with a swagger, winks at anything that moves, and always has a one-liner at the ready.Why must girls always try to prove things to their friends. I really hate it when girls have to have their friends' "seal of approval". Honestly, if you're only going out with me because your friends think it's a wise move, then there's already a problem. And this also holds true with "naysayer" friends. It shouldn't matter if your friends don't like the guy. If you like him then give him a chance. After all, YOU know what's best for yourself, not your friends.

Truth be told, there aren't many nice guys who haven't considered acting like a jerk, especially when they steal your girl (here I speak from experience).Absolutely true. Most guys are nice guys, but they become jerks because they see that's what the girl they want prefer. What they should be thinking is that if that's what the girl prefers, then she just isn't the right one for you.

1. He's probably a jerk if he tells you to skip desert because your butt already jiggles enough.
:lmao: If a guy does this, he isn't just a jerk, he's a really really dumb guy.

2. He's definitely a jerk if he "guilts" you into doing things that make you feel bad about yourself -- usually starting with the line "If you really cared about me..."Another good way to distinguish how much of a jerk a guy is, whether he seems nice at first or not.


3. He's absolutely a jerk if he takes you on a date and leaves you the bill, while he leaves with the waitress.:mad: :nono:

[Mac_Hine]

1. He's probably a jerk if he tells you to skip desert because your butt already jiggles enough.

:lmao: If a guy does this, he isn't just a jerk, he's a really really dumb guy.



I would absolutely say this to a girl. Why would that make me a jerk & dumb in your opinion though? I would say this with a sly smile and an obvious playing tone. It's not what you say but the way you say it (playful like the way you would joke with your buddies busting each other's chops).

[SpideyVille]

I would absolutely say this to a girl. Why would that make me a jerk & dumb in your opinion though? I would say this with a sly smile and an obvious playing tone. It's not what you say but the way you say it (playful like the way you would joke with your buddies busting each other's chops).

Yeah you're right. I totally wasn't thinking about it that way. Though sometimes even when you joke about something like that, most women tend to overreact and take it seriously. Like the popular question "Does this dress make me look fat?", the girl could be skinny as a toothpick but if you say yes in a joking manner, there's a chance she might not share that humor and take offense to that answer. But yeah you're right, i was only focusing on it as if a guy was serious when he said that.

[Trainwreck2100]

I was having this conversation with three other friends yesterday all college aged. The other guy there was complaining about not having a girlfriend. Then I told him you need to be more of an Ahole, chicks like the challenge. Which drew criticism with the two girls we were with. Ten minutes later they were complaining about how their boyfriends were such Aholes.

[PyroChamber]

This is an argument that will go on for years and years.

[LexCorp]

I believe Lex was talking about a woman who finishes a guy because he treats her well. That's what he was replying to. He wasn't, as far as I can see, addressing the matter of first meetings. The way I read the posts was that this was already an existing relationship where little to no assumptions need to be made concerning intentions and such.

And in those circumstances, I agree with his post. :yay:

Edit: Sorry for the mix up. He said the same thing in two different posts. ;)

Yes Eggyman

[The Kid]

But that's the thing. It shouldn't have to be that. You should be able to love someone for who they are not who they try to be. And sure, you can compare it to having the dual identity, but does it always work out when heroes do that? When the hero's love interest finds out about the dual identity, they are shocked to discover the person they loved was keeping a big secret from them and realize that they truly don't know that person as well as they think. Then they have to decide whether they'll stay with the person and accept them for who they are and work things out, or leave the person because they see the person as a completely different person. That's the risk you take when you decide to put up a facade. And if a person can't love you for who you really are, there's no point in being with that person because the side that you hide will eventually come out and they're going to disappointed that they were decieved like that.

I wish it worked that way but it doesn't. The harsh reality is that if you don't put on your tights and save some lives, Lois will ignore you...

[LexCorp]

I wish it worked that way but it doesn't. The harsh reality is that if you don't put on your tights and save some lives, Lois will ignore you...

Lois is an attention whore.

[Eggyman]

Lois is a whore.

Fixed ;)

[LexCorp]

Fixed ;)

Woman are whores - I jest

[Eggyman]

Don't be so rude. :o

[LexCorp]

Don't be so rude. :o

Don't be so egg