Green/Guggehein/Berlanti's Script: Did it delivered?

[protocida]

Green Lantern was pushed back to Summer 2011, so, we'll have to settle with these topics for now. :yay:

This thread, I created for those who read the 1° draft of the movie, written by Greg Berlanti, Marc Guggehein and Michael Green. I ask you: Did the Script made justice to the Green Lantern mythos. Was it up the the comics? Was it movie-esque, yet, comic accurate?

In summation: Did it delivered?

Discuss. :up:

OBS: I believe it deserved it's own thread, but, if the mods disagree, they can merge with another thread. :yay:

[Changeling]

Yeah it was a good script. Some parts could afford to be written, like Hector's characterization. And the bank robbery scene, but it was good.

[Webhead2006]

I still havent got through the whole first draft of the script myself. Been so busy with school at times or forgot about it and all that. I do want to get though it soon since spring term is now over for me. But everything so far sounds good. But with the script have gone through 3-4 rewrites since the first draft i would like to see what has been changed/altered/removed.

[The Guard]

Sort of. It's nice to see this stuff on paper, and imagine it onscreen, but it could have been a lot better. It's a step above WOLVERINE.

[Lobo]

Not perfect by any means, but YES, I think it delivered.

[Octoberist]

i think the structure is there, but the dialog needs work.

Sinatro's lines are fine, but I think Hal needs to be spiced up. He is written if he was younger than 27 sometimes (mostly with his humor) so he needs to mature a little bit without losing that alpha-male flair.

Also, certain scenes are too similar to Iron Man (Coffin's Corner, where Hal has to out maneuvers a robot proto-jet by flying his jet up into the stratosphere.).

[Webhead2006]

hopefully things have changed for the better in the later drafts.

[JackIvyGB]

The only thing that really bugged me was one of the scenes with Tom. Yeah, overall Tom's fanboy-ness could be turned down a notch (it's an endearing quality, but not when it's shoved down our throats), but the one part that irked me, and forget exactly where it is...

...just looked it up. Page 29. Hal gives Tom "a lifetime supply of porn". It's like the "Sam's Happy Time" scene in Transformers. For the immature teenagers it might get a couple giggles, but for eveyone else (families, older siblings who brought younger siblings, dad's who are bringing their sons to see a character they grew up with come to life, etc.) it's just an awkward line that doesn't need to be there. Find some other way of Tom saying Hal owes him one.

Another thing, as has been pointed out before, is the villains. My issue isn't as much the way they're depicted, as much as it never seemed like one was the definitive main villain. Maybe show Legion in the beginning, Abin crashes, Hector touches the shard, goes nuts thinking he is all powerful, and the last 1/3 of the film has Legion heading to earth to regain it's missing piece. It sets up Hector sort of like Scarecrow in Batman Begins, still a villain who thinks he's all that, still a problem to be dealt with, but not the big problem by far. Just a part of the set-up who's too big for his briches. The final throwdown with Legion would be near/on earth, revealing the Lantern Corps to the humans and setting up for Alan's speech about aliens being real. (I don't know if that makes sense. I need to read the the script again)

The last thing I'm concerned for, and this in part relies on the actual film's FX, is the ring constructs. I want some crazy CREATIVITY. I don't just want to see a giant hand as the answer for everything. I don't just want to see the ring shooting blasts all the time. I'll have to look over the script again to see what they had in there again, but lazy creativity behind the constructs makes the difference between people thinking that the rings are the COOLEST HERO GADGETS EVER or saying "Dude, Batman's got better crap on his belt." I know Hal's just starting too, but it doesn't hurt to bust out something really cool from time to time. Once he figures out how it works, I could totally picture him just sitting up all night wondering what kinds of crap he can make and just waiting for a chance to bust it out. It doesn't have to be big either. Like in the new animated movie, there's a scene where Hal conjures up a folding chair and smacks people with it. That's creative. It's not huge, but it's not what you'd expect. It's spur of the moment. Was Hal watching Smackdown last night?

Other than those little nitpicks, I say it absolutely delivered. The interaction between Hal and Carol, the foreshadowing of Sinestro, and the hints leading up to the big payoff with Alan Scott, those things make this script go from good to great, and hopefully rewrites and better dialogue have only improved it. This could definitely be the Star Trek/Iron Man of 2011 with the right cast, FX, and killer marketing.

[Motown Marvel]

i havent read the script, but the impression i got was its good but could (should) be better.

[Octoberist]

i think the script is there but it needed some tweaks to make it more dramatic. It was too sitcomy for my liking and I WOULD LOVE if they brought in another third party screenwriter to punch it up.

[Evil Twin]

The script was a fine FIRST DRAFT script. Yeah, you wouldn't want to go direct to film with it, it certainly needed polish and some parts needed a rethink, but it was solid at a basic level thematically, character-wise and plot-wise. Basically it was in a position to be reshaped into the final material based on the strengths of the cast, director, special effects, etc.

[RachelDawes]

Wow, I'm surprised at how lukewarm the reviews of the first draft are. From reading the casting thread I got the impression it was a really great script as it was. Now I hear it could use rewrites.

[Lobo]

It is a GREAT first draft.

[Chewy]

The dialogue needs a lot of work, but I'm sure they're already working on that

[Dev]

Does this thread deliver the goods?

[Octoberist]

Wow, I'm surprised at how lukewarm the reviews of the first draft are. From reading the casting thread I got the impression it was a really great script as it was. Now I hear it could use rewrites.

I think it delivers but now we're in a post Iron Man/Dark Knight era, so expectations are slightly higher. I don't another Iron Man/Dark Knight; I just want a movie that is releveant to the genre and not The Incredible Hulk (overshadowed), Wolverine (Soulless fun), or Fantastic Four (quick cash).

The first draft is great for a first draft but if it wants to be noticed, they need to do more. And I think the first thing is dialog. The dialog isn't generic but very TV drama like (stemming from the writers' background). It needs to be more..intelligent in a way, or have some wit.

[protocida]

It's quite witty.

[arman200]

Sort of. It's nice to see this stuff on paper, and imagine it onscreen, but it could have been a lot better. It's a step above WOLVERINE.

I'd have to agree, it can very much be improved. How many drafts were made after the one we saw?

[protocida]

Two.

[Octoberist]

It's quite witty.

it depends on the actors and the director but I thought it wasn't as witty as it should have been. (I know..first draft)