Corrupt A Wish - Part 2

[Sensi]

You are. What you are doing right now is your vacation.

I wish people weren't quite so stupid.

[Sensi]

You are. What you are doing right now is your vacation.

I wish people weren't quite so stupid.

[ThePhantasm]

Granted. Now everyone is smart except you and you are now "stupid".

I wish I had a pizza.

[Sensi]

You do but it is a dark chocolate one with anchovies.

I wish to feel more peppy.

[webhead9707]

Granted, but you become so peppy that no one wants to be around you and you die alone, feeling peppy though.

I wish I could find a metallic green electric guitar.

[Duke]

Granted, you find a picture of it on the internet. :csad:


I wish I had a 2012 truck, right off the dealership.

[Sensi]

You will have it because it is a lemon and no one would ever buy it.

I wish for a really nice bottle of wine, some flowers and a beautiful night.

[webhead9707]

Granted, but you spend it alone, get drunk from the whole bottle of wine, then realize you're allergic to the flowers, and on the way to the emergency room, thanks to the wine and the dark yet beautiful night, you crash and die, alone.

I wish I could have shapeshifting powers like Mystique

[Sensi]

You will except for something goes wrong and you keep changing constantly and never stop.

I wish to have a happy Friday.

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,you sleep right through it.

I wish I didn't have to sleep anymore.

[Sensi]

You will never sleep again and just become a walking zombie

I wish there was a magic pill that would fix everything

[Vengeance]

There is one but it comes with very undesirable side-effects you will hate & since its temporary afterwards you'll feel even worse.

I wish I could visit somebody who is so far away

[greenrage36]

Granted, my good buddy the Juggernaut boot kicks you to where your friend lies...have fun sitting down for the next month...


I wish I had a Darth Vader helmet

[Nave 'Torment']

You do, but it doesn't fit.

I wish the person I'm yearning for would finally respond... with an affirmative. :'(

[SE7EN]

They do, but it's with regard to the vd test you took.

I wish I had a brain

[Sensi]

You do. It's just made of saw dust.

I wish this year could be better than last year

[Hawkingbird]

It could be, but what would that make the next year?

I wish I could remove that blemish I have.

[Duke]

You make it disappear, only to have a dozen more appear.

I wish I had a new job with a superior pay rate.

[greenrage36]

Granted, but the work duties involve break dancing among piles of fresh poop..



I wish I wasn't so sleepy....(yawn)

[Sensi]

You aren't. You just have a sleeping sickness.

I wish I didn't have to face tomorrow.

[greenrage36]

Granted, you no longer have to face tomorrow. It has become today.



I wish I had a magic box.

[Duke]

Granted, said magic box has a mind of it's own & curses you for life.


I wish I had powers like Q (STNG)

[greenrage36]

Granted, unfortunately you are also now trapped inside the tv program...goodbye real world! (is that really a corruption though? lol)



I wish I had six toes

[NHawk19]

granted but now you no longer own any shoes that fit, so you are forced to wear clown shoes all the time.

I wish to visit Venice

[greenrage36]

Granted...Venice, Oklahoma here ye'all come!



I wish I had a cowboy hat

[HisMagicTrick]

Granted, a cowboy hat is now permanently stuck to your head.

I wish I had my licence.

[jonathancrane]

Granted, but due to the lack of specificity, the DMV sends you a commercial boating license instead.

I wish I could meet my favorite actor.

[Sensi]

You will but he will ignore you and you will wonder why you ever liked him

I wish this weekend will be nice.

[AxlsAppetite]

It will, but not for you.

I wish to end starvation for everyone around the world.

[Anubis]

Granted, Zombie apocalypse.


I wish to be able to speak every language on Earth....including sign language.

[Hawkingbird]

Granted, but what if a French person slags you off and you hear it and have a mental breakdown and go to a crazy home and die because another crazy person killed you :dry:

I wish I was a model

[HisMagicTrick]

Granted, but you trip on the runway.

I wish I was a genius.

[Anubis]

Granted, but as soon as you walk outside you're hit by a bus and now you're the smartest vegetable.

I wish I had infinite pocket space.

[HisMagicTrick]

Granted, but the pockets have so much space that you can never find anything in them anyway.

I wish I lived in Gotham City.

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,but a week later,Joker kills you.

I wish I lived in Metropolis.

[HisMagicTrick]

(Being killed by the Joker... is that really a threat? :funny:)

Granted, but the world ends on the day that you get there.

I wish I could sing.

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,you have a very powerful singing voice that could kill people.


I wish I lived in Canada.

[HisMagicTrick]

Granted, but you end up hating it so much there you commit suicide.

I wish I could fly.

[Ultra Lantern]

Granted,you've turned into a bird and before you can fly away a cat kills you.

I wish I had a car like Bumblebee.

[Duke]

Granted, it's a Hot Wheels diecast car.

I wish I owned a car dealership.

[SE7EN]

Granted, but you bankrupt due to the economic downturn and live penniless and alone

I *WISH* Faith No More were still putting out albums (and they were good)

[Anubis]

Granted, but now you're deaf.


I wish that I invented something awesome in my teens and became a billionaire.

[HisMagicTrick]

Granted, but another company sues you claiming they invented it first, and you lose your billions of dollars by the time you're in your twenties.

I wish I won an awesome car.

[Sensi]

You did. A model of a Model T Ford

I wish someone could actually see what I look like now.

[SE7EN]

They did and then gouged their eyes out in pure terror.

I wish for a good life and an honorable death.

[Godsfireworks]

Granted. But some idiot forgot to give you change for Charon.

I wish I could live to see a Cascade Volcano Erupt without destroying anything or anyone.

[SE7EN]

You try based on what some fortune teller told you along with an "amulet" she gave you. Everyone in the path of the lava still burns.

I wish knew how to speak real latin and not just the pig variety.

[Sensi]

You will but then that is all you can speak and no one understands you; so you are shunned for the rest of your life.

I wish I didn't know what was going to happen.

[greenrage36]

Granted. You receive an anti-Cerebro in the mail and after trying it on you forget everything you've ever known...




I wish I had a bowl of cereal right now...

[SE7EN]

Granted, but it's Cap'n Crunch and you scrape the hell out of the roof of your mouth.

I wish Sharon Osbourne hadn't reanimated Ozzy's dead body just so she could release one more album.

[NHawk19]

she didnt she's planning on releasing 9 more rock albums and 1 full of Christmas music. Featuring the song "I am Santa Claus"

I wish for a beer

[Duke]

Granted. You're the winner of a lifetime supply of beer, only it's in Europe.

I wish the 49ers would've kicked the Giants out of the playoffs, this year!

[NHawk19]

Granted but they loose the super bowl anyway to Tebow. Now everyone everywhere Tebow's and it's your fault.

I wish for Tebowing to end

[greenrage36]

Granted, but let me kneel down here for a sec.....




I wish I had a yoga instructor here at the pad...

[SE7EN]

Granted except the genie misheard you and sent yogi bear. Now you lie mauled to death on your living room floor rug (which by the way just happened to tie the room together nicely)

I wish I knew how to play piano and chess well.

Edit: same time or separately, either way is fine.

[greenrage36]

Granted, you can physically play chess and the piano at the same time starting tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, you can't stop doing either task or you're heart will explode...them pesky Grey aliens snuck in last night and made some 'changes' on yo' a**.....



I wish I had my very own pet Loch Ness Monster

[Rylvan]

Granted. It eats you.

I wish I could read at superspeed.

[Microchip]

Granted. The information overload drives you insane.

I wish McDonalds still made pizzas.

[greenrage36]

Granted, but the only kind they have available is the not-quite-chicken nugget surprise (as in you'd be surprised just what the hell you were actually eating)




I wish I lived inside the trunk of my car

[Rylvan]

Granted, you get rear-ended by an 18-wheeler.

I wish I was a werewolf.

[greenrage36]

Granted, how's that job at the silver factory workin' out for ya?




I wish I had an 'S' printed on all of my shirts

[Rylvan]

Granted, it's hot pink with glitter and rhinestones.

I wish I could lose about 50 lbs.

[greenrage36]

Granted, the men in black come to your place and confiscate your laptop, microwave, and a box of your comics...all in all about 50 lbs right there!



I wish I had a new set of tires

[Rylvan]

Granted, have fun with your new space shuttle tires. (P.S. - The Feds might come looking.)

I wish for a Chapters/Indigo/Coles gift card.

[greenrage36]

Granted, upon receiving it you are so happy and grateful you accidentally set it down on a hot rangetop and it goes up in flames.



I wish I could roast a marshmallow over your newly-created fire...

[Rylvan]

Granted, but it tastes like my now burned up Chapters gift card.

I wish I had the rest of your marshmallows.

[Sensi]

You have them but so do the ants.

I wish you could tell me a nice song to listen to right now.

[greenrage36]

Granted, Angel of Death by Slayer is now queued up for ya! (dang near a Hallmark moment if I do say so myself...)


I wish I could see you headbanging and tearing s*** up...lol. http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a385/Avvatar1/Avatars%20and%20Sigs/LiebSmilie-Headbanger-mit-Gitarre.gif

[Sensi]

Ok lol You will see me doing that BUT it will be your stuff I will be tearing up :P

I wish for a really happy and energetic weekend :D

[greenrage36]

Granted, however the energetic part is supplied by a down power-line and now you are headbanging regardless of Slayer playing or not...




I wish I had a blackout