Originally Posted by The Leaguer
Actually, we were named after Ass-Ass, and it's an interesting story.
One day, Assassin was stuffing things up his ass. I know this is an everyday thing for Assassin, but I say, "one day" because on this particular day, Corp, 'phere, Trop, yenaled and I were watching. Not in a weird, "this is hot" way, but in a "flipping through the channels and get to the Special Olympics and for some reason you can't bring yourself to change the channel" way. In this story, the Special Olympics are aired on television. Anyway, we're sitting there watching Assassin just shovel things in and we notice a hat is coming up in the stack of ass-items.
For some reason, despite the fact that we've been watching Assassin shove things into his anus for hours, the idea that he would put a hat in his ass was absurd to us. I said, "there's no way he'll do it." 'phere said, "He totally will." Corp said, "I actually think he's kind of looking forward to it." Yenaled said, "Yeah, louk at the way he's eyeing it." Brits spell things with U's. The television to which Trop was broadcasting from his tiny tropical island via satellite said something in Spanish, but we all took it to mean that he didn't think he would do it, either.
So Corp and I took a bet: if Assassin stuffed the hat up his ass, Corp won and he would get Trop's tropical island, and if he didn't do it, I'd win and I'd get Briton. You may think I had the better prospect, but you have to remember: a country's worth is measured by resident ASSHAT members, meaning they were of equal value.
And, as we all know, Assassin stuffed the hat up his ass and Corp got Trop's island. But the important part came after: we spent at least four days laughing at the site of Assassin putting a hat in his ass. As we finally came down from our asshat high, Corp mentioned how great it would be to name ourselves after the funniest thing we had ever seen. Yenaled mentioned the acronym rule, so Corp came up with one and ASSHAT was born.
This also explains why Corp thinks he's so high up in the ranks: apparently, naming the group is untouchable in Corp's mind.