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Old 07-25-2011, 12:47 PM   #330
Max Newlander
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 122
Default Re: OFFICIAL Dark of the Moon REVIEW THREAD - Part 1

Well I have to say this has to have been one of the most enduring and annoying cinematic experiences I have ever had the mis-pleasure of sitting through. Where to start...

Well the film seems to have been written by some teenager who appears to have been continuously turned on by the posters of glamour models and US Military equipment on his bedroom wall as he wrote. Dialogue is terrible, story doesn't have any coherence or even make any kind of sense when comparing it to the mythology to the two previous movies.

Acting, well appalling, the 'new' Megan Fox is horrendous, and can't act for toffee. Shia is a decent actor but his character Sam has now become extremely annoying by this stage in the franchise. All the other parts are simply either, cardboard cutout's and have very little screen time to develop in anyway, or are just beyond stupid and pointless.

Direction is the same old Michael Bay lets blow everything up in the sunshine with slow motion. Its been done to death Michael, lets try and evolve as a film-maker and focus more on pacing, character and story development. 60 minute final battle scene? Eh? No one except 7 year old kids want to watch that. Far too long, and once you've seen one battle between two gigantic robots you've seen them all.

So many WTF moments. Too many to go through. I can't remember the amount of times I just wanted to put my head on my hands in despair.

I don't get this movie, a lot of people say 'What do you expect form a movie about robots that was based on a kids toy line.' True but M Bay didn't make this for kids or he would have had much more subtlety with the amount of sexual connotations instead of ramming it down our throats. There also seems to be an air of Rasicm, Jingoism, and sexual discrimination similarly to the previous efforts and those underlying themes shouldn't be involved in a kids movie.

An extremely poor effort of film-making, excluding the visual and special effects. Unfortunately 2.5hrs of visual effects doesn't constitute a movie to me. Michael Bay seems to be a sheltered and overly patriotic teenager who has just discovered the excitement of sexual arousal trapped inside a mans body. This can only explain his style, content and the view on the world he wants to project in his movies towards his audience. Someone needs to grow up fast and open his eyes a little wider before making another movie IMO.

1/10 Awful in every way.

As stated this is just my opinion, to those who loved it then you're also of course welcome to have that opinion ( and I can respect that ), its nothing personal just what I thought.

My top 3 Comicbook movies -

The Dark Knight, 9/10

Superman: The Movie, 8.5/10

Batman Begins, 8.5/10
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