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Old 08-29-2011, 05:40 PM   #347
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 58
Default Re: OFFICIAL Dark of the Moon REVIEW THREAD - Part 1

Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon (2011)

Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon, why not call it Darkside Of The Moon? Just thought that was odd... but whatever, not really a problem or a good way to start off a review. Basically we're at the third installment of the giant robot-Michael Bay franchise! Oh joy! What to expect? Well giant robots, and explosions really. What do we get? Pretty much that. The opening sequence is fantastic, the way it's told and shot with that 'old' look and the whole conspiracy thing going on is very interesting. I enjoyed that the most out of the whole film, after that we flash forward to present time where Shia Lebouf (Sam) is with some new random hot chick (I forgot her name already). They try to explain with a little bit of backstory how Sam and hot chick met, Obama gave Sam a medal but the true highlight of his day was falling in love! Aweee! The tiny supposably meant to be funny and/or entertaining robots talk about how "the last one" dumped them, that's just snuck in there which I guess is kind of nice to have at least that mentioned.

Obviously nobody learned from the last movie that trying to make Transformers films funny does not work! It just doesn't feel right, and all of the jokes fall flat. The story is just a giant cluster**** as well, which is sad because the story could've really been interesting with the whole moon conspiracy thing, by the way it's great to see previews for Apollo 18 after watching this because that looks like it's making a story similar to the opening of this but the movie looks good.

The movie lasts 2:25 or so and my God it's the longest 2 1/2 hours ever! I just kept waiting for it to end, and honestly I didn't even know what was going on half the time! Autobots are good, no that ones bad, wait what one is he? They look the same! Oh, they're dead, wait they're alive? One thing I can not stand during a movie is someone asking me "Wait.. what happened there?" and this was asked to me a good 20 times during the course of this movie, so yeah, story telling is not very good in this. You'd think that was ok because there was going to be an extreme amount of action in this, but I didn't even really find the action too entertaining, didn't even feel like Bay brought his A-game for that.

The whole time of the ending I just kept thinking how familar all the destruction in the city with giant robots fighting each other and Sam in the middle looked, I seriously think they just may have reused the same ending for all 3 of these movies.

Let's get into the characters, I don't care about a single one of them. The new girl seems kind of like a *****, I didn't feel any real chemistry between her and Sam or anything. Sam gets boring after five minutes of watching him because you realize Shia only has one acting technique, scream stuff. "WATCH OUT!" "BUMBLE BEE!" "NOOO!!" every five minutes he's shouting something, and I think that's supposed to make us care about something more? I just found it annoying, but hey, you can make a game of it! Drink whenever Shia shouts something! Thank me later.

Did I mention the scene with the building falling over? That is definitely the best part of the movie. I just found it to be pretty cool.

I could go on about other things like how I find it stupid that the humans could actually kill the robots, but I won't get into it. I think I've said enough to put a knife in this. The opening was great, it made me want to see Apollo 18, the plot could've been great but it was just so confusing and the movie was far too dragged out, it could've easily been an 1:30. 4/10

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