Re: Tony Stark is not Iron Man
I'd argue that A. you're wrong about Stark (especially in the films because of what we saw in IM3) Stark can outthink and outact any of his foes and the Iron Man armor wouldn't exist without his highly advanced mind. Only about 6 people (in the films) have worn armors in the same league as Tony and only 3 of them are still alive. Of those three, Pepper would likely refuse to be "Iron Man" ever again. And Rhodey is War Machine. Stark is indeed "Iron Man" particularly metaphorically and most assuredly in practice.
B. you're wrong about Batman/CapAm. Without his batsuit Bruce doesn't inspire fear in criminals, doesn't have any of the gadgets he's so well known for and he'll die the first time a thug takes a shot at him. Without the cape and cowl he's well-trained a vigilante, plain and simple. Cap takes two shots without his suit/shield he's dead, not to mention he may be a captain but has nothing that makes him Captain "America" if he's not wearing his stars and stripes. Without the America he's just a super soldier, plain and simple.
and C. What's your point?
With the youtube vid you linked, it's pretty clear that "what Tony Stark does" defines him. And he did save millions (if not billions) of lives as Iron Man. Does that not define him as Iron Man?