View Single Post
Old 11-28-2012, 12:42 AM   #960
Andy C.
Repent, Harlequin!
Andy C.'s Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The Basement
Posts: 3,758
Default Re: One Earth: The Marvel/DC RPG

Originally Posted by Byrd Man View Post
I stepped forward and sat down in front of the Joker, my lenses processing any and everything in the area.

"Just get on with the long-winded speech you've spent days preparing."

"Oh, that's right," the Joker said, rolling his eyes. "Act like you don't enjoy our little moments. Pretend this is all some big ugly chore that you only do because you have to. Keep up this little pretense when you and I both know that it's moments like this that are the whole reason you're here."

The clown casually toyed with the remote detonator in his hand, before his smile grew.

"So a guy walks into a bar," he began, "And this is one of those one-horse towns where everyone knows everyone, right? And nobody recognizes this guy, so the bartender says, 'Hey, you must not be from around here.' The man says, 'Nope. I'm actually here with the traveling circus, and we're in town for the weekend!'"

The Joker, sensing Batman's impatience, began to embellish on the joke, to pad it out for even longer.

"The bartender asks, 'So, what are you, an acrobat? A juggler? A clown?' And the man says, 'No, I work with the animals.' The bartender's impressed, and says, 'Oh, so you're like a lion tamer, then?' To which the man answers, 'Well, not exactly. My job is to give enemas to the elephants before the show, to make sure they don't **** in front of the audience on stage.'"

The clown snickered at the idea, but when he saw that Batman wasn't laughing, he continued.

"The bartender doesn't believe him, and he says as much. 'That's ridiculous, no one would do that for a living,' he says. 'Oh yeah?' says the stranger. 'Come down to the fairgrounds tomorrow before the show, and you'll see me at work!'

"So the next day, the bartender goes to the fairgrounds--outta morbid curiosity, y'know? And sure enough, there's the stranger from the night before, with thick rubber gloves on and carrying a big rubber hose to the elephants' cage."

The Joker's eyes began to gleam as he pictured the scene.

"He steps into the cage and goes towards the first elephant, a big bull elephant with huge tusks. He walks around the side to get behind him....and then he sticks the hose right up the elephant's ass and turns it on! He pumps gallon after gallon after gallon up the pachyderm's posterior, until finally it can't take it anymore and-- FWOOOOOOSSSHHHHH!!!!!!--the elephant takes a big watery **** all over him!!!"

The clown did his best to gesture out the grotesque details, to a crowd that wasn't exactly in the laughing mood.

"The stranger, still covered head to toe in godawful watery runny elephant diarrhea, walks over to the bartender and says, 'So whaddya think?' And the bartender says, 'I think you need to find another job.'"

The Joker wound up for the punchline.

"And the bartender says, 'What, and give up showbusiness?!"

With that, he spread his arms in a wide 'ta-daa,' waiting for the Batman's response.

Last edited by Andy C.; 11-28-2012 at 12:52 AM.
Andy C. is offline   Reply With Quote