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Old 06-04-2008, 12:55 PM   #97
Or: Rōnin Iscariot
Assassin32's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska
Posts: 6,588
Default Re: The Screenwriting Thread

Originally Posted by Superhobo View Post
One of my earlier (and unfinished) shorts -
I read your unfinished short, and it wasn't bad. You have a good handle on basic screenplay format, which drowns a lot of beginners. The story itself kept me interested, and was obviously inspired by Duel. I suggest you finish this, clean it up a bit and expand on some things. There were a few occurances in the story that I didn't understand, but they helped create the mystery; so I don't know, maybe that's what you were going for.

Oh, and if you're not going to direct this yourself, it might be a good idea to take out a lot of the camera direction. Agents and studio scriptreaders throw a huge *****fit about that.

"I'm cold like a midnight in Aspen/I am the president and the assassin . . . "

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