Attack of the *Official* Relationship Advice Thread

[Thebumwhowalks]

Originally Posted by SuperFerret

I don't know about you, but I'm more than a "geek". Sure, I can talk your head off about superheroes, D&D, comics and the like, but I can also offer other opinions on things. I've got a wide range of interests, albeit with geeky stuff making up a large portion of them. It's part of who I am though, and I'm not going to hide that (nor will I be staying in any relationship where it's a problem with the other person). Being who you truly are is the key to any successful relationship, and that's including everything you are.

You're all avoiding the issue that I made about just not focusing on that on the first date, I'm not saying to hide that part of yourself from her all the time.

I just thought there was a chance that SV might go on about the forum or superhero movies a lot, instead of selling himself better by focusing on some real stuff too, like his plans for being a techer, going to college, whatever.
He is on these boards all the time, and it would be easy for him to bang on about it a bit too much.

i think people just hear/read what they want to hear/read from me, instead of listening to what i am actually saying.

[Thebumwhowalks]

Originally Posted by Secret Fawful

When a person isn't a judgmental a--hole. The only normal person is the one you don't know very well.



Yeah, no one is as simple as either one of those black and white straw men you set up there, m' kay. Well, they're at least reminiscent of straw men, but a "wee boy dreaming his life away" probably wouldn't be on a date in the first place.

M' kay? Mmmmmm' kay. M'kay.

You are...really out of touch with reality.

[Poeman]

Originally Posted by Thebumwhowalks

I wasn't joking, I don't think it's a good idea for the guy to bang on about superhero movies or the discussion forum on a first date.
He should stick to talking about real things in his life, and try to find common interests to talk about, whether it's his ambitions in life(he said he wanted to be a teacher, so he could talk about that), or what he has learned from life situations.
I'm not saying to have calculated conversation, all I'm saying is to be selective about what he talks about on that first date, because when talking about superheroes or the internet he might give an impression of still being a wee boy, and that is not a good impression to give, because a woman of substance, as you say, will be evaluating everything he says on that first date, and will want to know that he has plans for his life, and is not some dreamer stuck in the house all the time watching movies and wasting time on the internet.

This is true...My gf knows I post on a Superhero forum, but i dont get into specifics. Chicks rarely care for message board discussions.

They are more interested with the way that date is reacting to what they say, constant conversations about 'whatever'...Superhero and forum talk can wait a bit. But this is also depending on the girl.

[Thebumwhowalks]

thank you, I am just trying to give the kid some good advice.

[Poeman]

Originally Posted by Thebumwhowalks

You're all avoiding the issue that I made about just not focusing on that on the first date, I'm not saying to hide that part of yourself from her all the time.

I just thought there was a chance that SV might go on about the forum or superhero movies a lot, instead of selling himself better by focusing on some real stuff too, like his plans for being a techer, going to college, whatever.
He is on these boards all the time, and it would be easy for him to bang on about it a bit too much.

i think people just hear/read what they want to hear/read from me, instead of listening to what i am actually saying.

SuperFerret you should listen to thebumwhowalks and talks.

First dates are more about the girl then about you...give them all the attention they want if its someone you are attracted to. As they get more attracted and attached to the way you are with them. They get more interested in knowing what you like to do and they rarely would judge you on it.

Im on forums all the time, play video games, watch sports, tv and movies...Im like a bum, however in the beginning i call her to talk about life and what she wants to do, what she is going to do upcoming week, listen to her about things women like to worry/complain about. In time you will know.

In the end the word "love" comes when you know the other person genuinely enjoys being with you physically/mentally. It starts with the listening and agreeing lol

[SuperFerret]

Originally Posted by Thebumwhowalks

You're all avoiding the issue that I made about just not focusing on that on the first date, I'm not saying to hide that part of yourself from her all the time.

I just thought there was a chance that SV might go on about the forum or superhero movies a lot, instead of selling himself better by focusing on some real stuff too, like his plans for being a techer, going to college, whatever.
He is on these boards all the time, and it would be easy for him to bang on about it a bit too much.

i think people just hear/read what they want to hear/read from me, instead of listening to what i am actually saying.

It should still come up around the first date, as that's where you decide whether or not there's gonna be a sequel.

[Secret Fawful]

Originally Posted by Thebumwhowalks

You are...really out of touch with reality.

How cool of you to use something like that as an excuse to write someone off in a discussion. It's not true, by the way. I just have an unrealistic expectation of people to not be shallow. You're acting like this is such a big deal that it should affect the life of everyone you say it to. It's not so. People aren't automatically morons if they don't agree with you. Everyone has to find their own way in love, and while this thread exists for advice, you're making it more than that. You're getting insulting about it.

I don't agree with you because you're using exaggerated examples that don't exist to make a point about behavior that the average person, even online, doesn't engage in. And you're acting like the ones who do could never possibly find love.

[Poeman]

Originally Posted by SuperFerret

It should still come up around the first date, as that's where you decide whether or not there's gonna be a sequel.

Thats like me telling the girl..."So yeah, I love to stay in on sundays and watch football...FYI, just letting you know. Sundays I am going nowhere".

All I will tell her is "I love football...Its great and Im a huge jets fan...You ever watch? maybe we should check out a game soon" BAM

Take it slow there, you know...

[SpideyVille]

Well to clear this up, the girl that I am currently interested in a big comic book fan, so I see that talking about that would be a plus.

[SuperFerret]

It's all in the phrasing Poe. Your examples are a don't and do respectively for how to answer her inevitable "What are your interests?"

[Poeman]

Originally Posted by Secret Fawful

How cool of you to use something like that as an excuse to write someone off in a discussion. It's not true, by the way. I just have an unrealistic expectation of people to not be shallow. You're acting like this is such a big deal that it should affect the life of everyone you say it to. It's not so. People aren't automatically morons if they don't agree with you. Everyone has to find their own way in love, and while this thread exists for advice, you're making it more than that. You're getting insulting about it.

I don't agree with you because you're using exaggerated examples that don't exist to make a point about behavior that the average person, even online, doesn't engage in. And you're acting like the ones who do could never possibly find love.

Good point here...I think what thebum was trying to get at is, a first date built around superhero forums and all geek talk is counter productive. However, no one should be insulting another because everyone is different. The girl probably enjoys reading some online celebrity gossip every day.

For example, the girl I am with very feminine, could care less about sports. Enjoys watching reality shows on the Entertainment channel (Keeping up with kardashians, bethanny, and tori/dean) Does not read books everyday, but rather browse forever 21 Some brutal stuff ...
I know she wouldnt be the right person to talk about my superhero discussions at the start. Now she will hear me blabber about how Dark Knight Rises will be awesome.

Say if i had met someone at a cafe, who enjoys the more artistic things in life, likes to write. I am sure discussions about my love for cinema would be great to bring up.

All depends on the type of person

[Poeman]

Originally Posted by SpideyVille

Well to clear this up, the girl that I am currently interested in a big comic book fan, so I see that talking about that would be a plus.

Absolutely

Btw, I am sure she has met dudes who enjoy comics though...So I am assuming she would like to know what makes you unique. So bring up whatever else you like to do.

[Secret Fawful]

Originally Posted by Poeman

Good point here...I think what thebum was trying to get at is, a first date built around superhero forums and all geek talk is counter productive. However, no one should be insulting another because everyone is different. The girl probably enjoys reading some online celebrity gossip every day.

For example, the girl I am with very feminine, could care less about sports. Enjoys watching reality shows on the Entertainment channel (Keeping up with kardashians, bethanny, and tori/dean) Does not read books everyday, but rather browse forever 21 Some brutal stuff ...
I know she wouldnt be the right person to talk about my superhero discussions at the start. Now she will hear me blabber about how Dark Knight Rises will be awesome.

Say if i had met someone at a cafe, who enjoys the more artistic things in life, likes to write. I am sure discussions about my love for cinema would be great to bring up.

All depends on the type of person

I absolutely agree with this. I just really think bum went about his advice in the wrong way. I can't think of anyone who would go into a date with the mindset "gee, I sure can't wait to talk about that Thick Women topic on Superherohype".

[Anubis]

Originally Posted by SpideyVille

Well to clear this up, the girl that I am currently interested in a big comic book fan, so I see that talking about that would be a plus.

But is she a comic book fan like you are a comic book fan?

We can be very polarizing you know. I once stabbed a friend in the leg with a fork for saying Wolverine could beat Lobo in a fight.

[Erzengel]

Originally Posted by Poeman

I know she wouldnt be the right person to talk about my superhero discussions at the start. Now she will hear me blabber about how Dark Knight Rises will be awesome.

Say if i had met someone at a cafe, who enjoys the more artistic things in life, likes to write. I am sure discussions about my love for cinema would be great to bring up.

Poe: I love cinema.
Girl: Really? I love Kurosawa, Hitchcock and Griffith.
Poe:
Poe: Did you ever watch The Dark Knight?

[twylight]

You guys are so hilarious. Seriously.

The first date is to talk about whatever comes up. The conversation should be like a buffet. A little here, a little there, and neither person hogging the conversation. Allow your true interests to be shown, talk about your life plans, etc. You're trying to sell yourself, but also be open. It's a fine line. You don't need to tell her all your hobbies or interests, but the conversation shouldn't just be about how you plan on doing things in the future.

Originally Posted by Anubis

We can be very polarizing you know. I once stabbed a friend in the leg with a fork for saying Wolverine could beat Lobo in a fight.

Gawd you're so amazing

[Erzengel]

I ask her during dinner, what's her top 3 favorite movies. If she doesn't list Star Wars as at least #2. I excuse myself to the bathroom and crawl out the window.

[Secret Fawful]

That is the funniest thing I have read all day.

[steintym]

In general, I'd have to say I agree with Thebum, for the most part. I don't think he was implying that SV should hide some aspect of himself, just go easy on the superhero/forum stuff.

If I would have hit my future wife with all of that stuff on a first date, she probably would have headed for zee hills. Now she loves and accepts all aspects of my personality.

However ... Now that SV revealed she's a comic fan ... Who knows?

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

Originally Posted by Anubis

But is she a comic book fan like you are a comic book fan?

We can be very polarizing you know. I once stabbed a friend in the leg with a fork for saying Wolverine could beat Lobo in a fight.

Well, I remember a certain DC Vs. Marvel comic...Oh wait, I found it!

The primary six battles (with winners in bold type) were: Aquaman (DC) vs. Namor (Marvel); Elektra (Marvel) vs. Catwoman (DC); Flash (DC) vs. Quicksilver (Marvel); Robin (DC) vs. Jubilee (Marvel); Silver Surfer (Marvel) vs. Green Lantern (DC); and Thor (Marvel) vs. Captain Marvel (DC). The other duels, which were decided by fan vote, were: Batman (DC) vs. Captain America (Marvel);[2] Spider-Man (Marvel) vs. Superboy (DC); Wolverine (Marvel) vs. Lobo (DC); Storm (Marvel) vs. Wonder Woman (DC); and Superman (DC) vs. Hulk (Marvel).

Source

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DC_vs._Marvel


Just sayin'. You stabbed your friend for nothin.

[gohei_]

Originally Posted by Erzengel

I ask her during dinner, what's her top 3 favorite movies. If she doesn't list Star Wars as at least #2. I excuse myself to the bathroom and crawl out the window.

One of the best posts I've seen


EDIT: Seriously, do you mind if I use this as my sig?

[Erzengel]

Originally Posted by steintym

Now she loves and accepts all aspects of my personality.

I think the word you are looking for is tolerates.

[Poeman]

Originally Posted by Erzengel

Poe: I love cinema.
Girl: Really? I love Kurosawa, Hitchcock and Griffith.
Poe:
Poe: Did you ever watch The Dark Knight?

haha, Indeed.

Btw, the way the guys talk about relationships...It feels like an episode out of Friends with Joey and Chandler lol

[steintym]

Originally Posted by Erzengel

I think the word you are looking for is tolerates.

Yeah, you're probably right. That is a more accurate way of putting it.

[Anubis]

Originally Posted by THE MR. TERRIFIC

Well, I remember a certain DC Vs. Marvel comic...Oh wait, I found it!

The primary six battles (with winners in bold type) were: Aquaman (DC) vs. Namor (Marvel); Elektra (Marvel) vs. Catwoman (DC); Flash (DC) vs. Quicksilver (Marvel); Robin (DC) vs. Jubilee (Marvel); Silver Surfer (Marvel) vs. Green Lantern (DC); and Thor (Marvel) vs. Captain Marvel (DC). The other duels, which were decided by fan vote, were: Batman (DC) vs. Captain America (Marvel);[2] Spider-Man (Marvel) vs. Superboy (DC); Wolverine (Marvel) vs. Lobo (DC); Storm (Marvel) vs. Wonder Woman (DC); and Superman (DC) vs. Hulk (Marvel).

Source

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DC_vs._Marvel


Just sayin'. You stabbed your friend for nothin.

Except that was fan voted....fans, like my friend who don't know a web shooter from their dingus.

Lobo is Superman class strong and has a healing factor that makes Wolverine look like an anemic corpse with AIDS.
:
I stabbed him because he's was an idiot, and I"d do it again too!!!