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Old 05-01-2014, 01:34 AM   #101
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Default Re: Finances: Advice, Woes and all things Money!

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Originally Posted by MrsKent26 View Post
I have a question too:

How can I stop shopping?

I've gotten better over the years than I have been in the past, but I still cannot stop. It wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have goals. I want to do some (unnecessary, of course) renos to my house, but I need to pay off some debt first (so I can get a huge loan for renos, lol). But I can't stop buying stuff, so I'm not getting anywhere.

Please, help me. I'm too greedy for my own good.
I just took a class on irrational behavior in economics, so I'm here to the rescue.

Easiest way to do it is to pay in cash. When you use a credit card, you don't feel the "pain of paying." But you do when you hand over the physical bills.

Only carry cash, and only up to a certain amount. Once you spend it, it's gone. If it's a big enough purchase that you'll need a credit card, it's a big enough purchase that you can go home and think about it for a couple days, then go back with your card if you're convinced you still need it.

Of course, if this is an online shopping addiction, you might be SOL regarding the cash. Unless you do something like put your credit card in a container of water (colored water so you can't read it ) and then freeze it. I've read that as a tip. That way, your impulsive shopping is curbed because you need to wait for that damn thing to melt before you can use it. (I have my main credit card number memorized so I'm glad I don't have an online shopping addiction!)

My aunt is a shopaholic about clothes. She had a bathroom as big as my studio apartment and she couldn't use it because it was full of clothes. Luckily, her husband owns his own company and rakes in the money, so he's fine with her shopping addiction. She would go every day after work. I know because I had an internship at her building one summer so we'd commute together, and IF I STEPPED INTO A MALL AGAIN THAT YEAR AFTER THAT SUMMER, IT WAS TOO SOON. DEAR GOD.

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Originally Posted by MessiahDecoy123 View Post
My wife thinks it's helpful to identify the cause of the addiction.

For example, her friend's shopping addiction comes from being teased as a kid for being poor.

She never wants to feel that way again.

Or in your case, it could be less obvious.
That's all well and good, but until you figure it out, you're out a s*** ton of money.

I'm not sure what it is with my aunt, because my mom (her sister) is completely unlike her, so I don't think it's something from her childhood. She can't resist "a deal." It's about the chase for her. She has no problem giving her clothing (still new with tags) away. When we visit her, we have to bring an empty suitcase so she can give that amount to us.

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Old 05-01-2014, 01:59 AM   #102
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Default Re: Finances: Advice, Woes and all things Money!

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My wife thinks it's helpful to identify the cause of the addiction.

For example, her friend's shopping addiction comes from being teased as a kid for being poor.

She never wants to feel that way again.

Or in your case, it could be less obvious.
I reckon it's a couple of things.

My parents were very generous with me growing up. They bought me a lot of stuff they didn't need to. I always had lots of clothes. I don't like to say that to them because it seems like I'm blaming them for being nice to me, but I do think I got a bit spoiled. My parents were just middle class folks, but I got used to having new stuff when I lived with them.

I've never really been poor, except for periods during university. Even then, it was because of poor money management. I bought unnecessary things and then would hardly have money left over for the necessary things.

Shopping also gives me something to do. It's a pass time/hobby. I'm damn good at it, lol.

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Originally Posted by Anita18 View Post
I just took a class on irrational behavior in economics, so I'm here to the rescue.

Easiest way to do it is to pay in cash. When you use a credit card, you don't feel the "pain of paying." But you do when you hand over the physical bills.

Only carry cash, and only up to a certain amount. Once you spend it, it's gone. If it's a big enough purchase that you'll need a credit card, it's a big enough purchase that you can go home and think about it for a couple days, then go back with your card if you're convinced you still need it.

Of course, if this is an online shopping addiction, you might be SOL regarding the cash. Unless you do something like put your credit card in a container of water (colored water so you can't read it ) and then freeze it. I've read that as a tip. That way, your impulsive shopping is curbed because you need to wait for that damn thing to melt before you can use it. (I have my main credit card number memorized so I'm glad I don't have an online shopping addiction!)

My aunt is a shopaholic about clothes. She had a bathroom as big as my studio apartment and she couldn't use it because it was full of clothes. Luckily, her husband owns his own company and rakes in the money, so he's fine with her shopping addiction. She would go every day after work. I know because I had an internship at her building one summer so we'd commute together, and IF I STEPPED INTO A MALL AGAIN THAT YEAR AFTER THAT SUMMER, IT WAS TOO SOON. DEAR GOD.

The using cash thing might help me a little. Virtual money is easier to spend. I'm not as bad with credit as I used to be though. I have so much credit that the amount I could access is as much as some people earn in a year. But...95% of it is unused and for "just in case" reasons. My spending is a combo of some credit use, debit card, and paypal/interact online. I don't think I'd have the will to freeze my cards though. I love those things. They're like badges of honor that I earned over the years, lol.

Internet shopping is my downfall. It's so easy and fun. I bought a lovely, useless serving bowl the other night because there was free shipping! at anthropologie. It wasn't that expensive, but I just had to have it for....reasons unknown (because I'm addicted, it seems).

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Old 05-01-2014, 02:53 AM   #103
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I reckon it's a couple of things.

My parents were very generous with me growing up. They bought me a lot of stuff they didn't need to. I always had lots of clothes. I don't like to say that to them because it seems like I'm blaming them for being nice to me, but I do think I got a bit spoiled. My parents were just middle class folks, but I got used to having new stuff when I lived with them.

I've never really been poor, except for periods during university. Even then, it was because of poor money management. I bought unnecessary things and then would hardly have money left over for the necessary things.

Shopping also gives me something to do. It's a pass time/hobby. I'm damn good at it, lol.
So would you say they sheltered you from the consequences of consumption?

My sister and I don't know what it's like to go hungry, and our parents paid for our private university tuitions, for which we will be forever grateful. When it came to shopping though, my parents always drummed it into our heads that money was for saving and wasn't free to just spend on whatever you wanted. I already have more saved up for retirement at 30 than most people actually retire on, and I did it at an entry-level job. (Although I fully admit it does help when you don't have a ton of student loans to pay back!) (And a rich uncle who gives generous Christmas gifts...) (But we totally didn't just spend it when we got it!)

Plus my parents were good role models that they rarely shopped themselves. Shopping was not a past time for us, so we grew up learning differently from our peers. My and my mom's only vices are art and craft supplies. We have far more yarn/fabric than we know what to do with. (Clearly you can tell what our hobbies are...)

A lot of our classmates' parents simply handed them a credit card when they went to the mall and they were allowed to go hog wild. Yeah, that'll teach their kids responsible financial skills.

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Originally Posted by MrsKent26 View Post
The using cash thing might help me a little. Virtual money is easier to spend. I'm not as bad with credit as I used to be though. I have so much credit that the amount I could access is as much as some people earn in a year. But...95% of it is unused and for "just in case" reasons. My spending is a combo of some credit use, debit card, and paypal/interact online. I don't think I'd have the will to freeze my cards though. I love those things. They're like badges of honor that I earned over the years, lol.

Internet shopping is my downfall. It's so easy and fun. I bought a lovely, useless serving bowl the other night because there was free shipping! at anthropologie. It wasn't that expensive, but I just had to have it for....reasons unknown (because I'm addicted, it seems).
Pfft they're just cards, they can take a bit of freezing. And if your issue IS credit cards, you need to do something about it. I mean, how badly do you want to save money? Is it worth the ego boost looking at your cards gives you?

You can try blocking shopping sites, if that's your vice. It isn't permanent because you can unblock it, but it can help curb the impulse.

I block Facebook and SHH on my computer during the afternoon, and it's helping my productivity. If I want to surf on either when I'm working, I'd have to go on my iPad, which is a bit more effort, but it does make a difference!

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Old 05-01-2014, 07:41 AM   #104
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i would probably invest in companies that supply us with things we need every day, like Kraft, General Mills, Proctor & Gamble
I've thought some of buying stock before though I was thinking of something I'd own physically. Something I could buy and fix up or resell as is for profit.

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Originally Posted by MrsKent26 View Post
I have a question too:

How can I stop shopping?

I've gotten better over the years than I have been in the past, but I still cannot stop. It wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have goals. I want to do some (unnecessary, of course) renos to my house, but I need to pay off some debt first (so I can get a huge loan for renos, lol). But I can't stop buying stuff, so I'm not getting anywhere.

Please, help me. I'm too greedy for my own good.
In my experience, the best advice is to form some new habits. Instead of eating out, start cooking at home. Less expensive, plus better quality meals. You know what you're eating when using your own ingredients. I was buying lunch every night at work but now I just drink plenty of water and wait until first thing when I get home.

With shopping, you gotta replace that activity with something else. Something constructive. Something that can earn you more money perhaps.

Greed is good but you gotta start thinking in terms of more savings instead of more stuff so you can get those debts knocked out.

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Old 05-01-2014, 11:01 AM   #105
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What really bums me out is if it wasn't for the mounds of doctor bills I have (we just had a baby) we would probably be doing ok. But the doctor bills have pretty much drained our savings and forced us to live off of crap food because it's all we can afford while we pay them off. sigh

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Old 05-01-2014, 11:09 AM   #106
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What really bums me out is if it wasn't for the mounds of doctor bills I have (we just had a baby) we would probably be doing ok. But the doctor bills have pretty much drained our savings and forced us to live off of crap food because it's all we can afford while we pay them off. sigh
I find it absolutely disgusting that your country forces you to pay medical bills for your wife to have a baby. As if a child is not already hard enough on the finances, you have to pay the hospital as well.

This disgusts me, it really does. I feel for you, Destructus.

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Old 05-01-2014, 02:26 PM   #107
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I find it absolutely disgusting that your country forces you to pay medical bills for your wife to have a baby. As if a child is not already hard enough on the finances, you have to pay the hospital as well.

This disgusts me, it really does. I feel for you, Destructus.
Seriously. It's part of why we're waiting to have a kid. Childbirth is expensive, and childcare is expensive too!

Destructus86, you can call the doctor or hospital to negotiate your costs down. Many people don't know you can do that, but very often (and I mean a majority of the time), they will work with you to make sure you'll contribute as much as you can without putting you out on the streets. If you pay in cash, ask for a discount. They expect most people to bail on the payments anyway, so the fact that you're trying will elevate you.

I have a friend who's a healthcare lawyer and a cousin in medical school. Negotiating is the only way to get something of a fair rate. Most people just don't try, but you have to try.

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Old 05-01-2014, 03:24 PM   #108
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I find it absolutely disgusting that your country forces you to pay medical bills for your wife to have a baby. As if a child is not already hard enough on the finances, you have to pay the hospital as well.

This disgusts me, it really does. I feel for you, Destructus.

Wow, what magical place do you come from that doesn't have large medical bills after having a child? I want to move there!!!

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Old 05-01-2014, 03:27 PM   #109
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Wow, what magical place do you come from that doesn't have large medical bills after having a child? I want to move there!!!
Canada.

We do have really high taxes though.

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Old 05-01-2014, 03:38 PM   #110
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So would you say they sheltered you from the consequences of consumption?

My sister and I don't know what it's like to go hungry, and our parents paid for our private university tuitions, for which we will be forever grateful. When it came to shopping though, my parents always drummed it into our heads that money was for saving and wasn't free to just spend on whatever you wanted. I already have more saved up for retirement at 30 than most people actually retire on, and I did it at an entry-level job. (Although I fully admit it does help when you don't have a ton of student loans to pay back!) (And a rich uncle who gives generous Christmas gifts...) (But we totally didn't just spend it when we got it!)

Plus my parents were good role models that they rarely shopped themselves. Shopping was not a past time for us, so we grew up learning differently from our peers. My and my mom's only vices are art and craft supplies. We have far more yarn/fabric than we know what to do with. (Clearly you can tell what our hobbies are...)

A lot of our classmates' parents simply handed them a credit card when they went to the mall and they were allowed to go hog wild. Yeah, that'll teach their kids responsible financial skills.
Yeah, I'd say my folks did shelter me from the consequences of consumption. I have learned on my own there are consequences, but I still can't stop shopping. I need the stuff!

My parents don't always support me when I try to be good either. When I spend money, they bug me about it and say I shouldn't do that. When I try to save, they say I'm being "crazy" and they want me to spend $1000 on a flight to come visit them. It's really not helpful. They don't support me paying off my student loan earlier either. They say "it's ok to have some debt."

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Pfft they're just cards, they can take a bit of freezing. And if your issue IS credit cards, you need to do something about it. I mean, how badly do you want to save money? Is it worth the ego boost looking at your cards gives you?

You can try blocking shopping sites, if that's your vice. It isn't permanent because you can unblock it, but it can help curb the impulse.

I block Facebook and SHH on my computer during the afternoon, and it's helping my productivity. If I want to surf on either when I'm working, I'd have to go on my iPad, which is a bit more effort, but it does make a difference!
The credit cards are part of the issue. They make it easier. I'd still have paypal and debit without them though. There are key websites I like, so I could try blocking them.

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In my experience, the best advice is to form some new habits. Instead of eating out, start cooking at home. Less expensive, plus better quality meals. You know what you're eating when using your own ingredients. I was buying lunch every night at work but now I just drink plenty of water and wait until first thing when I get home.

With shopping, you gotta replace that activity with something else. Something constructive. Something that can earn you more money perhaps.

Greed is good but you gotta start thinking in terms of more savings instead of more stuff so you can get those debts knocked out.
I do need to eat at home more. I just need more will power to do that. I know that I waste too much money on take-out. I'm going to try avoiding it.

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Old 07-11-2014, 03:11 PM   #111
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i wanted to bump this

i got my yearly evaluation yesterday, Outstanding for the 7th or 8th straight year. i was told by a manager that there will be cash bonuses on evals this year which means that i'll get extra money

i will either use this money towards bills, put in savings or more likely, a little bit of both.

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Old 11-15-2014, 10:58 PM   #112
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with the final payment coming out next month, I will have paid off one credit card! hallelujah!

i have another that i've got down to 350 and may be able to possibly pay that one off this year too. if not, before spring for sure!

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Old 11-15-2014, 11:28 PM   #113
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I'm horrible with money. I keep buying all these ps4 games and then never end up playing them. I payed off and am picking up WWE 2K15 and GTA V on Tuesday. I love GTA so I understand that one but I haven't watched wrestling in years, I guess I like to have 2 player fighting games to play with friends. Thinking about switching it to another game I would get more use out of though

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Old 11-16-2014, 12:02 AM   #114
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I'm horrible with money. I keep buying all these ps4 games and then never end up playing them. I payed off and am picking up WWE 2K15 and GTA V on Tuesday. I love GTA so I understand that one but I haven't watched wrestling in years, I guess I like to have 2 player fighting games to play with friends. Thinking about switching it to another game I would get more use out of though
are you buying these new? have you considered used?
Gamestop and GoHastings I'd recommend. Most of my movie/music/game collection has come from Gohastings.com (there are no Hastings stores where I live) and they have sales regularly, one right now actually.
GoHastings is on Ebates so you can get a percentage back of what you spend.

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Old 11-16-2014, 12:28 AM   #115
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Put yo money under your floor boards and don't pay yo taxes.

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Old 12-06-2014, 02:50 AM   #116
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when the last payment comes out next week, i'll have paid off a 2500 credit card in one year yay!
i've got one more down around $300 and when it's paid off, i am cancelling it.

i'm bumping this as it is the holiday season and i know many of us will be overspending our budgets. if anyone has any tips or things to share on how they budget this time a year, it could probably be useful to some of us

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Old 12-06-2014, 02:53 AM   #117
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Used book store is the best Christmas shopping ever. But that only works if you have a fairly minimalist family. I get my mom books about quilting patterns and something nerdy or funny for my dad and something witty for my sister and it is done.

I do love buying yarn to make things for people though....

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Old 12-06-2014, 02:56 AM   #118
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crocheting? i've always wanted to learn that.
i used to buy people books, but no one ever reads them lol
tbh i am pretty against the consumerist angle of christmas, but for some people i will make an exception

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Old 12-06-2014, 03:38 AM   #119
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crocheting? i've always wanted to learn that.
i used to buy people books, but no one ever reads them lol
tbh i am pretty against the consumerist angle of christmas, but for some people i will make an exception
Knitting, specifically.

I actually don't knit that regularly, but I usually guilt trip myself into making something for my goddaughter. (Last year my big project was penguin mittens for my sister...) Tackling my first sweater now, and grumbling because I misread the pattern and I have to undo 4 rows.

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Old 02-10-2015, 05:00 AM   #120
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ok got one big credit card paid off, and looks like i may possibly be able to pay off 2 more this year, thanks to big strides i took last year when i was working like 180 hours or more a month [dead]
i've got my student loan debt down to right around $2500 and that's my last major obstacle. i just requested a deferment on that due to government cutting my hours by 14 a week
but, i've gotten a day job to help off-set some of that (i hope), which starts in 2 weeks.

i haven't filed my taxes yet. i've done them, but i havent submitted them, but it looks like i'm only going to get about $600 there, which blows. i'm pretty much planning on trying to use that to get my car repaired and repainted. i have some cosmetic damage from an accident (aka dent), but i don't have the pantone codes to paint my car, so they'd have to color match at best. with it being a 3-coat paint job, i think it'd rather just get the car repainted completely. plus it's starting to fade from the sun and really needs to be redone

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Old 02-10-2015, 06:31 AM   #121
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What's the best way to hide money from the IRS? I'll be getting paid under the table to stat off my new side business and don't want Uncle Sam poking around those funds. I was thinking about putting it onto a pre-paid Visa but I buy a lot of stuff online and want to make sure I can still do that. Never had one before so what do you put in when it asks for a billing address and name on the card? Also are you able to pull cash out back off of them at an ATM? I'm sure they will tack some fees onto it but that won't really matter to me

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Old 02-10-2015, 08:48 AM   #122
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Default Re: Finances: Advice, Woes and all things Money!

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Originally Posted by DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs View Post
What's the best way to hide money from the IRS? I'll be getting paid under the table to stat off my new side business and don't want Uncle Sam poking around those funds. I was thinking about putting it onto a pre-paid Visa but I buy a lot of stuff online and want to make sure I can still do that. Never had one before so what do you put in when it asks for a billing address and name on the card? Also are you able to pull cash out back off of them at an ATM? I'm sure they will tack some fees onto it but that won't really matter to me
Do you trust the person paying you? If it's under $14,000 and he doesn't file it as a business expense, you don't have to consider it income. My uncle gives us Christmas money every year and because he considers it a gift/charity, we don't have to file it as income. (I checked with my father-in-law who's a CPA.) But ya know, it's my uncle and I trust him. And it's far under the $14,000 limit...

BUT if the person paying you considers that money a business expense and claims a business deduction from the IRS with it, I would be safe and file it. If they sense something off and catch you red-handed, you are screwed. People can get away with murder and then they go to jail shirking on their taxes....

If you're asking about hiding business income, I believe you can consider it a "hobby" if you spend more on it than you make. (Don't quote me on this, ask a professional to be sure.) But it goes both ways - you can't deduct those expenses and then not pay taxes on the income. You hide it from the IRS, it's totally hidden from the IRS, from all sides. No expenses, no deductions, and certainly not other people deducting things from it either. If anyone files a tax form and mentions it, I would file.

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Last edited by Anita18; 02-10-2015 at 09:18 AM.
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Old 02-10-2015, 12:16 PM   #123
DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs
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Default Re: Finances: Advice, Woes and all things Money!

Well to start off I'm going to be paid in cash every Monday so there will be no trail and I'd like it to stay that way. Eventually I will be 10-99 so I know how to do all that. But I don't want to keep large amounts of cash in my room so that's why I was thinking about a pre-paid visa

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Old 02-10-2015, 01:24 PM   #124
Anita18
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Default Re: Finances: Advice, Woes and all things Money!

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Well to start off I'm going to be paid in cash every Monday so there will be no trail and I'd like it to stay that way. Eventually I will be 10-99 so I know how to do all that. But I don't want to keep large amounts of cash in my room so that's why I was thinking about a pre-paid visa
What I mean is, the guy paying you, does he consider it a gift or will he be 1099-ing you later? If he's gonna give you a 1099, you need to file that income, because it will be on record that he paid you and the IRS will be expecting you to file something.

What's wrong with just putting the cash in the bank? You don't have a bank account? I handed over a ridiculous amount of cash after my wedding and the teller didn't bat an eye. You can even do it at the ATM, although that makes me nervous because what if it breaks when you're using it? I don't think it's unusual for some folks to be paid in cash. If doing the pre-paid VISA route means you'll need to pay a fee, that isn't worth it.

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Old 02-10-2015, 02:01 PM   #125
DJ_KiDDvIcIOUs
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Default Re: Finances: Advice, Woes and all things Money!

I bank with Wells Fargo but this is not going to be 10-99 till later so I don't want to pay taxes on it. I'll be making at least $500-$600 and that's a very conservative estimate. When I start doing this full time I'll be 10-99 and have a tax guy to help me with all that but to start it will be cash money under the table. And yes I do trust this guy very much so

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