The SuperHeroHype Forums  

Go Back   The SuperHeroHype Forums > SHH Community > SHH Community Forum

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-14-2016, 07:26 AM   #1
Thread Manager
SHH! Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 2
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - Part 30

This is a continuation thread, the old thread is Here

Thread Manager is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 07:26 AM   #2
Thread Manager
SHH! Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 2
Default The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - Part 30

This is a continuation thread, the old thread is Here

Thread Manager is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 07:26 AM   #3
Dark Raven
The Gal from Themyscira
 
Dark Raven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tall and tanned and young and lovely
Posts: 44,731
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - Part 30

Quote:
Originally Posted by the last son View Post
Does a small first kiss determine if you're only going to be friends? We had our second date which lasted about for hours. We were outdoors the entire time. Walking around. Not a lot of touchy feely. Lots of laughs though. Date ends we hug and have just a small peck on lips for kiss. SincE it wasn't a dramatic make out session and since we joke around a lot does that mean we're suited for friends or until she says that continue thinking we're dating?
http://pakhotline.top/video/x3gu8wp

Watch from the 06:54 mark until the 16:30 mark (A Valentine for Frasier) for your answer.

There wasn't a video version on YouTube.

__________________
Quote:
Anne Hathaway: "You did not just ask me that!! What a forward young man you are!!! My goodness!!"
Dark Raven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 07:57 AM   #4
the last son
Side-Kick
 
the last son's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,032
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - Part 30

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Raven View Post
http://pakhotline.top/video/x3gu8wp

Watch from the 06:54 mark until the 16:30 mark (A Valentine for Frasier) for your answer.

There wasn't a video version on YouTube.
I'll watch when I get home, but can you give me a short answer you may have?

the last son is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 08:10 AM   #5
Dark Raven
The Gal from Themyscira
 
Dark Raven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tall and tanned and young and lovely
Posts: 44,731
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - Part 30

Quote:
Originally Posted by the last son View Post
I'll watch when I get home, but can you give me a short answer you may have?
It depends on what you or the other person are used to normally doing, but open communication is best for no ambiguity.

__________________
Quote:
Anne Hathaway: "You did not just ask me that!! What a forward young man you are!!! My goodness!!"
Dark Raven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 08:15 AM   #6
the last son
Side-Kick
 
the last son's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,032
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

I feel if I ask her it'll show insecurities and plant the seed in her mind. I'll just see how it gOes FRiday. I text her at least we got the awkward first kiss out the way to which she responded check that off the list with a smiley face.

the last son is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 08:17 AM   #7
Dark Raven
The Gal from Themyscira
 
Dark Raven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tall and tanned and young and lovely
Posts: 44,731
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

And if you don't ask...

Well, watch the video for examples of what can happen.

__________________
Quote:
Anne Hathaway: "You did not just ask me that!! What a forward young man you are!!! My goodness!!"
Dark Raven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 08:36 AM   #8
Erzengel
|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|
 
Erzengel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 70,678
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

You could just go on a second date and try and kiss her again?

__________________
Erzengel is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 08:42 AM   #9
the last son
Side-Kick
 
the last son's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,032
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

That was our second. Our third is Friday. I'm just asking because we were just joking around the whole date and had the shortest kiss ever. Should I text her will Friday be a date?

the last son is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 08:48 AM   #10
Erzengel
|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|
 
Erzengel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 70,678
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

You can just go out this Friday and see what happens. If it's more of the same, then you can say "Hey, I'm looking for something more." and that's only if you are clicking with her and you do want something more.

__________________
Erzengel is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 09:40 AM   #11
Dark Raven
The Gal from Themyscira
 
Dark Raven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tall and tanned and young and lovely
Posts: 44,731
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

If she likes you, she will say they were dates all along since the first. If she doesn't, or has second thoughts, she'll say that they were never really dates to begin with (even if they were).

__________________
Quote:
Anne Hathaway: "You did not just ask me that!! What a forward young man you are!!! My goodness!!"
Dark Raven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2016, 09:50 AM   #12
the last son
Side-Kick
 
the last son's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,032
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

We'll see Friday. I guess a small kiss is better than rejection

the last son is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2016, 04:03 AM   #13
Anita18
DANCE FOR ME, FUNNY MAN!
 
Anita18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 25,882
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

My husband and I were the slowest people ever, and are still pretty boring in terms of romantic gestures. (For a while I wasn't even sure he liked me all that much, but he kept asking me out!) We ended up married, more or less happier every year. My sister moves fairly fast with her relationships (obviously ) but nothing has worked out for her super long-term yet. You just never know.

A friend of mine believes that love isn't valid unless it's a wildly romantic kind of love, and that she'll never get it unless she's beautiful. (She already is a very attractive woman - I suspect she has body dysmorphia, but that's another thing entirely...) IMO that's something that doesn't happen to you unless you have a very open and trusting personality, and I'm just too attuned to potential BS (or too left-brained) to ever let it happen to me in the first place.

And I dunno about you, but I'll take boring unconditional emotional support over flowery words any day. I remember early on, one of the first things I noticed that made me think "Wow, this guy's different" was when I told him my plans to move away for a specialized grad program, and his first reaction was, "You should do it!" instead of worrying about our future together. And lo, I didn't end up doing that thing anyway! But I never forgot his attitude.

And just this past week, I told him I was doing research about how to be more involved politically, and the first thing he said was, "I don't know how I can support you, but let me know how I can do that," not how I was overreacting or I should just keep my head down and concentrate on my job. Or even worrying.

__________________
To relive the TDK virals (or learn more!) visit http://www.whysoseriousredux.com
Anita18 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2016, 08:22 AM   #14
SuperDan007
Side-Kick
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 99
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Okay, so this is quite embarrassing that I'm asking this question. It is stupid and a bit pathetic. But I need to ask it because I hate feeling like this.

There is the girl that I REALLY like. I guess you could say I've caught the love bug bad. This girl I've known for a couple of months. She's smart, beautiful, passionate about political issues (like I am) and ticks all of my boxes when I am looking for a girl to be more than friends with.

Here's my problem though. I am not sure whether she feels the same way. We are both members of the same political party. She told me that her previous boyfriend did not want her to be a member of said political party. The boyfriend that I THINK she was referring too is now my co-worker (and close ally for political purposes) and they clearly DO NOT like each other.

I would like to ask her out, but as I said, I'm not sure she feels the same way but I'm not good at the "games" that go with chasing a girl. My real problem is that I have this nervous feeling that can only be described as love sickness. Not because she has said no, or rejected me, but because I do not know where I actually stand and my feelings are so strong. It is troubling me.

I don't want to ruin the friendship, but I had a previous experience with a girl where I bottled my feelings up for so long without actually resolving it one way or the other, that I got so nervous around her that I could not talk when I was around her, or if I was able to, it was broken sentences. I ended up ruining the friendship anyway. (If you watch Supergirl you'll get this reference), like Winn, I don't want to bottle my feelings up so much that I end up ruining the friendship anyway.

Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those guys that pushes the point when a girl says no. I just move on. It's not knowing that eats me up.

What should I do? If you guys think I should ask her out, how should I do it? If you guys think I shouldn't, how should I deal with these feelings of nervousness that I have when I just think about her, which is quite a lot?

SuperDan007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2016, 09:02 AM   #15
the last son
Side-Kick
 
the last son's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 5,032
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDan007 View Post
Okay, so this is quite embarrassing that I'm asking this question. It is stupid and a bit pathetic. But I need to ask it because I hate feeling like this.

There is the girl that I REALLY like. I guess you could say I've caught the love bug bad. This girl I've known for a couple of months. She's smart, beautiful, passionate about political issues (like I am) and ticks all of my boxes when I am looking for a girl to be more than friends with.

Here's my problem though. I am not sure whether she feels the same way. We are both members of the same political party. She told me that her previous boyfriend did not want her to be a member of said political party. The boyfriend that I THINK she was referring too is now my co-worker (and close ally for political purposes) and they clearly DO NOT like each other.

I would like to ask her out, but as I said, I'm not sure she feels the same way but I'm not good at the "games" that go with chasing a girl. My real problem is that I have this nervous feeling that can only be described as love sickness. Not because she has said no, or rejected me, but because I do not know where I actually stand and my feelings are so strong. It is troubling me.

I don't want to ruin the friendship, but I had a previous experience with a girl where I bottled my feelings up for so long without actually resolving it one way or the other, that I got so nervous around her that I could not talk when I was around her, or if I was able to, it was broken sentences. I ended up ruining the friendship anyway. (If you watch Supergirl you'll get this reference), like Winn, I don't want to bottle my feelings up so much that I end up ruining the friendship anyway.

Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those guys that pushes the point when a girl says no. I just move on. It's not knowing that eats me up.

What should I do? If you guys think I should ask her out, how should I do it? If you guys think I shouldn't, how should I deal with these feelings of nervousness that I have when I just think about her, which is quite a lot?
I'D ask her out for a coffee or anything outside of where you see her and get to know her on a personal level. If she says yes to meeting you somewhere you have a shot

the last son is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2016, 09:43 AM   #16
Erzengel
|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|
 
Erzengel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 70,678
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDan007 View Post
Okay, so this is quite embarrassing that I'm asking this question. It is stupid and a bit pathetic. But I need to ask it because I hate feeling like this.

There is the girl that I REALLY like. I guess you could say I've caught the love bug bad. This girl I've known for a couple of months. She's smart, beautiful, passionate about political issues (like I am) and ticks all of my boxes when I am looking for a girl to be more than friends with.

Here's my problem though. I am not sure whether she feels the same way. We are both members of the same political party. She told me that her previous boyfriend did not want her to be a member of said political party. The boyfriend that I THINK she was referring too is now my co-worker (and close ally for political purposes) and they clearly DO NOT like each other.

I would like to ask her out, but as I said, I'm not sure she feels the same way but I'm not good at the "games" that go with chasing a girl. My real problem is that I have this nervous feeling that can only be described as love sickness. Not because she has said no, or rejected me, but because I do not know where I actually stand and my feelings are so strong. It is troubling me.

I don't want to ruin the friendship, but I had a previous experience with a girl where I bottled my feelings up for so long without actually resolving it one way or the other, that I got so nervous around her that I could not talk when I was around her, or if I was able to, it was broken sentences. I ended up ruining the friendship anyway. (If you watch Supergirl you'll get this reference), like Winn, I don't want to bottle my feelings up so much that I end up ruining the friendship anyway.

Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those guys that pushes the point when a girl says no. I just move on. It's not knowing that eats me up.

What should I do? If you guys think I should ask her out, how should I do it? If you guys think I shouldn't, how should I deal with these feelings of nervousness that I have when I just think about her, which is quite a lot?
You've known her for 2 months. I'm not sure what type of "friendship" you may have cultivated in that time.

I'd just ask her out for drinks or if you are so inclined to an event you know she'd like.

__________________
Erzengel is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2016, 11:21 AM   #17
Dark Raven
The Gal from Themyscira
 
Dark Raven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tall and tanned and young and lovely
Posts: 44,731
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Just ask her out. Not doing so means you're turning her into a fantasy and putting her on a pedestal the less you actually get to know her that she'll never meet your expectations. It's better to know where you stand. Just sitting back and thinking you might have a chance if, in reality, you never did is like the Democrat supporters getting their hopes up about Hillary Clinton and then finding out when the election results came in that she was so far of the mark and was never really in the frame.

Dark Raven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2016, 07:31 AM   #18
SuperDan007
Side-Kick
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 99
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Raven View Post
Just ask her out. Not doing so means you're turning her into a fantasy and putting her on a pedestal the less you actually get to know her that she'll never meet your expectations. It's better to know where you stand. Just sitting back and thinking you might have a chance if, in reality, you never did is like the Democrat supporters getting their hopes up about Hillary Clinton and then finding out when the election results came in that she was so far of the mark and was never really in the frame.
That is very true now that you have mentioned it. Also, I love the political reference there being a political nerd.

SuperDan007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2016, 12:24 AM   #19
Ivan Drago
Do Not Want
 
Ivan Drago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Russia
Posts: 2,311
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Would you date someone with a stutter?

Ivan Drago is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2016, 08:31 AM   #20
Dark Raven
The Gal from Themyscira
 
Dark Raven's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tall and tanned and young and lovely
Posts: 44,731
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivan Drago View Post
Would you date someone with a stutter?
I...I...I'm n..n..not... s...s...sure...

__________________
Quote:
Anne Hathaway: "You did not just ask me that!! What a forward young man you are!!! My goodness!!"
Dark Raven is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2016, 08:22 PM   #21
Anita18
DANCE FOR ME, FUNNY MAN!
 
Anita18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 25,882
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivan Drago View Post
Would you date someone with a stutter?
I am someone with a stutter, sometimes severe depending on my nervousness. I'm very glad my husband didn't/doesn't mind. It was one of the very first things I noticed about him. (Turns out, he doesn't really like mindless chatter anyway, hah.)

If you ask him, he would say he isn't settling at all for someone like me. I was the only woman he could stand to be around for more than 3 months, anyway. (We've been together 8 years now.) It's probably pretty low on his possible descriptors of me.

My coworkers usually don't mind either, but people tend to get weird about the folks they date, haha. At any rate, I haven't been made fun of it in years and years. (Although, thanks Dark Raven. ) At worst, people don't know what to do with it, but continuing on like everything's normal seems to work for me.

Having a stutter doesn't mean anything about your intelligence. I went to an elite liberal arts college in the US (top 5 on various rankings for the past 10 years or so) and knew several other stutterers there. I was a cancer researcher for 7 years. I've been described by one of my managers as "very articulate" which is funny because the first time she met me, it was at the job interview and my stutter was AWFUL. But I seem to choose the right words. You can read my posts and ask anyone here about how intelligent I am.

It's just something that happens. For me, I think it's how my anxiety just manifests, because I'm someone with fairly low anxiety to begin with. The more familiar I am with you, the less I stutter. I still stutter a little around my husband because he doesn't really engage during conversations, and my lizard brain starts to get anxious that he doesn't care for the subject. But as I mentioned before, he doesn't care a whit.

__________________
To relive the TDK virals (or learn more!) visit http://www.whysoseriousredux.com

Last edited by Anita18; 11-19-2016 at 01:53 PM.
Anita18 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2016, 08:56 PM   #22
Erzengel
|-o-| (-o-) |-o-|
 
Erzengel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 70,678
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Sometimes when I'm nervous I talk fast, I have to consciously try and slow down with what I'm trying to say especially when I'm testifying in front of Municipal Planning/Zoning Boards.

__________________
Erzengel is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-19-2016, 02:08 PM   #23
Anita18
DANCE FOR ME, FUNNY MAN!
 
Anita18's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 25,882
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erzengel View Post
Sometimes when I'm nervous I talk fast, I have to consciously try and slow down with what I'm trying to say especially when I'm testifying in front of Municipal Planning/Zoning Boards.
That's not the same thing as a chronic stutter, though. Tons of people talk fast with tight throats when they're publicly speaking.

Presumably, Ivan Drago is referring to someone with uncontrollable tics or repetitions in their speech, or facial tics to try to prevent the speech tics. (The second often isn't identified as a stutter by non-stutters, but it's the same thing. We stutterers know a fellow stutterer when they start to talk, haha.)

But yeah, it seriously means nothing about their intelligence. The only way to make a stutter better is to treat it like no big deal. I'm part of a Toastmasters public speaking club, to periodically remind myself that stuttering in front of people is no big deal. I've given public talks before, and gotten positive feedback on it. I actually do public speaking and networking events WAY more than my husband, who doesn't stutter, hah.

Any assumptions about what someone's intelligence/personality is like just because they have a stutter is just that - knee-jerk assumptions. I LOVE sharing ideas with others, which is the much bigger factor over my general behavior than the fact I have a speech impediment.

__________________
To relive the TDK virals (or learn more!) visit http://www.whysoseriousredux.com
Anita18 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-19-2016, 09:05 PM   #24
Ivan Drago
Do Not Want
 
Ivan Drago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Russia
Posts: 2,311
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Raven View Post
I...I...I'm n..n..not... s...s...sure...
I knew I would get a response like this

Ivan Drago is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-19-2016, 09:15 PM   #25
Ivan Drago
Do Not Want
 
Ivan Drago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Russia
Posts: 2,311
Default Re: The Relationship Thread: Because Superhero Forums are Full of Sexperts! - - Part

But yeah I do have a stutter, and recently it's been pretty severe. When I was a kid it wasn't so bad and it rarely bothered me, but the older I get the worse it gets. I don't have the kind of stutter where I repeat words, I just block all the time. I simply can't get the word out. It's like an invincible force is keeping my mouth shut, I usually have to replace words (which doesn't work most of the time).

It's just so frustrating. I'm a normal looking guy, I don't have tics or anything like that. I've been told I'm cute looking and I think I have a good personality, but my dating life is non-existent. Social life is tough too, but I have a few close friends, so I manage.

I did speech therapy when I was younger, don't remember it helping.

You think I should still try dating? I'm still 19 so it's not a huge focus (yet) but dating is something I've really started to think about. I just don't know how the hell I can carry a conversation when I can't even say the sentence I want.

With people who aren't family are close friends, I usually just say 6-10 words at a time so I don't stutter. Any more and I'll start blocking. Even then I can't say certain words.


Last edited by Ivan Drago; 11-19-2016 at 09:25 PM.
Ivan Drago is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:46 AM.

monitoring_string = "dee460792f24517621e3ca080805de7e"



Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SuperHeroHype.com is a property of Mandatory Media, LLC, an Evolve Media, LLC company. ©2018 All Rights Reserved.