Tivo the Hype (Back from the Dead)

[Lackey]

Originally posted by CantThinkOfAName
it has to do with the fact that youre the third wheel in our forced-anal debauchery. i don't even bother putting my dick in your ass after im done with jake. I stick a tortoise in there and your anally-retarded ass can hardly tell the difference

[Lackey]

Originally posted by CantThinkOfAName
rogue is teh creator of the monster known as "im back" but its like dragonball z. first, you see that, and you're like "oh ****, i just peed my pants" but them some **** like the TB comes, and "Im back" just looks like jake's inbred sister/gerbal.


i watch too much anime


and gerbal sex

Originally posted by CantThinkOfAName
You see, jake, this is crossing the line (in terms of comedy). BEcause everyone does imbred-redneck jokes. But I added a level, implying that your family has somehow had sex with a rodent at some point in their farm-orgy, to reporduce a half-human half-gerbal sister for you. You have to think outside the gaping hole in alf's ass

[Lackey]

Originally posted by masteryoda
Brillant!


I'm loving the fact that Jake is reading this right now and can't respond. I always felt he was a closet jesus freak, I remember Lackey telling about the time he was fingering Jakes ass and he pulled out a rosery and Jake said he kept it in there because there's some sort of loophole about sodomy not being a sin if you have one of them stuck up there. Then lackey swalloed the roasery because he figured that since he's been giving B.J's for quarters he should cover his bases.

Originally posted by CantThinkOfAName
haha


Oh lackey, he has lips even Jesus couldnt say no to

Originally posted by masteryoda
And an ass that even Ghandi would eat.

[Lackey]

Originally posted by CantThinkOfAName
That CSI episode seriously freaked me out. I mean, thats crzier than anything we've even discussed

Originally posted by Jakesteraholic
Why, it's not like they're doing it with real animals. I mean it's not even close to beastiality, it's not even like human-animal relations, since they are both impersonating animals--think of it as a reinaction of what you'd see routinely on the discovery channel. Besides, when humans do it doggy style it's just one step away from what you saw on CSI.

Ok I admit I have a zebra costume and I make woof noises when I touch myself.

Originally posted by CantThinkOfAName
Im just saying, dressing up as animals and getting in an orgy, thats thinking outside the box. I mean, here we talk about sodomy and beatiality and the such, but if they have names for the type of sex we talk about, then how creative can we be?

Originally posted by Jakesteraholic
Ok, I get your drift. So let's each bite one side of a carrot and jerk off on each other's bellies. We'll do it at NASA headquarters on one of their helipads. They don't have a name for that yet

Originally posted by CantThinkOfAName
I thought they called it American politics

[Kipobe]

What's with the CTOAN suck cock fest?

[Corinthian™]

LMAO... man... I love CTOAN sucking *****

[Son of Blight]

Corinthian must die

[Son of Blight]

Originally posted by Son of Blight
Corinthian must die

[Lackey]

instant self-tivo

[CantThinkOfAName]

Killa Pooh Bear: "What's with the CTOAN suck cock fest? "

The same thing that's with your mom's filthy underwear that she keeps for the memories



And that's right *****, i didnt even give you the chance to be instant tivoed. Hahahaha im a goddamn genius

[Kipobe]

I noticed that... it was kinda like a VCR moment, or even a rerun. That hurts. Biznitch!

[Kipobe]

Actually, I noticed something... you think you're all clever with your "non-tivoing" self; but whatchu did was something Mnemosyme would do, and it's never cool to be like Mnemosyme.

You lose forever x alot.

[CantThinkOfAName]

oh god dammit youre right

[Corinthian™]

shut up cock sucker

You half man/half woman/half dyke, you...

[The Hero]

Originally Posted by Kaka Hippie

The Passion of the Christ: Special Editon Director's Cut

Mel Gibson's controversial film, The Passion of the Christ, will be released on Tuesday, August 31st. But fans should be aware that there is special edition being planned, appropriately enough, for a Christmas release. Mel Gibson has been quoted as saying, "Obviously the MPAA was not going to allow me to release my director's cut of the film in theaters with an R rating. Luckily DVD allows me to go back and reinstate the scenes that I think flesh out the message of the film." The 2004 blockbuster which nailed the number one spot for numerous weeks and was the top grossing film of the year before Shrek 2, divided its viewers with its lack of contextual information and what some might call excessive violence. Mel Gibson hopes his director's cut will help people understand the message he was trying to get across.

Disc One:
Theatrical Cut (Widescreen)
Commentary by Mel Gibson, Jim Caviezal
Commentary by God, Jesus, Mary, Pontius Pilate

Disc Two:
Extended Director's Cut (Widescreen)
Commentary by Mel Gibson, Jim Caviezal
Selected Scene Commentary by God, Jesus, Mary, Pontius Pilate

Disc Three:
Pre-Production: Green-Lighting JC
3 in-depth featurettes that go inside the writing and planning stages of the film
- BIBLICAL BEGINNINGS
- THIS PART HAS TOO MUCH TALKING
- WHAT'S ARAMAIC FOR "PLEASE STOP WHIPPING ME"?

Disc Four:
Production: It's ****ing hot in the desert
4 featurettes exploring the making of the film
- "THE MAN BEHIND THE CROWN" AN INTIMATE LOOK AT JIM CAVIEZAL
- LIGHTING THE SCOURGING
- MAD MEL: A MAN AND HIS CRAFT
- AND THE RIVER RAN RED: A WACKY LOOK AT THE SPECIAL MAKE-UP EFFECTS

Disc Five:
Post-Productions: Ka-Ching
3 featurettes focusing on the release
- HOW MANY TIMES CAN HE FALL? AN INTIMATE LOOK AT EDITING
- THE EXPLOITATION OF THE CHRIST
- MARKETING THE CHRIST
Theatrical teaser
2 Theatrical trailers
Preview Trailer for THE REAL WORLD GOLGOTHA

The deluxe box also features:
Soundtrack CD
12 page Screenplay/Scrapboook
Crucifiction nail necklace
A Passion Of The Christ T-Shirt
Free Movie Ticket to "Meet the Fockers"

THE EXTENDED DIRECTORS CUT INCLUDES:
Spicy footage too hot for theaters.
Extended scourging, now with improved screaming
Improved special effects
Re-instated Jabba the Hutt scene
and the notorious courtroom subplot starring Coolio.

Retail is 129.95

Originally Posted by The Joker

man, I heard about that cut out Jabba scene...I hear Jesus steps on his tail, and then Boba Fett beats him with a Tandarian energy whip for a half an hour for insulting his boss...how bad ass is that!?!?!

[Kipobe]

You're such a Tivoer.

[Kipobe]

Originally Posted by Al Frocks

Boy, that ****ing Frocks can say some ****ed up ****, can't he?

[Corinthian™]

spammer

Every thread needs more Kypade. I'm just going to a few key threads, and spreading the word.

If I were a spammer; I'd do it in every thread, like it should be.

[Jennifer Lopez]

Originally Posted by Killa Snoopy

You've gone insane.

[Liquid Snake]

This thread is great. My spydeer man posts are probably deleted though now. Those were the best.

[Kipobe]

Originally Posted by Jennifer Lopez

Alf rubs off on people. His essence lives on.

It's funny because it was said in total innocence... even though it was posted directly after this picture:

[Jennifer Lopez]

You and Draven are word twisters. And twins.

[The Hero]

Originally Posted by logansoldcigar

1. Go for a bike ride.
then shag in the woods, against a tree

2. Go to a high school football game.
then shag under the stands, its a ****e sport, and the thrill of possibly gettin caught is something to be tried

3. Put together a puzzle with 1,000 pieces.
just be careful..those pieces irritate yer farmers when they get cuaght in yer A$$crack whilst shaggin

4. Go to an amusement park.
Shag on the ferris wheel

5. Hold hands.
then put them in her pants

6. Play hide-and-seek in a cornfield.
shag in the corn. no one will see you

7. Go horseback riding.
or bareback riding

8. Go inline skating.
hmmmm boogie nites, roller girl.

9. Pray together.
the shag her on the alter

10. Do a crossword puzzle.
then draw on her with a pen, and take a shower together to wash off the ink

11. Play Twister.
yep. naked twister is nearly as much fun as naked leapfrog

12. Have a picnic in the middle of winter.
shaggin in the snow is good. little pink nips.

13. Clip pictures of your favorite bands from magazines and create your own posters.
spill glue on her clothes, then suggest running them thru the washing machine. then shag her on the washing machine as it goes thru the spin cycle (all the girls know that lil pleasure )

14. Bake brownies.
shag her on the kitchen table, and clean melted choccy of her bits.

15. Go to a free community concert.
if its open air, i refer you to No. 2. if its indoors, why do you think they invented restrooms.

16. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
see 15

17. Take your grandparents out for dinner at a fast food restaurant.
see 16

18. Take a walk on the beach.
and shag in the sanddunes. just remeber to take a blanket!!

19. Take your dog for a walk in the park.
or take your girl for a *ahem* pork in the park.

20. Interview your parents or grandparents about their love stories.
or shag instead.

21. Watch your favorite Disney movie.
yeah, and dress as aladdin and jasmine. a bit of roleplsay never hurt (well, unless it involves a riding crop....or so i was told )

22. Do homework together.
sex education. get onto the practical.

23. Play sand volleyball with your friends.
see 18. its an orgy this time.

24. Make a candlelight dinner for each other.
and eat blindfolded. very sensual.

25. Make paper airplanes.
using pages from porn mags.

26. Look up all the synonyms for “love.”
especially the physical kind

27. Play Monopoly.
dont use the car tho...its to slim, and can disappear in places it shouldnt go to.. i suggest the little doggy and the battleship.

28. Go fishing.
sex in water. hard work tho, chaps.

29. Take a hike in the woods.
see 1

30. Play on swing sets in a park.
hmmm. let gravity do the work

31. Eat something you have never tried before.
i refuse to comment on the grounds its just to easy.

32. Visit a Japanese restaurant and do karaoke.
they eat sushi of naked chicks. you can recreate this at home

33. Eat ice cream cones (or make sundaes).
hmmmmm..dribbled ice cream is good.

34. Color eggs–even if it isn’t Easter.

35. Play in the leaves.
you can touch and no one will see

36. Go to the park and pretend like you’re 6 years old again.
yes, you can offer to show her yours if she will show you hers.

37. Go to a G-rated movie.
back row. nuff said

38. Have a squirt gun fight.
see 31

39. Play in the rain.
oh yes, a storm. electrisity in the air. really good for the bloodflow chaps

40. Paint a picture.
use choccy body paint

41. Visit sick people in the hospital.
find an empty room and play "malpractice"

42. Have a pizza party with your ten closest friends.
can you spell orgy?

43. Play 20 Questions.
if you ask her if shes feeling frisky, shes gonna say yes once at least.

44. Go on a picnic.
shagging in the open air.

45. Have a burping contest.
yep...after the blindfolded, candlelite dinner.

46. Play charades.
porn charades. "its a film....(try acting out erotic gladiators)

47. Go to the fair and ride the Ferris Wheel.
shag on it

48. Head to Wal-Mart to try on shoes—in styles you’d never buy.
or shag in the restrooms

49. Jump on a trampoline.
watch her boobies bounce..itll get ya frisky!!

50. Visit an animal shelter.
yep....ask to see her little cat and her flat tailed, dam building, waterlodge dwelling rodent. she can ask to see your male bird.

51. Take a boat ride.
water sex again, boys

52. Fly a kite.
on a lonely hill. then shag.

53. Play video games.
or go online and find some stimulation.

54. Listen to music together.
in your bedroom?

55. Go to the zoo.
see 50

56. Talk.
dirty.

57. Travel someplace new, like a small town or huge city.
or a motel that rents out rooms by the hour

58. Play miniature golf.
remeber the Simpsons?

59. Bake homemade pizza.
back on the table again.

60. Look at the stars (and share your ideas about life on other planets!).
hmmmm...an empty clearing. the stars. we know where thats going

61. Read 1 Corinthians 13.
and all that was left was faith, hope and charity. and the greatest of this was hope? watcha hopin for?

62. Lip-synch to Oldies.
or lip locking with yer own age

63. Go bowling.
hmmmm...three fingers????????

64. Watch a scary old horror movie.
yep..she will snuggle close....a deft touch...then its time to go bowling.

65. Get dressed up really nice and go to McDonald’s.
back in those restrooms

66. Watch a movie that you haven’t seen since you were a kid.
like yer olders brothers secret porno?

67. Volunteer to work in your church nursery on a Sunday morning.

the when the church is empty, shag on the alter

68. Go to the mall and get your pictures taken in a little photo booth.
flashin yer bits

69. Invent a new game.
naked leapfrog.

70. Take a kickboxing class.
hmmm. all sweaty and in the showers

71. Go to a college sports event.
back to under those stands again.

72. Surf the Web.
the worlds largest source of porn

73. Read love poems out loud.
"roses are red, violets are blue, give me some cash, and ill shag you"
how romantic

74. Arm wrestle.
peek down her shirt.

75. Go on a group date.
ohhhhhhh that orgy again.

76. Learn how to juggle.
let her juggle yer balls

77. Take ballroom dancing lessons.
hmmmm..bodies close together...sweat glistening

78. Run errands for your parents.
to the chemist?

79. Help each other clean out your closets.
all her underwear

80. Play soccer with your younger siblings.
"breastball ref!!"

81. Make a present for your mothers.
yes. a nice surprise.

82. Surprise your parents by cleaning the house.
naked?

83. Stay after church and help the janitor pick up bulletins.
back on that alter again

84. Rake leaves, shovel snow, plant flowers.
ahhhh, back in the snow. lil pink nips

85. Buy a disposable camera and take funny pictures of each other.
hmmmmm. strip photos. just remember, ask for the back.

86. Get involved with your school, church, and community.
where else will you find a girl?

87. Try to put something together without looking at the directions.

88. Go to the library and read a children’s book out loud (quietly!).
then go the adult erotica section. see if you can frap her under the table without being shushed

89. Build a snowman or a sandcastle.
nips or dunes?

90. Browse at an antique store.
or a porn one

91. Play baseball without a bat or ball.
use the 12 inch black rubber thing at the back of her knicker draw?

92. Go to a museum or an art exhibit.
look athe naked statues

93. Get a walkie-talkie and pretend you’re on a secret mission.
direct her from afar, and listen to the sounds she makes.

94. Look at the clouds and see what you can make them into.
Porn.

95. Go to the grocery store with $5 and buy dinner.
yep, some chocolate syrup.

96. Pick a dandelion bouquet for your mother.
back in the woods.

97. Make rock videos.
try porn ones. easier to make at home

98. Read a magazine (Guideposts for Teens!).
playboy!!!!

99. Take a jog around the neighborhood.
then meet her in an alleyway. much better exercise.

100. Wash your fathers’ cars.
hmmmm. one night at mcccols. cool hand luke. all soapy and wet.
nuff said

...