Tivo the Hype (Back from the Dead)

[Halcohol]

This is TiVo.

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Originally Posted by Wilhelm-Scream

That's sick.
Watch out for the Mango Garlic Vinaigrette with capers and candied fennel gravy sorbet.

Lol, that's like a funny man's Savoy Truffle.

[Darthphere]

Originally Posted by Not Jake

I lost my hearing from dick in the ear. Next time I'm exposed to dick, it might do something worse

[Lackey]

Dathphee, you sneaky mexican

[Darthphere]

Im Nicaraguan damnit!

[Darthphere]

Originally Posted by celldog

I agree. Not everything is the race card.

For the sake of irony.

[hippy fascist]

Originally Posted by Wilhelm-Scream

Mod Power Abuse K. Mosi. :meow:

for posterity

[Not Jake]

Dear ass clots,

This is the tivo thread. Where you tivo stuff. Not the chat thread, where you chat for most of the last 2 or 3 pages. If you can't get it through your heads, I'll call in my favors with Truthteller (by the way, you left your horse dildo at my place, honey) and have you banned.

[Holly Goodhead]

Originally Posted by Not Jake

Dear ass clots,

This is the tivo thread. Where you tivo stuff. Not the chat thread, where you chat for most of the last 2 or 3 pages. If you can't get it through your heads, I'll call in my favors with Truthteller (by the way, you left your horse dildo at my place, honey) and have you banned.

come on now sugar, bring it on bring it on yeah

a long time ago, we used to be friends.

[The Amazing Lee]

Originally Posted by Not Jake

Dear ass clots,

This is the tivo thread. Where you tivo stuff. Not the chat thread, where you chat for most of the last 2 or 3 pages. If you can't get it through your heads, I'll call in my favors with Truthteller (by the way, you left your horse dildo at my place, honey) and have you banned.

Not Jake....you have violated my feelings. Please don't do that.

Or I may have to spread butter on your nuts.

[The Hero]

Thealiasman2000:Man,Myth,Macrophile.


During my years on this message board,few posters have managed to captivate me in such a short amount of time like Thealiasman has.I still remember our iconic meeting...

Originally Posted by The Hero

Another giantress reference?You're a sick mo-fo,alias.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

1-I'm a macrophile. Giantesses turn me on.

A fact which he reminds everyone of any chance he has.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

1-Yes, I love "Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold".

2-I've already said it: I'm a macrophile. I get aroused by giant women.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

Only in movies (and erotic fetish stories) can a person grow up to 60 feet without any ill consecuences or side effects (the exception being the Daryl Hannah 50 Foot Woman movie).

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

-Only in movies would someone have the Hype mentality of finding sex with a giantess revolting (50 Foot Woman remake).

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

(In Wost Moments in Movies)
11-When, despite that technology had advanced far more after the time the original was made, they decied NOT to have a sex scene in the "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" remake.

Not to mention some other quirks.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

1-I guess you don't have enough erotic imagination.

Unlike some certain hentai manga artist that I can name.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

(In Wost Moments in Movies)
18-When Troma stopped doing erotic movies

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

And I condone rape and old people getting naked no matter what fetish I have.

But there's one thing he doesn't find erotic:Sarah Michelle Gellar.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

New queastion:


which is the one actor that you hate with a burning passion despite what everyone else says, and whose character flat out irritates you?

For me, it's Sarah Michelle Gellar. The most annoying, retarded, overrated hack in the history of cinema. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" has to be the most idiotic pievce of crap ever, despite Whedon brainwashing people into thinking it was good.

What dio you say?

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

Only in the movies people can stand next to people like Sarah Michelle Gellar and resist the overpowering urge to disembowel her.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

You know why I started the Kim Possible VS Buffy thread?

Because I think Kim Possible is how Buffy SHOULD have been. She's better than her and her awful show.

My point:

-Kim Possible doesn't NEED super powers to do what she does. She can do anything, and her being a cartoon character allows her to break the laws of physics.

Sarah Michelle Gellar, on the other hand, needs wire-work and stuntment to LOOK tough, even if she's a scrawny wimp that would be mugged and ****ed in a bad LA neighborhood.

-Kim Possible is a catoon character. Buffy, on the other hand, is Sarah Michelle Gellar, the most annoying and retarded actress this side of Keanu Reeves.

-Buffy needs all of those fanboys to secure her huge but fragile ego. If she doesn't have brainless people admiring her and worshipping her, she's powerless.

Kim Possible, on the other hand,doesn't NEED fanboys to feel secure about herself.
(this post goes on for a WHILE)

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

**** **** ***** ****** ****ING SRAH MICHELLE GELLAR ****ING TARNISHING A GREAT MASTERPIECE ****ING AMERICAN MCGEE WHY THE **** DID HE MESS WITH LEWIS CARROLL'S MASTERPIECE I ****ING HATE THEM ALL !!!!!!!!!!!!!




That's all I have to say about this.

He's also very sensitive about his favorite pop star.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

AS a die-hard Michael Jackson fan, I have a complain:

why the hell was "Thriller", a HORROR song, used in "13 Going on 30"?

There was nothing scary about that movie except for Jennifer Garner's acting. It was NOT a horror movie. It was a gender-reversed version of "Big", which was NOT a horror movie.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

I think "Moonwalker" is one of the best movies I've ever seen.

But those aren't the only movies he has opinions about.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

WORST MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA:

4-When Stanley Kubrick decided to throw some ununderstandable surrealist **** after the HAL-9000 part of the plot was done in "2001: A Space Odyssey".

5-When Wes Craven stopped doing horror classics and made ****ty Whedon-like movies with butch lesbians on them.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

Just for the record, if you are gonna adress Pitof's Catwoman as Catwoman In Name Only, I'm going to stsrt adressing Nolan's Batman as Batman In Name Only (or BINO for short).

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

The Scarecrow is some guy with a cloth bag on his head instead of someone actually dressed like a scarecrow (and he DOESN'T take his name from "The Wizard of Oz", which is the way it was in the comic books).

When some people chose to make threads about popular,debatable topics,he chose a more original road.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

which is the best movie character who either dresses in white, or wore white clothes during a scene?

Unfortunately,our friendship ended a few posts after it began.

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

1-Yeah, real funny, making jokes at my expense. At least I don't have a dancing Orko as my avatar.

If there is a moral to any of this,it's this:

Originally Posted by thealiasman2000

And COMIC BOOKs are mindless fun.

GRAPHIC NOVELS are serious artistic works.

There's a difference.

[Lackey]

I love the Buffy stuff

[The Hero]

You've got to track down the thread.I don't know what's funnier: The fact that he started a Buffy vs. Kim Possible thread in the first place,the fact that his reason's are absolutely insane,or the fact that he honestly seems to think that that Sarah Michelle Gellar and Buffy are the same person.I'm serious:In one thread some mentions not licking Buffy The Vampire Slayer,and he says "Yeah,glad to see someone else realize what a ***** Sarah Michelle Gellar is".

[DOG LIPS]

Aaawwww. Sweet memories. aliasman was the first person I ever gave probation to.

[Darren Daring]

Big moment for you, I bet.

[The Hero]

A tribute to the greatest Hype spoofing since the Hooters Pimp:

Originally Posted by StarWarsAgent

It was the week of 1999. I was in Rosarito beach for Spring Break. Jason and me stayed at the famous Hotel Del Rosarito. We are good friends and I always knew that we would eventually go there and "Party like it was 1999".
It was on a thursday afternoon that we went to the set of Titanic. Down there they have a FOX studios where they built the set for the movie. We spend all day there looking at the props and the good stuff. After the visit to the set we went to a restaurant there, on the side of the cliff. We ordered lobster and some beer. We were gettin' toasted.
Already the day had been really fun. Later on, about 5pm, we went back to our hotel and got ready to go to the local bar, Senor Frogs.

Upon arrival, I immediately noticed lots of hot girls! Man, they were very hot. This was playboy's Spring Break's hot spot and we knew it when we walked into the disco. We took a booth and ordered eight dos equis cahuamas.

You wouldn't believe all the people that showed up. You would think, because it's Mexico, there would be all Mexicans there. It was all white girls and white guys running around getting drunk and having tequila shots. I met this one girl, I forgot her name, and she said, "Hey can I get a body shot", I said "Sure". Not knowing what a body shot was. So she takes off her shirt and jumps on top of the bar, then the bartender pours something on her belly and I suck it all up! It was all in fun.

It got late. I think it was about 1 am. When I got all messed up and started dancing by myself. Sorry, I do that sometimes. I get all freaky like a rock star or something or other.

Suddenly, there she was, dancing with her other girlfriends. It was like looking at an angel. Pure white face..Eyes that shine in the dark and that european beauty. Yes, it was Natalie Portman..Or as I got to call her, Nat.
I got close and began to dance next to her, acting like I didn't know who she was..pretending to be a regular guy just having fun. Of course, I was dying inside..I wanted to scream out and say something about Star Wars..But I kept quiet and just smiled. What was that movie? Dirty Dancing? yeah, it was just like that. We looked at eachother and kissed with hungy eyes. She was like the wind. And I was a free bird.

So far I kept quiet and just went along with the music. But some other part of me screamed, "Hi, what's Your name?" She replied, "Nat". I smiled.
We got close and sweaty, dancing to music I can't remember. The lights, the excitement, the party people! Yes, I was here..And I was Dancing with Natalie Portman.
I asked her to come and sit with me. She accepted the invitation, so we went back and I put my arm around her. We were just two regular people talking about Movies and Rosarito beach. "I'm here checkin out the site for a movie" She said. And continued, "I went to the set of Titanic, it's really nice there and the people are really cool". I told her I was just some guy from San Diego there to have a break. "I'm just here to chill out with my homies" I replied. We talked until 3 am. Continued to dance and drink.

I am a gentleman. So I offered, to walk her to the terrace room. "I must insist" I said. She smiled and looked down. As if thinking. She laughed and agreed.
The Hotel was about 3 blocks away. I walked her there with my arms around her waist. She felt warm and moved slowly. She smelled like a rose and looked like a goddess. I couldn't believe it! I was actually walking down the street with her, it was as if God had given me a most generous gift. I thanked him.

We arrived at her destination. There was an alcoholic odor in the air. Yeah, I've had way too much to drink. But it was all for the better because that meant I could ask her anything! So I went for it. I said softly to her ear, "Nat, can I come in"? She laughed. Looked down and replied, "Ok, but just for a few minutes, My dad would kill me" I put my arm around her neck, went inside and closed the door.

The End.


StarWarsAgent.

Originally Posted by Rambo, John J

Shouldn't this be in fan fiction?

Originally Posted by StarWarsAgent

So you all think this is fiction? You're lucky I left out the second part of the story.

Originally Posted by Erzengel

Starwarsagent: Don't be afraid.

Natalie Portman: I'm not afraid to die. I've been dying a little each day since you came back into my life.

Starwarsagent: What are you talking about?

Natalie Portman: I love you.

Starwarsagent:You love me?! I thought we decided not to fall in love. That
we would be forced to live a lie.That it would destroy our lives...

Natalie Portman: I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway. I truly, deeply love you, and before we die I want you to know.

*Starwarsagent kisses Natalie Portman Doll*

Originally Posted by The Amazing Lee

You do realise that Natalie Portman was under age. She was 14 dude.

14.
You sick disgusting pervert


and a liar.

Originally Posted by Bad Superman

StarWarsAgent. . . I just shaved. . . . for you. . .

Originally Posted by Tangled Web

Starwarsagent you crazy bastard. Meeting Portman isn't something to fool around about. Now if you ever do meet her no one will believe you. Well, unless it's on the news after she beats your ass for being weird. We'll all believe that.

Originally Posted by The Amazing Lee

Ha ha. Moved to Fan Fiction.

Pure Genius Dew.

Originally Posted by StarWarsAgent

A poem for Nat.





Skin-deep lip kiss
How much I miss
Our night at the beach
Your skin feels like peach
Dancing in the night
The moon, so bright

My arms around you
walking on the sand
Listen to the band
I kiss your hand

My mind can't see
it wont let me be
I think about you
Let me feel you

Is this love?
It won't let me be
You fly like a dove
I sit by a rock

All things must end
Our encounter was true
the sky was blue
All things must end,true

You called me lover
I called you angel
We met in heaven
Love comes, never

Nat, I will miss
That sweet goodnight kiss
I'll love you forever
For ever and ever

Night, Nat
Be glad
Be Nat.



StarWarsAgent

[Fran]

LOL, those SWA ones are great.

[The Hero]

Part 2

Originally Posted by hunter rider

You're not still claiming this story is real are you ?

Originally Posted by StarWarsAgent

From a certain point of view, It's very real.

Originally Posted by hunter rider

Originally Posted by StarWarsAgent

Ur all just a bunch of jealous haters with ur panties in a bunch!

Originally Posted by hippy fascist

there's nothing wrong with wearing panties, they feel soft against my skin and provide plenty of support

Besides panties are better than a straitjacket.

Originally Posted by StarWarsAgent

Should I post part 2 of the story? Nah, I'll leave that to imagination. Anyways, i'd like to add that when I met her and we had a great week (as friends) she gave me her cellphone number, but later changed it for other reasons and I haven't been able to contact her

Originally Posted by bored

Ah, so now it's a 'great week as friends' after pretty strongly implying in the last one that you had sex? Continuity errors always mar fan fiction.

Btw, it's always good to see a woman so hot even she can't resist grabbing her own ass.

Originally Posted by Kevin Roegele

Allow me to post my own piece of fan fiction....

Mother: Hello? Anybody here? Oh, hi Jimmy.

Jimmy: Mom, I TOLD you to call me Star Wars Agent!

Mother: And I told you you're not going to another convention until you treat your father and me with some respect! Now have you been to school today?

Jimmy: School? Why go to school when I can hang out with Harrison Ford and Mark Hamill and....

Mother: ....don't say it...

Jimmy: .....Yoda.

Mother: Yoda isn't real! And you don't hang out with the Star Wars cast!

Mother calms down.

Mother: And Jimmy....I'm sorry but....Natalie Portman is NOT your girlfriend.

Jimmy (crying): Yes she is! YES SHE IS! I love her!

Mother looks out of the window and sees a female classmate of Jimmy's walk past. Then looks down at her son hunched over a monitor, with Natalie Portman adorned not only as the wallpaper, but as posters around her son's bedroom.

Mother: Jimmy....go out and talk to that girl. Or all your Star Wars merchendise goes in the trash.

Jimmy looks up with sceptical eyes but sees, this time, his mother is not kidding.

And so Jimmy tredges outside, right into the path of the girl.

Jimmy: Er......hi....

Girl: Your mom told you to come and talk to me, right?

Jimmy: No! Well.....yeah...

Girl: So did my mom.

The moral of the story is, never go thru life hiding because you think no-one will like you. Fantasizing about Natalie Portman is hiding from real life and real women. Go out and look and you'll find a million people like you and who DO like you.

Take care of yourselves, and each other.

Originally Posted by StarWarsAgent

lol, that's some good fiction. So My name is Jimmy now? alright, whatever works for U guys. BTW, I been with real girls man. I meet real girls all the time, I go to a club once a week and get to meet tons of hot chicks. And yes, I been married, unlike so many of you, still trying to figure it out. I've had tons of GF's, married..Trust me, I had my share of cute girls..including hanging out with Nat in Rosarito ! eat that! hahahaha.

Originally Posted by hippy fascist

How do these women feel about makin bacon in your mom's basement?

Originally Posted by StarWarsAgent

Fascist! I make more than bacon in the bedroom.

Originally Posted by hippy fascist

Diorama's of grevious getting his ass whupped?

Originally Posted by StarWarsAgent

No. But let's just say it involves something you never done before.

Originally Posted by hippy fascist

That's IT, I'm gonna have to kill myslef, when this guy calls you virgin you KNOW it's all gone downhill

Originally Posted by Tangled Web

OMG! Starwarsagent really did meet Natalie Portman!!! Here's a pic!!!

Originally Posted by Mike_D202

It probably went more like this:

"I was dancing by myself because I was totally wasted during spring break and all the hot chicks were dancing away from me. I saw a chick that looked like Natalie Portman with my beer goggles so I was stumble-danced my way over to her. I smiled at her and she smiled back while turning away from me and began to dance the other way. But I could tell she wanted me because she smiled back at me anyways, so I followed her while wearing my *I love Yoda* t-shirt until her body guard pushed me to the ground and kicked sand in my face. The End."

Originally Posted by Duende Verde

We already knew your story was fake from the beginning, but you keep telling it's real.
Now I've got the ultimate fact to proove it's fake.

You say you meet her in Senor Frog's Rosarito during spring break 1999...

SENOR FROG'S ROSARITO DIDN'T OPEN IT'S DOORS UNTIL FALL 1999

how do I know this? I made the coming soon ad.

Originally Posted by Swordmaster

This plae is no fun anymore now that SWA is banned

Originally Posted by hunter rider

How did he get banned ?

Originally Posted by Swordmaster

Something about using an alternate name to post gay porn in the Lounge. You know, same old same old

Originally Posted by hippy fascist

I remeber that actually, it was kinda nasty. Let's just say it looked like it involved gargling...

**** that was him?!?!

Originally Posted by Mister J

That's just nasty ...and not "good" nasty, but "you need your ass whipped" nasty.

Oh well, no more SWA. That sucks. A loon like that doesn't come around every day. We'll always have the memories of fresh hair though.

[Equint77]

i just laughed... i forgot about the portman thread... holy ****...

[Gotendbz-2]

So no one cares about my past awesomely-retarded quotes?

[The Hero]

Originally Posted by The Joker

Oh my god, have you seen the trailers for this thing? It looks frickin hillarious. My favorite part was when the Roman guy was all like "we must stop them!" and then it went into a big montage of action scenes, like them not being able to cross a raging river and them running through the desert and hiding from Roman army troops. This may be the most unintentionally funny religious movie that's ever actually came out to theaters. Ah well, at least it's not a giant epic all in aramaic about how the jews killed Christ and are all going to rot in hell because they're the root of all evil, like some popular religous movies I could name

Originally Posted by Lord Blackbolt

I hope this movie has a suprise ending.......where the baby gets kidnaped by dingos.

Originally Posted by SuperFerret

Only if he grows up to be Paul Hogan.

Originally Posted by The Joker

Mary- Joseph! Joseph come quick!

Jospeh- Mary! Where is our beautiful baby boy, Jesus?

Mary- The...The dingos ate our baby!

Joseph- Oh noes! There is only one thing to do now!

Kangaroo Jack- G'Day mates! I'll get that wee baby back for ya!


Kangaroo Jack Meets Jesus- 2009

It'll be the film event of the season.

[The Hero]

Originally Posted by Wilhelm-Scream

Hahahaha, I showed this chick "Street Trash" which is about melting hobos.
She finally said "What is this crap?"
And I said, "If you're not liking it so far then you're probably not gonna like this rape scene that's coming up."

Then she went home.

[DOG LIPS]

Originally Posted by Erzengel

I'll give you some love.

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Originally Posted by Movies205

sometimes I wonder how it's possible the hype exists when everyone seems to be irrliterate

...

[The Amazing Lee]

HAHAHAHHA.

That just speaks for itself.