Oh, just great! Now I can't take a piss!

[oakzap425]

Got this in my Email:

A spider bite...please read...........


And you thought the brown recluse was bad!!!


Three women in North Florida , turned up at hospitals over a 5-day period,
all with the same symptoms. Fever, chills, and vomiting, followed by
muscular collapse, paralysis, and finally, death.
There were no outward signs of trauma.
Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood.
These women did not know each other, and seemed to have
nothing in common.
It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same Restaurant
(Olive Garden) within days of their deaths. The health department
descended on the restaurant, shutting it down. The food, water, and
air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail.
The big break came when a waitress at the restaurant was rushed
to the hospital with similar symptoms. She told doctors that she had
been on vacation, and had only went to the restaurant to pick up her check.
She did not eat or drink while she was there, but had used the restroom.
That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read,
drove out to the restaurant, went into the restroom, and lifted the toilet seat.
Under the seat, out of normal view, was a small spider.
The spider was captured and brought back to the lab, where it was determined
to be the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata), so named because
of its reddened flesh color. This spider's venom is extremely toxic,
but can take several days to take effect. They live in cold, dark, damp
climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere.
Several days later a lawyer from Jacksonville showed up at a hospital
emergency room. Before his death, he told the doctor, that he had been
away on business, had taken a flight from Indonesia , changing planes in
Singapore , before returning home. He did not visit (Olive Garden),
while there. He did, as did all of the other victims, have what was determined
to be a puncture wound, on his right buttock.
Investigators discovered that the flight he was on had originated in India .
The Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of
the toilets of all flights from India , and discovered the Two-Striped Telamonia
(Telamonia dimidiata) spider's nests on 4 different planes!
It is now believed that these spiders can be anywhere in the country.

So please, before you use a public toilet, lift the seat to check for spiders.


It can save your life!
And please pass this on to everyone you care about.

[Batty for Bats!]

*crosses legs* Not cool Luckily I'm a guy and I refuse to sit on public toliets.

[tzarinna]

I'll have to pack bug spray along with ozium, now

[JLBats]

Snopes will tear this story apart.

[Master Chief]

I don't use public bathrooms at all, so I'm good.

[Danger Mouse]

What you need is a man to be in the stall with you so that he can stomp out the spider whenever one creeps up the bowl. One can never be to careful.

[War Lord]

See?

It pays to piss in a cup and then pour it down the toilet.

[Jplaya2023]

Originally Posted by War Lord

See?

It pays to piss in a cup and then pour it down the toilet.

hopefully this is something you dont do.

damn she take "i cant take a piss" hillarity

[War Lord]

Originally Posted by Jplaya2023

hopefully this is something you dont do.

damn she take "i cant take a piss" hillarity

I learned it from a New York Ccbbie, because New York doesn't have many public toilets.

[Batty for Bats!]

I learned how to piss into coke cans in the dark while I sit at my computer. I'm really good at it, but I much rather tall glass or mason jars. ... Yeah, that's how I roll.

[Mr. Credible]

man, that sucks.

[The Squirrel]

http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusi...etspiders.html

This one has a few things wrong with it: There is no such thing as the Journal of the United Medical Association, nor is it likely that any such article on this subject by "Dr. Beverly Clark" ever appeared in any medical journal. Additionally, the Civil Aeronautics Board disbanded in 1984! There have been no reliable and valid accounts of such mysterious injuries or deaths at Olive Garden or any other restaurant.

This urban legend has taken many forms over the years. As it circulates, more detail is removed or replaced to make it seem more believable and less like the joke it was probably intended to be. This latest version is stripped of many of the "facts" that made earlier versions easy to research and debunk. The earliest Internet version (1999) I found links the mysterious deaths to "Big Chappies" restaurant in "Blare" airport in Chicago (presumably an abberation of "O'Hare") and identifies the spider as the hilariously named "South American Blush Spider" or "arachnius gluteus."

Omission of the fictitious airport and replacement of the equally fake spider with a real one (Two-Striped Telamonia) in this version, combined with a heady case of "False Attribution Syndrome" have given this old hoax new life.

This is not a notice from the University of North Florida. The school became unwillingly affiliated with this hoax when one of its employees (presumably "Officer Sylvia Steele," though her title seems incongruous with a position within the Science Department) received and forwarded it, inadvertently adding her signature and credibility to the message. Since it would seem that someone representing a university science department would know things like this, it makes sense to assume they are the source of it. Somewhere along the way (either coincidentally or intentionally) references to Chicago were replaced with "North Florida" to help the tale make more sense.

"False Attribution Syndrome," as we at BreakTheChain.org like to call this phenomenon, creates a lot of headache for employers and is why most prohibit their employees from using their business e-mail accounts for personal correspondence. Many employees have been reprimanded or terminated after becoming associated with a chain letter. This is just one of the very real dangers anyone faces when they forward a warning like this one without checking it out first. Break this chain!

[Warhammer]

I dont use the toilets in public places.
I only use do #1, in the urinal.

That sucks, though.

[The Squirrel]

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/buttspdr.htm

This entertaining scare story, No butts about it which first surfaced during the summer of 1999, is fairly easy to identify as a hoax by the slightly-altered and obsolete real names used to give it an air of authenticity. Thus Chicago's O'Hare airport becomes "Blare Airport," the Journal of the American Medical Association becomes the "Journal of the United Medical Association," the name of the Civil Aeronautics Board is invoked even though that organization was dissolved in 1984, and an apocryphal genus/species classification of "arachnius gluteus" (i.e., "butt spider") is assigned to the star of today's legend.

In October 2002 new life was breathed into this hoax when it was circulated anew with many of its details changed, even though the text of the warning barely shifted at all:

*
The three women hospitalized in Chicago over a five-day period became three women hospitalized in North Florida over the same space of time.

*
The spiders' ground zero (Big Chappies at Blare Airport) became an Olive Garden at an unspecified location.

*
The "South American Blush Spider (arachnius gluteus)" became "the Two-Striped Telamonia spider" (Telamonia dimidiata)."

*
The Los Angeles lawyer who had taken a flight from New York City that changed planes in Chicago became a Jacksonville lawyer who had flown from Indonesia, changing planes in Singapore.

*
The flight investigators were said to have discovered originated in South America now was said to have originated in India.

A year later, in October 2003, yet another version surfaced, one that again changed a few details here and there but for the most part left the previous text untouched:

*
This time the three women who had to be hospitalized were in South Wilkes-Barre.

*
The eatery named in the account changed to Hart's Family Resturant.

*
The spider remained unchanged though — he was once again described as "the Two-Striped Telamonia spider" (Telamonia dimidiata)."

*
The lawyer responsible for bringing the spiders into the country was now said to be from Scranton and to have taken a flight from Clarks Sumit, changing planes in Wilkes-Barre.

*
Investigators were said to have discovered the flight had originated in Binghampton, NY, yet the next line has "the Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of the toilets of all flights from India."

No one has been bitten by "blush spiders" lurking in airline toilet seats. Although some spiders prefer dark, cool places and can sometimes be found under (mostly outdoor) toilet seats — as evidenced by Slim Newton's 1972 song about the Australian Redback Spider, "The Redback on the Toilet Seat" — an airliner toilet would be quite an inhospitable abode for a spider due to the chemicals used in them. Of all the precautions you might want to take when travelling by air, checking under the toilet rim for spiders should be given a very low priority.

[jaguarr]

http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusi...etspiders.html

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/buttspdr.htm

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/b/bushspiders.htm

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mspidertoilet.html

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blspider-2002.htm

Learn to Google, Chicken Little.

jag

[oakzap425]

Why would I google email?

[jaguarr]

Originally Posted by oakzap425

Why would I google email?

Because the one you received is obviously suspicious and reads like a hoax to begin with, that's why.

jag

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Originally Posted by jaguarr

http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusi...etspiders.html

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/insects/buttspdr.htm

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/b/bushspiders.htm

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mspidertoilet.html

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/blspider-2002.htm

Learn to Google, Chicken Little.

jag

post of the month

[Truthteller]

LOL

Good job folks! I was going to say that my Urban Myth detector was tingling, but I see it has been thoroughly debunked.

[oakzap425]

...I hate and love you people all at the same time?

[Truthteller]

Thats right.

Such is the fate of us Hypesters.


Your avatar is humorous...

[oakzap425]

Isn't it awesome?


Now go watch Naruto... in Japanese with subtitles only, or I'll bust a Sharingan on your ass...

























J/k... *kissy face*

[Truthteller]

Yer all kissy 'n' licky tonight!

[Corinthian™]

Originally Posted by oakzap425

Isn't it awesome?


Now go watch Naruto... in Japanese with subtitles only, or I'll bust a Sharingan on your ass...

























J/k... *kissy face*

spread the elitism sista!

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Originally Posted by oakzap425

...I hate and love you people all at the same time?

No waaaaAAAAay!


That's why people like Ryoko and S.I.G. disappear...their "Hate" meter overtakes their "Love" meter.

Mine has been edging up toward "Hate", but I'm not dumb enough to predict a departure date.