WHats the best way to tell a nosy neigbour to mind their own business in a nice way?

[Deathlok2001]

There is this nosy neighbour. You talk to her once & she figures your her best friend. I realize she is a lonely old lady, never married, with few friends. But why does she keep dropping by my place unannounced? I am nice enough to chat with her when I see her, but this is crazy.

Any suggestions?

you see she just rang my doorbell, my patrio door was open, so was my front door but screen door was locked, but I did not answer the door.....
she went away after 2 rings...she is about 55-60 years old.....

[Iceman]

Just don't answer the door and pretend you never heard anything.

[Deathlok2001]

LOL.. I just might do that!

[Iceman]

It's probably something she'll be able to relate to and it's definitely easier than trying to come up with the right words.

[Deathlok2001]

hahaahhaha...... she was ringing my doorbell just a few min ago. I was up in 1 of my spare bedrooms, reading SHH threads! LOL.... I could hear her as my window was open.

[jaguarr]

Tell her you would appreciate it if she didn't come by unannounced as you are a very private person and do not like surprise company. If she keeps doing it, answer the door in one of your sexy little outfits you like to dress up in and put as much bass as you can into your voice when you greet her at the door, inviting her in for some tea. She'll probably leave you alone after that.

jag

[Deathlok2001]

Originally Posted by jaguarr

Tell her you would appreciate it if she didn't come by unannounced as you are a very private person and do not like surprise company. If she keeps doing it, answer the door in one of your sexy little outfits you like to dress up in and put as much bass as you can into your voice when you greet her at the door, inviting her in for some tea. She'll probably leave you alone after that.

jag

NO, she saw me in guy mode with nail polish & it di dnot faze her. Besides, she is a BIG gossip!

[Deathlok2001]

I dont want to be mean to her.

[Yurka]

tell her youre a sex offender but instead of targeting children you target old women

[jaguarr]

Originally Posted by Yurka

tell her youre a sex offender but instead of targeting children you target old women

This threat is only good if you are willing to follow through on it.

jag

[jaguarr]

Originally Posted by Deathlok2001

NO, she saw me in guy mode with nail polish & it di dnot faze her. Besides, she is a BIG gossip!

I still stand by the first part of my post, Nancy Boy.

jag

[Deathlok2001]

LOL

I usually say I am in the middle of something. She changes the subject & keeps talking. I just walk away, then she says, oh I will see you later! WTF??????

[Iceman]

Originally Posted by Yurka

tell her youre a sex offender but instead of targeting children you target old women

That could qualify as slightly mean?

[Yurka]

Originally Posted by Iceman/Psylocke

That could qualify as slightly mean?

Sometimes you have to be to these old folks so they understand

[Deathlok2001]

She came over 3 times on sunday & once on Monday! How can a person be that dense?????

[Silverstein]

The next time she rings, just be like "Hey" or whatever and have a small talk. But make sure you mention that you hate it when people come by unannounced. And then forget to give her your phone number. And simply move on. If she stops by to ask for your number, tell her you were just leaving.

If she keeps annoying you, get a huge ****ing water gun, piss in it and then shoot that ***** to hell!!! And if she comes back after that, light her on fire. If she comes back trying to sue you, get a big dog and have it chase her and bite a chunk out....if she comes back after that then call the cops, because you've got a stalker, my friend.

[Iceman]

Originally Posted by Yurka

Sometimes you have to be to these old folks so they understand

A headlock always helps with the process of understanding

[Deathlok2001]

In fact, a few years ago, she use to sell me avon ( I liked their nail polish & other stuff)

[Abaddon]

Just be honest and tell them. But in drag.

[Mr. Walters]

Originally Posted by Abaddon

Just be honest and tell them. But in drag.

I do that all the time.

At the apartments I live in we have a really twisted policy. If someone is making noise -any kind of noise- we are supposed to call the cops. Cops don't care about a loud stereo, so we're just supposed to call them and say there is a disturbance or something. Then when the cops come, the landlady says, "I can't have the cops showing up, you'll have to move out." Keep in mind this is the landlady's policy. She makes it so easy to get our fellow tenants kicked out. Basically, if I just plain didn't like someone I could have them removed. Kind of messed up isn't it?

[Zaed]

i say get an attack monkey. everytime she knocks on the door the monkey will run out and piss on her legs. that should keep her away.

or you could get some pepper spray. just wait in hiding until she comes to the door and just as she's about to knock spray her in the face. pretty effective if you ask me.

if she's really persistant you can use both. spray her while your attack monkey pees on her legs.

[Ronny Shade]

say "please mind your business and stop being nosy, kthanxbye"

[RogueLDN]

come on to her, that way she'll either get lost or get nekkid.

[Danalys]

well the only way i can think of right now which isn't particulary nice depending on the nosy person, is to get naked and write "some privacy would be nice." on yourself, but that could get you into trouble.

[Spider-Man Luvr28]

Problem solved.