It's the Pokemon thread

Not Jake · 10-11-2006, 03:05 AM

This thread is dedicated to all the Bug Catchers I've loved.

Welcome Pokemaniacs, to the single greatest thread of all goddamn time. This is a place for people who walk around in video game weeds for thirty goddamn minutes just to find a Pikachu amongst Caterpie. A place where people know how many steps a Super Repel will keep wild Pokemon away. A place where we all whine about how we wish Magmar's evolution wouldn't suck so much gay ass. A place to wax poetic about Wobuffet, to make tampon jokes about Chimecho, to know the pain of finding Feebas, and to share suicide attempt stories after being in a cave for 5 minutes DAMN YOU ZUBATS. Here, my little master trainers, we will discuss with vigor which Eeveelution is the best, and perhaps post essays about how much we hate whichever Pokemon pokerubs us the pokewrong pokeway.

Also, you can't see it in this pic, but Snorlax is getting reamed by Mew. Snorlax usually doesn't play catcher, but when Mew eyes your fat ass you best RESPEKT.

Not Jake · 10-11-2006, 04:15 AM

As a Pokemon trainer, I have decided to abandon my bipolar mother to go play with animals, 90% of which classifiable under R for Retahhhded. Last night I fed all of mom's medicine to a Rattata and watched it slowly die in the grass behind my house. Without her medicine, she'll let me wander around the country by myself, age 11. B*tch shoulda let me go three years ago. Hope she can get her prescription refilled before she starts cutting herself. Later, mom!

I walk into Professor Oak's lab to get my Bulbasaur (I love Bulbasaur!!!) but no one is there and it appears all three pokeballs that I saw on the table yesterday are gone. I spot a pokeball on the floor behind a bookshelf though, and pick it up. It's Geodude. KILL ME NOW GOD.

I wander over to Professor Oak's desk, intending to send my regards to him in a manner described by the ancient ones as smashing his goddamn computer , when something catches my eye. He's still logged in, and a folder titled WORK STUFF is opened. It's filled with 5 gigs of Hitmonlee-on-Hitmonchan pornography and a file entitled NOT MY DIARY.

It's his diary.

Oak's Diary: entry 27

Dear Diary,

Today I flew to Cinnabar Island. I think my Level 2 Pidgey is noticing my recent weight gain, as it crashed and died when it hit the water 10 feet off the shore of Pallet Town. I waded back to shore and got a Farfetch'd that I traded some young girl an Abra for. I wanted to name it Jeremy but it's already got some dumb name. I don't get girls.

The Farfetch'd flew me to Cinnabar, with minor back problems as a result. The nurse asked why it had stick-shaped welts on the back of its head. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT IT FELL DOWN THE STAIRS.

Talked to Blaine. I really like his moustache. It's so well-shaped. I wish I could grow facial hair like Blaine. I told him his Rapidash was a fine beast and he smiled at me. I felt funny inside when he did it, it was like his smile was made of sunrays and that they were shining inside my tummy. Looking forward to seeing him on our hiking trip next week, away from the wives! Note to self: buy new, smaller tent.

xoxoxoxo
-Oak

I don't know why he signs x's and o's to himself.

Not Jake · 10-11-2006, 04:25 AM

Did you know that if you take out the P and C and scramble the remaining letters around, Pikachu is nothing but a yellow electric haiku?

Some Pokemon rule
But some are poorly crafted;
Looking at you, Jynx

Not Jake · 10-11-2006, 04:39 AM

Seriously though guys, what's the deal with Pokemon who get both Rock/Ground typed. Water AND Grass are quadruple effective? Probably the worst typing of a Pokemon ever. Seriously, if Pokemon were real, and I was offered an ultimatum between taking a Geodude and cutting off my own dick, bye bye dick.

I'd be the proud owner of Inchy, the severed penis pokemon.

Inchy used Harden!

But it failed!

Darren Daring · 10-11-2006, 09:20 AM

Didja hear about the new pokemon game where you play... as the pokemon?
Who are the Ad Wizards who came up with this one?

hippie_hunter · 10-11-2006, 09:47 AM

This thread is scaring me

Darren Daring · 10-11-2006, 11:06 AM

And what's the deal with Nidoking? I mean, Poison, Ground, make up your mind already!

SuperFerret · 10-11-2006, 11:08 AM

Koffing will always have a special place in my heart.

Kipobe · 10-11-2006, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darren Daring

Who are the Ad Wizards who came up with this one?

I made a thread entitled this, and I just came accross it today. Ew.

XwolverineX · 10-11-2006, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hippie_hunter

This thread is scaring me

Wtf happened to caps locks? Failure.

Darren Daring · 10-11-2006, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kipobe

I made a thread entitled this, and I just came accross it today. Ew.

That was partly the inspiration for my statement. That and that one SNL sketch.

Kipobe · 10-11-2006, 11:29 AM

Oh yeah, I was trying to remember the origin. Haha, Seinfeld.

Darren Daring · 10-11-2006, 11:30 AM

he's funny

Kipobe · 10-11-2006, 11:32 AM

Yeah, I can even bypass his Jewish roots. Stupid Jews.
Although, he does sound like he has a perma-cold.

Go Pokemon!!!!!

Darren Daring · 10-11-2006, 11:35 AM

I always took Squirtle. Because my nemesis wouldn't have Charizard at the end, and I'd still be able to do the quadruple damage on his Gyrados with my elctric pokemon.

chosen1 · 10-11-2006, 11:38 AM

Man i was the pokemon master when the blue and red games came out on gameboy.

I saw the show recently and I was like WTF?

New pokemon???

Snorlax
Cyther

Have evolved forms??

Does anyone know if these evolved forms are legitament now they were rumors back when I was king.

Charazard - Charcolt
Blastoise - Rainer

TKing · 10-11-2006, 11:42 AM

I thought Pokeman fans were a dying breed.

Darren Daring · 10-11-2006, 11:44 AM

I think you should go away when grown ups are talking.

Lackey · 10-11-2006, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TKing

I thought Pokeman fans were a dying breed.

The only dying breed is Ekans...now there's a worthless pokemon if I ever saw one. I wish I could feed pokemon to other pokemon.

Kipobe · 10-11-2006, 01:53 PM

I know nothing of pokemon. Nothing. Shame.

Lackey · 10-11-2006, 01:58 PM

Is it just me or does anyone else think a Kabutops looks remarkably similar to a Space Pirate from Metroid? You think that was done on purpose?

Brainiac 8 · 10-11-2006, 02:44 PM

I think they should make a Sphinctersaur pokemon.

It's attacks could be the:

Double Cheek Slap Attack
Fuzzy Wind Attack
Flung Poo Attack

The possibilities would be endless.

Not Jake · 10-11-2006, 03:42 PM

Yeah, it might even get a funny attack some day

Not Jake · 10-11-2006, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chosen1

Man i was the pokemon master when the blue and red games came out on gameboy.

I saw the show recently and I was like WTF?

New pokemon???

Snorlax
Cyther

Have evolved forms??

Does anyone know if these evolved forms are legitament now they were rumors back when I was king.

Charazard - Charcolt
Blastoise - Rainer

Yes. Snorlax evolves into Slobore, Cyther into Cyclor, Charazard into Charbolt, a fire/electric dragon, and Blastoise's evolved name isn't anything stupid like Rainer, it's Wetturtle.

Not Jake · 10-11-2006, 03:49 PM

A sonnet, by Pikachu

Pika pika
Pikachu
Pikachu chu chu
Pika pik pik
Chu chu pika
Pika pika pikachu
Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Truly one of the master songwriters of our time

I hear Paul Simon wrote a duet for himself and Pikachu

Let's hope it's as good as his Hitmonchan ballad, what was that called again?...

10-11-2006, 03:05 AM	#1
Not Jake Banned User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Hippo Island, South Pacific Posts: 8,387	It's the Pokemon thread This thread is dedicated to all the Bug Catchers I've loved. Welcome Pokemaniacs, to the single greatest thread of all goddamn time. This is a place for people who walk around in video game weeds for thirty goddamn minutes just to find a Pikachu amongst Caterpie. A place where people know how many steps a Super Repel will keep wild Pokemon away. A place where we all whine about how we wish Magmar's evolution wouldn't suck so much gay ass. A place to wax poetic about Wobuffet, to make tampon jokes about Chimecho, to know the pain of finding Feebas, and to share suicide attempt stories after being in a cave for 5 minutes DAMN YOU ZUBATS. Here, my little master trainers, we will discuss with vigor which Eeveelution is the best, and perhaps post essays about how much we hate whichever Pokemon pokerubs us the pokewrong pokeway. Also, you can't see it in this pic, but Snorlax is getting reamed by Mew. Snorlax usually doesn't play catcher, but when Mew eyes your fat ass you best RESPEKT.

10-11-2006, 04:15 AM	#2
Not Jake Banned User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Hippo Island, South Pacific Posts: 8,387	Re: It's the Pokemon thread As a Pokemon trainer, I have decided to abandon my bipolar mother to go play with animals, 90% of which classifiable under R for Retahhhded. Last night I fed all of mom's medicine to a Rattata and watched it slowly die in the grass behind my house. Without her medicine, she'll let me wander around the country by myself, age 11. Btch shoulda let me go three years ago. Hope she can get her prescription refilled before she starts cutting herself. Later, mom! I walk into Professor Oak's lab to get my Bulbasaur (I love Bulbasaur!!!) but no one is there and it appears all three pokeballs that I saw on the table yesterday are gone. I spot a pokeball on the floor behind a bookshelf though, and pick it up. It's Geodude. KILL ME NOW GOD. I wander over to Professor Oak's desk, intending to send my regards to him in a manner described by the ancient ones as smashing his goddamn computer* , when something catches my eye. He's still logged in, and a folder titled WORK STUFF is opened. It's filled with 5 gigs of Hitmonlee-on-Hitmonchan pornography and a file entitled NOT MY DIARY. It's his diary. Oak's Diary: entry 27 Dear Diary, Today I flew to Cinnabar Island. I think my Level 2 Pidgey is noticing my recent weight gain, as it crashed and died when it hit the water 10 feet off the shore of Pallet Town. I waded back to shore and got a Farfetch'd that I traded some young girl an Abra for. I wanted to name it Jeremy but it's already got some dumb name. I don't get girls. The Farfetch'd flew me to Cinnabar, with minor back problems as a result. The nurse asked why it had stick-shaped welts on the back of its head. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT IT FELL DOWN THE STAIRS. Talked to Blaine. I really like his moustache. It's so well-shaped. I wish I could grow facial hair like Blaine. I told him his Rapidash was a fine beast and he smiled at me. I felt funny inside when he did it, it was like his smile was made of sunrays and that they were shining inside my tummy. Looking forward to seeing him on our hiking trip next week, away from the wives! Note to self: buy new, smaller tent. xoxoxoxo -Oak I don't know why he signs x's and o's to himself.

10-11-2006, 04:25 AM	#3
Not Jake Banned User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Hippo Island, South Pacific Posts: 8,387	Re: It's the Pokemon thread Did you know that if you take out the P and C and scramble the remaining letters around, Pikachu is nothing but a yellow electric haiku? Some Pokemon rule But some are poorly crafted; Looking at you, Jynx

10-11-2006, 04:39 AM	#4
Not Jake Banned User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Hippo Island, South Pacific Posts: 8,387	Re: It's the Pokemon thread Seriously though guys, what's the deal with Pokemon who get both Rock/Ground typed. Water AND Grass are quadruple effective? Probably the worst typing of a Pokemon ever. Seriously, if Pokemon were real, and I was offered an ultimatum between taking a Geodude and cutting off my own dick, bye bye dick. I'd be the proud owner of Inchy, the severed penis pokemon. Inchy used Harden! But it failed!

10-11-2006, 09:20 AM	#5
Darren Daring Banned User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Creole Jew Country Posts: 7,992	Re: It's the Pokemon thread Didja hear about the new pokemon game where you play... as the pokemon? Who are the Ad Wizards who came up with this one?

10-11-2006, 09:47 AM	#6
hippie_hunter The King is Back! SHH! Global Moderator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Titanium Groceries Posts: 49,840	Re: It's the Pokemon thread This thread is scaring me __________________ Titanium Groceries!!!

10-11-2006, 11:06 AM	#7
Darren Daring Banned User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Creole Jew Country Posts: 7,992	Re: It's the Pokemon thread And what's the deal with Nidoking? I mean, Poison, Ground, make up your mind already!

10-11-2006, 11:08 AM	#8
SuperFerret Side-Kick Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: SuperFerret's Shoebox of Solitude Posts: 32,537	Re: It's the Pokemon thread Koffing will always have a special place in my heart. __________________ Faster than a speeding hamster. -----More powerful than a box of tissues. ----------Able to leap off of tall buildings and hit the ground.

10-11-2006, 11:29 AM	#12
Kipobe Side-Kick Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Park Place Posts: 1,286	Re: It's the Pokemon thread Oh yeah, I was trying to remember the origin. Haha, Seinfeld. __________________ *Kipobe?*

10-11-2006, 11:30 AM	#13
Darren Daring Banned User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Creole Jew Country Posts: 7,992	Re: It's the Pokemon thread he's funny

10-11-2006, 11:32 AM	#14
Kipobe Side-Kick Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Park Place Posts: 1,286	Re: It's the Pokemon thread Yeah, I can even bypass his Jewish roots. Stupid Jews. Although, he does sound like he has a perma-cold. Go Pokemon!!!!! __________________ *Kipobe?*

10-11-2006, 11:35 AM	#15
Darren Daring Banned User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Creole Jew Country Posts: 7,992	Re: It's the Pokemon thread I always took Squirtle. Because my nemesis wouldn't have Charizard at the end, and I'd still be able to do the quadruple damage on his Gyrados with my elctric pokemon.

10-11-2006, 11:38 AM	#16
chosen1 Banned User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 2,091	Re: It's the Pokemon thread Man i was the pokemon master when the blue and red games came out on gameboy. I saw the show recently and I was like WTF? New pokemon??? Snorlax Cyther Have evolved forms?? Does anyone know if these evolved forms are legitament now they were rumors back when I was king. Charazard - Charcolt Blastoise - Rainer

10-11-2006, 11:42 AM	#17
TKing Side-Kick Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: England Posts: 6,865	Re: It's the Pokemon thread I thought Pokeman fans were a dying breed.

10-11-2006, 11:44 AM	#18
Darren Daring Banned User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Creole Jew Country Posts: 7,992	Re: It's the Pokemon thread I think you should go away when grown ups are talking.

10-11-2006, 01:53 PM	#20
Kipobe Side-Kick Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Park Place Posts: 1,286	Re: It's the Pokemon thread I know nothing of pokemon. Nothing. Shame. __________________ *Kipobe?*

10-11-2006, 01:58 PM	#21
Lackey Me Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 26,947	Re: It's the Pokemon thread Is it just me or does anyone else think a Kabutops looks remarkably similar to a Space Pirate from Metroid? You think that was done on purpose?

10-11-2006, 02:44 PM	#22
Brainiac 8 Clark Smash! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Hurricane country AKA Florida Posts: 15,717	Re: It's the Pokemon thread I think they should make a Sphinctersaur pokemon. It's attacks could be the: Double Cheek Slap Attack Fuzzy Wind Attack Flung Poo Attack The possibilities would be endless. __________________ "You won't find the answers by looking at the stars. It's a journey you'll have to take by looking inside yourself. You must write your own destiny, Kal-El." - Virgil Swann Smallville \S/

10-11-2006, 03:42 PM	#23
Not Jake Banned User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Hippo Island, South Pacific Posts: 8,387	Re: It's the Pokemon thread Yeah, it might even get a funny attack some day

10-11-2006, 03:49 PM	#25
Not Jake Banned User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Hippo Island, South Pacific Posts: 8,387	Re: It's the Pokemon thread A sonnet, by Pikachu Pika pika Pikachu Pikachu chu chu Pika pik pik Chu chu pika Pika pika pikachu Chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Truly one of the master songwriters of our time I hear Paul Simon wrote a duet for himself and Pikachu Let's hope it's as good as his Hitmonchan ballad, what was that called again?...

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