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View Poll Results: What do YOU want next on the big screen for Superman?
Superman: Man Of Steel (i.e the sequel to SR) 66 32.35%
A Justice League Movie with Superman in it 6 2.94%
A Superman re-boot/re-start with new cast/crew, etc. 64 31.37%
Both MOS AND a JL movie. 24 11.76%
Both a re-boot/re-start and a JL movie. 34 16.67%
Non of the above. Something else. 10 4.90%
Voters: 204. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 09-06-2006, 02:17 PM   #1
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Default Superman Reboot Writers Workshop

Just a place for anyone who likes to test their creative writing out. I spent a couple hours writing a bit of a treatment for an SR sequel script going with what the majority of us want the second film to be called "Superman: The Man of Steel" Of course the title for me works on a couple levels, I'll put it out there... Metallo is being introduced in my script so the "Steel" part of the title is of another meaning as well.

Anyways it gave me an idea... For those of us who want to write a bit, we can get help from other members to improve. If you are writing something and have a writer's block, post it here and maybe together we can fix it. If we share enough ideas we could create a great fan script and imo it would probably be better (at least in concept) than what Singer's own writers would come up with


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Old 09-06-2006, 02:20 PM   #2
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

This is the beginning of my script (not written in proper format... rough yes.. very)

------------

Superman: Man of Steel (This title having a double meaning…)

During the opening credits we see a metallic object break open from an almost box shaped shell of metal. Lights on it begin to blink. It is of a design that is so enigmatic that one could interpret it as being many things such as a satellite or spaceship. Of course it is more than that.

End of opening credits, a black screen that soon comes into focus revealing the image of a floating Superman in space.

With his super hearing we hear the sound of a child laughing and Superman smiles, then we see just how far his vision can reach as his eyes quickly zoom in from just above the earths atmosphere. Quickly we see everything he looks THROUGH all the while the camera is continuing a zooming effect. He sees through an airplane flying by, through buildings, and through a train passing by and the zooming speed increases more then suddenly stops as we see “the kid” Jason throwing a baseball and Richard catching it.

*Richard acts like his hand is hurt
Richard: Ouch! I think broke my hand with that throw, come over and take a look at it.

*Runs towards Richard
Jason: I’m sorry Dad

Richard: Help me take my glove off
*Jason starts pulling it off his hand. As he pulls it off Richard starts to laugh and puts his other arm around Jason to tickle him.

Richard: (laughing hysterically) Ok you didn’t break my hand but soon you’ll be throwing a baseball harder than me… almost as hard as your mother.

Jason: Mom can throw a baseball harder than you?

Richard: Well I don’t know about a baseball but if you get her mad just enough she can throw an object harder than Superman.

*Both start laughing.

Camera then cuts to a close-up of Superman smiling. Suddenly a flash of a metallic object is seen, the camera is so close you can’t make out the shape. All you can make out by looking at it is a symbol that looks almost like the number 8. A bunch of fast cut sequences take place. Lois comes running outside of the house to Richard and Jason. A close up of Superman’s eyes reveal a look of concern and terror that something is happening. Then finally a last close up showing Richard stepping in front of Lois and Jason with his arms out as if something is going to hit him is shown. Everything slows down and the only thing you can hear is Lois

Lois: Help us Superman!

SCENE 1

Quick cut to a dark room and an empty bed with the silhouette left on the covers from someone sleeping there. The camera pans up revealing Clark floating in the air shaking his head breathing hard. He then hits his head on the ceiling hard enough to leave an imprint and opens his eyes quickly then drops to the floor. Focus on the bed, then the focus changes as he quickly gets up from the ground and sits on the side of the bed.

Clark: That seemed so real…

His super hearing reveals a voice.

Unknown voice: That was not a dream you were experiencing Kal-el. That was a warning.

With a face of determination and almost on the edge of anger.

Clark: WHO ARE YOU? HOW… WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!

Unknown voice: When the time is right all will be revealed to you the… last son of Krypton. Of course by then it may be too late.

Clark covers his face with his hands and falls flat on his back on the bed.

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Old 09-06-2006, 03:58 PM   #3
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

Not bad.

I think the film should start with a small action sequence to get the film going, like an earthquake or a super-villain attacking Metropolis.

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Old 09-06-2006, 04:26 PM   #4
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN. (Tentative Title)

Fade in. We see a red curtain draped over the entire screen. Slowly as it opens we zoom through the screen behind it as a superman comic book comes into focus. A child opens the comic book and begins to narrate the panels as each one is displayed on screen. They recount the origin of Superman.

The Last panel shows superman standing in his heroic pose as the comic slowly fades away and a statue of the heroic superman pose is revealed.

----

that's what I've got so far. It'll open prettymuch like that so it's not quite a restart but it's still tells the origin, and it'll homage stm's director's cut opening which I always thought every comicbook movie should do.

Making the man of steel refer to Metallo and superman is Brilliant. Why didn't I think of that... Maybe I did once, but I don't remember. Anyway that's a great idea. Where things get too lifetime family movie for me is Jason and Richard playing catch and tickling. I'm getting images of an older jason being tickled. How old is he there? we'll figure something out with Jason.

Well I'm loving the metalo flashes. That gives me an idea for him. Maybe he could be an ancient kryptonian space probe that was sent to earth to gather information but it's discoverd by luthor or something and given a human brain and stuff... that'd be cool. And it haunts Superman... It sends him to hell (phantom zone), where he's powerless and must struggle to survive.

And he'll meet peter o'toole there. No just kidding, it won't be that lame supergirl phantom zone. This'll be true hell. ... oh I forgot the clark on smallville's trapped in the phantomzone. Well no problem, I'll figure it out. Maybe Jason could help free his father somehow.

hmm... yes, Jason using a special kryptonian space suit travels into the phantom zone through a portal in the fortress to find his father and retrieve him. That might work...

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Old 09-06-2006, 04:51 PM   #5
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

That was kind of the point though. To make people think it's a warm scene starting the movie off when it's actually a sequence that sets up a warning disguised as a dream sequence. So the beginning of the movie sets up a mysterious danger that Clark must discover the root of before the ones he loves (Lois and his son) are killed.

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Old 09-06-2006, 04:53 PM   #6
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

[quote=Wesyeed]

Making the man of steel refer to Metallo and superman is Brilliant.quote]

Thanks

Btw Jason is to be only a couple years older. I'm not planting seeds of him taking over Superman's job in the future

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Old 09-06-2006, 05:22 PM   #7
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

The only real moment of "lifetime" type entertainment in my script is necessary because I want to setup early on in the movie that they are a close family unit AS THREE. Since the opening had Clark late at night in bed, I thought the next scene could have an alarm clock (making you think it's Clark) going off. It sets up the family unit of Lois, Richard, and Jason.
Sorry is the writing is sappy but I wouldn't mind something like this JUST at the beginning of the film so you care a bit more for the characters.

---
A close up of an alarm clock set to 7:00 am with the alarm going off is shown. We see a door being opened and it’s Richard all dressed and ready for work.

Richard: See, this is why we take separate cars to work. LOIS! Time to get up!

*Richard turns off the alarm and smiles, gently beginning to rub Lois’ right shoulder.

Richard: Come on… There are people to investigate, stories to tell, maybe another Pulitzer is out there. Stories don’t make themselves ya know.

Lois: You are reminding me of Perry.

Richard: Would Perry do this?

*Jumps on bed and starts to kiss Lois on the neck.

Lois: (laughing) GOD, I hope not…
*Both laughing, and Jason runs in.

Lois: Hey you remember what we said about knocking before entering a door right?

Jason: Oh yeah, I forgot.

*Runs back to close door, then knocks and asks

Jason: Can I come in please?

Richard: Well… Since you already did, I guess so.

Jason: I set the table for breakfast!

Lois: Thank you, we’ll be right down.

*All of them eating breakfast together at a little table near kitchen.

Richard: Mmmm… Whole grain.

Lois: RICHARD…

Richard: What? I’m not complaining.
*Richard leans over and whispers to Jason

Richard: If you are good at school, when I pick you up this afternoon we’ll stop off for some burgers and fries. A little break from Mom’s cooking won’t hurt anything.

Lois: RICHARD! You better not.

Jason: I think you’re in trouble.

Richard: No, WE’RE in trouble.

Jason: Dad you’re on your own.

*All of them laugh

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Old 09-06-2006, 05:30 PM   #8
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

Ah why not.. Here are the next couple of scenes I wrote following the ones I just posted.

--SCENE 3
Lois is pouring a cup of coffee and Perry walks up to her with a folder.

Perry: Glad you could make it this morning. At least you showed up today. Here!

Lois: What’s this?

Perry: An extra assignment. It seems Clark has the sniffles today.

*Cut to Clark in Smallville staring at the sky outside of the barn.

Martha: What are you looking for?

Clark: I don’t know. I just… I wish I could protect everyone all of the time.

Martha: Something is on your mind. What is it?

Clark: Mom I love you, I’m not sure if I want to go into detail about this.

Martha: The only other time you didn’t tell me what was on your mind, is when you left earth in search of life on Krypton. Don’t tell me you want me to wait another 5 years to find out what’s wrong.

Clark: It’s just, I don’t even know what’s happening… I… I heard a voice last night.

Martha: You always hear voices Clark. You wouldn’t know who to save if you didn’t.

Clark: No… Not that kind of voice, it was something entirely different. He knew my Kryptonian name Kal-el. He even called me the last son of Krypton and… I have no idea who or what he is.

Martha: What all did he say?

Clark: He just told me there would be danger and by the time I knew where it was coming from… It would be too late.

SCENE 4

That object from the beginning of the movie is headed quickly towards an island. We see Lex building a fire and cooking fish while Kitty sits there filing her nails.

Kitty: What’s for dinner today Lex?

Lex: I’m having what I have everyday that we’ve been on this God forsaken island. I don’t know what you are having.

Kitty: Oh come on, what did I ever do to you.

Lex: Nothing much. A few rare Kryptonian crystals that had limitless power are gone because of you.

*Kitty gets up and walks over to Lex. She kisses him.

Lex: Alright, I suppose you are the ONLY girl in town.

Kitty: HEY!

Lex: What’s that?!

Kitty: What?

*Pushes Kitty out of the way and points
Lex: That object hurdling from space that you’d have to be blind to miss.

Kitty: Oh. I don’t know.

Lex: Of course not… What the?! It’s coming at me!

*Lex begins to run and trips over himself. Just as the object is about to hit him it stops. The light turns off. It then falls next to him and he picks it up.

Kitty: What is it?

*Lex touches the symbol, and the object splits open. He closes his eyes.

Lex: I don’t know but it’s like it’s asking me what I need... (screams) I just need to get off of this insignificant island!

*Lex kicks the sand--The helicopter behind them begins to start up…

Lex: Somehow I don’t think I need those crystals anymore.

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Old 09-06-2006, 06:17 PM   #9
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

The next scene has Superman go to the FOS. The idea I had was that sense Brando is dead and can't do new dialogue... We could have some of the crystals act as actions alone activated by Jor-el without speech to set them up, putting Superman right in the moment of a recorded counsel meeting when Jor-el was younger... Thus showing the society of Krypton and a younger Jor-el that won't tread on the already established matured Jor-el played by that of Brando. Enough years in age are seperated that another actor could play him without it being a problem.
--
SCENE 5
Superman flies into the fortress of solitude. He then speaks to the console that’s full of the crystals.
Superman: I need to know of any person or persons who could possibly survive the destruction of Krypton.
Jor-el: You are the last survivor of Krypton.
Superman: Same old answer I see. Nothing survived from an entire civilization? I MUST KNOW where this voice came from father. Lives could be at stake, maybe even my own!
*A crystal begins to glow a bright yellow color. Superman then touches it putting his mind right in a saved memory from the unveiling of a new technology on Krypton. We see a young scientist who is Jor-el as he speaks to a counsel made up of mostly older Kryptonians.
Counsel member 1: Record this proceeding… You have something to tell us Jor-el?
*The counsel members all turn towards Jor-el
Jor-el: This is what I’ve been working on since you granted me permission counsel.
Counsel member 1: Proceed…
Jor-el: Every year we’ve spent more time and research to know why Krypton is becoming well… Unstable. I have the answer. I also have the solution.
Counsel member 1: Then it is ready?
Jor-el: Yes. It is ready. I need only your permission to implement it.
Counsel member 2: I’m sorry but are we to blindly trust Jor-el with the life of this entire planet? He should not be the only one privileged to the knowledge of this new technology. Another man must work on this project a long side Jor-el.

Counsel member 3: A wise decision I believe.
Counsel member 1: As lead of this counsel I agree, furthermore since you are so concerned (looking at counsel member 2) you will be the recipient of this knowledge… Jor-el shall begin teaching you at once. This meeting of the counsel is complete
*Jor-el touches the symbol on the device that looks like an 8 and it opens.
Jor-el: I am forced to entrust this knowledge with you, with that being the case…Let us begin your teaching then.
*Superman takes his hand off the crystal and it turns off. Everything around him that seemed so real fades and we see just what’s in the fortress of solitude. He stares for a moment
Superman: Just what did Jor-el create?

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Old 09-06-2006, 06:27 PM   #10
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

SCENE 6

*Back to the Daily Planet

Perry: Lois did you start working on that assignment I gave you?

Lois: Chief I’ve got better things to do than Clark’s work.

Perry: Excuse me but…

Clark: Chief! I’m feeling better

Perry: Glad you showed. I got an assignment here I thought only you could handle. Here…
*Hands him the assignment from Lois’ desk

Clark: So Lois… What are you working on?

Lois: Not a shared byline
Clark: I see…
*Lois feels bad for being snappy
Lois: I’m working on what happened to Lex. He’s back to front-page news again.

Clark: Got anything so far?

Lois: Oh I’m following leads, have my exclusive sources and…

Clark: Oh so, nothing right now.

Lois: Pretty much.

Clark: Well I guess I’ll get to work on my assignment then. Talk to you later Lois, maybe at lunch time we could…

*Lois is on phone talking to some detective about Lex missing. The folder he opens reads “Interview head of S.T.A.R. labs on possible new discovery.”

Clark: Hmmm…

Perry: CLARK

*Clark jumps
Clark: Yes Mr. White uh Sir… Perry…

Perry: You are taking Olsen with you in case we need pictures. Not that he ever takes a good one anyways.

*Jimmy was getting his camera ready for the assignment and overheard Perry.

Jimmy: I don’t take good pictures? I could take a good one. It would be for an article entitled “Daily Planet’s Own Perry White Retirement Ceremony”

Perry: Olsen!

Jimmy: Man he hears good for an old guy.

Clark: We better go.

SCENE 7

Clark and Jimmy enter a building that reads “STAR LABS” and are stopped by a security guard.

Security guard: Why do you think you can just walk right into a secured building? Unless you are Superman I’d advise you turn around and leave.

Clark: Uhh.. You see…We were invited by Professor Hamilton so…

Jimmy: Look if you want to keep your job, you better let us in. I can be tough when I have too. Don’t let the bowtie fool you, that’s just a cover.

*Security guard adjusts his earpiece and Clark listens in with his hearing. “Let them in, they are from the Daily Planet.”

Security guard: Enter at once.

*Jimmy whispers to Clark

Jimmy: Sometimes you just gotta push your way through…

Clark: Good work Jimmy
*Turns his head and smiles

They enter a large room with all sorts of interesting looking inventions

Professor Hamilton: I have found something that could be alien in its origin. Some sort of metal or a similar composition to that of steel. Only one difference.

Clark: What makes it seem alien.

Professor: Watch

*He takes another piece of metal, this one however is from earth.

Professor: Now as I hold it, not only does it bind with our own metal and become flexible…It also appears to become much stronger.

Clark: How strong?

Professor: You know how Superman is invulnerable to just about anything?

Clark: So I’ve heard.

Professor: This metal seems to have the same advantages. Watch what happens when we apply a laser to it.

Jimmy: Nothing is happening.

Professor: Precisely. The temperature remains the same, and the metal suffers no damage.
Professor: I’d like for you to find Superman for me as I hear the Daily Planet is almost exclusive in interviews with him.

*Jimmy starts snapping pictures

Clark: Maybe this isn’t such a good idea to report this story to the public until Superman has a chance to look into it.

Jimmy: Good luck telling that to the chief. (takes a couple more pictures)
*They leave the room and Clark uses his x-ray vision to destroy the film.

*Back at the Daily Planet

Perry: So let me get a look at this new discovery.

Jimmy: Sorry but something happened to the film and it won’t develop properly.

Perry: That’s just great.

*Jimmy quietly talks to himself.

Jimmy: Maybe if he paid me enough so I could go digital, we’d have some pictures.

Perry: What all did you find out?

Clark: Uhh well.. I’m collecting my notes. Actually Superman is going to find out more soon and I’ll interview him about it.

Perry: Alright, well find out quickly. No story and no pictures... I need something.

Clark: I’m on it.

Lois: On what Clark?

Clark: My story.

Lois: So what are we working on?

Clark: We?

Lois: I figured since my story on Lex isn’t going anywhere maybe we could work on your assignment together.

Clark: We did say no shared bylines right?

*talking to herself
Lois: Look who grew a spine…

*As Clark is walking away she waves him to come back over. He waves back, and knocks some papers out of a delivery guy walking by.

Lois: So how about that lunch tomorrow then?

Clark: Really? You want to go with me?

Lois: Yeah… We should catch up.

SCENE 8

*Lex getting in helicopter while Kitty is running to catch up

Lex: I could drop you right now… like you dropped those crystals.

Kitty: You wouldn’t leave me here, there is a part of you that wants me around.

Lex: Yeah the part that likes to suffer. GET IN… NOW

*Flying the helicopter

Kitty: Where are we going?

Lex: It’s time I get out of seclusion. If I want to be the most successful criminal of all time and I want to get rid of Superman once and for all… There is only one place I can turn too that will allow me to carry out my fiendish plans while still doing so legally.

Kitty: Where is that?

Lex: Politics… Kitty. Politics.

Kitty: You want to be a senator or something?

Lex: No Kitty. I want to be President.

Kitty: How?

Lex: By using Superman of course.

Kitty: I don’t think he will want to help you.

Lex: His newly found bad image alone will help me. That’s all I need.

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Old 09-06-2006, 06:46 PM   #11
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

Scene 9

Superman is at STAR Labs with Prof Hamilton.

Superman: I don’t think it came from Krypton. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to be in such close contact with it.

Professor: Where do you think it came from then?

Superman: I don’t know but if Krypton had anything to do with it, I can find out. Would you trust me to borrow this for a while?

Professor: Sure, it’s a puzzle to me. If you can find any answers be my guest.

Superman: Thanks.

*Returns to the fortress of solitude.

Superman: I need to know if this is of Kryptonian origin.

*A crystal lights up again. We are back to the Kryptonian counsel with a young Jor-el.

Jor-el: It is my unfortunate news to tell you I’ve discovered a traitor amongst us. The same man I trusted countless information with is the same one who plots to use it against us. Counsel member ZOD has been plotting to take over Krypton for a while. I learned of this when discovering a hidden program on our new fail safe device. A program called BRAINIAC. A program that ZOD created!

Counsel member 1: Bring him to us.

*Guards drag ZOD in the room.

Zod: You think you are so smart Jor-el.

*Breaks free of guards and punches at Jor-el. Jor-el fights back and takes him to the ground.

Counsel: CEASE HIM AT ONCE

Counsel member 1: To the PHANTOM ZONE he must go and we must destroy this invention at once. Jor-el we leave this task to you.

ZOD: This is not the end, only the beginning Jor-el. Someday everyone you love will be destroyed by me.

Jor-el: Initialize the sequence for the PHANTOM ZONE.
*ZOD vanishes in a blur. Jor-el takes the device and encases it in a metal with some kind of tool.

Counsel: What of this device?

Jor-el: It’s been disabled, I've created a metal that hopefully is as indestructible as the device itself, to ensure no one can ever use it again... There is no way to simply destroy it. Its main purpose was to protect Krypton and it was designed so destruction of it would be impossible. But this program BRAINIAC started reprogramming itself. I’ve turned off its power source, I couldn’t take a chance of leaving a trace of its existence behind. It is now buried in the crust of Krypton. It will be better to start on a new device as I’m not sure what all was encoded into BRAINIAC. One thing is for sure.

Counsel member 1: And what is that?

Jor-el: If the new device doesn’t work, BRAINIAC might be the only thing that survives Krypton’s destruction.

*Superman takes his hand off

Superman: The destruction of Krypton freed the device. This program BRAINIAC. THE METAL!

*Back at STAR LABS

Superman: Is there anymore of this metal.

Professor: It’s been kind of scattered around parts of the Pacific Ocean. Why?

Superman: There could be more than just metal that we are looking for.

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Old 09-06-2006, 06:56 PM   #12
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

MAN OF STEEL (Tentative Title)

EXT. METROPOLIS PARK - SUNSET

The golden sky stretches across the horizon, giving the bustling city its last moments of sunlight. All activity has temporarily slowed. Cars aren't as abundant and the music of the urban area has toned down.

Several seniors, men and women, are gathered in one corner of the park. Some play chess while others talk about their youthful years. Smiles are apparant everywhere.

Children playfully run around the jungle gym, enjoying such pleasures as the monkey bars and swingsets. Parents watch their childs, occasionally looking up from their TIME magazine.

EXT. CLOUDS

The fluffy abundant clouds part in the skies, torn through by a soaring blue streak.

EXT. METROPOLIS PARK - CONTINUOUS

The mysterious streak alerts the citizens, turning their attention to the skies. All activity stops.

CHILD
(Under his breath)
It's him...

EXT. CLOUDS - MOMENTS LATER

In an instant, the streak is gone, moving towards the heart of the great city. The streak is revealed to be:

Superman, Metropolis' very own Man of Steel...The Last Son of Krypton.

----------
That was just a little something.

My sequel would have Lex Luthor, CEO of LexCorp (formerly Vanderworth Enterprises), begin to fund Project Cadmus. Metallo is created to obtain a sample of Superman's blood (revealed to be used to create a clone of Superman to replace the original).

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Old 09-06-2006, 10:09 PM   #13
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

I like your idea using Metallo, very cool.

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Old 09-06-2006, 11:00 PM   #14
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

Always nice to hear your ideas appreciated.

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Old 09-07-2006, 12:01 AM   #15
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

Fun to write the general story of the script but I'm not gonna spend a bunch of time to write the visual sense like explaining if it's INT/EXT or if it uses C/U, a two-shot, MS, LS, etc...
I'm not going that far into detail on a rough draft fan script LOL.

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Old 09-07-2006, 12:05 AM   #16
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

INT. HOUSE- NIGHT

JcDc typing with the lights down low, feels the sensation of cold from the ceiling fan that spins above. He reaches for his drink to notice it is now empty.

JCDC
Nooooooooooo!

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Old 09-07-2006, 02:37 PM   #17
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

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This is the beginning of my script (not written in proper format... rough yes.. very)

------------

Superman: Man of Steel (This title having a double meaning…)

During the opening credits we see a metallic object break open from an almost box shaped shell of metal. Lights on it begin to blink. It is of a design that is so enigmatic that one could interpret it as being many things such as a satellite or spaceship. Of course it is more than that.

End of opening credits, a black screen that soon comes into focus revealing the image of a floating Superman in space.
Not bad, but I have some questions for you.
Is the metallic object Brainiac and why did it come to earth?
Why did it come to Lex?

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Old 09-07-2006, 03:27 PM   #18
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

My idea would take from Superman TAS and a mix of pre-post crisis, and would only relate to the last movie in that Routh would still be Superman. I would like to see a new Lois, and the Kid would go the route that Jar Jar Binks did in Episodes II and III where he would eventually be forgotten. Also Lois would no longer be with Richard.

The opening shot would be in the past on Krypton. I'd like to see Anthony Hopkins do a cameo as Jor-El (this was the one thing I liked about the Abrams movie). The movie would show how Braniac, an ancient computer given to the Kryptonians by the Colu, gave Jor-El the information that supported his conclusion that Krypton would indeed be destroyed. Colu had a plot to destroy the Kryptonians jealous of their crystal technology and culture. It would then show a meeting of the Kryptonian science council and Braniac would lie and say Jor-El was incorrect of his theory of impending doom for Krypton. As in TAS Braniac would upload all of the main databanks from the Kryptonian archive, and flee the planet leaving all for dead.

Braniac would sort of be like V'ger from the old star Trek movie. Very ancient and had absorbed the knowledge of thousands of star systems across the galaxy.

Braniac would come to earth sensing the Kryptonian technology of Superman's fortress.

One thing I did like from Superman Returns, was Clark's desire to learn about his origins and his true homeworld. Clark would see the opportunity in Braniac to finally get the knowledge that he wanted, but his threat to the destruction of earth creates a dillema for him, destroy Braniac, or gather the knowledge he always wanted.

Another thing I would like to see is a more assertive Clark. Clark demands more attention of himself and less on Superman, especially regarding Lois.

I would also like to see Lex brought back, but as more of a subplot. Lex would use his inheritance to rebuild his business empire. You could have something in there about Lex wanting to make amens for his criminal past, but they need to show that Lex is having a more positive view. Immagine if Ken Lay had lived to be pardoned and rebuild a new business, and he appeared on the TV saying how sorry he was and how he was going to make up for his mistakes. This is the role I want to see for Lex. Also to include Lex in the story, he needs to try to take advantage of Superman's dilemma with Braniac.

Just some ideas, maybe you like them, maybe you don't. Either way it doesn't matter, because my ideas have a snowball's chance in hell of showing up in the movie.

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Old 09-10-2006, 02:15 AM   #19
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

I made a quick run through of a treatment for what I would like to see for a Superman sequal.









MAN OF STEEL



TREATMENT FOR A FEATURE FILM SCREEN PLAY



By
Gabriel iVAN Orendain-Necochea




August 17, 2006
The television news report that Lex Luthor is to be tried for nearly attempted genocide and nearly 1000 environmental code violations (in the previous film his maniacal attempt to create a fresh real-estate market nearly killed “billions”.) Kitty Kowalski, Lois Lane is to testify in a week, along with Superman.

Richard and Lois are at their lake house. They tell Jason to behave and that Daddy will be back shortly. Richard tells Lois he has to get his sunglasses and runs upstairs to get his sunglasses. Meanwhile, Lois is telling Jimmy all the medication Jason needs.

Richard quickly finds his glasses on the self, but then opens the bottom shelf and pulls out a box. He opens it and reveals a wedding ring with a huge diamond. When he goes back outside he starts the plane, and Lois seems stressed. He tells her to relax but she says she has been so busy lately that she cant think straight.

As they are flying Richard begins talking about how he knows things have been hard, but he really wants to show how much she means to him. Lois, meanwhile just looks out her window. He talks about how he thinks maybe they should take the next step with their relationship and make it official. As he pulls out the box they receive radio transmission that a bogy is coming and fast to their coordinates.

Richard asks “Your friend?” Lois is looking out the window. She sees something coming, but can barely make it out. Suddenly the bogy rips right through them, causing the plane to spiral out of control. Lois passes out while Richard tries desperately to stabilize the airplane. The plane continues to spiral but, it is stopped by Superman. He tries to protect the plane but Zod keeps on interfering. Zod-
“I didn’t know how else to get your attention.”

All Richard can see is Superman and has no idea what is going on. Superman flies down and grabs the plane that was pummeling out of control and stabilizes it. He flies down and sets it on the water. Zod lands a HUGE punch that sends Superman up above the clouds. When Superman regains control Zod is right there to take it back. Zod delivers a series of punches that send Superman tumbling down into the city. Zod throws a fast punch but Superman catches it and tosses Zod on to the floor, Zod goes through the concrete and is in the sewers. He floats back up enraged.

“Careful Superman,” Zod says with a cocky smile on his face. “We wouldn’t want to get this wet, now would we?”

Zod holds up a Kryptonian crystal, Superman looks at it in disbelief. He flies in and grabs Zod’s arm. They wrestle for the crystal. Zod head butts Superman, gaining the upper hand.

Superman is fighting General Zod in the middle of Metropolis. Superman flies through a bus after being thrown by Zod. Zod is enraged, but Superman is not shaken. Superman breaks the bus in half and all the people evacuate. Zod zooms towards but gets driven down to the ground by the bus. Zod gets up, only to be blinded sided by Superman and tackled into the air. Zod recovers and the two smash right through building, exchanging blows left and right inside the buildings, through cubical, and throw stories. Superman lands a hard left on Zod, sending Zod pummeling the air.

As he recovers, he notices a chunk of the ceiling (once the floor) is losing stability and begins to fall. He intercepts it before it hits some civilians below it and throws it out the window. It flies out and hits an Zod (who was flying back towards Superman.) Zod smashes through it and is greeted by the hardest punch ever delivered. Zod flies up in the air. Superman flies up after him and takes the crystal from Zod.

After he struggles with Zod for control of the crystal he obtains it then hits Zod, sending Zod towards the ocean. As Zod is falling towards the water brakes of a small piece and throws it at Zod. As soon as Zod hits the water the small piece of the crystal wraps Zod, creating a crystal cell. The black outs happen again, A wedding is interrupted, the hospitals go crazy, all the airplanes lose power. Zod is completely immobilized.

Superman is breathing heavily. He puts the crystal on the roof of a building then flies down and gets Zod, in suspended animation, pulling him out of the water. Then all the power comes back. The media shows up to the scene but most of their cameras aren’t working. This agitates them all. Superman flies to go check on Lois and Richard, the plane is empty. He is confused. He flies around looking for Lois. He goes to the hospital as Clark Kent.

He asks a worker if a Lois Lane has checked in, she says he’ll have to wait until the computers come back online. Clark notices a check in sheet. The girl realizes who Lois Lane is and says she thinks Superman brought her in. Clark questions her.

“Are you sure a big guy in blue suit with a red cape flying in?” Clark then asks someone else, who tells him that Lois is indeed in the hospital and that he saw Superman fly her in, Clark is puzzled by this. Clark asks if she is ok, the guy says yes, just in shock, but is uninjured. Clark asks if Richard White as been admitted as well, the guy tells him that Superman came with her only. He changes back to Superman and goes back to find Richard. Its nighttime and the clean up crew are already on the scene and they say there is no sign of anybody. Then flies back to the roof to get the crystal, he finds it and flies back to his apartment in Metropolis. He puts the crystal on the table and gets ready to go to bed; all the clocks in the place need to blink “12:00.” He resets all his clocks after his shower.

The next morning he goes to visit Lois, who tells him she was unconscious the whole time and doesn’t remember a thing or what happened to Richard. Clark Kent tells Lois he has something important to tell her. She says that if this is concerning Jason and the fact that Her and Richard aren’t married yet then he drops it now. He starts by hesitantly trying to tell her that he hasn’t been honest about himself, and that he is kind of concerned she hasn’t figured it out yet. He tells her that he is…

Jason and Jimmy walk into the room, Jason is holding flowers. She asks what he wanted to tell her and then asked Jimmy and Jason if he can have one minute to tell Lois something. They step out momentarily. He begins again, stuttering. He collects himself and says it. “Lois, I am-”

“Superman!” Jason says as him and Jimmy bolt in.

Clark, baffled becomes quiet.

“Superman?” Lois looks at Clark. Clark simply smiles.

“No! On TV” Clark turns on the surprise there is Superman, Inside the courtroom, testifying that Lex Luthor is innocent of all charges and that a meteor caused the large land mass to come up.”

“What is he thinking?” Says Lois.

Clark is staring at screen in disbelief. He excuses himself and goes outside, changes into his blue tights. He jets over to the courthouse. He is looking around but cannot find the imposter. A barrage of questions hits him. He simply flies away.

At the Kent Farm Clark is venting to his mother. He explains to her that, that wasn’t him. When she asks why didn’t he just tell them the truth he said it was because people wouldn’t be able to trust him anymore. His mom hands him a glass of milk.

He drinks it and eats his pie. He tells his mother about Zod, and how he hasn’t figured out how he got the crystal, or even how many are out there. She asks what has happened to Zod, and he tells her that General Lane has it under security. She ask if its safe for Zod to be there, if they can handle it, and he tells her that Zod won’t be going anywhere. She then presses about why isn’t he looking for the imposter, and Clark says

“It’s not easy to find yourself in this world.”

Lex Luthor walks into the Vanderworth house. He is excited and baffled. He pours himself a drink and then hears a voice calling his name. He simply ignores it and takes a drink. After he hears the noise again he empties the drink. It keeps calling him and he goes downstairs to investigate. He follows the noise back into the room with the train set. The crystal has grown. Three big red circles that form an upside down triangle illuminate from the crystal. It is Brainiac. Brainiac explains to Lex about the clone, and how he grew it with the use of Kryptonian technology. The room is filled with failed clones and half developed monstrosities. The one that was successful is labeled B2R0.

Brainiac explains to Luthor that he needs a body. When Luthor asks why doesn’t he just grow one Brainiac response by telling Luthor he doesn’t have the resources needed to make the body he needs. Brainiac explains that an organic body lacks the efficiency he demands. Luthor says that for that he is going to need more money. Then he asks Brainiac what else does he know how to build.

Superman is flying around and he looks down at his hands. They are beginning to crack and turn pale. He doesn’t know why becomes concerned. Superman is looking up from the heavens at him, spying on him. His starts off by doing good, putting out fires, but he gives frostbite to the people inside. There is a car accident that causes traffic. Superman, (the clone) merely puts the cars on a roof. There is an upside down car on fire, He merely turns it right side up. Every time we see the clone he looks worst and worst. He sees his reflection on the glass and thinks his “S” is backwards, so he flips his costume inside out.

Lex Corp is born, and Lex Corp rivals Boeing, Lockheed, and Holt Holdings Inc., The now subsidiary of Wayne Tech. Luthor becomes a billionaire after signing one government contract and buys a building in the heart of Metropolis, with the Lex Corp logo being constructed on top of the building.

Lois Lane is at her house. Jason asks her when daddy is coming back and she says she doesn’t know. She tells Jason that no matter what happens she will always be there for him. She holds him and begins to cry. The next morning she goes over back to work. Perry tells her that he hasn’t been getting much sleep. He tells her that as a boy Richard was always the nicest guy and that he was always determined. He was horrible at math but stuck through it because he always wanted to fly. She asks him if he thinks they’ll ever see him again, and he says he doesn’t know, but that deep down he thinks he will.

The clone has deteriorated so much by this point he looks like his comic counterpart, Bizarro. After having flashbacks of his “birth” Bizarro is courious about his origin. Bizarro goes into the Vanderworth residence and asks Brainiac, who he is. Brainiac tells him an imperfect clone of Superman. Bizarro asks if he is Superman, and Brainiac says “No”

“You are an imperfect clone, created to lie.” (For freeing Lex) Bizarro looks at his “birth chamber” and sees the title B2R0, and says “BzzR-O, is that Superman real name?” Brainiac says no then Bizarro says “Bizarro, Superman is Bizarro. I am Superman, Bizarro is me.” Lex tells Bizarro he looks like crap, Bizarro says “Thank you.” Lex gets a call. The military wants missiles from Lex Corp. He asks Bizarro to step outside. Bizarro stays there. Luthor then sarcastically says “Or, just stay there.”
Bizarro bolts out of house, making a hole in the roof. He finds Lois Lane smoking a cigarette on the roof of the Daily Planet. He uses his heat vision and burns it. Lois is scared when she sees Bizarro. She, not knowing its not Superman, asks him whats happening to him.

“Feeling better then ever.”

“What were you thinking? Did Luthor buy you out? How could you do such a thing?”

“Luthor is my enemy, Luthor is also honest. I told the truth.”

“What did you do to Richard?”

“Take him to hospital”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Lois Lane love Superman?” Lois doesn’t say anything? “Will Lois kiss Superman?” She says no, so he forces himself upon her. She screams and Superman pulls Bizarro off.
Lois is shocked and relieved. Confused Bizarro asks who the “imposter” is. He charges at Superman and they begin to fight. They fight through the city, manuvering through the air, trying to avoid buildings. The two crash through buildings and cause destruction through out the city.

They up in the air, they fight go to the edge of the earth, they fight down in the sewers, they fight over and under water. The news catches them and it is revealed that Superman has an imposter. They fight and go through an oil tanker that catches on fire in the middle of the ocean. Superman is forced to let Bizarro escape in order to save the oil tanker.

Afterwards Lois is at home watching 60 minutes, Mike Wallace is interviewing Lex Luthor and they walk through his half finished office and talk about he is in the record books for making the most money in the shortest about if time. They ask him about Superman, and why he thinks Superman testified. Luthor responds; “Keep your friends close…”

After the interview is over Mike in the Studio says that after the revolation that Superman had an imposter Luthor was unavailable for questioning, and that his newly appointed spokes person said that Lex Corp will be developing a weapon that insures the safety of man kind against alien threats.

Lois Lane is watching the same thing and gets agitaded and turns off the TV. Superman is looking from the atmosphere for Bizarro, but there is no sign of him.
Luthor is walking through what appears to be a secret underground base. One of the personels escort Luthor and tells him he is the only suspected felon to ever set foot on these grounds as a free man.

“Guilty until...” reply’s Luthor “What do you mean, freeman? Is this also a prison?”

“This is where that other Kryptonian is held also. Using some of the Kryptonite you sold us, we were able to extract some blood samples. We had to carefully remove his crystal cell and to keep him at bay we all had kryptonite with us. Later on we discovered the kryptonite had no effect, but the pieces of the blue crystal he came in did affect him.”

“Facinating”

“The Kryptonian decade just as the other Superman did over time, and is now reduced to a pathetic shell of his old self.”

“Is he still as strong as he was?”

“All the test we have ran show he is just as strong.”

“So where is he?”

“Over here, Mr. Luthor.”

The hideous Bizarro Zod looks up at Luthor. Luthor stares at him for a while, then focuses back on the personel.

“My missile should still work on Superman, if he is to ever act up, and I’ll make one to take care of the other one too.”

Clark Kent goes and visits Lois Lane. Jason is asleep on the floor after watching TV. Clark picks him up and puts him to bed. Lois thanks him and then they go to the living room. He confesses to her that he is Superman. She tells him to prove it and he begins to fly inside the house. She calls him a coward. He is shocked. She explains that only a coward would do something like that, leave their kid behind, then wait until her fiancé was out of the way. Then she suspects him of setting this whole thing up. She is so outraged she kicks him out of her house. Once he is out she falls to her knees crying.



I havent come up with an ending yet, but the ending would be similar to the IRON GIANT, Bizarro sacrificing himself after Brainiac lauches a series of Nukes.

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Old 09-10-2006, 04:07 AM   #20
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

Paragraphs man, paragraphs! Makes it easier to read through.

Oh, and loved your fan script JCDC. I visualised it all, and it played out pretty good!

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Old 09-10-2006, 02:37 PM   #21
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

I was mulling a fun little concept plot over in my head, and felt I needed to write it down. No dialogue, or exact story, but just a concept in my head. so here goes.

Preface: I know a lot of people feel that the SR franchise should now cut the strings of the original franchise, and move on. However, there are some beautiful momments in the original franchise that can lead so well into something that is so much more.

And so...

My current SRII would begin like so:

We are back on krypton, and we get to see Zod being captured for Treason after breaking a crystal, and then is caught by the hoolahoops. We get to see that whole scene again, ending with the roaring from zod 'You will bow down before me, both you, and then one day your heirs!!!"

Then we'd return to the reality of post SR superman. The main story would begin shortly after a small super adventure, in which Lois is saved by superman from some sort of dangerous situation she got herself into. Superman would get distracted by some sort of signal that only he can percieve, resulting in a little bit of damage done to the city. Life goes on.

We'd have a few Lane/White family bits, where we find out that Clark/Supes has come to terms with this domestic situation. Something along the lines, that Clark was raised by humans, and turned out well. So having Jason raised by Lois and Richard is best. Basically, superman has come to terms with, Richard, and Richard has earned Superman's Respect, concreting his position as Jason's adoptive father.

Superman begins to be harrased by a new member of the press, who is advocating that superman should be restrained some how because of the damage he can do etc. A result of the 'accident' that occurs in the introductory adventure. This is a subplot. It is not a majro plot, but I feel that Superman should be loved by some, and scare others, simply because of his absolute power. While this is going on, Superman is investigating what distracted him.

Anyhow, as the story goes on, we discover that Brainiac is coming, via New Krypton. But what is brainiac. Like TAS, I'd define him as a Kryptonian computer, whose goal is to know all (kind of like VGER from ST the motion picture). However, if the kryptonians designed Brainiac, why is it so evil and hell bent on universal domination? Because of Zod. That's the end of act 1)

flashback: Zod broke that crystal, and was captured by kryptonians, and set to trial. But I would adjust the plot to show that the broken crystal was some sort of firewall, or inhibitor which maintained brainiac's 'good nature'. Now that that is gone, we discover that Brainiac without this limiter is a malicious being and a minion of Zod.

Act 2) Some Brainiac like adventure would carry the story and we find out about the villian and what his goals are etc. Haven't really thought this one through yet. All I know, is that Superman will be forced on a mission, which will distract him from what brainiac is truely doing.

However, Act 2 would end with Brainiac capturing and killing Jason. (I know a lot of people would like this, and other are against it. I'm not really advocating either way, but I had this Idea a while ago, and I like it). Brainiac captures Jason, and Kills him. When Jason is captured, he is spirited away by Brainiac to Mt. Rushmore (which is no more). There, Jason is forced to his knees before the giant carving of Zod, Ursa and Non, before being stabbed by Brainiac with one of the crystals that Kitty dropped on New Krytpon before escaping it in SR.

Act 2 ends with Superman, and Richard finding Jasons limp body all alone in the rain, killed hours before. Both Richard and Superman get the 'rage'. Jason's dead body is left with Lois, while Superman and Richard head off on a quest of vengence.

Act 3 Would basically be the concluding act. Superman and Richard battle brainiac. But Brainiac is too much for Superman in the end. And how the story plays out, is that while Superman is using all his ability and strength to combat and distract Brainiac, Richard is able to sneak into what is Brainiac's core, and destroy the mega computer himself. Superman would hold back the tide, but in the end, it would be Richard who saves the world, while sacrificing himself.

Yada Yada Yada, the end. It's rough, and I haven't thought it through fully, but that's a pretty good vague outline.

I just really like the idea of Jason being slaughtered, while kneeling before the giant mountain sized carving of Zod. It just fits so well with Stamps tdelivery of the line: You will bow down before me, both you and one day your heirs.

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Old 09-11-2006, 12:10 AM   #22
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

Quote:
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Paragraphs man, paragraphs! Makes it easier to read through.

Oh, and loved your fan script JCDC. I visualised it all, and it played out pretty good!
Better?

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Old 09-12-2006, 02:49 PM   #23
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's an idea:

It's been maybe a year or two since Superman has returned. His mood has changed drastically and he's a lot happier. He's been performing good deeds, and is moving to the point where he maybe overdoing it and starts heading into things such as conquering world hunger and other problems. Supes begins to feel he's on call 24/7, and thinks about what Jor-El told him about guiding people towards a better way instead of saving them all the time.

Meanwhile, Lex uses the fortune he has and starts creating his own corporate empire. Obviously, the actual building isn't complete yet. With Lex's past history with Superman, he denies accusations of world conquest and talks about how Superman makes humanity weak and that we should depend on each other instead of some god in the sky. (What he really wants is for people to depend on and worship him, hypocritical bastard) It's a mystery if the public listens to his words.

Brainiac arrives, and the world somewhat welcomes him with open arms, thinking he's like Superman. Of course, Lex is suspicious of him, as well as the government, who are harboring ill feelings towards Superman for his absence. In fact, some think he may have brought Brainiac back with him. Anyway, Brainiac arrives, looking for the last surviving Kryptonian, and tries to capitalize on Kal's feelings about the world's dependence on him that to lure him away from Earth and by his side, or maybe to trap him. Talking about how weak humanity is. But Superman isn't able to leave, and Brainiac wonders why, and he slowly but surely the AI discovers another precious rarity other than the Last Son of Krypton: a half-breed Kryptonian.

Oh, and Brainiac wants to collect all of the knowledge on Earth and destroy the actual planet, perhaps even take a final human being, namely the greatest criminal mind of our time. Can Superman and Lex Luthor work together? We'll find out today!!

K, I'm done.

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Old 09-12-2006, 09:15 PM   #24
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

See I incorporated Brainiac into a fail safe device to save krypton rather than just be a collector of knowledge. I think STAS did that too perfectly too replicate.

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Old 09-15-2006, 06:24 PM   #25
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Default Re: Our own \S/writers work shop...--I present the SR Sequel Script--

Did I tell you I loved you today, JcDc? Well I love you man.

Here's my revised script I've been working on. ..

JASON'S CREEK A story by Dick Williams (that's me)

Fade IN: Space. We see a field of stars. It is silent, the stars twinkle in the endless darkness.

Something enters the screen, a shiny black object thats wandering through space slowly twisting around from one end of the screen to the other; it's turning over to reveal white piano keys. It is a piano twisting through the 0g of space.

Suddenly the screen flashes white!

[Interior: Kent apartment.]

We see a closeup of a child's eyes, he's breathing heavily. "Not that dream again..." he says, half yawning.

We zoom out to see the child's room. It has posters of Jake Ledger, some celebrity, on the walls, a wrath of khan doll set well preserved in plastic display cases on a shelf in the corner, with a few issues of the Arguer school magazine beside it. He seems like a normal kid.

Then like lightning, the kid zooms out of bed in a flash.

He is Jason, the Son of Superman.


------------

oh my god, thank you for reading. This was only part 1. I'll have part 2 up tomorrow.

It'll be about the villain, ursula, then we'll get into what I've been wanting to write about: the Custody battle.

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Superman Returns is better than the Dark Knight

Last edited by The Kid; 09-15-2006 at 06:28 PM.
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