Jourmugand vs. America

[Wilhelm-Scream]

There's a poster who could see a rose, in the park, on a summer day, and be reminded of how corrupt, fat and arrogant all of America is.





There's a poster who could post in a thread about Vegan recipes, or collecting stamps, and somehow turn it into a passive aggressive little anti-American screed.
His name is Jourmugand, and he's hilarious/sad.

We all have topics of which we're fond, but he is so wounded by America, so jealous, so indignant, that he seems consumed by a desire to see it fail, to say "I told you so.", to point out how inferior it is, daily.

Some of these observations are totally true and on-topic ( such as when he's in "America, the Thread", talking about how Bush has mismanaged the indefensible war. )
But some of his bat-s*** crazy segues into Anti-Americanism are freaking hilariously senseless.
Enjoy................

Indeed...god save America.

( because not enough Americans enjoy broadband )

It's sad that in America your pressured to be the absolute best,and ironically many don't achive that.They just have nameless jobs,and are part of the masses.You have every right to be scared,soon..you will have no say and just be a part of the crowd.

Can we think of any other countries where there's a pressure to succeed, or where people have no say and blend into "the crowd"?

This..is true.Not only in America,i can imagine the same thing would be done in Europe.I still say being gay is a defect in the human personality.

(*regarding the fact that if there was a homosexuality gene, parents would have it removed*
America is hardly the only place where homosexuality is considered to be bad (huLLO, the Middle East? WTH did he see the need to differentiate?
I love how he tries to sound open-minded and fair, but his odd focus on AMERICA gives him away. The poster he was responding to didn't say a word about America.)

Arrogance is what America is now,which is sad.

These are hilarious, where the arrogant guy condemns a whole nation for it's arrogance. lol

The French eat when they have to,not stuff their faces all the time like they do in America.Sure they have a snack once in a while,but not all the time.

Hahaha, this prejudiced, sad creature knows nothing about the fitness obsessed Americans, and the gluttonous, food-worshiping French.

You know America is in the gutter when the Red Sox win the world series.

Yeah!
"Gutter" is one of his favorite words of derision btw.
He's always saying, "The Bionic Woman's ratings are in THE GUTTER."
Or "Fantastic Four 2: The Rise of the Silver Surfer should be thrown in THE GUTTER."
He should learn a new one, like "kicked to the curb" or something.

Bush brainwashed America into hating France because..well,France has everything America doesn't.A longer live span for it's people,univeral healthcare,a high standard of living..and they have vacation time.

Yes, we simple-minded Americans fell under Bush's diabolical spell, because we have such a low standard of living and never get vacations. Yes.

Actually,America is the one that might get nuked.Since it's pissing off the whole world.

Bring it on!

What's odd is that these movies keep being made,it must be young people in America like to see such gore and things.

I've, uh, got some GREAT Italian, Japanese, British, French and Indian gore movies to show you, guy.

Europe has many different stews for all types of moods,and the seasons.

This is my favorite. Tzarinna made a thread because she likes soup. She made the mistake of letting her uncultured, oafish Americaness hang out by saying that she associates eating hot soup with the colder weather of Fall/Winter.
Well, European soups are not so LIMITED in scope!

A coffee colored skin tone?Bah,America is where the dregs lie.Europe has pure blood,that is where the upper class will be.

wow

America needs a cleansing.

From a thread about the "ethnic cleansing" of dark skinned people in L.A., by gangs.

America is not what it used to be.

(God, that one CUTS!
Yeah, thank God neither is Germany, or the U.K., or France, or Japan, or Russia, or..........)

If cars ran on carbon dioxide,then the problem of Global Warming would be solved.I would say this would be done for about 75 years,then new cars would have to be made.Why?Because we need that gas to help warm the planet,because of America..there is a influx of this gas..more than we need.

Yep, Global Warming.....the cause?
America.
China has nothing to do with it.
The ignorance and prejudice is RICH.

You would think in America,"land of the free" people would be more open minded to that..or would encourage that sort of thing.

(an American doesn't enjoy watching his girlfriend make out with another woman, like everyone does in Europe.I know that's a uniquely American trait....feeling uncomfortable watching your girlfriend make out with someone else.)

In America no rain,means more brush that could catch fire.

In Europe, no rain means gold, puppies and rainbows for the children of the unemployed!

People may have put cheese on things before,but with America as fat as it is.This is not done anymore..so much,i suppose.

What.....the.....f***?
I.....assure you, everyone I know is thin and many of our meals incorporate cheese.

With how things are,i heard that half of America does not have insurance...and those that do,have to flip the bill for those who don't.

Oh, the humanity. Who "flips the bill" for everyone's health care in other countries?




This one is great. He's tired of beating around the bush.

I am still waiting to see when their egos will be further rammed into the ground.The weakening American dollar is more poof.Cars?The Japanese has surpassed them already.

Oh YES! He can almost TASTE it! It will be SO glorious! *twist moustache*




(the bees disappear, plants become scarce, people die)

..atleast it will happen in America first.

Yeah, thank god for that.

America has a hard choice to make.

...eat babies, or rape babies...

America has always given me the impression that not all people can "live the dream".As most just work to give that dream to others..this is what i see..

Upper Class
These people control everything.But not everyone knows it,they are always White and Asian.

Middle Class
These people run the economy.They can make it,but not all can.These are Whites and Asians who did not amount to their full potential.

Lower Class
These are people that work the economy,the middle class runs it.These are the minorities,Africans and Hispanics.

Hahaha, what a simplistic view.
My boss is a Black woman and makes 10 times what I, a White man make.
Love the generalizations.

America is full of disturbing people.

(a thread about cutting yourself, a worldwide problem/past-time. Again, why does he hear "people cut themselves." and think, "America"?)

I could imagine such a thing happening in America.

(This was in a thread about a boy who killed himself when his parents forbade him to play video games. The boy was Russian. Bizarre. Guess it's time to let go of your bigotry and picture this happening in Russia, so you can get in line with reality. *shrug*)

Why not?Some say that Rugby is more dangerious than American football.Speaking of America,did the USA get eliminated yet..or did they win their match?

A guy said he didn't enjoy Rugby, so, knowing that Americans are drawn to violence like no other scum on Earth, he tries to entice the person, with a promise of something even MORE violent than American Football. Hahahahaha

I played (McDonalds Monopoly) when i last went to the USA.I could have won the million dollars,and i almost got 3 of the 4 railroads.But for each..i missed one sticker.

(No wonder he is so angry with the greedy, corrupt Americans!)

America has no credibility anymore.

(because Marion Jones admitted to cheating. Just stunning.)

I'm not bitter,in my country i have free health care and the fact that i will live longer than you,because i am not stressed.

More awesome generalizations and Doomsaying. BTW, I'm American and, I'm not stressed. I'm quite relaxed here.

It's like you said,America thinks healthcare for all is evil.

That's weird, then why are so many of us fighting to establish it?

Americans sit on their lazy butts,and still think they are the best in the world.Europe,China and Russia are comming out and could surpass the USA in many areas within 10-20 years.

Filthy, Lazy Americans!
I wonder how these Americans work so hard to be "the best", to the point that they are constantly stressed, while.....sitting on their lazy butts.

Is it true that whites and asians live in Queens,Manhattan and the Hamptions while the minortities are held in projects in The Bronx and Brooklyn?

Yes, we keep dark-skinned people in holding tanks in New York, to make soup out of their bones, which we only, daftly eat in October. Yes.

Owning a house in America is dangerious now.

FOR GOD'S SAKE DON'T BUY A HOUSE IN AMERICA! IT WILL EAT YOU!!!!WITHOUT CHEESE, BECAUSE IT'S A FAT, LAZY, ARROGANT HOUSE, THAT IS A WORKAHOLIC!

God Bless You, Jourmugand......and God Bless America

[The Lizard]

You'd think that a poster named after the giant serpent wrapped around the whole world in Norse mythology would have a more globally balanced viewpoint.


Oh, and....in before the lock!

[jaguarr]

Haha! This thread was inevitable.

jag

[rdh007]

Thou speakest the truth again, Goodman Wil.

Though I have to say as an American, that he's not always wrong.

[Darthphere]

Originally Posted by rdh007

Thou speakest the truth again, Goodman Wil.

Though I have to say as an American, that he's not always wrong.

Yeah, but his demeanor and timing is.

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Originally Posted by rdh007

Thou speakest the truth again, Goodman Wil.

Though I have to say as an American, that he's not always wrong.

Originally Posted by Wilhelm-Scream

Some of these observations are totally true and on-topic ( such as when he's in "America, the Thread", talking about how Bush has mismanaged the indefensible war. )

The stuff that's funny is like how European soup habits aren't as constrictive as American ones, lol.

[chamber-music]

what country is Jourmugand from?

[Immortalfire]

Originally Posted by chamber-music

what country is Jourmugand from?

Latveria

[Wilhelm-Scream]

Originally Posted by chamber-music

what country is Jourmugand from?

The one that's superior to America in every way where there is no injustice or crime, everyone is physically and mentally healthy and life is lived in perfect balance.

[Fran]

Brilliant!!!

[Arkady Rossovich]

[DBella]

Originally Posted by chamber-music

what country is Jourmugand from?

Utopia.

[StorminNorman]

This thread is brilliant,

[hippie_hunter]

Originally Posted by Jourmugand

And just what does that have to do with anything

The threads about your very obvious and ignorant hatred and often wrong generalizations of the United States. Not war.

And just what country do you come from?

[SoulManX]

This thread gives me a funny feeling in my tummy

[union_jak]

Jourmugand enjoys letting me know I "Pronounced" Union Jack wrong every so often

[PWN3R]

A coffee colored skin tone?Bah,America is where the dregs lie.Europe has pure blood,that is where the upper class will be.

HAhahaha this is the best quote ever.

[Addendum]

Uncle Sam killed Jourmugand's puppy. He was driving an SUV, listening to gangsta rap while eating McDonald's and smoking Lucky Strikes, while in the backseat Uncle Sam's girlfriend was burning coal while spraying old aerosol cans with CFC in them out the windows, and on the back was a ribbon magnet that read "Support our troops"

[Fran]

Originally Posted by PWN3R RANGER

HAhahaha this is the best quote ever.

When are you getting your 360 back?

I miss you. I miss us.

[PWN3R]

Originally Posted by farmerfran

When are you getting your 360 back?

I miss you. I miss us.

Another 2 or 3 weeks. All because of the evilness of America.

[rdh007]

How has this not closed yet? I really am surprised.

[Fran]

They don't close threads that are true.

[Dew k. Mosi]

I'm closing this, because no matter how funny the first post is (I am crying from laughing right now), we can't attack other posters