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Old 11-11-2009, 11:35 PM   #1
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Default OMG! One of the dumbest movies, and poorest comic adaptations I've ever seen!

I waited until the DVD release because the trailers didn't do much for me. I'm a big fan of GI Joe going back to my childhood years with Marvel and I even read the new IDW series. This movie..... wow! I guess anyone can make a film in Hollywood. I have never been someone who disses a movie for altering the original book or comic concept because it works better on film, but EVERYTHING changed in this film was for the worse.

Just some of the awful things in this film:

DESTRO - Could they have picked a skinnier Scottish weenie to be Destro?

GENERAL HAWK - Yeah, is there anyone more out of place as an Army General than Dennis Quaid? Didn't even give off the feeling of an experienced officer.

RIPCORD - Give me a break. This Wayans guy feels as military as Paris Hilton.

BARRONESS ORIGIN STORY - Okay, lady starts killing billions of people just because Duke couldn't save her brother in the Middle East. Yeah, that makes sense.

STORMSHADOW/SNAKEYE ORIGIN STORY - The first time they face off, we get a flashback of 5 year old ninjas fighting each other? Mkay. Didn't help at all how superhero-esque they looked in costumes.

COBRA COMMANDER ORIGIN STORY - Far and away the dumbest origin re-write. A U.S. Army soldier invades a bunker in the Middle East, sees a video about nano-bots, and decides to conquer the world? Okay. The story had already numbed me by then, so I guess I was ready for anything.

THE TOTAL DISRESPECT FOR A MILITARY THEME - Look, GI Joe has always been about sci-fi and the outrageous, but there were so few characters in this movie who could convince me that they had served any time in our nation's armed forces. Larry Hama's military roots are what made this series a great comic book run to begin with, so I guess they went to the cartoon for inspiration. From the androgynous casting choices, to the college co-ed vibe I got with Scarlett and Ripcord, I think Duke was probably the most realistic casting choice.

I could go on and on about what made this movie a laugher, but I fall back on Richard Donner's original quote about the first Superman movie. He refused to make it unless the studios would allow him to take the fictional legend serious. Audiences had to respect the character as a real person. There were so many cool concepts they could have done for a GI Joe movie. From making it feel realistic instead of cartoony sci-fi, to emphasizing the recruitment of the best Green Berets, Navy Seals, etc to be members of GI Joe. And most important, making the bad guys much cooler!

I really could care less if there's a sequel and I'll stick with something like the GI Joe Cobra mini-series by IDW if I want a work of fiction that actually tries not to be a three stooges fest. What a shame. This could have been a great movie in the right hands. As it is, it's destined for another Scooby-Doo run. A laughable attempt from a franchise property with a much bigger budget than its screenplay deserves.

Last edited by SpandexFan; 11-11-2009 at 11:51 PM.
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Old 11-12-2009, 12:19 AM   #2
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Default Re: OMG! One of the dumbest movies, and poorest comic adaptations I've ever seen!

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