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Old 02-21-2012, 11:08 AM   #76
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


CAPTAIN STACY: "There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." Now... I been sayin' that **** for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You'd be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a mother****er before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some **** this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking: maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here... he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'd like that. But that **** ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd."

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Old 03-04-2012, 01:38 PM   #77
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


SPIDER-MAN: I swear to God. I didnīt make this costume, I just wear it!

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"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

This article should be mandatory reading before people argue about movies on the internet:
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Old 03-04-2012, 01:46 PM   #78
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


CAPTAIN STACY: Okay, Iīve had enough of this crap! First, this vest isnīt some f****ing magic protecting field, Iīll still be killed by a point blank range shot and even when it protects me, it hurts like all hell, drops me on the floor and possibly breaks a rib or two, AND itīs f***ing useless against heavy weaponry. And no, I DONīT have to do the f****ing "KLAH-KLAK" thing every time I shoot this thing!! Like most modern shotguns like this, it automatically replaces the rounds! And NO WAY IN F***ING HELL I can shoot this thing over and over again like itīs a magic killing machine, these shotguns carry, like, seven rounds a time!! God, I f***ing hate Hollywood.

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"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

This article should be mandatory reading before people argue about movies on the internet:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common...-always-wrong/.
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Old 03-04-2012, 01:51 PM   #79
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hotwire View Post


Gwen: Peter, what are you doing out there?




Peter: I... uh... AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!




Gwen: Oh my God!

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Old 03-04-2012, 09:09 PM   #80
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by ultimatefan View Post

SPIDER-MAN: I swear to God. I didnīt make this costume, I just wear it!
Hehehehehe

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Old 03-04-2012, 09:09 PM   #81
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by ultimatefan View Post

CAPTAIN STACY: Okay, Iīve had enough of this crap! First, this vest isnīt some f****ing magic protecting field, Iīll still be killed by a point blank range shot and even when it protects me, it hurts like all hell, drops me on the floor and possibly breaks a rib or two, AND itīs f***ing useless against heavy weaponry. And no, I DONīT have to do the f****ing "KLAH-KLAK" thing every time I shoot this thing!! Like most modern shotguns like this, it automatically replaces the rounds! And NO WAY IN F***ING HELL I can shoot this thing over and over again like itīs a magic killing machine, these shotguns carry, like, seven rounds a time!! God, I f***ing hate Hollywood.
Bwahahahahaha

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Old 03-04-2012, 09:10 PM   #82
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


CAPTAIN STACY: "Sigh, another Burtonite/Nolanite debate gone horribly wrong... I can only imagine the horrors of Donnerites/Reeve-ites Vs. Non-Donnerites/Reeve-ites..."

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Old 03-05-2012, 05:00 AM   #83
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1



Gwen: Peter, You really shouldnīt come through the window, my dad installed a...



Peter: AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!




Gwen: ...penis-impaling booby trap.

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"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

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http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common...-always-wrong/.
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Old 03-05-2012, 03:56 PM   #84
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by ultimatefan View Post


Gwen: Peter, You really shouldnīt come through the window, my dad installed a...



Peter: AAAAGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!




Gwen: ...penis-impaling booby trap.
OUCH. Talk about over-protective.

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Old 03-05-2012, 06:05 PM   #85
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

^Having a cop for a dad will do that to ya.

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"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

This article should be mandatory reading before people argue about movies on the internet:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common...-always-wrong/.
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:30 PM   #86
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Gotta steal your sig UF -


CAPTAIN STACY: "All I have to say is this: ALL comic book adaptations take some liberties with the source material. Itīs just part of the process, and sometimes works for great effect. To just say "itīs not like in the comics" is not an argument. Drop it."

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Old 03-06-2012, 05:04 AM   #87
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Thanks, I appreciate it.

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"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

This article should be mandatory reading before people argue about movies on the internet:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common...-always-wrong/.
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Old 03-06-2012, 05:11 AM   #88
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


SPIDER-MAN: All Iīm saying is, regardless of any cryticisms you can make about the Occupy Movementīs goals and methods, the people have a right to protest against the unfairness of an economy where millions of honest, hard-working Americans were sent into poverty, and the nation as a whole into the worst recession since the Great Depression, while the execs and bankers who made this mess are mostly free, richer than ever, and still calling the shots!


CAP. STACY: Okay boys, letīs spread his commie-ass brains all over the pavement in 3... 2...

__________________
AVVY BY KANE 52630

"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

This article should be mandatory reading before people argue about movies on the internet:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common...-always-wrong/.
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Old 03-06-2012, 08:02 AM   #89
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


Ladies and gentlemen, prepare your eyes to witness what shall be, TRULY, the fight of the century!!


In THIS corner, arguably the most popular superhero of all time, for the first time completing a trilogy, fresh from the criticallty-acclaimed, billion dollar-making The Dark knight, helmed by acclaimed filmmaker Christopher Nolan, THEEE DAAARK KNIIIGHT RIIISEEES!!


In THIS corner, one of the greatest, most beloved superhero groups of all time, making their feature film debut, after each of the main members launched their own solo franchise, helmed by fan-favorite mastermind Joss Whedom, THEEE AAAVEEENGEEERS!!


And in THIS corner, arguably the one superhero whose popularity challenges that of the dark knight, looking for a fresh start with a reboot, regaining hype territory after a somewhat slow start thanks to an awesome trailer, helmed by talented newcomer Marc Webb, THEEE AAAMAAAZIIING SPIIIDEEER-MAAAN!!


LETīS GET READY TO RUUUUMBLEEEEEE!!!

__________________
AVVY BY KANE 52630

"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

This article should be mandatory reading before people argue about movies on the internet:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common...-always-wrong/.
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Old 03-06-2012, 03:24 PM   #90
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by ultimatefan View Post

SPIDER-MAN: All Iīm saying is, regardless of any cryticisms you can make about the Occupy Movementīs goals and methods, the people have a right to protest against the unfairness of an economy where millions of honest, hard-working Americans were sent into poverty, and the nation as a whole into the worst recession since the Great Depression, while the execs and bankers who made this mess are mostly free, richer than ever, and still calling the shots!


CAP. STACY: Okay boys, letīs spread his commie-ass brains all over the pavement in 3... 2...
Hehehehehe

The superhero rumble one is funny too.

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Old 03-06-2012, 04:37 PM   #91
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


"Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"

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Old 03-06-2012, 05:04 PM   #92
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by ultimatefan View Post

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare your eyes to witness what shall be, TRULY, the fight of the century!!


In THIS corner, arguably the most popular superhero of all time, for the first time completing a trilogy, fresh from the criticallty-acclaimed, billion dollar-making The Dark knight, helmed by acclaimed filmmaker Christopher Nolan, THEEE DAAARK KNIIIGHT RIIISEEES!!


In THIS corner, one of the greatest, most beloved superhero groups of all time, making their feature film debut, after each of the main members launched their own solo franchise, helmed by fan-favorite mastermind Joss Whedom, THEEE AAAVEEENGEEERS!!


And in THIS corner, arguably the one superhero whose popularity challenges that of the dark knight, looking for a fresh start with a reboot, regaining hype territory after a somewhat slow start thanks to an awesome trailer, helmed by talented newcomer Marc Webb, THEEE AAAMAAAZIIING SPIIIDEEER-MAAAN!!


LETīS GET READY TO RUUUUMBLEEEEEE!!!
wait batman has shoes? ugliest costume ever!!!! jk I like how the picture sizes generally match the hype sizes lol.

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Old 03-06-2012, 05:47 PM   #93
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by lordofthenerds View Post

"Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?"
Hehehehehe

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Old 03-06-2012, 06:16 PM   #94
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Thanks, cool stuff guys!

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AVVY BY KANE 52630

"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

This article should be mandatory reading before people argue about movies on the internet:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common...-always-wrong/.
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Old 03-06-2012, 08:42 PM   #95
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


CAPTAIN G. STACY: "I like to keep this handy for close encounters."

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Old 03-07-2012, 12:08 PM   #96
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1



Gwen: Everybody knows you never go full retard.



Peter: W-what do you mean?




Gwen: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, "Being There." Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed...

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AVVY BY KANE 52630

"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

This article should be mandatory reading before people argue about movies on the internet:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common...-always-wrong/.
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Old 03-07-2012, 02:27 PM   #97
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by ultimatefan View Post


Gwen: Everybody knows you never go full retard.



Peter: W-what do you mean?




Gwen: Check it out. Dustin Hoffman, 'Rain Man,' look retarded, act retarded, not retarded. Counted toothpicks, cheated cards. Autistic, sho'. Not retarded. You know Tom Hanks, 'Forrest Gump.' Slow, yes. Retarded, maybe. Braces on his legs. But he charmed the pants off Nixon and won a ping-pong competition. That ain't retarded. Peter Sellers, "Being There." Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. You went full retard, man. Never go full retard. You don't buy that? Ask Sean Penn, 2001, "I Am Sam." Remember? Went full retard, went home empty handed...
Hehehehehe

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Old 03-07-2012, 02:28 PM   #98
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


SPIDER-MAN: "Of course I support the troops. I'm a patriot."


CAP. STACY: "Oh yeah, you're a patriot. You're the Mili Vanilli of Patriots!"

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Old 03-09-2012, 06:52 PM   #99
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1


SPIDER-MAN: What am I being accused of?


CAP. STACY: Confronting a police offer.


SPIDER-MAN: I hadnīt said anything.


CAP. STACY: There it is. Take him away, boys.

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"Sometimes, people deserve more. Sometimes, they deserve to have their faith rewarded." So, thank you for rewarding mine, Mr. Nolan.

This article should be mandatory reading before people argue about movies on the internet:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-common...-always-wrong/.
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Old 03-09-2012, 09:29 PM   #100
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Default Re: The Spider-Man reboot caption thread - Part 1

Quote:
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SPIDER-MAN: What am I being accused of?


CAP. STACY: Confronting a police offer.


SPIDER-MAN: I hadnīt said anything.


CAP. STACY: There it is. Take him away, boys.
Hehehehehe

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