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Old 07-30-2012, 08:27 PM   #1
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Default Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy!

Speaking of the J-guy...we got into a huge ass fight over my concerns with his stripping at that non-strip club. I thought he'd be more understanding of my concerns, but when I asked him how he would feel if the roles were reversed, he just blew up.

He's slept on the couch for 2 days straight.

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Old 07-30-2012, 08:29 PM   #2
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Default Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy!

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Speaking of the J-guy...we got into a huge ass fight over my concerns with his stripping at that non-strip club. I thought he'd be more understanding of my concerns, but when I asked him how he would feel if the roles were reversed, he just blew up.

He's slept on the couch for 2 days straight.
Awww Im sorry. But in glad you spoke up. Maybe it will eventually sink in

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Old 07-30-2012, 08:29 PM   #3
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Oh no..................


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Old 07-30-2012, 08:34 PM   #4
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Default Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy!

He slept on the couch for that? How inconsiderate of your feelings.. :l

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Old 07-30-2012, 08:37 PM   #5
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Default Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy!

I'm so lost... striping?

(I haven't been on here a lot lately, kinda having health problems. )

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Old 07-30-2012, 08:40 PM   #6
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I'm so lost... striping?

(I haven't been on here a lot lately, kinda having health problems. )
Feel better soon.

Cliff notes version: My first husband Jason has been going through an early gay-life crisis that involves stripping at this local club. He has the body for it so he clearly is doing it for the attention and basically I don't appreciate it. He feels I'm being possessive, which I'm not.

And now we're going on day 3 of no speaking.

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Old 07-30-2012, 08:49 PM   #7
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Feel better soon.

Cliff notes version: My first husband Jason has been going through an early gay-life crisis that involves stripping at this local club. He has the body for it so he clearly is doing it for the attention and basically I don't appreciate it. He feels I'm being possessive, which I'm not.

And now we're going on day 3 of no speaking.
Do you think there may be an underlying issue for this crisis? Not saying you're the reason or anything like that, but maybe something else?

I mean... I know you're going to hate this, but if it's helping him get through this, why stop him? Unless you think it will lead to cheating. I mean, it is kinda possessive. I know you think it isn't but my bf is the same way. My bf got into a huff about me modeling in my underwear for a picture, which I didn't do anyways. He doesn't even like it when I went into gay clubs with my friends.

Maybe you can ask why he thinks this is helping him?

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Old 07-30-2012, 08:55 PM   #8
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Do you think there may be an underlying issue for this crisis? Not saying you're the reason or anything like that, but maybe something else?

I mean... I know you're going to hate this, but if it's helping him get through this, why stop him? Unless you think it will lead to cheating. I mean, it is kinda possessive. I know you think it isn't but my bf is the same way. My bf got into a huff about me modeling in my underwear for a picture, which I didn't do anyways. He doesn't even like it when I went into gay clubs with my friends.

Maybe you can ask why he thinks this is helping him?
The guys at the club have come to expect him to do this dancing tables thing. They flirt with him. He says it is all in good fun--and I'm sure it is--at least for Jase. But I see the way those guys look at him...they're ravenous; might as well have drool dripping.

Jason is very much into his physique--even more than I am into mine. And that's fine. I feel that if you work hard for it, why not be proud of it? But I think some things--including some behavior--is best saved for my eyes only. I mean, what was the purpose of doing this whole "marriage" thing anyway if it wasn't to make something about this relationship sacred? It doesn't add up for me.

He's testing me with this for some reason. Normally, he walks around the house with just long pajama pants on and maybe a wife-beater, etc. The last few days? Underwear. It's like the same "look but don't really touch" thing he does at the club. It particularly pisses me off because we're not speaking...which means we aren't doing other things too!

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Old 07-30-2012, 09:00 PM   #9
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Default Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy!

Meh.. obnoxious. He was never like this before you got hitched? And what are we, 10 years old with the silent treatment ****? The maturity has to be there.. an ex of mine did the whole silent treatment stuff to me constantly..

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Old 07-30-2012, 09:02 PM   #10
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Default Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy!

I think I view things differently than you do...
If it were my bf doing that, I'd think "Well... he's mine boys, and the second you touch him I'll tear your spine out"

But I understand your frustration, that's only fun for so long. And then you're like "alright... c'mon... you've shown off enough."

Is he getting all the way naked? Or just undies? I'd get pissed if too if he was naked, that's a little too much.

Also, just try talking to him, don't even bring the problem up. That could get him to open up about what's troubling him. Or is he not like that?

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Old 07-30-2012, 09:02 PM   #11
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Default Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy!

Is it for a job like a dancer or is he just doing it for fun?

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Old 07-31-2012, 12:50 AM   #12
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Default Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy!

Dancing no smokem le pipey.

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Old 07-31-2012, 08:10 AM   #13
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O__o;

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Old 07-31-2012, 12:24 PM   #14
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Heart Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy!

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I think I view things differently than you do...
If it were my bf doing that, I'd think "Well... he's mine boys, and the second you touch him I'll tear your spine out"

But I understand your frustration, that's only fun for so long. And then you're like "alright... c'mon... you've shown off enough."

Is he getting all the way naked? Or just undies? I'd get pissed if too if he was naked, that's a little too much.

Also, just try talking to him, don't even bring the problem up. That could get him to open up about what's troubling him. Or is he not like that?
No, it's nothing like that. He only takes off his shirt...and then swings it over his head, dances on the table, etc. The management at the place have actually spoken to him about not doing it, but he still sneaks it in when they are really packed.

It's a dance club/bar scene so it's not like he's the only shirtless guy gyrating in the joint. It just so happens it's my guy. I don't like the way I feel when he's doing it. It makes me feel...invisible.

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Old 07-31-2012, 12:31 PM   #15
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Is it for a job like a dancer or is he just doing it for fun?
Just for fun. The first time it was "funny." The second time was "Meh, okay." Now it happens ALL the time. I know for a fact he went Saturday....but without me. A friend texted me stating he saw him there. He didn't say if he did the shirtless thing or not--and he didn't say he wasn't going (so there was no lying involved, since we weren't talking anyway) but still...

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Old 07-31-2012, 12:39 PM   #16
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No, it's nothing like that. He only takes off his shirt...and then swings it over his head, dances on the table, etc. The management at the place have actually spoken to him about not doing it, but he still sneaks it in when they are really packed.

It's a dance club/bar scene so it's not like he's the only shirtless guy gyrating in the joint. It just so happens it's my guy. I don't like the way I feel when he's doing it. It makes me feel...invisible.
So for you is it not a worried he will cheat thing, and more of a you feeling absent of attention kinda thing?

And just a question... But have you ever acted anything close to that in front of him while dating ire before you dated?

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Old 07-31-2012, 12:44 PM   #17
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So for you is it not a worried he will cheat thing, and more of a you feeling absent of attention kinda thing?
No, I am not worried about him cheating at all, actually. That's the really weird thing about it. He's totally into me.

My point is that we are married now. I guess I just expected us both to do a lot less flirting and be more committed to eachother in new ways. For me, it's hard not to flirt because I love guys in general. But the option of breaking up with Jason is no longer on the table. We are legally bound together now. Shouldn't we be acting like it? And even if the Jason has no intention of cheating, why tempt others with such obvious efforts for attention?

In my opinion, it's like trying to see how close you can get to the fire before getting burned. Right now he's enjoying the singe.

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And just a question... But have you ever acted anything close to that in front of him while dating ire before you dated?
No. The only strip teasing I've done in front of him have been in our bedroom. People can look at us--fully clothed--and see we work out, so it's kinda redundant to me to do all of that in public. I reserve my showboating for either the gym or at home these days because I'm no longer "on the market".

As I said, it was *cute* the first time he did it. But it's gotten really, old, really quick.

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Old 07-31-2012, 01:28 PM   #18
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This is a continuation thread, the old thread is Here

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Old 07-31-2012, 01:28 PM   #19
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:28 PM   #20
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No, I am not worried about him cheating at all, actually. That's the really weird thing about it. He's totally into me.

My point is that we are married now. I guess I just expected us both to do a lot less flirting and be more committed to eachother in new ways. For me, it's hard not to flirt because I love guys in general. But the option of breaking up with Jason is no longer on the table. We are legally bound together now. Shouldn't we be acting like it? And even if the Jason has no intention of cheating, why tempt others with such obvious efforts for attention?

In my opinion, it's like trying to see how close you can get to the fire before getting burned. Right now he's enjoying the singe. :rolleyes:



No. The only strip teasing I've done in front of him have been in our bedroom. :funny: People can look at us--fully clothed--and see we work out, so it's kinda redundant to me to do all of that in public. I reserve my showboating for either the gym or at home these days because I'm no longer "on the market".

As I said, it was *cute* the first time he did it. But it's gotten really, old, really quick.
Maybe hes just liking the feeling of "look what i got that you cant have" thing going on....

That also being said.... If you're in a committed relationship i don't see how your outlook and views and how your relationship dynamic should be any different than before... At least you shouldn't expect a sudden drop of a hat difference. i love Marx and i think we already act married. Lol.

I think the gist for you might be that you never thought you'd get married so are putting more of an emphasis upon a change because of it.

But.... At the same time your honeymoon period shouldn't be over just yet. You are newlyweds still after all.

But i think both sides need to come together and find a comfortable medium. This new life together will be full of new adjustments

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Old 07-31-2012, 02:59 PM   #21
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Default Re: G7: Now With Group Therapy! - Part 6

G8: another group that secretly runs the world

G8: the "t" is silent

G8: Just one more 'til a free Chick-Fil-A sandwich!

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Old 07-31-2012, 03:03 PM   #22
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Nadia sulemon in the house

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Old 07-31-2012, 08:18 PM   #23
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The guys at the club have come to expect him to do this dancing tables thing. They flirt with him. He says it is all in good fun--and I'm sure it is--at least for Jase. But I see the way those guys look at him...they're ravenous; might as well have drool dripping.

Jason is very much into his physique--even more than I am into mine. And that's fine. I feel that if you work hard for it, why not be proud of it? But I think some things--including some behavior--is best saved for my eyes only. I mean, what was the purpose of doing this whole "marriage" thing anyway if it wasn't to make something about this relationship sacred? It doesn't add up for me.

He's testing me with this for some reason. Normally, he walks around the house with just long pajama pants on and maybe a wife-beater, etc. The last few days? Underwear. It's like the same "look but don't really touch" thing he does at the club. It particularly pisses me off because we're not speaking...which means we aren't doing other things too!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lightning Strykez! View Post
No, it's nothing like that. He only takes off his shirt...and then swings it over his head, dances on the table, etc. The management at the place have actually spoken to him about not doing it, but he still sneaks it in when they are really packed.

It's a dance club/bar scene so it's not like he's the only shirtless guy gyrating in the joint. It just so happens it's my guy. I don't like the way I feel when he's doing it. It makes me feel...invisible.
It's definitely confusing. He is married to one of the best looking guys in the club and he feels the need to show himself off in front of perfect strangers? It makes no sense. I still chalk it up to some sort of phase.

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Old 08-01-2012, 05:03 PM   #24
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Default Re: G8: Still Just As Action-Packed!

hey all. i'd like to give a big shout out of a congrats to Schloss for becoming a MOD!

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Old 08-01-2012, 05:08 PM   #25
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*Queen Elizabeth wave*

Thank you, thank you

RE: Jason....communication is crucial in any relationship.

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