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Old 04-05-2013, 11:44 PM   #1
terry78
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Default Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow...191857159.html


The snack that provides divine intervention. *Goldfish*

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Old 04-05-2013, 11:50 PM   #2
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

Cheesus Christ

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Old 04-05-2013, 11:54 PM   #3
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

Cracker, please...

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Old 04-05-2013, 11:57 PM   #4
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

I wish "Florida woman" would go see "Florida psychiatrist."

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Old 04-06-2013, 01:03 AM   #5
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

I would sell it on ebay but I am totally sure that God messed with a cracker to strengthen your faith instead of being more direct.

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Old 04-06-2013, 07:41 AM   #6
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

This **** still happens? I thought the "God/Jesus is in my food!" fad was soooo early 2000s.

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Old 04-06-2013, 09:29 AM   #7
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

I saw an ankh in a tiramisu once, but you don't see me calling the media.

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Old 04-06-2013, 09:49 AM   #8
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

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Old 04-06-2013, 10:10 AM   #9
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

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Originally Posted by JJJ's Ulcer View Post
I wish "Florida woman" would go see "Florida psychiatrist."
Maybe on the way there she'd run into the "Florida zombie".

Gotta admit, when I was drunk at 1 this morning, this topic was hilarious to me and several people. And I have religious beliefs, but seriously, a Goldfish cracker? Guessing God is using the obesity epidemic to his advantage.

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Old 04-06-2013, 10:44 AM   #10
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

I am convinced.

We should add it to the list of artifacts associated with Christianity. It should now read:

1. The Shroud of Turin
2. Holy Chalice
3. Arc of the Covenant
4. Senile Florida Woman's Goldfish Cracker
5. Spear of Destiny

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Old 04-06-2013, 11:18 AM   #11
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

I'm not one to believe in signs from God. Personally, I think He's too busy to care about what goes on down here. A misshapen cracker is nothing more than someone seeing what they want to see.

That being said, there is one thing even I'd call a sign from God. My aunt's dogwood tree. Ask any nursery and they'll tell you, a dogwood blooms once a year, between April and June, depending on the weather. But still, only once. My aunt was very sick in her last year's and, somehow, whenever she was feeling her worst, regardless of the time of year, that tree would bloom. Usually, just one flower but, that was enough.

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Old 04-06-2013, 11:21 AM   #12
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

Quote:
Originally Posted by Duran Man View Post
Cheesus Christ
Funny story, when I was a kid and I'd hear people yelling "JESUS CHRIST" in anger... I always thought they were saying "Cheesus".

#notraisedinthechurch

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Old 04-06-2013, 11:30 AM   #13
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

I've never seen Jesus in my club sandwich. I am a bad believer

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Old 04-06-2013, 11:32 AM   #14
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

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Originally Posted by Immortalfire View Post
I've never seen Jesus in my club sandwich. I am a bad believer
The pastor is going to tell you that you're catering to the ways of the world. That sandwich bread should be unleavened.

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Old 04-06-2013, 11:35 AM   #15
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

Oh golly

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Old 04-06-2013, 11:45 AM   #16
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

I bet some guy at the cracker factory is getting a good laugh right about now.

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Old 04-06-2013, 11:57 AM   #17
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

I practically ate a bagful of the pizza goldfish crackers and didn't see a thing.

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Old 04-06-2013, 03:45 PM   #18
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

Technically, if you believe in the older Christian symbols, that entire box of goldfish crackers is a sign from god.

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Old 04-06-2013, 04:45 PM   #19
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

Jesus has a 9 to 5 shift at the Pepperidge Farm factory.

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Old 04-06-2013, 04:50 PM   #20
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

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Originally Posted by lordofthenerds View Post
Jesus has a 9 to 5 shift at the Pepperidge Farm factory.
It's pronounced He-Soos.

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Old 04-06-2013, 04:57 PM   #21
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

Don't you people see this truly is a miracle, shows that a company is still in the U.S.!!

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Old 04-06-2013, 05:32 PM   #22
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

Quote:
Burke admittedly has been working from a large sample size, consuming between two and three pounds of the crackers per week. She says she eats the small crackers individually, examining each one for the optimal amount of savory coating.
Maybe it is a sign from God. Maybe He's telling her she eats too many crackers!

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Old 04-06-2013, 05:38 PM   #23
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

Quote:
Originally Posted by lordofthenerds View Post
Jesus has a 9 to 5 shift at the Pepperidge Farm factory.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sawyer View Post
It's pronounced He-Soos.

And immigration officers are kicking down his door as we speak.

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Shame on your racist views that you can't give a Harriet Tubman $20 to a stripper. I guess some of us here haven't heard of the Emancipation Proclamation.
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:51 PM   #24
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

So weird, I just got this one... What does it mean?



Last edited by Mondragon; 04-06-2013 at 07:55 PM.
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:56 PM   #25
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Default Re: Florida woman finds sign from God in goldfish cracker

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So weird, I just got this one... What does it mean?


God's telling you that the creationists are full of it.

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