The Superhero Cinematic Civil War - Part 60

[Drizzle]

It did help that they assembled more logically than the Ninja ones. How is the Ape Zord supposed to magically shrink to the size of an arm.

I'll at least give the movie credit for having the Ape zord look like an actual ape.

 

[Drizzle]

For me, the issue comes with the lifelessness of the whole thing. It's ice-cold and algorithmic, like a 90-minute commercial instead of a film, down to Pratt's vocal performance, the moronic needle drops, the bullet point list of cameos and references that's masquerading as a screenplay, and the unnecessarily by-the-numbers end credit scene. The animation is very pretty and it succeeded in making me want to play the games once more, but as a film, I've rarely been as dissatisfied. The 90s film is shoddily made and fairly ridiculous, but I'll take it any day over this squeaky-clean corporate presentation.

But I do genuinely appreciate that so many others were able to find joy in it. Maybe in this instance, I truly do "hate fun".

Fair points, I guess they just didn't bother me as much because I wasn't expecting a whole lot out of it to begin with. I even somehow got used to Pratt's voice even though I preferred every other performance in it.

 

[Spider-Fan]

In regards to Mario, I think it was overall unremarkable, but I probably have less ire about it cause it felt like it was made for 5 year olds lol. But yeah, it def felt like an AI could have made it

 

[Still Wynning]

I unironically love the Bob Hoskins Mario movie so make of that what you will.

That honestly explains so much of your movie/director takes.

 

[Web-Head]

Yeah, but kids movies can also be, ya know....good

Also, the 80s one was also a kids movie and that didn't stop it from being awesome! And not super MCU silly

Sure, but I'll reserve judgment until we see more footage.

Some of you are way too harsh on the Illuminati Mario movie. Could it have been better? Sure, but it really isn't THAT bad. The animation is great and it isn't a bastardization of the source material. Let's not pretend that the Mario games have some kind of vast deep lore with decades of world-building, etc. Zelda, sure, but the Mario games are purely basic fun. The one major criticism I have with the movie was the Marvelization of using pop music in so many scenes, especially at the expense of losing a far superior score that had a lot of nods to the original music from the games including a Donkey Kong Country cue that was dropped in favor of "Take On Me" in the final film for some dumb reason.

It's entertaining and did what it was supposed to. Most Illumination movies I've seen, I've enjoyed but they're never ones I'm in a rush to ever watch again. Let's also not pretend this movie didn't make over a billion dollars at the box office

 

[flickchick85]

The Mario movie was soulless tripe. The fact that it made over a billion is the surest sign yet that cinema is dead.

 

[SwordOfMorning]

That honestly explains so much of your movie/director takes.

100%

 

[Lily Adler]

The Mario movie was soulless tripe. The fact that it made over a billion is the surest sign yet that cinema is dead.

It was reference the movie for me. I wanted to like it, but it's just a bunch of Mario references shoved in for fan service with an ultra thin plot thread to keep it together. It looked pretty and some VAs worked, but it was a cashgrab and Nintendo really should have found a better partner than Illumination for this.

 

[flickchick85]

It was reference the movie for me. I wanted to like it, but it's just a bunch of Mario references shoved in for fan service with an ultra thin plot thread to keep it together. It looked pretty and some VAs worked, but it was a cashgrab and Nintendo really should have found a better partner than Illumination for this.

I genuinely prefer the Hoskins movie. At least that was trying to be…something lol.

 

[Lily Adler]

I genuinely prefer the Hoskins movie. At least that was trying to be…something lol.

Careful. I don't want Illumination posthumously use an AI clone of Hoskins to voice Mario...

 

[flickchick85]

Finally caved and started X-Men '97. I've always heard people say X-Men was soapy but my kneejerk response to that was always, "but aren't all superhero stories at heart?" I adored this stuff as a kid. Watched the 90's incarnation religiously. But no, watching this as an adult...this is SOAPY. And I say this as someone who loves Buffy, The OC, all that teen soap stuff. This might be too soapy for me! And if they're using more stuff from the comics that they were afraid to use in the 90's, then I'm starting to get the impression that the X-Men comics were probably never really for me. The voice acting is also iffy. Idk, the first episode almost won me back through pure nostalgia, but the more I watch, the more I think I'm just not meant to be an X-Men fan in 2024. 🤷‍♀️

Also, did my childhood brain just completely block out Morph?!? I don't remember this character at all!

 

[Shinobi Shaw]

Finally caved and started X-Men '97. I've always heard people say X-Men was soapy but my kneejerk response to that was always, "but aren't all superhero stories at heart?" I adored this stuff as a kid. Watched the 90's incarnation religiously. But no, watching this as an adult...this is SOAPY. And I say this as someone who loves Buffy, The OC, all that teen soap stuff. This might be too soapy for me! And if they're using more stuff from the comics that they were afraid to use in the 90's, then I'm starting to get the impression that the X-Men comics were probably never really for me. The voice acting is also iffy. Idk, the first episode almost won me back through pure nostalgia, but the more I watch, the more I think I'm just not meant to be an X-Men fan in 2024. 🤷‍♀️

Also, did my childhood brain just completely block out Morph?!? I don't remember this character at all!

And that’s what makes the Uncanny X-Men so good! Besides their timely themes of fighting prejudice and intolerance, they’re just a messy melodrama with messy mutants LOL.

But Flick, ‘97 is too soapy for you yet both of our dramatic loving asses was at that tv screen watching ALL the soapy twists and turns that happened on Superman & Lois last season?



But yeah the voice acting at the start is ehh, but if you hang in there it gets better.

 

[flickchick85]

And that’s what makes the Uncanny X-Men so good! Besides their timely themes of fighting prejudice and intolerance, they’re just a messy melodrama with messy mutants LOL.

But Flick, ‘97 is too soapy for you yet both of our dramatic loving asses was at that tv screen watching ALL the soapy twists and turns that happened on Superman & Lois last season?

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But yeah the voice acting at the start is ehh, but if you hang in there it gets better.

Yeah the S&L drama felt earned, imo. They are racing through all this messy melodrama so fast I'm not buying any of these relationships even a little bit. I LOVE good melodrama! This just...ain't it imo. Oh well. I will say Storm's little subplot got to me. That was good. All the stuff with Rogue, Magneto, Gambit, Cyclops, Jean, and...you know who....and Jubilee and random dude...not so much.

At least we got a teaser for MAWS S2 today. Now that's some good superhero animation content!

 

[Sithborg]

Finally caved and started X-Men '97. I've always heard people say X-Men was soapy but my kneejerk response to that was always, "but aren't all superhero stories at heart?" I adored this stuff as a kid. Watched the 90's incarnation religiously. But no, watching this as an adult...this is SOAPY. And I say this as someone who loves Buffy, The OC, all that teen soap stuff. This might be too soapy for me! And if they're using more stuff from the comics that they were afraid to use in the 90's, then I'm starting to get the impression that the X-Men comics were probably never really for me. The voice acting is also iffy. Idk, the first episode almost won me back through pure nostalgia, but the more I watch, the more I think I'm just not meant to be an X-Men fan in 2024. 🤷‍♀️

Also, did my childhood brain just completely block out Morph?!? I don't remember this character at all!

The Summers family tree/relationship tree is 2 soaps of content alone. Which, congrats for Betsy for going for a full set.

 

[Shinobi Shaw]

The Summers family tree/relationship tree is 2 soaps of content alone. Which, congrats for Betsy for going for a full set.

I’d rather a soap about Mystique and Destiny and their family drama.

Leading up to the inevitable wedding where Carol Danvers shows up of course.

 

[Sithborg]

I’d rather a soap about Mystique and Destiny and their family drama.

Leading up to the inevitable wedding where Carol Danvers shows up of course.

Making Claremont's, lets just go with idea, should not have worked. But somehow, Si Spurrier made the retcon work. Somehow, he did it.

Also, people complain about Magneto, but Destiny's current age timeline makes no sense.

 

[OtherwiseKnownAs]

 

[Spider-Fan]

Hoping that doesn't happen

 

[Chip Chipperson]

Ugh, I wish Viacom was buying Sony pictures instead, if we have to pick sides in this evil conglomerate ruled world

Sony is the armpit of Hollywood studios

 

[Shinobi Shaw]

Get ready for that Spider-Man/TMNT crossover.

 

[Chip Chipperson]

I just want Cloverfield 2, that’s not too much to ask is it

 

[Chip Chipperson]

Watch, they’ll fast track it with Avi Arad and Matt Tolmach as the executive producers, written by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman

Kill me now

 

[flickchick85]

Get ready for that Spider-Man/TMNT crossover.

I mean, that sounds fun, ngl. But it ain't worth this!

This is like that episode of the Office where Michael walked in and told Pam he wanted to adopt a kid. You can't even run yourself, Sony! Stop it.

 

[DJ Kornphlake]

 

[Chip Chipperson]

Maybe we’ll get that Star Trek emoji movie crossover that no one ever asked for

Oh jeez, they’re gonna own Star Trek too, that’s a bummer of a realization