100 Things Every man needs to know

[Lantern Venom]

*She always looks better inside the club

* If it goes up your nose, in your arm, or in your anus, avoid it.

* Farts are funny, especially in a car full of people. Rolling up the windows and turning on the heat in this situation is even better.

* If your friend and his/her mate are on different sides of the political aisle, avoid their house until the election is over.

 

[Majic Walrus]

When a woman says she's an animal lover she means crazy cat lady.

Don't be a vegan, there's no excuse for beef broth making you gag.

Don't be afraid to give another man a hug, just make sure it don't last long enough to be an embrace.

Don't get so fat you can't get off of the couch when your house is on fire.