Miken Ayers
Civilian
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2004
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SPOILERS!
Before I start my rant let me point out this issue helps my theory that they're shifting stories out of their intended order to accomodate last minute changes that are being announced. Remember in the arc before last where the creepy Mayans covered the city in snow, then in the next issue the snow melted? Well it's back and it's also referenced as being the snow from that same storm.
So, there's a new villain introduced that robs some bank, and Spider-Man can't catch her despite her having no super powers since she practices Parkour, or urban gymnastics. I know exactly what they're talking about here but Spider-Man can run faster than a normal human (anywhere from 50-70 mph) AND not only his abilities are on an unnatural level he should've caught her no problem. So he get's close enough to nail her with a spider tracer (Enough with the spider tracers and malfunctioning webshooters already.) So she sees the webshooter, cries to the cops, and turns herself in because she doesn't wanna be murdered.
Did I mention she also had a bunch of guys with webcams film her, so she could commit crimes and have them simultaneously stream on the internet?
So Peter get's his camera back, tries to sell the pictures to the DB, and Dexter won't buy them since everyone has cameras on their phones or carries digital cameras making the whole Spider-Man photographer angle dated. It's been dated for years, but Marvel made him go back to that. Probably just so they could tell this crap story. He then offers Peter two million dollars to do some paparazzi shots and then Joe Robertson questions Peter's integrity if he goes down this path. Bennett also offers this to Peter, because of the photos he can get from views no one else can capture, because he knows he's Spider-Man. Actually he didn't say that he referred to Peter as some sort of photographic ninja.
We get a scene of Jonah doing tai chi, and then he flips out seeing a DB billboard. Two cops come up to him trying to calm him down, and one just happens to be the cop that hate's Spider-Man that Peter might move in with. Another stupid subplot that's been done before where get's close with someone that happens to hate Spider-Man.
Next Peter goes to the club where some heart throb *****ebag celebrity is. It's referenced as being the club from the first BND issue. We see some chick made out of paper meanwhile Peter's walks past her to the rafters (she's blended in the wall, but the spider sense should've warned him about this) of some VIP section trying to get pictures of the guy doing something celebritylike. The guy get's sassy with a waitress that asks for his autograph,
Peter get's pictures and then they start chasing him. He get's in to the club section of the building and the spider sense is forgotten yet again by Dan Slott as Peter get's stonewalled by a bouncer. Harry and Lily see him ask if he's ok, then Harry immediately pretends he doesn't know Peter as bouncers drag him out and stomp his camera. Luckily his memory card is undamaged, but we know he's not getting two million dollars so who gives a crap? Then we see the Paper Doll chick with a room decorated in newspaper photos stroking that same celebrity's photo. I'm willing to bet she's not infatuated with photos so much as the photographer. I guess if this is the case Dan Slott saw Clueless recently.
So there's more crap puns, thinly veiled nostalgic throwbacks, and two new crap villains no one could give a crap about. And the sales continue to drop.
Before I start my rant let me point out this issue helps my theory that they're shifting stories out of their intended order to accomodate last minute changes that are being announced. Remember in the arc before last where the creepy Mayans covered the city in snow, then in the next issue the snow melted? Well it's back and it's also referenced as being the snow from that same storm.
So, there's a new villain introduced that robs some bank, and Spider-Man can't catch her despite her having no super powers since she practices Parkour, or urban gymnastics. I know exactly what they're talking about here but Spider-Man can run faster than a normal human (anywhere from 50-70 mph) AND not only his abilities are on an unnatural level he should've caught her no problem. So he get's close enough to nail her with a spider tracer (Enough with the spider tracers and malfunctioning webshooters already.) So she sees the webshooter, cries to the cops, and turns herself in because she doesn't wanna be murdered.
Did I mention she also had a bunch of guys with webcams film her, so she could commit crimes and have them simultaneously stream on the internet?
So Peter get's his camera back, tries to sell the pictures to the DB, and Dexter won't buy them since everyone has cameras on their phones or carries digital cameras making the whole Spider-Man photographer angle dated. It's been dated for years, but Marvel made him go back to that. Probably just so they could tell this crap story. He then offers Peter two million dollars to do some paparazzi shots and then Joe Robertson questions Peter's integrity if he goes down this path. Bennett also offers this to Peter, because of the photos he can get from views no one else can capture, because he knows he's Spider-Man. Actually he didn't say that he referred to Peter as some sort of photographic ninja.
We get a scene of Jonah doing tai chi, and then he flips out seeing a DB billboard. Two cops come up to him trying to calm him down, and one just happens to be the cop that hate's Spider-Man that Peter might move in with. Another stupid subplot that's been done before where get's close with someone that happens to hate Spider-Man.
Next Peter goes to the club where some heart throb *****ebag celebrity is. It's referenced as being the club from the first BND issue. We see some chick made out of paper meanwhile Peter's walks past her to the rafters (she's blended in the wall, but the spider sense should've warned him about this) of some VIP section trying to get pictures of the guy doing something celebritylike. The guy get's sassy with a waitress that asks for his autograph,
Peter get's pictures and then they start chasing him. He get's in to the club section of the building and the spider sense is forgotten yet again by Dan Slott as Peter get's stonewalled by a bouncer. Harry and Lily see him ask if he's ok, then Harry immediately pretends he doesn't know Peter as bouncers drag him out and stomp his camera. Luckily his memory card is undamaged, but we know he's not getting two million dollars so who gives a crap? Then we see the Paper Doll chick with a room decorated in newspaper photos stroking that same celebrity's photo. I'm willing to bet she's not infatuated with photos so much as the photographer. I guess if this is the case Dan Slott saw Clueless recently.
So there's more crap puns, thinly veiled nostalgic throwbacks, and two new crap villains no one could give a crap about. And the sales continue to drop.