Asking My Girl to Marry Me - QUESTION

[Paste Pot Pete]

I'm looking for an unbiased opinion, so I figured I'd ask the wise folks at SHH!

I've been with my girlfriend for seven years. We met in high school and have been together ever since. We both have very modest jobs and are slowly building up to getting a place together.

I feel like it's finally time to make it official. My question involves the ring. I don't have a lot of money, but I have just enough that I can basically afford a decent one, but it would wipe me out. I don't really care about the money, though; I'd get by. I just want to do what is both sensible and the best gesture of my love.

My mother is offering me my grandmother's engagement ring. It's very beautiful. My grandmother passed ten years ago, and I always regretted that she wasn't around to meet my girlfriend.

My question is - Should I give my girlfriend my grandmother's ring, or buy her a new one? I see the pros and cons in both. There is a lot of sentimentality attached to my grandmother's ring, and I think she would genuinely love the idea of wearing it. On the other hand, I'm sure a girl would also like a ring that she can call her own entirely.

So, I don't know what to do.

 

[Prison Mike]

I would give the grandmother ring. It's sentimental, part of the family, and free.

 

[AndThePickles]

I would give her the grandmother's ring. I think that it is a beautiful way to pass on part of your family to her, and it will really mean a lot that you love her enough to give it to her.

If she is the kind of girl worth marrying, then it won't be the ring she cares about most anyways, it will be marrying you.

 

[Immortalfire]

I've always liked the idea of passing on family rings in such a manner.

 

[imdaly]

Grandmother's.

 

[SuperFerret]

What they said. ^

 

[KALEL114]

Your Grandmother's ring is the way to go.

 

[regwec]

Give her the old ring! Spend a mere 10% of what you would on a new ring on the best bottle of Champagne you can find.

Good luck!

 

[Figs]

I'm looking for an unbiased opinion, so I figured I'd ask the wise folks at SHH!

I feel like it's finally time to make it official. My question involves the ring. I don't have a lot of money, but I have just enough that I can basically afford a decent one, but it would wipe me out. I don't really care about the money, though; I'd get by. I just want to do what is both sensible and the best gesture of my love.

My question is - Should I give my girlfriend my grandmother's ring, or buy her a new one? I see the pros and cons in both. There is a lot of sentimentality attached to my grandmother's ring, and I think she would genuinely love the idea of wearing it. On the other hand, I'm sure a girl would also like a ring that she can call her own entirely.

So, I don't know what to do.

It all comes down to if you think she'll like it. It could be ugly or "meh" to her and you might end up buying her a new ring in the long run. What does the ring look like?

I know what it's like to not have a lot of money(hell, I think most people do at this point), so I'm glad that my fiance doesn't like diamonds because getting a ring with those would have cost too much for what my income is right now. Then again, what I ended up getting her was expensive on it's own.

I don't expect you to take pictures of course but I am curious about the look and style of your grandma's ring.

 

[Bim]

As a woman, I say go for your grandmother`s ring. I think that means more than just buying a new ring, but of course this also depends on the woman. But u know her best: if u think she would really appreciate the history behind it, it`s definitely the best way to go t:

Best of luck and do let us know how it goes when you pop the question.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

I think it all depends on the woman. If you think she would really appreciate, love and cherish your grandmothers ring then give that one to her. If you think she would be like, "oh thanks" then get her a new one.

 

[The Question]

It really does depend on her. Is she the type of person who would most appreciate being made the kepper of a family heirloom, or is she the type of person who would most appreciate making her own family traditions instead of building off of yours?

 

[Alchemyst]

Your Grandmother's ring is the way to go.

I agree

 

[Majik1387]

Even though it's used in many sappy romantic movies, your grandmother's ring is the best way to go.

 

[Paste Pot Pete]

My sincerest thanks for all the feedback and well wishes!

I'm definitely leaning towards Grandma's ring. My girlfriend is a very family oriented person, and she's not at all materialistic. That's not to say that the ring is a piece of junk, though! It's white gold, which is what my girlfriend likes anyway, and (to my untrained eye) the diamond seems to be a nice one. I was going to get it appraised, of course, if only for my own curiousity.

 

[regwec]

Good. Now don't forget the Krug.

 

[doih]

Buying rings is overrated.

 

[MessiahDecoy123]

The new ring you can afford won't likely impress her anyway.

IF she doesn't like your grandmother's ring you can always go out and buy her a new one instead.

 

[The Apocalypse]

Give her your Grandmothers ring. Good luck man

 

[katie_girl09]

Grandma's ring.

 

[Timstuff]

Grandma's ring. It's nice to keep things like that in the family.

 

[Motown Marvel]

whatever you do, dont give her your grandma's pearl necklace.

 

[Erzengel]

About a year ago September 2009, I started on a "odyssey" to find a ring. It lead me to checking out the Caribbean, looking into diamond dealers in NY, and online. I got lucky and found out a friend got married to a gemologist and was able to get a really good deal on a ring.

You don't want to break the bank to get a ring and while you did say your girlfriend isn't materialistic, just make sure she doesn't have an ideal ring in her head. If she doesn't, then I think you should give your grandmother's ring. I've heard many of story of a guy getting a ring just to get a ring and a woman almost begrudgingly accepting it.

You also have been with her for 7 years? You should know by now what she would be looking for and if a heirloom would be an issue.

 

[redmarvel]

Give her the Grandmother's ring. Use the money for wedding rings and/or downpayment on your first home together.

 

[ALP]

Passing down the ring sounds like a fine idea, indeed.

Best of luck, mate.