If MTV's Celebrity Deathmatch was still around, I would loved to have seen the Kakamoras straight-up murder the Minions.
As the kids say, it's extremely mid. It's not bad but it fails to be on the level of the first one. This was originally meant to be a Disney+ series that got morphed into a sequel for theaters and you see where they chopped up the script and scenes. This movie is nothing but action and plot and it has zero character moments that made the first one so special along with the music that feels memorable. This has all the trappings of the Disneytoon Studios era movies where they would make direct-to-video sequels of their theatrical animated movies except the animation is still on par with the first one. Not only that this movie also feels like it's a part one of two with how this one ends which is extremely unfortunate. The voice cast is still decent enough and Auliʻi Cravalho who plays Moana does have a few moments where she shines but they don't really give The Rock's character much to do other than joke around and feel emotional during moments when it doesn't feel earned. Overall, while I still thoroughly enjoyed the animation, it's a misfire of a movie that needed to be retooled with a better script. 2.5/5
What a turd of a movie. The Farrelly brothers are back and they just keep getting worse as filmmakers. While on paper this has a pretty fun and interesting idea for a Christmas movie about a dyslexic kid accidentally summoning Satan when he sent a letter to Santa, the execution is done so horribly and it's so cheaply made even for a streamer. If there's anything that shows the shine is off from Jack Black nowadays, it's this movie right here whose shtick is so incredibly obnoxious. The humor itself is so dated and not even done well, the pacing is bizarre, the acting is horrendous, they put a dead brother subplot that completely changes the tone of the movie by the 3rd act, and they also put Post Malone in this as himself who looks like he is struggling to get arena concerts for some reason. There's a Ben Stiller cameo and it's sadly the best scene in the movie and I'm sure it's because it's all improv. Overall, it's probably one of the worst movies of the year. 1/5
Basically, just copy and paste my review for Chapter I.
I must add that for Chapter II, I did like how they brought back the squid plot from the comic even though they didn't recreate the iconic/devastating shot from Chapter 12. There's no reusing the Hallelujah song from the Snyder movie, thank god but I also dug the 80s synth music they chose for that whole scene. Overall, I still prefer the motion comic despite the voice cast but this is a fairy straight forward animated adaptation of the graphic novel. 2.5/5
Close enough, welcome back Beauty and the Beast & Black Swan.
This was fun and light for a small horror romcom. It's very much in the same vein as Lisa Frankenstein which came out early this year in terms of the type of romcom for monster movie nerds. This has a more amateur direction and style than Lisa Frankenstein but there are some good moments in between and I feel like they didn't give enough attention to making the script more clever than it ended up being. That being said, I thought Melissa Barrera was great in a fun and loose kind of way and her relationship with Tommy Dewey as the monster was the heart of the movie. The movie's overall metaphor message about female rage is almost too obvious at times but I thought it still worked. Overall, this could have been even better but it's solid (barely). 3/5
To quote this ancient Xzibit meme, "yo dawg, I put a sci-fi twist to your sci-fi twist!"
Yeah, this was a swing and a miss. It's a sci-fi mystery in the vein of Moon by Duncan Jones and Ad Astra but it's overproduced, over-edited, and over-complicated to the point it hurts its own narrative. It's pretty empty at times and the themes it wants to explore are a bit all over the place and it feels too proud of itself for thinking of that twist of a twist. The performances were somewhat decent, particularly with Casey Affleck & Laurence Fishburne. It does have its moments in parts but this needed some more going on than just space madness cliches. Overall, an unsatisfying sci-fi film that needed some work. 2/5
Finally, a fart joke that is important to the plot.
Fun movie. I'm so glad to see David Gordon Green return to his George Washington/Prince Avalanche indie roots after being stuck in studio horror. On paper with this plot, this sounds pretty much like so many Harkmark Christmas movies but it's not. It's far more in the vein of Be Kind and Rewind and Captain Fantastic with Ben Stiller and Linda Cardellini. The kids they got playing the orphaned nephews who are real-life siblings are pretty good in this and I'm sure this is the first time they've acted in anything and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if someone makes a Hanson music biopic in the near future. It was also great seeing Toby Huss, Tim Heidecker, and Edi Patterson and it's funny enough the movie does have some Pete & Pete/King of the Hill vibes to it. While it's got some cliche Christmas movie moments, it's done well enough with an indie style of direction that makes it more bearable to watch. Overall, while it's not super great, I still dug it and I'm glad David Gordon Green is back doing indies again. 3/5
Ruth is the type of person who watched the movie Carrie and rooted for the mom.
What an incredible movie that completely destroyed me. It's a stop-motion animated adult drama that takes a look into a life lived that explores loneliness, grief, tragedy, and sadness with some comedic elements that keep it moving. I wasn't familiar with the director Adam Elliot but the stop-motion animation in this film has a style and substance that reminds me of the glory days of Tim Burton & Henry Selick and the story also reminds me of Roald Dahl for obvious reasons with a more adult edge to it. It's a story that is both super heartbreaking and super bittersweet that's full to the brim of themes and metaphors and keeps you invested in Grace Pudel's story voiced incredibly well by Sarah Snook. It's got fantastic production & character designs and there is so much attention to detail when it comes to the animation. Overall, it's by far the best animated film so far and it's one of the best films of the year. 4.5/5
True growth for Chocolate Giddy-Up going from selling drugs to the community to helping out the community's youth.
A fantastic movie that takes you back to when '90s legal thrillers were cinematic and not regulated to TV. It's a very efficient courtroom drama that automatically pulls you in the moment you know the true details of the case early on and it's almost entirely centered around the jurors much like 12 Angry Men but updated for modern times. It's a great character study of Nicholas Hoult's character who is constantly battling himself on what the right thing to do is. It's entirely built on a great supporting cast who all get their moment to shine. Toni Collette, J. K. Simmons, Chris Messina, and Zoey Deutch were all great but I thought the moments with Cedric Yarbrough, Leslie Bibb, Adrienne C. Moore, and the rest of the jurors were some of the best parts of the movie because of all the little things they did in their performances. It's still incredible that Clint Eastwood still manages to make movies but I thought this was easily his best work in over 10 years and a lot of that is because he got the right actors, an entertaining script, and editors who know how to cut a movie to make it feel effortless and doesn't feel like it's dragging. As for the story, I was hoping it would give us another twist like Primal Fear but what they did with the ending was pretty well done and captured that sense of the walls closing in. Overall, I dug it a lot which I haven't said to a Clint Eastwood movie in over a decade. It's a damn shame Zaslav buried this because this would have gotten a great word of mouth throughout November into December. 4/5
Seeing "Based on an original idea by Daisy Ridley" at the end of this took me by surprise ngl.
I thought this was a fun little infidelity thriller that is pretty on the nose and very basic in its structure but ends with an interesting twist. It's entirely built on the performances by Daisy Ridley, Shazad Latif, and Matilda Lutz but more so with the directing and cinematography that slightly elevates it. It definitely has the vibes of movies like Gone Girl or those affair dramas from the 90s, but it's done with a much smaller scope. The movie kinda makes it fun to watch (in a "wow I can't believe he's this dumb" way) how much Shazad Latif's character f**ks up and goes out of his way to destroy his relationship with Daisy Ridley to be with Matilda Lutz's character. The script itself is pretty simple in that way and it doesn't give you anything more complex than the overall plot despite some of the nice camera work and editing. Overall, it's basically an elevated Lifetime movie with some solid performances. 3/5
Shout out to this movie when they had Regina King meet Huey P. Newton for the 10 Boondocks fans who saw the connection.
It's unfortunately a very basic wikipedia biopic on Shirley Chisholm and the 1972 presidential election that is only meant to be played at high schools. It's kinda this year's Rustin in a lot of ways. They don't really have a decent budget so a lot of it just looks cheap and poorly lit and the movie itself spends so much time speechifying almost every scene that almost none of the characters feel meaningful or real. Regina King was trying her best but she couldn't keep up with her bad Barbados accent that feels like you're watching an episode of Drunk History. Lance Reddick, Terrence Howard, and Brian Stokes Mitchell were pretty bland for the most part and I always wondered what happened to Lucas Hedges and his career and I guess I found my answer. I will say, there are some good and interesting moments but they are sandwiched into this bland movie. Overall, it's just barely a fine Oscar-bait biopic. 2.5/5
This movie was probably either gonna have Micheal Fassbender or Conor McGregor and I'm glad they picked correctly.
A really fun music biopic centered around the Irish hip-hop group Kneecap told through a wildly imaginative and stylish lens that is headfirst on its political commentary about the constant battle between Irish/British relations. For nonactors, I thought the three main guys in the group were great and did a decent job carrying the movie. I also thought they used Micheal Fassbender with just the right amount where he's in it for a decent amount but doesn't overshadow the main story. I also like how the movie has its own Margaret Thatcher character with Josie Walker. While the movie sorta follows a biopic structure it really goes against all the common trappings of your typical music biopic and they really made it as if there was a fictional band going through all the crazy bumps along the road and really focused on the authority commentary more than about forming the band. It's as if someone combined Sing Street with Stright Outta Compton with a little scoop of Trainspotting and the movie plays out in that way. Overall, definitely worth your time if you want something different and want something more out of your typical music biopic. 4/5
Knowing that a Supermoon was eventually gonna come back, I would have bought all the silver since that sh** would probably be worth more than gold.
A true and blue B horror werewolf movie that actually lives up to the word "b-movie". This is essentially The Purge meets Dog Soldiers with a little side of Resident Evil. The overall concept and world-building itself are actually pretty interesting and I'm shocked a genre studio like Blumhouse never thought of it. While most of the acting is pretty spotty and the dialogue is mostly cookie-cutter fluff, it's a movie that puts all its resources into delivering action and cool practical "guy in suit" werewolves with CGI transformation enhancements. Frank Grillo is definitely carrying the movie despite whatever Katrina Law & Ilfenesh Hadera were doing and I like the effort in trying to pull this off with limited resources. Overall, it's a horror movie that I probably admire more than I enjoyed it, but it knows what it is which is entertaining schlock. 3/5
I like how the movie stops itself so you can finish listening to the WTF pod with Marc Maron.
A bonified crime thriller that takes you on a journey much in the vein of Michael Mann & Taylor Sheridan that is set around a real-life white supremacist terrorist group in the early 80s set in the Pacific Northwest. It's a movie that doesn't waste its time and gets right into the mess of it all. Justin Kurzel does a great job using the environment and locations to its benefit and creating a great sense of scale during all of these robbery scenes. Jude Law, Nicholas Hoult, Tye Sheridan, and Jurnee Smollett were all great and all brought their A-game to this story. I do love seeing this version of Jude Law who was great in other more recent things like Black Sea, Side Effects, & The Rhythm Section (even though the other wasn't as good). While I think they could have gotten someone better just based on who this is about, I think Nicholas Hoult was pretty good in it, especially when it got to the end. It's a movie that weirdly would have benefited if it had a Jon Bernthal role in this. As for the story, some moments are more predictable than others but the impact is still pretty strong when those moments happen. Overall, really solid film. I'm glad Justin Kurzel was able to make this and I'm also curious where he goes next. 4/5
Shout out to Eduardo Franco for returning to his proper timeline where he was always meant to live and getting the best laugh in the movie.
Let me be clear, was this obvious late-90s nostalgia bait for people like me who were chronically online? Yes. Was this somehow less over-the-top campy than Maximum Overdrive? Yes. Was this also less funny and effective than This is The End? Also, yes. But this movie still somehow works for me with every '90s reference and dumb gag even if the movie didn't give me a fully realized version of what this could have been. It's also unbelievable that there wasn't a single "OMG THEY KILLED KENNY!" joke, but hey at least we know Tamagotchis can and will kill. I thought Jaeden Martell, Rachel Zegler, Julian Denniso, Eduardo Franco, Daniel Zolghadri, and Lachlan Watson, were pretty good and definitely have their moments even with Kyle Mooney as a white dude with dreads. Fred Durst plays as himself and I thought it was interesting they didn't do some de-aging but his whole section in the 3rd act didn't work as much as I wanted it to. If anything else, this a a great soundtrack, and every needle drop works especially The Thong Song. Overall, definitely flawed without question but I still had a lot of fun with it, I make no apologies. 3.5/5
What a deeply disturbing thriller that does a great job of keeping you inside the main character's mind and psyche without any moral lines. This feels like part David Fincher and part Steven Soderbergh with a little bit of early John Carpenter and Michael Mann that delves into similar themed movies like 8mm, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Unfriended: Dark Web, The Den, and The Poughkeepsie Tapes. The movie is also a media circus courtroom drama and they do it in a way that keeps you super invested in every word as you get to know the situation that led to this horrific murder trial. Juliette Gariépy as Kelly-Anne is so incredibly good in this as this emotionally cold and detached from humanity personality and they do such a good job keeping you guessing what her real motives are and what her connection to the trial is. It's a movie that has a real-world sensibility and is set and shot in Quebec and they do such a great job showcasing all the real-world tech fears that are really preset as you're watching this. Overall, it's fantastic. It's a movie that will definitely leave you feeling uneasy, anxious, and paranoid just like the other movie I listed and I can't wait to see what Juliette Gariépy does next. 4/5
This is one that I've seen scenes from the 3rd act on tv but never got around to watching the whole thing. For a movie that was only brought back to cash in on the supernatural slasher craze like Freddy and was originally meant to be the first Freddy vs Jason movie, I thought it was decent enough. Instead of it being Freddy vs Jason, this is pretty much Carrie vs Jason and Lar Park Lincoln as Tina does a pretty good job as the final girl. The movie almost resets itself after Jason Lives where you have teens showing up again at the lake and even the tone is more earnest than comical. The whole Tina subplot of her trying to fix her childhood trauma and going back to Crystal Lake to heal was not bad and Terry Kiser's character was interesting enough. While it brought back the nudity, it still toned down the gore for the most part because of the MPAA, and knowing there's a better cut of the movie out there, I'm sure the gore was done better than what's in the theatrical cut. Still, the movie gave us the famous sleeping bag death and my favorite door axe/tv toss death. While I enjoyed the 3rd act, I also wish they gave us more telekinetic battles between Tina and Jason. Overall, I technically see this as the start of the next trilogy and I thought this was pretty good all things considered. It's still a step down from Jason Lives but it's still better than New Beginning. 3.5/5
Shout out to Julius Gaw, the only man who ever fought and boxed Jason fair and square.
Maybe the one Friday the 13th movie I've seen the most times (mainly just the last 30 minutes). While yes, it takes forever for Jason to show up in Manhattan after being stuck on a boat for the majority of the movie, however watching it again once more, I actually ended up really enjoying the boat portion of the movie this time. I thought this one really leans into the Giallo style for that section of the movie from the color palette, the tropey characters, the low-waisted shots, the vague supernatural vibe, and how the kills are constructed on the boat. They even made Jason's mask purposely a little bit yellow if that tells you anything. I also loved the music in this and the soundtrack really rips. This also marks the end of the 80s for this series and I thought they did a good job with it between the fashion, music, and culture before they transitioned into the 90s. The final girl in this was also pretty good and this cast feels more like what you'd see in a Giallo movie in the 80s. Overall, had a lot of fun with it and I enjoyed the boat section even more this time. 4/5
If there's any justice in the world, Creighton Duke would be a character that shows up in every horror slasher franchise like the modern day Van Helsing.
What a bizarre cuckoo bananas movie that barely resembles a Friday the 13th movie and he never actually goes to hell until the very last scene and even that's questionable. I've only seen the opening multiple times but never got around to watching the whole thing. And man what a vastly different movie this becomes after that opening act which acts pretty traditional right down to the music that ends in a shocking meta way. Sean Cunningham returns as a producer and you can tell he wanted this movie to be his version of New Nightmare or H20 (both of which came later) in those first 30 minutes where it is self-referential and meta but nothing really stuck storywise because it totally shifts into something else. What that something else is... this is pretty much an Evil Dead movie that just happens to be with Jason Voorhees even to the point of them putting a Necronomicon easter egg in the movie. In a way it explains he's pretty much a deadite who has supernatural abilities and can possess others through a demonic worm, but really this movie just wanted to be an Evil Dead movie. I watched the unrated cut and I thought if anything else, the practical effects and gore were really good that's in the style of Sam Raimi. The characters and the overall story of the movie are all over the place and while I can see why people despise this movie, this kept me on my toes because it's so wild in how many tones this movie shifts within minutes between comedy and horror. At the end of the day, there are some hilarious moments in this that kept me going. Overall, ngl I had a good time. Is it good? not really. It's a Friday the 13th that goes into so bad/it's actually pretty fun territory for me so I can't say I hated watching this even as a fan of Jason who's bearly in this physically. 3/5
When Taron Egerton said "Yippee Kie Yay, Mr. Falcon." to Jason Bateman, I thought that was a little too on the nose.
A pretty solid Christmas-themed airport thriller that is so obviously borrowing heavily from Die Hard 2 and Phonebooth. I will say I'm so glad Jaume Collet-Serra is back to his old ways and delivering us a pure 90s thriller with all the attention to detail whether it's the various supporting cast who get small moments, using the real world setting to its maximum potential, and finding moments of it being a fun thrill ride that does a lot of crazy things. I also thought it was shot so well and they did a great job making it look like it was shot on film. That being said, I think the major problem I have with this is I think both Taron Egerton & Jason Bateman were really miscast who were so obviously trying to be Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman and trying very hard to do so but not getting there... and I feel like they could have gotten more accurate actors who got that action charm to them. Sofia Carson was fine but a little too robotic at times and I can't tell if I liked Theo Rossi in this but he's definitely in a 90s action movie. I think Danielle Deadwyler was really good in this even though she's obviously playing the Al Powell role and honestly would have been a better main character. A lot of the action is pretty well done but I think it needed another big set piece for it to really win me over. Overall, had fun with it and I'm so glad we get another Jaume Collet-Serra action thriller out of him even though I wish this had a better cast. 3/5
Damn, bro did all that because he got rejected by a girl.
It's shocking that I actually really enjoyed this despite it being an anime cash grab that was made just for Warner Bros to secure the rights again. It's the story about the war between Rohan and Dunland that happened years ago that was mentioned in The Two Towers and I thought they did an interesting job of coloring in a character that was almost an afterthought and actually didn't get a name which is the daughter of Helm (now called Hera). The entire movie is centered around Hera and the incident that caused this battle and because of that, it feels more fresh and new. At the same time, between the setting and the music they brought back, it's almost like you're watching the Rohan portion of The Two Towers all over again which I also didn't hate because the nostalgia worked on me. I thought the voice work was great between Gaia Wise as Héra and especially Brian Cox as Helm Hammerhand. Because of the 2D anime style and the main character, this has the feeling of Miyazaki movie like Princess Mononoke crossed with a little bit of Joan of Arc. It's also funny thinking how far we've come about Lord of the Rings and animation between this now and the Ralph Bakshi/Rankin/Bass days. Also seeing this in Dolby was an experience especially the sound and bass. I did think some of the middle of the movie felt a little slog but the 3rd act made up for it big time. Overall, I really enjoyed it and I enjoyed this way more than I did with the last two Hobbit films that went so off the deep end with the story and special effects. 3.5/5
I just wanna assume that's how Christopher Abbott is in real life at all times.
Hopefully, it's the end of the Sony live-action Spider-Man villain era because this really ends with a bang in so many ways. I must say I was actually with this movie for a good 45 minutes up until the movie went back into the present time. Everything just quickly morphs into the hilarious bad movie we all thought was going to be... everything between the performances, the line delivery, the nonsense action, the CGI, everything. This weirdly reminds me of two CBMs that kinda share this movie's fate, Ang Lee's Hulk and X-Men Origins Wolverine. You can see J. C. Chandor's original better version of this movie somewhere but then you notice all the reshoots and the re-editing to make this pretty dumb in a fun kind of way. Making Kraven a pure hero is just a bizarre mistake that puts this movie all over the place and I actually didn't really hate Aaron Taylor-Johnson's performance. Three people in this movie made this worth watching just based on how over-the-top silly they went with their performance and it's Alessandro Nivola as the Rhino, Christopher Abbott as the Foreigner, and, Russell Crowe as Kraven's dad. I would also add Ariana DeBose as Calypso in that too but I also thought the only actor in this that felt like he was trying is Fred Hechinger who plays the Chameleon. Overall, while I still think Madame Web takes the cake in "so bad it's good" this is probably my second favorite out of the 6 bad Sony Spider-Man villain movies. 2.5/5
Maybe the most I've ever double-checked to make sure if I was watching the right movie 60 seconds in.
I truly don't understand what this movie was trying to be or say. It's definitely made as a midnight movie for a genre film festival and I don't think this movie works as well as they think it does. It's trying to make a meta horror/comedy/splatter set in a fictional TV sitcom from the late 80s/early 90s that looks like it's trying to mimic Family Ties and Married with Children with a super Christian family (or at least the dad). The concept itself feels underdeveloped and it immediately loses the sitcom conceit when it starts getting weird and becomes a hostage thriller with three Russians. It really wants to be Too Many Cooks and it doesn't really succeed because this concept doesn't work at a movie length. There are some interesting and gnarly moments in this but when it's stretched out to a movie, it feels exhausting to watch. It's also crazy that both Nick Frost & Alicia Silverstone are both in this and do some wild things in it. I will say I think they did a great job with the set design and the practical gore effects. Overall, can't say I hated this but this felt like a misguided meta B horror comedy that should have been a short or part of an anthology like the V/H/S series. 2/5
Naming your character Lily Blossom Bloom is right up there with Thurman Merman. I laughed every time.
Wow, what a bad movie from start to finish. This is basically the white Tyler Perry movie with a better camera crew and a bigger budget, and this is basically Past Lives if Past Live was utter sh** and made as a bad soap opera. The movie starts with a hilarious funeral scene and has gone off the rails ever since. It's funny how both main characters show their red flags early on in the movie and they still just get together, so you're just watching a slow car crash for the next 2 hours. This movie has a lot of bad dialogue, a lot of bad performances across the board, and some bad directing, editing, and some bad continuity altogether. You know you're watching a bad romantic drama when they try to cover any real scene or montage with a generic pop song needle drop, I thought all the song choices were so bad and obvious. Blake Lively was pretty bad in this, but I thought they did a good job finding someone younger who kinda looks like her, and some of the flashbacks had something working. As far as the 3rd act goes, it goes from bad to even worse because of the strong mood shift to something more serious and they never earned that moment or even what they did with it at the very end that can be done if you're actually making a real movie and not some bad MTV pop movie. Overall, outside of the cinematography by Barry Peterson, definitely one of the worst movies of the year for so many reasons. 1/5
I think I've gotten better this year at figuring out when they immediately start to break into song a minute before they do it.... so I can tune that sh** out completely.
It's a pretty generic animated feature set in a fairy tale even for Netflix. It's one of those troubled Covid productions that went through different distributions and you can tell as you're watching it. This is not really anything new or special... and it almost has the feeling of watching a Disney knockoff direct-to-video movie that you'd see in a Walmart bin. The movie spends a lot of time in the castle before they finally get out and be the adventure movie they want to set out and make. The voice cast is decent enough and it's kinda wild to see the cast list for this. Rachel Zegler is once again giving it her all to material that is kinda below her talents. Javier Bardem & Nicole Kidman voice the parents and I wouldn't be surprised if they completely forgot they made this based on how little they were in it. Some interesting animation sequences kinda keep it from being completely disastrous as a movie but it's not enough to make it really good. Overall, not super bad but pretty forgettable. 2/5
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