Best/Favorite Dialogue from the 'Batman' films

[CFE]

Thought the 'Worst Dialogue' needed a counterpart...

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PENGUIN: "You're just jealous...because I'm a genuine freak, and YOU have to wear a MASK!"
BATMAN: "You might be right..."

CFE

 

[JaD]

Batman '89

Joker

"Where does he get those wonderful toys?"

 

[The Joker]

Joker is chatting to a charred corpse of a mob boss he just electrocuted to death with his lethal hand buzzer:

Joker: "Your pals, they're not bad people. Maybe we ought to give them a couple of days to think it over.......no?"
*Joker makes shocked faces at the corpse*
Joker: "Grease 'em now? Well....ok. You are a vicious bastard, Rutelli, and....I'm glad you're dead. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
*Joker walks away*
Joker: "I'm glad you're dead HAHAHAHAHA. Oh I'm glad you're dead HAHAHAHAHAHA"

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Joker is chatting to a charred corpse of a mob boss he just electrocuted to death with his lethal hand buzzer:

Joker: "Your pals, they're not bad people. Maybe we ought to give them a couple of days to think it over.......no?"
*Joker makes shocked faces at the corpse*
Joker: "Grease 'em now? Well....ok. You are a vicious bastard, Rutelli, and....I'm glad you're dead. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
*Joker walks away*
Joker: "I'm glad you're dead HAHAHAHAHA. Oh I'm glad you're dead HAHAHAHAHAHA"

That whole line of dialogue was excellent, the facial expressions really send it over the top.

I also liked the scene where he looks at himself in the mirror.

 

[Bat Attack]

"Gotham City, it always brings a smile to my face..."

*Reads newspaper headline about Batman*

"Winged Freak, terrorizes...wait'll they get a load of me. Woo-ooo, woop, woop, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

I love the laugh at the end, perfect.

 

[Bat Attack]

I also love all the dialogue from Vicki's apartment scene in Batman.

 

[The Joker]

Another classic...

Batman: "Admiring your handy work?"
Penguin: "Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding Mayor stuff"
*Batman takes a step forward*
Batman: "You're not the Mayor"
Penguin: "Things change"
Batman: "What do you want?"
Penguin: "Ahhh, the direct approach. I admire that from a man with a mask, heheheheh"
*Batman glares at Penguin*
Penguin: "You don't really think you'll win, do you?"
Batman: "Things change"

 

[ShadowBoxing]

Bruce Wayne/Batman - "Alfred, let's go shopping" (such a great way to introduce his detective/forensic/chemistry skills)

Batman - "I'm Batman" (Batman)

Batman - (on train) "Who said anything about stopping it"
"You never did learn to mind your surroundings"

Large Prisoner - "You are in hell little man, and I am the Devil"
*hits Bruce across the face*
Bruce Wayne - "You're not the Devil"
*hit again*
Bruce Wayne - "You're just practice"
*takes down prisoner - large fight ensues*
*armed guards fire into the air, taking Bruce away*
Bruce Wayne - "What are you doing?"
Guard - "PROTECTION!"
Bruce Wayne - "I don't need protection!"
Guard - "Protection for them"

 

[Swordmaster]

Batman: Selina, don't you see? We're the same. We're the same. Split, right down to the center.
*rips off mask*

Bruce: Selina...please.

Selina: Oh Bruce...I would love to live with you in your castle....forever just like in the fairy tales.

*Bruce approaches, hopeful. Selina screams and scratches him*

Selina: I just couldn't live with myself, so don't pretend this is a happy ending.

 

[ShaneHelms]

" The figure in the dark was my destiny.. It would change my life forever. I would use it's image to strike terror into the hearts of those who did evil. I would ensure that what happened to me would never happen to anyone else again.. I would have my revenge. "

 

[ShadowBoxing]

That is a good line.

 

[Parents-Gun-Bat]

" The figure in the dark was my destiny.. It would change my life forever. I would use it's image to strike terror into the hearts of those who did evil. I would ensure that what happened to me would never happen to anyone else again.. I would have my revenge. "

 

[Lord Doom]

Joker: "That lucious tan, those ruby lips, and a hair color SO natural only your undertaker knows for sure, HAHAHAHA! I know what you're saying, 'Where can I find these fine new items?' Well that's the gag: Chances are... You bought 'em already! AHAHAHAHA! So remember: Put on a happy face!AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 

[TLH]

"Listen, you're a great girl and I like you a lot, but for right now...SHUT UP! I have something I need to tell you"

Love that line.

 

[The Guard]

"You weigh a little more than a hundred and eight."

 

[Cain]

"This town needs an enema!"

 

[PyroChamber]

The only good dialogue Two-Face had in Forever...

Two-Face: One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat. Holy men are martyred, and junkies grow legion. Why? Why, why, why, why, why? Luck! Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck!

 

[DocLathropBrown]

"You know what? I mistook me for somebody else." - Bruce Wayne, Batman Returns.

 

[TLH]

Nobody has said "I'm Batman" yet? Sheesh.

 

[TLH]

Another classic...

Batman: "Admiring your handy work?"
Penguin: "Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding Mayor stuff"
*Batman takes a step forward*
Batman: "You're not the Mayor"
Penguin: "Things change"
Batman: "What do you want?"
Penguin: "Ahhh, the direct approach. I admire that from a man with a mask, heheheheh"
*Batman glares at Penguin*
Penguin: "You don't really think you'll win, do you?"
Batman: "Things change"

A flawless, witty exchange. I love the setting for that scene, with the snow in the background and the motif of black and white. It was awesome.

 

[Milu]

 

[Cain]

Nobody has said "I'm Batman" yet? Sheesh.

Umm yeah you clearly did not read through this thread.

Batman: Sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb.

Catwoman: The Law Doesn't apply to people like him or us.
Batman: Wrong on both counts.

Vicki Vale: You're insane.
Joker: I thought I was a Pisces.

Joker: Your beauty and the best, of course if anybody else calls you beast I'll rip their lungs out.

Batman: If Bruce Wayne could've given up his life to save your family, he would have.

Bruce: Now you wanna get nuts?!? c'mon! let's get nuts!

Gordon: I never said thank you.
Batman: ...and you'll never have to.

 

[Two-Face]

Batman (1989)

Grissom: Is that you, sugar bumps?
[turns around to see a man]
Grissom: Who the hell are you?
Joker: It's me... Sugar bumps.
Grissom: Jack? Oh... thank God you're alive! I heard you'd been...
Joker: Fried? Is that what you heard? You set me up over a woman. A WOMAN! You must be insane.
[Grissom goes for his gun]
Joker: Don't bother.
Grissom: Your life won't be worth spit!
Joker: I've been dead once already. It's very liberating. Think of it as a... therapy.
Grissom: Jack, listen. Maybe we can cut a deal.
Joker: Jack? Jack is dead, my friend.
[steps into the light]
Joker: You can call me... Joker.
[Grissom gapes]
Joker: And as you can see, I'm a lot happier.
[laughs, and then proceeds to kill Grissom]

Batman Returns:

The Penguin: "Why is their someone who always brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech?"

Catwoman: "It's chilly in here."
The Penguin: "I'll warm you. "

Batman Forever:

Two-Face: "One man is born a hero, his brother a coward. Babies starve, politicians grow fat. Holy men are martyred, and junkies grow legion. Why? Why, why, why, why, why? Luck! Blind, stupid, simple, doo-dah, clueless luck!"

The Riddler: You're ruining my big party! Are you *insane*?
Two-Face: Just waiting for you to deliver the Batman, dear boy.
The Riddler: Patience, O Bifurcated One!
Two-Face: Patience is hell! We want him dead!
The Riddler: Well, you could have let me in on the caper. We could have organized this, planned it... pre-sold the movie rights.
[Batman enters through the skylight, and begins to fit Two-Face's thugs]
The Riddler: You're entrance was good. His was better.
[Batman continues to fit thugs]
The Riddler: The difference: showmanship!

Batman: Wait! I have a riddle for you!
The Riddler: For me? Really? Tell me.
Batman: I see without seeing. To me, darkness is as clear as daylight. What am I?
The Riddler: Please! You're as blind as a bat!
Batman: Exactly.
[throws a batarang at his throne]

Batman Begins:

Bruce Wayne: "They told me there was nothing out there, nothing to fear. But the night my parents were murdered I caught a glimpse of something. I've looked for it ever since. I went around the world, searched in all the shadows. And there is something out there in the darkness, something terrifying, something that will not stop until it gets revenge... Me." (I know this isn't in the movie but I like it.)

[meeting someone introduced as Ra's al Ghul]
Bruce Wayne: You're not Ra's al Ghul. I watched him die.
Henri Ducard: [from behind Bruce Wayne] But is Ra's al Ghul immortal?
[Bruce turns around to face Ducard]
Henri Ducard: Are his methods supernatural?
Bruce Wayne: [to Ducard] Or cheap parlor tricks to conceal your true identity, "Ra's"?
Henri Ducard: Surely, a man who spends his nights scrambling across the rooftops of Gotham wouldn't begrudge me dual identities?
Bruce Wayne: I saved your life.
Henri Ducard: I warned you about compassion, Bruce.


Ra's al Ghul: Well, well. You took my advice about theatricality a bit... literally.

 

[Danielson]

Returns "Not a lot of reflective surfaces in the sewer huh?"
Penguin laughs "still, could be worse, my nose could be gushing blood" *everyone fakes a laugh* "....your nose could....your nose" *penguin bites nose.



My favorite Batman line ever wasn't in any of the movies, it was in a Begins trailer, something about "the nights my parents died, I saw something in the shadows, something terrifying, something that wouldn't stop until it had it's revenge....me"


Forever had some great lines, it's just too bad the visuals made it so you couldn't take it seriously, especially when Bruce is talking to Chase about his parents.

ALL of Arnold's lines and references to cold stuff was hilariously bad, there's actually a clip on youtube comprised of only those, if I could find it, I'd share it. There's also a funny youtube vid where guys dubbed over it and Arnold is just like "Ice, cool, freeze, frosty the snowman, frost bite, jack frost, icebox, let's kick some ice, ice pick, ice ice baby, frozen snowcones, frozen meat, frozen tundra, go packers"


Someone should find those and post them, I'm lazy.

 

[ND Irish]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZU7tzVu2h6k