Brace yourselves: Global Bacon Shortage Imminent!

[obin_gam]

Better start stocking up:

With pork costs rising, Great Britain is facing a bacon and sausage shortage as pig farmers cut back on herd size. But the problem may soon become global.
In a recent press release, the U.K.'s National Pig Association is warning that a "world shortage of pork and bacon next year is now unavoidable":

New data shows the European Union pig herd is declining at a significant rate, and this is a trend that is being mirrored around the world. Pig farmers have been plunged into loss by high pig-feed costs, caused by the global failure of maize and soya harvests. All main European pig-producing countries report shrinking sow herds.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

How terrible. People will be forced to lose their fat asses.

 

[obin_gam]

But what about breakfast? Are you anti-breakfast JJJ?

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Seeing as I haven't eaten it since 1996, I'd say "yes."

 

[Piper Maru]

Life is meaningless without bacon.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

Life is meaningless without bacon.

A Priest and a Rabbi are riding in a plane. After a while, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat swine?"

The Rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The Priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten bacon?"

To which the Rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted bacon."

The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The Priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The Rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The Priest replied, "Yes Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."

The Rabbi nodded understandingly for a moment and then said, "A lot better than bacon isn't it?"

 

[Kane52630]

*maniacal laughter*

My plan is working! *twirls mustache*

 

[Jennifer Walters]

I blame people making bacon flavor EVERYTHING lately. So many recipes exist with bacon now that don't need too. Why do we need a bacon cheesecake? Or a bacon brownie?

 

[obin_gam]

I blame people making bacon flavor EVERYTHING lately. So many recipes exist with bacon now that don't need too. Why do we need a bacon cheesecake? Or a bacon brownie?

I tried baconaise a few weeks ago. WHAT THE FFFUUU- is that? real bacon is pure deliciousness but that... thing, was just horrible

 

[Donut]

Porkpocalypse

 

[Evelisse]

things just got real,

I can only see this leading to human bacon, I see no other recourse.

 

[Jennifer Walters]

Well there's always turkey bacon. Lol.

 

[GuardianofOa]

I just read this and thought I should immediately come here! Nice job on the coverage.

"Brace yourselves, winter is coming.......Without bacon!"

 

[GuardianofOa]

I blame people making bacon flavor EVERYTHING lately. So many recipes exist with bacon now that don't need too. Why do we need a bacon cheesecake? Or a bacon brownie?

Shame on you. Such blasphemy.

 

[Pink Ranger]

Without bacon, Americans might have to eat Philip Seymour Hoffmann.

 

[Erzengel]

Get thee to a Wendys for a baconnater.

 

[GoldCrest]

I don't get the obsession with bacon.

 

[knowsbleed]

People don't really like bacon as much as they claim they do. Just like religion.

 

[THE MR. TERRIFIC]

 

[Nell2ThaIzzay]

I don't get the obsession with bacon.

Heathen

 

[GoldCrest]

Heathen

Agnostic, but, I'll take it.

 

[JJJ's Ulcer]

I don't get the obsession with bacon.

Thank you. Bacon's just a bit of crispy meat strung together by veins of fat.

It must be said, Canadian bacon's a good deal better than American bacon (at least it tastes like the pig died in the last year), but neither are God's gift to cuisine.

 

[Manic]

Ugh. Time to stock up on turkey-bacon and all-beef hot links.

 

[knowsbleed]

Just... like... religion.

 

[bored]

This is what's going to start World War 3. Not peak oil, peak BACON.