Captain Clown AHOY Tis be Venom outline

[CaptainClown]

I wrote this out of boredom and to compare against another persons Venom story. An Fyi I don't care about this series and is done out of boredom, I just didn't want writing to go to waste so if anyone wants to improve on it go right ahead just tell me ya are.

• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Eddie Brock (EB) was thrown from the building. His body has become burnt almost beyond recognition lost his arm and leg. He is in a critical care stasis at New York Hospital
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]In the daze he witnesses Peter at his bed side then fades out and back in to his sister
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]They explain how he was at the construction site where they all were fighting as seen in SM3
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]EB when he regains consciousness begins ripping out the plugs hooked into him and so forth screaming “where is it!” He is held and frequently visited by his sister. The hospital in the end has EB leave early because he has no way to pay for the rest of the bills. He stays with his sister in a rural part of NY.
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]There he struggles with his new handicap and because of being black listed nobody accepts his photos. His sister lets say is a waitress and is struggling to help support EB.
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Dr. Conner announces a test phase of using a sample from a meteorite to help re grow his arm. Set to happen in the next week. EB wants to rejoin with the symbiote because he felt like a somebody
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]EB uses his old press pass ids and stuff and goes to the event and notices PP (peter parker) there. PP comes up to him and apologizes for everything and says you shouldn’t be here and if he tries anything funny he will have to stop him.
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]EB could not apologize back he moves to the back and remains to be out of sight
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Conner’s begins a demonstration of the symbiote and he prods it with electric currents to show how it takes on different forms and so forth
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]EB can’t stand the suffering he feels is being put onto the symbiote that he fakes tripping and through a series of aevents I am too lazy to go into he holds Conner hostage.
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]PP tries to talk EB out of it but EB breaks the case holding the symbiote and fuses with the symbiote.
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]The room is in a panic as they fuse together. His arm and leg are artificially replaced using the symbiote but while being joined you can see it kind of linking with him like through the wounds.
• ·[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Then have a fight scene between spider and venom then they get separated and bam end of Act 1

 

[Turtle-Man]

Mediocre, cliched, overused themes, static character, no character development. Caring, loving, waitress sister? Jumping into the experiment for no apparent reason?

Not a good outline. I wouldn't watch it. Want to improve it? Get rid of the cliches, give your characters some development.

 

[CaptainClown]

oo turtle I love you, followin me here aren't ya aren't you cheeky.

Still mad people didn't like your script aye? If I had some money I would lend you some to get a drink

 

[Turtle-Man]

I didn't follow you to defend myself. I followed you to say your outline just plain sucks.

 

[CaptainClown]

But you still following me aren't ya?
I really could care less I hated Spiderman especially SM3 and I hated squeaky Topher Grace guess it must rub off on my outline

 

[Turtle-Man]

But you still following me aren't ya?
I really could care less I hated Spiderman especially SM3 and I hated squeaky Topher Grace guess it must rub off on my outline

I didn't follow you here. I went to check out the Fan Art section. Went to the "SHH! Community" category and saw your topic. Decided to check it out.


The story sucks. 'Nuff said.

 

[CaptainClown]

Wow you really are celebrating it sucks huh. As I said before I don't care it probably does suck I can't tell I wrote it, but its not as fun as getting you agitated.

 

[Danger Mouse]

Knock it off, you two! I don't know what history the two of you share, but knock it off, please.

Clown, you invited criticisms, so take it. I see nothing derogatory in Turtle-Man's comments.

 

[CaptainClown]

Knock it off, you two! I don't know what history the two of you share, but knock it off, please.

Clown, you invited criticisms, so take it. I see nothing derogatory in Turtle-Man's comments.

gotcha

 

[Spider-Girl™]

I know you wrote it out of boredom, but like your "friend" Turtle was saying, you took too many liberties, and the result was well...you know. If you didn't care so much about this then why post it? If you don't care about something you post what makes you think anybody else would?

And if you hated Spider-man/SM-3 and Topher then why oh why would you write a story/outline? Common Sense ain't so common anymore.



And that's way too much for Act 1, perhaps you should scour google for tips on screenplay writing.

 

[CaptainClown]

well it wasn't anything that I really cared about it but it was something written and since I really don't care about the idea or anything like that its a toss away idea.

The thing between me and turtle goes back and this was written about an application of an idea. I loathe the whole idea of a venom spin-off this is just incase someone wants it and wants to retune it and call it their own

 

[Spider-Girl™]

Ah ok, makes sense.

 

[CaptainClown]

ya I didn't want the writing to go to waste =)