Centipedes Are Satan's Sperm With Legs!!

[Lightning Strykez!]

Centipedes Are Satan's Sperm With Legs!!
Another Condemned LS Adventure​

Guys, I think I may have a serious problem. I have a phobia.

I was cleaning out my garage today. I had to reach up on a shelf to put an item away. Now keep in mind that it's 70-something degrees here so I'm wearing a wife-beater (that's ghetto-speak for 'sleeveless muscle tee'). This particular area of the garage was cast in shadows, so I couldn't exactly see what was on the shelf. I placed the box on it, and scooted it over a bit. Suddenly I felt something prickly come scurrying down the length of my arm...it was a ***king centipede.

Now, let's be clear: I'm a masculine dude. I don't cry. But I will admit here on the internet that I screamed like a little beeyotch when I realized that sucker was on me. I shook my arm so hard that I prolly looked like I was playing some sort of ******ed, sped-up version of The Hokey Pokey--just shaking my ass aaaaalllll about. The 'pede ran up my arm a bit and then fell off to the ground. I looked down at it. And...I think it looked up at me too. It was unmistakably ugly. I was enraged. It was put to death...execution style.

After I scraped its gooey goodness off the bottom of my sandal, I realized that I had accumulated literal beads of sweat on my forehead, neck and chest. Now keep in mind, I wasn't sweating at all before this ordeal. Yet, in just a few seconds this creature had actually freaked me out to the point where I was sweating in a frenzy. It was then that I realized that I HATE Centipedes. I've always hated them. They freak me out even worse than spiders. Even worse than roaches. I find them utterly disgusting.

And...I hate to admit it but...I think I am genuinely afraid of them. I guess I have officially diagnosed myself with Centipedophobia. In fact, just typing this report makes me feel like something is on me.

What about you? Do centipedes freak you out too? What other insects make your skin crawl?

 

[Cyrusbales]

I'll never sleep with one again....

 

[kane9321]

damn..glad u made it out alive

 

[kytrigger]

Is this LS's way of telling us he's pregnant?

 

[November Rain]

suck it up wimp boy

 

[Sassy1]

I hate all insects!

 

[Strange]

Well thay are freaky looking but they are kinda neat to watch walking around just as long it is not on you. About a year ago I sprained my ankle, I went to the doctors to get it checked out. I was put in a little room and was waiting for the doc to come in and one like in the top pic came running out from underneath my chair and it freaked me out. I watched it walk around for about 10 minutes waiting for the doc. There was a glass jar full of swabs on the sink, I emptied the swabs and put the jar over the bug to show the doc. He just lifted the jar and stepped on it and tried to play it off but it was really nasty. I will never go back there again.

 

[JP]

Bugs are gross... I haven't run into many centipedes, though. Now roaches.. I hate those suckers. They're terrible house guests. You know, the ones who never leave.

 

[SoulManX]

Centipede
Centipede

Your love
Is like a ragin' fire, oh
You're a snake that's on the loose
The strike is your desire

But when the centipede is hot
You're bound to feel the fire, huh
And when the centipede is hot
You're bound to feel the fire

I feel, oh, yeah
A longin' for your touch
Like you crawled into the bathroom window
To give him all your love, ho

Like a centipede that's hot
The fire is in your touch
Just like a centipede you've got
A lot of lovin' to touch

Don't you know in the quiet of the night
Is when the snake is in the crawlin'
And the moon starts to glow then disappear
When the time is really right
Is when the centipede is crawlin'
You'll be crying in the night so many tears
And you're crawlin' like a centipede

Centipede

You came, oh
To strike him with your touch
Like you crawled into the bathroom window
To bite him with your love

Like a centipede that's hot
The fire is in your touch
Just like a centipede you've got
A lot of lovin' to touch

Don't you know in the quiet of the night
Is when the snake is in the crawlin'
And the moon starts to glow then disappear
When the time is really right
Is when the centipede is crawlin'
You'll be crying in the night so many tears
And you're crawlin' like a centipede

Centipede

In the quiet of the night
Is when the snake is in the crawlin'
And the moon starts to glow then disappear
When the time is really right
Is when the centipede is crawlin'
You'll be crying in the night so many tears

In the quiet of the night
Is when the snake is in the crawlin'
And the moon starts to glow then disappear
When the time is really right
Is when the centipede is crawlin'
You'll be crying in the night so many tears
And you're crawlin' like a centipede

Centipede
Centipede
Centipede

 

[POWdER-man]

Could have been worse...

 

[StrainedEyes]

If I ever saw this I'd kill myself.

Centipede's gross me out due to their many legs. How many do they f***in' need??

But Roaches are worse for me, just cause I've had more experience with them. I bought a bag of bread from the grocery store. The bread was incased in a plastic bag which was incased in it's own plastic bag. I went to open the outer bag and there was a roach inside which had to've gotten in when the bread was shipped. Now the bread itself was not infected, there was still a solid layer of plastic between the roach and the actual bread, but i threw that whole **** out and could'nt eat dinner.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

damn..glad u made it out alive

Barely.

Bugs are gross... I haven't run into many centipedes, though. Now roaches.. I hate those suckers. They're terrible house guests. You know, the ones who never leave.

Roaches are probably #3 on my list. I hate them because they run entirely too fast for their own good. And they watch you. I prefer my insects to be dumb as hell and oblivious to the fact that they are about to be killed.

Roaches outscheme you. Those beeyotches will even play dead in some countries. That makes them cunning.

I hate them very well.

 

[jaguarr]

Is this LS's way of telling us he's pregnant?

It's entirely possible one crawled in his ear while he was sleeping and laid it's eggs.

jag

 

[Darthphere]

It's entirely possible one crawled in his ear while he was sleeping and laid it's eggs.

jag

He'll be the first to die, because he's black.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

If I ever saw this I'd kill myself.

Oh HEEEEELLLLL no! You've got to be ***king kidding me. That looks like something outta some damn Godzilla Vs. Geedra movie.

I'd just die. It can have it.

 

[Strange]

They need a centipede X-man, he would be really gross looking and have hundreds of arm legs and he's always out trying to save people but he just makes the situation worse by scaring them to death.

 

[jaguarr]

He'll be the first to die, because he's black.

He's also half German, which means he's double doomed because the Nazi always dies, too.

jag

 

[Darthphere]

He's also half German, which means he's double doomed because the Nazi always dies, too.

jag

That just means he'll be killed by Indiana Jones, which is an honor.

 

[Lightning Strykez!]

He's also half German, which means he's double doomed because the Nazi always dies, too.

jag

Heil these muthasuckah.

 

[Strange]

Yep LS is going to become the centipede x-man. He will become what he fears the most.

 

[KevanG]

Personally, I like bugs. Spiders on the other hand freak me out. I do the same thing if theres even a small one crawling on me. Mind you I can watch them for a long time without freaking out as long as they aren't on me.

 

[Jack Rabbit]

LS, does this mean if you've ever eaten a centipede, you've swallowed Satan's spunk?

Poor rain forest dudes. They're all sexual deviants and they don't even know it.

 

[jaguarr]

That just means he'll be killed by Indiana Jones, which is an honor.

If Indy kills him then at least he won't have to endure the pain and terror of having thousands of baby centipedes crawling out of his ear with parts of his brain in their tiny, pincher-like mouths.

jag

 

[kane9321]

Oh HEEEEELLLLL no! You've got to be ***king kidding me. That looks like something outta some damn Godzilla Vs. Geedra movie.

I'd just die. It can have it.

oh my sweet god

 

[Matt]

Yeah, thats probably the best description I've ever heard for one.