Christmas Carols and Songs

[redmarvel]

Which do you love, which do you hate. (If you post the lyrics put them in spoilers to keep this thread shorter).

 

[Addendum]

Here's a couple I like t:

Holy S***, it's Christmas! by Red Peters

Spoiler

Hamster #1: Did you hear that?

Hamster #2: Hey everybody, Santa's here!

Hamster #3: Aw, there ain't no Santa Claus.

Hamster #2: There is, too!

Hamsters: He's here!!!

Red: Ho, ho, ho...Merry Christmas!

Hamster #1: Aw S***, it's Red Peters!

Red: C'mon, you swinging hamsters, get over here. We're gonna sing us a happy Christmas song.

Hamster #3: Oh no, not another corny stupid song!

Hamster #2: Yeah no way.

Red: Get over here and sing or I'll wring your little necks.

Hamsters: Okay, okay

Red:
Grab your nuts hamsters, gather round with me.
Forget about all that teasin'.

Hamsters: laughing

We're breaking out the holly and aluminum tree
Cause it's that jolly season.

Hamster #3: Oh boy!

I know you've been naughty, but have you been nice?
That's only Santa's business

Hamster #2: That's right Red

He's making his list and he's checking it twice.

Hamster #1: Uh oh

All: Holy S***, it's Christmas!

Hamsters:
Santa comes just once a year

Red: Tell 'em Hamsters

Just like you, Red. That's what we hear.

Red: Hey wait a minute...

He's got a soft spot for reindeer.

Red: Aww that's nice

Especially Rudolph's derierre.

Red:
Hey, knock it off fellas. It's a holiday.
Go on, give Santa a big kiss.

Hamster #2: No way

You can play "hide the hamster" on the one-horse sleigh.

Hamster #1: Hey wait a minute!

All: Holy S***, it's Christmas!

Red: Hey what happened to my lyric sheet? Anyone seen my lyric sheet?

Hamster #1: Heck, we don't need no lyric sheets, Red. We know our parts by heart. Right, fellas?

Hamster #3: Yeah sure, I know my part

Hamster #2: Yeah me too

Red: Well that's great, guys. I love Christmas songs.

Godfried: Santa tried reaching up the neighbor's blouse
After drinking all the egg nog

Red: Is that necessary?

Bruce: Camped out in the bathroom for an hour or two
Squashing off a yule log

Red: Godfried!!!

Raleigh: He wandered in his undies all over the house
But we minded our own business

Red: Oh brother

Hamsters: Til we caught him stuffing hamsters up a gift wrap tube.
All: Holy S***, it's Christmas

Red:
Santa comes just once a year.
Up the chimney he'll disappear.

Hamsters:
Keep on the lookout for Mr. Gear
Hamster deliveries in the rear

Red:
Gimme those lyrics
Roastnuts chestin' on an open fire
Santa's tongue stuck to the doorknob
what?
His balls got fondled by a caroling choir
While the parson gave him a hand...what?!
The sleigh came down and took him away.
The whole damn crowd was dismissed.

All:
It was a time to be jolly and a time to be gay.
Holy S***, it's Christmas.
Holy S***, it's Christmas.
Holy S***! It's Christmas!

You Ain't Getting S*** for Christmas by Red Peters

Spoiler

They say Christmas is a time for giving - at least that's what the good book says, and at our house every Christmas Eve my son and daughter and their families drive down from the big city for an old fashioned family holiday. Ma dresses the house up like a Christmas card, you can hear her in the kitchen singing while she's baking cookies for the children. Ma spends hours wrapping the presents she's been buying since last August and hangs all the stockings over the fireplace. The morning of, I cut me down the prettiest darn Christmas tree you ever saw in your life. Eh, this year we really outdid ourselves. You know, Ma and I are getting on in our years so we decided to give the kids tax-free cash gifts of $10,000 apiece.

(barking)

I reckon it was around noon, I heard the dogs barking (yells "Come Rags!, Come Guzzler!") and there was Jim the mailman in his old santa cap, coming up the walk teasing the dogs, holding a package. Well he handed it over to me and says "Pappy, looks like you got an overnite package from your daughter". I went back in the kitchen and Ma tore it open. To our horror we unwrapped a fruitcake with a note that read...

"Aloha Ma & Dad, at the last minute we got a cheap fare on the internet and went to Hawaii. Hold onto our gifts until after the first of the year. Love, Princess."

Well, Ma's heart was broken and I felt a lump in my throat as I thought to myself...

You Ain't Getting s*** For Christmas
You can shove that fruitcake up your ass
well you ain't getting s***
no you ain't getting dick
you ain't getting s*** for Christmas

You know, Ma hasn't had a drink in 20 years and I've been off the sauce a while myself and heck, if there was ever an excuse to start drinking again. (sfx-doorbell) Who in tarnation could that be, Junior and his family? It was some delivery fella standing there holding what looked like a fruitcake tin with a card attached.

"Pop, the company's condo is free this week and you know how much Pumpkin and I love Hilton Head. Please forward our gifts to this address."

(sfx-cork and pouring sound)

Hey Ma, save some for me. Well, Ma took a coniption things turned ugly. She started breaking things and hurled the turkey and those two fruitcakes right through the front window, the whole time she was yelling...

You Ain't Getting s*** For Christmas
You can shove that fruitcake up your ass
well you ain't getting s***
no you ain't getting dick
you ain't getting s*** for Christmas

 

[CELTICPRED]

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[Addendum]

Christmas at Ground Zero
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[Immortalfire]

Love

O Holy Night
Do You Hear What I Hear
Christmas In Dixie
Til The Season Comes Round Again



Hate

The Christmas Shoes...vomit

 

[Raiden]

Do They Know It's Christmas Time - Feed the World

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[danoyse]

The Christmas Shoes...vomit

Agreed! Hate that song.


Love:
Santa Claus is Coming to Town/Merry Christmas Baby - Bruce Springsteen
Believe - Josh Groban
12 Days of Christmas - The Muppets
Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - U2 or Darlene Love, love both versions

 

[CELTICPRED]

The Home Alone soundtrack was where I heard most of my favorite Christmas songs:

White Christmas by The Drifters:

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[Immortalfire]

Alone On Christmas

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[SuperFerret]

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[danoyse]

The Drunk Lady 12 Days of Christmas:

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[redmarvel]

I like the Little Drummer Boy / Peace on Earth - Bowie & Crosby



I also like the Manitou Christmas Carol - the Nylons

And on the silly side, Mad Magazine came out with Christmas Bills (to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Spoiler

Christmas bills, Christmas bills,
Piled on the floor
Everyday the mailman comes and brings a dozen more
Oh Christmas bills, Christmas bills,
How the stores will swear, when they soon discover that my bank account is bear

Dashing off the cheques
All in great amounts
Mailing them today
Knowing they will bounce
Bill collectors come
Notify my boss
Now they get my salary
My life's a total loss

Oh Christmas bills, Christmas bills,
I'll go broke and then
When next Christmas rolls around
I'll do it all again

 

[Motown Marvel]

pretty much all traditional christmas songs suck, im sorry.

THE SONICS- Don't Believe in Christmas

 

[SuperFerret]

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My favorite classic Christmas song, and my new favorite performance of it. Never thought I'd have Stevie Wonder on my mp3 player.

 

[Mr.Webs]

The Kinks - Father Christmas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjaPXihbORk

John Lennon - Happy Christmas (War Is Over)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRBcwufAuQw

WHAM! - Last Christmas

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3354flS1KJs

And great choice Mowtown, never heard that one before. Turning 'Too Much Monkey Business' into a Christmas song = brilliance.

 

[redmarvel]

For a little Canadian content,

There's always Bob & Dougs version of the 12 Days of Christmas:



or, when one of our Zoo's was trying to get a Hippopotomus:

 

[Immortalfire]

Agreed! Hate that song.

t:

 

[Etienne]

You can't talk Christmas music without thinking Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24
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A Mad Russian's Christmas
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Wizards In Winter
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One of the most downloaded and aired Christmas songs, José Feliciano - Felíz Navidad
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[redmarvel]

Jingle Bell Rock
Silver Bells

and on my "hate" list: Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer

 

[redmarvel]

A Beatles Christmas mashup

 

[SuperFerret]

Do They Know It's Christmas Time - Feed the World

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I hate this song.

NO! THEY DON'T KNOW IT'S F***ING CHRISTMAS!! MOST OF THEM AREN'T EVEN F***ING CHRISTIAN, YOU ARROGANT, SELF-ABSORBED TWITS!

 

[redmarvel]

I hate this song.

NO! THEY DON'T KNOW IT'S F***ING CHRISTMAS!! MOST OF THEM AREN'T EVEN F***ING CHRISTIAN, YOU ARROGANT, SELF-ABSORBED TWITS!

Well Ferret, perhaps you'll prefer the Canadian attempt to raise funds for Ethopia that year...

Tears Are Not Enough - Northern Lights (written by David Foster, Jim Vallance, Bryan Adams, Rachel Paiement, Paul Hyde and Bob Rock)



(Thank Wikipedia for the following info - if you care)

Solo vocalists (in order):
Gordon Lightfoot
Burton Cummings
Anne Murray
Joni Mitchell
Dan Hill
Neil Young
Bryan Adams
Corey Hart
Bruce Cockburn
Liberty Silver
Geddy Lee (Rush)
Mike Reno (Loverboy)

Heard in duos or trios:

Mike Reno (Loverboy) with Liberty Silver
Carroll Baker, Ronnie Hawkins and Murray McLauchlan
Véronique Béliveau, Robert Charlebois and Claude Dubois
Bryan Adams with Don Gerrard
Salome Bey, Mark Holmes (Platinum Blonde) and Lorraine Segato (The Parachute Club)
(Alfie) Zappacosta with (Lisa) Dalbello
Carole Pope (Rough Trade) and Paul Hyde (The Payola$)

Chorus members included:

Paul Anka
Liona Boyd
John Candy
Tom Cochrane (Red Rider)
Tommy Hunter
Martha Johnson
Eugene Levy
Frank Mills
Kim Mitchell
Oscar Peterson
Paul Shaffer
Jane Siberry
Sylvia Tyson
Barry Harris (DJ)
Catherine O'Hara
Wayne St. John

 

[Axl Van Sixx]

Actually love this thrash metal version of "Silent Night" by Chuck Billy and Scott Ian.

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[childeroland]

My favorite carol is 'Bring a torch, Jeanette, Isabella,' both French and English versions.

Robert Shaw's Christmas albums are the very best. St. Olaf's and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir's are a close second and third.

Surjan Stevens version of 'The Friendly Beasts' is a standout.

 

[Valvalkyrie]

My favorite is Straight No Chaser's 12 days of christmas.