Comebacks

[C.F. Kane]

I'm sure that we've all had times when we wanted to verbally own somebody after being provoked or insulted, but could never find the words. So I thought that collectively, we could come up with some great comebacks for any situation, and for all to use.

Simply post a situation and let the other posters find a comeback.

 

[JLBats]

I just like to say "Dude, you are the king of *****ebaggery!"

It makes you look like an idiot, but saying "*****ebaggery" is fun.

 

[Immortalfire]

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework?
You: The TV wouldn't let me.

 

[JLBats]

Kid: Dude, your wang is hanging out.
You: You sound like you wanna touch it or something. You sicko.

 

[bulok]

this is just a hypothetical situation but like if your friend gets caught watching tranny porn or a gay porn and like people start calling him like yo dude you are gay!! like what's the comeback to that?

 

[JLBats]

this is just a hypothetical situation but like if your friend gets caught watching tranny porn or a gay porn and like people start calling him like yo dude you are gay!! like what's the comeback to that?

Subtle.

The comeback is "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it."

Or you could go nuts and scream "Your daughters are all lesbians!!"

 

[Revolver_Ocelot]

Well the jerkstore called and they're all out of you!

 

[Hades]

I usually find punching people in the face works better.

 

[Darren Daring]

This thread is for stupid people.

And me.

 

[rdh007]

this is just a hypothetical situation but like if your friend gets caught watching tranny porn or a gay porn and like people start calling him like yo dude you are gay!! like what's the comeback to that?

*in best Obi-Wan voice*
Who is more gay, the watcher of gay porn or the gay that watches him?

Subtle.

I thought the same thing. Poor guy.

 

[SLVRSR4]

This really isn't a comeback but if your gym teacher asks why you can't do a cartwheel... Go to wikipedia and search up diseases and such and handa list of what you have to her

 

[cryptic name]

the only good comebacks are born of the situation. you can't come up with them before hand, you just need to be quickwitted.

 

[DOG LIPS]

I'm going to have to go with an oldy but goody:

Like your face.

It fits 99% of situations and generally ends with the other person being

 

[cryptic name]

or implying in some way that you engaged in sexual congress with the oposing party's mother and/or girlfriend. that works out a lot.

 

[heypapajinx]

I'm going to have to go with an oldy but goody:

Like your face.

It fits 99% of situations and generally ends with the other person being

OH. MY. GOD.
i totally use that one alllllllll the time.
that and "i know you are but what am i?"
people usually start laughing and therefore stop beating the crap out of me.

 

[SLVRSR4]

can you comeback to those comebacks?

 

[DOG LIPS]

that and "i know you are but what am i?"
people usually start laughing and therefore stop beating the crap out of me.

Really? When I do that I get the fury.

 

[heypapajinx]

Really? When I do that I get the fury.

i don't know.
maybe they're laughing because i'm crying so hard and asking for my mommy.
or maybe it's the fact that i tell them to please stop because i already have blood in my urine and stool...
but i prefer to believe it's because of my fantasic late 80's comebacks.

 

[Ash J. Williams]

Worker guy: Hey kid! It is unlawful to skateboard on this property.
You: Well, you know what? Up yours, you freakin' butthole!

 

[cryptic name]

the comeback to end all comebacks.

antagonist- (any number of put downs, insults, or rude comments)
you- yeah? well, F**K YOU.

 

[SLVRSR4]

I keep hearing this one

"If i wanted a comeback i would wipe it off your chin"

It is annoying along with any involving hygenic products

 

[Holly Goodhead]

I usually just say "ew youre ugly", it works pretty good.

 

[Master Chief]

"Why the f**k are you so stupid?"

"I have lupus."

"..."

Or I say HIV, then spit in their face, lol.

 

[cryptic name]

"Why the f**k are you so stupid?"

"I have lupus."

"..."

Or I say HIV, then spit in their face, lol.

 

[Halcohol]

"Hey, when I want lip from you I'll undo my pants."